The Power Of The NO CONTACT RULE and Why It Works

There’s power in the no contact rule. Love Advice discusses what it means to go no contact when to go no contact, why it works, and how it benefits your mental clarity and self-esteem.
Today's live show answers: what it means to go no contact, when to go no contact, how long to go no contact, the power of the no contact rule, why it works, and how it benefits your mental clarity and self-esteem.
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KEYWORDS
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[@SusanWinter]

Work with Me: susanwinter.net/consultation/

[@shaynelin2660]

"I have loved you beyond anything I knew to be loved. You have abused that beyond any scope of civility." Yes Susan, well said. This is what I felt and am still feeling being dumped and cheated on 3 weeks ago.

[@libraladynior2249]

The thing is … it’s really important that you are healing yourself because what if you find that they don’t come back

[@sammielisabeth4928]

Thank you Susan. I've only just decided a few days ago to close the door on someone who can't give me what I want. Took me a little while to get here, but I'm finally in a knowing space and I'm softly walking away from him.

[@socol76]

I’m trying to work up the courage to do the same

[@Geektaard]

Thank you Susan for this! I went no contact last winter with my exfiancé after a very messy breakup from a 7 year long relationship. I truly did want to have him in my life.. but my mental and emotional health declined rapidly since I still wanted to be together.. so I did a no Contact.. it was the hardest thing I have ever done since I’m a people pleaser through and through… but I finally found myself thanks to the no contact. Do I still miss him? Yes, from time to time I do, I have not met anyone who grasped my attention as he did… but I live my life to the fullest and it has soon been a year since I started the no contact

[@antilaw9911]

And unless you meet someone new who can surpass what you had, you will unfairly not be fully invested in them.

[@ignazs.5816]

This is the most helpful of all the breakup videos I've watched since I broke up and initiated no contact with the man who is my krytonyte. I cannot get over him and wish he'd come back, but still in no contact and I feel like I'm not moving forward. I'm in love with the idea of a better and improved man coming back, but his actual self is why we're not together in the first place. Thank you Susan. You hit every bullet point on why I can't get over him, from keeping notes and momentos, to feeling that our relationship had a deeper spiritual meaning than any other. It's been four months and people have said I should've been over him by now. Sadly, the pain is ongoing. I hope to get over him one day soon. Our connection was strong and we're both gay men. Such connection is hard to find nowadays, but his temper and traumas, and possibly borderline personality disorder were things I could no longer live with. I see him as a friend down the line but that cannot be at the moment. Thank you Susan for the beautiful information that you bestow upon us.

[@mesCheerios]

Don't let people tell you when you should be over something! I swear the shame my friend gave me when she said i should have been over a guy after a month made it HARder for me to get over him! because it was even more pain, and more reason to want that acceptance and validation back. Later on i found out she had once experienced the exact same irrationally strong attachment to someone that she couldn't get over. No one can tell you how long your feelings should last, everyone is completely different inside and they did not feel what u felt which was special to you, maybe your first time feeling it even! But if you have felt it before the feeling is in you and you are capable of feeling it again with someone else. Good luck in your healing, even if it takes you 12 months i accept you for who you are, it's ok to have powerful emotions

[@mesCheerios]

Sorry my comment seemed demanding in itself haha but i was just exclaiming because i got flashbacks to being shamed for my feelings and the months of additional difficulty that contributed to

[@SusanWinter]

THANK YOU ALL FOR JOINING THIS DISCUSSION!!

[@magdanovacmissouritigers6405]

Thank you so much! ❤

[@bynisdcjtm]

"Over giving, over nurturing, over forgiving, bending our boundaries ocommodating to them, because we're nice and we wanna be nice and we wanna be loving and we're born nurturers, help and guide and heal and blah blah blah"

[@kori4580]

truth be told, all things have consequences. And it sucks that 2 months after my ex broke up with me(I'm about to into no contact in a month when I move out), I'm the one who is dealing with the consequences and he hasn't yet.

[@graceperez5620]

I listened to this three times..taking notes on how and what to say to him because it sounds so clear and concise the way you put it. Long time listener thanks for all the videos❤

[@brego12317]

This is right on! I can't say it better. This was much needed and as always Susan you are incredible. I'm super stoked over this. Listen to Susan on this everyone because I went through this as in time I figured it out after I removed the rose colored glasses. Bravo!

[@thejordyjoansofficial]

Joining late - but LOVE the new specs, Susan!

[@ezra9622]

Love you Susen.. thank you for everything

[@bridgettejakob9227]

Such great content!

[@anitaspertos2544]

Yes your right someone came to see me from another state told he was coming back but changed his mind

[@catherinegardener9511]

Thank you Susan.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for joining!

[@Sparksflymich]

love you susan you're saving my life after a situationship break up

[@dea-deephinney6434]

Susan, you videos and advice are so amazing. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you so much!

[@anitaspertos2544]

This person told me constantly he loved to well why say and changed his mind but I learned from it

[@wjy83]

OMG...you'll be in Kuala Lumpur, Susan? When will that be?

[@ozzymollyful]

I went no contact with an ex a year ago and it was the best thing for my mental health. I didn’t want to be a trauma dump for them without anything in it for me. I explained I wanted to go contact because I needed to get over them

[@SusanWinter]

I’m glad you did that! It’s important to realize what you need to heal and act on it.

[@EduardJoas]

wowo good videos

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you so much 😀

[@angllnbzn]

What about when you have to see them and work with them still?

[@sherryteague801]

❤❤❤

[@libraladynior2249]

So should I block him on social media outlets ?

[@clairelouisasmith2551]

would love to know your opinion on blocking. I blocked for no contact and I'm wondering whether I should unblock or keep blocked.

[@libraladynior2249]

I didn’t block him but I’m wondering if I should … he follows me on iG , fb , and tik tok…

[@flat4wankel]

Been doing NC but my ex keep reachin out and goes back to her rebound. She broke NC again couple of days ago but this time, she email. But i didn't reply. Do i ignore or reply?

[@beachgirl4]

Hi❤

[@SusanWinter]

Hello there!

[@lilitLun]

32:09 ❤

[@lesterespiritu375]

Does no contact also mean cutting all connections with that person on all social media platforms, even though we have established no communication whatsoever?

[@ozzymollyful]

I cut social media contact with my ex and I’m glad I did as it just hurt keeping seeing them. It helped my mental health

[@SusanWinter]

I feel that falls under the same bucket. I’ve never met someone who regretted unfollowing their ex after a breakup

[@lesterespiritu375]

Thank you Susan!🫶🏻

[@anitaspertos2544]

He told me he loved me we talked every night for 3hours I told him I was done with him

[@petersjj]

"Someone tried to hit you and you ducked. You're not a bad person." 🔥🔥🔥🔥🧯

[@SusanWinter]

❤❤❤❤❤