Violence against women: the end begins with men | Patricia Shea | TEDxNashville

Patricia Shea addresses the issue of violence against women, drawing on her research and her frequent talks on women’s issues, including testifying at hearings on domestic violence and racial justice and her editorials that regularly appear in the Tennessean newspaper.
Raised in Wheeling, West Virginia and one of eight children, Patricia Shea always had a passion for justice and equality. So it’s no wonder she found herself leading the YWCA of Nashville & Middle Tennessee, whose mission is eliminating racism, empowering women and promoting peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all. That’s a pretty tall order, but in her nine years at the helm, Pat has helped shape conversation on the epidemic of domestic violence, expanded services to women and children, and ensured the financial stability of the 117-year old non-profit.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

[@Pakam3]

I just watched a bunch of the TED talks on similar topics, and this one is underrated, yet it's one of the best. Thank you, Patricia Shea.

[@SJO897]

because it puts the onus on us (men) and we can't face that.

[@SudarshanDee]

It absolutely is!

[@Vixinaful]

"Few bad guys"? This is extremely common and its killing women every damned day! I am one of the victms and almost lost my life! DO NOT underplay this!

[@Mahi-ni9kz]

7:30 Year 2020 Expectation: the safest city Reality: even leaving your house is dangerous

[@saradellabella8175]

I love this woman. She needs to speak to every police department and at intervention classes. This is an epidemic. I never thought it would happen to me and it did. It’s sick and should be criminal. They still make you the problem it’s not changing enough.

[@rosesai8053]

It shouldn't matter what gender you are, if you are being abused as a man it is WRONG If you are being abused as a women it is WRONG

[@emmae6184]

Supergirlfans she’s not saying it’s not wrong when men are abused she’s just pointing out a societal problem of violence against women she even acknowledged that it hurts men too

[@samanthaleon1886]

She presented an idea to end violence, what is yours?

@@samanthaleon1886 - Here's an idea: Admit that violence is learned in the home .... from mothers!! That' a FACT.

[@dmerlin777]

Rosesai THANK YOU! 🙏 Absolutely!

[@MichaelWill6138]

Completely against violence against women. But men who batter need help despite the heinousness of their crimes. We throw people away instead of treating them.

[@mthomas769]

That is actually my job. It's amazing with the right programs seeing the transition by battering men over a 16 week period.

[@osmosisjones4912]

Michael Williams we know how she would react to her being batted by Hiawatha wife or her being getting herased molested by a bunch of horny chicks. or was indebted all his money in alimony leaving him homeless or killed work .. she laugh with women and men do. to.men's only problem is erectile dysfunction not prostate cancer blood pressure or one of many things inflicted by women. it's a south park episode Kartman laughing at breast cancer so beat his ass though she going face high penalty if she did she's would lose more if she didn't . but still don't hit girls no one said anything about pepper spray :-)

[@angelaoftedahl8480]

Michael 11803 Will you please contact me.... I have a few questions for you if you don't mind. :)

[@wselenag45]

Yeah you can treat them, but the damage they caused on the women is already done.

[@SJO897]

well until we actually charge rapists then we can talk about this.

[@sofiajgrassetti9311]

Neighbors are the worst in this case. I've asked and yelled for help crying many times even in the night when my ex boyfriend was beating me up and I got 0 help. No one helps because of the concern to get involved in it. Make ensure to have A. a no-abuser man B a no-abuser man C Don't let make it happens twice C. if your neighbors don't help report them as well failure to assist. People with common sense should intervein anonymously these people freaks me out indeed along with their indifference. Sucks

[@SudarshanDee]

I am so sorry this happened to you and that you were so betrayed on so many levels. I was fortunate three weeks ago because my downtown nosey neighbours all called the police AND the security team in my apartment building. Plus they stood by to protect the security staff who pounded on my door and opened it. If I had been living in a house or a different type of neighbourhood in the suburbs I could have died.

[@user-zw6xf3wy7h]

🤷‍♂ima be minda ma own business

[@mharrod258]

Sad to see so many comments arguing what gender violence is 'important' or 'who is to blame' rather than acknowledging the many great men this lady is talking about. All of whom, every man could step up and become. Great Ted Talk.

[@WoodysOpinion101]

Violence is a human issue and not a gender issue

[@mimosa27]

​@Aj Wood 84 Thats true, but physical violence is overwhelmingly male.

[@leo-lh4oy]

Men dont owe women anything

Violence against women BEGINS with single mothers' violence against their sons. Until that is addressed everything else is irrelevant. Children are TAUGHT to be violent, and their teacher becomes their victim when they grow up.

[@damianbylightning6823]

I think you mean 'fraudulent talks' not frequent talks. Can someone please start a campaign to stop rain on bank holidays. The problem with setting impossible targets is that the windbags who promote the domestic violence industry, can always scream that we've not met their demands. The logical conclusion is that the state must do more, more laws and more control over people's lives.

[@jazminnew1529]

I don't want this for my children ❤️ or future generations..she's right. We can't do this alone.but we can do it together.. men and women

[@WoodysOpinion101]

This is a human issue not a gender issue

[@itzben87]

From a Man: To all the Men- "A man who raises hands at women is the weakest man".

A man who lets a woman beat him is not a man.

[@allen_p]

If she hits first all bets are off. I don't go start a fight with 6' 7" guy that is solid muscle. Far too many women believe they allowed to hit men.. Don't start anything you can't finish.

[@AB-ou8ve]

Allen Pape Amen

[@ukulkarni]

And even the weakest man has a right to defend himself.

[@leo-lh4oy]

Hope she sees this bro.

[@amiteshdas2989]

Neighbours and onlookers don't intervene because when they do, at least 7 out of 10 times, women turn around, save the abuser and frame the intervener.

[@sheldonbrown3261]

Considering one sided (non-reciprocal) domestic violence is women against men, domestic violence needs to end with women.

EXACTLY!!

[@deets773]

What a great topic that the world needs to know about! Thank you for being brave enough to talk about this topic.

[@MrROTD]

+deets773 Yeah because psychos wouldnt rape if they just knew it was wrong, oh wait they do know and dont give a fuck

[@theknowall2232]

+deets773 Rape definitions have trivialised rape, but the consequences for accused men are still serious. It is very often the revenge tactic for upset women, or a woman fraudulently seeking sympathy. See the video, *RAPE HYSTERIA - Part 1 | History Repeats Itself*

[@WoodysOpinion101]

Violence is a human issue not a gender issue

[@kdlofty]

So what do you do if two women are married and one assaults the other? Domestic violence starts and ends with BOTH men AND women.

[@annalisavajda252]

I think it has to do with cultural acceptance in general and some abusers have female enablers too. Depends how they were raised someone like me allowed to shout at my brother's and argue with them but not assaulted by them won't tolerate a boy that wasn't raised to be non violent with girls thinks assault is just "playing" with girls etc. Some domestic abuse victims victim blame other survivors too though female battered women's shelters can be awful places not really healing environments in my experience because everyone is traumatized there. Police dismiss concerns don't enforce protection orders what's acceptable gets redefined and violence is allowed to escalate you maybe only get hit once every few months at first but gradually that becomes a bi weekly thing then maybe daily because tolerance builds up to the problem and if you refuse to tolerate it even occasionally someone else may think your boundaries too strict.

[@kittykatross3896]

My daughter asked me "What did you DO to cause THIS?

[@sedefashley2021]

This is one of those Ted talks that did not get the views it deserved.

[@the_man_of_science]

When men are abused by women in a relationship, I'd like to hear something other than "as a wise man you should walk away", "men should walk away or if necessary only use as much force as the abuser", "women are weaker", "walk away and don't come back". Frankly speaking, a woman uses physical abuse against men only and only because she knows she can get away with it and even fighting back would be consequential only for the man. To the gallows she goes

[@yasminekhalida2536]

Very jolly lady.

[@kittykatross3896]

I had mzzy FACE beat in by a"GUY" who thought he was caring, and KNEW it was gonna be OKAY.. I had 13 hours of Reconstructive Surgery because my Boyfriend LOVED me so much??

[@Nicky_LarSwana]

and what about women's violence against men? you really need to read

[@frecklefingers]

If Patricia Shea is really concerned with children, she would acknowledge that abusive mothers are as common as abusive fathers. For some reason, it's difficult for feminists to acknowledge abusive behavior by women.

Wayyy MORE abusive according to DOJ Bureau of Justice Statistics. OVER 60% of child abuse in the home is by mothers!!! ONLY 2% by bio-fathers, rest is by step-fathers and mom's boyfriends.

[@SudarshanDee]

Shut up.

[@joydot7620]

having listened to this i am taken aback by the comments - a number of men watched it but many seem to have heard something very diff. wierd

Because it's anti-male propaganda.

[@kittykatross3896]

wORLDLY we have a LOT to DO!!!

[@mr.jakirhosenronnyronny4705]

Thanks a lot

[@kittykatross3896]

Violence begats violence, and I'm sorry, but we as a society cannot change unless the prisons are filled with them. Be it woman, man, or what have yolu

[@mthomas769]

For the men commenting, let me share some information with you. 70% of homicides in domestic violence relationships happen shortly after she leaves and he no longer can control her at home. We lose 3 women a day to domestic violence. Men use violence for much different reasons than women. We are shamed when using the N word or R word but don't get shamed for calling a woman a bitch. The amount of violence perpetrated by men towards women far exceeds the vice versa. This isn't feminist garbage but rather reality for thousands of women every day. Men do not fear women at the same rate women fear men. It is our responsibility to stop this violence. Traditionally, we are the heads of households and predominantly the religious and business leaders. 45 male presidents and 0 female. To say otherwise means to keep your head in the sand.

[@osmosisjones4912]

Michael 11803 how react if came home your brother was cut up by his wife or a horny chick at college came jumped to him grabbing and kissing after he said no getting him in trouble wife or girl friend and kicks him in the balls. not hypothetical actually so coming in plane sight comity . and remember a south park episode Kartam was making fun of breast cancer so Wendy beat his ass as so though she was going to face harsh punishment something women rarely get justice is something you don't want equal pay on .but she shut his mouth anyway because it was worth it she lose more if she didn't same for men you lose more if don't even you cut them from your life they'll come after you men only is sexist .stopping and stop insulting man's best friend to you horrible Creatures a

[@letmebefrank5080]

Michael 11803 You make an issue that 2/3 of tragic DV deaths are women victims. That may be true but you still have succumbed to classic *femin* *ist* *propa* *ganda* (without the gaps these words block the comment from appearing). You must look at other numbers to put that into perspective. Using USA statistics, according to OSHA data, in 2013, 88 men died tragically in workplace accidents per week (women are statistically insignificant), according to Wiki 13.5 men and 31.5 women died per week through IPV (or DV), according to WISQARS 54 women and 184 men died per week by suicide. Then consider that there are over 100,000 deaths from cancer each week.

Thanks to feminists lobbying, the FBI now classifies the contracting of killing of husbands by their wives as "multiple offender homicides" instead of DV homicides. Further, murders by women who kill by poisoning are not treated as DV homicides. Your stats are tragically flawed.

You're WRONG. Violence against men and boys perpetrated by women is not accounted for in any statistics you can find. Mothers teach their sons to be violent. FACT!

[@nanochad2979]

40% of dv victims are men

[@fatimabostan5314]

thank you

[@kittykatross3896]

He committed suicide because he KNEW he would go to jail. He was only 34 years of age.

[@tondun]

According to the Center for Disease Control, domestic violence rates between the genders are practically equal. If men reported domestic violence more, everyone would know that women are more likely to initiate domestic violence.

[@mahekparvez5952]

Brilliant

[@smellyface101]

*Warning* if you are an overly sensitive male, this video may be triggering.

[@osmosisjones4912]

erectile dysfunction could be sign as prostate cancer. their could be many causes of prostate cancer. over use past limits kick in. The balls testicular injuries is prostate cancer effects mostly men. and it's even more common then breast cancer..

[@swimdownx6365]

Osmosis Jones and I like to take inspiration from a south park episode Wendy was talking about breast cancer Karmen was making jokes about it Wendy was gonna Beat him up but Karmen told the teacher and Wendy was gonna get in big trouble . but principle a breast cancer survivor told her what consequences take em cancer isn't gonna play by the rules neither can you do what you can beat the Sh#t out of that fat lump. on stage now saying mens only problem is erectile dysfunction witch could be sign prostate CANCER. like Wendy I you'l lose more if you don't beat abuse the sh#t out of that fat lump.

[@rebeccastanhope3989]

What about the church?

[@supertatertot97]

This is a beautiful video with a beautiful message. I don't understand why those of you men who are commenting are being so negative, so derogatory towards the main point of the video. You are perpetuating the cycle of violence against women. We have been trying for years and nothing is happening. Men don't listen to women, men listen to men. Men will listen to a challenge set forth by men. This is what our screwed up world needs to be hearing. Men don't just need o leave their "baby mommas" because they don't want to be responsible for the baby, they need to change. They need to be a role model that baby should see. But, men won't listen to me because I am a woman. So you men, take this talk to heart and put it upon yourselves to make a difference. On another not, this video wasn't about violence against men. If you want to see a video about that topic, find one.

[@edwardmichaels6429]

It's part of a one sided broader lie based feminist narrative.

[@osmosisjones4912]

Alyssa Davis so if shouldn't leave our baby momma should we tell you not kill them. or is it only women have productive rights that's why no one listening to you

[@user-dj9ik9nf5d]

Alyssa Davis Check gynocentrism Man and women support women and nobody supports mana issue

[@samanthaleon1886]

@@MrROTD Whats your point then, what is the way to prevent violence for the next generation?

[@PsychicsRfake456]

Alyssa Davis, so you wonder why men have a negative view of this video and then go on to paint men with a broad brush in a negative light

[@poppingcats1]

13:23 Why violence against women is so tolerated?????? what???? I don't know what world you're living in lady, but the only violence that tolerated is violence against men. It's engrained in the minds of every man that women > men. If a woman is in trouble, if a woman is in need of help, you as a man need to drop everything you're doing and help her. I saw a girl hitting a man, I don't know their relationship but she as WAILING on him, he had enough and shoved her hard away from him. This caused the once passive onlookers to engage and beat him, badly. It was perfectly fine that she was hitting him as hard as she could, actively trying to harm him, but the second he defends himself not by striking but by pushing her away, he's beat up. This thought that violence against women is laughable, and shows how crazy you must be to believe it. What happens when there's a hostage situation? What happens in the event of an emergency such as a fire? "women and children first". As men we're expected to bend over backwards for women, ANY women. Hold their bags, hold the door open, allow them to go first, help them carry things in; it's clear in our society women are a protected class, who, in virtue of their gender, get many things handed to them and help at any turn; as a man you're just supposed to man up.

It is violence against MEN that is tolerated. This woman would make Paul Joseph Goebbels proud.

[@solangeboudreau6467]

Awesome Ted Talk. The fragile masculinity in the comment section shows us all how these talks are desperately needed.

Nice ... typical male-bashing comment from a feminazi.

[@nanochad2979]

can we stop pretending only 1 gender abuses the other?

[@cheaze69]

The fragile femininity here shows us why men hit women.

[@leo-lh4oy]

Men dont owe women anything, if a woman is being assaulted only her son should save her, no one else is obliged to

[@leelee6000]

I'm good man I never hurt lady's xxxxx

[@bradrichards8122]

This lady is looking through a straw.

[@allen_p]

The beginning starts with women. Take responsibility for your safety Drunk at parties, leaving a bar with a man/men not knowing their name and your friend doesn't know where you're going, ....... Women get so many free passes to not be responsible.

[@mharrod258]

Victim blaming at its finest.

[@alwdance]

a woman in the UK recently did everything possible in her power to make sure she was safe on a walk home yet still ended up murdered. so your suggestion is that women just stay home/take an extreme amount of precautions while men are free to live their lives however they please?

[@CarterWills1]

@@mharrod258 the victim in every crime could have always done something to avoid that crime. It isn’t victim blaming, it is giving very good advice.

[@leo-lh4oy]

A man doesnt need to do anything for a woman

[@aspenivy3268]

Wrong. Even in the case of emotionally unstable person who'd can't control his or her anger. They might show some discretion. They know not to take something out on their boss are their favorite materials. It's almost a different talk to give you find someone that will literally break that car, and get in a fight with every single person. some people, the men in this case are just that narcissistic and they're going on this very basic primal fact of brute Force to enforce their will that's it. They do not care about the point of view or the will of the victim. It is a form of violence and objectification again to try to make it about men. it's about teaching women to protect themselves, and hoping that you would not treat them like nothing but instead value their experience and potential

[@tompalmer5986]

I agree that violence against women is the number one human rights issue in the U.S. But there are blurred lines. How about this: One time this guy and I were laying on a bed with a woman. She was very drunk, and she decided she wanted to take us both on. We didn't respond to her advances, and she started yelling "Why not!?" We still didn't oblige her, and it hurt her feelings very badly. Sometimes yes doesn't mean yes. She was too drunk to give consent.

[@LucyInk121]

You've answered your own question. She was drunk.

[@tompalmer5986]

It hurt her feelings pretty badly when we didn't oblige her.

[@creepyscope7824]

@@tompalmer5986 your miss bud! Yall should f her then you both disappear!

[@ewereoyeze5424]

I agree to this until it got to objectification, women and the media objectify women. Women should be taught to respect men.

[@leo-lh4oy]

They only respect money and violence

[@beruriernoir1313]

Feminism,a momevent to defend womens rights,at the cost of mens rights

[@emmae6184]

nico pro what did say that was against men. Antifeminists love to reach for things that aren’t there.

[@alwdance]

ah yes, I’d love to hear the rights men are losing in the name of feminism

[@nanochad2979]

@@alwdance maybe that she didn't say that men are almost equally as likely to be abused? are 2 times more likely to be assualted and 3.5 times more murdered?