Stopping Antidepressants after 2 Decades | An interview with Trudy S.

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[@michelleharisson664]

I was escaping an abusive marriage and from one antidepressant I ended up being on a cocktail of drugs I know now was a chemical lobotomy. I had no history of mental illness but ended up labelled and disabled. I haven't worked for 30 years, my children lost a present mother. It was 2014 when a doctor screamed at me you're nothing but a benzo addict I went home and looked up what a benzo was. Finally off all medication after years of tapering without guidance. My entire adult life was stolen.

[@Slidehhy]

Do you feel better now since off ?

[@michelleharisson2270]

Despite issues with memory and pain I feel like myself again if that makes sense. Its hard not to be angry though. I would recommend tapering slowly, I started too fast.

[@johnnyecoman9121]

You have every right to be angry.

[@catherinemazzie4632]

I’m so sorry, I can relate. I didn’t know these meds were addictive as well. I once told a dr , after being told, I was addicted to Xanax, that I am not mentally addicted, but physically I am. I said I’m dependent on them because of the drastic anxiety and panic attacks I get I notice they close depression, and I actually hate taking them. He actually apologized and said I was right. That’s unusual, but the past 20 years have been health for me as well, and I could totally relate. I lost friends and family because of what these meds did to me and now people don’t remember the old me it really hurts. I’m disabled as well and I got it because of depression, but in my case, I have neurological problems that I ignored, and that were never addressed by any of the doctors turns out I was having strokes, seizures, and eventually I was diagnosed with early onset vascular dementia, and dementia with Lewy bodies. These medication’s magnified my symptoms, and also made me very hyper and agitated. Many people still don’t understand this I belong to a community of people with dementia and I don’t think they understand it but they’re on very low doses I was we started at a high dose right now I’m on mirtazapine and I tapered from 30 mg down to 22 1/Half and I want to taper again, but I’m terrified and I don’t know if I’m gonna get the old me back. My children where teenagers from all of this started there came a time where I refuse medication and they were times I was hospitalized, and they lied to me about the medicine they were giving me , these were medication’s that actually made me appear to be bipolar. I wasn’t like this before these medicines and I reacted immediately to the first dose but I was told to give it time. I thought you could stop them when you didn’t need them anymore I had to work and I was crying all the time turns out I had a stroke and I would’ve seen it in someone else, but didn’t say to myself .

[@catherinemazzie4632]

At the time I was I started taking Paxil, the first one was approximately four weeks before my ex cheated on me and I was in an abusive relationship anyway and I noticed my reaction was different than what I normally would’ve done. Unfortunately, because of that everybody thought that’s why I was falling apart, but hindsight always 2020 and I now know it was the medication’s. I felt great when I first saw them out but as time went on, I felt apathy for the first time and didn’t know what it was, because it was something I never felt before , I lost my job and I believe it’s because of these medicines. I wasn’t sleeping, eating or functioning well enough to even keep my job. I ended up losing that it was a difficult journey, and I empathize with you.

[@davidhoratiu9901]

The best doctor from entire world!!!

[@SylvieBouldin]

This happened to me, too. From watching your podcasts I now realize that I was in a chemical lobotomy on antidepressants for 9 months after having my brain pummeled for several months on antipsychotics that landed me in the psych ward for the first time in my life! I lay on my bed for 9 months, didn't wash my sheets for 5 months, didn't care if I stank, only got up to go to the bathroom or eat. God only knows how I found my way out of the spellbinding, but I did. That's when I got off the Frankenmeds.

[@yoga_iaini]

frankenmeds! 😅

[@paulettesgoo]

When I came off xanax (used from about 1988 - 2013, heaviest the last 4 years), I tried to taper myself, and after about a month, I got disgusted and just quit. I did suffer terribly. Something that helped: the carnivore/keto diet, lots of liver, meat, eggs, salmon, etc. Plus supplements for the brain. After a year, I began to sleep a little bit. After about 2 years, one night I slept like a normal person and woke up and realized that it was me again!!! Now, I still have tinnitus and poor memory and a few other issues, but if I can do it and get better at age 65, you can too!!!!

[@juliehorsley48]

That took amazing courage and yes, I eat mostly an animal based diet and have found it healing for mind and body.

[@barbarabrown3381]

I was on clonapin for 20 years and I began to worry that one day I would be unable to find a dr. who would give it to me. And I knew I was addicted. I took a year to wean off. That was 2 years ago. It all went well. I am so glad people are getting your help. ❤

[@antoniovespa5297]

How did you taper of klonopin go? Were you functional? Severe symptoms?

[@MakingItHappenMWC]

What was your daily dosage? And how did you taper?

[@MakingItHappenMWC]

@@antoniovespa5297 I'm coming off 3mg daily of Klonopin. 7 years of use. I'm not down to .25mg daily. Taken 3 years to taper down from 3mg. It's been a shit show, but you have your good days, bad days. I'm just gonna push through. Any time I get any anxiety or panic or dizziness or weird feelings, I go sit in the tub, fill it with hot water and just relax. That usually flushes it out and I'm relaxed again.

[@Pattycakes-hc4pm]

@@antoniovespa5297 If shes honest she will say that this is irreversible damage and she is not really function and anxiety is still her best friend.

[@maaijbasson]

Absolutely agree!

[@wandarask8444]

.My Husband had a kidney, stone went to hospital came home few hrs later in two days it passed it was painful, felt great once passed, he went to Doctor told doctor oh you need to see this specialist, even the hospital rang with in hour you need to see this doctor that doctor blah blah when he stated No I'm fine they found it difficult when said no. I can guarantee he would be on this medication that medication and locked into the system, that would make him more sick, that was 2 years again his fine. Look after yourself people. Love your episodes From Australia.

[@barbarabrown3381]

Also I never relapsed during the taper. I was totally committed to making it. Then I did not keep any in the house . I was glad I did that because I might have relapsed a few years later. It might be easier than you think. Take it slow and know you will do it. Love to you.

[@kathryndohring5481]

I love this woman! Her honesty and willingness to share her most private thoughts is so brave. She has amazing strength and is an amazing speaker. I want to hear more of her talking and her recovery process and the steps she has taken to get where she is. She’s an amazing human! THANK YOU SO MUCH TRUDY!!!

[@Leighla2008]

Love Trudy! She’s very relatable and I can empathize with the emotional blunting that occurs and interferes with your relationships with your spouse and children. Lucky for me, my kids were school aged by the time a psychiatrist fooled me into SSRIs and benzos, but I still lost so many years being a fully present mom and it’s heartbreaking to live with now that they’re nearly grown.

[@Hanna_Hoh]

When I was 20 back in the 1990s, I was offered Prozac from my gynecologist for PMS. I remember seeing a flier in his office and I asked him about it. My roommate was taking it and I wondered what it was like. I didn’t think I had a bad problem with PMS, I just wanted to try the drug because my roommate talked about it all the time. I had no clue how dangerous it could be. I took it for a few days and noticed that all my emotions were flat. Everything was blah, so I stopped taking it. Just relating how irresponsible and immature my thinking was around these medications when I was young. The doctor should have talked to me more and explained the risks. Instead, he said sure, I could try it.

[@philipbrown2225]

love your channel. may you never be cancelled

[@pjjmsn]

Fantastic conversation! Thank you Joseph and Trudy! The thread that goes through all the subjects you touched on, including whether emotional numbing is a good thing, and the idea that informed consent might be bad, lest it discourage the patient from taking the drugs, is as follows: The pharmaceutical companies want to sell as much product as possible and push any narrative that sells product and poo poo anything that might put on the brakes.

[@user-bq7tc2xw6z]

On meds 40+ yrs...why so long? BRAIN FOG....i couldn't see what they were doing to me.. Fibromyalgia pain ...all the standard meds +.... FINALLY...Sick and tired of being sick and tired. REALITY SLAP YES. I was SO DONE. They made me suicidal repeatedly. SHOCKING. It was get off or die. 5 yrs off it's been bizarre...still struggling. I could be the poster child for LOST POTENTIAL.

[@dorothyd7929]

Same here. Have upcoming appt with PCP. Ready to begin with a very slow taper.

[@catherinemazzie4632]

I became suicidal three years after starting Paxil, but prior that I became severely depressed, agitated, and hyper, not to mention extremely anxious. When you tell the doctor sister other people, they say that just happens in younger people, and nothing can be further from the truth, if they just asked questions, they would’ve realized my problem is neurological, but I was so ignorant that I thought psychiatrist would look for a diagnosis that wasn’t psychiatric if it was a psychiatric component to what was going on.

[@sparrowbarnesmusic5864]

Over 44 years for me and similar story. Have done a slow taper and have only got 3 weeks until lm completely of the meds. I was put on so many meds at 17. Im now 63. Being off the drugs has surprisingly increased my hearing. I never expected that.

[@wandarask8444]

@@sparrowbarnesmusic5864 Sparrow, since 17, Wooh good on you for making the change. From Australia

[@Pattycakes-hc4pm]

@@sparrowbarnesmusic5864 that is from the damage caused by the nerves in the ear it is called Hyperacusis. And the anxiety does not go away if you had anxiety before you began your taper.

[@cynthiawagstaff2185]

scariest words….”just take the pill”

[@TheDavveponken]

that's how they get you. classic snake oil salesmen. All they are really, the white coat doesn't mean shit

[@elizabethabbott2982]

It is more than sad that the professionals in whom we put our trust ... dont have the full picture an it almost seems as if the patients must teach the professionals at this point; I cannot blame the pharmaceutical companies as they are providing a product but it is up to the docs to see it is administered safely; that the patient does not become addicted; that dosages are right for each individual and above all that they do not become dependent and be on them for year after year... perhaps the pharmaceutical companies could sponsor seminars where all this kind of thing can be discussed because at the moment it seems the docs just latch onto the idea that this or that med is essential; not looking at for instance the person who is taking them... do they have any life style habits like drinking that would impact with the meds; it is just so much more complex than just taking a pill and all will be well. I have read Dr. Breggin as well; he is so knowledgeable.

[@wawabbit]

I blame pharma and "medicine." It's all a grift.

[@kimlec3592]

​@@wawabbitUnfortunately I believe it is all bull. Medicating emotional distress is big business.😢

[@user-wb2yv7ll9d]

This is such an important conversation. I learned a lot. Trudy has so much valuable lived experience and when Dr. Josef opened up about his challenges that was eye opening for me. ❤

[@kristaharmon7584]

Listening to this helpful podcast while drinking decaf. I’m thankful for Dr. Josef.

[@GinaMFlorida]

It took me 35 yrs to wake up. I was like her, thinking a pill fixed everything. Adding Clonazepam & prescribing for over 11 yrs, I'm now tapering. My depression lifted. Prozac was really bad for me. I told my Dr that Dr Phil had a show about it. My Dr said well he isn't really a Dr. He said it would be best. Landed me in a behavioral center for a week. Talk about coming out of your comfort zone.

[@DK-tq3fy]

I just stopped them after 3 decades. It has been hadd but also such a life xhanging experience. Still healing of course but am really healing now.

[@jonnie135]

Thanks for sharing with all of us❤ I’m aware I need to start tapering, but I’m scared because I know how hard it might be to get through.

[@UnknownHumanOnline]

Slow taper

[@sparrowbarnesmusic5864]

Ive done it after over 44 years on pills. Do it very slow over a period of 2 years or more. Listen to your body as u do it and go as fast or slow as your body allows. Its very difficult to do but u can do it. U will be amazed at the difference in how u will become and be like. Im right at the end of my pill taper. In 3 weeks time i will be totally of drugs. Its been a long slow taper. Im almost there after 2 years of tapering. Just remember do it very very slow so your body can adjust to it or it wont work.

[@Swan-rb4yg]

​@@sparrowbarnesmusic5864 I wish you could see this and answer how a person will be different. That's why I'm wondering if it's worth it to go through all that. The me I remember before benzos was a complete and total wreck.

[@afol4016]

Believe me, to get your life back you must do it. It may be very rough but you will get yourself back. Take courage.

[@yoga_iaini]

hyperbolic tapering: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f4DGaadndpyMickfeature=shared kzbin.info/www/bejne/rWSmhpyJntGXm80feature=shared

[@pattaylor7298]

A family member was put on Lamictal, Abilify, Buspirone and Vivance. It has been heartbreaking seeing how robotic and cognitive impaired they reduce an active and creative person. Criminal !

[@taperclinic]

I’m sorry to hear this, I am seeing polypharmacy as the norm instead of the exception at younger and younger ages, it is awful

[@yoga_iaini]

29:45 so important to talk about how being on psycoactive drugs for years, specially during the most formative ones, blocks the natural brain development, emotionally and cognitively. 31:18 I can relate to it. I decided to take antidepressants and anxiolytics because I thought, and I was told by medical professionals, this would make therapy easier or more effective, but it was not the case at all. I can understand the use of psycoactive drugs for short periods of time, in crisis, but to extend their use thinking this helps or boosts the therapeutic process it's wrong, at which point the patient has lost the ability to notice it, the self-awareness is completely gone, and it's difficult to escape from the rabbit hole. 1:01:54 It's not easy to be aware of the extent one has been numbed by the medication until tapering off them and recover from the withdrawal.

[@sonur5080]

Yup it is like doing emotional lobomoty for teenagers and their brains are still developing!

[@maaijbasson]

COVID, Started questioning all drugs. Got anxious when I realised, what would happen if I don't have acces to my meds. I use to get withdrawal symptoms hours after not taking SNRI. (15 years of adding and adding more drugs) My 3rd year of tapering. I don't mention it to any dr's anymore as they get really mad. 15 years of snri, moodstabilizeer, anxiety benzodiazepine, sleeping benzodiazepine methylphenidate and codeine! Thanks you Jesus and my family are my biggest help. Im almost done!

[@nataliemiles4430]

I think after harm done to me after PPIs, then after 14 years of SSRI, off and on. Then came klonopin after a neck injury. And my SSRI didn’t work anymore, then I got my gut health in check and got serotonin syndrome. It just compounded and compounded until I didn’t want any meds, at all. I hate being hypothyroid because it means a pill. All these 14 years I thought I was bipolar, MDD, etc. I’m tapering klonopin right now, been of SSRI for a year and I’m actually less depressed right now. Imagine that.

[@wawabbit]

❤

[@pjjmsn]

The chemical imbalance idea goes along with the woke idea that we are always perfect exactly the way we are, The only problems we can have are a chemical imbalance, or a lack of self-esteem, neither one of which is our fault. The former is nature's fault and the latter is the fault of other people. Maturity and character development are not a thing in that model. Our tools are limited to taking chemicals, blaming others, and severing relationships which we deem insufficiently affiriming of our "perfectness".

[@Jonathan-Pilkington]

Woke idea? Is there anything you dont blame on wokeness these days?

[@pjjmsn]

@@Jonathan-Pilkington Yes, there are things that I don't blame on wokness. However the "you are perfect the way you are" theory does appear to be subscribed to by the woke crowd, whereas those who are non-woke appear to subscribe to the "personal responsibility" theory.

[@Jonathan-Pilkington]

Are you suggesting woke people dont take medicine for mental health issues because they think they are perfect the way they are? @@pjjmsn

[@catherinemazzie4632]

Psychiatry is not an exact science. I was told I had a problem with my serotonin, but my gut said it was dopamine. Years later, I realize I was right about that, but I never spoke up. Then I only told them that the medication‘s were causing this hyperactivity and agitation, but they didn’t believe me even though they saw me without medicine and on medicine and the extreme personality changes how can they honestly tell us we have a Serotonin shortage when they can’t test for that? I have serotonin syndrome now and there’s some meds that I really need that I can’t take because of it, I don’t understand it because I’m on mirtazapine now I wish I listen to my gut instinct and ran from all of them

[@annberlin5811]

Not to mention if you dont go along with others idea that we are the problem

[@Thatsbannanas-d8c]

I found myself reading a book about POW’s I was at war. In my own living room. Something was off.

[@Jess-1095]

Hello! Thank you for making this video. My story began this year March: I went into a temporary psychosis/mania from smoking weed. And was put into a mental health clinic where i was told i had bipolar. I was told i need medication and later injected with abilify and told i need to be on it for years. May, I noticed i no longer had feelings/emotions, and i knew something was wrong. June, i was told to take another shot and i decided to take the oral route instead. July, i did research and i decided on my own to get a new psychiatrist, told him my story and he allowed me to taper off the abilify. August, I've been over a month drug free. I am still concerned about my emotions/feelings/thinking.

[@pjjmsn]

Smart move getting another psychiatrist. I will mention that cannabis , even very small doses make me less emotionally stable so I am attempting to completely cut it out of my life.

[@catherinemazzie4632]

Abilify was the worst for me. I’m embarrassed at how I was then. Took a few years to recover and I believe I’m still recovering

[@Jess-1095]

@@catherinemazzie4632 how long were you on them? And what were you experiencing?

[@user-wb2yv7ll9d]

I would also make sure to stay away from weed. Wishing you all the best, you'll make it because it sounds like you caught this early enough.

[@pjjmsn]

@@user-wb2yv7ll9d I went on weed because when I researched it on google, it basically said it was, if not a cure, at least "good" for everything. It seemed like the best thing since mothers milk. There is so much dishonesty and corruption in the drug industry when there are profits to be made. It is disgusting. After watching a Huberman podcast on cannabis, I have since come to understand that it is not good for you and that the longer you stay on it the more depressed you get, among other problems. And psychosis is a huge problem too, which can lead to violence. Pot causes psychosis amd psychosis often leads to violence. If you look into many of the horrific acts of violence that happen, very often the person is a heavy cannabis user. Surprisingly often.

[@EmerMullen]

My wake up moment came when I read RD Laing's Sanity Madness and the Family. I got really angry. I got into meditation to deal with the anger. Twenty years later I still take medication and I still meditate. Life isn't perfect but I'm OK.

[@kassi4837]

Yeah the risks of taking meds are just as important to know as the risks of not taking meds. Even if meds work for a person and they don’t regret it, they need to know the dark side of them. People taking meds could hurt someone by recommending them to others in whom the meds would do more harm than good for. So what are we supposed to do? Not talk about the different experiences ? That’s not science.

[@pjjmsn]

I agree. And even if a chemical appears to help in the short term, that absolutely does not mean that it will necessarily be helping 6 months or a year down the road. These chemicals appear to be much more risky the longer someone is on them, and their short-term effect on the brain is usually not indicative of their long-term effect.

[@rdallas81]

Must always be a risk to reward perspective. There is no such thing as a medication or drug that does something negative for every positive and more often there are multiple negative effects per 1 positive.

[@Michelle-zz7no]

If you have seasonal depression (I do starting at age 13), and it’s due to winter or lack of sunlight try light therapy! It’s a game changer!! And it’s very affordable! You can buy a light therapy lamp for under $50.

[@barbarabrown3381]

I was functional and at 74 I am retired. I tapered a small amount every 2 weeks but I did not decrease again until I felt much better. Advice I got that helped was to take "as needed" I smoke a lot of pot. I wish you well. Take 2 years if you need to. I am off now for two years with no relapses. I wish you well.

[@jimwillmott6050]

Absolutely psychoactive cocktails result in emotional blindness. Trudy nails it with memories of how it felt but memories devoid of present feeling of emotions. Personally I’m only actually feeling during occasional windows after tapering off long term use of an SNRI, trazadone and amphetamine as well as caffeine and nicotine. Having a feeling is quite a surprise.

[@virgieden]

I am in tolerance a word I never heard of or what getting off of a benzo was all about. No informed consent!! I had a chemical inbalance??imbalance???

[@barbarabrown3381]

I was on 1 to 2 mg a day. I think I did 1/4 less on 2 week increments with the rule of don't taper again until I feel stable. Other great advice was to take "as needed." And not to take it at the same time every day as when that time bvb arrives, it triggers you to 0:00 take some. I smoke a lot of pot and have for 50 years. Good going to you. As long as you KNOW you must, you will do it.

[@vikasgupta1828]

Thanks

[@ktjoonbug]

The communication piece... Wow

[@lutello3012]

I thought this was going to be more about how she handled the tapering and withdrawal but it was still interesting. I quit a 25 year old use last year and got too emotional sometimes but thought I was in the clear until the panic attacks started, sometimes triggered by my eventually successful attempt to quite Afrin. I don't think I'm numbed by the shit but I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have been put on it to begin with. Like she says I was just behind on my life coping skills and was convinced that a magic pill would help. Maybe I'll try again when the time is right.

[@gggariepy]

Would it be possible to share the name of that psychiatrist in Canada who treats without meds, please?

[@siobhan9815]

Check out Dr Chris Palmer

[@TheFISHTANK666]

Numbing!!!! No one knows where is the base line?

[@elizabethabbott2982]

A veteran pal had adverse reactions to meds. I found Dr, Peter Breggin a good source of info on meds; still... what to do with trauma; does anyone have an answer?

[@sparrowbarnesmusic5864]

Meds dont fix trauma. They just numb and dull you so u think u cope better. The only way to deal with trauma is to see a good psychologist and go through the process of taking and healing it that way. If like me its much trauma this will take years to do. In my case i believe i will be dealing with my stuff for the rest of my life. Pills have not been the answer for me. Pills have messed up my life and stolen who l could have been. U can do tnis too.i encourage you to try. Its worth it

[@christinehardy9355]

Support group of survivors started my recovery, it's a long process

[@paulettesgoo]

The carnivore diet and prayer ... if your friend does not have God, he must find a traditional Christian church (Traditional Catholic is best, the prayers are very powerful, but many people will not go there) and understand that pharmakia is satanic.

[@paulettesgoo]

And the demonic is real ... psychology is no substitute for the power of God.

[@justbarry587]

I've been on them all now take cymbalta 60. 42 years of em. I'm 67

[@evngeo6611]

The camera angle on you doc, is triggering. Lol

[@rajvo7406]

I am also coping with permanent damage from ssris but my most distressing one is sexual dysfunction. Did you have it pn the meds? And did it improve after quitting

[@Thatsbannanas-d8c]

I woke up, to the baffoons who thought that since they took it, I should. I snapped out of that vortex.

[@Mitch-lb4pc]

Dr. Josef. Could you interview Helen Fischer. Social anthropologist. Or have you interviewed her?. She writes about relationships and ssri use.

[@KarenGriffin-dq4bb]

You obviously don't know a lot about 6:05 snake oil. Also, the whole idea of someone being inadequate VS. the situation they are in forcing them to be inadequate to be able to deal with their own lives without then having a dependency created and funded or self-funded such as college, college, college, in particular being imposed on people in my age range (65), does NOT work for domestic violence victims, particularly minors. It is exactly the wrong thing to say to a domestic violence victim. Saying that you have to "work on yourself" in therapy, or ",make something of yourself" or "live in the present" or "leave the past behind" is 100% the absolute wrong thing to say. You either shoot to kill, or physically disable the person sufficiently to take them to court the 1st time they do it, or go to a Domestic violence shelter.

[@rdallas81]

You must choose to move forward in change or to relive the past over and over again. Usually- the past will replay over and over again- in combination of drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, DEBT- LOSS- You must remove these triggers out of your life- or you or many people will keep repeating these backward ways.

[@isamyling4986]

My wake up: At age 21, after having been on a coctail of different drugs (an array of different SSRI, Mood stabilizers, Benzo, antipsychotics and sleeping pills) from age 14 I had a surgery done on my throat which didn't allow me to swallow pills for about 2 weeks due to immense pain. It felt litterally like i woke up after years and years and years of not being present in my life. I also had some crazy side effects from cold turkey and ended up taking the drugs again after the healing period and then felt this curtan fall over me again. Some time before this I had had intense side effects of Immovane (hallucinations, rashes) which kind of had me question if these drugs where actually helping or not. I told my doctor I wanted to quit my drugs, she said she didnt recommend it AS A DOCTOR but AS A PERSON she highly recommended me to. That statement chocked me. We started a taper and slowly i returned to life again and realized all the sort of psychotic symtoms I had experienced where mostly due to drug side effects! My mood also stabalized more and for the first time I could start to process the trauma that had landed me in care at 14! Now I'm 9 years medication free and I'm stable mentally and have done a lot of work on my trauma. I have experienced som einjuries from the drugs, mainly gut issues and nerve spasms and pains.

[@johnwolf1475]

SHROOMS TALK TO GOD AND THERE IS MORE DIRECT CHANNELS USE THEM

[@cindyjo9093]

OMG. I can't take it any more. It's too boring.

[@Pattycakes-hc4pm]

what is?