Tara's Cancer Journey: Chemo #3, New Protocol, Jack's Ugly Awakening, New Med, Hip Bag Modeling

Chemo #3, day 1 and 2 - have I chosen chemo? I'm not free in choosing chemo, I don't think I'm choosing from fear, but maybe I am. How does one know what to do in the face of cancer and chemo and life?
New medication, change from R-CHOP to R-EPOCH. New drug additions changes the acronym. Also, I'm wearing a very stylish "Kimo" bag to slowly infuse the drugs 24 hours a day for 5 days. My oncologist selected this change based on the fish test of the original biopsy of the mass in my abdomen. I have 2 abnormalities, people can have 2-4 (maybe more?), mine are on the BCL2 and MYC2 and it is called "Double Hit Lymphoma".
I really don't do research and for good reason - all the internet searching leads to is a sea of frightening statistics, no matter what you are searching. A 5 minute search for the two abovementioned abnormalities yielded info that I don't want swimming in my brain so I ended my research and will use the lymphoma group on facebook to seek answers if I feel I need them.
I previously shared on facebook that I am Jack's Ugly Awakening, which was misinterpreted by some as my discontent with my bald head, but that's not what was intended. Fight Club, which is not about fighting, has a scened in which the name Jack becomes a way for the narrator to talk about himself and his internal struggles - hence: AWAKENING. So, I am Jack's Ugly Awakening is a reference to the fact that real awakenings are rarely, or never, pretty. They always involve some difficulty or struggle, like cancer, or illness, or tragedy or an introspective discovery of something we don't like about ourselves.
Thank you for watching. Enjoy the video. Enjoy life.
Check out Tammy Lally - tammylally.com

[@rhondawhatley1591]

Too cute loved the modeling.... hope all is well and goes well hun. I pray for you and your family everyday

[@edgrabousky9995]

Wow! This was one of your best videos!👍 I was disappointed it was over so quick. You lucked out on your port, mine was on my left side. You know right where the seat belt rubs. And I would hang my IV bag on my bed post. Then I would get up in the night and forget it was connected, and get stopped real quick. I never did get used to it.I think it’s 3 weeks since I had my port removed. Just another scare to go with all the others.🙏🙏🌹

[@anabenitez1744]

Wishing you all the healing

[@johnsavage1113]

You are Jack's artful self-exploitation. Maybe that's not exactly the right phrase I'm looking for, but your purpose for making these videos to share with us, your candidness and willing vulnerability, the humor....the fashion sequences! Adlibbing, captions and medical science... my language is breaking down, overrun by conflicting emotions as you invite us into the side seat of your experience. I'm learning much, inspired, and hope others are too. From the book, "Nourishing Destiny: The Inner Tradition of Chinese Medicine" by Lonny Jarrett, some words to replace my emotional breakdown: "Another hallmark of the inner tradition is that it...serves as an extension of the practitioner's own spiritual quest and path. A foundational principal...is that a practitioner may only engender a virtue in a patient to the degree that he or she is able to access that virtue within. "One's efficacy as a healer lies... in having become one's art." Quoting Zhuangzi, Daoist philosopher of 369?-286? B.C.E., whose name literally translates to "serious child" (how I like to define 'adults'), owed to the great humor in his writing, he says, "To know what you can't do anything about, and to be content with it as you would with destiny - only a [person] of virtue can do that." Tara, you may feel unsettled within now, but the way you share yourself by virtue - courage, levity, honesty, and ultimately acquiescence - you embody the inner tradition and so honor us all by taking this path. Your higher, super awesome self knows why. Keep having fun freeing your inner Tyler Durden! Thanks for being such an edifying example of one of humanity's most feared paths. You will recover. Your ugly awakening is swanfully graceful ;)

[@tarasjourney-lettinginthel8782]

Thank you for "getting IT"! I am on a journey that is meant for me (as we all are) and I'm well aware of the journey in a way I never have been. But from the moment I knew it was cancer, which was prior to the official diagnosis, I knew this was my path. And lucky for me, I know some people who've been through some major challenges and take the same view and they were whispering in my ear from the start - sharing their knowledge and offering me a sea of understanding. By this I am humbled and in GREAT gratitude. I thank you for your perspective, John, it is always welcome. You intellectual ways always lend to a deeper conversation into what I think I know. May you be blessed!

[@elizabethconroy7665]

Looking well,Tara Cute cap Love your open and honest attitude but it must be scary So many people being diagnosed with Cancer It seems our environment is really toxic Wishing you all the best

[@siannevautour8659]

What kind of cancer do you have ? What were your symptoms ?

[@tarasjourney-lettinginthel8782]

Hi Siane, I answered this on my other video. Thank you for asking.