The lies our culture tells us about what matters --- and a better way to live | David Brooks

[@DanielKRui]

"Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two." Gorgeous

[@markcrooks4943]

Agape

[@tuvantrader]

Brent Scheihagen Look for a poem or the song “Believe me if all those endearing young charms”. It reflects this same sentiment beautifully. I sang it for my wife at our wedding party. 🙏

[@maryweprin]

That love exists in the Universe is one of its most deepest and strangest of mysteries.

[@bonnieprice9482]

We are one... together💖

[@RIYASHARMA-vc4ix]

@@tuvantrader omg thanks for introducing us this gem 😍

[@khalidsafir]

I love it when I hear TED talks like this because it gives me hope that society will awaken to its self inflicted suffering and move forwards.

[@jusayenso8186]

Khalid...I respect your concern for society. I wish I could agree with your hopes. I have acquired a lot of knowledge about human behavior. What I hear (and it all sounds so great) on many of these informative videos makes so much sense. But I have spent my time among the public multitasking and simply observed and listened very closely to what so many people say and do. Trying to teach most of them, basic proven simple truths, is constantly both frustrating yet fascinating. Most of them simply verify what proven, time tested, clinical studies about humans proved. They are way too narrow minded and can't even be taught even simple fact based truths with only one mathematically proven answer. Naturally, people will challenge my conclusion by claiming I have no proof I am right. This is a perfect example of how little they know about proven testing methods that insure a very high degree of accuracy. These obscure videos get less than .01% of viewership of the usual junk that the major media loves to report on over and over. It's all about figuring out what's not being reported on that is absolutely happening. This takes many years to just begin to become competent at learning.

[@tom-iv6lc]

are you sure about that. watch the TED talks where they say pedophilia should be socially accepted. SERIOUS< look it up. its on youtube

[@juanquixote4186]

From your lips to God’s ears

[@beyondthecircuit]

I agree, Khalid. Well said.

[@britndayz]

@@tom-iv6lc you dont think cases of pedophilia wouldnt decrease if there wasn't so much stigmatizion on the topic? So that people could be allowed to talk about it, theres a lot of people with ocd that have intrusive thoughts about molestation and they are so scared and controlled by their thoughts that they will break up with their fiance because she might never be able to make a family with him and is so afraid of what a person would say let alone a stranger like a therapist. We do need a massive reeducation, we can do the opposite of the Hitler youth, instead of indoctrinating anti semitinism that's heavily mentioned in the bible. There can be more compassionate kids and more preventive measures for all mental and physical challenges. Make sure everyone is looked after and for God's sake given women IUDs and all birth control for free and tampons ffs lots and lots of things should not have a price tag on them, they didnt in the past. I dont even know how to fix a broken toilet, any practical, self sufficiency was never really taught from my parents or the school system so right now I feel kind of fucked if I need to rely on myself

[@karenreynolds7109]

You know when you are hearing wisdom. It makes you stop and it gives you chills. Thank you David Brooks.

[@DJJonPattrsn22]

You are one of a fortunate few! Especially to have such a visceral experience to alert you! Sadly, most do NOT know when they are hearing wisdom and it slips by without acknowledgement. Although the answers to our problems and questions are available and presented to us; we usually fail to recognize them as such and cry out in despair declaring that God has forsaken us and/or the world is out to get us.

[@Logiconfire]

Poor David. He is lost and unable to save his own soul.

[@amarnandyala2800]

Absolutely! It was the same for me. I don't think anyone that puts the effort to understand what he's saying won't feel this. :-)

[@amarnandyala2800]

​@@DJJonPattrsn22brilliantly put!

[@Jessiejam-44]

It does Choke You up….

[@missc441]

"If nobody's ever loved you, do you think you can be a good father?" Oh man that broke my heart.

[@kellenwillett8263]

C Wilton I’ll say it. I teared up at that.

[@urduib]

When he asked that question, he took the first step forward towards healing himself

[@annebruce5135]

@@kellenwillett8263 me too.

[@gabrielgirlz2848]

I was destroyed at that moment.

[@honourharry4778]

I just started weeping at that

[@rtdmna]

Listening to this made me weep, I am not the only person that feels this. Peace.

[@williamthomas267]

Me too and thank you for saying so

[@p.moorewilson7917]

Oh, me too... first time in months I have felt a glimmer of hope. Funny how some people show up with a message you need to hear just when you’re finally ready to hear it. I’ll figure out what’s been eating at my soul. I know I’m close. And then I’ll go out there and REALLY make a difference...🙏

[@nimarosepiper6759]

Me three. Puts my whole life of depression and 13 years' bankruptcy in perspective. Stay broken open so my soul's yearning can take root.

[@briaf3370]

because he talked from this soul

[@ryancier]

We're in this together

[@davidfrey5654]

Bravo David Brooks. Empathy - Understanding - Connection is the core of a joyful life. A higher and more glorious life.

[@touchheartyoga]

where you hear intrepiation in a voice the speaker has moved emotional mountains to share their truths, Thank you David Brooks

[@freevpnproxy1669]

He is genius and amazing

[@hijodelaisla275]

What's intrepiation? Not in the dictionary. Typo?

[@aayzed33]

@@hijodelaisla275 might have been trepidation

[@FrazyLp]

This is probably one of the finest ted talks on this plattform.

[@monax9243]

At the end of this Ted Talk one word remained in my head. Replay. 💯❤👏👏

[@nik8099]

@John Fritz Nah, we don't need more evangelism.

[@elizabethecarlisle1045]

Boy isn't that the truth... Touche!

[@marjoriejohnson6535]

Watch ted talk..kill your bucket list...=

[@pivotal-ai]

"Pain that is not transformed gets transmitted" If you get hurt, don't kick the can down the road, take responsibility, show maturity. Transform

[@nellylama976]

Brandon Jones very strong statement! Will take it as a backbone!

[@TeamPill]

easier said than done

[@christinebadostain6887]

Kick the can AND transform---I love to "kick the can" as it were, while I walk my dogs!

[@bonnieprice9482]

This too takes realization, deep soul searching... and understanding... Are we ready ?? Then shift 🤗

[@joshlicht1359]

Right on.

[@bd048]

I never knew my father other than I was afraid of him. He never really came back from WWII, except as a shell of a man. I may have overcompensated a bit, but my son who is 32 now is my friend.

[@rebelstarrhaircolor998]

Awww so happy you were able to overcome that, beautiful

[@drunkenmonkey5678]

I am glad to hear what you have lost in your father you found in your son. My respects for raising such a son sir

[@cjmann3033]

My father was a WWII Marine vet. I don't think society helped them, or knew what PTSD was then. He was extremely Intelligent, but an awful angry, explosive person. My mom developed her own issues staying with him. I put myself through lots of therapies in my 20's, and didn't have a child until I was 30.

[@unclefrankindia]

People who went through war seen too much pain. Something we can never understand. I hope your father is in peace now

[@kenzeesullivan8384]

This made me bawl. My dad was a WW2 Vet too. My uncle told me he was never the same after going to war. He was angry all the time. Was incapable of showing love. Growing up all we ever saw was a miserable man who never let his protective wall down. I know this is why I hv never been able to express my love towards anyone especially a man. I hv hurt too many men, bc they feel I do not love them. I am cold, not affectionate. I hv turned into my father.

[@j.n.sloane]

So much to unpack in this talk. I'll have to watch it few more times. We need to rebuild families and communities.

[@sylwia0123]

@B.T. 333 Yeah, feminism being the biggest threat of them all!!!

[@TeddyKrimsony]

or rebuild society, genetically

[@ericscaillet2232]

@@sylwia0123 biggest threat is overpopulation that numberise people into units,feminism is nothing but a reaction to an ill.

[@sylwia0123]

@@ericscaillet2232 sarcasm, that was sarcasm

[@namastecolorado]

@B.T. 333 It is having the courage to be yourself, and love others where they are at, where you are at. Not creating blame out there but starting within to expand possibilities

[@bobpalka2085]

David, I often read your column in the NYT, some times agree sometimes not. But you opened your heart to us all and in that you opened my heart to the possibilities of joy. Thank you.

[@Martin-lf9se]

I appreciate the fact that you tried to squeeze a life long message in 15 minutes. There is so much that needs to be opened up in every 5 seconds of your speech. Thank you sir for delivering the message for better humanity.

[@andreaandrea6716]

Yes!!

[@focusbiz1]

This absolutely cuts to the core. This message should be heard over and over again if we are to emerge from the darkness that is enveloping the world, particularly in the West. Have you ever noticed the beautiful Innocence of people from other places who focus their lives on family, friends, and neighbors? They will die far happier than anyone who devoted their lives to getting that next promotion or buying that bigger house.

[@josephinedominguez8177]

You got that right! Everything is temporary. You don't take that bigger house or promotion. You take with you the love that you gave & received. When you pass, you won't be taking a U-Haul with you.

[@RL-lf3no]

6:37 "The heart yearns for fusion with another, and the soul yearns for righteousness" - THAT is one of the most beautiful and most powerful things I've heard in my life.

[@terenceseng55]

Y6060h

[@nothankyou5524]

It's also pop psychology.

[@sarahjaynewilkes3604]

@ALFONSO FRIJIO One can only understand from the viewpoint at which they stand.

[@alfonso3842]

@@sarahjaynewilkes3604 Believe me, even though I am not English, I understand what the speaker says. Surely, the talk is worthy of praise, but not because of the statement pointed out by the comment I replied to.

[@keithbell9348]

One of the ABSOLUTE BEST segments of Ted Talks I have had the pleasure of watching. LESSON 1: NEVER put things ahead of people. LESSON 2: I once asked a co worker how he was doing. His answer ranged from how he just bought a new boat, his cottage up north, his new lawn mower, ect... and I thought to myself "I didnt ask you about them things, I wanted to know how are YOU?" STOP defining yourself and others by how much money you or they have, how big their bank account is, how expensive their home is, ect. It is childish, assinine , self defeating and besides- with all the day to day struggles everyone goes thru, who really gives a crap?

[@soumialagha1836]

Yes it true what you told

[@saryarohit2925]

Made me shed a tear...😢

[@RantTherapist]

Same. This is powerful, encouraging, and send a strong message to those amidst suffering and trials in their life.

[@denselman]

AlexLordAlcyone Agree 100%. But you can pay your bills AND still have room for smiles and compassion for others. Just have to accept working either less hours or less money for a lower standard of living for yourself. Sounds like you are not there ; Everyone has different limits.

[@csg1381]

In short you want others to think and be just like you, because you are always right ...

[@kathleenmckenzie6261]

"Freedom's just another word for 'nothin' left to lose.'" Kris Kristofferson At one turning point in my life, people hastened to reassure me that now I was free. I didn't want to be free; I wanted to be connected. Freedom sometimes isn't worth anything.

[@GBC1025]

“If no one has ever loved you, can you still be a great father?”-that’s when I busted into tears

[@royramirez2560]

Dang that one hit me too. Hard

[@alexish8183]

Same.

[@neallampi8596]

Yeah.

[@liketruth8053]

@Rashmi Jain better not to be loved that to be tortured

[@liketruth8053]

I thought I was replying to the main post from Garciela

[@Tscoulbourne]

I’m 38 wow it’s like the friendships that are supposed to be long lasting, changed and as soon as there is a difference in opinion the relationship is gone. Let’s change that and start loving relationship for life. All we have to do is forgive for the wrong, understand, reach out to each other Especially in times of need I can make a difference between a better day or the worst day for people. I’m taking a stand to love and love hard for humanity 💯💯😉😍

[@sunshine3914]

@BMWMD1 - Most interesting comment I’ve seen on any thread. And I must say that I agree with your last sentence. However, I’m curios, how you would you feel if all the Giants were traded to the Cowboys?

[@leadwithgreeneconomy]

Depends what the “opinion” is. If it is an attack on other peoples souls, it’s doubtful you’ll find relationship in that. Maybe examine what it is you are going your “beliefs” to. There is a lot of people using beliefs to simulate belonging instead of relationships to have real belonging. Don’t give up on people, keep trying to relate. 🤍

[@sofiar8910]

interesting. I did a project on Brooks in one of my english classes- we had to pick a columnist who was of the opposite political party as our own. He was listed as moderate conservative, and I come from a liberal city, family, and background, so I chose him. As I read his articles, though, I felt something resonate in me. His writings spoke truths. Anyways, now I’m an avid Brooks reader and I really applaud his vulnerability in this TED talk.

[@jasondecker1460]

Communication, is a complex process, with the self it is a set of living experiences that is not a choice. Yet, to still have woke within the idea of choice, the idea of understanding forever changing. Thinking about "choice" did any "one" "choose" to be born? Is it a choice "who" "we" are raised with? What resources are available to guarantee the best possible outcome. The idea of Understanding when applied to choice is as complex and basic as reconciling the actual nature of choice to that of understanding. Given the complexity inherent to the specific understanding of the context of choice to the context of understanding, contrast must be developed to understand the way that these two ideas might be informing one another in sets of relationships determined by the definitions used to frame the relitive relationships of the two ideas. The ideas are so complex as to need to have multiple bifurcation of definition to alow the use of context for contrast of the structures that underpin these ideas. The complex communication inherent to a specific context of real relationship will be defined both as an individual ie: "Definition for Individual" and "The fundamental endosymbiotic relationship in context to the evolution of the environment vs: the assorted understandings and approaches to represented relationships in structures of relationships informed by relationships understood." "Choice" then can be understood with context.. first it must be understood that the majority of context that allows for the facts of life are beyond choice. To understand the possible implications of having choice only in narrow frameworks that are built on larger frameworks with little choice. What is the relationship of- "Choice" and "Enviroment" "Enviroment" a nd "Behavior" "Behavior" and "Choice" how these ideas are "defined" or structured develops the inter-linking ideas that become the framework or frameworks for how one can understand the complexity to understand "choice". Is understanding "choice"? "Behavior"? "Enviroment"? What is your understanding with this proposed framework? Jason M. Decker

[@ArtU4All]

Sofia R 😀 I have listened to/watched him for years on NPR and only here learned him to be a “conservative”. He is one of my favorites. Talking in a studio with colleagues while sitting behind a table is VERY DIFFERENT from standing on stage in front of hundreds of strangers. I slowed down the playback a few times. Now will play again at the normal speed. 🌞♥️

[@beenaplumber8379]

He is a moderate conservative, which is not a very welcome political alignment anywhere today. Yet he has always spoken the same truths and ideals. When moderate liberals speak like that, it's hard to tell the difference. David Brooks will always listen and reply intelligently. There are many other conservatives who are very far to the right who also talk like this. Far-right doesn't mean more like our president. (That's a concept that bugs David Brooks to no end.) Far-right is a completely rational political philosophy that simply isn't practiced much these days. It's as valid as far-left, and there was a time when people found it easy to talk to people who were poles apart politically.

[@babagalacticus]

@@beenaplumber8379 plz elaborate on what u mean by "far right" & btw, i don't think many of the ppl who r trying to pass themselves off as "conservatives" r that in any meaningful way. some r crypto-fascists (lou dobbs, rush limbaugh, dennis praeger et al) & some r just business ppl (tucker carlson, sean hannity, alex jones et al). in any case, what is this "Far-right 'with' a completely rational political philosophy" of which u speak?

[@beenaplumber8379]

@@babagalacticus That's a tricky question. I recognize that left and right are usually used nowadays (in the US anyway) as shorthand for people we don't like. My easiest reply is to give an example, like George Will. He is a brilliant man with great integrity, as far as I know (with an ego to match), and he does not take a position without sound conservative ideology to support it. (I would describe myself as a liberal constitutionalist.) I guess by far right, I mean people who take conservative ideology farther than is politically expedient. The ideology is more important than winning political office with compromises to the centrists. They are not religious nuts or fascists, but people who value freedom and prosperity, and believe it or not, equality. Most whom I've met (and been friends with) are good, careful listeners and well-reasoned in their political arguments. Those people you named are all reality TV stars IMO, except Rush Limbaugh, who does reality radio. They all have the sole priority of boosting ratings to make money. Not one of them is paid to be a thoughtful journalist. (I confess, I don't know who Dennis Praeger is.)

[@dschott1083]

David Brooks, what a heart felt talk. Thank you for your courage and your heart for people.

[@sarahsuero]

“Rape is not just an attack on a bunch of physical molecules, it’s an attempt to insult another persons soul.” Ugh, I felt that deep in my soul.

[@mattfranks4335]

I hope your ok ? Stay well .

[@sarahsuero]

I’m ok and still here, because being brave works.

[@mattfranks4335]

@@sarahsuero You poor thing I'm so sorry to hear that . If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here .

[@cruisepaige]

Yup we either become victims or survivors. It is so unfair, though.

[@realdogukan]

I am so sorry to hear that Selestine. Stay strong sweetheart.

[@KevinPeffley]

I’m a fan of David Brooks, and have been for a long time. I sometimes disagree with his columns, but still I find him very likable. This TED talk is one of his best pieces.

[@Tk1NE]

Bless you Brother David Brooks. I heard your Kurnhadt Interview and you have literally assisted in saving my life and those of others. You are a blessed Soul. I thank ABBA YAH♥️WEH for you. You are of surely of Agape Love Divine ♾️ I knew of you from the PBS political series but I was guilty of not perceiving you in your whole. I was greatly suprised. You are a wonderful humble and therefore powerful Spirit of Eternal Good. Blessed May you forever be. Your message reached this Brother in Kenya 🇰🇪 and I did my best to distribute your message of Love and Hope to the ones who were hurting, lonely and seeking like I am. Bless you Brother David. You surely matter.

[@dabeage]

the most nervous and vulnerable I have ever seen Mr. Brooks, there's courage there...you don't see much of that amongst his favored political party.

[@stacyhaynes4832]

Michael Schneider ...no Sir, you do not! Beagle lover here🥰

[@laurenceholden]

Speaking from the actual heart we each have is what is sorely needed now these days. Bravo Mr. Brooks.

[@carolburke5591]

went through the desert

[@pakpala1]

David Brooks loses his soul when he talks about the Palestinians.

[@carolburke5591]

@@pakpala1 disagree

[@venustape]

Thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone and sharing your experience, thoughts, and wisdom for such a time as this. Been in the wilderness.

[@connieback7577]

I live alone in a rural area. I like being alone most of the time. I know where to find people when I need them. I am alone but not lonely.

[@RantTherapist]

I think that's different. A certain kind of loneliness in the correct state of mind can be very much enjoyed. But only you could know this for sure, if when you ask yourself the question of are you choosing this loneliness because this is what you truly desire in the depth of your heart, or do you feel like you're running away from something? If it's the latter then you have some work to do toward healing, and whichever it is, I wish you good health and happiness. God bless.

[@stevepowsinger733]

Living alone in a rural area would probably terrify me - but then you can feel very alone in a large city.

[@DorothyT1]

I love being alone. I love having the whole bed to myself and having the remote to myself. I hate having to put up with stupid people. I fell sorry for people who need the approval of others to value themselves. There are many people who agree with you Connie. Thoreau would never have thought of Civil Disobedience if he had stayed around other people. I never feel loneliness because the world is full of so many marvels which you can only see if you separate yourself from the noise of other people.

[@bluesque9704]

You Cat! You Catwoman!! I bet you like cats...

[@nielsennful]

Connie. I think it’s a lot easier for a woman to be alone and live alone than for a man. It’s a totally different thing.

[@pastonaccordeur]

What a beautiful man... I hope more people could take a second to listen to what he has to say, so much truth and honesty to explain the social and cultural black hole we are living in.

[@17chucksters]

Thank you, David, for reminding us that living a successful life has very little, if anything, to do with our vocation.

[@christopherweston6028]

Even in my deep seated liberalism I have always found Davids perspectives valuable. He transcends ideology: a true value to our society.

[@nik8099]

He's teaching slave morality, which is rooted in ideology.

[@kooale]

He's always been earnest, and honest with himself.

[@TfiveR]

I've seen David Brooks for many years, and I can honestly say that I completely misjudged the man. That was incredibly deep, raw, and powerfully personal.

[@LordGreystoke]

Keep in mind that Brooks is now the culmination of his life experience. Brooks was not the man he is today 10 years ago. Are you? He went through a difficult divorce, among other things, and it led him to these great realizations.

[@TravellerDM007]

And yet he goes on defending the kind of forces, that puts fragmented traumatized individuals in the valleys, a GOP Party,for example, and a kind of 'conservative approach that conserves nothing.while also studying this so ardently what is there and what is missing at the core of much of human behavior. . A conflicted person full of denial about many things, yet willing to look and see other and surprisingly related things!

[@LordGreystoke]

@@TravellerDM007 Yes, he's a man of contradictions. Politically, he's lost, searching for a conservatism that no longer exists in the U.S. He's best hopping in bed with progressive liberals and other humanitarians.

[@Ludifant]

​@@TravellerDM007 I think that is because there is no winning when you divide.

[@michaelreidperry3256]

Political wonks are rarely willing to talk WITH others who see the world differently. They are conditioned to, and encouraged and rewarded for talking AT those labeled “the enemy.” I, a Liberal, would love to be this man’s friend and talk with him. O, what we share diminishes our differences!

[@ithacacomments4811]

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway. Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them. Help them anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. - Mother Teresa

[@ulalaFrugilega]

"To be rooted is perhaps the most basic and most unrecognized need of the human soul." Simone Weil

[@JM-ze2nh]

I have enjoyed Shields and Brooks for many years and love the balanced approach to politics you both give, so I'm not totally surprised but I am deeply appreciative that you have 'shown up' like this. You appear completely open and vulnerable and honest - one of the bravest talks I have ever seen. It has moved me to do better, thank you so much.

[@zzbell1]

This Ted Talk has help me so much with the desperation I have felt with this pandemic. The detachment that I feel from isolation has made me very aware that I am not in this environment alone. I am on the road to being broken open. Hoping that the person to pull me up out of broken is soon to be in my future.

[@shaunbrowne3963]

I watch David Brooks weekly on PBS. Lately I’ve noticed a change in his commentary. This talk explains that change.

[@barbaramelbourne9914]

Shaun Browne - Ditto!!!

[@SteveTheFazeman]

David Brooks has been unable to adapt to the political sphere since Donald Trump was elected President. Yeah, I was hoping Brooks would be sent out to pasture and replaced by a pundit who would challenge Mark Shields in point/counterpoint discussions.

[@phyllisfrierson5402]

@@SteveTheFazeman I am thrilled for David Brooks - his so-called "inability to adapt to the political sphere" has made him such a better person. I, too, have watched him for years - and I'm so happy that the snippy, sarcastic self-absorbed know-it-all that was David Brooks is no more. He is now living as a human being - not a pundit. I hope the same for you, my friend.

[@SteveTheFazeman]

@@phyllisfrierson5402, The whole point to the Shields and Brooks segment is to have a point/counterpoint discussion based on Judy Woodruff's questions. Because Brooks is no longer an effective pundit to counter Shields, he needs to step down so that a strong pundit can step in and challenge Shields. You said that you watched the show for years. Obviously, you value the opinions of political pundits.

[@davidm5707]

Shields has moved to the center, also. It's like an echo chamber. I wish they could get two respectful pundits to give both sides, but, in today's political climate, you're liable to just get a Democrat vs a trumper. There's no one else left on the right side. All the real republicans have bailed.

[@forrestbehr8778]

I've always loved David Brooks for his political commentary, but this might be the most impact full TedTalk I've seen. Thank you. Yes, joy...joy is the heart singing for everyone in your community. I'm blessed to live in such a community, and blessed again to be as connected to it as I feel.

[@Borboleta1212]

I resonated with this so much and was hooked right from the start!! What a brilliant and pertinent speech, delivered with eloquence and vulnerability . I’m a Millennial (32 y.o) living in the UK. Community is SO important ~ Covid-19 has accentuated the importance of this. I particularly loved what he said about difference between happiness and joy towards the end. Definitely one of the best TED talks I’ve ever watched. Thank you Mr Brooks!!

[@vanessacorey200]

"If nobody's ever loved you, do you think you can be a good father?" I think most people often forget to seriously include themselves as someone who either loves them or doesn't. You can love yourself, whether that comes naturally to you or you have to choose to learn to love yourself....even if you assume that no one else does. If you love yourself well, you can love others. And yes, I realize this video was posted a few years ago. Still true.

[@nkjassal]

I've gotten to know David Brooks on PBS' Friday analysis. My goodness, the man's got heart. I was really moved by his words. Bless us all and our journeys.

[@ellep.6204]

Over the course of my journey towards "fulfillment" I have watched many, many TED Talks about joy, relationships, self-discovery, and personal values, but man oh man does this one take the cake. So much covered in 15 minutes.

[@shirleykurtz]

I was never impressed with David before. I'm amazed and happy to see who he really is! Ted talk showed me a really good part of David!

[@DraconaiMac]

This man was terrified to talk to us. I"m so proud of him.

[@carycareycarrie4445]

I have a sticker on my computer that goes with me everywhere, "Speak up even if your voice shakes". That would be me, too.

[@moderoy]

This man is a regular on national shows like Meet the Press. Why would he be terrified of this? I think it's just how he always sounds.

[@kusheran]

@@moderoy Vulnerability

[@J.M.-nb4gw]

Are you serious? David Brooks is a despicable lying right wing scumbag

[@Will-wb6xl]

@@J.M.-nb4gw I've never heard of this man before this video and all I heard was deep truths. All people are capable of change.

[@VitalityMassage]

I love watching David every Friday on PBS news. He's so awesome.

[@FathomlessJoy]

Sort of a lying political shill. Like the world doesn't have enough of those.

[@rafo54]

The best Republican ever seen or hear, Im totally Independent

[@inveele]

Mark Shields makes David better

[@weantoine]

@@rafo54 LOL he is and denounces Trump because he is so honest. Sometimes we can believe in a thing but not the leader of said thing. We have to make choices. I did too. This guy is smart.

[@brucemckean2848]

@@FathomlessJoy What an appropriate (disguised) name you use. Sad.

[@QuinnPrice]

“If We Do Not Transform Our Pain, We Will Most Assuredly Transmit It” Richard Rohr

[@Soapandwater6]

I've admired David Brooks for his opinions on PBS News Hour, so I thought I would like to hear his Ted Talk. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and truth with us. Wishing you love and joy!

[@RJTAYLORUNSCARRED]

"If happiness is what you're after, you're going to be disappointed more times than not. But joy is different... joy is a constant."

[@DJJonPattrsn22]

True, although I personally contend that "meaning" would be a more appropriate goal that even joy.

[@coloradoron2296]

I am truly humbled by the wisdom of this talk. One of the best 15 minutes I have spent in listening to someone else's views on life, service to others, and joy. Thank you, David Brooks.

[@RantTherapist]

For me, it didn't even feel like 15 minutes, even when I rewinded a couple of times to re-listen to an idea or message. Genuine talks like this, genuine communication from the heart tend to have this kind of time stopping or getting lose in time power. It's like that good friend you love and cherish so much and that late night talk you have on many subjects and you just flow, until you notice daybreak coming through the shutters. Indeed, indeed. Lovely comment by the way.

[@MaySmithereen]

"If no one has ever loved you, do you think that you can be a good father?" That was one deep, sad question.

[@steveknight4291]

Instant heartbreak

[@humanearthling4661]

Yes. Great that you recognize its importance. It was the one that caused me to cry out loud. My children had often told me that I loved the other child more but they got by....and my son turned out to be the best father on the face of the Earth, paying for all his daughter's college and everything involved in her path to Registered Nurse so she faces the future debt free. My daughter has not had children. We are all closer today than we were five years ago due to my refusal to react with hurt at the snide comments tossed my way by both of my children from time to time. I knew they were coming from the the disassociated nature we had entered into because of the demands of the culture to hustle every minute of our lives just to keep our heads above the poverty line. So of course, the children felt a bit neglected. But they grew strong nevertheless. We have made it to a stage where all the petty complaints to the parents (of which I am the only one left) have been abandoned. This was a great speech. It touched many levels emotionally.

[@benjaminfonseka4951]

Obesity, opioid addiction, high divorce rates, what has the west gained from exploitation? The rich who are behind government don’t spare their own. In such a society how can there be any love? Every rich westerner once they become rich come to east for enlightenment but can’t see the mirror.

[@estoyaqui5386]

@Climate C. Heretic I think you didn´t get the message. It is not about blame, but about making the best out of it - despite all. But maybe i am missing the point too :)

[@mitzabiciclista]

My father was born right after the war and his mother had to give him away because they have lost everything in the war. He grew up in an orphanage where love was never present. I must tell you that he was the most loving father and husband. In ways that i can not explain, we were poor but happy, but that for me was normal, until i grew up and i saw that not all fathers were like mine. I am an educated adult now and i can tell you 100% that love is inside us. Unless a man suffers some kind of sick abuses in childhood that severely broke him on the inside, that man can be a great father.

[@annettelegaspi7703]

The most beautiful part of our lives is when we’re connected to others.. God, family, friends and even strangers. Thank you ❤

[@JavierBonillaC]

Although I completely agree about isolation and the need to see it as our main problem, I don’t believe that exercising your skills is not fulfilling. Much of my happiness in life comes from that.

[@allegrodancearts152]

"The happiness of pursuit"

[@likearockcm]

I very much respect and admire Mr. Brooks for his intellect and compassion.

[@DavidWaeldervideo]

One of the best ted talks ever

[@RantTherapist]

Agreed. Literally every person needs to watch this. Because if you don't think this will touch you now, it still will sometime in your life. It's just that sometimes people are going full speed with blinders on and they don't often take a good rest stop to really look. Wish more did.

[@katyjanke8319]

👍

[@marjoriejohnson6535]

Watch on ted talks " kill your bucket list"

[@lenybluesky2773]

Definitely

[@robertolopez982]

I think so as well

[@KyokushinKichiKai]

This was one of the best TED Talks I've ever heard! The depth and feeling of true spirit!

[@johanterbeek7864]

One of the best and rich TED talks i have ever heard.

[@lucynourse4836]

I have always admired and respected you David especially with Mark on PBS. You are brave to share and I know it will help us to hear. God Bless Us All. It is a rough world.

[@RNFORLAW]

Truth be told the soul of America was sold out to the corporate interests long time ago. Materialism is the ebb and flow and it makes people soul less zombies.....I refuse to play that game anymore ~

[@bobburnitt5389]

The Consumer economy, mindless consuming. BB

[@UnveilingtheSacred]

let's create a better way.

[@scarlet132011]

Yes yes and yes

[@MichaelDarlingCo]

@@wwayne2318 fighting is losing

[@viberant7599]

@@MichaelDarlingCo Better lose than encourage that behavior.

[@rasbijalpatel310]

What a wonderful self discovery. Beautiful words given to the right feelings and solutions. The people you stumbled upon are due to the fact that NOW you were out seeking it,earlier you just passed it. Love has stricken you,and what a way it did. Blessed life starts.

[@Norimarisu]

You all need some Latinos in your life. We will hug you, feed you and ask you about your day without even knowing you. It really is a cultural thing sometimes. It's so cold and lonely in the states sometimes... a lot of times. People get freaked out if I treat them the same way I would treat people back home. Over here if you try to help an old lady put her groceries in her car she thinks you are hing to steal from her. Here if you hug a guy hello and good bye he thinks you have a crush on him. Heck, even if you go volunteer at a place more than twice people start to treat you like if you were being paid to be there and start giving you ... poo. I invite all of those who can to travel and experience other cultures because this guy is right.

[@goebelhousehold9856]

Nory-Chan so true!!! Everyday all the time even if we see each other more than once in a day. I have taught my kids that this Latino greeting shows you value, honor, and respect the person in front of you! It shows you are open to a relationship of friendship and does show vulnerability. We do get hurt sometimes from it but when it works...it lights souls on fire! Life long relationships!

[@juanquixote4186]

There’s a lot of truth in that

[@MatthewAGilbert]

I was born and raised in the US, but am now married to a Latina from Peru; I finally understand what family really is and how I can be a better version of myself because of it.

[@Norimarisu]

@Fred Wright , no but I feel like I should tell you that it's Sotomayor as in SotoMayor. I have 2 last names. My name is Normaris Gonzalez Tosado, nice to meet you.

[@FBeckenbauer4]

@@Norimarisu This is only half true. The extremes in Latin countries and South East Asian and African countries is more common, mostly due to poverty. Some people treat each other better as they rely on each other and others commit horrible crimes every day and get away with it due to widespread corruption, something western countries don't have to deal with as much. There is an abundance of everything so people are far more indifferent to each other. As Latin countries change in wealth so will the culture.

[@mosienko1983]

I had been watching a number of Ted talks and I went to bed marveling at how all of the speakers were so amazing - how did they do this? They aren't even using any notes! Then the first talk I look at this morning is this one. He's nervous. He has notes. He talks too fast sometimes. But what he said was just as a marvelous as the others (even more so than some). Thank you David Brooks for giving us this, even though it was so hard for you. I love you for that.

[@Newuxtreme]

They have 1) done this probably 15 20 times before stepping on stage no first timer can just hop on stage. 2) There are teleprompter and such below

[@thinkoutsidetherock]

Beautiful language. Beautiful soul. The lines of brilliance are endless. I am so moved.

[@dungteller367]

The honesty here is beautiful. The fact that life is one movement is just that a fact. We have created divisions where none actually exist, liberal and conservative are the division's.

[@michaelgilbertsr3107]

So why do humans construct these artificial (separateness)?

[@dungteller367]

@@michaelgilbertsr3107 I think that humanity has taken a wrong turn. The wrong turn is manifesting through the self, the self is a way for us to interface with our environment, human thought has made this self "the center" and it really isn't. My observation is that what I call myself arises in thought,.other than that self except for the need to interface has no actual existence. This is not a new idea of course the Buddhist have made this notion of self quite clear. dungteller.com is my blog. What do you think?

[@Sqlut]

@@dungteller367 you should read Freud's book on the matter "civilization and its discontents"

[@dungteller367]

@@Sqlut I will

[@michaelgilbertsr3107]

@@dungteller367 , (I) is the result of the need to feel. (We) is the result of accepting OUR interconnectedness. It's not easy, partly because humans are inherently selfish. Ignoring the inherent manifestation for love, we substitute a multitude of failings instead.

[@redshift6743]

As a 40-year old living in an apartment, having lost all of those I hold dear - this sure rings true.

[@nsjx]

That is a tough age as it is

[@a7i20ci7y]

Been there. It's painful, but transformative. Be patient with yourself.

[@peterhajdu6488]

That’s exactly what you said! Same here.

[@lovehumanity6468]

Whats the story behind ur sorrows !

[@DrewciferTek]

This too shall pass

[@LasseThomsen]

One of the best TED talks in years, well done David.

[@gregruland1934]

He brings me to tears with his sincere authenticity. God Bless, you David.

[@goraiebfred]

I'm a big fan of this man, watched him on PBS Newshour for years and appreciated his insights, and his humanity. He's perhaps one of the most honest journalists out there, not a Republican partisan but a pragmatic, unbiased political pundit who spoke from the heart, a truly smart man and a great human being. Thank you, David for all you do and please continue, we love to hear from you.

[@mr.e695]

Beautiful man, beautiful message! David Brooks, I sincerely hope that you come and read this and remember for the next time that we're all on your side buddy!!

[@jacobopstad5483]

"If nobody's ever loved you, can you still be a good father?" That story made me cry.

[@shannonstone290]

Me too

[@4thassassin]

felt that aswell

[@justniobe]

Tears to my eyes

[@charlieplayzdxb]

Jacob Opstad me too!!

[@lwaves]

+Jacob Opstad That was a great line (bad way of putting it) and the answer is a definite YES. I can only speak from second hand experience but the right person can take that lack of love, that wanting to be loved, and transfer it as love to the child, making the child incredibly loved. It all depends on the person, not whether they've been loved or not.

[@carolginsberg662]

This really moved me. I’ve always loved watching David Brooks and Mark Shields on PBS on Friday evening. Now, I will love it even more. Thank you, David.

[@scribblydoodle2924]

Love Love Love David Brooks. Shared with all my friends in ACA. More than I could get sitting in any pew in any church. Davod has truly has risen to that new level of consciousness.

[@soulsurvivorla]

Wow! I know David Brooks as this conservative and that is the limited lens through which I have always judged him. And I have seen him in interviews and in this talk am left wondering who is this person because this person is amazing, compassionate, and he hugs. This talk brought tears of joy and gratitude to my eyes. And the lens through which I have seen him in the past has widened and is clearer.

[@Darmouthable]

"I can make myself happy." Absolutely true, I can make myself happy, but a good job, losing more weight, doing yoga, etc. won't necessarily make me happy in and of themselves. The lie in that statement is the implication that happiness is a destination I get to and hang out at for a while. Happiness, like other emotions, is a controllable response to external stimuli based on my own expectations. It isn't meant to last forever, and I think it's important not to be happy all the time. "Will [X] make me happy?" No, it won't, but my expectations surrounding it, combined with the outcome I obtain from following it, very well might.

[@djayjp]

He meant alone.

[@morganthem]

... psychological word games

[@wildflower20102]

Thank you for sharing this side of yourself, David. Beautiful.

[@davidm5707]

You could hear the emotion in his voice. I'm glad he's more than just a political pundit.

[@utubefreshie]

@@davidm5707 Also, you can tell he's not really a public speaker. He's trembling and a bit nervous. But for me, this vulnerability is what makes him more authentic and relatable. He's not just a talking head on TV. I always liked his political analyses on PBS but this makes me appreciate him more.

[@davidm5707]

@@utubefreshie I liked him too, because was always reasonable. Him, and David Gergen.

[@kathri1006]

Sincere comments. Surprisingly and paradoxically, once the self dissolves, everything is enough. Finding the path to how to, is one's challenge and education.

[@tomolegend6128]

His speech echoed what I experienced--enlarging your consciousness. I was filled with pain and buried in darkness when something happened in my life. It is transformation of my consciousness through religion (spirituality) that has saved me. Yes, deep down in our soul there is fountain of Love, Goodness and Joy. Through deep prayer (meditation), one can gradually connect with it.

[@Padoinky]

I’ve been a fan of his political and social commentary (NPR, PBS, NY Times) for years now, but I have never before experienced the vulnerability he has demonstrated/shared herein.... he literally seems to be having a cathartic experience during his talk - his voice, tone, delivery, pauses and even slight stammering, convey a person speaking from the heart of his being... BRAVO Mr. Brooks!!👍👏🙏

[@letalee]

Profoundly honest and powerful.

[@harrykersey9086]

Reminds me of my first acid trip ! When I realized how phoney we are as a culture , and how good it felt to wash off the plastic ! Many never arrive at the place where he is at now. Our place is to absorb some of his pain as a collective and show love that he's trying to share with us !

[@kdmdlo]

I have always respected David Brooks for his insights, and this talk (also see his book, "The Second Mountain") is great. However, I see one problem that he does not address. At the end of the talk he said, "A small group of people found a better way to live and the rest of us copy them." The problem is that changing to this mode of living requires sacrifice and work; it doesn't simply happen by on day saying, "I've changed." Many people (American's in particular) are simply too lazy to change. They're so mired down in their disfunction that they can't make a change. It seems to me that finding a way to reach down and pull people out of that life is the challenge.

[@ripadipaflipa4672]

David Brooks found himself and should be proud of who he found. Each week I look forward to hearing his take on PBS NewsHour. Tragically he speaks truth about so many fellow neighbors, friends and family. Do what might feel difficult at first, reach out to others because they also are in need of the same from others. This is the second x I have listened to this TED talk and would love if everyone would hear what David is sharing.

[@laureanegagnon2330]

Thank you, you made me realize the valley I am in, can be climbed out from. My boyfriend had a major stroke and has lost certain feelings, sadness, anger, empathy, love and I am melting into the Valley and trying to survive the lack of intimacy and struggling to just make it each day. We live apart so it makes it extremely difficult that I need something that he does not need or cannot provide. Thank you for that Ted talk.

[@margerybritton793]

What a beautiful, heartfelt message.

[@megmathisen5368]

Thank you for this Ted talk... absolutely beautiful and so relevant. I’m lonely and sad and working toward becoming a weaver.

[@TetyanaS-vi7gx]

“You suffer your way to wisdom”… so true

[@CaminoAir]

I've been watching David Brooks and Mark Shields on their weekly PBS segment for several months. I'm impressed with both men and even more impressed with Brooks after watching this TED talk.

[@shirleykurtz]

Thanks to this tedtalk David seems more real to me. On PBS Shields seems more sincere. David is showing his real self in this!

[@maried.1831]

David Brooks, you are such a beautiful soul!

[@darkliasons]

Wow! That was incredible. I got chills several times during this talk. I've already googled Roots of Empathy and plan to get involved. Thank you so much for sharing this video.

[@nothankyou5524]

As someone once said, "If reading one book changes your life, you aren't reading enough".

[@AlexHop1]

Wow! I've always like David Brooks, even though I've not usually agreed with his political views. In this TED Talk, he has hit a new high. He has hit on something BIG, BIG, BIG!!!Thank you, David Brooks, for being you (and having "above average communication skills"). Thank you, and I hope many, many people listen to this talk. What you're saying, people need to hear.

[@priscillagrrr4405]

Sounds like he was on the verge of tears right away.... Now I'm crying !!

[@RantTherapist]

Genuine. Because he's been 100% real and I feel that.

[@abdelhakimtalab7170]

i agree totally, i even kept asking myself when that's gonna happen.

[@cassiejournigan3681]

David Brooks is an international treasure. I simply love the man and eagerly await every Friday night, when the PBS Newshour brings him into my living room.

[@denniscanales4780]

Gee I feel so encourage- I find strength in knowing that I'm no as smart as David so I can too be a little nervous and vulnerable when talking large crowds. Bless him.

[@ronaldpetrin5823]

Bravo David! My absolute favorite "Ted Talks" to date. I've liked and admired your objectivity on PBS. So glad I watched this, a little late. I love you David! Thanks for your frank honest and needed message. I've been searching for these observations of our social and interelational dysfunction, it is all around us. Ill be sharing this often...to remind US! Self realization we all need to grow. Thank you very much! May we all let this sink in. May we all have, all of US joyous holidays ahead! This is a conversation starter...let US talk.

[@keithlynch7239]

Beautiful, so genuine. This is one of the most inspirational Ted videos I've watched.

[@dorottyapertz9241]

Astonishing so grateful for your existence David Brooks:)

[@fanofjets]

Spirituality, meaning, soul, and (yes) loneliness - these are all very much with me. Thank you, Professor Brooks, for your heartfelt and honest words. I am an avid reader of your essays in The New York Times and The Atlantic.

[@darshanavijaywargiya813]

Listening to this while doing my morning yoga - this man is amazing and the things he talks about dig deeper than you would imagine or expect when you started the video

[@michaelgilbertsr3107]

All he's really sharing is love. Experiences, good, bad or indifferent are constantly juxpositioned with love. We humans use many words in thousands of languages to relinquish our natural need for love.

[@oqba]

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius)

[@glennvannijevelt1133]

Okba Cherboub Did he really say that? Make sense.

[@stevenhoog1]

And the quality of the people you keep. I like that question bit. Higher quality questions. Like heres some cool stuff. There’s water on the sun Your body is made from Stardust 4.5 billion years old. There is only one color pigment that makes all eye colors. It’s the concentration layers and refractions. The grass is not green. The grass is EVERY COLOR BUT GREEN AND ITS REFLECTED OFF. WHAT ever color you see. It’s not that color and reflecting off. When you lose weight. 80% of your weight is lost through your lungs as co2. 20% sweat pee energy It takes a single photon 40,000 years to move out of the sun but 8 minutes to reach earth. A pound of feathers is heavier than a pound of gold. By 4 oz. how many grooves does a 45 record have. Many people guess 70 grooves. Wrong. Only ONE GROOVE GOING AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND. SO if I asked you how many grooves on a 45. You’d say one. WRONG. U FORGOT SIDE B. FLIPSIDE 2. 2 grooves. No 4. The songs slang is called a groove. Love this groove man. 4. 4 grooves

[@portlandjosh]

I have always respected David Brooks, and never more so than having watched him do this.

[@RuthJohnstonaworldofgoods]

I felt instantly that I needed to hear his entire message; which revealed what has been missing in my life. And somehow I knew it already!? My favorite TEDtalk, EVER!

[@gloriaetes2238]

So much truth in those words. So much to relate to. I needed to hear this.