What Makes a Person Decide to Donate His Kidney to a Stranger? | Ned Brooks | TEDxNatick

It was an ordinary day for a retired businessman until he listened to a podcast and found that the subject resonated with him well beyond anything he could have imagined. The ramification of Ned's decision to make an altruistic donation was initially felt within his immediate family, but ultimately the ripple effects were far reaching and led to personal connections that Ned never could have foreseen.
Ned is a retired businessman and newly-minted grandparent who underwent a life-changing experience which led him to create the foundation Donor-to-Donor.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@jeffh1723]

I donated my kidney on January 16, 2019. My Recipient was a customer I met at the furniture store where I work:) As soon as I heard of his condition, I knew I was supposed to donate. So glad I did! It was a marker in my life. I don't believe I can ever look at "life" the way I did before.

[@nedbrooks1234]

Jeff, that is wonderful. You are one of us. Good for you, the rest of your life will be happier with the knowledge of the gift you have made.

[@dannymacapagal3670]

Can you please help me find a kidney donor...i need one. Thank you!

[@kidneedonor8088]

@@dannymacapagal3670 I have experience in this. My advise is first you have to be aggressive and willing to accept help. Don't directly ask but make it known to everyone that you need help. Second put a sign on the back of your car saying "kidney donor needed". Have them respond to an email address. It's even better if a friend does this for you, especially if you find a person who has donated. They know all the "what about" and the "what if" questions that potential donors have. From this sign you will quickly receive many responses. Treat everyone who answers as THE donor because 99.9% of respondents will wash out for one reason or another. I have personally been involved in this and have seen this plan work. However it took over a year and two rounds of the sign on the car. Over 500 responded and ONE finally went all the way. It takes work and effort and you have to expose some personal information about yourself to strangers but it may be worth it. I am 6 plus years post my own donation and I can say that at least this donor's life is unchanged and I am thankful I could qualify to donate. Good Luck Danny.

[@schoolemily1491]

U r a real human We really feel scared every day with kidney disease. Keep praying

[@mariachavez4050]

I don't believe this

[@BeccaRue95]

In a little over 9 hours I’ll be having my surgery to donate my kidney to a stranger. It’s such a lovely feeling knowing I have an opportunity to help someone else out there. 😊

[@-.-Dude-.-]

Are you okay now dear? I hope everything went well, you have a beautiful soul and you are inspiring

[@sjs74]

How did it go?

[@BeccaRue95]

@@-.-Dude-.- aww thank you :) the surgery was a success! I’m recovering at home. I don’t know much about the recipient but I do know their surgery also went well so I’m over the moon :)

[@BeccaRue95]

@@sjs74 the surgery was a success on both sides :)

[@traditionrider]

God bless you Ned Brooks for not only becoming an altruistic donor but taking the time to speak with others about live-kidney donation.

[@lorifenton4398]

I'm scheduled for non-directed donation three weeks from now. Thank you for speaking about how being an altruistic donor is just something one knows. We get asked multiple times during the evaluation process "why do you want to donate" and we know it's so hard to explain in a way that others will understand. I had heard about Abigail Marsh's study on a podcast, The Happiness Lab, the very week I started my evaluation process so I knew it was meant to be.

[@iamURHO]

You're a blessing. Praise God for your heart and your experiences in life (good and bad) that made you become who you are and be able to decide. Planning to donate as well.

[@henrybutchy3242]

I donated to help a friend. There are many problems that I cannot fix; this ain't one.

[@robinvedaa7813]

This video helped me start my journey to become a living organ donor and today I am now a double living organ donor. I was lucky enough to meet both my recipients ( I donated to strangers) and my life is forever changed for the better. It literally changed my outlook on life and what I thought was important versus what really is... Thanks Ned for this great video!

[@terryroberts768]

My brother had a kidney transplant 11 years ago. I have been on dialysis for 2 years and I am waiting on a transplant. There are over 100,000 people awaiting a transplant. The only way to reduce this number is for more people to chose to donate.

[@anirbanbiswas9445]

8670890628

[@rajc7954]

Me and my friend ready to Donate a kidney, I have A+ and My friend AB+ if you need A+ or AB+ Kidney. Please reply this message. We have passport also. thank you

[@annereid8572]

It's always reassuring to know you're not alone in what seems like a crazy decision! I donated my journey to a stranger on Monday - I started the process, having not even finished reading a news article about an altruistic donor before I was emailing the nearest centre!

[@annereid8572]

*kidney!

[@sjs74]

What an interesting video this was to me! I am donating non-directed in a little over three weeks. I, too had that same feeling of "I have to do this". And I also had a conversation with my kids and they were approving. Thank you for sharing your story and I pray that all seeking a kidney and all those donating one live a healthy and happy life.

[@-.-Dude-.-]

You are absolutely amazing, what a beautiful soul

[@judithjohnson2111]

Wow. Evidently I desperately needed this big cry that Im in the middle of right now. I gave my beautiful daughter a kidney 35 years ago. In 1987, most everything was different than it is today. Its all a very long story,but. she lost the kidney due to toxicity.within 2 years. They know so much more these days. She was so ill she was blessed with a cadaver kidney.She fought rejection hard but came out the other side with her fighting spirit intake. She had 20 years of living she enjoyed. Sadly I lost my daughter 3yrs.ago..And now my 1st born daughter needs a kidney.(asap).Im 70yrs. old & only wish I could give her the one I have left. So thank you for the talk & inspiration. Im terribly overwhelmed at the moment. You sure open the floodgates.And I must have really needed this cry because I can't seem to stop.Your amazing. God bless.

[@nedbrooks1234]

Judith, I am so sorry that you lost your daughter and now your other daughter needs a kidney; more than any mother should have to endure.

[@anirbanbiswas9445]

8670890628

[@OM-md6ki]

God bless you always!!! Seriously, People are here for you! And life is perfect in the overall scheme

[@perfectstorms4176]

18 yrs old and almost 2 yrs on dialysis. Waiting for a kidney donor ❤️ god bless us all

[@shahalasulthanapt4733]

which blood group

[@BALJINDERSINGH-fx2xr]

I want to sell my kidney

[@starscanshineonlywhenitsda2998]

Q

[@Neetu.TheDialysisGirl]

@@BALJINDERSINGH-fx2xr hi

[@vjk344]

I want sell my kidney

[@rachelbensler5717]

Thanks to this video I am donating in less than a day ❤️❤️

[@harryagrotis326]

As a dialysis patient on the NY waiting list I thank you for what you do and the ultimate gift you so unselfishly gave to a complete stranger. Angels do exist and miracles do happen 🙏 Thank you.

[@kidneedonor8088]

Absolutely love this video. I 100% agree with everything you say. I also donated to a stranger four years ago at age 60. I am also proud to say I am a bone marrow donor too. These are the best things I will ever do. Like you, I just absolutely positively HAD to do this. Unfortunately I am left with two disappointments. First, I was clearly told that I might never hear a word from my recipient and that is what happened. I thought no one on earth would ever accept this gift and not respond but I was wrong. I in no way want to be thanked but what an enormous disappointment to not know if I made a difference or not. I don't even know if my recipient is alive or not. The hospital will tell me nothing citing patient confidentiality rules. Unless both parties agree to meet, nothing happens. My recipient couldn't even muster an anonymous note. My second disappointment is knowing that not a single person at the large institution where I gave will do this themselves. Not one of the people in the renal program will be a donor yet they advocate for donation. Perhaps they're all outfitted with tiny amygdalas. Despite all this I feel an extreme sense of accomplishment. Again I just absolutely HAD to do this.

[@nedbrooks1234]

Kidneedonor - I am very sorry you have not heard from your recipient. I know how much it means to learn anything at all about your recipient's condition. The process at NYPH is that you can send a note to your recipient via your coordinator, and it will get passed to the recipient's coordinator and then on to the recipient. If you have not done that, I suggest that you try it and see if you get a response. As to your second concern, I know of several doctors and nurses who have donated but not as many as you might expect given their line of work. I find it curious as well.

[@kidneedonor8088]

I did write my recipient 2 years ago. There was no response.

[@kidneedonor8088]

I must add this for those researching donating. For me, despite my disappointment mentioned above, I am quietly very proud and also very grateful that I meet the requirements to be able to donate. I am 4+ years post donation and my health and life is unchanged. You know if this is right for you or not. Medical professionals will give you the most thorough medical exam you've ever had to verify. Good Luck!

[@mindful1044]

Kidneedonor sorry for your disappointment but rest assured that you are an absolutely brave and loving person. The recipient might have his/her own personal reasons. But you made a difference. People like you have further given me the courage to donate my kidney to someone very special in my life. I’ll be doing this soon. Thank you!

[@terahwieland8482]

Well, you don’t know me, but we are hoping for my husband to get a third transplant. The first gift was his sister (bless her!). The second was a cadaver donor. We have had 10 years on dialysis to start and a total of almost 30 years transplanted-raised 3 kids to all the docs surprise. He had a triple bypass and aortic valve replacement a year and a half ago and we knew the second kidney was on it’s way out but they practically promised us total renal failure post-op and were correct. We hope to be qualified to be on the list here soon. The first place backed out on him; they are stats focused and are hopefully sending us to Mayo. I just felt like thanking you sort of by proxy. The road can be really hard emotionally for the recipients and they don’t get checked first for amygdala size;)-they just have to be running hot all the time to cope. But the spirit of giving that you shared with your recipient I believe is related to a higher power (God!) so the giving is all coming from that direction. And reading your story meant a lot to me, so thank you. One of the gals that works at the dialysis center my husband goes to donated a kidney. My hubby was astonished (um, amygdala!) and asked why….? She looks at him and puts her hands out to all the other patients there and say-‘this!’. I know we are racing the clock and I tell folks, he’s a life worth saving. And they all are. God bless you!

[@stormycannon8904]

Thank you so much. I am o + and made the move,testing now for my brother,I put myself in his shoes and you are absolutely right about the feeling of rejection from family. But I can and will help.

[@whingdinger]

Ned...thank you for doing this....as a current patient on the waiting list, this gives me hope that a live fully lived will be possible in the future.....thank you!!

[@deborahmclean3008]

Ned Brooks is an incredible human being. He is a living angel 😇! Praying for an angel to appear to share one of their healthy kidneys with my brother Tommy,who I love very much. I am also praying for all of the 100,000 patients on the waiting list for a kidney donation. I am praying for the 38 million people with kidney disease too.

[@bekahjoy6600]

This has only solidified my decision.

[@JohnTheRecoilJunkie]

Just got an email from Ned. Looks like I'm getting started.

[@vidyareddy1662]

Hello John, would you be interested to test for my friend. I tested to be a donor. Unfortunately I was declined. I am trying to help my friend super hero who can share his kidney

[@sheilah9236]

Thank you. This talk is beautiful.

[@renemasonchapman3598]

Thank you for your generosity! I was blessed with a kidney from a friend! God bless you! You are doing something so significant with your life.

[@vvs1855]

My dad needs a kidney, he is O+ blood type and he’s been battling this for over 6 years, someone be our miracle 🙏🏽 we live here in Houston Texas.

[@saipraba0028]

Hai sir M.PRABAKARAN thiruvannmalai o pastive blood group my kidney sale

[@nicolelangley6165]

I will be donating a kidney August 1st this year

[@traditionrider]

You are my hero Nicole!

[@archerlady]

How did it go, Nicole? I had my transplant a month later.

[@shawnsgirl4ever1]

How’d your recovery go

[@bekahjoy6600]

It's quite interesting! When surveyed, Amygdalas (the "almonds" at the beginning) in serial killers such as Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, ect, are found to be shrunken but at least 18%, which may allow the serial killers to murder without feeling remorse. It is the exact opposite in the case of Living Doners cases and in the cases of people expressed to be "empaths". However, having a small Amygdala doesn't necessarily mean you will have the same lack of emotions as a serial killer, who are typically influenced through an abusive childhood.

[@Arunava_Gupta]

It's not the amygdala. It is the nature of the human personality. Humans are by nature eternal personalities with a compassionate and empathetic nature. There are different degrees of manifestation of this eternally kind nature in the material existence, however.

[@KenNewman-ec2ji]

Thankyou. I'm in the UK and got my kidney at the end of an altruistic donor chain. I was on the deceased donor list and the spare donor at the end if the chain gave their kidney. The altruistic donor led to my Golden Ticket.

[@mountaingirl1995]

God bless you. I am on the other side of this situation and am in need. My sister, a match, declined. You have saved her life, given her a second life💞 You are amazing!!! Thank you for sharing this message. God bless you😊 kb

[@LindsayViguePhotographyBristol]

Cheering you on and hoping your new kidney comes your way soon. :)

[@barryjones8123]

@Pinky jones Its her sister...not a stranger. Her own flesh and blood.

[@markus_selloi]

thank you

[@rkem139]

This is so true and hard to explain to others that for some weird reason it is something you -have- to do. Once I knew I was accepted, it would have taken a cataclysm to stop me from going through with it. My only regret is that I'm now all out of spare kidneys because I'd be lining up to do it again.

[@kidneedonor8088]

I donated 10 years ago. I was, and still am, of the same mindset.

[@leecrowder4934]

I’m in the process of registering to become a living donor. I’ve donated bone marrow twenty years ago and I see it as a way to try to leave the world in a better place.

[@shawnsgirl4ever1]

I’m here to learn more perspective on being living kidney donor

[@martaalarcon3313]

Thank you for the talk. It's inspiring. My son is 17 years old. He is in dyalisis and he is sad because he has a lot of limitations in his young life.He needs a trasplant but I don't have the connections, time and resources to find a donor. How may I connect with your organization?

[@starscanshineonlywhenitsda2998]

A

[@Swampertchamp]

Nice talk!

[@kabo0m]

There was a guy in my unit who died just 2 weeks ago .. just 2 weeks before his living transplant was to take place :(

[@barryjones8123]

These people are amazing...and there aren't many of them around. I need a kidney but i'd like to think if I was healthy I would donate to somebody else. I don't see many negatives.

[@vijayarya2688]

Thank you very much

[@kimheilman186]

I go for my testing on June 18th hoping to be a match for my husbands co-worker. Something I’ve always wanted to do.

[@archerlady]

Hey Kim, how did it go?

[@freya1689]

I'm desperate to donate a kidney. I wanted to wait until hopefully I get married one day as I didn't know if it could cause complications during pregnancies. I'm going to ask my GP if I'm safe to donate one as I am terrible for holding in wee for hours as I'm a health care assistant. Realistically, I can't do it for a while as I'd need my parents to spend lots of time with me after my operation and they can't leave my grandad alone as he gets upset. Also, I'd need a month off work and my current work place gives no sick pay when you have time off which is really bad for places in England.

[@guadalupezalazar9919]

Thak you so much Mr for those beautiful words I'm waiting for a kidney transplant I have been on dialisis for 6 years and have lose my hope to many time but I still believe that God has a better life for me

[@nedbrooks1234]

Don't give up hope, tell everyone by all means possible that you need a kidney

[@guadalupezalazar9919]

@@nedbrooks1234 I won't thank you so much God blessed you 🙏

[@joeshmoe7967]

why are we not doing more R&D to prevent this seemingly upsurge in kidney disease? And also perfecting an artificial kidney.

[@nedbrooks1234]

Joe, you're back! I'm thinking maybe you secretly want to be a donor. Please consider it, it's easier than you may think.

[@ramonsanabria1472]

Freak in amazing talk !

[@franstrohm6110]

Thank you Ned.

[@kabo0m]

Only one person in my family came forward .. my mother. She could not donate even though she was a perfect match because the percentage of her kidney function they said she should not donate. No other offers. My middle brother is too scared and my youngest brother has his own health problems. My dad would never offer as he has health problems as well. I have not asked any relatives.

[@barryjones8123]

@Pinky jones Wow pinky Jones, you need to get off this page...it's for people with empathy.F off

[@ss8578]

No one in mine came forward. My siblings have the same condition, but the cousins, aunt, uncles, etc, no one was willing. I was very lucky other people cared enough to be tested and after 2 years of people testing, found a match.

[@JoseyTurn17]

You, Ned are amazing. I'm not even half human as you are whole. I'm praying to be as Jesus, still under construction.

[@nedbrooks1234]

You give me far too much credit, what I did is something we could all do. It really isn't hard and you will feel good about what you have done for the rest of your days.

[@ginopirone7319]

I just signed up to be a donor

[@nelidasilva7388]

OMG, Ned you are more than a hero, I would love to have the same size of amygdala that yours, I need a few days to make it grow. Blessings to you

[@rich788]

Donors should be able to sell organs if they want. More people would donate. The Doctors make money doing the surgery, the recipient gets a second chance, and the donor takes all the risks.

[@mosquitosthrash6811]

great science question

[@NonayobiZ]

this is intresting

[@UNIVERSALAHMED]

Dear Dr. u have made my mind my wife is on Dialysis for 21 Years and I know exactly what she goes through every day IN SHA ALLAH I am going to do it.

[@commentersname8576]

Thank you

[@margarethernandez5754]

My husband needs a kidney I decided no thinking told him I am donating my kidney to you with luck we are a positive told him no regrets went threw all the tests required now just waiting for the date g d bless you all

[@brentkruger7494]

I just found out that I am approved to donate my kidney and that I'm a match with my recipient. She's a lady I saw on the news. Don't know her at all.

[@iamURHO]

As a non-directed donor, you don't know who's going to be receiving your kidney until after the operation, and then only if both parties agree.

[@ss8578]

It depends on which state you live-rules are different depending.

[@abcdefg6153]

I advise no one if you wanted to stay healthy i donated mine 11 years ago and I regret that 😢

[@pangliamlosu7477]

What is the cost of kidney??? Cus I want to donate it to those really need it, and I also need money to secure my kid's lives... Please answer me if anybody needs a kidney legally...

[@JH-qu8kj]

Can a 19-year-old donate a kidney, or would it be better to wait for some years? Not saying I will donate, but I have been considering it lately.

[@johanna111]

I am 17 and desperately want to donate my kidney or part of my liver, but can’t until I turn 18.

[@vvs1855]

Do you know what blood type you are ?

[@iamURHO]

He sounds like John Piper.

[@jeanemounce9526]

Sure wish I could get a kidney......I keep hoping.

[@kidneedonor8088]

Jeane, Here's my suggestion. Find someone to work on your behalf to advocate for you. If you ere near me I would do it. Have that person, or yourself, put a sign on the back of your car with an email to respond to. You will very quickly get dozens of of responses. They will need your name, birth date and hospital you're using. Know that 99% of respondents will wash out for one reason or another so treat every response as THE one. You will have to be willing to expose much personal information about yourself but that's the price you pay. I have personally seen this plan work but it took the person I know two times and two years to make it happen. The first time he had 300 responses from all over the US. All washed out. The second time he had about the same number and ONE person stuck with him and completed the transplant. If less than 1% of 1% of the total population of the US would respond there would be more than enough kidneys to go around. Most people simply don't know that they can live their life on one kidney just fine. I am a donor and my only restrictions are do not take excessive amounts of nsaid medicines and don't take up bullfighting. Good luck to you.

[@kabo0m]

I too. I am in Canada and have been on dialysis since April and it is now Oct. 2018. Good luck to both of us. I am trying on Facebook since my mom cannot donate. Wish I had the courage to record myself and put it on youtube. Also... watch out for scammers. Those are the ones saying they will sell you a kidney. Don't do it. But if there are people who genuinely wants to donate and does not ask for money then that is one that sounds trustworthy. Then you can talk about costs. I don't know how it is in the USA but I know in Canada their costs are now covered I believe. You don't want to put your private info out there but some you may. So try to be smart. Use a different email just for the responses from potential donors so that if that email gets onto spammer lists they won't have your work, school, etc emails. Don't put your address or birthday /year on the net. Tell any private info in private only (email, private message on social media but not public posts).

[@shahalasulthanapt4733]

which blood group

[@rajc7954]

Me and my friend ready to donate a kidney. I have A+, and my friend have AB+ Kidney. If you want this type kidney please reply me. We have passport thank you

[@kidneedonor8088]

Ned, I donated my kidney to a stranger 10 years ago. I think everyone who is considering donating first wants to know about how their health will be after donation. I assume people will see this as obvious. To that end we can find stats about living donors easily on line. Now here's my question. Have you ever been contacted by anyone doing a follow up study on living donors? I never have, and I could name several other donors who say the same.

[@nedbrooks1234]

There have been follow up studies that show that living donors live longer than the general public, but the big missing study is one that compares the life span of living donors with a cohort of people who are equally healthy, and see how that compares. Lot of talk about doing this but I am not aware if current studies on this.

[@kidneedonor8088]

@@nedbrooks1234 For what it's worth, I was a bone marrow donor 25 years ago. The Red Cross called me every other year for 20 years to see how I was doing. They had a laundry list of health related questions for me.

[@tjfy34c]

Ned Brooks: Great inspirational talk. I understand that O Blood type is comparable with most kidney patients in need. How does AB neg blood type fare between the need and the availability of Live Donors? Feel free to contact me by replying directly below my post here.

[@tammyfaintuch7851]

There are ALWAYS people in need... I was one of them, AB blood type, given the gift of life by an amazing living donor. There's more than just blood type for compatibility purposes, like antibodies, etc. I am sure someone out there would be a match for you if you decide to donate!

[@archerlady]

Surprisingly, pos/neg doesn't factor into it. Antibodies do. AB is the universal recipient, but nobody else can receive AB but an AB. AB is good because it is rare, and they'd rather give an AB person AB instead of one of the other blood types (save them for those with that blood type). Your post is from 2 years ago, I was wondering if this is something you considered or carried through with?

[@KyleBreeth]

my husband needs a kidney snd hes 23 years old.. blood type A+

[@gloriapringle3444]

My son is in need of a Kidney Devon 45 bright outgoing young man and l'm his mom l would give he my Kidney l also have Kidney Disease l had a dream that he got a kidney he started dialysis June 23rd 2022 still on dialysis November 2 , 2022 Nam-myoho-renge-kyo! I'm chanting for my son's happiness

[@sudarshandongare2771]

O+ve

[@josephjoseph3055]

Ready to sell for 200000$

[@nedbrooks1234]

.....which is a federal crime

[@joeshmoe7967]

@@nedbrooks1234 Shouldn't be. Especially in the USA

[@anirbanbiswas9445]

8670890628

@@joeshmoe7967 but many people can’t cough up 200,000 dollars.

[@shahinalom8584]

really i need to sale 1 kidney of me. for help my family. blood group o+ age 27

[@anirbanbiswas9445]

8670890628

[@shahinalom8584]

which country please. number give with code

[@albertoramirez5977]

Lunacy is what does it. What if your family needs it someday?

[@nedbrooks1234]

Brendan - there is a program with the National Kidney Registry called the Advance Donation Program. It allows a donor to specify an individual to receive a kidney from a live donor on a priority basis. One real example is where a grandfather donated his kidney to a stranger through the NKR, and designated his grandson for the ADP program. His grandson was a young boy with an inherited condition that will cause his kidneys to fail in coming years, and when that happens he will go to the top of the list for a living donor kidney.

[@marivicasperomano5098]

Brendan- you need to be educated. Lunacy is such a rude adjective to call a person doing a great impact on someone else's life.. Your amygdala is small I bet..

[@kabo0m]

I need a kidney but my mom got tested and was told she should keep hers because it is not high enough function to be able to donate one. If she keeps her "extra" she will be fine. So I have no donor.

[@kabo0m]

That is not nice Fox (were you the one called Brendan before?). That person was just expressing their concerns. They were not selfish. My own brother has fears and concerns as well. I am on dialysis and even I understand this.

[@nedbrooks1234]

I love this objection, it's very common and the National Kidney Registry addressed this issue in the best possible way with a new program: If you agree to donate your kidney to start a "kidney chain", you will receive up to five vouchers for healthy family members in the event that one of them needs a kidney in the future.

[@sudarshandongare2771]

I am Sudarshan Dongare from Akola Maharashtra I want to sell my one kidney for need money

[@ashleighchance9420]

Basically to make themselves feel better, not because they're kind. But hey, they'll be forgotten about so it's hilarious either way.

[@dansmith6572]

Your amygdalas are the size of a grain of sand. Which is hilarious.