Disrupting the Divorce Experience. Defining Your Next Chapter. | Sadie Bjornstad | TEDxOakParkWomen

[@pinam2299]

I tried so hard to have my ex husband to communicate and to make good choices, but he wouldn’t. I had idea what he was doing. Hiding money, closing bank accounts. It’s was horrible. I had a complete mental breakdown. Instead of coming to see me, he secretly found a place to live and convinced my kids to go live with him. He turned my son against me. It’s been a horrible experience. Everyday, I do what I can to get through and let go of what I cannot control.

[@JoaoHolandes]

Good luck on your journey.

[@ShouttoJesusChrist]

Write a letter to him about how he hurt you write it down and let your self cry. Learn to sing and dance and draw. let the emotion out it's okay

[@jackwilllam7361]

Hello how are you doing hope you safe and warm

[@marialuizadeoliveira4784]

Hi, I am facing a similar situation after 30 years of marriage. I hope you find joy again.

[@chapterupwellbeing7520]

Sorry to hear what you are went through. What's the hardest thing you are dealing with now ? Can i ask how you've tried to heal ? Anything you've tried isn't working ? Looking to find a professional to help with separation and divorce and a potential virtual group support session 🙂

[@beverlypasco262]

Brilliant, before I got married in my 50s I was divorced and lived with 3 other women who were all church ladies. We all had our own rooms, had house rules and organizing cleaning. We often watched movies together and organized theme parties. Someone was always available to talk to. I lived there for 7 years before getting married again. Because were all believers in Christ there was plenty of forgiveness and prayers for each other. It worked and honestly it was such a wonderful time of my life. You have to set ground rules and boundaries, but it worked. Don’t get me wrong we had our disagreements and trials. Most of all we respected each other and strived for understanding and kindness. 💝Blessing to all of the women brave enough to try it. We are not meant to be alone.

[@nomfundombijekanambijekana3825]

13:03

[@hardknocksranch8921]

God grant me the serinty to except the things I can't change, The courage to changes the things I can and The wisdom to know the difference.

[@KeepinItOneHunnnid]

That valley girl voice goes right through me!

[@DrRemulack]

*accept

[@charliedavies3236]

Confront your cheating spouse with evidence, i was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding out..... it really helped me during my divorce ...you can contact (westhack000) on Instagram spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more, viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger, calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely, cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages, his services are AFFORDABLE .................................... ONLY GOD CAN THANK HIM FOR ME

[@hptrans6605]

O

[@KimmieJ1920_LNC]

Married women who you were friends with before your divorce treat you like divorce is the flu and they don't want to catch it. That had been my experience and I had to create a new circle.

[@briannecaswell6204]

It was definitely for the best!!!

[@sunshine-wb7gr]

Very good 👍

[@PistolPete1980]

Studies show it is contagious

[@georgewilliams9372]

for her owner good

[@cheriemclean8491]

@@briannecaswell6204 You have new friends now 🥰

[@Overtonl1234]

My “perfect life” never included being married. I did it because I thought the person I married was completely different from the people I was used to dealing with all the way around. The part that I completely missed was the fact that I needed to care about myself. I cannot control the choices other people make and it certainly doesn’t make it my fault completely. I didn’t want to be a statistic but I had no choice. Now, I’m looking forward to rebuilding and becoming the person I want to be. It involves me and only me. Count on yourself and you won’t be let down.

[@LeaveNoEvident128]

Let me guess you were bored, wanted to be independent, you made your bed now lay on it.

[@loriecampbell7210]

Thank you for sharing. Really needed to hear this. I’ve really struggled trying to find my place in this new life.

[@DANAWORLD]

Me too

[@LW-wg4ny]

Me too

[@HopeHasWarriors]

Me too. But we will find our new lives💙 Even in our own, we are enough. 💛

[@chapterupwellbeing7520]

Sorry to hear what you are went through. What's the hardest thing you are dealing with now ? Can i ask how you've tried to heal ? Anything you've tried isn't working ? Looking to find a professional to help with separation and divorce and a potential virtual group support session 🙂

[@CalicoCooperFan]

The divorce experience is far different for the one initiating it versus the one that values the marriage and wants to try working through it. The one that wants it tends to "move on" far more quickly while the one that didnt want it takes far longer to heal from the devastation. It's rare that two people jointly decide to divorce at the same time. Instead of a bridge to cross, the one that doesnt want it is shoved off of a hundred story building.

[@seancoyle2408]

I'm recently facing my spouse seeking divorce and/or annulment. Emotional turmoil aside it's pain that you'll cross like a bridge over a river, yet the bridge as the river still remain. I'm saddened that for better or worse, richer or poorer, or sickness and health, ends before death do us part. that was the eternal promise that I made that I don't think my significant other was as equally prepared for. There's nothing that matches that discovery, that emotional pain, as far as I can tell. Oh I lied, there is ONE thing, when she tells you she's seeing someone else.

[@threeicys]

What she did took more courage and tears than we know. Instead of letting other peoples negative feedback pull her down she kept working toward a happy future for her daughter. Sometimes reality shatters your ideals in life. Her testimony encourages anyone who wants to redefine their dream of a peaceful life. The value of this talk can be applied to many situations in life where we are boxed in by a stereotype.

[@empowermentthroughtrials6673]

Thank you for saying that. I am currently going through a divorce. I am sharing my story on my youtube channel. Go check it out as I share empowering messages to those who are also going through or who have gone through a divorce.

[@coralrain6332]

Road Wonder exactly

[@angiesmith-sinclair789]

Thank you for this amazing presentation! This is perfect for sharing with the Divorce Support Group I lead :) This is paramount for women to realize that they... that WE ... are in control of our own destiny. We simply need to tune into the right frequency, turn the station or change the input altogether.

[@chapterupwellbeing7520]

Hi, curious to know, is it a paid support group? How often do you meet and how many participants?

[@angiesmith-sinclair789]

@@chapterupwellbeing7520 it is a no-charge online platform with over 20k members. I host a weekly "Let's Talk Tuesday" with different topics each week - also no charge. The intent is provide a healing space where women can be empowered, educated and elevated to move into the next chapter of their lives.

[@chapterupwellbeing7520]

@@angiesmith-sinclair789 well done, it would be great to participate in one of your podcasts and discuss the topic of divorce and healing :)

[@christinagurrola5335]

Ok so my opinion...this chick basically held an open marriage with the baby dad. Pretty lame, I want to hear about women that had to leave abusers and have no education. I want to know how to start rock bottom.

[@charliedavies3236]

Confront your cheating spouse with evidence, i was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding out..... it really helped me during my divorce ...you can contact (westhack000) on Instagram spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more, viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger, calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely, cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages, his services are AFFORDABLE .................................... ONLY GOD CAN THANK HIM FOR ME

[@sayaretmatkal80]

@@charliedavies3236 and you end up becoming an IT dude ,,,,,,hahahahaha...

[@briannecaswell6204]

Your divorced. Not dead. You pick yourself up and move forward. Get that job, even if it's at a gas station, then get that education. Become independent and move on. Men who abuse like to make you think your not capable! So instead of swimming in self pity and self doubt. You do what you have to do to get where you need to be. There is no one set of directions, other than safely get out and then figure it out. People who say that is impossible are only making excuses. Women do it every single days. Baby steps to big goals😊

[@Dkmeier123]

i am dealing with a huge problem that has become all consuming for the last year... thank you for your talk. I am changed

[@montybigbore6158]

Marriage is work from both parties most people forget this and don't think they both need to give what they want and show it to their spouse. It might just come back to you. To many give up to soon without any attempt to resolve it. They want a quick fix but will not think that they might just be lossing more than they will ever know

[@devyn5174]

Christopher Stuart yeah and everyone has their idea of what “quick” is. When I finally had to decide on divorce, my husband told me I wasn’t giving it enough time even though a year and a half passed. Plus I reached a point where I had evidence that he and I would make each other miserable in the long run (he is an amazing man, but we are just not compatible )When he heard me out, he finally understood why I concluded divorce and he ultimately agreed. (Although he is heartbroken because he would choose to be miserable with me than with anyone else. He doesn’t think it’ll be all that bad but I feel like it’s settling.) It was no “quick fix,” but just like my ex initially did, many people in my life will accuse it of being such. It’s not a helpful judgement for those of us going through divorce. It takes a LOT to “want” divorce because honestly, no one does. It has been one of the worst pains of my life to hurt my best friend. And it almost makes me regret getting married (because If I could go back, I would never put my ex through this again.) BUT at the same time, 6 out of these 8 years have been the best years of my life because of him. And he says he he doesn’t regret a thing, which makes me feel more at peace about it. It’ll take time for both parties to grow and heal from it. It isn’t easy.

[@dipikapatel4947]

what about when one of the parties completely shuts down and does not talk... despite many attempts by the spouse and other family members... when do you stop trying? when do you decide you leave for good?

[@k.ambriz9789]

Dipika Patel I don't think that's a question anyone else can answer for you. You know your selves and the situation better than anyone else. If you need it counseling can be a way to figure this out. For any relationship to succeed both parties to make an effort turning toward each other. Check out that idea from the Gottman Institute if you want to learn more.

[@brandyirizarry-blymier7253]

Monty Bigbore when someone miss reresents themselves for 10 yrs and then show a total different person what do you do. When you want counseling but they say it’s to late when they were hurting you weren’t but they didn’t tell you

[@St.Irenaeus]

Amen

[@babydoll6280]

The fact that you and another woman bought a house together is awesome and should be done more. A good friend is way more reliable than a relationship with a man unfortunately, because when they are done they go for your jugular. When a friend even if things get strained will still at least want well for you because of your children and past feelings because we are women with a nurturing spirit ( I know not all women are this way but most are). If I had to bet money on a women vs a man being around in times of hardship I would bet my money on the woman everytime especially when dealing with another woman.

[@pinkplight9992]

I disagree with you. Women I never there for anybody but themself most the times. How many times I've seen a man get sick or lose his money and woman just leaves. You say not all woman, but you can't deny the fact that 80 percent of woman start the divorce. Main reason, they fall out of love or they cheating.

[@babydoll6280]

@@pinkplight9992 I wrote this a month ago. I don't want to use energy to reply past this.

[@peoplez6734]

Im divorced and broke so ckeck your marriage out and make sure your with the right person

[@dianadundidit5343]

I agree...if she's into material things... Big sign

[@RoRiodd]

sadly, you cant defined and choose your own experience when your paycheck is not enough to pay rent, bills, food, health care, and all what is needed to support your kids and yourself

[@EboneeDebrah]

This is true. When the kids are hungry and you are stretching to your paycheck to cover everything....it would be nice to say I am going to choose not to experience lack today, lol.

[@misfit2022]

If people are aware 1 in 2 marriages end in bitter abject failure I do not understand why anyone would do it.

[@eleanorswiatek9477]

Yeah that's true..i read your comment and im sharing this testimony with you. My husband left me for another woman for good 5 years. I tried to be strong for our 3 kids but i couldn't control my pains so i searched and i found Efose on Instagram @mama tash. She is a powerful spell caster who helped me to get back my husband after some days which she cast the spell..she can also help you in any situation you are right now... Here you can contact or text me on WhatsApp so that i can give you her number or email address if you need her help .. Here is my contact [phone]

[@ShakiraG9339]

It seemed personal for the first few minutes but then really out of touch for the rest of the message. You got lucky staying with a friend to help you get through.

[@aaminkhan6989]

gnvk

[@reginamcnultytodd6964]

So impressive and this type of help is needed so badly for divorced stay at home moms.

[@mRuKjoe]

Regina Todd divorced stay home mom????? WTF.

[@Oh-happy-day]

I’m 59 and want a divorce because after my husband retired I realized he is a narcissist with no good feelings for me but realize he has no feelings at all. I just don’t know where to go

[@theaudreypuente]

Needed this. Thank you.

[@reneekelley4279]

I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whatsapp [phone] or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ?We have 2 kids together it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger.

[@georgewilliams9372]

how are you doing can will talk in private, that's very good

[@chapterupwellbeing7520]

Sorry to hear what you are went through. What's the hardest thing you are dealing with now ? Can i ask how you've tried to heal ? Anything you've tried isn't working ? Looking to find a professional to help with separation and divorce and a potential virtual group support session 🙂

[@jillcarney5491]

Thank you! I so needed to hear this...right down to ditching the Express clothes!!!!

[@chapterupwellbeing7520]

Sorry to hear what you are went through. What's the hardest thing you are dealing with now ? Can i ask how you've tried to heal ? Anything you've tried isn't working ? Looking to find a professional to help with separation and divorce and a potential virtual group support session 🙂

[@robinsiciliano9084]

Love this message so very much! Thank you!!!

[@CornerstoneBread]

Thank you for this positive and creative talk. It helped me. Sorry about the hateful comments of others.

[@heimmichael5607]

Hi

[@jonnyb8037]

I would love to hear her ex husbands side of this story. I wonder if it worked out so well for him. I doubt it. I’m sure “coparenting” is at his expense. She probably still rules the roost and that’s why it works out well for her

[@CLIFFORDBROOKE3]

@@primus7776 so true. The guy completely disappears and she hates him even if it's her fault.

[@michaelc2334]

Trae Brooke that’s exactly what happened to me. 12 years, we got along great. I caught her cheating and she blamed me for working too much. We divorced (she filed) and she blames me.

[@penashaketange47]

Divorce is not a painful thing as many ppl think,unless u mess it up,but God always favour his children, keep urself happy ,dust urself and move on,its life

[@MMEEKK88]

There’s a stigma towards divorce for good reason... I did enjoy hearing this lady’s experience and appreciate that she shared her story however this is not most people’s experience. Too many people get a divorce prematurely

[@empowermentthroughtrials6673]

Thank you for saying that. I am currently going through a divorce. I am sharing my story on my youtube channel. Go check it out as I share empowering messages to those who are also going through or who have gone through a divorce.

[@silasg3650]

I'm going through a divorce. And not by choice. I've done everything I could for my wife. Every decision was centered on her and our future together. She cheated. She planned it for weeks and had a guy over for three days while I was away. She refused to apologize or seek any kind of marital help. She wanted out. She had for a while. I had no idea she was even unhappy. We married young and we've only been married just over a year. I'm 23. I'm going to be a 23 year old divorcee. I fear the stigma I'm sure to face. My view of the whole world is shaken. I feel like I'm stuck in a bad dream. I have dreamed four times in the last week that my wife and I were back together, either she had come back and we fixed things or else the whole thing never happened. I agree with your statement. Most people end marriages prematurely. I personally believe marriage is for life and no matter what happens two people trying to make it work always will. The only failed marriage is one where one person stops trying.

[@lifetobelived9102]

I tried and tried. Not everyone gives up easily.

[@silasg3650]

@@lifetobelived9102 it's not about not giving up easy. It's about not giving up. A marriage can be fixed as long as both people are trying. As soon as someone quits it doesn't matter how small the cause was, it's over. Even if you start trying again, the fact that you opened that door makes it impossible to totally restore the trust that once was there. And let me be clear, if your partner has withdrawn, doesn't talk, is negligent and when you confront them directly and seriously about these problems and they just brush it off or whatever, then they've already quit. At that point the divorce is a formality. But the whole point of marriage is supposed to be that no matter what, you don't quit. If both people keep their vows there, then it will always work. Though it may not be easy.

[@lifetobelived9102]

@@silasg3650 My ex had an alcohol problem and wouldn't get treatment. I tried my best but as someone told me it takes two people. It was either sink under the burden or leave.

[@ladkirit]

A wonderful positive message for persons like undergoing an agonizing experience of separation.

[@spacemooseable]

According to Pew Research, single fathers are financially more stable and, thus, in a better condition to take care of their children than single mothers. The annual income of a single father may be around $40,000, which is far more than a single mother's annual income of $26,000 (7).Mar 14, 2023

[@PB-oo4pu]

Wonderful! Strong lady!

[@nspihu]

Well unfortunately there is a major downside to such an approach or outlook... it kind of promotes the idea of taking divorce. Unless there is a major issue .. involving cheating , loyalty, violence... One must put in full effort to make a marriage work and it applies to both spouses. Every marriage is bound to have issues and therefore both partners must work as a team to make it work come what may.

[@soulbeing3437]

I understand everyone saying to try and make your marriage work and I absolutely don’t promote divorce but I applaud her for knowing things couldn’t work and getting out versus doing what I did...seeing my husband eye every woman in sight, listening and watching him value any woman besides me, and thinking it was no big deal for THIRTY YEARS before the marriage finally ended in violence. If you are trying to save your marriage, man or woman, but it’s not working be honest with yourself about whether or not you can live with it. Don’t worry about people judging you. Between you and God is all that matters. God knows your heart and innermost thoughts.

[@kathleenkelly9888]

@@soulbeing3437 Some marriages are so dangerous. It has taken over 30 years to get out of mine. Every minute is a struggle to move forward but I have hope that there is a good place ahead. People who make us feel bad about leaving abuse behind, have never walked in our shoes. Stay strong.

[@Firepaw20011]

Sometimes you're just not compatible and it took some time to realize it.

[@chachachacha7515]

Useless. Marriage is work, contract between 2 people. I recognize my ex wife speech. She cheated on me during 3 years with lots of men, and at the end left with a woman and took my daughter. She would express the same ideas.

[@JoaoHolandes]

I feel sorry for you. I had a woman like that. I am happy to be without here. She is doing the thing she wants to do. I live my life like a want it. Namaste.

[@SilverLakeKingdom]

The recent study says if anyone in your first/immediate circle of friends/relatives gets a divorce you have 75% chance to end up the same way. If someone in your second circle of friends/relatives gets a divorce then you have 33% to end up divorced yourself.

[@Wildchile]

If you need glasses, you get glasses. If you need a divorce, you get a divorce. It’s not contagious like a cold.

[@patiencezarwie3581]

That was wonderful, you just helped me get myself back together, good job

[@FirstnameLastname-wx2ck]

This lady has some serious guns! 💪

[@kathycole1]

Thank you so much! So informative and real.. Bless you.

[@denispinard2899]

Great talk

[@ireneaguero-torres1586]

Excellent talk!

[@BravoRecsKat]

This is the best video wow

[@brendacampbell8438]

I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him, tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app [phone] or text and call them directly on the same number. They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ? We have 2 kids together. it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger..

[@Zelous167business]

This is awesome and hope more people catch on

[@reneekelley4279]

I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whatsapp [phone] or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ?We have 2 kids together it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger.

[@BriangjohnsonTv]

My goodness, what a amazing analogy and story.

[@Rachel-gv6hw]

This speaker constantly refers to divorce as a stigma !! The days of remaining in a physically or mentally abusive relationship because of the so-called stigma of divorce are long gone. It is a mental torture for the abused spouse and the children of such marriages as the children assume that being an abuser or a victim of abuse is normal acceptable behavior. Such negative behavior is passed on in the marriages of such children in the absence of therapeutic intervention.

[@haemse]

and you refer to the stigma that there is always an abusing spouse and one that is beeing abused ... in most cases it just doesnt fit anymore, thats it.

[@lesliemontagne6797]

In the beginning she did say divorce was "stigmetizing". And yes, it is still but in a much less shameful way; really less. Remember she pointed to and applauded the way Gwennyth Paltrow handled and spoke about her divorce. People made fun of a woman who was doing her best to split on a good not, with family intact, not damaged. She pointed this out as a model for future divorce.

[@pattynomas]

Thia is positive. Informative, presents a hopeful outlook! Is was week done and necessary . Thanks

[@chestrockwell7306]

It’s proven that women after 30 profit after divorce..I just got divorced after 20 years and she had my income her income and her affairs income..judge told me to dumpster dive when I asked how will I make it

[@Aaaaaaaaapnd]

But she didnt specify the problems in her marriage

[@empowermentthroughtrials6673]

Thank you for saying that. I am currently going through a divorce. I am sharing my story on my youtube channel. Go check it out as I share empowering messages to those who are also going through or who have gone through a divorce.

[@dollarcostbackpacker1226]

She wanted authority and power... Enlisted a psychiatrist for leverage. Could not rule over him hemce divorce.

[@soulbeing3437]

Great talk. By God’s will, your talk inspired me. You inspired me because you are going through what I am going through, although you are young, tall, and beautiful. I would have thought those attributes would have made you bulletproof because I am probably twice your age or more, short, and not nearly as beautiful and felt like that was what doomed me. I wish you didn’t have to experience anything negative ever, although as I said in another comment, it seems pain is necessary in the formula for growth. Besides researching a lot, and talking a lot, the thing that has helped me the most is remembering that God Almighty is Who I should have always trusted and depended on, and when I gave that to a man my world was in chaos, and now that I’m learning to give it back to God, where it belongs, I am healing by His mercy. God guide you and bless you with peace and happiness.

[@vinize]

Amem, I also just went through a divorce, it is extremely painful, my ex-wife simply gave up in the very first difficulties and we were only married for 6 months...I still ashamed and somewhat lost about what to do next, because, I had the dream of staying married and have a family with her and now its all gone. God has been the only true source of strenght and courage to help me through this, because, unfortunaly even family and friends can have good intentions they dont really understand that and they sometimes will give you advices or even straight tell what to do, just because they think they know best. I kind did the similar thing like you, i put a lot of trust and focus on my partner, instead of GOD and that cost me a lot and it is still costing me, but, at least now I got t put my trust and my life in God's hands again and that gives me confort. May he bless you too!

[@soulbeing3437]

@@vinize God bless you too.

[@LeAnne-uw3wp]

Thanks for the Awesome video 👍💯

[@-GAvinashtamarapalli]

I heard so many people talk on what to do after divorce and ironically non of them are men and non of them reported it as toxic or abusive relationship. Can someone tell me(or to them) how to fix a marriage and not to be a NARCISSIST!!!!!! Cause when you make breaking things easy, it make building so hard that you start to enjoy broken pieces instead.

[@Thesidsentinel]

I'm pregnant and considering divorce. I'm terrified of delivering this child and then realizing that my husband is wrong for me. The reasons I have recurring doubts are: he secretly got engaged behind my back before our marriage-it still breaks my heart, I forgave him, he then lied to me again about another relationship, I forgave him again and we got married. He has been decent with me since our marriage. When I got married, I had zero baggage no divorce no kids and actually my husband is the only person I have ever been with. He has been married 3 times previously. He is working hard to be nice to me but occasionally when he lies to other ppl it just reminds me he is a dishonest person at heart. Idk. I'm afraid if I divorce him I may not find anyone else and die childless. I come from a traditional culture and I defied my whole family to marry him at age 33 (they wanted me to stay at home like a teenager my whole life). But sometimes I think I just wanted to escape.

[@beauxui]

Sidra Aamer Don’t make decisions based on fear, but rather based on love. Fear of “being alone and childless”...that’s BS...but is that how you’ll end up, it is better than being miserable and lied to in a marriage. Do you feel loved by a person who lies to you and others in a regular basis? Why do you want to have a child with this person? He’s going to lie to that child as well. Love your self enough to know what you deserve. One you love yourself you will find that person who appreciates you.

[@damienr3086]

your fault. you knew how he was before you married him. you also got pregnant knowing all of this. youll be a single mother that's for sure. unless you get an abortion. however, killing your baby for your mistakes is b.s.

[@empowermentthroughtrials6673]

Thank you for saying that. I am sorry you're going through a difficult time. I am currently going through a divorce. I am sharing my story on my youtube channel. Go check it out as I share empowering messages to those who are also going through or who have gone through a divorce.

[@jab19841]

Damien Runner very insensitive. Is there any benefit of your comments to her?

[@damienr3086]

@@jab19841 yes there is, a different opinion. you must be a liberal. im neither and freedom of speech jab. I can say whatever i want. Hey jab, have you ever thought, said or did anything insensitive in the past or recently?

[@bethsanford9076]

I LOVED this talk! It was SO encouraging and inspirational. It makes me feel like I can do this; and in fact I AM already doing it.

[@chapterupwellbeing7520]

Sorry to hear what you are went through. What's the hardest thing you are dealing with now ? Can i ask how you've tried to heal ? Anything you've tried isn't working ? Looking to find a professional to help with separation and divorce and a potential virtual group support session 🙂

[@doodlebob4143]

Yes women. Be strong and leave your husbands and kids to 50/50 custody to ride the carousel until you realize you made a mistake when it's too late and that no man takes you seriously for long term commitment.

[@HomeRene]

Maybe if they treated us right, We’d stay.

[@winalways957]

Must read book is "Separation and Divorce Surviving with Your Children-by Bridget Michaels

[@shivakumarv301]

To control your situation, you need to control yourself and your near and dear ones.

[@LynnePedigoRidayReiter]

Sharing with a loved one--thank you!

[@georgewilliams9372]

love is about choice, how are you doing

[@spacemooseable]

Children of single parents are more prone to various psychiatric illnesses, alcohol abuse, and suicide attempts than children from homes with two parents. One of the common reasons for single parenting is divorce.Aug 12, 2021

[@alicjayilmaz8985]

This only works if the other party is reasonable. Not always the case.

[@danielszambelan6876]

The lifestyle at the end mentioning living with other families and side hustles sounds horrible. Sorry but I like the idea of being married in the traditional sense. Sorry it didn’t work out for you.

[@tulipchic34]

I have left a partnership of 18 years. We were both miserable. It’s hard but better

[@tulipchic34]

M I’m going ok. There are ups and downs but at the end of the day it’s all for the better, I got full-time work and now have to buy him out of the house

[@Hachiko_459]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[@empowermentthroughtrials6673]

I am currently going through a divorce. I am sharing my story on my youtube channel. Go check it out as I share empowering messages to those who are also going through or who have gone through a divorce.

[@thetwinspuppetshow71]

Love it!!!

[@sunsetlights100]

Left the husband after he reno the house. I don't mean to judge but...

[@ENIGMAXII2112]

I was thinking the same...

[@josephinen.8491]

Brilliant and well done.

[@spacemooseable]

According to Pew Research, single fathers are financially more stable and, thus, in a better condition to take care of their children than single mothers. The annual income of a single father may be around $40,000, which is far more than a single mother's annual income of $26,000 (7).Mar 14, 2023

[@Mushroom321-]

👏great, encouraging for women

[@clairebearie87]

@8:30 you were close with the first letter but the answer isn't a search engine

[@yscohen]

G O D

[@steveelam4810]

Every situation has different dynamics, you can't talk for all our pain,you're pretty person on a stage with your insite

[@jayJay-zh3bn]

just make sure you remarried by 60 or before, or it's going to be a lot of lonely times.

[@googlecritic2773]

You don’t have to be lonely in your 60s Lots of people that age looking for friends

[@googlecritic2773]

You don’t have to be lonely in your 60s Lots of people that age looking for friends

[@sagefi1]

Hmmmm, well there are no tax benefits of being married, only tax benefits of having kids. Two people who both work and have no kids actually pay more tax than if they were each single. They call it the "marriage penalty".

[@erikg5776]

I’m glad that we have the opportunity to have a relationship with Jesus. He never initiate a divorce. He’s not selfish thinking “what’s best for me, myself and I”. No matter how much you sin against him, he will forgive and forget your sins. I’m not perfect and I’m definitely not worth to be called a child of God, but I know Jesus will forgive all my sins. If every man and woman on earth could do the same the world would be totally different today. Just love one another.

[@shivakumarv301]

A divorce is nothing to be feared but definitely a thing to understood.

[@shoheisasakura6309]

Well I’m glad SHE found her better way out, but most of the singleparental cases are much different; kids have to work themselves for some years to go to college or never go, get something they’re passionate about but financial always doesn’t make it, all sorts of stuff some of which I’m facing now. Divorces happen, but if you’re a parent I’d really like you to not think through your decision, but to build rather solid financial status to base your life on and plan as many things as you can think of in advance. Otherwise even if you can be happy for a sec by putting an end to your perfect land life, aftermath gets rough on your kids.

[@empowermentthroughtrials6673]

Thank you for saying that. I am currently going through a divorce. I am sharing my story on my youtube channel. Go check it out as I share empowering messages to those who are also going through or who have gone through a christian divorce.

[@coralrain6332]

Empowerment Through Trials STOP SPAMMING

[@amandasmith8327]

Excellent message

[@jnoodle3656]

"everyone you know has passed this bridge or will soon be passing it" - we all get married? huh?

[@OBSVFULC]

*Co-Living* ?!

[@shivakumarv301]

There is nothing called sucess or failure. It is you who define it. You need to be more considerate and careful when define you idea of perfection.

[@niltomega2978]

Marriage is like having a gun to your head that the other person can use at any time. 70% of the time women pull the trigger and boom...both are hurled into poverty.

[@Figuremakr]

As soon as she starting using the words like "perfect" and "lucky"...barf.

[@matthewhoover6424]

Thank you for your words.

[@robharding5661]

Veteran of health care marketing?, put my blood sweat and tears into building my home, oh wait! Princess magazines help me feel better than everyone. Moved into that home and who pays for it women. Not you because you couldn't afford it you said.

[@BodhiShakti]

Wow. That was impressive!

[@callarite1]

Let's face it... Divorce at it's core is because either one or both of the people are deeply selfish, and unwilling to work on themselves and/or put in the self sacrifice to make the relationship work. The "strong woman" of divorce sentiment is a lie. The selfish and narcissist wife who was never abused and was served by her husband is usually the real story. There are the exceptions with abuse and addiction, but the general cultural acceptance of this selfishness ruins our culture.

[@magnucolt]

Damn she has great, strong arms. Looks so good 😍

[@TheMagarro]

What about the men that hurt .. Sounds very selfish me me me.. I . I. I....

[@briannecaswell6204]

Once your divorced as a woman it is no longer our responsibility to the hurt feelings of the man we were once married to. . . Just as it is no longer your issue of how we feel. Which most men make crystal clear. . . How about you be open minded and take her examples and apply them to your life as well. No where does she say only women can do this. Only women can change their perspective. Apply her theory Find a man who shares your values and your beliefs . Be his roommate. Use that companionship to not only lighten the load financially, but mentally. Having good friends help when your lonely. Build the tribe around you. A new one if you must. Look at divorce as a way to start over not live in a desolate desert of self pity.... you too sir are quick to throw in the what about "I" Expand your thinking a little. Trust me it helps with the hurting

[@Wildchile]

Brianne Caswell Best comment of the year, you’re my kind of person. You just explained the difference between shallow thinking and deep thinking. Let’s be friends 😃

[@dianadundidit5343]

In my case my very BITTER and hurt ex husband is worse than ANY bitter woman story I have ever heard! A straight narcissist. He's supposedly moved on for six years now has a 3 year old. After 8 years trying to get a divorce it finally happened! And still he has to bring me to court YET again.. he's a freaking headache.

[@raymondsilveira1936]

most likely you were with someone with narcissistic tendencies like the speaker...do the opposite find time to heal instead of getting "roommates" then you will break the cycle...understand why you were attracted to such a person ...most likely she has a personality disorder....she wasnt partnership material....she was empty inside and this is her way of taking control of her life...at your expense,the kids expense and the relationship's expense....let the hurt tear through you..but remain open...you will find you deserve better than a shallow person...and you only find her when you understand yourself

[@shivakumarv301]

A meaningful life is life with a purpose. Love purpose of your life and love yourself.

[@drtoboggan7469]

True inspiration and strength is a woman that actually has perseverance and doesnt rely on divorce to fix all her problems. She is not an inspiration she is just 1 of many that dumps out when it gets tough minus abuse or cheating. Its women like this that are trying to make divorce as a woman's success story that make it look attractive to others. She will grow old lose her looks and realize she is just 1 of many clueless women that believe divorce is a option. That's not what marriage is. It would be nice if She knew she is hurting the world by standing on a stage and explaining how perseverance is not the answer.

[@bullswoodworks8398]

These TED talks are becoming bull@#$%...............ugh how do people sit in the chairs and listen to this BS?

[@LeaveNoEvident128]

HAHAHHAHAH, all these women coping with divorces love it.

[@classyteacherdiva]

Spot on!

[@artdag3441]

Divorce as a man

[@robharding5661]

You're

[@kanchokomancho1]

Dear men, DO NOT MARRY

[@mickeysealtoe9719]

Didn't have to watch the whole video and I can already smell it off this one. Problem i see everyday with these suburbanites. I know what they are missing.

[@gouthamchandanala7188]

What?

[@amirshehzad5582]

Any one divorced contract pls

[@thomasklein7079]

Wow they’re really just letting anybody do TedTalks these days aren’t they lmao

[@professorlayabout4878]

Thomas Klein “You go girl!”

[@jordanhart9441]

No thanks

[@healingypsy]

This is why white men marry women from cultures where they value marriage and not divorce as a cop out. and we certainly don't take 2 cents advice from therapist giving suggestions about something that breaks up the family unit. No matter what this woman says divorce takes a part of you forever and is never an empowering experience. So sad this woman making her life changing decisions based on her therapist, Gwyneth Paltrow and google - she has absolutely no positive role models within her community

[@oscarwinner2034]

Wait - it looks cool because Gwyneth did it - so that's what she wants too. Wonder how this lady is doing today, 5 years later. I'll bet she's remarried to someone who's financially better than her ex (especially after taking half of her ex's money).

[@rudraom9]

Sadie God bless u sweetheart love u take care ....R G G

[@Jorjina.hayatt]

Good perspective: but why cant americans live with their own family members on shared living basis in such situations?and have to live with perfect strangers? this could be very problematic longterm. and then there is the whole debate of your children mixing with other genders freely and be open to victimization..and then what is morality etc etc

[@shivakumarv301]

Better to control your spouse then search for a ideal spouse.

[@michaelreed9557]

Lol I made it to the bridge by

[@ItsOverEasyTV]

Our founder is big about this idea that divorce is just one chapter. She created it's over easy so you can get divorced right from home, have access to legal help when you need it, and avoid bankrupting yourself. This way, you can move on with your life after a more amicable divorce. Never feel lost, confused, or overwhelmed. We know divorce sucks, but it doesn’t have to be that way & we’ve simplified the process so it’s over easy!

[@Hyderabadidunyakasafar]

I'm single boy I need very beautifull Divorced woman