Dumper's Remorse

What is dumper’s remorse? Love Advice discusses the 9 very real reactions that dumpers have after they broken up with you. It’s comprised of regret, guilt, confusion, emptiness, and wondering if they made the right decision to evacuate.
You may not see it. They may never tell you. You may not even hear about it through mutual friends. But take heart. While you’re wondering if they ever loved you, they can be going through days and weeks of distress and second thoughts.
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[@macmccollum6064]

From the dumpee's point of view, I found this incredibly interesting and accurate.

[@barbara6840]

An ex is an ex for the reason that if they can't comeback with change behavior and hold themselves accountable. Remember not all recycling is good recycling. Find a better one.

[@SusanWinter]

Love this Barbara. You’re repeating exactly what the Dalai Lama said. “Maybe you find better one.”

[@ManifestationPowerhouse]

Our worst fear is they’ll move on, into the arms of another, without any of the problems we had. That all our effort would make them a better person, only for someone else to enjoy. News flash - they’re the same flawed person with the new person. Only now, they’re their problem and not yours.

[@freespirit1978]

This makes so much sense! I've been fearing just this and now I see that it is actually the next person's issue. Wise words ❤

[@norswil8763]

Imagine that same fear, but only that your ex was a very secure and amazing person… and I’m not in denial or putting her on a pedestal. She’s a real prize, but, our connection was very particular and strong, I don’t think she’ll settle for anything less… I’m hoping.

[@coconutwater4531]

I read this as Dumpster’s Remorse 🤣

[@SusanWinter]

Cute

[@Stephaniekorakianitis]

Same thing 😂

[@daryll9049]

​Susan, I've watched your video 'Breakups... can't we be friends?' dozens of times. Without you I would still be in the loop. I was forced into friend-zone 13 months ago until I finally just broke out of the loop. He's distraught and panicked.

[@SusanWinter]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@SusanWinter]

So happy to read this. And I saw it during the live show. I’m really really happy for you and isn’t it magical that when you let go, they suddenly begin to suffer.

[@johnmoreno5965]

Sugar pie you look good no matter what laptop you use ❤ oh wow another good topic my lady 😘

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you John. Hope you like the show. Thank you for all your support.

[@JanesOracle]

Anger surely comes from somewhere, but it needn't be the partner, it can be fear of intimacy and childhood trauma respectively attachment issues. That he keeps texting could be a sign that he's in a trauma bond.

[@SusanWinter]

Absolutely. It could be anxious attachment or a trauma bond as well.

[@antilaw9911]

The person who contacted about finding a ring in couch... only reason they contacted is because they want them back. Not for revenge. Because if they that revengful shows they have passionate feelings still

[@SamsungGalaxy-dc5mq]

They dont experiences remorse, they experience regret. Major difference.

[@ifeoluwaoyetunde8564]

Really learnt a lot from this session.

[@SusanWinter]

Fantastic

[@davemaurer7341]

Dissmissive avoidant will be monkey branching like mad...ok they realize they are only a dumpster and then they come back..... Sad

[@antilaw9911]

Hi Susan. I'm the guy from Roseville. Lived in Blaine with my ex 7.5 years. Remember she ditched me and got married and bought house with loser first boyfriend? Well, she was texting and contacting me and regrets what she did. Says she made terrible mistake etc. Wants our life back. Admits being miserable lost her family etc. I give her credit for confessing but that degree of betrayal there is no reconcile. I stopped replying to some messages a few months back. At beginning I ignored her. I have a new girlfriend and don't really think about my ex anymore. But which my new girl and things going good I did have fear of totally letting go my past with ex. So it kinda prevented me from moving forward too fast. Idk... I see why love has so many complications. That was 2020 our breakup and been living alone for 3 years now my apartment.

[@melaniecastillo9786]

Stay strong. She has today's regrets. That is not your problem. Know your worth. Keep going with your new relationship (speaking from experience)

[@dangfd551]

Do a flip video on dumpee’s remorse?

[@northshorelight35]

This is why I don’t date men who’s divorced, widowed or long term relationship.

[@hilea.m.z4460]

Why ?

[@EnzoIsabella]

They are so damaged ....

[@melaniecastillo9786]

Who is left? 18 year old virgins?

[@leslieanntheodore5015]

What if this is often? Like monthly SMH

[@dinadina-px9rr]

how can we take an appointment with you directly?

[@Jules-740]

He ghosted me again for two weeks and now he came back to apologize. But i think he is just saying goodbye to me.

[@Jules-740]

We only dated for a month so like about 6 dates only. However we had incredible compatability. Both of us were after serious relationship, he talked to me about family and finances and asked about mine. We had deep emotional connection and lots of chemistry. But most importqnt to me is the compatability and values that we shared. We also suffered through traumas that were nearly identical. We both loved eachothers personalities and mannerisms he told me so. I have never met someone like hom in my life before and im 40 yrs old. I cant imagine life witb someone else. Ever. Nobody like him out there.

[@SusanWinter]

You really need to get to the reason “why.” Why did he ghost to begin with. Is it something he’s afraid of. Is he seeing somebody else. Because if he has that behavior now, he is not going to be any better later on. Unless you know the way of it, and he comes clean,I wouldn’t waste any time considering this person as a partner

[@Jules-740]

@SusanWinter i think i know the reason. He's lost all and any interest in me. But im hoping i can continue to have him in my life as a friend at the very least.

[@lifeisbeautiful7047]

I usualy love your videos, but this one made my emotions invalidated, the intro that makes the dumpers sound like an Evil person; just because they decided to walk away from a relationship that no longer meet their emotional needs !