Ted 2 | Chaos at the Fertility Clinic

John (Mark Wahlberg) stops by the fertility clinic with Ted (Seth MacFarlane) to drop off a sample. But when the doctor leaves them alone in the sample storage room, things get, uh, a little messy...
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Universal Pictures Home Entertainment: www.uphe.com/movies/ted-2
Film Synopsis:
Everyone's favorite foul-mouthed teddy bear is back for a second round of hilarious antics and outrageous adventures, including UNRATED scenes you didn't see in the theater! When Ted (voiced by Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane) is declared property by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, Ted and his best friend John (Mark Wahlberg, Transformers: Age of Extinction, The Other Guys) must go to court to fight for Ted's personhood. With the help of their smart, beautiful (and pot-loving) lawyer (Amanda Seyfried, Mamma Mia!, Les Misérables), the thunder buddies for life battle to legalize Ted in this "wickedly funny"* sequel that will keep fans laughing right up to the very end. *LOS ANGELES TIMES
© 2015 Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Giovanni Ribisi, John Slattery, Jessica Barth, Morgan Freeman
Produced by: Scott Stuber, Seth MacFarlane, Jason Clark, John Jacobs
Directed by: Seth MacFarlane
#UniversalPictures #Ted2 #MarkWahlberg

[@misterpurple4089]

The Kardashian line made me shout out laughing at the cinema!

[@hughiebrophyHind]

Nice flm

[@davemustaki134]

Imagine the Kardashians watching it in cinema

[@niccUwU]

“Are you that teddy bear that came to life?” How many living teddy bears has this guy seen?

[@zacharysiple629]

I was thinking something along the same lines! :)

[@northvanwan7428]

thats your takeaway ? fuk.

[@syler100]

with or without drugs? 😄

[@jrc01718]

Pretty sure he took that right from Family Guy, in an episode where Brian goes back to the farm he was born at and introduces himself and says he was born there, and the man says "sorry, lots of dogs have been born here, refresh my memory, which one were you?" "...I was the one that could talk." "Brian! Come on in!"

[@a.maskil9073]

yeah that's the joke

[@TheOgrande]

This scene had me laughing so hard when I first saw Ted 2. One of the best scenes in Ted 2.

[@donmega100]

I felt out my chair

[@shakirrizvi7669]

​@donmega100 so did i

[@maverickmaybe]

"You look like a Kardashian."

[@MasterKen1803]

*"F*CK!"*

[@summerrose8110]

I love a good Kardashian burn.😈

[@unitedredoubl5511]

"æ"

[@dennisdawson9896]

Omfuk! I don’t what to say, to damn funny!!!!,! That’s funny enough to make you run into someone and drive away!

[@Acethespade-ru2jh]

“Dude that’s somebody’s kid”

[@IronManreal]

WE NEED TED 3

[@Liffey_Brown]

True

[@leonelbalderas8719]

After 8 years

[@trejones6919]

Seth MacFarlane is currently working on a Ted prequel series

[@JohnCage77]

@@trejones6919 which will be (reportedly) pg 13

[@jdad8726]

exactly screw the Orville

[@luisazanza9914]

“Where’s Your Non Jerk Off Bathroom”!!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂

[@andrewcruzsmith2343]

Makes you think , why does he need a bathroom?..

[@summerrose8110]

@@andrewcruzsmith2343 So you jerk off in public in front of people? That's pretty awkward and illegal if a kid sees.

[@jayy24195]

Funny enough every bathroom is a jerk bathroom if your brave enough💀🤣

[@scmreport2457]

@@andrewcruzsmith2343 To re arrange his fluff. Haven't you seen Winnie the pooh?

[@robertmoffit1135]

That is a peter Griffin comment. And not just because its Seth's voice

[@nickschauer4258]

"Where do you think you are at a reb lobster what are you doing?" Classic

[@DeletedDevilDeletedAngel]

"Who do you think you are a red lobster?" You've done too many mistakes which is understandable but wtf is a reb lobster

[@kimdeniske4554]

What's does it have to do with red lobster

[@nickschauer4258]

@@kimdeniske4554 honestly I have no idea. Probably been a story of someone doing it there once. But it's so funny for this scene

[@zygas25]

Red lobster is a shitty seafood resturant franchise. The bisccuits are okay but thats pretty much it

[@LilNickySchauer413]

@@DeletedDevilDeletedAngel your line makes no fucking sense. Listen closely and look up the line. I know my fucking movies

[@luthfannaufal9262]

The best family friendly movie ever

[@eliontopyeah]

true true true

[@sakshamsaxena7871]

as one would assume, seeing a teddy bear

[@luthfannaufal9262]

@@sakshamsaxena7871 turns out it's crazier than expected

[@rubenerstrom8059]

@@luthfannaufal9262When i saw ted 2 in cinema. There was a parent that brought their kid to the movie. They left after 10 minutes, understandable though

[@luthfannaufal9262]

@@rubenerstrom8059 lol🤣🤣🤣

[@jamalsampson9389]

I totally need to see this movie, I've already seen the first one. Seth MacFarlane is hilarious!!!

[@summerrose8110]

When he's not romanticizing the Meg abuse, yes he is.

[@Tom-pe4iw]

@@summerrose8110 God, it's an animated character.

[@Drekon009]

Oh that's why, that's why he sounds like Brian

[@VeeTHis]

This movie is way better than the first one. You really should watch it sometime.

[@jmoriarty8000]

@@summerrose8110that’s one of the funnest things about family guy lol

[@chybagus]

The "Red Lobster" gets me every time.

[@anushreebhargava0614]

can you explain the reference we don't have red lobster here

[@jrc01718]

@@anushreebhargava0614 Red Lobster is basically the Denny's of seafood restaurants, the food is ok, but not amazing or high end like a lot of seafood places, they make it out to be classier than it actually is.

[@anushreebhargava0614]

@@jrc01718 ohk thanks

[@Crazylegoman3791]

@@jrc01718 that’s a good explanation. Some other guy told me that someone indecently exposed themself at a red lobster.

[@jrc01718]

@fizzytoms3791 Would not surprise me in the least lol.

[@Robogeek28]

Holy crap, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

[@mustafafranklin]

3:44 NOOOOO 🤣🤣

[@matthewthornley1120]

#GrrrMondays

[@goon5725]

1:10 John saying that, Ted using the bong, and when John and Ted fight over the last beer, are my all time favorites of this movie.

[@serialkiller77]

This was a hilarious sequel. Damn shame it didn’t make enough money for them to make a 3rd movie. I honestly think it just came out when there was too much competition on the market. Still, I’m glad they are at least bringing Ted back in a peacock series

[@stephencurry3841]

Lol ted 3 is gonna be out next year

[@serialkiller77]

@@stephencurry3841 I personally haven’t heard of anything regarding a Ted 3. I know they are working on a prequel series when John was little that’s suppose to air on Peacock

[@Dark_Knight21k]

He sounds like Peter griffin lol

[@stephencurry3841]

@@Dark_Knight21k it supposed to lol 😆 he Is peter

[@jeffer1101]

Didn't make enough money? It pulled in $216M on a budget of $68M. It made over 3x what it cost. That is a successful box office.

[@HellFighterz]

"You look like a Kardashian" lmfao

[@phillipwalling7470]

"Fuck, dude! That's somebody's kid!"

[@dinodude5165]

“Well it’s not my fault a-rod you were supposed to catch it!”

[@phillipwalling7470]

@@dinodude5165 "We gotta find something to scoop it up!"

[@mrjeffjr1470]

"There's containers over there. Yeah! Scoop it up with that!"

[@bighippi725]

Ah, that’s not gonna work you need two of them, you gotta scoop one into the other

[@KokoGogo1728]

@@bighippi725 *shelf falls over*

[@user-ho1yn6ms7y]

“Where do you think you are? Red Lobster?” Still gets me every time 😂

[@Mrawesomekid57]

You look familiar Are you the bear that came to life? Literally talking to the only bear on the planet that can move and talk with his own voice

[@anuragbhaiya]

What kind of Ted universe was it where multiple talking toys existed!!!

[@devin4]

I think it was added on purpose, making it funny as its obvious

[@alphanerd7221]

Who's to say? There could be like 50 talking animals in this world.

[@afzalhakimbinzairini956]

Oh wait, another talking bear I know is that creepy Teddy Bear called Teddy Ruxpin. But unlike Ted, Teddy Ruxpin is very creepy and will keep you up at night for how creepy it is.

[@Chris-fo8wp]

My ex girlfriend used to work at the sperm bank, until she got caught drinking on the job.

[@NihilisticOtaku]

😭😭😭

[@quashaunnhoward8240]

drinking what

[@matadeverdoemden]

@@quashaunnhoward8240 Alcohol, of course.

[@uyokudantai]

My bad

[@julius6889]

@@quashaunnhoward8240 urine

[@KoolAidIsBetterThanCapriSun]

1:40 part got me always

[@Adamguitarherochamp1]

The word has to go out to Hollywood, Seth Macfarlane, Universal, & Mark Wahlberg saying we need a Ted 3 movie filmed. Immediately

[@kfnwuwbw9s]

I absolutely lost it when with such a nasal accent, Ted casually said, "You look like a Kardashian" LMAO

[@amyfeliciano5184]

I always love that part when he posted the picture on Facebook and says Hashtag Grrrrrr Mondays LOL 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 Best funniest part EVER!

[@mustafafranklin]

NOOOOO 🤣🤣

[@ThePhoenix539]

Peter Griffin and Cade Yeager together at this movie 😂😂😂😂 oh hell yeah dude this is cinema!.

[@supertrinigamer]

1:55 a bit of Peter Griffin there

[@SuperBoy-ps9dz]

2:09 love this part

[@Toko_Saia]

I died when he said “you look like a kardashian”😂

[@dgh96000]

"You look like a Kardashian." Fucking epic! 💀🙌🤣

[@abcdefgh6121]

3:30 the largest bukkakke ever recorded in human history.

[@Facade953]

Seth McFarlane steals the show as always!🤣

[@way75mit9]

You look like a Kardashian , I almost pissed my pants LMFAO , best line in the whole movie !!!!!!

[@unknown11200]

I tell ya this makes slipping on ice and being covered with freezing water look real good

[@lethalprotector2078]

No he didn't say he looked like a Kardashian bro!😂 😆 🤣

[@joscar062]

4:00

[@MsLilac88]

I love watching the Ted movie. 😊 It is just so hilarious & Ted is so adorable. 💜

[@elijahstudios6096]

This has Got to Be the Best Scene from Ted 2 Ever!

[@elijahstudios6096]

@@copralgistgaming8949 Maggie Geha is the Nurse.

[@dhinakarroy4907]

Whoever coined this scene is a legend

[@mattgerrish908]

The rack with all the semen samples falling on John happened to Peter in the episode of Family Guy where Bertram is born as the half-brother of Stewie. Peter ruined all the samples so he replaced it all with his own semen then later the gym teacher and her lesbian partner had Bertram as their child!

[@mrshadow4007]

That's a really nice Doctor.

[@DesertPackrat]

I couldn’t stop laughing. TED movies are insanely great.

[@welcomeparadise4433]

“Rejective black guys sperm” this movie is fkin gold😂

[@trainfire2008]

I wonder how loud the laughter was in the theatre ‼️

[@jonahkluger6136]

"Where do you think you are Red Lobster" Fantastic

[@dragons_hook]

3:44 that "NOOOOOO!" always cracks me up!

[@summerjonz]

I can't be the only one who can't un-see Ted whenever I look back on Lotso from Toy Story 3

[@josephlewis9237]

#Grrr Monday's always cracks me up. 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Please make a 3rd Ted movie!

[@InitialPC]

That hot nurse is Poison Ivy in Gotham.

[@seanhower5130]

I’m in tears freaked hilarious bring them back.

[@christinecool5736]

a little remembrance in someone's mind and a small place in someone's heart !

[@CurtisMcIntosh1]

Too bad can’t have a fundraiser to get Ted 3 made, but that’s a lot of money to raise

[@Bananakingchad]

Yeah

[@RaymondGadreault-ek3en]

Seth and/or his company are worth billions.. he can afford to make it and then stream it to bypass the weirdos in homowood

[@jimtru8048]

"are you that teddy bear who came to life?" No, it's just another unrelated teddy bear.

[@Mansonisthename]

Heshtaaagg grrrr mondayy

[@DarkZilla2000]

3:43 🤣🤣I can’t!

[@BattleRoyaleD204]

I like this funniest sence from Ted 2 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂

[@EthanAnania]

3:42 - 3:48 I really love this part right here

[@michaelmythology]

Seth McFarland is literally stealing jokes from himself now.

[@trippy_7416]

This movie is a masterpiece

[@CricNerd7]

3:58 😂😂

[@sega641]

I like how this references that family guy episode where Peter messed up at the fertility clinic

[@daryelmejia9385]

The world needs ted 3!

[@johreh]

“Like a Kardashian.” 🤣

[@samuelenglish7176]

The Kardashian zinger at the end. Can't stand those people that was gold

[@aegir8903]

3:29 LMAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@abdalazeezasaid8475]

We need ted 3 fine ?

[@kyleoelrich462]

3:31 had me crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@dolphinsfan3245]

WE NEED TED 3 !

[@DerekHoscorner]

Awesomeness job

[@demonhunter199]

You look familiar, are you that teddy bear that came to life. Lmao he said it like there’s a dozen of them.

[@agnesdianaracz]

At Los Angeles guinea pig Rescue

[@wayneshannon3028]

Was thinking the same thing😁👍

[@StuckonStupid84]

You never know, could be a midget furry or something.

[@agnesdianaracz]

@@wayneshannon3028 Shannon Leto I absolutly liked. Be carefull of RUSSO brothers, they have mashine guns 2022 and are in big citys. Éven searching in Chehish and France Riviéra. Where is it save ??! Near the ocean in a small fishing boat, what you can hit on them with 🎣. Sorry I did not known Ryan is a killer until I readed it in the internet 👎. 😫

[@alexandersan1073]

shooting blanks takes on a whole new meaning =)

[@KitoveSN]

“This is my Kingdom Come”

[@owenwoolnough7654]

I wish I could watch this for the first time again

[@dragonfox2399]

Everyone in the Theater laughed so loud when they saw it

[@Kaiju_2795]

“Where do you think your at? Red Lobster?” 😂😂

[@brianm8310]

MAKE ANOTHER ONE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@aandk2594]

Greatest scene in the history of film. Bar none.

[@darrylthompson7453]

This part I almost died at LOL 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@sachinsingh5100]

Omg ted rules!!!! Im binge watching the ted event series at the moment I can't remember when was the last time I laughed so much watching a tv series !!!! It's the best ever!!!!!!

[@Lokiproooo]

Ted 2 fue lo mejor 😂😂😂😂

[@TheEpicAB]

Universal, MAKE TED 3 ALREADY!

[@kenbeebug5211]

One of the funniest scenes ever filmed .

[@ibrahimolowu]

SETH IS A GENIUS 😂😂😂😂😂

[@lt2145]

Holy f this was too funny. I gotta watch ted 2, I've watched the first part and it was really awesome lol

[@bighippi725]

0:18 John what is wrong with you

[@Vismay_K]

I can't believe he pulled this one onto his movie as welll... 🤣🤣 Ted is mostly BRIAN GRIFFIN being a PETER GRIFFIN

[@willswalkingwest7267]

" Are you that teddy bear that came to life?"

[@aegir8903]

I love the movie so funny 😂

[@comicbookguygamecat]

We need ted 3.

[@MahendraS-mm6hj]

Great actor

[@huckxblueberryfan]

The best part of this movie was the MLP stuff! I wish Sunset Shimmer was in this movie! Also the spilled sperm scene was extremely gross! I bet that movie almost got an NC-17 rating because of this!

[@chum5520]

Bro you 12 or some shit

[@scottniesen4632]

Wouldn’t surprise me

[@jonathancruz5932]

Totally 100% NC-17. This is not for children. Only adults

[@huckxblueberryfan]

@@jonathancruz5932 Yep

[@michiganmanj]

That is disgusting and funny at the same time 😂😂😂😂

[@Futurama1000]

I Wish There Was a 3rd Ted Movie and a 3rd Paul Blart Mall Cop Movie

[@LoyalWolf4665]

Jesus this is funny, my all time favorite comedy movie so far

[@evancredeur7498]

Ted 3 should have Johnny and Ted trying to survive a horror movie.

[@debbiecrankin]

2:24 💀💀💀💀

[@antwon_arts]

We need a 3rd movie

[@claytonrichard2192]

Imagine what the audience's reactions would have been for this scene.

[@Ezrimustheblackconvoy]

*Walks into the room* CINDERS AND ASHES! What the hell happened here?!

[@hellblazer14dmn]

"You look familiar , are you that teddy bear who came alive?" Lol it's like he doesnt look like a teddy bear....

[@guccisteppa3551]

0:21 “what do think this is a red lobster”😂 ted is stupid lmao

[@AdrianWoodbanks]

Where's TED 3, we want it

[@magnumhadmama]

That's crazy.

[@medanaveesh7092]

this is nice