Teach People How you Want to be Treated! | Stephanie Lyn Coaching

[@beckyqueen2409]

✓know what is disrespect. ✓start respecting yourself. ✓learn how to say no. Choose to put yourself first. Ask yourself: "Do I want to do what they are asking me to do"? ✓Learn to invest in people that invest in you. Especially in new friendships/relationships. ✓Don't emotionally react. Respond instead. ✓learn how to verbally communicate with others in a healthy way. ✓learn how to set boundaries. Know what you think is rude, what you think is disrespectful. Set the consequence when they cross your boundaries. ✓Your self-talk is everything. Give to yourself.

[@summaiyarobi4915]

👍🏻👍🏻

[@meenanaicker8999]

I'm always helping everyone...but no one is there for me.

[@coolboy-ty8kf]

@Meena Naicker From now on, be there for yourself♥️

[@JudiChristopher]

Thank you Becky Queen... You are so precious to list this... This helped me a lot.

[@TheMeghajoshi]

@@meenanaicker8999 u only help urself not others, be your first Nd last priority ,oxygen mask theory

[@TonyaA7]

You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate. That's speaks loud to me. And positive self talk and love ..

[@sandracampbell389]

Amen so true

[@leonorpettus7801]

Thank you Iam trying to make some pleplo to respect me but Iam not at that level Iam learning but I don't want to be like them this person dont even like them self.

[@marymaher4036]

What a person tolerates and patience,along with response to emotions, can vary depending on the situation.I know that I prefer being "a peace maker";so setting boundaries are necessary,but deciding what to say can be hard for me.Once you say and do something,words and actions are remembered.I do not believe in being a door mat,I'm a quieter person,especially within the past few years.This pandemic has made me feel very "secluded".I'm sure I'm not the only person who has been more cautious about going out.Hope my Life can help with choices/decisions.

[@marymaher4036]

To a certain degree.Blessings to you,Tonya A. 🙏🌹

[@leonorpettus7801]

Thank you I Had tolerate this Hate for years but Iam learning in jesus name .

[@unleashingpotential-psycho9433]

Learning to say no will help people respect you.

[@diamondlegalreader6931]

UNLEASHING POTENTIAL - PSYCHOLOGY VIDEOS Yes it does

[@debbieschepers2503]

Ummmm just caused threats if they didn't get they're way. So i finally got out of that CRAP.

[@linuxd]

Point blank yes!

[@rosesmith2113]

Self respect in every possible way is beginning Get far away from negative people and truble makers in your life and whatch your self how things are getting better You have time to make your self a better person and to fix your life Staying around negative and truble makers is going to keep you busy with there stupid thinking that you cant live with it and you are screwed up Its not worted even if is close family I realised it after over 11 years

[@folaabioye3315]

Very true.

[@oneofthepeople720]

People confuse respect with adoration. Respect means people honor your boundaries. They may not adore you or shower praise on you, but if they respect you, they will not push your boundaries.

[@mamagrace3416]

Great point!

[@fatimasamira3695]

Thank you. Really needed to figure out the difference.

[@mabelamahagan2793]

Very true✔✔

[@SarahSmith-nr2wj]

I'm don't think this is always the case. There are people who need to actually fear you in order to not mess with you, and there are people who have lost so much self control that you need to physically exit any shared space in order to arrest abusive behaviour.

[@evelyncayanan3917]

@@mamagrace3416pl

[@orafranc237]

You teach people how to treat you by what you'll tolerate. WORD!!!

[@lilamccown9843]

So true

[@glamgalnorth6320]

This is so true.

[@MS-ns4ki]

Stephanie im not doing it - waste time

[@lilacbazzi493]

People around me take advantage of me because I hear (from other people) that I'm "too nice". I am a people pleaser but sometimes it really takes a toll on me. You are absolutely right, it is sad that some people think I'm weak because I'm kind. They take advantage of me and unfortunately, I let them.

[@EC-yd9yv]

It takes much self discipline and self love and will be oh so worth it💙 I always put others first too and their needs etc now I have a chronic illness and v sick, they have abandoned me. I learned the hard way.

[@Wendy-fw2mi]

Beautiful one you can still be kind and put yourself first! Give them recommendations for options instead of self-sacrifice ❤️

[@anitacarter8060]

Yes, and some people take your kindness for weakness… You must have boundaries! 🤷🏻‍♀️🙌🏻✨😉✨

[@maudritouet6710]

I like this idea i think is true. It is like an unhealthy mother who see her child giving her some presents : she could this the kid is weak. That's why they have a wrong interpretation of movies maybe, Being simba who is kind with his friend is weak, but being sadic like scar is "sexy" and strong. That's how they understand energies perhaps. That's why the stupids hyenas follow scar all the time.

[@edithcasines9550]

Is so true, I was very naive, every time, they are nice to me, I get so excited, after the favor is done, the go back to there abusing way ,

[@kristinmeyer489]

I first noticed people mistaking kindness for weakness in the sharky office where I got mobbed.

[@diyadarapadmini3489]

@@maudritouet6710 e÷ee

[@ipkulkarni]

People take advantage of respectful kind hearted people.. I hate that I was raised obedient

[@homodeus8713]

Not everyone is worthy of your energy and attention. Feel free to not engage in communication with toxic people and cut them off.

[@msprecious3498]

Yes relieve the stress ! I have disowned my stepkids btw are over 30 sad but true

[@katierojas8066]

Yup! I have done this w a toxic coworker

[@catherinewylie6959]

Contemplating just blocking someone I met online and have talked to on the phone. Not impressed and don't want to deal with some manipulative conversation.

[@msprecious3498]

@@catherinewylie6959 hence the reason I divorced twice and am on my last and third marriage ! He’s learning as now I’m a tough cookie !

[@alexborn7142]

Thank you

[@mabelamahagan2793]

My kindness is always mistakened as my weakness:that is why I have my own boundaries.

[@dunning234]

Cutting Mean People out of my life helps me.

[@onlythetruth208]

When you are a people pleaser people disrespect you and will make your life hell if you start saying no to them.

[@tranquility9325]

Your job is to protect yourself. The hell with how they feel about it.

[@onlythetruth208]

@@tranquility9325 It is also the job of those who have been through this to warn others of what to expect when they do leave so they can prepare adequately. A woman who lives with any kind of domestic violence faces the most danger from her abuser when she actually does leave. These guys are psychos and therefore unpredictable. It is not a smart thing to under estimate them or expect the police to protect you. I wish someone had taken me aside to warn me and to tell me how I could have gotten help to prepare to leave before I actually did.

[@tranquility9325]

@@onlythetruth208 oh I know, I have vids on yt about that very topic. When a woman is leaving, or she's pregnant those are the two most dangerous times for her.

[@JaneStoller]

@@tranquility9325 Respect yourself first!

[@tranquility9325]

@@JaneStoller oh believe me, I do. I got rid of the majority of the toxic ppl including so called family members. It's nice to be free of their madness.

[@geraldgallo6632]

You are correct, life is a two way mirror. What you project outwardly about yourself comes back to you from other people. First respect yourself an others, an people will follow the path of least resistance. 👏👏👏

[@ayo_k32]

My partner (soon to be ex) tries to intentionally make me angry. He literally says hurtful things to try to provoke me. He talks about my dad who passed away when I was 15, he uses my past against me, and he says anything he can think of to hurt me and/or make me mad. We're stuck living together right now and it's horrible. I have nowhere to go. He doesn't physically abuse me but his verbal and emotional abuse is HORRIBLE! It is so hard not to fly off the handle when he's poking and prodding me and using my deceased father against me. :'(( Please pray for me.

[@sheisasurvivor8479]

I hope you can get out of there soon. It’ll be the best feeling to be away from that toxicity.

[@rekha5543]

D List He is a covert narcissist. There are many you tube videos to help in this regard . Hope this helps.Love

[@jazminehardison3643]

My "whatever" is like a mix of this. He is really negative and toxic and his ex wife was worse than him. Their kids are a train wreck.

[@carolloraine223]

D Lish If you can, go No Contact. Google the word "Narcissists" and get out anyway you can! You deserve only the best. Make 2019 the year to be truly happy!!!

[@ElizabethRodriguez-ed5rv]

D Lish where there is a will there is a way. Thank you for sharing this personal part if your life. Be strong and don’t look back when you decide to take that step forward away from this burden. It’ll be the scariest thing that you ever do, but in the end you’ll come out brave and you will feel that weight lifting off of your shoulders. Lastly, prepare for it all. The begging, the apologetic speech, the guilt trip, the tantrums, and worst of all the self blame and groveling. Don’t fall for it. If the person was acting right to begin with you wouldn’t be here telling your story. Disconnect from social media for a few days or how ever long you are comfortable and block, block, BLOCK that kid. Family respect comes first, living or not and that should be honored if you are being loved and cared for. If it’s not, then you know where you stand. Good luck to you. Give yourself time to grieve to, you’ll be fine.

[@Verbsdescribeus]

Such an overstatement - no one is going to respect you if you are not respecting yourself... Some people do not even know the concept of respec, they just like to be cruel to others. Period! Lack of education, native evil, pleasure, ignorance, there are so many reasons why people choose to disrespect others before reaching their self-respect aura.

[@breables1293]

Saying No to a Narc is the fastest way to out them in my experience...

[@goldn909]

LittlebirdGaming exactly

[@annlatham]

Yep

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

yes, and boundaries, or setting a boundary, defending a very small boundary, that can trigger their rage and initiate them setting out to isolate you from a group

[@diannewible3879]

Wow.... I understand fully!

[@palladium607]

Fantastic point

[@jeffre2719]

my summary what do I need to give myself? - self respect saying no invest into people who invest in you respond vs. react I'm only responsible for myself! I'm not going to engage with someone who is disrespectful! So I give you space. Set boundaries. Communicate your standards. Set consequences. You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate. your self talk is everything!

[@hippiechick8852]

Is being a nars a learned behavior or hereditary? My husband of 21 years is one. It's horrible. I don't want my son to turn out like him.

[@brujalinda]

I so needed this thanks

[@brujalinda]

hippie chick move out before is to late!

[@EC-yd9yv]

Children usually mimic behavior they are around on a regular basis...

[@MA7-6585]

You'll feel it in your gut if you are being disrespected. All about self respect. Respect yourself in these ways: 1. learn to say no. Is this good for me? If not, just say no. 2.invest in people who invest in you. New dating relationship. Give as they give. Healthy wall up at first. 3. Do not emotionally react. Respond not reach. Ie...they gaslight, you respond. Not react. Respond w/o emotion. 4. Learn how to verbally communicate. Do not entangle in toxic encounter, or relationship. Be mature, communicate. "Oh I see you are doing this, I am going to give you some space"... I am not going to engage with you for this reason.... And leave. 5.Set a standard, boundries. Enforce the boundry. You leave if behavior continues. 6. Your self talk is everything! Focus on how to love myself with words. Takes practice.

[@harmonyspacecenter7668]

Wonderful. Thank you

[@anu7982]

Yes , Thankyou ,this is important ,I had a give in give in relationship and finally I stopped .11:19 was exactly what happened in relationship and I walked away .

[@nastyalian1074]

Wow very well explained... can you pls elaborate the 3rd point for me as I need it the most

[@EC-yd9yv]

💙 thank you....much self discipline and love, oh so worth it!! I..😊

[@sophia08099]

Thank you

[@rudeawakening3833]

Thank you , young lady . I came out of a toxic marriage ; and just STARTED to learn all this at age 53 . Now I’m a few years older , and everything you’ve said - I experienced . So generous of you to share , God Bless .

[@RuslanaRose]

11:46 That was the old me, I've kept telling to that person how much his behavior hurt me and he didn't change and I kept tolerating it!!! That was far from self-love and self-respect, Today I don't tolerate disrespectful behavior anymore from no one, If I gave another chance for a person and he didn't take me seriously, he is out of my life, I'm sick of feeling bad because of other people disrespectful behavior, I had enough. Thank you so much for sharing your perspectives, Your videos helped me a lot to make that change in myself, I will be forever thankful!

[@AKREM-ro6is]

The people with no respect do not love and care

[@cozettem8226]

My ex treated me the same way. Didn’t care how bad his relationships with other women and his need to flirt with and talk to other women on and off social media really hurt me. Crying only resulted in him rolling his eyes and being annoyed with me. No empathy and blamed me for all of our problems. Still tells everyone I’m too much drama and too controlling.

[@نظريةكلشيئ]

There is contradictory news about the reference to global inflation 14 billion years ago 1-There is news that the Big Bang echo is evidence of inflation 2-But the second news says there is no evidence of inflation Because the gravitational waves are the dust of those galaxies only The first news contradicts the second news. We ask you to remove the annoying contradictions My question is whether the first news is true or the second news? Please space scientists verify the correct news Please send this question to space scientists .

[@DaTa-wm5yc]

Ruslana's Self-Care Diary happy for you ☺️

[@davidgough7332]

Ruslana, I like your comment. I just found out that I have bpd by watching some really sincere videos. Lucky for me I did pretty healthy things for myself intuitively. And I also finally figured out that I was raped by a Catholic priest when I was three years old, I mean druged and raped.my step father took me there alone one sunny morning. I didn't feel a thing we were drinking together in the kitchen, then they took me to a big basement and told me to wait down there while we go upstairs for something...... Next thing I know is that I was wakeing up and they said did you have a good nap ok let's walk back home now. Any way that is when classic hatman night mare torture began . Real terror. And I could wake up and run to my mom. And she would warn me to stop crying because Fran would be angry if I woke him up. But I think I did wake up to many times and that night the dream was terrible but my mom kept telling me to go back in my bed ,, I kept saying mom you don't understand to night I need you to cuddle with me....and now I'm having memories of that freaking lonley walk to my bed. Maybe that effecta me. But still the disorder I don't like to say disease, but borderline personality disorder ? That is way too much. So yaahhh the symptoms are both positive And negetive like the yelling can help build boudry walls but relationships are usually destroyed. But I am 66 years old so have pretty much seen it all.

[@carolloraine223]

My thinking is if anyone has to be taught to be respectful?? ...this tells me they've already had a habit of being disrespectful. They're GONE AND OUT OF MY LIFE!! That's how you take care of yourself! 😉

[@jazminehardison3643]

That is true.

[@rondae7121]

Exactly!!!!!

[@tranquility9325]

Tell it sista!

[@lisal440]

Problem is it’s all family and in-laws or coworkers.

[@tranquility9325]

@@lisal440 I got rid of family members who act ignorant. A lot of ppl will allow themselves to be brutalized by family just bec they are blood related. I dont attach to ppl whether we are blood related or not,fired!

[@kandybennet8847]

Thank you Stephanie. The older we get , sometimes we forget to set boundaries or how to respond to people to respect us.

[@mstwelvedeadlycyns]

And others have forgotten how to respect anyone at all because they are dumb asf!!! #straightupfacts #complimentsofMs.Twelve_Deadly_Cyns

[@yamieandre7700]

Please do a video on how to deal with toxic & sick co-workers & bosses.

[@PSALMS-oe7ri]

Yamie Andre Yes

[@agusaring9869]

Me too need some advice

[@karadiberlino]

Quit the job. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@jjmurphey88]

karadiberlino hahaha I was gonna say it but then I saw this

[@cynthiae.6016]

@@karadiberlino : A lot of people cannot just quit their job for a couple of knuckle- heads. Write a letter to corporate, sue the company if you have to...don't quit a job if you really love it.

[@CryptoProphet]

Responding instead of reacting is the MOST powerful tool I have ever found to release myself from people who are looking to use and exploit. It is also a powerful negotiation tactic because it gives us the time and distance needed to make SANE decisions based on reality and fact - not fantasy and wishes. With this technique I can actually recognize and deal with narcissists without getting torn apart OR letting them get close to me. PROTECT YOURSELF FIRST - Always!

[@KD-qc5fr]

"Give yourself a second to realize whether you want to do something for someone." That resonates with me because I feel like my manipulators do not want to give me a second. They know if I had time to think it through that I would say no because only they are getting any real value or benefit from what they are asking of me. I'm going to give myself more than a second. From now on, I am going to take a whole damn hour! Thank you for this! You do important work.

[@ClaireSophia]

This is really helpful to me right now. I love that you made it clear that leaving a toxic conversation is not giving the silent treatment when you are upfront and tell the person why you are leaving.

[@HeySeussGranny]

0:47 You'll know you're being disrespected by how you feel - hurtful, rude, inappropriate - you'll feel uncomfortable. 1:37 Self respect. Self- talk, motivation. 2:40 Give yourself the gift of saying no.

[@danniellepalmer]

One of my biggest challenges, learning to respect myself and know what I really and truly need from my relationships.

[@TealDwellings]

Me too

[@panzerman22]

Me too

[@carolloraine223]

Its all about what you WANT not what you NEED. Take care of yourself first and all good things will follow. 😉

[@angelrobinson5257]

I am right there too. 😟

[@angelrobinson5257]

I have been married for 31 years and now that the kids are out of the house I am @ a loss! The husband is in a pattern that I am just realizing that I don't like 😭 its crazy feeling who am I?

[@PilatesbyGina]

I love this so much. I struggled with people pleasing until I worked hard on my boundaries and priorities. Made it easier for me to say NO when my priorities were clear!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Gina Lee,your pretty smile can make the news!

[@daybyday966]

Love this message. I work in a toxic work environment , this message helps my mental health.

[@klhlime]

Thank you. Love your videos. I went through a terrible time in my life, darkest times. I'm going on 12 months of no contact with my psychopath ex. I could write a book here about everything I went through but I want to let you know, I watched your videos while I was in the nightmare and now afterwords. My life has gotten drastically better. I will never let anyone walk all over me like I let my psychopath ex did.

[@SuperMohan15]

Very good work on how to earn self respect and protect it from disrespectful people. Toxic and negative people project their hate on us only to drag us to their lower level. We should be conscious and aware of their malicious motives to protect our vibe and peaceful life. Communication is the key. Stating clearly our limits of tolerance will hopefully change their attitude toward us. If not then it's good to cut the cord and end the relationship. Or else their toxicity takes over us and we become one of them.

[@amachildofmosthighgodinjes6115]

Exactly 🤣 very well spoken

[@febiaivy4702]

Dear sir, easy to say and if, it is your grown up daughter? Please let me know? Have a lovely DAY today's.

[@shubhisharma4261]

No. If you verbalize your discomfort to these toxic ppl tht will motivate them and they will intensify their attack of pathetic behaviour towards you all the more. They already know their behaviour is bad and tht they themselves cant tolerate such behavior by others. So just stay silent is a complete statement and leave n throw them out of your life completely.never ever look at them again. Consider them nonexistent. Healthy ppl treat each other with respect you never have to demand from them. Toxic ppl can NEVER respect anyone.

[@SuperMohan15]

@@febiaivy4702 Yes I know it's very difficult to communicate to our blood relations. But make sure to keep it subtle and your emotions in check while communicating. If no change occurs in their behaviour afterwards, then keep distance and words to a minimum in future. Only attend important family gatherings while maintaining an healthy space. All the best.

[@SuperMohan15]

@@shubhisharma4261 Yes. Going Grey Rocking works well too!

[@bjewel3751]

I really don’t have self respect for myself: - I emotionally react thinking it’s normal and natural to reach - people please, always wanting to fix someone - negative communication; projection, confrontation etc etc - I let people get to me too easily Time to work on this

[@catherinewylie6959]

Me as well. You aren't alone. I am a very sensitive and empathic person and people can really get into my heart space easiiliy. I have to see it as old stuff and old wounds and codpendency issues.

[@nanaadwoa7892]

Me too, I hope am always self conscious and can handle these things when it comes my way. I always say to myself, I am not weak

[@karishort7561]

The expression on other people's faces when you leave your emotions out of your responses, is almost hilarious! Especially, when they expect you to get you mad 😉

[@smartcatcollarproject5699]

Maybe the most useful aspect of narcissists is to help us discover our emotions and learn how to control them, when they are trying to gaslight us ? That, and learning how to identify them before they can harm us...

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Kari Short,your pretty smile can make the news!

[@ukfetishblonde]

I do that, it really shuts them up!

[@quantinawilliams7063]

This ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@lindazhang8004]

yes !! haha

[@tranquility9325]

With ppl who are personally disordered, the more you do for them, the more they hate you. Over time, you give give give, and they develop resentment. They don't know how to say thank you, in fact they feel that you owe them.

[@sonjicraig6033]

True

[@MrSuperbluesky]

Weird but true in my experience still hard for me to believe that This is so

[@evei11]

Very true, i got rid of a leech recently and I've never been so happy

[@annclairepahlavi7622]

tranquility so true, just happened to me with my ex drug addict who I helped and cared for

[@Pradeep121212]

Wow couldn’t agree more, and never thought this is possible , but learned it the hard way

[@memoryrinehart]

Don't mistake intimidation for respect. You can intimidate someone but they will not respect or like you.

[@smartcatcollarproject5699]

Depends... many people only respect force and authority. Narcs are part of them, if you are stronger or your social status is higher, they'll play nice with you... and I believe a good part of "normal" people behave like that !

[@drebugsita]

I have always thought that I was doing my part putting up boundaries but have been frustrated to find them disrespected. I never realized that they require not just communicating but enforcing! So obvious but so hard. The self talk part is another key point. Thank you

[@gloriaadu5485]

Thank you i'm seventy years old and all my life i help people i'm a helper i think because i never had a family i try to fit in and if i do every thing right that i will be love. i am just learning at this age that i count it hurt to let go of some of the people that has taken advantage of me but i'm keeping to my promise to my self it is better to stay alone than to be use. i do hope i find my peace before i leave this world. wanting love is not a bad thing but when you have to walk a one way street to please others they are smiling and you are sad it's not fair. i use to tell people i'm like a clown laughing on the out side but crying on the inside i know i will be love if not by others it will be by me.

[@skryvazena6548]

God loves you ❤

[@SabrinaDacosta]

I can relate. And I second the comment above. God loves you. I walk with God everyday all day long like holding hands lol sometimes I get mad and ask Him why He wants me to be alone. But then I get over it and I sing feel alone anymore and actually enjoy it

[@nveras8175]

Where have you been all my life? The guidance, the encouragement, the wisdom you possess is something EVERYONE should be learning about and working on healing within themselves! Thank you for such a wonderful video! And for sharing your gift with the world!!! 🙏🏼 ✨

[@carolloraine223]

When you take care of Number One, youll then be able to take care of #2, #3....😙 Everyone have a Wonderful, Fun and Healthy 2019!!

[@hanlibadenhorst7837]

Thanks!

[@TonyLewis42]

This might be the best KZbin channel I have found.

[@happygoluckystar8069]

Staphanie…. If I could listen to this ideo 20 years ago, my life would have been so much better, happier and healthier…. Thank you for your work. 🙌🙌 You save peoples lives. I just wanted to let you know how much value and importance your work carries into people’s lives. May the world give back to you all the good that you do for us 🙏 all the best ❤️❤️ Joan

[@breakthroughmoment1647]

Like you said at the end of the video, self-love takes practice and dedication. I’ve also seen great examples of people who are self-actualized to the point, where they don’t have to set, enforce, or verbalize boundaries. They have developed energetic boundaries that people automatically respect. It’s like an invisible line, bubble, or space that nobody crosses over into. They radiate such strength and positive energy that no one would even have the idea to cross into their space, or “step on their toes.” I wish I were at that stage already because it’s easy and effortless and you don’t have to expend energy, teaching and “explaining” to people how to treat you. I wonder if growing up in a non-narcissistic, loving environment would be the origin of that kind of aura?

[@light3940]

I didn't feel like watching yet another self-care video, I didn't have the motivation, but I'm really glad I watched this one! I have a huge problem with feeling like I have to do things and respond in a way that doesn't "rattle" the other person, and that meets their expectations of me. If I say "no," or if the inflection in their voice changes when I say "no," showing that they are shocked, I immediately feel like I revert to my people pleasing ways, by giving them an explanation. I really need to remember all of your great points if I want to live a life I love.

[@Tachunda]

Absolutely awesome! As a former behavioral specialist with a Masters degree in family studies, I use and share these principles as well. Very well spoken. I'm sure you know that you are changing thousands lives one mindset at a time girl 🙏🏽🙌🏾💜

[@anic5805]

All nicely/clearly/articulately/concisely said. Thank you, Stephanie Lyn❣ Years ago I learned with absolute certainty that unless you continually cultivate self-love/respect/forgiveness, life ain't happening in a satisfying/joyful/harmonious way. That, coupled with setting firm boundaries will keep you feeling good/grounded/sane/self-trusting.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Ani C, hope you are with a good man!

[@anic5805]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 Thanks, Oscar! My last bf was a great man. Geographically distant now but still friends. Going it solo for now till the next just right soul happens by 😊😻

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

@@anic5805 oh ok,my dearest 🌹🌷🌷🌺🌹.I'm Oscar Williamson from the States.You?

[@anic5805]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 Nice to cyber-meet you :) I'm Ani from LA, California.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

@@anic5805 wow!😍😍😍😍,are you on Hangouts or Gmail so we can always talk 🙏🏻?

[@Kiroii_28]

Stephanie, I have tears of happiness and gratitude rn in my eyes. Thankyou so much!

[@aramideugbomeh]

What you're saying is so true, and I don't know why it took such a long time know this. Before this video I started to be aware when I realized that I grew up like this, though I dropped some people along the way but not untill I've allowed them to go too far, like the more you allow, the worse they become.and it's so sad because I wasn't leaving well. I'm 44yr, it took me so long, but I'm glad I now know what to do. Thanks.

[@andrearichard1583]

I should have see this video a long time ago. I saved it 4 months ago and just today watch it after a terrible argument with a coworker. I did not know I need to learn to respect myself. I usually say yes to everything and I never set boundaries. Then when I finally decided to say no, the other person start screaming and I engaged. 🤦🏻‍♀️worst mistake ever. I went down to that level

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Andrea Richard,hope you are with a good man!

[@decoy2636]

Changing my people pleasing ways is an important part of my healing from abuse both from my own self sabotage and the manipulating romantic partner I've been in a decades long relationship with. Boundaries were no longer respected and a loving respectful relationship just a fairy tale. Perfect timing has been my friend today. I found this video in my feed and find it to be appropriate information for my current situation. I'm grateful to have found it, thank you.

[@hisnewlife3543]

I even struggle with setting boundaries with myself.

[@tinaperez7393]

That's A REALLY good point. That means you don't even respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself, no one else will. That's a problem I have too I'm realizing. I've got to "self parent" myself much better (stephanie has videos on this too), and get good at that. But, at the same time I can enforce the boundaries I have that others need to respect and not cross and simply be more assertive (much more) and say no, respond not react, and not let them do it. While I obviously need to work on myself, I can get better with myself at the same time as not letting others disrespect me and cross the line.

[@catherinewylie6959]

I have a hard time setting boundaries with myself. around dealing with epople in dating situations because it triggers my abandonment fears. Even if it is not a very involved relationship, I feel loss.

[@peaceofpiety]

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! This has been the hardest lesson for me to learn as I had always been a people pleaser, doing things I did not always want to do, but putting the happiness of other first. I ended up get trampled on and taken advantage of. In my former relationship, the person always said, "treat others how you want to be treated" but the person gaslighted, manipulated, lied, and cheated. I refuse to treat others in that manner, so the person often times said I was "mean" for treating them compassionately and kindly in return. The person actually wants others to treat them poorly, they purposely engage more with others who treat them disrespectfully because they feel it is what they deserve because they have no love for themselves. When I was kind, they got angry with me and yelled as a response. However when I began to love and respect myself, set boundaries, and said, "No, I will not tolerate this negative treatment, you have to leave," they were outraged because I was no longer being the pushover they once knew me to be. I will not lie, cheat, manipulate, nor gaslight an individual, that is disgusting behavior. As long as the individual wants to be treated disrespectfully, they have no place in my life, because I will never be that to anyone. In the past that person used that manipulative tactic to their advantage, and took legal action upon those who actually treated them in that manner. Gross! I don't play that game nor any games of any sort any longer. Play on player, do your thing... but not with me! Nope!

[@jenniferdenys88]

Since I found your channel I found completely changed my outlook on my relationships with everyone including myself. I also have problems with self talk 🙋🏼‍♀️ I also have started saying No and learning that is a full sentence is the greatest gift you have taught me ✨

[@sallyarnold-young4835]

I have watched lots if self help videos but I find Stephanie to be the most spot on, eloquent and truth talking if them all. You make it very easy to relate and also explain why you are like you are. I am a people pleaser but have been shafted and walked over. I am gradually reprogramming myself to get "me" back after 30+ years of being in a controlling relationship and then discarded abruptly. I am now happier on my own and I'm on a journey of self discovery.

[@TiaJoy1372]

Thanks I needed this. Right on time... I've been awaken to all of the truths of my narc and the narcs around me and I am getting ready to leave... And not look back... Goodbye and Hello to the new woke me😊

[@rondae7121]

Tia Joy Good for you!! Be careful and take care of YOU! Your future will thank you.

[@victorialindstrom4633]

We are giving and giving that we often forget our own needs. Very helpful video.

[@anneg2570]

Just wanted to say Thank You! You have no idea how much I needed to hear those words and guidance💗

[@sophiadavenport3959]

Stephanie you're channel has given me strength to forgive my mother and not internalize her harsh abusive behavior.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

I’m so happy!!

[@johnnawilliams4268]

It was never you❤It was always her and her sickness she wanted to make yours. Be strong and do not accept what she is trying to make yours. You are free to be the loving, kind beautiful person you always knew you were💞 Nothing anybody says about us can change who we KNOW we are inside🌸And what we are inside is everything special and worthy and full of light and life🌼Please anyone who is reading this KNOW that well inside💖And may much peace and happiness fill your precious, loving heart💓

[@artwithmamafairybreadd]

I’m tired of hearing I need to forgive..if you knew what my mother did to me you wouldn’t ever talk to her...I cant forgive her...she’s out of control and her emotional abuse is outrageous....she’s even to narsistic to be called a narcissist...she’s enjoyed hurting me to the core...it’s been a hobby for her, but she’s taken it too far...she really truly loves to be a bully....and how she can do it to her own leaves me speechless...and I’m supposed to forgive and move on? How ridiculous....I can’t, it’s impossible, I’m filled with resentment that will never go...and I have too much respect for myself to forgive and be buddies again...why would I forgive all she’s done, when all she’s done hasn’t been an accident..it’s all Been so deliberate...so sick of hearing forgive forgive...what a joke....

[@katierojas8066]

@@artwithmamafairybreadd I agree. Forgiveness is made out to be a moral obligation. We don’t have to forgive anyone. I have let go of the relationship with my mom who was manipulative and abusive and by me not engaging nor fighting with her anymore is my version of forgiving Bc I’m keeping peace.

[@pixietod2205]

I will listen to this often its soooooo helpful ( although i would prefer you to speak slowly ) I closed my eyes and almost went into meditation !!! Thank you ☺ I just left my abusive husband on New Years Eve and i am trying to stay strong...he says he will never give up on getting me back but i WILL move on and stay strong. I am going to be moving and he doesnt know so i can make a fresh start in a more healthy way.

[@valeriehenot8047]

Go and don't look back...Be aware of 'projection ' and 'hoovering' so you don't get sucked back in for more abuse. They don't change , they manipulate you into believing they will... Learn how to ; 'respond not react', DO not give them the reaction the6 crave as they feed off it! Go grey rock, Go No contact if you don't have children with this person . Keep away from low vibrational ppl, and kerp away from their negative energy...

[@valeriehenot8047]

You deserved better

[@rondae7121]

Aaabbbccc Bbbccddd Take care of YOU! Congrats on your new journey. Be safe.

[@johnnawilliams4268]

I'm leaving my abusive husband also. He is trying to ruin me in every way, but after 18 years of his abuse and trying to leave him about 5 times, I have filed for divorce 6 months ago and I am determined to stay the course and get my happiness, sanity and life back from this monster! Stay strong💓

[@mynettamccutcheon8429]

Who are these people giving thumbs-down on such motivating videos? I wonder if they're the ones wreaking havoc in other's lives...

[@Sahhrahhh]

Hi Stephanie, I just want to say again how much your videos have helped me. I could almost cry typing this, but I feel like whenever you make these videos I am talking to a friend. Thank you for all you do.

[@Maryam7580]

Thank you. I don’t think I could have learned this in therapy. Please keep posting more videos on settings boundaries. They are very helpful

[@juliekostas7322]

So beautifully presented. Very valuable content.

[@monicalenahan5829]

I watch your videos every week and its really helping. Thank you. Its a daily reminder to have healthy self talk and forgive not only others but love myself.

[@robinstevens4853]

Love this video, it took me many years to give this gift to myself.

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Robin Stevens,your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!

[@TiggatherC]

Wow. I wish I’d come across this this advice at the beginning of my relationship 10 years ago. Now there are so many unhealthy patterns and he stone walls me when I mention unreasonable behavior. I’m going to start with respecting me. 💜 thank you so much.

[@georgemarsilio5122]

Most of this shit goes on in the work place

[@mylittlekittens]

@Nikaida Wheatley I work in NYC. Most horrible employees have an amazing amount of job security, therefore, everyone is forced to put up with them. The only consolation is that we get paid to deal with them.

[@mylittlekittens]

@Nikaida Wheatley I believe that when many people are in the work force, they find their niche and don't spend much time on self improvement. Many people also think "self improvement" is dressing and looking their best.

[@mylittlekittens]

@Nikaida Wheatley Looks like you are left to be the one to set a good example. Most of these maladjusted people are apathetic. In other words, they don't care.

[@hassanchop3622]

@@mylittlekittens well said. The narcs are all about appearance.

[@mily87ful]

George Marsilio yes! I just quit a job that lasted 6 months! Not sacrificing my mental health for no one

[@wildfeather]

iluvit! Presenting this material is your art form. In other words, you are in your zone while communicating. That is why you have 140K+ subscribers. Your rhetoric on the subject is clear, concise and deftly pointed to make sense and speak to your viewers on more than just an informational level, you are able to reach the heart because you share your ideas with heart. Bravo!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Thank you!

[@hnrey10]

“Hold on to yourself.” Yes!

[@annareimer6043]

Hold on to yourself?

[@gavinlocke2301]

So true saying yes and not standing up and saying no backs you into a corner. You doing stuff you don't wanta do with people you dont wanta be with. Nice guys always finish last. Respecting yourself 1st is number 1

[@michellem775]

I think a lot of times I stay silent and don’t speak up for myself is either I don’t feel like if I say anything something will change or I’m scared of the repercussions.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Most people feel the same way

[@mstwelvedeadlycyns]

@@StephanieLynCoaching Unhealthy because they want to avoid confrontations

[@daylightsun]

Thank you. I watched this about 2 years ago. I am much better now. My confidence has improved and I don't kick myself when I say no.

[@lauragadille3384]

This hard when my family is so narcissist. When I say no I'm considered selfish. And I know it will hurt me in the end

[@carolloraine223]

Say "No" anyway..always be true to yourself!! Be strong!! 😉

[@christ2ce]

I had this throughout my childhood having a narc mom. She accused me of being selfish all the time and now only I’ve learnt that this is called projection. She’s projecting her selfishness and turn it to me. She completely broke me down after countless accusations and I started doubting myself. I was deeply hurt and grown into a confused adult. I’m learning about all this narc thing through internet. All I can say Is never doubt of yourself, never doubt your feeling. Trust me, don’t give a shit about them. I’ve stopped giving shit though she still behave the same and go mad from time to time. Focus on loving yourself and nothing matters more than the peace in your heart.

[@tranquility9325]

Narcissists accuse you of the very thing that is wrong with them. Remember that. They might even call you a narcissist. They are severely sick.

[@loribuonamici1398]

@@tranquility9325 Couldn't agree with you more!!! Bravo!!!!

[@tranquility9325]

@@loribuonamici1398 ty hon💓

[@Wae_Montero]

Thank you for making this video. You have no idea how you’ve opened my mind with how I acted/reacted with my recent relationship. This is so helpful for people who somehow lost themselves. I broke my relationship, and will fix myself before I get into another relationship. Thank you so much.

[@joletterossi8019]

I cannot thank you enough for these videos. They have reminded me of the person I was before I let people take advantage of my kindness and forgiving nature. All your tips and reminders of self love and respect have helped me so much! Being me again and taking control of my emotions, handling negative people/situations, and investing in myself again has felt so good! Your videos and coaching have made such a difference in my life. Thank you.

[@lisac6139]

Hi Stephanie, last week I was confronted with the anger of my narc boss. I carried it the whole weekend like a burden, didn't know what to do with it and how I could help myself. You just gave me a clue how to handle this and immediately I felt a big relief in my body and mind. Thank you so much.

[@jjmurphey88]

I just discovered you! Thanks for putting yourself out there and sharing love by advising people at their different levels. I am coming out of a damaged version of myself- it’s nice to hear from confident ladies on being healthy again 💜

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Jenny Weeks, hope you are with a good man!

[@judithholleran6423]

You touched upon that inner dialogue. To me personally that is the most important thing you can do. Tell yourself every day you are going to make and you are enough. Thanks for a great video

[@superslyko123]

You've been there! Given us numerous steps to incorporate. You're farther along the journey. The 1 item I would add is TRUST. Learn to trust your inner voice. P.S. I like the sweater.

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Yes yes yes!!

[@loribuonamici1398]

The book 'Boundaries, When to say yes and how to say no' was a real life changer for me! The authors, Drs. Cloud and Townsend have a very simple, loving, easy to understand, non judgemental way of teaching you how to recognize people and situations where you are being taken advantage of, used and disrespected. And then they teach you how to deal with these jerks! Of course, we all know (now) that narcissists are mentally ill and deserve a certain amount of compassion, as long as that takes place FAR AWAY FROM YOU!!!!! I HIGHLY recommend this book to all who deeply desire how to take back their power, to gain control of their lives and who wish to experience peace and understanding in their life times. I believe we are here, on earth, to learn how to play nice in the sandbox together, and this book would be my #1 teaching tool.

[@JudiChristopher]

"Thumbs UP" I love this video... She is the REAL DEAL...

[@oscarwilliamson1264]

Judi Christopher,I admire your lovely smile 😊

[@JudiChristopher]

@@oscarwilliamson1264 Awwwwww Thank you!!!

[@WOODY-REBELS]

You have helped me so much. Your love of helping people see their worth, educated advice and empathy are beautiful. You helped me see myself again. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Aaron

[@desireegrant3313]

Why can't I take a break from this amazing channel? Great advice! @Stephanie Lynn

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

Girl thank you!! 💗💗

[@magenta4443]

I needed this video. Someone with mental issues is very negative with me. I was taking on his negative issues and allowing him to make demands on me. He forbid me to be who I am. I will be setting some boundaries and will stand up for my choices. Thank you!

[@artwithmamafairybreadd]

........putting up with bad , hurtful behaviour towards you...”your telling that person their behaviour is ok”....and if you do this, you are not respecting yourself

[@Katrica670]

@Art with Mama Fairybread what if you're afraid of the person/people?

[@javierrivas4575]

Omg loved this video, the part of disengaging with someone when they are being rude or disrespectful and the part of boundaries and having consequences if the person is not respecting your feelings. Helps me a lot . Thank you, now time to practice it

[@riabawe4480]

Thank you Stephanie, your words can resonate with a lot of people.

[@roserosa8586]

Every words you’re saying is just right I just learned about why am I feel hurt at my heart just yesterday it’s not because I love him but it’s because my heart trying to communicate with me that he’s being not respectful or trying to manipulate me. I think about my past when I say no to what I feel hurt they will respect and treat me better even I fail them it doesn’t mean they won’t love me less even love me more! I’m so grateful to have you here I’m new here and thank you for creating this incredible channel for people ❤️. You’re tune in with your higher self very clear and thank you for sharing those info ❤️❤️❤️ so clear and overwhelming info. ❤️❤️❤️ best 13mins in my life full of great words

[@JN-go2yq]

oh my gosh. the best talk ever. did you make this talk for me? thank you!

[@azmomconnection]

It can be instantly!

[@yamieandre7700]

OMGosh - everyone in the world needs to hear this. I have been working on this tactic for years and this video justifies how I when I feel icky, I need to keep my cool & walk away.

[@alaiaadam5767]

💫💫💫 Replay! 06:20 - 08:40 Don’t use abusive words and over react with others mediocrity and silent treatment 10:50 Learn about YOURSELF . What do u want and what u don’t want in a relationship. 11:20 “words” to use when someone is breaking boundaries

[@amritadesarkar3052]

Yes. Creating the bubble and walking away from the situation is best!

[@Kaimad3it]

This video has really changed my perspective. Thank you so much 💘

[@ellenyramirez7096]

I love everything she said it is simple and straight forward and realistic to put into practice.

[@MegaLadylove2012]

This was great. I’m choosing to improve my self talk. Be more forth coming. More importantly, stop reacting negatively to other ppls emotions

[@destineehill446]

Thank you Stephanie!! I really enjoyed this video!! I am 30 years old and I’ve been dealing with disrespect my entire life!! I’m extremely passive and I’m a people pleaser!! I’m determined to have more self-respect this year!!

[@redwoods7370]

Hard to face. You have to be willing to walk away guys. You first, then them.

[@not_the_same_]

Why in the world was I not subscribed to this woman??? Learning to respond and not react is the little nugget that's going to change my life!! Because I've ALWAYS reacted!! Man this video's content was needed!!

[@nataliebuchmann1726]

This is my goal! I am listening to this video on a daily basis, reminding myself of all of your great points. I am starting to feel such a peace inside, knowing that this is my goal, and I can reach it if I just keep coming back to these actions. Thank you.

[@jeanwills9268]

This video is so expressive. I earn myself so much respect when I started making funds. Had people leave but what does it matter. I know my worth