The beauty of conflict | Clair Canfield | TEDxUSU

For many, conflict is considered a negative experience and an indication that something has gone wrong. When viewed from that perspective it frequently creates interactions that leave us feeling frustrated and unsatisfied. In this talk, Clair identifies some of the ways we get stuck in the trap of justification and also provides hope for a new way of approaching conflict. This different approach unlocks the possibilities of conflict and empowers us to create the change we want in the world around us, in our relationships, places of work, communities, and most of all within ourselves.
Clair Canfield is a consultant and lecturer at Utah State University with degrees in Communication Studies and a graduate certification in alternative dispute resolution.
Initially inspired by his own struggles with conflict, Clair is committed to changing the way people think and feel about conflict. “Conflict holds up a mirror to our deepest needs and most cherished hope and it is the doorway of opportunity for creating the change we want in our life,” Clair stated. “It is common to feel trapped and stuck when we experience conflict, but there is a way out!”
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@safardebon9720]

The three pillars of CONFLICT 1. When its about the dishes, its not about the dishes 2. We can get stuck - the seduction of justification 3. The art of speaking resposibly - like learning a new language Solution: V ulnerability O wnership C ommunication A cceptance B oundaries Conflict can be the engine of rejuvenation and creating better versions of ourselves! Amazing conversation

[@jevvins7803]

John wick fortnite

[@mythic2385]

Thanks for the early answers

[@NorahsYarnArt]

Thanks 🙏

[@kareemharriott7510]

Ohhh. oh. 8ycycy. IF

[@CONNORK3NWAY1775]

Wow you give the answers for no. 3 and 4 in my assignment thank you.

[@erichamilton4512]

I have so much respect for Claire. One of my first professors at college, still of one of my all time favorites. There was a day when class got cancelled, and I ran into him in a hallway and we ended up talking for 45 min just as friends about the things in this video. Total mentor and a great guy

[@caszr2y]

Good thing you are friends or he might be offended by you misspelling his name.

[@Lungs523]

I’m glad you got that experience. It’s humbling thanks for sharing

[@jaclynh9343]

Wow hearing this father talking to his bossy daughter which he then found out was being bullied made me cry. I could feel his pain in his words... wow, incredible Ted Talk...

[@damaelegante1]

Watched this for a class assignment and the ending of him talking about his daughter reminded me of God, how he comes to me and comforts me when I am so stubborn. I cried. This was beautiful.

[@_sarah.]

Yeah, that's so true!! 😊 Beautiful analogy of our Lord Jesus.

[@lifeofgreatness]

One of the best TED talks I've ever seen. Definitely deserves more attention.

[@Lungs523]

I agree ☝🏻

[@joselinemosquera2467]

Anybody else in tears? Definitely surprised that his daughter confessed such a thing but it hurt even more because my baby sister was acting up a time ago until I was able to reach out to her and she opened up

[@wilfredodometitajr.2698]

Sure I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one.

[@olaphoenix3882]

His level of composure is out of this world! Great job!

[@allyvillalobos7361]

Watched this because of an assignment and end up in tears. My God! I didn't realize how terrible of a person I am. I learned so much and I want to learn more. Hands down to you, sir. Keep up to be a wonderful inspiration to others 💛

[@dianemorris3419]

You are not a terrible person. You have just found a gap in your emotional self that now you are aware of, you can start working on and growing. No body is perfect, just because we don't know something, it doesn't immediately make you 'bad'. You are worthy of love and respect. Keep going.

[@brandbmg1]

I could listen to Clair talk for hours! He was one of my favorite professors of all time.

[@LeadershipSatsang]

This is the most beautiful talk I've ever heard

[@ManShellz234]

My favorite TT by far. I'm sharing this will all my family and friends.

[@LeslieKazadi]

clapping at home! so sweet and so helpful!

[@chrispfund9846]

Couldn't agree more! Thanks for posting.

[@noelbarrett8310]

I was asked to watch this video for a homework assignment...and it was great, I really enjoyed Clair's talk! When he shared his parenting conflicts, they really resonated with me. Ultimately learning that conflict can be a beautiful catalyst for change was empowering 😃 thank you!!

[@musiclore]

So good. I was so lucky to have discovered the communication degree at USU. These professors are amazing.

[@daramjienglish]

Thank you for sharing your personal story and what you found from the experience. It surely touched many hearts and souls since we all have had those stuck times in our life. I am working on it to speak fluent my VOCAB. Thanks : ) I hope you and your daughter stayed together strong through the hard time. I hope she is doing great at school and be respected and loved by people she meets. God bless you and your family.

[@makennacanfield7087]

Thank you for your nice comment! I'm doing great now and that experience has helped strengthen me to be who I am now 💓

[@shelli523]

Loved it!! Especially being a new parent ❤️

[@MichaelScottPeters]

Great insights.

[@MonicaBaker24]

very eye-opening.

[@sallys.1207]

Brought tears... this is life changing.

[@carollai6609]

That was great! The ending is so good omg

[@TheRonskins]

Thanks for this! I've learned a new VOCAB in my on going strides towards dealing with conflict responsibly.

[@kavitaramdeen]

I truly enjoyed this speaker, he makes a lot of sense on this topic of conflict.

[@planterika6731]

Love this❤. The ending truly brought clarity. Claire helped alot of people😊

[@claudinebibeau-parks4816]

GREAT speech, very powerful!

[@CRICKETATTAXmasterz]

Touching

[@NorahsYarnArt]

Now that was a great Ted talk! Thanks for sharing 👍 ♥️

[@RameshSharma-ri1kz]

Excellent connect with honest confession and turnaround from everyday experience. Thank you..

[@syedtahmidnajib3773]

Clair is such an amazing speaker :)

[@daniellehudson453]

Very powerful metaphors and examples.

[@iamstephredd]

Amazing! Thank you so much!

[@yusuf1maz]

Burdan bu konuşmayı bize izlettiği içün duygu hocaya teşekkürlerimi iletiyorum. One of the best TED talk that i watched!

[@adeeshchogle7046]

Goosebumps towards the end

[@devandavis6342]

Wow that was amazing! This defiantly made it into my top 10 favorite TED talks!

[@rom8794]

Amazing! Please share your other 9. Thank you!

[@beegood1215]

I like your choice of words!

[@user-ns8qs1ky5w]

*Definitely

[@yvonneokeyo8883]

Very educative talk

[@benisrael7]

do not say that conflict starts smaller but grow bigger than one can imagine. so conflict become an opportunity for new constructive resolutions when it treated well as soon as possible. however, it becomes a real fight when concerned parties neglect it and keep silence like nothing is happening. pls, handle your conflict before it handles you.

[@angiecook4016]

Wow, Thanks!

[@keatonr776]

This dude teaches at my college and I just got the 1 hour version!

[@joselinemosquera2467]

Where does this Professor teacher? I need his lecture omg

[@keatonr776]

@@joselinemosquera2467 utah state university

[@abbieabbie847]

Can you pls share it

[@keatonr776]

@@abbieabbie847 that zoom link is long gone I'm afraid

[@amirjackson4966]

Nicely done.

[@jamalhamdan9170]

Open Communications , transparency, and how we deliver the message, it has its affect on others, find out what and other things is not clear in it.

[@rhondagriffith2159]

So AWESOME 💗💗💗

[@anumohandasnair]

wow. just wow.

[@kikleine]

Excellent talk

[@Eidolonian]

Exceptional!

[@artshaman7677]

Awesome

[@nobodyshome1990]

Impressive.

[@robertschroedl9721]

Well said. This man gets it. Politicians on both sides of the isle may benefits from what is said here.

[@chinmaylovekar]

Beautiful

[@youssefdirani]

I like this guy...

[@sveabryan9126]

Brilliant

[@user-oo9cj8gp8z]

I saved my relation with her by communicating and hearing her and analyzing and keeping the boundary, mostly probably I used VOCAB even before watching this beautiful video. Now, I see conflicts always aren't bad, but its upon people how and what they want it for to be. 😀 Always speak, share and listen.

[@Ace-xm3qv]

#GreatTalk

[@crarbique6745]

Great video and amazing message

[@jazplanet]

Please someone answer these questions What does VOCAB stand for and how you use it in your personal life?

[@kukustweety1]

Watch the talk!

[@Lungs523]

Only you can answer how you would use it in your personal life Jazmine but it’s a great talk and he spells out what Vocab stands for. It’s beneficial 🥰

[@jshir17]

Hug it out, sing and dance together

[@senaustun4380]

why do ı feel like cryign after hearing his daughters story :(

[@rockwarrior5287]

💕💕💕

[@emmanueltimilehin-oi9hr]

@TedX i would like to organize a event in my conflict as a peace and conflict studies student for conflict awareness as a student

[@conexionyogamacarenafernan2544]

how do i get it in spanish? does anyone know? so i can show it to my friends and family

[@jazplanet]

translate it on your own...:(

[@tonyq7364]

You can also click settings and have it auto-translate the subtitles to spanish. It won't be perfect, but it could help.

[@rtc5884]

Solo traducelo

[@lizaajvazi195]

wow

[@Kiki-wi7px]

👍 "CONFLICT" IS A "DOORWAY" TO CREATE CHANGE.

[@sf-xf8sl]

how it ended

[@peggyspiak8281]

This echoes Brene' Brown's work nicely.

[@sairanikhatimam]

Please share the resource.

[@JeffTheEntrepreneur]

How do I get in touch with this guy? Would love for him to be a guest on my podcast / channel / feed where we inspire others always on my channel. Lmk!

[@Camdino55]

I have his email if you would like it. Contact me.

[@sairanikhatimam]

Please share the email address is

[@MelancholyMadoka]

Wish I could use conflict resolution to increase the volume of this very quiet video.

[@Alphacentauri819]

Well.... you could use mindset (which is often a driver of conflict), to accept the volume as it is & see your choices -turn off video -find a way to amplify the volume through an app or other feature (microphone) -listen as is as best you can :) mindset, choice, are parts of empowerment and conflict management

[@hassanhashmi4894]

Can anyone summarize the main point of this Ted Talk? please

[@sidneymcadorey1412]

He's saying that rather than seeing conflict as a purely negative interaction, if we view it the right way, it can be constructive.

[@gigi-bk9lb]

According to the talk, are the annoying people considered as the major source of conflicts at work? Justify your answer. What are the five (5) steps given by Ms. Schulz to fix conflicts? In your opinion, are the steps given feasible? Would you try these steps in the current conflict that you are experiencing?

[@MrXsMisery]

Congrats, dad treats kid like a human and it goes well. Big surprise.

[@merttekyurt4001]

Burdan elif ozguvenc hocama selamlar yolluyorum

[@eyyubovvv]

as

[@bdeh5211]

UDST Student good luck in ur Assignment:D

[@minkie710]

Ya yeet

[@3rdwhirledbeau]

I found this to be overly abstract. If "VOCAB" is actually of use then why is the set-up of one example described and the resolution of a separate example provided without clear reference to "VOCAB". This is a C level talk.

[@rtc5884]

Please explain

[@yigitkocak9769]

Duygu Guntek hocamiza sevgiler. ENG102 Sec.87 Kimler burada begenin bakalim :D :D

[@erenozkara2787]

artık 102 sec 3 Berna Arslan

[@ardafazla7901]

:)

[@nnu97]

Sec 99 Nil Mısır , buradayız hocam :D

[@d8d810]

So the kid won when it came to the hair pretties. lol

[@benglot1357]

Why does the speaker want us to view conflict positively? What can we get from adopting this point of view?

[@Alphacentauri819]

Are these rhetorical questions? Or did you really not get it?

[@user-sz4bm4sw1d]

vocab

[@tommichelsen7304]

INTERNATIONAL LAW

[@TheMcAllisterHours]

Personally, I just do the dishes.

[@flamselk1546]

120k views 1.1k likes??????????

[@Googleyourowndeath]

Lots of students are forced to watch Ted talks and generally don't appreciate doing so.

[@mishka623]

Tel that Putin

[@ahmedmohamed-fo5jl]

So you basically refused to wash the dishes as a child and refused as a youth, and instructed your wife and children to do it your way I think the real reason behind your conflicts was superiority and inferiority, who gives orders and who comply to them

[@purefunguy]

This guy went too far to not do dishes

[@charleslee3098]

WEAK BETA!!!

[@lazarusfowsta]

Awesome

[@nuik8732]

Beautiful