How to Spot a Cult | Sarah Edmondson | TED

Nobody joins a cult on purpose, says Sarah Edmondson, a former member of the infamous Nxivm cult and one of the three whistleblowers that led to its downfall. She explains how she got ensnared in this highly manipulative group - and then escaped it - and shares red flags to help you distinguish between a cult and a safe community.
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[@nikita_kozlov]

I don’t know if my dad came up with this, but he always told me: “before you label yourself as crazy, take a look around and make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes.”

[@yolandagrabowski6043]

Nuts joined.

[@lessarey]

I spent 40+ years in an abusive family dynamic. After walking away, I realized it was “run like a cult” by my mother. So yes, families can be cult-like as well.

[@marcelacarrillogonzalez6085]

Me too. Sadly, the leader sa all of his daughters. The mother was an accomplice as when each started to speak up individually, she silenced them for the sake of his image. Cut Ties with parents and distanced from siblings already 9 years. Healing started really transforming me until then, previous efforts on therapy always failed as I did not disclose the situation completely.

[@KSouthworth]

Same. My family was a mini cult. Coercive control and mind games and abuse. Sacrifice for the leader, you belong to them, and they will try to destroy you when you leave.

[@lessarey]

@@KSouthworth my therapist is the one that told me: you don’t leave, they throw you away. 18+ months later, they won’t leave me alone. Still smearing me, still stalking me online. I just want to keep moving forward. And I completely feel you. Hugs to you on your journey. I hope there is peace in it.

[@KSouthworth]

@@lessarey Yes. Twenty years ago they threw me away, and then they made it seem like they were such heroes for bothering to get back in touch with me. Over the years, I've slowly gone no contact with every last one of them. The patriarch was the last one. He made the barest effort to get back in touch, which I expected, because we already performed this song and dance two decades ago. Peace doesn't describe how it feels to finally be free--Nina Simone sang it best in 'Feeling Good'. But I wasn't expecting the trauma bond to still be so strong. That took some sorting. I know what it's like to heal from this kind of abuse, I'm twenty-five years on this path. We take it one step at a time, and learn our true worth. Hugs to you, as well. You've put your safety first, and I deeply admire you for that.

[@susannehuber3996]

Same here. When I was 26 my mother requested that I spend the weekend with her. My body just gave up. I was not able to get up and drive to her. Even inf somebody would have told me I had to visit my mother or I will die I couldn’t go to her. I listened to my body. It took me 15 years of therapy. I never looked back. I don’t miss her AT ALL.

[@dudeamongus]

As someone who was raised in a cult their entire life and got out in my early 30's, I believe you've not mentioned the most important hallmark of a cult. They will discourage any other journey. There's is the 'best' way, and questioning it using logic and reason is basically not well accepted.

[@noahkling4018]

True…I was the same. They are the only place to find answers. They convince people that they can’t survive outside on their own. Questions aren’t allowed.

[@Aberadore]

I think she talks about at 10:38

[@MM-we4no]

It’s **theirs* not there’s

[@hopegold883]

She said that

[@user-dq2ym1nn9k]

Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective?

[@ItsDannyRobbins]

My former workplace used MUCH of the language she uses as examples, and it makes sense why it was so hard for me to leave despite feeling burned out. I felt like I was abandoning a place that "needed me" when in reality, I was no more irreplaceable than the next employee. Dont ever let a company make you feel like you can't leave. In fact, you probably SHOULD.

[@JimPfarr]

I can totally relate. Direct Supply in Milwaukee is very cultish, I got fired for refusing to drink the cool aid, thankfully my military training kept my morals and behavior in check.

[@SleepyEyeglassFrames-rt9qy]

PruittHealth SAME. ANY workplace says “we are a FAMILY”. Means NO BOUNDARIES

[@ashleymatthews683]

Capitalism itself is a cult. Almost all corporations use cult methods

[@caolanod2261]

Amazon?

[@arturoescorcia]

Meta?

[@genevalawrence801]

There is a book called Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell. It’s a fascinating read about how cults and cult-like groups use language to draw people in and to exercise control. The author also looks at how much modern marketing uses the language of cults to create brand loyalty.

[@_negentropy_]

The HubermanLab podcast uses these tactics.

[@LisaSmith-yb2uz]

Thanks for this reading recommendation 😊

[@cameronmanderfield1719]

Sarah Edmondon and Nippy interviewed Amanda on their podcast A Little Bit Culty and they do a great job of reviewing the concepts in her book. Fantastic listen along with the book!

[@harku123]

It was somewhat mentioned around 10:30

[@OhhState]

I’ve read this book and 💯 recommend it

[@wesshort7202]

Sarah, watching that HBO series gave me the courage to escape a 30 year toxic marriage and ended up literally saving my life.

[@TophinatorStreams]

That’s an incredible feat! Love that!

[@mikejettusa]

Glad you made it

[@yolandagrabowski6043]

I don't marry in the 1st place.

[@terencefitzpatrick8735]

Avoid "cults of personality," organizations that are focused on a single personality: their zealous and magical leader.

[@marciadafne]

Before this whole thing blew up I met someone who was in Nexivm, he hired me to design some flyers so he could promote it. When I asked him for the logo and he didn't have a jpg file, I told him I could just look it up online. He said "yeah... you might find some stuff online about them being a cult, but it's just because the parent of some members is sore about his daughters cutting contact with him. Don't pay any attention to it" So of course I read the whole article and was glad I never went to one of the meetings I was invited to.

[@alreadytired6515]

Sadly the best inoculation to a cult is having been in a cult. Being raised in one makes me VERY sensitive to anything that slightly seems like one.

[@KylaWalls]

I won't mention the company's name. But a friends son has pretty much turned his whole life over to a MLM organization. Over five years now. He went from being this sweet, curious friendly young man to an automaton who just spews slogans and toxic positivity. He believes that if he can just bring enough people in "under" him, he will soon have a huge glass house on the beach and he'll never have to work a day in his life again. In 5 years he's brought in less than 10 people and some of them ended up dropping out. He still scopes out people at coffee shops and tries to make seemingly innocent small talk. He then tells them he knows how they can make a lot of money and be financially solvent for the rest of their lives. Hes been asked to leave at least one coffee shop. He buys boxes of products from the MLM company to make it look like he's got a real business going. But he just buys those items and those boxes sit in a closet as he tries to pawn them off on family and friends, what few non MLM friends he still might have. Its so sad to watch this young man who was smart and kind and friendly become a shill for a MLM organization that just rips people off.

[@calebash82]

Looking at you , Landmark. I had a person who I thought was a really genuine friend who wanted to help me during a very tumultuous time in my life. Try really hard to recruit me into landmark and it almost cost me more than I could ever afford. I'm so glad I realized quickly what was going on and got away. I asked that person firmly with a text message to never discuss landmark or anything to do with landmark with me ever again, she promptly replied okay and that she understood and all of a sudden. She never wanted to hang out with me ever again. I realized in that moment she was never a friend at all

[@DiscoDashco]

Oh wow. I think I’m technically a Landmark graduate. This was about 25 years ago in Chicago before I left home for the military. Going through it, it just felt like church but without the presence of God included. Looking back, it still felt that way for the most part. Nowadays, I would tell anyone considering Landmark to just find their local chapter of Toast Masters instead to get the same experience for much cheaper if not free.

[@davidj6755]

My former employer tried to force me to join Landmark. I went to their orientation having no idea what it was. Fortunately, just from what I had learned in my college general psychology course, I was able to recognize it as a cult pretty quickly. I ended up quitting that position not long after. We should be taught how to recognize cults in public schools. Most of the other people in that orientation seemed oblivious to how they were being manipulated.

[@kanadum]

Absolutely. Went through the Landmark 3.5 day experience 10 years ago. Awful. Brainwashing. Hazing.

[@susanriddle9408]

What is Landmark?

[@danielromerosol4158]

What is landmark?

[@_negentropy_]

I’m so glad she’s safe. So much of what she described here exists in parasocial groups too. Podcast and social media influencers with a sick amount of control over their followers.

[@THEPLAN6]

She was branded with a tattoo. Insane

[@alexandrawelch1784]

Thank you for having the courage to speak the truth and seek justice! This is so much more common than we care to acknowledge.

[@SarahEdmondsonActor]

Thanks so much Alexandra!

[@KiwiKirsty1983]

The number one way you know you've joined a cult, is if you give until you have nothing left, and its still not good enough. You aren't good enough, and they make you feel like you have nothing to offer them, or anyone else. Period. Forever.

[@user-sk7zc1fc5u]

That's what religion does.

[@angelamossucco2190]

Wow

[@KiwiKirsty1983]

@@user-sk7zc1fc5u I agree. A relationship is much more important than religion.

[@boenrobot]

If you already have nothing left, that seems like too late to determine if you're in a cult😅

[@BatmanHQYT]

Hey it's the NXIVM lady from The Vow! Good on her for getting out.

[@itsmellyy]

Such a great documentary series!

[@cozycomfy589]

IMO, introverts are less susceptible to cults because we don’t like to join groups.

[@JimmyW00ip2]

True

[@marktimbrook562]

But you lead them...

[@shieh.4743]

Agree! I shun any group that requires any kind of commitment because I know I will hate that. I also realize that everyone is susceptible for something, but I also think people pleasers are especially vulnerable.

[@aduad]

Not with the internet now!...you sound like someone in a virtual cult!

[@krsajith22]

Not true.

[@mikejettusa]

Beautiful message and beautiful person. She could just go on with her life, but decided to share her experience with the hopes of helping others learn from her mistakes. ❤

[@THEPLAN6]

A real life hero

[@leveljoe]

It's more about total control through small moves. It involves removing opposition, silencing free will, " us versus them" mentality, group over individual mentality, exclusive societies, social identity, identifying dangers that don't exist.... Politics Science Religion A cult tells you that you are at your best when you are around those in your cult, because those other people are dangerous. They tap into a fear we are born with. "Only we can be right." "Others should be punished."

[@streamtracker]

Science has self-correcting mechanisms and yields real results. Thank you, science, for providing the knowledge that's kept me alive. Science is not a cult. Although a cult leader might tell you it is.

[@leveljoe]

@@streamtracker Science has been used to destroy more lives than any religion. From bombs to guns to chemical and biological weapons, the sciences have been there to make people unalive in new and previously unimaginable ways.. To ignore that there are huge industrial complexs built for scientists to develop new and more deadly processes is to ignore reality. Science is absolutely a cult. Any new discovery is immediately met with opposition. Although a cult member wouldn't acknowledge this.

[@leveljoe]

@@streamtracker Science has been used to destroy more people than any religion. From bombs to guns to chemical and biological weapons, the sciences have been there to make off people in new and previously unimaginable ways.. To ignore that there are huge industrial complexs built for scientists to develop new and more deadly processes is to ignore reality. Science is absolutely a cult. Any new discovery is immediately met with opposition. Although a cult member wouldn't acknowledge this.

[@texlad04]

Fear of other drives most human behavior. Basic human psychology. How disappointing that we can't get past it.

[@leveljoe]

@streamtracker Science has destroyed more lives through wars and inventions than religion ever has. Science regularly shuts down debate and destroys people's abilities to work in their professions. It's not supposed to, but it does, just like religion. Although a cult member might not tell you it is. They need to protect their ability to see man as a god.

[@suchanhachan]

I'm an American living in Japan and about 20 years ago I was walking to the train station and a very attractive young woman suddenly stopped me and asked if I wanted to get married. I was taken aback for a moment, then joked something like I had a girlfriend and I didn't think I could handle anything else at the moment. She probed a bit further, "Is it serious?", and tried to imply that relationships between foreign men and Japanese women rarely last, etc. She explained she was with a religious group and through them she had found true happiness, etc. We finally parted ways and she gave me some literature in English about her group. I didn't recognize the name on it, but later when I read through it a little I realized it was the Unification Church, or the "Moonies" as we used to call them in Massachusetts where they had a presence when I was growing up. Now I just remember it as a funny little encounter, but I can see how someone who might be feeling kind of lost or lonely could be easily drawn in by an attractive person who seems very empathetic and interested in them...

[@patrickquine3945]

Dated a girl briefly who'd been sucked into the Landmark Forum cult. Truly scary to realize these groups operate amongst us and the kind of power they can have over people. Landmark Forum is based on a similar approach to Scientology (since it's a spin-off group) - use people's personal trauma to humiliate and control them and replace any sense of self with the group.

[@curiousworld7912]

I so wish this girl the best life going forward.

[@nancyaustin9516]

woman, not girl

[@jeanh9641]

You are a brave person to acknowledge your vulnerability and how you were groomed to join this unhealthy organisation. I am sure this helps protect other people. Well done.

[@NamastePeace1111]

Society puts us in the mindset that we need validation and love from others. That's why cults are successful. The source of love is and always HAS been with us. We are born in it. There is nothing wrong with being alone. Time of reflection, growth, love, and healing can happen alone. Discernment also grows, because you know yourself and intentions. Which helps you understand other's intentions. The sad thing is that cults only are a deeper rabbithole that was created by religion. A tool used to control those who believe. I'm not opposed to messages of love and compassion. I am opposed to using those messages used to garner obedience and to create false narratives. Love has no religion, yet it's the ultimate religion.

[@caseyimiller]

❤️ One Love

[@russgodinho3358]

Wow!!, 20 people agree w/you at this point….I suppose the trillions of Christians over two thousand years must've indulged in delirium for their lifetimes. Cults quickly degenerated to Religion in your order of things. There seems to be a contradiction w/your general belief system and Namastepeace1111….It's comforting that you're as discombobulated as the rest of us, but if you're unsure, as you clearly are, is it the best approach is to undervalue the beliefs of others? Mind you, if you have proof that God is a myth, and that our Lord didn't actually create the gift of Love that you value,….well, I'm all ears….After all, we're not to follow lost leaders like sheep. The people who rule our world believe in Religion, but they don't worship the same Deity that most of us do….Love is not high on their agenda…Don't believe me? Research it for yourself, because all you're doing is actually supporting them. God Bless

[@MorbidEel]

A cult doesn't need to be have anything to do with religion.

[@jsf8145]

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 👌 2 Timothy 3 💯

[@killerquack9760]

Buy those hats, trading cards, flags and bible 😂

[@Jimmy4video]

Don't forget the shoes

[@GaiaCarney]

And a monthly donation to the legal defense fund!

[@teresafischer2125]

And tennis shoes!

[@stevensiferd7104]

@@Jimmy4video And let's not forget the steaks, the how to get rich books, and the "university" courses. And if you perform a paid service, get a 50% deposit up front.

[@mishaelfernandez1]

I didn’t know about the trading cards 😆

[@thanhn6170]

I was in somewhat a cult before. So I know she's really brave when she stands there talking about her experience. She tries her best to protect others and fixes her mistakes. I hope things go well for everyone.

[@JokerInk-CustomBuilds]

How to avoid joining a cult? -whenever someone claims to have all the answers you call them a liar and leave!😂

[@user-sk7zc1fc5u]

Sounds like evangelical Christianity.

[@JokerInk-CustomBuilds]

@@user-sk7zc1fc5u those were the ones I left. LOLOL

I have the answer for that >:).

​@@user-sk7zc1fc5uIt does. And left leaning politics today. And almost every group obsessed with power. Learn to see it all around, focusing it on just one, just hides the others you might subscribe to.

[@pennymorse9105]

Thank you Sarah for opening up my eyes and to let me know what the red flags are regarding cults. I have seen The Vow about 4 times. The more I watch it, the more I'm so glad that you got out. Keith is where he rightfully belongs. God bless you!

[@jimm6386]

My older brother said something to me in high school - that so many people were compulsive joiners - they were the kids who were in everything - the cheerleaders, the slide rule club, the service club, the baseball team, the basketball team, the wrestling team, the swim team. When it came time to create the yearbook, their faces were all over the place from cover to cover. So I asked myself why? Why do these people feel like that have to belong to everything? Well, the answer is obvious. They didn't feel like they belonged at home. Pretty much spells it all out. Sheep follow a leader. If you cannot think independently, you're not thinking - you're reacting to emotions. Those who do not have control of their emotions are doomed to cults and compulsive joining - until they meet their death.

[@davidbrasher3595]

I was born in a cult. It was not fair. I never had the choice to look at the organization and choose to join or not. I finally woke up and got my act together and escaped when I was about 25.

[@RiresDelven]

JW?

[@charitylee1767]

Sounds like World Wide group I was a part of the company 4 months and recognized right away. I felt a lot of guilt for leaving and of course the "friends" I made no longer wanted me as a friend after. I was definitely love bombed, gaslit, they tell you it's not Amway when it really is. I was not allowed to do special girl only groups with the diamond until I got to certain levels. They tell you meetings are more important than family because"this is for your family"

[@MonStarGuy]

Working at Disneyland felt like being in a cult. It was awful, they took my identity from me and tried to force me to be something I'm not. All the while alternating between love-bombing and abuse and trying to convince me that "we're all one big happy family".

[@fearlesssfcappuccino]

I clicked on this with definite interest that it might be useful info, but man did it exceed all of any expectations I could've had - I'm blown away by the power in this short/digestible talk, and the essential information it makes available. So grateful for Sarah Edmondson for having the courage to engage in this and to TEDTalk.

[@beaker8111]

Feels a little ... paranoid. I was raised in a cult and am no longer involved. I'm out. I can get invited to yoga or a spin class without thinking that person is love bombing me. Don't use examples like, "Hey do you want to go get a coffee." That's just normal. You could use the example of your distant cousin saying "Hey do you want to go get a coffee and talk about a great new opportunity?" (omg run)

[@SusynStecchi]

Thank you for being so courageous to speak out. Sounds like a description of MAGA. Stay unculty.❤

[@SusanaXpeace2u]

It makes sense, something wonderful on the surface. The chains of guilt and obligation are introduced slowly and mixed with positive reinforcement. Boundaries are eroded bit by bit. Sense of self is diminished bit by bit. My own family is a cult so although my mother was no keith ranieri, I understand the dynamics.

[@deniseek7944]

Thank you for sharing your experience!! ❣️💯

[@THEPLAN6]

I enjoyed this video. She is articulate and I felt she at many times was telling some of my thoughts and the life I went through while being isolated. Wish others who have had these terrible true life experiences to speak out to others or write a journal about the truth

[@riaanwilmans]

Also look at Dr. Robert J. Lifton - Eight Criteria for Thought Reform, and Dr. Margaret T. Singer - 6 Conditions for Thought Reform.

[@wiedzma_nie_niewiasta]

I waited a long time for this. It's finally here! 🎉

[@educocult]

Such a GREAT Talk by an AWESOME Cult Fighter!

[@someguynamedelan]

If the graphic design for the meditation or prayer flyer is too good, it is probably a cult. If the flyer is just from a copy machine. designed with clip art or from a mimeograph, that is probably a church. Even better, if their website design hasn't been updated in 20 years, that is also probably a church.

[@Goldzwiebel]

you're right! This applies to all non-profit organizations that collect donations. Just say "wow, the flyer is great" and if you don't hear back "yes one of our members has a printing company and donats them" the organisation has too much money and/or isn't using it well.

[@MorbidEel]

What is good though? Considering what you can get generative AI to spit out these days.

[@TwisterTornado]

That's just biased against young people. Well, of course new ideas have to go through a "pruning" age...

[@puppypersonLOTR]

Love to you Sarah as well as Nippy and the boys!! Love the podcast. Thank you for all you have done for the world! ❤❤❤

[@FueledbyJohn]

This was an invaluable talk thank you.

[@kirbwarriork3371]

8:09 this list of things have always felt like giant red flags to me my whole life. And even though you say you aren't condemning any of these things, "Welcome to the family" has never preceded anything good. 15:00 "Questions are welcomed" "You can ask things without being gaslit" One of these days I'll find a group like that. Too many people have that one thing they are unwilling to question which in turn dominates nearly everything in their life. 17:04 "Don't make the tools your life." is such an important sentence I just need to repeat it.

[@Rnankn]

Good advice. I’m envious of her ability to trust, and connect with others. The opposite has its risks too. Being skeptical can lead to cynicism and an absence of belonging.

[@user-sk7zc1fc5u]

But very few people talk about the wealthiest and largest cult in America. Why not? It has almost every characteristic Sarah talked about. Has millions of members.

[@SEANALPURVIS]

I watched the documentary that you were in and I was very proud of you for what you did. I'm glad I found this Ted talk today. Reminder to all the commenters religion of any type is man-made. A relationship with a higher power is what you seek

[@mushroom_thrillers]

Powerful. Thank you

[@rikabernar]

Thank you for sharing ❤ ❤ ❤

[@alswjd4406]

I feel you. Thank you for your bravery, Sarah. We all make mistakes and from our mistakes we acknowledge something then now you see? It was a hard journey but this has become your way to change the world into a better place 🧡🙏🏻😚🌿🌎🦋💕

[@alswjd4406]

Everything has happened for us❤

[@erihayward1121]

I'm surprised she didn't talk about the BITE model for measuring cult status. Definitely would recommend ❤

[@MARIAM_M_AYOUB]

God bless your heart! Thank you for spreading the wisdom! 🙏❤️✨

[@MichelleCarithersAuthor]

thank you for sharing your experience

[@DoloresJNurss]

Very helpful! This is one of the few cult talks I've seen that described green flags as well as red flags. Green flags matter, because we're social animals.

[@geedad]

Thank you for speaking up and sharing. In case it also helps, in my experience healthy relationships are never always too easy nor too hard. Nor does it switch from easy to hard too fast in a blink of an eye. You are better with it or even need it, but it does not consume your life and you still are you even without it all the time. I find it true with people, things, even food. Always try to do better but you are enough. You will be ok.

[@JaredTVW]

My parents met in a Christian Cult, The Way Ministry. Essentially they believe in many similar things except they do not believe in the Trinity, which is crucial in all sects of Christian faith. They got out of it when they were still young, but interestingly, the older I get, the more I see how my dad still very much hangs onto the words of people he finds value in and often will go against or adjust his foundational beliefs if the person claims they are doing work for the Lord. He also ironically used the Frog cliche to explain to me as a kid how people can use tactics like that to make you feel comfortable while slowly boiling you as they adjust things each time. It’s very interesting for me to see someone get out of a cult, but still put blind faith into some ideologies because the person thinks they both agree so much. People can be lead astray so easily, even if they already got out of a bad situation.

[@RAD-ju1ru]

Her pain and anguish are palpable. Much love to this strong, courageous woman.

[@mcm3a812]

As people watch this. I want you to think of how often you or your children are told to be a “team player”. The “team player” mentality is a method leaders at cults, sports, churches, politics and businesses get people to give their entire life to that leaders purpose. Stop the insanity, its not always a good thing to be a “ team player”. When you hear the term you better run. Don’t give your life or children’s lives to some BS leader.

[@susantocp]

She's so inspiring. And she's also so fit.

[@angelmujahid2233]

This was an excellent Ted talk.

[@GransomHayes_author]

The most heroic ted talk I’ve ever seen

[@meadowrae1491]

My mom is obsessed with Ben Davidson/Suspicious Observers. She's displaying cultish speech patterns and I'm starting to get scared.

[@LE-pq3lu]

Thank you ❤

[@DrSabriBebawi]

An excellent and timely lecture. All Trump Republicans should watch it

[@jd190d]

Trump followers have told me I blindly follow President Biden. I tell them there are about 10 people just just off the top of my head I would vote for instead of President Biden, but I would support anyone to keep trump out. I ask them who they would have instead of trump and they don't have an answer. I tell them that is one of the defining aspects of a cult, they only imagine 1 person that they would support. They make the mistake of thinking other people think like they think about things.

[@DiscoDashco]

@@jd190dWhat you’re describing about these people you’ve come across is essentially projection: accusing others of what they themselves embody or are guilty of. That right there is a symptom, a manifestation of what happens when people fail to identify fallacies within their beliefs, assumptions, or logic. This is why education is a privilege in life, for better or for worse.

[@jd190d]

@@DiscoDashcoProjection is the recurring theme of the entire Republican party. Accuse others of taking power of principle, trying to destroy democracy, etc, etc, are the only thing we ever hear from Republicans while they are doing exactly those things.

[@chamberlain85]

I feel a handful have watched it and they searched the comments specifically suggesting MAGA maybe cult like and then they twist the idea stating they feel it is a left issue. Im like what does that even mean? I didnt buy a bunch of left gear including flags, hats, shirts, shoes, NFTs, and I mean they can brand any item and MAGA folk will buy it. My grandmother came to me with a Trump watch she bought and tried to give it to me, but she mentioned "you dont like him do you". Drove a wedge right between me and my own family. I never felt compelled to dress my political positions nor have I donated any money to it. I have to say watching all this unfold has devastated me over the past nine years. I feel absolutely hopeless for this country because I realize those in control in the democratic party, and I am not talking about any progressives; are not fulfilling their duties as a representative. I despise most of our legislators and wish they would retire. They have become part of the problem.

[@JudgeFredd]

Very courageous speech

[@bmk5219]

That was a good TED talk.

[@samotoremor662]

I am proud every time a religious Republican wakes up from that cult.

[@jaymacpherson8167]

“Any group can become culty.” I quit a group in 1980. In 2012, I realized I had been in a cult. The group was… Martial arts training. The cost was very low. But when our Shihon had me meet in private and beat me, causing hip to knee hematomas in both legs, I got out. I missed it so much that after 6 months, I returned…until I made a request that was not honored. So I left for good.

[@DiscoDashco]

That’s a really vague story. What’s up with the quotations? I wouldn’t go around telling other that martial arts in general is parallel to a cult. Do your diligence before joining an institution; find out how long has it been around, meet the staff and introduce yourself to other students, verify how the program works and the ranking system, and ask qualifying questions when you’re offered or asked to do anything that is not typical or explained in class or on their website. If there are multiple instructors, ask the other ones what the significance of anything that id asked of you. Lastly, no one should be pressuring you to do something on an individual level without someone else knowing you’re attendance along with what it’s for. Point is, try not to go around labeling something as broad as “martial arts” as a cult just because you had a bad experience and lack an appropriate judge of character toward individual people, or the ability to spot red flags. But if someone did something specifically inappropriate to you, that’s a whole different situation and I’m sorry for that, because honorable Udansha will always embody integrity, and only encourage others. They will never pressure those beneath them to do anything they themselves are not ready for.

[@jaymacpherson8167]

@@DiscoDashco Well Dash, as far as being vague, there just doesn’t seem to be enough room in a KZbin comment to insert the book I wrote about the experience. Don’t go looking for the book. It has not yet been published.

[@stevenalexander6033]

McDojo life does cool stuff to how to spot martial arts cults

[@yolandagrabowski6043]

Nice listening to this while lying back, rehydrating my life and health.

[@jrpipik]

The big identifier is they want your money. Not some of your money, not a tithe or weekly donation. They want ALL your money.

[@girlfriday1299]

So true. I was involved in the Kabbalah Centre for 4 1/2 years. There are many beautiful qualities, and it's not as bad as NIXVM, but the dynamic is pretty much the same.

[@leveljoe]

​@@monicaleon2601Who doesn't want all your money?

[@mistressfreezepeach]

or all your attention/time/sanity, as is the case with the Left

[@user-sk7zc1fc5u]

@@mistressfreezepeach The left is no different than the right.

[@Newstatejournal1]

Excellent!

[@chethakmp3]

Thank you : )

[@christiannusser9976]

Thank you Sarah!!!

[@BillyBobJoeSnr]

A little irony in that the ad running around this video is for an exec MBA which too is a bit cult like....Youre special, join our elite group and send money.

[@attilahorvath8152]

congrats & kudos

[@amyfry8498]

Thank you

[@amandawoods8323]

Ty.

[@NoWay1969]

I'm always stunned at how people can't see the root of the problem. They keep thinking that there's something out there with the "sense of connection" or the "feeling of belonging" that they're craving that isn't harmful. They keep trying to fill the hole without realizing that the hole is the problem.

[@russgodinho3358]

Strong words,…but how empty you must be. Atheists have gone the way of the Dodo my fine feathered friend.

[@NoWay1969]

@@russgodinho3358 Or, you're just in a cult.

[@user-sk7zc1fc5u]

The one I was in grows by 250,000 converts a year.

[@user-sk7zc1fc5u]

@@russgodinho3358 Check PEW Research, the largest demographic study in the world, for the growth in this country and in the world of each religion and you will learn of the rise of the "nones" or the non-affiliated with organized religion. The "nones" are currently the 3rd largest group in the world and they make up one third of all Americans. Christianity is declining in America, but definitely not the "nones".

[@rebeccag8589]

I think as humans, we're naturally social creatures who seek to build relationships and find a community to at least some extent (some of us more than others), and that's not inherently unhealthy nor does it mean we have a hole (although of course, it can come from an unhealthy place, anything can). It's just about how and with whom we seek those relationships and that community. Many communities are not cults, and are instead positive parts of people's lives. Unfortunately, some are, and I think this video did a great job of identifying red and green flags.

[@AshPragasam]

Ironic since in general TED talks give off cult vibes

[@forthesnowflakes7691]

How to spot a modern day cult: 1. Red hats.

[@thebigdawgj]

2. "Vote blue no matter who".

[@RE-jb2ke]

😂

[@forthesnowflakes7691]

@@thebigdawgj that is a sane response if you're actually paying attention to how Republicans are governing or lack of governing.

[@forthesnowflakes7691]

@@thebigdawgj that quote is a sane response for anyone who has been paying attention to what the other side has been doing

[@fluxcapacitor1621]

@@thebigdawgj That's just like supporting a traitor that lied about widespread voter fraud and tried to overthrow our government.

[@AnimeShinigami13]

As soon as she said Nxivm I knew EXACTLY what she was talking about. :( way too much true crime. And I knew what he did to women too. You poor woman. On the other hand, a 120 year sentence for a woman beating scumbag when he was seemingly untouchable and the authorities had no clue is something to hang your hat on.

[@blasiomarvinwasenda1047]

People need love and a sense of being given purpose.. and guess what, it's what they (cults) offer at the start

[@numbercruncher6242]

I think it's more that people innately require to be told how to think and act. Our nature is to not know and to want to fast track the knowing part. We look into the world to see what to emulate.

[@ericwilliams626]

Forget just calling situations a cult and use that term cult-like so it can be understood it has many forms. People are commenting about families being this way. I left social situations that weren't a cult but were cult-like and I didn't know it at the time nor did I put a label on it, but it made me feel less than enthusiastic to be around people who were on the do gooder road, yet appeared more of a show than actual good. It's not always the fault of a person, but social dynamics. If you want to help people, don't ask them to conform to an ideology of morals or code, but instead what should be on the surface is nurturing free thought within a realm of understanding moral code exists for a reason, do not deceive yourself, but you must find that code on your own and not in a group setting. Cultivating courage is more important than creating an ideology everyone can agree on. If this is done, the individual can feel more comfortable being who they are and find what they are looking for instead of acting like everyone else to meet expectations, not to mention its more honest. Most people are fake, and its the individual's job to understand who these people are and to move past them. You only learn this through experience. You know when someone is speaking truth, but when you are unsure, that's when you should learn the discipline to red flag them. They will talk enough to reveal their true intentions which is usually wrapped around narcissism and control over others. Work places are cult-like, families are more so, cliques, churches, sports groups, but its up to you to discern what is good for you and what is not.

[@ScrambledFishEggs]

Not religious at all, but once attended church w/friend after id been robbed. The church asked for a donation. When i told them i was just robbed and i couldn't spare any. The answer was, still donate and the lord will provide when the time comes. Thats all i needed to stay away. Turns out she left the church for cult like behavior.

[@fenderek666]

Was in a job that was run by a ceo who used to be a Jehovah witness Used most of the tricks When I quit- it was indeed like quitting a cult. Completely shunned, no contact with anyone… …although later few others got out and we did reconnect Fucking weird experience. Ultimately what saved me was… my then 4 year old daughter. And a year earlier my father died. Two events that shook me to the core and changed me and… suddenly the tricks didn’t work. I woke up.

[@technicware]

Sarah, you look amazing. I watched the entire HBO series "The Vow", just a few years after Leah Remini's much publicized show on Scientology. Support these courageous women.

[@AlexDavis125]

I’m glad she left the cult, but she managed to keep the tonal affectations of a cult leader. As someone who grew up in a cult I think that manner of speaking stands out extra to me. But I’m glad she’s at least using it to spread a better message.

[@MorbidEel]

If only every cult leader had such obvious qualities.

[@susanriddle9408]

I think that was a part of her message. Someone well spoken engaging perhaps attractive and has the want and ability to share a message that a crowd will listen to can say almost anything. They or she can speak engagingly about 'culty things' or be a high school teacher. Or another profession. I think she was trying to warn that just because the talk is good (all the audience was listening after all) look for these flags or warning signs.

[@lauriethomasmd3760]

I think there are two kinds of cults. Selfish and selfless. My son is in a selfless cult. It is religious, but there is no individual leader enriching himself. He has not had to give money to the cult. He sometimes preaches at college campuses or sports events, no different than other preachers. He’s happy, for the first time in his life. There is no hard line between a cult and a legitimate religious group-his group has elements of both. It’s more “cultish” than an established church, but not as “cultish” as other cults. He loves the community he belongs to, the people he interacts with. He has not been asked to shun his family, for which I am eternally grateful. But I still think it’s a cult.

[@WolcottOakTree]

A lot of work environments seem a little cultish.

[@rudyberkvens-be]

They do

[@chrisgillings537]

Notice how members of maga are the first to vehemently deny they are members of a cult😂😂😂

[@Jimmy4video]

They aren't the first, but they do deny it.

[@amtak2351]

Is Marxism a cult? Is the social justice movement a cult? I queer theory a cult? I pedagogy for the oppressed a cult?

[@j.j.1064]

It's a great video, but the parable needs to be accurate. Considering the subject matter it's pretty important not to use a parable that relies on the audience's ignorance. Ironically it's what cults do. The hot water frog is actually false. The "frog in boiling water" parable is often cited to illustrate the idea that people may not notice gradual changes if they occur slowly over time. However, it's not entirely accurate from a biological standpoint. Frogs are actually sensitive to temperature changes and would likely jump out if the water became too hot, rather than passively staying until boiled. So, while the metaphor is compelling, it doesn't hold up to scientific scrutiny. Nevertheless it served It's purpose for the sake of the talk.

[@blasiomarvinwasenda1047]

Most of them cults are hidden in modern religions... 🤦

[@user-fd8oy8nw3s]

既存の伝統的な宗教を騙るカルトの多さには、頭を抱えます…

[@jurekovacic1739]

Not really. You would be suprused how many of "self improvment" and "spirituality" stuff is cult

[@mworldxyz5631]

@@jurekovacic1739 I think those are considered "modern religions"..?

[@jurekovacic1739]

@@mworldxyz5631 hmmm... yeah. Fair. My mistake.

[@leveljoe]

...and politics.

[@zwatwashdc]

I don’t believe everyone is susceptible. You have to be willing to feel superior to outsiders. You have to be afraid of being ostracized. You have to be more,interested in social truths than actual truths. Many are, but at least 30% of people are not.

[@AstroNomical-fi2hc]

I can't tell you how many idiots got angry with me when they tried to sell me their bs, they were talking about love but as soon as I questioned deeper and disagree with their stupidity, they become enraged and without any doubt they will punch me on my face if they could. Believe is about business, reasoning is about to be realistic and master of your own destiny if you learn how to analyze your own desitions.

[@stevesmith9447]

Made it to 5:47 before the lip smacking broke my will to keep listening. Glad you got out of the cult!

[@nateb9768]

When I was in my first semester of college I had a friendly, relatively attractive student comment with me. She seemed so friendly and nice. We were grabbing a coffee when she mentioned Landmark. My mom told me that it was a cult and I realized she was right. That friend invited me to a group Zoom meeting with a rich old "finance" guy who led the event. They had about two to three plants in the meeting providing sob stories of how Landmark changed them. I quit the meeting halfway through to screw with all of them. Next thing you know that "friend" began texting me frantically trying to get me to join. Sending creepy pre-planned messages like "We are waiting for you", and "You will never know your true self". Insanity.

[@jimsullivan2813]

My former workplace checked these boxes….

[@cutydryver1]

Koch Industries is an example of this. Lived it myself there.

[@jozz2248]

How they run their businesses? In what ways, if you don't mind sharing?

[@GaelofVirtue]

I’m loving these current political cults going on today… people are so easily led

[@Dman9fp]

If something seems too good to be true, it usually is. Cult victims rarely want to admit (& they still were definitely victimized, not their fault) that there were definite warning signs. But thats what the mind does, shuts out doubt & keeps reaching until we crash and burn, if the "heart" is hungry enough.

[@matteor6]

Speaking about cults - getting some pretty cult-like advertisements in the middle of the video, promising success, wealth and free trainings! :) :)

[@MorbidEel]

That is probably just a scam.