Accepting It's Your Fault For The Breakup | Breakup Recovery and Moving On From Guilt

Are you agonizing over the fact that it’s your fault for the breakup? Here’s how to handle your guilt and anxiety… and (possibly) recover the situation:
Amy writes, “Hi Susan. Really appreciate you sharing your insights. My question is, how should I accept the fact that I messed up a relationship and have hurt my partner? I wasn't showing up in the relationship kindly and have said very judgmental and hurtful things that bruised her ego. Now she broke up with me I wish I could go back and rewrite the history, but it's too late. How do I live with this regret?”
• Why you feel such guilt over the breakup that was supposed to set you free.
• How dumpers remorse keeps you locked in a loop of stagnation
• How to make peace with yourself and move on knowing that your decision was right, or take action to get your ex back
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[@alia-als]

We are human beings, breakups are part of our life.. even if it was your fault it’s a part of your life that will lead you to the best version of yourself.. 💜

[@SusanWinter]

Wise words. Thanks for that.

[@onetoners]

It's my fault and I can't get over her now she's found someone else

[@benjaminisland222]

@@onetoners same bro.....

[@kaleavanti5291]

I screwed too.. now really feeling horrible.. can't say sorry since I am blocked.. it's very painful and shameful..I hope , I will come out of this strong better person

[@lethargicguy3374]

Hey so sorry to hear that. Any updates on the situation?

[@vivekamar99]

Susan! This video couldn't have come at a better time for me. I screwed up a platonic relationship and am now suffering, and my thoughts exactly match yours. I wrote them today in my journal.

[@SusanWinter]

This is incredible synchronicity. Almost every time I post a video. I have one person who responds with. Oh my God. It’s exactly what I needed to hear today. This makes me so happy.

[@turner2952]

Outstanding advice, Ms. Susan. Thank you! Over time, we learn and grow from our mistakes. I think we have all been "young and dumb" at one time or another. The key is to learn from our mistakes and stop repeating them. That definition of insanity comes to mind - doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome!

[@SusanWinter]

Brava!! Perfect advice. Thank you dear Linda.❤❤❤

[@VentiColdbrew_]

Needed this

[@SusanWinter]

Fantastic. I love reading messages like this.

[@Powerskaty]

I wish others were teaching how to move on instead of how to get him back. You are very wise. Thank you.

[@TheNinjapancake14]

It is a thank you, next moment. You take the lessons and move differently in the next season 💜

[@SusanWinter]

Great advice

[@LuisArias-ui5dw]

Ur advice is gold Susan keep up the great content 🌹🌹🌹

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you! Will do!

[@sherriflemming3218]

We are all the common denominator. Accepting ownership is emotional maturity.

[@SusanWinter]

👍👍👍

[@aidanmohrman9493]

I’m in the same situation. Only I caused the breakup once before and it was the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced. I found all my flaws, addressed them, and even improved. We got back together and life felt complete. Soon after I fell back into my old patterns and now she left me again. I could have done so much better and should have been in therapy along with dating her. I would do absolutely anything to be back with her and the warm weather is here that we made plans for all winter. My heart aches so badly and I feel so lonely. I will never find a partner as good as she was. I don’t know what to do.

[@samtazi]

How long you've been broken up the first time?

[@aidanmohrman9493]

@@samtazi 2 months. Then by a legitimate miracle, I drove to her new college campus 3 hours away to find her (with 80k students) and walked around for about an hour and found her. We talked and then a week later started seeing eachother again. It was insane, I followed signs from the universe or god or whoever and they led me to her. Then a few moths later my shitty patterns comtinued and we split. This time likely for good.

[@Msyztik]

I’m going through similar thing, we dated all winter & when summer hit we broke up…can’t help but think of all the good times we were going to have. Hang in there bro, if you learn something from it use it for next one..what I try to tell myself..how u doing now?

[@onelove0808]

Thank you so much Susan..! I am in so much pain and I think this was very apt for me. Always beautiful and very effective videos from you..!! thanks a lot.😍

[@yeuruuerueeheue]

I was scared to watch this because I was afraid it would add to the guilt and regret, but of couse it did the opposite. Susan I love and thank you so much❤️ I really look up to you, I’m only 24 so I have a lot to learn.

[@SusanWinter]

I’m so happy you watched it and that you wrote to me. Thank you so much for this.❤

[@crystallibert3811]

thanks Susan, it help me by limiting my guilty feeling but am working on becoming a better version of myself after this.

[@JonathonAslay]

Good points... 👍🏼

[@SusanWinter]

Glad you think so!

[@wildinourways]

Thank you so much for this. Feeling so much guilt right now. Really missing her.

[@mlantieri]

Hi lovely Susan😘. Another eye opener for changing behavior is to ask your very best friend what they like and DISLIKE about you, then work on those things with humility. Big hugs to Nikka🐶🐶🥰!!

[@SusanWinter]

Love that! That’s excellent advice Mark. And thank you. Nikka is lying here right now in my TV tray which she is convinced is her bed. Pause up. On her back. A big bundle of white fur.

[@itisharaghu9857]

Thank you, Ms Winter you’re really helpful. I think, I’ll come back to this definitely. I was scared to click on this but I’ve finally found some answers to my agony. Looking forward to a better me.

[@belle7437]

I initiated the break up but never was confident to actually do it. The reason why is because I wasn’t getting the girlfriend treatment. It felt like I was settling for less. I also want to grow with him but he remains stagnant and when I try to push him to strive for more, he discarded them and says I’m being manipulative. I got too pushy but also I want him to see his worth as a person and how much value he has but he never recognizes them. I love him and treated him well yet it felt like it was my fault for asking for more from him. My friends and family said it wasn’t my fault that I laid out all my needs, but part of me thinks I was not fair to set him for too much expectations. He broke up with through text while I was at work. He didn’t bother to call, so I had to step outside to talk to him but I can’t really say much because I wasn’t in the right place. I was hoping we would talk by the time I get off but he went cold turkey. Still nothing from him. I’m suffering from pain every day I wake up. Three days in now. I just wish he would talk to me.

[@lala-lj5uf]

susan but his friends already hate me and i still feel deep remorse for what i did, just trying to better myself as well now

[@سردينة]

It’s because I kept a secret from my past and not telling him and now I hate myself for it I hurt him so bad I can’t forget myself

[@Pizzarolls--fw5cd]

I feel you I did the same I kept something from my past even tho it was nothing big I kept it a secret and she was going to find out so I told her the truth and I lost her trust 😢

[@Lilly77711]

Hey susan i had a break up before four years, i was disrespectful but she also had some mistakes from her side. Now after four years i couldn't stop talking with her so i called her and she spoke to me well but she is giving mixed signals. Still now she didn't accept to meet me but she is bit curious to meet. What should i do? Does this work shall i try or drop it ?

[@CoconutwCoco]

in which video she talks abt on the table negotiation?

[@SphiweMotsoene]

I Really needed to hear this, THank you so much for this

[@prettypizza]

Thank you so much Susan 💛 my ex is gone forever but this is very helpful for the guilt and regret drowning me for the past year

[@SusanWinter]

I hope you can rethink the situation. Sometimes things break apart because they were truly meant to.