Eclipse is the powerhouse of the cell

[@myglasseskeepslipping]

After reading some of the spicy takes on Stephanie’s writing deficiencies re: jasper’s confederacy backstory, now I really want to comb through the book(s) for textual evidence and write a story. There is a lot of discourse in this comment section about racism, but as someone who has studied and is studying the period (antebellum to reconstruction-era), simply changing Jasper’s allegiance to the union side would not, necessarily, exonerate him from allegations of past racism except in that he would not be on the side specifically fighting to keep black people enslaved, rather the side that fought to keep dominion over a set of states that wanted to leave. Emancipation was not what union soldiers, generals, or even Lincoln went into the war planning: it was a power move halfway through (a very morally good one, I think we all agree). And occasionally, you see records of Union officers acting in blatantly racist ways-take for example Gen. U.S. Grant, who barred Jewish men from enlisting in one state, I think it was Tennessee but I could be wrong, simply based on his own antisemitic opinions (this was before he was the big guy in charge). People have all kinds of reasons to want to enlist during wartime, and while I can’t deny that any way I can spin it Confederate Jasper would be at the very least complicit in the institution of slavery, it’s entirely possible that at the time he would see himself as standing up to a tyrannical government. Does this make confederate jasper less racist or problematic? Not really, given what I know about the situation now. Best case, he was just ignorant/brainwashed. Worst case, he was actively malicious. Either way, it sounds like Steph fucked up by leaving details out that she probably thought were implied. Like a lot of the Cullen backstories, sadly. I think someone in a thread here said that all of the Cullens would, by nature of existing in historical periods, have racist ideologies to unlearn, and Jasper is no exception, he just catches more attention than the others because of his association with the Confederacy. I firmly believe that there are two kinds of civil war buffs: those who stan the confederacy (yikes) and those who used to do so when they were young and naïve and thought the war was really about “states rights” (cringe). I have my reasons for thinking this, my own experiences (I’m the latter case, in case anyone was concerned) but I think what can be so appealing about the confederacy as a historical entity are the stories, not about the horrific institution of slavery, but about “southern gentlemen” “fighting for their homes” and such. Of course, it’s all propaganda to distract from what really matters (the fact that slavery is objectively morally wrong), but propaganda is effective when it has an aesthetic that people vibe with. And ultimately, I can’t blame Stephanie for falling for that aesthetic because I fell for it once, too. This wasn’t as big of a discussion in mainstream politics 2007 (though, what do I know, I’m a zillennial) so I can understand why Stephanie might think the confederacy was some long-dead ideology that she could use to emphasize how old Jasper was without needing to go into his character growth beyond that point or how he had to de-programme himself from that way of thinking to exist in the modern world because of course he did that work, it just isn’t as important as Jacob being weird and possessive and petty... I’m getting off topic. My intention was to unpack a little of why we (I) feel what we feel about one of my pet historical eras and the care with which even 160-year-old conflicts need to be treated because we’re still feeling the impact even today. (Out of curiosity, if any of you book-readers could tell me what rank jasper had, I’d love to know to further contextualize these opinions.)

[@SyntheticRose]

I FUCKING LOVE YOU! Seriously thank you so much for contextualizing this even more with your historical knowledge, it is much appreciated!I pretty much agree with everything that you said. To add on to it though, I feel like Gone with the Wind is one of the huge pieces of propaganda for like the southern gentlemanly aesthetic. Scarlett O'Hara is a force to be reckoned with and as much as I adore her I can still acknowledge the racism of the rest of the movie. The thing about the south is that both things can be true at the same time. Southerners can be charming and value hospitality but they can also be racist af. Like they are not mutually exclusive. Also Jasper was a major in the Texas calvary I think, i'm not sure about his unit but I know he was a major. Any way I loved every word in this comment if you have any more historical insights please feel free to share!

[@stankylegenthusiast530]

Damn shawty, you educated as hell

[@Aelvee]

How long did it take to write this?? Respect 😂😂😂😂👏👏👏👏

[@fedora_the_explorer3862]

ya really went for the whole novel huh?

[@ulasonal]

I really want to read that

[@cactusmom8203]

bella: literally punches jacob in the face for kissing her jacob: "she wants me"

[@cheyennecuevas3226]

Just like wasabi productions Richard

[@LesbieAnne]

literally all men

[@izzy926]

Cheyenne Cuevas omg exactly what i was thinking lmfaoo

[@Tasha22Bella]

Dude has hearing issues.. OR it's called denial Jacob DENIAL 😂😂😂

[@ghostface6419]

Brittany Pirtle nah

[@aquietlyconcernedmarshmall2040]

Charlie trying to have the “talk” with Bella is literally my favorite scene ever especially in the book she was so MORTIFIED and Edward knew what was gonna happen it was pure comedy

[@ava-vd5rs]

THAT SCENE IN THE BOOK IS HILARIOUS

[@maguita271]

I just remembered that, priceless!! Gosh, I want to read them again.

[@SwiftlyGay]

*I* was mortified

[@jadeambros]

Bella: *rejects Jacob in like different 10 movies Jacob: I kNoW sHe'S iN lOvE wItH mE tOo honey... no

[@natran7289]

Jade Ambrósio you’re at 300 likes and im not gonna ruin that so imma just comment that I fucking agree with youuuuuuuuuuuuu baha

[@yourstruly7086]

So annoying how she always told him she loved Edward not him, and he kept pushing the “I know you love me” bs on her.

[@stephcharles5792]

But she DID love him ?? There is literally a whole section in the book detailing when she finally comes to terms with her love towards jake, the movies definitely didn’t depict her feelings toward him correctly.

[@yourstruly7086]

Steph Charles but her feelings towards Jake were more affectionate rather passionate love like she had for Edward. It was clear that she was going to choose Edward over Jacob every time, but he still pushed the idea to them.

[@walkthedead4966]

But... she actually was in love with Jacob. Bella said it, Edward said, Stephanie Meyers said it. In fact, Meyers was specific enough to say that Bella fell in love with him during the course of New Moon, and that Jacob was right along in saying she was merely refusing to admit it (because she “loves Edward MORE.”)

[@antytled]

Bella: “Dad, I’m a virgin.” Also Bella: *proceeds to try to get those disco balls that same night*

[@tvojeprezuvky]

i WHEEZED

[@ghost_ai4125]

WHERES THE LIE THO

[@Ellie_2518]

THOSE DISCO BALLS!! 💀💀💀 WHY WOULD THAT BE TRUE THO

[@lovelysophxox]

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT 💀💀💀

[@tootired8303]

No one: Alice to Jasper: “Country boy I love youuuu” 😜

[@theatrekidwithinternetacce704]

Well all of the Jasper stans (im one of them) agree with Alice

[@mycommentis8934]

Good one

[@kingelias916]

jasper: *shows his arms covered in scars* us: oh shoot that’s hot

[@toastghost3174]

Sofia Stoopid IM SCREAMING 😂😂

[@constancekay6144]

😂😂

[@abcdefghij337]

I remember Vampire Bella seeing his scars for the second time and her new instincts telling her to back away from him because he was dangerous. As a human, she could barely see them.

[@Amaris-fw5pn]

Frrr

[@sammmysamsung]

We deserved to see Jasper and Rose have a better fight scene.

[@mariakara2419]

YES!!!

[@Hailey-xu1vc]

Samantha Markham for real 😂

[@no-gp3yt]

Yes we do you are so right!!🙂😁

[@charlotteruby3885]

Not me replaying the “my apologies m’mam” part because that is the cutest freaking thing ever and we deserved more jasper and Alice scenes

[@lyian7]

ma’am*

[@madisonallen6185]

🤣right!!! I love the scene

[@oh4539]

IT'S LITERALLY THE FUCKING CUTEST THING

[@larabarbatowolf803]

alice and jasper are so fucking adorable i can’t- they need a spin off

[@althealielborja5222]

me the whole day

[@binini623]

I personally think Jasper and Alice should've had more screentime and backstory in the movies, they're adorable

[@clay4961]

Yep and Carlisle and esme

[@kadenkardell4368]

I agree, I'm really hoping midnight sun talk about his family more.

[@clairew972]

Honestly though- an Alice and Bella romance would be so much better. But yeah, there nearly forgotten

[@maggierappa417]

Same with Rosalie and Emmett. IMO at least

[@spitfirerat]

The books have their backstories

[@augustusgloopswag]

why are they flirting when bella is dying of hypothermia lmaoooooo

[@victoriapennell1186]

this comment made that scene 10000000000000000000x better

[@lucia-js3ew]

*Brokeback Mountain has enter the chat*

[@isabellavalentinacasas9523]

@@lucia-js3ew HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[@rachelagron3414]

Okay but climbing into the sleeping bag is not how you treat hypothermia?? It's how you CONTRACT it???? So he literally just wanted to cuddle her??

[@augustusgloopswag]

@@rachelagron3414 fndldbdidbdi what do you mean contract hypothermia its not a disease??????

[@selenegarcia138]

look when jasper says "my apologizes ma'am" it's like really cute

[@dakotacasey7956]

His country accent came out...🥺... I'm simping

[@theatrekidwithinternetacce704]

@@dakotacasey7956 Who isn't??

[@dakotacasey7956]

@@theatrekidwithinternetacce704 he's actually from texas

[@theatrekidwithinternetacce704]

@@dakotacasey7956 The actor?

[@dakotacasey7956]

@@theatrekidwithinternetacce704 yes

[@hp1fen]

So alice shipped a stolen car from italy to the states? did she drive on the bottom of the ocean? did she carry the car in a backpack? we stan a logistic queen

[@bellas5140]

Edward got her the car when they returned from Italy

[@jessicac2455]

they flew, u can see it in the film. and then they stole the car in italy

[@NoreeenPlays]

Edward bought her that kind of Porsche as like a thank you gift, I guess. She also reminded him that it was bright yellow. 🤣🤟🏻

[@Mar-ft9xu]

Edward bought it for Alice. He bribed her to babysit Bella whenever he went away, but it didn’t work out, but she got to keep her bribe.

[@EmilyReign]

In the books they shipped the cars around most places they go

[@inniting]

I swear jasper is a HOT country boy

[@mar.aliashraflo]

Yes m’am

[@brightvcupid5301]

country boy i love youuuuuu

[@ale-mn5nx]

He has the right “yeehaw” energy 🤠🤠

[@helladaniela]

Sis, the confederate army is not cute.

[@Y0GabaGaba500]

@@helladaniela I was just gonna comment this sis😭😭😭 turns out the author is racist oof

[@corydk4834]

“It’s a wolf thing” should be a shirt.

[@Dsstiny]

I ordered it on aliexpress

[@justatransfrog743]

ikr

[@corydk4834]

Tatiana that’s even better ngl

[@mcrwillneverdie]

it is a shirt! 😂 I have an old one from torrid

[@snows12152]

I’ll buy it from LE PUSH. ITS LA PUSH BABY

[@hanah4736]

“This is the happiest I’ve seen him” Robert: *almost gets fired for not smiling enough*

[@riel8428]

For real???

[@michellev86]

Riley Lisica yes ma’am

[@thebeliebertalkshow]

Wait what?

[@moonmoonface119]

Riley Lisica yeah he was meant to smile way more but he wanted it to be rlly moody, and they almost fired him bc he refused to listen to them trying to make him smile more or something lol

[@kittengurl220]

Lil Plant Kid which is really funny cause in the bloopers and interviews he’s so goofy and joking around

[@olivia.mcdonald]

The way Jasper says “never turn your back on the enemy” is my favorite thing ever

[@SourPatchMoth]

The way he says it is the best

[@olivia.mcdonald]

@@SourPatchMoth fs

[@kit_kat_hi]

Jacob could’ve at least turned into a wolf before snuggling next to Bella Jesus

[@adriannemichaels5237]

But how would he fit into the tent?

[@youknowwhat6873]

@@adriannemichaels5237 I'm pretty sure he would be warm enough to not be in need of a tent .

[@RoyalGuardEziode]

@@youknowwhat6873 it was snowing, and that would mean bella would be on the snowy ground or on wet blankets which is even worse

[@joslyngilmore7247]

I wish Seth would have came in

[@ringarden3080]

He couldve put a shirt on at least

[@kimberleywilliams7802]

Stephanie Meyers not being able to explain all the Wolf quirks: *iTs A wOlF tHiNg*

[@eva-wh3mm]

Let's admit it: jasper and Alice had way more chemistry in the movies that Bella and Edward could ever

[@sashal1493]

Unicornicopia 102 WHERE IS THE LIE THO? sis you’re absolutely right

[@riel8428]

Bruh their fight scene gave me LIFE

[@sashal1493]

Riley Lisica Lmaooo it was immaculate

[@sashal1493]

tara k that’s so cool! They really are great together....Bella and Edward are fine it’s just....eh

[@riotgrrl453]

Robert and Kristen were literally together LMAOOO

[@leahmojo2178]

Yooo I am WHEEZING when Jacob entered the tent with the “heyyyy, heeeyyyy. How y’all doin” 🤣🤣🤣

[@amishasarkar8564]

😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭 I'm crying rn

[@Graciegray5943]

I'm literally weezing 🤣🤣🤣

[@elvenscar]

Dude that part had me wheezing at work. It took me tf out. I went back and rewatched it multiple times 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lunix3259]

It was so awkward 😂😂

[@shes_lovely4006]

“iM a ViRgiN dAd!” Charlie: 😳👁👄👁😳 “AnD iM a ViRgo!” Jacob: 👁👄👁

[@marina.gansey]

“thEY HAVE TO LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS” IM WHEEZING

[@aimun5255]

Charlie: use protection Bella: jeez dad you don't need to worry about that!! Also Bella: *gets pregnant

[@tigistaronica6413]

Then we wouldn’t have had to have seen that dumb cgi baby

[@maddiecast_]

Not only did she get pregnant right after high school she got pregnant with a demon baby that grows as fast as Edward running

[@trashgoblin8885]

At least they were already married

[@gemimamola7994]

Maddie Claire 😂😂😂😂

[@bangtanfoxy]

@@tigistaronica6413 that freaky scrunched up toddler face actually isn’t CGI. That version is an animatronic doll that they tried at first but gave up on because it was too creepy. They nicknamed it Chuckesmee lmao. It was never actually in the final version of the movie.

[@kellymurcray6942]

Take a shot every time Jacob says “It’s a wolf thing.”

[@SourPatchMoth]

No thank u I don't feel like dying of alcohol poisoning

[@markleehasthesamebirthdaya8015]

*its a w o l f thing* ✨✨✨

[@typical.bellaa]

Drunk by morning I tell you

[@kiarabarnes5118]

“OMG i love your ring where did you get it?” Edward: “It was my moms in the 1800s” “Vintage, so adorable 😍” Edward: “Thanks!” “That is the ugliest effing ring I’ve ever seen”

[@kadenkardell4368]

i hated it too!!! if you look at the extended version of eclipse they go over the ring and they had two options before that were super pretty. Than stephine drew up that ugly shit and they made it for her.

[@izzybdosndbhs9161]

OMG I LOVE THIS 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@constancekay6144]

The ring is okay

[@Tasha22Bella]

I was expecting something seriously dainty and vintage but nope.. That is not it!!!

[@luciacorbalan3142]

Whaaat? I like the ring!!!!!

[@danpaxton3535]

“That’s so raven” playing when Alice saw into the future KILLED ME

[@awolfblood]

Synthetic Rose: *posts* Me: *grabs inhaler from bag in preparation*

[@mcd4370]

I have never read something more relatable even if I don’t have asthma, I am wheezing so hard 🤣🤣🤣 can barely breath

[@amaliarios78]

LITERALLY!!!!!

[@Mambo1061]

“My apologies ma’am” aka the most romantic moment in the entire series

[@corimoon3360]

Nah

[@Mochii_Bunnii]

When I was younger, I was thirsty for Edward, now I'm thirsty for Jasper

[@camilaborges941]

Yikes because I'm thirsty for Carlisle

[@minecraftcow5847]

Omg same

[@sirenz11]

@@camilaborges941 daddy issues tingz✨

[@hannahjeffrey7155]

@@camilaborges941 same

[@jvcelynn]

I’m the exact opposite now LMAO

[@jasminpenaloza1091]

Jasper is just 🥵, prove me wrong.

[@kristynakoci732]

I can't

[@mar.aliashraflo]

Look at Edward. There proved u wrong. Jk everyone has there own opinion

[@Evilfuzzl224]

Jasper is the hottest one in the family 😅 not gonna lie, I always he looked better then Edward 😂

[@hyungwonsusedcondom3687]

Heather Ballard Omfg yes

[@camiladiaz4793]

Also Jasper saying YES MA’M is 🥵🥵

[@dystoniacdiaries]

So Stephenie's trying to tell me that Carlisle, being a billionaire couldn't have loaned a boy $20 for a space heater?? PS The edits had me SCREAMING!!!

[@lkcullen1918]

or those "hand warmer" pouches you can get a pack of for like $1. Get several, stick em in her pockets, socks, hat, gloves and boom she's good.

[@dystoniacdiaries]

@@lkcullen1918 I did a Twilight marathon over the weekend and went on a huge Twitter rant about how Bella should've gotten a job. The things you know when you're older...

[@lkcullen1918]

@@dystoniacdiaries The funny part is that, in the books, she *did* have a job (for a little while, at least). She worked at a sporting goods store, which if I recall correctly is where she got the tent they were staying in lol

[@satanslily]

@@lkcullen1918 yup, she worked there almost all of eclipse and only quit before the fight with victoria I believe. Thats one thing that has always made me angry was how to movies make bella seem less mature and intelligent than she actually is and made her really awkward. She was just quiet and didn't fit in with other teenagers which is why her and Edward got along, because he didn't either.

[@emmaebaldwin]

Dystoniac Diaries she worked at the Newton’s sports store (whatever it was called) throughout New Moon, too. It’s how she paid to fix the motorcycles she took to Jake. Also all the hiking gear were never got to see to find the meadow Edward took her to in the first book/movie. They just cut that out of the movie.. we never saw her hiking with Jake to find the meadow, sadly. Should’ve left that bit in because I had no idea that’s where she saw Laurent until I read the books as an adult.

[@chandalier8996]

“F*ck me, emo boy” is the best way to sum up Bella’s and Edward’s relationship

[@elizabeththompson8511]

I think WE ALL know Rosalie would have decked jasper if given an actual fight scene

[@emilymilham9069]

“Permission from the lord” had me CHOKING ON MY POPCORN MA’AM

[@Oof-uq8fx]

"aw dude he's flirting" Why did this Mark Lee quote get me cackling 💀

[@artsy._.]

DUDE I was looking for someone to point it out,, I didn't wanna be the only one dying over it lol

[@sammy_owo_7357]

Oh my god same i was looking for this comment

[@Unknownmillie137]

"Ooohhhh Check this out check this out Hey buddy Awwn cmon man Aaee-aayy"

[@nenesdumplings]

dude I cackled so hard at all the kpop, Mark Lee just got me dead

[@zanaesimmons9705]

The face Jasper makes after he says “never turn your back on your enemy” is the best thing ever

[@justatransfrog743]

“neva turn yer back on yer enemy“ life lessons with Jasper

[@mikeynolikey9747]

This is gold

[@Chellekathryn]

ECLIPSE HAS THE BEST WIGS OF THE SAGA DONT CHANGE MY MIND (lookin at you daddy jasper)

[@SyntheticRose]

facts!!

[@sweetsyn7708]

Yaes

[@mankosdream6138]

“my apologies, ma’am.” WHEN I TELL YOU MY SEAT GOT SOAKED

[@rachsimone]

This comment i-

[@Ashley-Lopez]

THIS COMMENT IS SUCH A MOOD I STAN

[@lorennguyen2115]

HAJAJJS NO 💀💀💀

[@leafmurkywater4069]

NO

[@katherinefernandez8358]

When I tell you I agree with my ENTIRE BEING, I am not lying a single bit

[@salem7340]

Charlie was most definitely team Alice. I swear he takes her fishing one day and she just absolutely fills the boat with fish

[@erinbathie-moore8478]

I too am Team Alice

[@corimoon3360]

🤢🤮 the cop and the racist with a confederate husband….

[@Butterflylobsterclaw]

THANK YOU i thought the ring was ugly too but everyone was like “waaa its his moms!!!” like,,,,,,,,,, then his dad had bad taste what do you want me to say!!!

[@SyntheticRose]

the sentiment behind the ring is really sweet but like its so gaudy and huge! Bella could do some real damage if she punched someone with it. Lol maybe that's why he chose it haha

[@Butterflylobsterclaw]

Synthetic Rose yes omg i would not be surprised !

[@AlloLlama]

In the book it’s described as “delicate” - the props department missed that clearly

[@darianrose2195]

There's a different version of it out there that looks more like the book description. Idk why they thought the book description meant a modern huge statement ring.

[@monarch3495]

I like the ring but that comment is so funny 😂

[@cabbagecato]

Petititon to make a movie about Alice and Jasper's love story

[@dattrashcan2554]

Camilla Delano yes

[@kelleenbrx6649]

There's a short on it. with Meyer's blessing and Yulin Kuang's Fabulous cinematography kzbin.info/www/bejne/o5SZiaaNptx7jJI

[@annethraxxx]

Petition to rewrite the books so that Jasper is a union spy and is a liberal

[@Autumn-rt8jg]

Or that blonde cousin from alaska, and that long haired guitar player in the last movie

[@anajuliaana6612]

I WANT WATCHED THIS MOVIE WITH ASHLEY GREENE AND JACKSON RATHBONE!!!

[@emmaoftheshire2455]

Edward: “anything it’s yours” Bella asks for something Edward: um no

[@mikeynolikey9747]

Mania!!!!

[@joan-cv4wq]

Yassss fall out boyyyyy

[@v4mp201]

roxanne lim *harry styles activated *

[@goofygoober6211]

*confused pikachu face*

[@ericadebeer2048]

lowkey simping for cowboy jasper. I'm the only one- Okay I'm fine with that.

[@urmom-uu3de]

girl same i ALWAYS liked jasper and then when we see him in eclipse? GAH DAYUM

[@humanthatexists1491]

Omg though same and his accent is amazing

[@ayf449]

He's deffinetly the Arizona ranger with the big iron on his hip.

[@Sacrimony_]

Alice and Jasper's relationship is honestly the cutest thing ever

[@scarlettwitch4365]

Right?!?!

[@theatrekidwithinternetacce704]

Yess

[@eincryptid]

Jasper was like 16 when he joined the Confederate Army. I like to believe he was just young and believed the propaganda because he didn't know any better, but that he understood the full impact of the war after the fact.

[@codybaggett5329]

@Michael Cunningham that's exactly what happened.

[@jaycie2344]

THIS! I actually like the backstory because it adds human flaw. It like he’s always been a “monster” (for lack of a better term) even before he was turned. I like to believe it’s something that motivates him to be better, knowing that he was on the wrong side of history. That was poorly explained I feel like but ✨redemption arc✨

[@daydreams6956]

thank you omg

[@matcha.clouds]

I’m pretty sure they’d like, kill you if you tried to decline. So, it’s not his fault

[@goofygoober6211]

Jake F it matters because we, as an audience, can NOT dismiss him being in the confederate army as something insignificant/unimportant. it’s important to recognize how wrong it was so that we remember to not dismiss it so easily in future movies/impactful media/entertainment that’s so influential on the youth!! your comment is pretty ignorant lol, it’s like saying ‘why does anyone even care that he was a nazi? stupid 12 year olds just watch the movie’

[@useth3forceforgood]

Book Jacob: moody teen who is just trying to cope with being in love and wolfin' out Movie Jacob: r/niceguys

[@saschabeth1852]

idk how long it's been since you read the books but from what I remember he was even worse in them unfortunately

[@useth3forceforgood]

sunlight lol 😆

[@goofygoober6211]

sunlight omg wait are you talking about the movies or the books? cause I just finished reading the first twilight book and I want to move onto New Moon soon but Ion wanna cringe with anger if jake is gonna act like a dick😭😭

[@saschabeth1852]

Carina oh no I’m sorry we’re talking about the books they really do be anger inducing (if you liked the first one tho I think the rest of the series is still worth the read despite Jacob)

[@nayapatreece6156]

sunlight I personally think it was Bella who didn’t give a shit about Jake’s personal decisions. Jacob had a crush on Bella, and she knew this of course and still kept him in an unhappy position. Jacob also knew that Bella didn’t feel the same way, but I felt like Bella should have just left Jacob alone instead of leading him on. In the movie New Moon she literally told Jacob that she didn’t want him to “ stop trying “ ONLY because she wanted to keep him around. Jacob helped by keeping Bella happy which is more than what Edward was doing. Then after she left Jacob to save Edward she’s completely offended because Jacob no longer wanted to talk to her, which is absolutely ridiculous after he spent copious months with her TRYING to make her feel better again after she was deeply depressed. Bella also said in the books plenty of times that she was selfish for keeping Jacob around and putting him in an unhappy position.

[@KarlaAlexia]

Technically Alice didnt keep the car she stole she just made Edward buy her the exact same one for saving him😂we love a queen

[@corimoon3360]

Y’all stan a racist confederate-loving “queen” like it’s cute…

[@janie3501]

There’s something about Jacob’s voice that I just cannot take seriously....

[@lenora-yoder]

I cannot unsee sharkboy

[@savvyloveshercat7053]

@@lenora-yoder same

[@savvyloveshercat7053]

I told my dad he was sharkboys actor the other day and ny dad said now he cant take jacob seriously

[@thatoberverguy1]

It’s called bad acting

[@elle2967]

Lenora Yoder SAME

[@gwentaylor6830]

"it's good that they're getting some bonding time before jake becomes his son in law" I nearly spit out my drink

[@Savikelle]

I had a massive crush on Edward for years. As an adult that's still there because Robert Pattinson, but shit do I notice Jasper now 😳

[@eternalypissed]

I notice Carlisle now. I do have a thing for DILFs and hot doctors tho LOL.

[@Savikelle]

@@eternalypissed yo same, Carlisle is 🤤😍

[@eternalypissed]

@@Savikelle Carlisle is daddy AF

[@Savikelle]

@@eternalypissed 100%

[@skyhope5105]

Lol i never crushed on any of these characters. And the sexual tention in the movies is high. OOF The doc is my choice but still feeling like no.

[@isabellab-c5351]

The scene of Bella and her dad having "The Talk" was my favourite scene out of all movies. To me, it was like the only time that Bella really showed any character, and it was actually pretty funny to me.

[@journeyhavard307]

HOW DOES A VAMPIRE EVEN GET IT UP THEIR BLOOD ISNT RUNNING

[@sierra_2016]

EggsMcMuffin They’re skin feels like stone, I think it’s always hard lol

[@xgise]

Poison is meant to be like a catch-all fluid, including replacing blood in erections

[@judithmurray8220]

@@xgise You mean their venom?

[@xgise]

@@judithmurray8220 yes, that. I didn't read the books in english so I misuse the words sometimes

[@theSkin_of_a_Killer_Bella]

Hold up, so they shootin venom now? *I-*

[@starfusion617]

The “hey” “how you doin’?” part with Jake in the tent had me CRYING😂😂

[@oliviabook1111]

girl SAMEEEE

[@patiencewallace8453]

That was the best part 😂

[@happinessforeverandalways]

i’m glad i’m not the only one who pretends that Jasper was in the Union army instead

[@alloffor]

@Christian Gaines Same, idk why people are so pressed. I might not be the right person to judge American history, being Polish myself, but he was literally born into that time. It shaped him, he was manipulated by Maria after his turning, but knew better and changed for the better.

[@tastelesscakes]

iwannadie, y tú? Tbh the union army wasn’t that much better 😭 a lot of them didn’t mind slavery

[@ninaondrakova4350]

Lovely Cryptid Lovely Cryptid idk if this is supposed to be a joke and if it is, then I'm sorry for not getting it. I don't think that's being racist lol. It just belongs to the story - Cullens don't like the tribe because they're natural enemies, same goes the other way. I suppose Meyer made vampires pale and white because she just imagined them like that when writing the book. I think it really doesn't have anything to do with racism

[@sera6128]

Lovely Cryptid Lol, I remember vampires are usually described with pale skin regardless and Bella finds that attractive and describes it as beautiful. Also because the wolves and vampires and really on good terms with each other so no wonder that the Cullens don’t like them.

[@SyntheticRose]

@Christian Gaines This was never about historical accuracy, no one is ignoring history, no one is pretending that the confederate army doesn't exist I have no clue where you got that from. In the video I specifically said that I was ignoring Stephanie's CHOICE to make Jasper a confederate soldier. I did not say that I was ignoring the entire existence of the confederate army. Also the people who refuse to believe in or acknowledge the holocaust are typically nazi supporters. You do understand that people hate nazi's BECAUSE of the holocaust right? So why would anyone who hates nazi's ever choose to ignore that the holocaust happened? So no, ignoring the confederacy (literally traitors and racists) and ignoring the genocide of millions of jewish people is not at all the same thing. One last point on the erroneous historical accuracy thing, many southerners did defect and join the union so yes it is historically accurate to say that a texan could've joined the union. I've said it before to another commentator but the fact that Jasper is a confederate soldier does not have to be a bad thing. In fact it would make sense if every Cullen was racist considering they are all white people who lived during very racist time periods. However, Stephanie Meyer should have then showed that they then educated themselves against their racist beliefs and have them grow and not be so small minded. She did not do this. So no it's not part of his character development since Meyer literally wrote NOTHING about him becoming less racist. From what little of his back story there is it is clear that he can have the same character arc even if he was a union soldier. He does not need to be a confederate for Maria to turn him. He does not need to be a confederate for him to kill newborns only to later see how wrong it is and run away from Maria. He could've done all of that as a union soldier. But Stephanie chose to make him a high ranking member of the confederate army.

[@bebesimmons5547]

No one: Edward: *gives Bella ring* Bella: Synthetic rose: "oof girl i can't, its so ugly"

[@crimson_auror]

Why does everyone clown Edward for wanting to wait until marriage? Like is that so unheard of nowadays? Give the man a rest

[@kraziiXIII]

Because sexual chemistry is important and does actively factor into how the relationship works? Sex can and does break people up regardless of their marital status. Like some people like sex and other people don't (stan for ace folk and folks who can't becuase of medical reasons), because of a variety of reasons, but not knowing until you sign a legal contract, where there are multiple legal implications, seems backwards. Like for real people, there is money, time and effort put into a wedding, combining assets and divorce proceedings. Hisotrically, marriage is mainly about money, controlling women, and insuring an heir be born, not about love. To each their own and all, but waiting till marriage is an antiquated tradition at this point in time. If you wanna wait for whatever reason (religion, sharing the loss of virginity together, arranged marriage), good on you but know what you may be getting into.

[@yippehanako]

@@kraziiXIII wouldn't you know if you have any interest in having sex or not, though? I knew that I had the desire to before I actually did so wouldn't an ace person be opposite?

[@kraziiXIII]

@@yippehanako There are a variety of factors that influence sexual and romantic desire. Medications that killed my libido led me to thinking I was grey asexual because I'd been on them for the entirety of puberty and several years down the line. It wasn't until I got off those meds suddenly that I realized I felt sexual attraction. I was 21 by then. Some folks don't even have the words to describe what they feel towards sex until they are much much older and already married. Sex is so often expected in society that you are told things like "you just havent met the one yet" "did you try foreplay" "maybe you have a hormone issue" "maybe your partner is just bad in bed" "wtf is wrong with you". "Maybe you're just a late bloomer" Some folks who are sex replused due to trauma can feel still sexual attraction if they aren't ace. Some ace people have sex because they want closeness to their partners or to have children. Asexuality is a spectrum and not all people who are ace realize it until much later in life. Some people know from an early age. It is harder to determine why you have a lack of sexual desire than it is when you determine you have sexual desire.

[@Jaybirdjinx]

I do believe that sexual chemistry can be important but I also believe the gap can be closed by honest communication and a willingness to explore. But to each their own, you make decisions on how your relationship goes and what are your needs. If you can and really want to wait, wait. If you want to have sex before, have it. Edward wants to wait and Bella's ok with that, they at least already have listening part down which is incredibly important. I also really like the subversion that *Edward* is the one that wants to wait and Bella could care less but is still willing to because she loves her vampire boy. I also don't like the clowning on Edward because it shows how people are biased towards dude's being virgins which is antiquated in its own right. I don't think its ok to make fun of somebody's experience or lack of in general. Essay over ':/

[@douloureux.]

YES it is

[@小美-c7q]

Alice didn't keep the porsche that she stole. In the book (newmoon) Edward said that he would give alice a yellow porsche as a gift. And in eclipse he told alice to take Bella hostage for a couple of days while he hunted. And he rewarded her the porsche

[@prioskasingh5322]

Thank you so much. I really wanted someone to say that

[@nokomisnoonan2445]

yeah i was about to say something about that-

[@rebecccccaaaaaaa]

Plus she stole the Porsche in ITALY like how would they get it to Washington

[@sugawarasricebowl7886]

"Does he makeout with your beanies often??" Bruh I'm deaad

[@filmsbylis]

i thought totally the same the 10th time i saw that escene lmaooo

[@sugawarasricebowl7886]

@@filmsbylis lmaooo

[@nicolemalpicar]

For me it's finding out the actors that played Alice and Jasper liked eachother but never told eachother and found out after she was already engaged to another guy. 🥴

[@haneulchoi2764]

Is this real?

[@Bleachshugo]

This is a thing?? This was real?

[@KeiLuxe_]

@@Bleachshugo yeah it's really its really so sad that they didn't get a chance to confess to each other.

[@ghost_ai4125]

so fricking saaaddd damn

[@jacquelynroe9036]

Whaaat?! That makes me so sad!

[@ellafoster1421]

I love Alice and Jasper's "fight" scene.

[@ckvids7789]

Lmao

[@ringarden3080]

Thats literally what i want in a relationship they are adorable

[@anajuliaana6612]

I WANT THEY TO PLACE THE OTHERS COUPLES

[@Eponine_Sandon]

That fight scene made me bisexual

[@rubygracemoseley8144]

I call it the “Flirt Fight Scene”

[@akjaa6256]

Bella: *Is literally dying from hypotermia* Edward and Jacob: I will do something, that's called a *pro* move

[@brianaliu3251]

HEART EYES AT MY APOLOGIES MA’AM also you’re getting source material from the books themselves now? Got ourselves a gentleman and a sCHoLaR

[@jennjenn3134]

We don't deserve Synthetic Rose 😩👏

[@gingahsnixx]

is that a quote from theater class 😳

[@minlvvs]

2:07 ''ah dude he's flirting~'' mark sweety, what are u doing here? lmao

[@ashleyfaith532]

“excuse me sir this is a wendy’s please stop” TOOK ME OUT I died

[@mill-e9771]

Just "its strictly for sleeping, gotta save room for jesus" is the best line ever

[@HelloThere-ur7jm]

Wait where is that??

[@mill-e9771]

@@HelloThere-ur7jm 5:15

[@tanisha._b9033]

istg Bella was a 100% awake when Edward and Jacob were having that whole convo

[@calliahehehe5051]

IKR

[@bigbingus9978]

she basically was in the books 😭😭

[@sharontapatuetoa480]

Jasper: don’t loose focus Also Jasper: looses focus wit Alice (Their relationship is so cute!!)

[@corimoon3360]

Gross 🤢 I don’t support racists

[@rachelreii5952]

Nothing can throw me off my game Alice just existing Alice throwing him off

[@mtn.alia_]

“ah dude he’s flirting”I’m dead💀and all of a sudden you hear mark talking

[@kenyasiamccain8997]

Lol at that moment I was like how did Mark get here 😲

[@mtn.alia_]

Kenyasia McCain hahah I swear

[@katebandy3085]

this has no business being this funny, I haven't been in the fandom for 3 years and I am ROLLING

[@sofi465]

THE AHS THEME SONG WHEN JASPER TOLD BELLA HE WAS IN THE CONFEDERATE ARMY LMFAOO

[@julianneboleyn]

Considering Jasper describes his early life (both human and after) as hateful, angry, full of death, etc. I got the impression that the fact that he was a Confederate soldier was supposed to emphasize the change from what he was raised with and the new, peaceful life he had gained with Alice and the Cullens.

[@Ty-mu7gl]

5:18 "They have to leave room for Jesus" OK THAT SENT ME OUT

[@lExN34]

Times I wish vampires could go to heaven......Edward would be there for sure😏

[@juliee4868]

2:08 it took me a second to realize that's not actually part of the movie😂😂 mark really goes around life giving us these perfect lines

[@SyntheticRose]

his mind is too powerful lol

[@awolfblood]

For real tho lol

[@shawol5253]

Haha I was like Mark??

[@Unknownmillie137]

Shawol525 * same

[@KL-hr2kj]

"The Confederate army" Oh I see, a Union spy training and "fighting" with the Confederate army, that's a good one, nice one-

[@codybaggett5329]

No. Just one of the many young boys lied to and tricked by the richest and most powerful southern men, into fighting an absurd war for a wrong cause.

[@camilaspadaro]

@@codybaggett5329 it was a joke

[@bristim9847]

"eclipse is the powerhouse of cell" Meanwhile mitochondria: am I a joke to you?

[@Jastmoor]

Let's just be honest... Those edits are more entertaining then the actual movies😂

[@alondrarj6640]

I'm watching the movie and thinking "this is too serious, where are the memes?"

[@elenacabigas9937]

True though hahah

[@vianeysoto6806]

Yas-

[@aminaosman21]

Yesssss

[@nicolems]

no

[@Crabbypattty]

The voice effect on “I’m a virgin” sent me🤣🤣

[@Jk-rg4zd]

6:13 "oh girl, that's ugly" Me : what do you expect from a 104 year-old old school vampire. He's not modern, he's ancient lol.

[@_jules_785]

He’s and I quote ‘old school’

[@galaxy7525]

My aunt has a ring like that, but with black jewels ........ it still ugly

[@ch3rryy_juice]

bro, I showed my friend twilight for the first time and the way she described Jacob was and I quote "A whiny puppy who lost his favorite toy" the toy is a metaphor for Bella.

[@marina.gansey]

this is the only thing keeping me sane right now, honestly

[@camiladiaz4793]

I think the fandom came back for better and to not go insane

[@cutie3i4]

*I wasn’t asking for permission* “He seems to be doing that a lot recently” I AM DYING OF LAUGHTER.

[@christinem4016]

“Bella is turning into a popsicle and Edward is about to lose it.” 💀💀💀💀

[@jamie.lynn004]

Rosalie was so robbed of screen time during the fight.💀

[@claire-yn2zi]

AND THERES MARK "he's flirting!" ...and talking to a squirrel

[@joelmalacara80]

When she leaves music titles as END credits. So we don’t STRUGGLE. Pop off sis✨✨✨❤️❤️❤️

[@Ana-lw6lr]

I died at Mark's ah dude he's flirting 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@SodaliteSushi]

Girl I couldn’t breathe💀

[@brittanyrosie986]

Me too

[@nikenorman3558]

And that clip after thoooo, was lowkey expecting to see a squirrel pop up🤣🤣

[@vfalcon7864]

Me tooooo

[@athena9836]

I'm wheezinggggg🤣🤣🤣

[@angiekelley9038]

Y'all crying over Jasper being a Confederate while I'm just sitting over here like, "Y'all didn't say a word about Bill from True Blood being a Confederate."

[@shantelgoated]

Nor Damon Salvatore from Vampire Diaries. 💀

[@riskiersneeze]

@@shantelgoated did you no that the actor of Rosalie and the actor of Damon got married?

[@-AnNz-]

EXACTLY

[@Angelnychole]

I think the reason everyone loses their shit over jasper being a confederate is because SM didn’t give too much background nor did she give us any character development or more insight into the ‘side’ characters like jasper. Damon from Tvd deserted because he didn’t believe in what they were fighting for plus Damon was the main character of his show, same with Bill though I didn’t watch true blood that often so i don’t really know his story.

[@corimoon3360]

The real question is why are you deflecting and trying to defend a confederate? 🤡

[@christinem4016]

Omg “I’m a virgo!!” Jenna Marbles has entered the chat

[@megatrongriffin98]

“what’s not clickin? WHAT’S NOT CLICKIN?!” IM CRYING

[@daeira328]

Last time I was this early Jacob was still a sweetheart

[@katiebayliss9887]

Thinking back, was he ever

[@ariadnedealmeida8492]

6:16 Robert looks so teary in this scene because of the lenses that it gives the idea that Edward would literally cry a river if Bella said no again

[@lizforshee2364]

jasper's "my apologies ma'am :)

[@Minxyxxxx]

Edward really waited for 110 years to get married 😂

[@Minxyxxxx]

OMG THANK YOU FOR LIKING BC TWILIGHT IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE AND I WATCH ALL OF THE MOVIES and I’m watching them again, I’m watching breaking dawn part 1. I just youre so funny and my dad got mad because he was sleeping and I was dying lol 😂

[@repulsethemonkey1396]

And possibly waited 110 years to get laid

[@user-tg7cn5ms2g]

I think the whole “being a vampire” thing complicated things a little bit loll

[@aiesecvideos6238]

Repulsethemonkey maybe he slept with another vampire

[@user-cj1sg3vs3o]

That brings us to realise that Bella is 18 and Edward 110 years, bitch WTF

[@Cazam217]

Tbh, I thinm watching those "sex" scenes, and the scenes that came close were the reason I'm asexual ...

[@azula9830]

omg same

[@amyturner2034]

I’m pretty sure that’s also why Kristen Stewart is a lesbian lol.

[@azula9830]

@@amyturner2034 for real. Especially the pregnant scenes. I always knew she was lesbian in twilight even tho I don't know much about her. I think the pregnancy scenes are traumatizing

[@Mel-lb3zo]

I remember being like damn why do y'all wanna crawl on each other bones so badly, I don't see the appeal like just watch a movie or soemthing? geez this ain't normal 😃 it's too much and now I know I'm asexual so hey ho😎🤌🏳️‍🌈✨

[@libragoddess98287]

@@amyturner2034 i believe she's bisexual

[@isabellagarcia1655]

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO ALSO PRETENDS JASPER WAS A UNION SOLDIER

[@kaitlyndavis6074]

The Confederacy wasn't racist

[@lunasmith9367]

Kaitlyn Davis am I being whooshed? 😭 please don’t tell me the confederates weren’t racist part of what they were fighting for was literally the right to own slaves

[@isabellagarcia1655]

Luna Smith ha name kaitlyn of course she’d try to defend the confederates

[@kaitlyndavis6074]

@@lunasmith9367 Union was racist too tho. I'm saying it's not just the Confederacy that was racist. U.S. Grant (The Union General) was also a racist against Jews and other nationalities. I'm from New York so please feel free to try and call me a Southern Hick

[@kaitlyndavis6074]

@@isabellagarcia1655 damn with a name like Taegi of course you're a misinformed idiot

[@megabrain96]

7:23 “This scene is so dark” Things we used to say before we had to suffer through Game of Thrones S8

[@Xokatiesinsane]

MOOOOOD

[@thisnightsrevels9605]

2:43 Jasper: "I was confederate" Bella: "You were confederate??" Jasper: "I got better"

[@leenaleewitch3731]

But lots of cases confederate soldiers were conscripted so..

[@Ma-pm1wq]

6:30 most unexcited and unconvincing yes to a proposal ever.