Becoming a Recluse

I became a recluse several years ago. Here is how it all started.
trevorcarss.com
A journey to solitary refinement. Is being a recluse so bad? Some of the most creative people in the world were isolated while they refined their craft. Just look at Stanley Kubrick. He isolated himself in his home quite often.
When I was in high school, I knew right then that I did not fit in. Is not fitting in such a bad thing? I don't think so. Society is making us believe that we have to fit into a predefined box. Let's break those social constructs instead.
#Recluse #Isolation #Trev

[@thegodpopper8934]

People who are drawn to solitude, don’t worry. Explore it, embrace it, surrender to it - there’s a chance that you’re being invited to explore something deeper within. It’s tempting to reach for distractions or resist it, but if you relax, accept and use the time for introspection you may find out you’re not actually broken, but wider society is. Time in solitude is such a beautiful and powerful thing, it’s a real shame that not many people get it. In fact, accepting that most people will never understand it and you’ll always feel different is part of the process. You’re one of the lucky ones if you’re called to this.

[@TheJohnGent1]

Thank you! I am keeping your words to re-read as I become more and more a recluse.

[@Trevco]

Well said

[@beyondher]

The fact that wider society is broken and toxic is why I've become a recluse. The 'wetiko' virus seems to have taken over most souls, even people who I once thought to be spiritual and somewhat awake. I can't pretend to enjoy the company of brainwashed people.

[@duybear4023]

At first I found torment in solitude. Now I find peace there. It took a long time to mature into it.

[@Trevco]

That's awesome to hear

[@oneglobeoneloveofficial]

I find depression hits me harder when I am around people. Diagnosed with CPTSD, severe depression and anxiety in 2013, I have finally come to realise that I got this way because of a few things. People, being highly sensitive, empathic, a childhood that I was not able to cope with nor understand, a heck of a lot of pain throughout my life, actually being quite intelligent but thinking I was dumb for a long time, people lying to me when I know they are lying and the list goes on. It has taken me 41 years to realise that yeah I actually prefer being alone because I am happier. My life is less stressful. I can never get over the pain as it went on for way too long to ever recover fully. Id like to think though that whatever time I have left I get to choose how I want to live my life. Some people just really don't want much to do with other people and it is not personal.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing! Glad to see you've found what works best for you

[@terrilorrain528]

I know it's been a year - somehow I didn't see all the wonderful comments as they came in. You are truly the first person I know who has been honest enough to say being alone makes you happier. I think even some of us recluses have been afraid to admit we are happier alone because it goes so deeply/strongly against EVERYTHING that has been taught to us and ingrained in us from birth. But you nailed it! Thank you my friend.

[@kme3894]

I wholeheartedly agree with all of the above (I am also in my 40s and it's probably that time in a person's life when we finally start embracing who we really are and what makes us happier)

[@oneglobeoneloveofficial]

@@terrilorrain528 that's the thing. People will skirt around dishonesty with themselves and it leads to dishonesty with others. Lie to yourself, lie to others. I'm still happier being by myself. The expectations of society to not being by yourself and "socialising" more is outdated. Not one size fits all and it's not because I'm depressed. It happens to be part of my life and personality.

[@oneglobeoneloveofficial]

@@kme3894 I agree with that. It seems to be the age where I'm stepping into my own skin unapolagetically and authentically. I don't care what people think. I'm living my life, they are not living it for me.

[@roundtreecumberbatch2012]

You're an introvert if you aren't lonely. Don't let people make it seem like it's an illness. It's not.

[@Trevco]

True, true, that can be a challenge to acknowledge the difference. Thank you

[@keifer7813]

"Introvert" is just a cope for having social anxiety. Nobody would prefer being an "introvert" over an "extrovert"

[@paulbrown2532]

I don't like being lonely and reclusive but that's how life turned out suffered a lot of hurt and rejection in life. But would like to start socialising a bit more for my mental health.sufering with anxiety and being an introvert doesn't help. But will try. Good luck to all the reclusive people out there, I hope things improve for all.

[@Trevco]

Best wishes to you

[@eli-wq4ql]

For me this is a choice. I don't say this from my ego; I'm popular. I'm very acceptive and loving, but after 45 years, I'm done engaging in the dramas that play out on the stage. No stage, less drama. I was selfless and it was my downfall, I felt I needed people for inner peace and I never did. I've noticed that the more I retract the more I attract certain people. I can't get away from them at work.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing

[@Walklikeaduck111]

I resonate with what you say. I think others judge us for stepping back from the world ...but i find their lives quite exhausting.

[@Trevco]

It can be exhausting, especially if introverted, anxious or shy! Downtime is helpful for me

[@jamesleth806]

Most individuals are dysfunctional and superficial. It is liberating in many cases to be reclusive.

[@Trevco]

very true

[@terrilorrain528]

I wish your video could go viral because what you are saying is profound. I, too, am a recluse -- having chosen isolation because people tend to cause me nothing but deep disappointment -- an emotion I can't process in any healthy way. Also, I'm a Type A personality, so that says a lot. I have come up with a saying about myself: "I am an inappropriate person". Some may say that is another way of saying, "I'm socially awkward", but it's not the same. I am not uncomfortable in crowds, or meeting new people -- I can talk to anyone, anytime, but here's the thing: I must disengage before I say something "wrong" because I will inevitably and invariably say something wrong. By "wrong" I mean "not nice". It seems in this world we are always expected to be nice and to be sensitive to the feelings of others and to "think before we speak", and to filter our thoughts before verbalizing them, and, I don't do that. I think it - I say it. Turns out, that only works if you are the boss of the world and can say anything you want with no repercussion. So, while I am now a recluse by choice and quite happy in my isolation (with my cat:), I was definitely driven here by society's inability and unwillingness to accept, tolerate, appreciate, respect, and roll with my unique personality. It's too bad because in my former life before becoming reclusive, people sometimes referred to me as "Mother Theresa" because I was always trying to help people -- solve problems they didn't know how to solve. That comes from being a Type A - I get shit done. But, people didn't like my approach. Anyway Trev, thanks for the video -- it's an important one.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing your story Terri! Finding our place in society is an absolute puzzle. With your unique perspective, I bet many people would love to hear from you. You are not alone there.

[@terrilorrain528]

@@Trevco ... When I've got people like you -- genuine, authentic, intelligent -- I don't have to be in the same room to connect. Like you, I am a writer -- translated: starving artist. But I'm content. So glad I found your channel.

[@Trevco]

@@terrilorrain528 I hope more people check out your work, that's excellent! We need to switch starving to thriving ;)

[@marg4229]

I wrote my long rant before reading your comments. Your insights are wonderful and reflect mine in so many ways. I also feel that I'm a problem-solver and Type A personality. I have felt the same way in having to curb the comment I would have wanted to say that wasn't going to be what the person wants to hear. Too many people are delusional, where I am a realist. Often they cannot think things through well enough and are their own worst enemy. I could never go to town meetings because people can come up with the dumbest solutions and then the rest all follow like sheep without thinking out the consequences. If I were to say anything, it would be too honest and people don't like others disagreeing with them, especially in public. You get shit done because you are competent and educated. Good for you! Trev, I also liked your thoughts.

[@Trevco]

@@marg4229 we need problem-solvers, and being comfortable to speak your mind is very much needed, never hold back ;)

[@jplino3466]

A few things started and I discovered them in high school. Depression, anxiety and the desire to always be alone. It's been decades now, I would still rather be alone.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing

[@chesternabua6783]

Being a recluse is an act of non-violent rebellion to society. Conforming to social standards is not necessary to have a happy existence. As long as your basic necessities in life like food,shelter,clothing and air are satisfied yet social interactions are also important because we people are programmed to that. But sometimes it's very exhausting and a burden for some people to maintain connection to others. I commend you bro for being strong and courageous with only yourself.

[@Trevco]

Thank you, very well said

[@Drpermer]

Great video! Nice to see someone with a similar take on the world. I grew up on a farm, and during the summer months, there were weeks without seeing anyone but my immediate family. I did not get along with my father or brother, which I avoided. I have worked in the corporate world for many years, and despised that process with a passion. As you might expect, I was never promoted and was eventually terminated from those jobs, as I avoided executives and marketing (typically extroverted folks) like the plague (I was a technical person). I am now 54, married with 2 children. My marriage has been on the rocks for MANY years, and I am planning on a divorce in my future. I am working on my ultimate goal, which is to move to far northern MN and build a small homestead for myself. For me, I'm not sure being alone is a choice as much as a default, as I cannot build or sustain long-term relationships with others. I simply do not like people, and eventually or maybe immediately, they do not like me. As with others here, I have suffered from severe depression (including suicide attempts) since I was 8. I suspect that for many of us, the drive to avoid people, as well as the inability to manage long-term relationships and function in groups, begins very early and may be developed as a result of genetics and/or in utero. I was adopted and don't know my adopted family, but also know I was a child of rape, which I suspect could have caused my mother high stress during the pregnancy and imprinted upon me to some degree.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing your story - quite the life to have, which I'm sure would only make you a stronger person. Your ultimate goal sounds incredible, I hope you achieve it

[@kieranjohnston7550]

I think it was Marianne Moore who said that the only cure for loneliness is solitude. The words of a poet can sink in deeply if you let them.

[@Trevco]

Wise words

[@emilytustin4540]

I’ve always felt like I shouldn’t like being alone because everyone tells me to go out more and stop working so much they all kind of pity me when I tell the. I live alone don’t have any friends or family in the city with me they all “aw” but I paid extra to live alone. I only looked at single person apartments. I’ve lived with others and family it’s just not for me. I’m very happy. At 1st it was awkward and my feelings about it fluxuated but after a year i signed another lease I’m here for a 2nd year of full acceptance and enjoyment with the way I’m living and I’m not longer embarrassed about telling people I’m not doing anything tonight and I like it that way. Thanks for the video! sorry if I have spelling errors

[@Trevco]

That's awesome! As long as you are happy, that's what matters

[@PUREtrollin]

You're a strong person, happy for you.

[@sakamotothecat17]

I've been reclusive for 4 years. I dont connect with my friends and only talk to my immediate family because i live with them. Sadly, i dont do anything productive. I've been feeling this negative feeling, anixety, and depressed for 4 years. I feel my life cant move on.

[@Trevco]

Ohh, how do you spend your days at home?

[@pr5pr]

take action, any type of action

[@Trevco]

@@pr5pr absolutely

[@grey3871]

It sounds like your reclusion is a symptom of your depression and anxiety. Treat the depression and anxiety, then the symptoms will go away or lessen. What are you depressed about? Really dig deep to find the answer. What is really missing in your life that's causing your depression? Are you lonely? Do you feel like no one truly understands you/accepts you is judging you? Make peace with what ever it is that's hurting you. Everyone needs to learn to love themselves. And that means accepting the things about yourself that you hate and are ashamed of

[@nancyannenesteriak-gentili3540]

Hope things work out for you. Your honesty is refreshing. Take care of yourself.

[@Trevco]

Thank you so much Nancy!

[@Balasidine957]

I've become a recluse at this point, misanthropic at this point. For almost 20 years I've been unhappy most of the time, from elementary school to adulthood. Being bullied by everyone, incuding the government, been treated like a second class citizen by them. It has come to a point where I've pretty much force myself to be on my own. I tend to yell, scream and even curse at people for not leaving me alone. Due to my circumstances I've accepted that ill live the rest of my life being unfulfilled and that SOME of my goals like romantic relationships won't come to light, something I feared since I was a little boy. Now its at risk of coming true. But I guess that's life. You've been depressed for so long that you have created a philosophical meaning behind your depression. You accept you misanthropy, you accept your loneliness and you continue to live life. Some of the best philosophers in the world weren't necessary happy people themselves. And I think its justified because society sucks. Btw, have received professional help for a decade and that failed miserably. Now I've become anti-therapy, anti-psychiatry, and so forth. Your best course of action is to walk away from the decaying system. I still go out but I don't strike up a conversation. Surprisingly still have friends but told them I'm almost never available anymore. Mom hates my isolation so as a punishment I avoid her. Good video BTW.

[@Trevco]

Thank you so much for sharing your story, I think many people will resonate with your comment

[@Drpermer]

Like you, my interpersonal dread and isolation began VERY early. As early as first grade, I was taken to see a psychologist. I think you have to accept yourself as you come to a large degree.

[@conversacionesconmipadre]

What an intelligent and articulate (and oh so handsome) young man. All that you said resonated with me in every single way.

[@Trevco]

Aw thank you! :)

[@westwalian1018]

The commonly held belief that humans are naturally open and cooperative social animals may have been true in our early development. But the modern world had made most people selfish and uncaring and I personally find that most of them are troublesome. That is why I am a recluse. I regret having to be that way, but the world of people forces me into that position.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing your story

[@beaglerescue5281]

I believe my adult cousin is a recluse. I’m trying to learn more about recluses. I didn’t know him growing up because of distance. Now his mother, whom he lives with, is in poor health. Several times a week, I cook meals and clean for them. Both live on her SS because he quit looking for work more than 15 years ago. At first, I wouldn’t see him during visits. Then, I would see him but no communication. After 9 months, he communicates every visit and enjoys interacting with my dog. My concern is when his mother dies, he will have no place to live and no job. HELP!

[@Trevco]

A bit of an unfortunate situation, I wonder if he is happy?

[@charlie-gz8pv]

I've felt that i've had reclusive tendencies ever since i was a child. My first day of primary school, I hid under a table and didn't want to interact with anybody. I've had many friend groups throughout the years, but ever since leaving school it's been borderline impossible to try and hold onto any relationships. Despite my poor communication, I still have some friends luckily, but I've definitely become a recluse as of late. Failing to speak to my friends, staying at home all day every day, weeks or months go by without me taking a step outside or even opening a window. It's scary and lonely at times, but I feel safe and atleast for this current phase of my life I weirdly feel as if It's the best option for me. It doesn't really help my case that I have Depression and Anxiety disorders, It's impossible to find motivation to persue anything long term, even short term most of the time. I fear that time will fly by and i'll be in the same position that I am in now, struggling to find my place in the world, and understand what I want to get out of my life, or find something meaningful; all the while I'm shy and introverted and struggle to reach out for help, or commit to anything. It's like a cycle almost, I'm sure there's many things I could be doing with my infinite time to help myself, but my anxiety prevents me from taking the first step, and my depression forces me to fall back into my reclusive security.

[@Trevco]

thank you for sharing, you are brave

[@Chris-lz1fs]

Yep, I didn't fit in either at secondary school or university. And after that in any jobs I had, I never really fitted in either. I was never one to get involved in any social circles or any gossip simply because I wasn't interested. It always led to trouble from what I could see. I was always the quiet, laid back guy who had little or nothing to say for himself. I'm still like that. At 45 years of age now, I've become more reclusive and less interested in being around people at all. The further away I can get from it all, the better. I'm usually perfectly secure within myself and with my own thought and feelings as well and don't really want to change that now. I've had more trouble and bother when I've been forced into being with people for one lifetime and I just can't be bothered anymore. And there's huge benefits to being alone as well, as long as you take the time and get comfortable being that way. It is worth it, the journey into solitude, especially if what modern life offers isn't all that appealing.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing your story! Do you find yourself longing for any close relationships or?

[@Chris-lz1fs]

@@Trevco I used to when I was in my 20's and 30's. I used to see people I knew or people who were the same age as me, getting into relationships, having kids and getting married and I sometimes hoped that would happen to me. Now, I've seen the flip side of all that, the trouble they have with their kids, the worries they have for them, the problems they face and I'm left feeling that perhaps it was a good thing it didn't happen for me. Sure, when you're younger, relationships and all that look to be the meaning of life and if you're not in one, you're labelled as some kind of loser or wierdo but as you get older and a bit wiser, hopefully, you see the down side of it all. And by this stage you've gotten very comfortable just being on your own and it would be an immense upheaval to consider all that now. Like I say, there are huge benefits to being alone and it'd be very hard for me to give that up. It would be very strange and I don't think I'd get used to it, I'd more than likely find myself longing for my solitude again. But, stranger things have happened and I've been told to keep an open mind.

[@Trevco]

@@Chris-lz1fs very fascinating perspective, it really seems to come down to your happiness at the end of the day, and if you have that, why even change a thing?

[@lifehappens9092]

The lonely feelings are super depressing but I don’t fit, I’m not appealing to anyone and I’m not comfortable outside of my own personal space for too long.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing, life is not easy

[@richardmabe4186]

I like being reclusive, I can fit in with others if necessary but why bother? Most of the things people say and do are pretty pointless and people in general are bad at getting along with each other. I have retired and look forwards to a reclusive future as a free man.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing :) the world might be moving more and more towards this approach

[@richardmabe4186]

@@Trevco Perhaps you're right though many people are incapable of being alone and fear loneliness which is why often they don''t understand those who can be alone. I don't hate people but humans are not as social and connected as they like to think despite outward appearances sometimes, and existentially we are all alone so the capacity to be so is very useful. That's my current thinking, thanks for your video, all the best.

[@Trevco]

@@richardmabe4186 that is a very helpful perspective, I do hope others can feel inspired by your example. Thank you for tuning in and all the best as well

[@blonde789]

Humans continually let me down …I prefer to stay isolated from the sheeple …my anxiety has gone down immensely since I’ve shut the fuking world out…I’ve come to full acceptance on this new way of life …it’s free will whether I interact with sheeple or not

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing

[@sariahlace5944]

You’re very explanatory on this topic 💯💯💯🥰😘🥰🥰 👏👏👏🤝🤝🤝✊✊ I want and need to keep myself away from people/society as well. I’m a misfit,I don’t even want to fit in you can never be,truly free,being amongst others. I’m really a non-conformist I have to figure out a way,whereas I can still maintained modern day amenities and privileges,while living as recluse.

[@Trevco]

thank you for watching and sharing :)

[@sariahlace5944]

@@Trevco 👍

[@Ropeadopeya]

Been essentially by myself for the past six years. Life certainly is simple when the inherent complications of other people are not present. Plenty of time to do one's favorite hobbies/ passion projects as you alluded to. Sexual intimacy is very hard to find (if one is either not married/ unwilling to pay for sex) and should be factored in if a person is considering the lifestyle. It is a lonely ride and in truth for most people it would scare them away, from my limited experience. But I don't think it has to be forever either. At 28 right now I don't think I can go past 30 living this way. While having really enjoyed 80 percent of the time and strongly feel people would do well to have years alone I faintly hear life calling me to participate. I know one day soon I won't be able to ignore it anymore. Life has chapters I suppose. Good luck everyone.

[@Trevco]

Great response, hope you find the right lifestyle on your journey

[@Ropeadopeya]

@@Trevco Thank you. And I appreciate you providing a vid for others to offer their subjective experiences/ thoughts on this subject. Take care of yourself, Trev.

[@Trevco]

@@Ropeadopeya happy to share, cheers

[@ceoherohub2584]

I turned into a recluse during high school. Everything changed. Where I don’t leave the house ever. I don’t go out to get groceries. I don’t talk with anyone. Nobody calls or texts me and when they do I don’t answer. Nothing is keeping me alive. I’m not a brilliant person. I’m on the destructive end of the spectrum. Maybe if I was smarter I would have done something to not end up in this hell I’ve created. I just want to reconnect with 2 friends who used to talk to me online years ago it seems like. Playing a dumb mobile game. Where I was somewhat comfortable. And waste time before I eventually die. I feel technology and social media (which I also don’t participate in) has still morphed me into this mindless zombie consumer. Addicted to porn. Where I only feel comfort in silence. My own voice disgusts me. When I see myself in the mirror and when I see myself in old pictures I AM NOT THE SAME. Because I’m not existing in this world as I once was. I could die tomorrow no more words. This endless cycle of suffering. I’m typing this in a hotel right now. Sorry about this comment. High anxiety is happening.

[@Trevco]

It's never too late to change if you want to. Thank you for sharing

[@luckylambdin8269]

I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

[@Trevco]

That should be printed on a picture frame, profound words!

[@luckylambdin8269]

@@Trevco Yup, pretty much nutshells it for me.

[@Trevco]

@@luckylambdin8269 love it!

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

Thank you 😊 for making this video.

[@Trevco]

My pleasure!

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

Over a period of time , I wonder if society forgets about you . Especially toxic people and bullies. I just decided to become a recluse. I feel so much peace and happiness. When I have to work up front at work and the lobby is full of people., I remind myself that I will soon be sitting with nature or sitting in my room. I learned I made friends with nature. So peaceful and healing.

[@Trevco]

Nature is a true cleanser

[@goodvibes4527]

I’m 21. I don’t want to waste my life anymore. I shut myself indoors because I’m afraid of making friends. I turned down a pool party tonight to read books 😞😞

[@Trevco]

hey it's all good, you're still young! Do what makes you happy

[@cjskel]

I would give anything to have the 3 months of lockdown during the first phase of COVID where I saw no one.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing, very true for many

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

One of my haiku poems Alienated The social climate I no longer relate to Chosen to withdraw

[@Trevco]

So powerful

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

I have written so many poems since I minimize my contact with people

[@Trevco]

@@maurinedriscoll5194 oh you could make a book out of them! Would love to read sometime

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

I already made a book of my haikus. I can put some of my poems out there

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner

[@erakkovaatainen148]

I might be antisocial personality. I visited public sauna just recently and almost everyone was drunk. I felt so out from the crowd not drinking. Actually I do like sauna, but when it's crowded and people drinking it's just exhausting. I was home for days after it just rebooting. I like hermit life forever. Zero friends, little interaction. At home or in woods we have plenty of things to do. I have no time making "friends". I don't like, oh where do I start, anything mainstream people do. I don't like eating out, visiting spa's, going to movies or barbershops, bars, festivals etc. It's almost like you don't like anything except being alone, mountain biking in nature and listening to dance music. I just don't like most of the things, jobs included.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing

[@scelusiasadventure2278]

Greetings from another recluse (self-proclaimed)

[@Trevco]

Greetings! How are you doing?

[@phantompunchmotorizedbikes1624]

Well done. Spread the word

[@Trevco]

Thank you so much! :)

[@oneglobeoneloveofficial]

It's a year later since I commented. The world has become much worse. I am really just actually pissed off with the world's BS. I don't see why 90% of the world loves living in chaos and complexity when it really doesn't need to be that way. I am drained, bat shit bored and over the crap. I don't want to fit in at all, I just want to be accepted for being me BUT it's too hard for most people. This world is setting itself up for a shit ride day after day, but they refuse to look at the daily choices they make which gives everyone a shit ride day after day. People are downright lazy and then think it's ok to say I know it sucks, or I know it's unjust but it's the way it is. I feel like screaming at them at that point. I just don't hold any hope anymore. I'm too tired. Tired of it all.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for coming back and sharing, you might just have to yell at them

[@oneglobeoneloveofficial]

I truly can't be bothered wasting my breath and voice. When the comment "it is just the way it is" is uttered there has to be a fast one liner that packs a punch. Then I leave and leave them with it. People are just shit to deal with on a daily basis. It helps to talk about frustrations. Better out than in.

[@Trevco]

@@oneglobeoneloveofficial well said, best to voice the thoughts

[@AWISECROW]

Interesting

[@Trevco]

Thanks!

[@Addieisgoinghome]

The virus is making it impossible to go outside for me and I’m looking for ways to cope and enjoy.

[@Trevco]

It's a tough situation, what kinds of activities do you enjoy inside?

[@Ray-xh6gb]

In the world not of the world

[@Trevco]

Profoundly said

[@dougn2350]

To me, becoming more reclusive is a choice. I work with a group of racist manbabies. It sickens me to be around them. Since I have to work until I can retire I have to tolerate their behavior. The thing that really pisses me off is that Management knows these people are rotten eggs but they refuse to do anything about it.

[@Trevco]

That's terrible, hope things improve in the workplace for you

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

I will get back to writing nature haikus and hanging out with my search word friends.

[@Trevco]

That's a sweet idea!

[@mehnazhossain4632]

I think the productive and the non-productive part was the responsible comment.

[@Trevco]

Thank you!

[@Ray-xh6gb]

My doctor thinks I should not work because I talk about Things

[@Trevco]

What kinds of things?

[@Ray-xh6gb]

Reading books all day the truth shall let you free how do you avoid employment

[@Trevco]

Reading is great! You could become self-employed

[@Ray-xh6gb]

I talk about things people are scared of me I tell the truth

[@Trevco]

Telling the truth is good

[@gregoryabbot420]

This crazy society could make ANYONE reclusive.

[@Trevco]

Haha is there something you are witnessing that is particularly crazy right now?

[@markrowley9801]

I live alone. I work alone. Its an odd feeling - to feel lonely but not wanting to be around people. The recluse part / not trusting people triggered from personnel trauma, trauma I couldn't fix because every avenue led to a dead end.

[@Trevco]

i'm sorry to hear that, hope you're managing ok

[@TheJohnGent1]

My story is close to yours. I also add to it that I am a recluse b/c of many broken friendships b/c someone is a "fair weather" type friend -- and after a big disagreement - the friend ghost you rather than processing it. If an argument breaks a multi-year friendship, it wasn't that solid to begin with. Still not easy.

[@markrowley9801]

@@TheJohnGent1 I understand. One or two things you can brush off, but when it's more and more it's easy to lose faith in society and just "prefer" (if that's the right word) your own company

[@beyondher]

Many friends have taken on the 'throw away' aspect of our culture.. they throw you away when you're not pleasing them, and then replace you with a new friend that agrees with their narrative. It's really tragic and so common. @@TheJohnGent1

[@avataryangchen19]

Hi Trev. This pandemic has made me realize how okay I am with having little to no interactions with a lot of people. Being an introvert, being in large social circles is exhausting and I found myself being really comfortable with being alone. I dream of the day I can move to my own small space where I can live in solitude. Thank you for this video. You are a wonderful speaker and I hope you can speak more about your life as a recluse in future videos.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing your story, I'm glad to hear you are turning the pandemic into a positive situation :)

[@sariahlace5944]

💯💯💯✊✊✊🤝🤝🤝👏👏👏

[@jefferysweaty6028]

I am slowly becoming more reclusive as I grow older. I don't mind communicating with others, but I find I become my best and the person I want to be when I'm alone. I love making art work through painting, music and film. I too struggled through school. I wanted to be an artist so I never managed to fit in.

[@Trevco]

Great perspective, thank you for sharing :)

[@stephaniestevens1175]

I realize I have a deep desire for solitude which led me to a deeper desire for being a recluse. I have always suffered from anxiety and being overstimulated. I cant focus when there are tons of ppl around. My conclusion began when I realized I had more energy and less depression when I was to myself. The sickness of both parents and being thier primary sole caretaker has taking a massive toll on my mental health, not caring for them but having to go to the hospital, doctors offices, being in public more because I shop for them etc. I have way more interactions with people than I can handle. I will not abandon my parents but when they pass away,I will be able to live as a recluse. I will miss them because time with them at home is always peaceful,its the outside world that got to me.

[@Trevco]

thank you for sharing

[@knownanonymous8802]

I'm retired military and a writer. Writing is just about as solo a pursuit as you can get. When I'm not writing, I'm researching topics not put out there by mainstream sources; again, more solo stuff especially since it is niche subjects. Or, I'm engaging in solitary religious practice/contemplation. People...even if they are loved ones...are distracting. Obstructions, intentionally so or not. My only connection to the outside world is my teenage daughter: keeping her appointments, school matters, all that. When she's on her own, then what? I can see myself going further and further into my own world. As much as I love my daughter, I actually look forward to locking myself away for the remainder of my days.

[@Trevco]

Fascinating background, writing seems to be the go-to solo pursuit. You must be proud to see your daughter grow up though, that's wonderful!

[@aj.5841]

I'm in this same boat. I have a very demanding fulltime job in the public service, and used to be very extroverted. As I am aging, I find myself wanting to pull further away from people. I like my privacy, but I too have teenage daughter who I want to see do well and she lives with me fulltime. I'm a writer, also, and,very creative and I know this is the path that makes me feel comfortable. I have been supremely disappointed by people in the outside world for sometime, but can't help getting into a negative loop, like there is something wrong with me. I feel humbled to learn there are many others out there just like me. We are never alone, and God, too, is with me always.

[@reclusivehermitwithalongbu3767]

I always worked the night shift so I wouldn't have to deal with as many people. Now that I'm retired for 10 years, I only see other people every couple or few weeks.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing, that's a great tip!

[@reclusivehermitwithalongbu3767]

@@Trevco Yup - and I always got paid a 5% - 10% differential for working the night shift, too. Offered more autonomy on the job. :)

[@Trevco]

@@reclusivehermitwithalongbu3767 oh that's a big plus! Good on you for finding a lifestyle that works well

[@grandamadain]

Where’s Waldo, the origin story.

[@Trevco]

I just need the toque

[@sayadawujotika4549]

I am very interested in you thinking and your feeling. Thank you for sharing about yourself. I am also a recluse. I am a writer.

[@Trevco]

Oh a writer, that's wonderful! What genre do you write in?

[@bcraigphelps2649]

I am a recluse and I love it, normal people think we are sociopaths. I always long to get back to my food forest out in the desert when not there.

[@Trevco]

Sounds like you've crafted the ideal lifestyle for you, it's what people dream to have

[@jaggass]

Someone i knew became a recluse after his wife died. I would only see him from time to time and when i did he looked very depressed. I think he died from a broken heart.

[@Trevco]

Oh no, that would be devastating for anyone

[@AdalineIncredulous]

Thank you for this! 'It's not that I don't *like* people, I just feel better when they aren't around.' - Charles Bukowski (he said 'hate' not 'like') People are great, especially folks like you and these here in the comments. This is the best way to socialise.

[@Trevco]

Aw thank you so much. Charles Bukowski is a brilliant poet, wonderful quote you've shared :)

[@jakemaxwell2800]

I am a recluse. I go to work. Come home workout then sleep. I am not lonely. I only feel lonely around other people. I have managed to save over £20k in two years without even trying. I could probably work part time and still save money

[@Trevco]

That sounds like a good system!

[@bobbysgirl8365]

Good video, I'm a recluse because as soon as people are in my life it becomes drama , problematic and I'm not interested. I don't subscribe to the " humans need a clan". I have been disappointed with every interaction I've had and refrain from human contact.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing, good on you for knowing what you need and don't need

[@linjicakonikon7666]

I photograph alone. I live alone. I pay attention to the events of the world and people's reactions and am convinced The world and I have little to offer each other. I enjoy the occasion one on one brief conversation with cashiers at the store or on the bus, but I live mostly in my head an am comfortable living quietly at home.

[@Trevco]

Well said! Thank you for sharing

[@FiNe_SiTe]

I thrive alone & after a career that involved being a public figure, I want nothing more than sweet solitude. Thank you for making this video.

[@Trevco]

That's excellent, thank you for tuning in Robin! What did your career look like as a public figure?

[@FiNe_SiTe]

@@Trevco I was a well-known news journalist and I couldn't go anywhere without being recognized. Plus the stress from the job itself was immense. I quit at the peak of my career to lead a quiet, simple life. I rarely leave my home or land. I'm happiest this way.

[@Trevco]

@@FiNe_SiTe That's wonderful, excellent to hear you have your ideal lifestyle now

[@virgilhilts2552]

Very interesting listening to you speak, very soothing voice. Would love to see you expand your channel. I'll watch all your clips, and i'm sure others would aswell.

[@Trevco]

Oh thank you so much! That means the world to me!

[@Expansion1111]

This was a great video man. Thank you I can totally relate

[@Trevco]

Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you :)

[@boosqueezy2418]

i’m much more at peace alone. never wanted lockdown to end.

[@Trevco]

A lot of people felt the same way

[@nocturnalrecluse1216]

If I had to choose a comfortable prison over a ruthless mob...I'd choose my comfortable prison.

[@Trevco]

Intense, I love it!

[@vanekirk]

Thank you Trev. I needed to hear this. You are brilliant.

[@Trevco]

Aw thank you! Glad to share :)

[@incrediblenif]

You enter this world alone and leave it alone. So, that being said where did it essentially become necessary to be immersed into a world full of people? I'm reading about the downside of isolation leading to insanity. But, to me there's more insane people infused in a highly populated society than the minority of reclusive people that might be dealing with issues of insanity. I think it's the pressurized, pressure cooker feel of struggling to fit into a society you can't even relate to nor want to be a part of. I like what you're saying here and i get it. I'm counting down the days when i can retire from a job I'm forced to do and detest. I'm firced on a daily basis to interact with people, most of whom I consider morons and vacuous, empty vessels. I have been looking into living in places with minimal populations and more rural settings. I can't take this rat race, fast paced media controlled kind of lifestyle anymore.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing, well said

[@Aussiepride_12]

I grew up not having many friends and sticking to myself.im in my thirties now and avoid going out in public,i get food delivered etc just so i dont have to interact with people.im alone but not lonely i cant believe i didn't become a recluse sooner

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing! From Australia? Amazing people there!

[@jsair23]

I get bullied by a few people at work. I think the abuse is making me withdraw from the world and from reality. I can live like a recluse and maybe create imaginary friends.

[@Trevco]

I'm sorry to hear that. I imagine workplace bullying is tough, it's an area that never gets talked about

[@jsair23]

@@Trevco the whole situation is kinda complicated. It's very personal stuff.

[@Trevco]

@@jsair23 it's never easy, hope you are doing the best you can

[@jsair23]

@@Trevco I found out my thoughts are not private at all. There are evil cruel people in this world who have been invading my privacy and using what I think about to bully only me specifically at work.

[@Trevco]

@@jsair23 this is terrible to hear :( I hope you can escape from this

[@davidgroenewegen3901]

This modern world, seems to want fast money quick and hurry up and have babies... I have schizophrenia and galactosemia. I am too disabled to have babies and I certainly CANNOT work any job. I get paid a pension and I have just left FB for the last time. Too many people on Facebook. I am a recluse now and happily retired :D

[@Trevco]

Good move to get away from Facebook, I hope you take it easy and enjoy yourself

[@friedmule5403]

I simply love your video!! It is calming, thoughtful, honest and relatable. You could call me an introvert, but it is more than that. An introvert enjoy contact, enjoy friendships, I do not. There is one person I trust above all, else do I avoid contact unless I am forced to be out and about. No friends, no family, no acquaintances, no recognition except from the places I usually shop, I am more of an NPC and I love it.

[@Trevco]

Aw thank you! I am glad you are enjoying the NPC lifestyle, it sounds fun!

[@DemonRazor88]

How do you expect to change the world by thinking the same way as everybody else ?

[@Trevco]

Well said!

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

I just decided to become a recluse. You really helped me know I made the right decision for the rest of my life.

[@Trevco]

Hi Maurine! Life evolves too, hope your decision brings you joy.

[@maurinedriscoll5194]

@@Trevco I will let you know how my recluse journey transforms my life. Thank you keep making videos

[@Trevco]

@@maurinedriscoll5194 please do, thank you for connecting

[@DGD-p6d]

me loner me like it but sometimes me get lonely but overa;ll i ok !

[@Trevco]

yay! me glad

[@richardt.buryan832]

LEARN FROM THE DESERT FATHERS: THEOPHAN THE RECLUSE, HOLY FATHER ISAAC OF THE SYRIAN CHURCH, ETC. ENTER THE CHARTERHOUSE IN VERMONT. SEEK FRIENDSHIP WITH GOD FACE TO FACE.

[@Trevco]

Good suggestions

[@misterneckbreaker88]

Yep this is me I spend most the day alone. Even when we get visitors I’ll retreat to my bedroom and won’t come out till they gone I even avoid encounters with family members. Only chat to my mother. I get jealous seeing people at gym training together because I’m always solo silent. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing :)

[@Ms.AnnThrope]

😂 I literally do the exact same thing.

[@chenoah7963]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this! I can so relate and am at present still having to be around people in my employment at present but i am finding it more of a challenge as its not really me to be around numbers of people and its the superficiality that really gets me and the things they stress about seem so pointless and trivial.Without being able to get out to nature i would go insane!

[@Trevco]

Nature absolutely helps! What kind of work do you do?

[@chenoah7963]

@@Trevco I work as a caregiver in a city environment .Very liitle peace and quiet

[@Trevco]

@@chenoah7963 that is some wonderful work you are doing, and I can imagine that the downtime away from people can be so helpful for energy.

[@chenoah7963]

@@Trevco Thanks Trev.Yes it is rewarding.You mentioned writing some childrens books? Do you still write?

[@Trevco]

@@chenoah7963 I still do some writing, I'm up to 80 different stories now, it's been a fun journey for sure :)

[@dorajones8581]

I fit in everywhere just hate being around people

[@Trevco]

I bet a lot of people feel the same way, thank you for sharing

[@paulinebryant1549]

You are lovely.

[@Trevco]

Aw thank you!!

[@tinamiller9599]

Thank you for sharing! ❤❤❤

[@Trevco]

Thank you for tuning in!

[@amdonut8091]

You chose the right words and we understood

[@Trevco]

Thank you :)

[@debrasbarkle4896]

Thank you so much for sharing this. I am trying to communicate with a recluse to learn the things you are saying, "Where are you going with this?", "Are you mentally ok with this type of lifestyle?" You have helped me understand a lot. I just want to be supportive and helpful to this person. Please continue to help the rest of us.

[@Trevco]

Good questions to ask, being supportive and helpful is all you can do

[@Biwabik223]

I am retired and love being a recluse. I very seldom talk and if I go outside my apartment I make myself invisible as possible by wearing toned down clothing, Nothing that draws attention. The only people that comes to my apartment are my son and the maintenance man. And if I have to call maintenance it can take me weeks or months before I call them.

[@Trevco]

So glad you are enjoying retirement, that sounds wonderful

[@Ray-xh6gb]

What do you think about new world orderreading books on hitler

[@Trevco]

It's a new world for sure, I'm a bit concerned

[@no_name5002]

This is beautiful. Articulated very well how I feel.

[@Trevco]

glad it resonated

[@santosturmio8189]

That's a very good analysis You're a smart guy 😉 😃

[@Trevco]

Thank you Santo! 😃

[@lakshan97jayasinghe]

This video feels longer than 10 minutes :)

[@Trevco]

haha yes!

[@FarisMonshi]

Have you considered writing a book or making more videos on this topic? I could listen to you elaborate on this for hours and hours.

[@Trevco]

It's something I'll have to consider! Are there any particular topics you'd be interested in?

[@FarisMonshi]

​@@Trevco I'm fascinated by the relationship between reclusivity and creativity. What you mention in the video rings true with my own experiences with periods of solitude, so I'd love to hear more about your creative process during such times. For example, when you were so prolific with your childrens' books... what did your day to day look like? How many levels deep into isolation did you go before you really felt a shift in your productivity (i.e. were calls/texts/social media/internet out of bounds)? And how are things for you today? Have you been able to maintain important relationships in your life? Have you found effective ways to communicate/negotiate your needs without alienating or concerning loved ones?

[@Trevco]

@@FarisMonshi Those are some great ideas, thank you! I could talk about that in future videos for sure!

[@FarisMonshi]

@@Trevco I'll be there!

[@Trevco]

@@FarisMonshi thank you! :)

[@Ray-xh6gb]

Is it better not to get involved in society read books alday and find real answers to truth avoid the job center books Tel the truth

[@Trevco]

Indeed!

[@Ray-xh6gb]

What about the hilderberg group

[@Trevco]

@@Ray-xh6gb never heard of it?

[@paulcooper5748]

Great vid i can relate.

[@Trevco]

Thank you, glad you connected with it :)

[@thierrydevant7690]

You are out of the norm when you become a recluse.

[@Trevco]

That is so true, well said Thierry

[@frankmurphy8221]

By whose Standards Thierry......Your Standards or that of the thinking of others, and what is the Norm I wonder, for as a Recluse the so Called Norm to be is Aliant to who and what I am, and I do not Judge Myself by the Standards of others other than to know, each and every living thing are entitled to there space in this World, irrespective of who or what we maybe, as long as I am not pointing the accusing finger of judgement at others for me being me, for it is nothing to do with the world in general, and when I point the accusing finger at the world and make a statement such as, it does not suit me, or they do not suit me, I must always remember in pointing that finger of judgement that there are 3 fingers pointing back at me! But I enjoyed reading down along, I am also a writer who does not publish his own works well for the greater part, for I never needed in my life that which many people strive for, to be Rich, Famous, or indeed Important, but found during my life that I was very much misunderstood by the world, but this was not the fault of the world but in how I expressed my unfiltered thoughts without knowing or meaning to cause offense to anyone, and so spent a great deal of my life in helping other people, but now I more so concentrate on myself, not in a selfish way but more so for self preservation, and for the greater part I do not miss what the world had to offer me, but celebrate what the world has to offer everyone else!

[@thierrydevant7690]

@@frankmurphy8221 because I think I am becoming one myself.

[@frankmurphy8221]

@@thierrydevant7690And is that causing you distress, or is it that maybe you wish you were like the masses of other people, for in relation to myself when I look back at my life I should have always been a recluse, for indeed I can see now that I did not need to fit in, or indeed belong to any thing Conventional. My problem for the greater part of my life was, that I thought I was one of the so called normal, LOL. but every thing around me seemed to keep messing up for I was not like other people, nor do I want to be.....The only pity is I did not see this many years ago, but then again the only day that matters is today. I was able to be of help to many on my journey through life, but not to Myself, some thing like the wounded healer, but for others and never for myself, and there fore I found myself used a lot by people I knew and helped, but that was my fault and not the fault of others, but today I can see that in where for years I could not! Nothing wrong with been a recluse as long as I look after my responceabilitys. Hope you are keeping well Thierry!

[@Trevco]

@@frankmurphy8221 wonderful response, I'd love to check out your writing work!

[@animal79thecat]

whats with the phucked up left eye?

[@Trevco]

detached retina haha good eye for noticing ;)

[@DailyPositiveAffirmatives]

​@@Trevco You are a better human than so, so many. You answered an obnoxious, rude and quite nosey, insulting inquiry with such grace and a sense of humor. Why people are so thoughtless and disrespectful, I'll never understand. Thank you for the quality content.

[@Trevco]

@@DailyPositiveAffirmatives thank you so much for your kind words

[@theewelder]

borderline gay,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,?

[@Trevco]

Borderline something, that's for sure

[@JasonAni66]

I feel like when I’m around people my energy is drained really fast cause of all the interaction, I can interact with people perfectly fine and be an extrovert when I want to but I choose to be an introvert because it helps me as a person to find myself, as I get older I get more introverted, even when I’m at the gym I tend to put my headphones on ignore everything and just get on with my workout, Even going to events makes me feel sick the thought of so many people in one place

[@Trevco]

Thank you for sharing

[@erakkovaatainen148]

I don't go to crowded places anymore. Only when there are bottles and tin cans so i can deposit them for money. I generally never hated people, I actually love people, but earth is the only thing I love the most. I want to be in woods forever. I live near woods just like many of you, so there is always a reason to go there. I have zero friends and never will have one. I am tired of it all. Bad relationships, can be. I had one. Worked my ass off for them receiving back next to nothing. Back to hermit life for years now.