Why Social Media Is Ruining Your Life | Katherine Ormerod | TEDxManchester

Social media have changed the way we consume news, products and, most importantly, each other. However, they are also shaping our expectations of reality, undermining our esteem and fuelling obsessive social comparison. So, what can we do to make us mindful of the negative impacts of new media and begin benefiting from the very best our interconnected world has to offer?
One fashion journalist turned influencer charts her journey into the world of social media fantasy-and why she now wants to burst the bubble.
Whether you be young or old, single or a parent, many of us today are concerned about the impact of social media on our lives and communities. Katherine Ormerod is the author of the Amazon bestseller, Why Social Media is Ruining Your Life’. Written in 2018, she addresses her experiences working in new media and the problematic implications of social media. In her research she speaks with psychologists, plastic surgeons, global influencers and others to get a meta-level view on the scope of the problem and what we might be able to do about it. Katherine brings a wealth of reporting experience with staff roles at Sunday Times Style, Grazia and Glamour, specialising in fashion and social media culture. She’s also written for the FT, The Telegraph, Harper’s Bazaar and The Mail on Sunday.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@UpperGroundNGU]

I deleted social media several years ago because I saw the potential dangers. Turns out I was right.

[@ThirdCoastNative]

Yet here you are on social media👀 (jokes) I personally think if we as a society went back to Early-Mid 2000’s technology use we’d be just fine. It was perfectly balanced.

[@hazelps5990]

I deleted instagram months ago and would never go back, I’m surprised how much I don’t miss it and how much more productive I am

[@ayahhussam4403]

me tooo!!! am sooo relived now more comfortable

[@mrkrowl]

Please guys , checkout my channel Subscribe & Like Learn everything with J New You Tube Channel ❤️😇

[@delta_cosmic]

how about your youtube?

[@deancorrington3894]

I never understood, or had the desire to go on any social media site and air my life for all to see. I keep my business, MY business.

[@sbobo4437]

Exactly! I tell people to live like it's 1983😁

[@jakecox7140]

Your on it right now

[@acanarynamedrobyn4543]

@@sbobo4437 I’m aiming for 1975 😂

[@stevenmeadows6917]

@@jakecox7140 Not on Facebook....KZbin isnt social media

[@jakecox7140]

@@stevenmeadows6917 KZbin is literally America’s biggest form of social media

[@jordanm5555]

Social Media is toxic. Today I deleted my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

[@nitrojanks2977]

Great news! Life is better without it

[@wolfgang7812]

It's toxic because toxic prople have made it that way.

[@boxelder9167]

@@wolfgang7812 - I hate to brag but I am one of the toxic people that makes people want to leave social media. You’re welcome.

[@natehorne1763]

The entertainment side of social media nearly ruined my life.

[@feliciapattinson9591]

Mine too

[@MCee97]

Would you guys mind going into detail how?

[@marialagattuta5438]

Lol KZbin...

[@arivanchitra]

@@feliciapattinson9591 jssj

[@arivanchitra]

@@feliciapattinson9591 rrfr

[@kevindavis4709]

As a 36-year-old guy I must say I'm come too the conclusion. Why do I want to allow people to look in my photos when they do not care to interact with me on a regular day-to-day basis? Because all I'm doing is giving people permission they don't care to contact me permission to look at my pictures that's all I'm doing.

[@alinaserghei2530]

You are so right 💯

[@bettsmart3767]

Don't compare your behind the scene with other people's highlight reel.

[@lavishlyenigmatic]

Quite ironically social media is what makes you famous and elevate you to a position you could use to influence other opinions .

[@jasonboenig]

I graduated from Parsons and worked the fashion industry/magazines in manhattan for a couple of years. By 23 I realized I hated everything about it and I would rather throw my BFA in the toilet then live a empty and shallow existence. Welcome to the machine.

[@edwardseverinsen5598]

Her: Be an Instagram fashion influencer, hop on meta _social media is bad_ train. Continue to be a social media influencer. Profit.

[@vatsalsaxena8813]

Yes, you are right. It is interesting to note how she is writing a book (which will sell well because hey, the subject created a storm in the media) against the very thing that pays her bills (primary source of income).

[@Nueyoga668]

She chasing da bag😎

[@Tranair]

Living in a society doesn't mean you lose the right to critique it. Getting something good out of social media doesn't mean it isn't designed to exploit your brain circuitry for profit. I understand the irony, I just think people who are influencers should speak about it because there is a better chance of those people being believed than someone else.

[@patiencel9718]

I've just had a look on the speaker's Instagram page. Its content doesn't really back up what she says in her TED speech. What we can see is glamour, fashion and obsession with self-image. The book is promoted using all the required (but highly criticised) codes of the social media world.

[@lotfibouhedjeur9897]

I appreciate her shedding light on this issue but at the same time I can see how this can be a scheme to garner sympathy and interest and attract more followers. Maybe what's wrong is not only sharing that flimsy veneer of glamour without the dark side, maybe the real problem is simply sharing too much of a life that used to be private. I don't understand why a complete stranger would show me they've been to Mexico and rub their designer bikini in my face nor do I understand why they would tell me they were dumped in a luxury hotel room. The more of your private life you expose the more “exposed” you'll feel.

[@jesahiasjosephrodriguez3740]

you completely missed the point, or were not listening.

[@mulunehrizzo1720]

it's like saying, I'm a smoker but I'm aware that is bad for my health. I was one of those people that used Instagram 1 day a week or less and I never thought it would affect me but when I decide to delete my account I felt empty and depressed and I didn't know what to do after a month or so I was happier. Lots of people say that they don't have that obsessive need to use social media but just by talking to them you will notice that they have low self esteeme and are lost but try to hide it

[@benbreak3612]

I deleted my instagram, Facebook but, I spent most of my time watching KZbin 😊💔

[@unknowngirl5147]

😊same

[@aguilacec]

Same here!! I understand you totally

[@ramcelretubis6324]

That's fine.

[@sagalabdullahi6235]

Same here😁

[@yasminbeatricebahaoui4697]

same. Thankfully this is not social media.

[@metallibasscovers]

I never downloaded any social media app like Instagram Snapchat or tick tok It could cause depression toxic behavior and online bullying.

[@allenm9]

This video has changed my insights on social media. Thank you for this.

[@Nueyoga668]

Pls watch the Netflix documentary called “the social dilemma”

[@lizmuller9883]

Just finished the audiobook and really enjoyed it. Love the idea of more mindful social media consumption. Thank you Katherine :))

[@bibbybop3825]

Everyone keeps repeating the same issue - how pretty pictures make us feel bad. Pretty pictures were in magazines before we had social media. I don't feel this is a new issue, I put my best happy face on in most social situations, so I don't really think its at the heart of what is wrong with social media. For me it feels like people keep thinking the answer is changing how we use it - share more that is real, show more that is real, be real with people to connect more.. but none of it is real. Its not real in the sense that its edited and curated and because its happening to people you don't know and will never meet. But its also not real in that you don't think, behave, or react to it like its real. You are investing in a fantasy and that's its entire appeal. The folk putting up stuff about how 'if you're depressed you can talk to me, im here' can't even be bothered to put it in their own words, they just copy and paste or post a meme. Imagine if someone actually went to them for real help? I can have a three line conversation with a friend that takes a week because its not real time. In real time, we can discuss everything we talk about in our entire whatsapp history in one night over a few drinks. Yet people think online activism is the way to 'have the important conversations'... No one is actually trying to change the world, they're trying to change their follower count. And the thing is once it's changed what does that actually mean? The way that's it is most 'not real' is that it is completely disconnected from any sense of purpose. You get friends online but you don't have more friends. You get more popular on line but you're not popular. When we used to care about our appearances, our clothes, our social status it was directly related to improving our actual appearance, to attract friends, dates, job interviews.. now we're literally doing all this work for the sake of ... what? the frightening part is the part that is real. That's the part we haven't even begun to measure. We were all so busy playing make believe. We could troll, invent, embellish, no need to watch your words, pick your fights.. but everything has a consequence. That unreal life is bleeding out into the real one we just don't know how yet..

[@iamyoda1980]

Very well said!!!

[@lovleen00]

Omg! This is even better than the TED talk itself! I have deleted my social media months ago, and today realised that it gave me time to communicate with real people.

[@justletmesigninokthx]

Why social media ruined her life, and it didn't even ruin it, it made her.

[@seirrakearns5765]

true

[@hemiacetal1331]

Social media sucked some amount of our good life which went to her and many more influencers.

[@samanthaspears6876]

It is amazing what people will do to be social media 'influencers'

[@KeepItFresh02]

i can't stand that term

[@MCee97]

Do people really want to be them that badly?

[@marcodaniel5446]

Miles Chan oh they do, i live in an Amazon Rainforest city at Brazil and selfdeclared “influencers” is something you can easily find absolutely everywhere around local social media as they believe they're at the top of a non-existent hierarchy. It's a really sad situation seeing people putting themselves in that position.

[@marcodaniel5446]

@Nasir W i agree with you now, my heart was filled with rage back then

[@MrDatta10]

Social media doesn't encourage real communication and engagement. To me that is more important than just gossip and get many likes for a post.

[@doha3807]

I used to think of myself as a boring person and i hated my life because of social media. Well i still do, but now im trying to get my self out of those mazy thoughts.

[@warheart8899]

same

[@teganflyman5352]

Even by being honest on social media it’s still an attention competition which breeds the same problems: envy and disconnection. Thanks for being honest here though.

[@jazmere777]

I think people need to check their insecurities and start loving themselves and appreciating what they do have as opposed to blaming it on something external, like social media. When I was growing up, it was the same thing. Everyone compared themselves to the models in magazines, TV, and billboards. Along with that came bulimia and anorexia and many more illnesses that feeds of insecurities. There is no difference now except at a much faster rate. We need to look inward and make the change there not outward.

[@jamesonwoes7135]

Jazmin Rodriguez It’s like algebra. What you do to one side you MUST do to the other side.

[@remotefaith]

If you think there is no difference then you just don’t understand it, it’s as simple as that.

[@jazmere777]

RemoteFaith 1995 I understood it very well. Maybe you didn’t understand my point because you possibly didn’t realize that this had been happening for decades. I’m not disagreeing with her point either, I am just reiterating that’s it is the same issue but different rate and different platform.

[@willieamerson9519]

Facts

[@paladindragoongirl18]

The problem here is that social media has been misused. Social media is a tool, after all. It CAN be used for good, but a lot of times, people use it to post selfies and only post snippets of their lives. There IS a correlation between social media and insecurities, but I wouldn't blame everything on social media. People are not used to this type of technology. Remember MySpace? It caused a lot of drama in my teens and I made a big deal out of nothing. It turned me into a petty person because I didn't get what I thought I wanted (to be in someone's Top 8 feature, to have more likes on my post).

[@arnoldschafernaker512]

Social media makes you anti-social irl. How ironical.

[@MrDaggs1]

She posted the link to this video on Twitter

[@faginnyc]

YES!!!! I feel this so much!

[@babybaby5893]

Worth watching this video three times. Especially the end of her speech. Love it, So real.

[@Merryyy203]

I was soooooooooo addicted to social media... Myspace was my vortex. I remember how much time I spent there changing the layout, the colours... Then came Fb, how much time I spent there... I had to update my status constantly. Then came Instagram. I have deleted my Fb account but created one just to join groups in case I need to ask questions. Barely check it. Instagram helped me with my mental health when I stopped following people who served no purpose in my life and started following psychologists. I decided to deactivate the account for a month and it turned into 6. Last week I did it again after probably a month or so. Those of you who still use it: if you are on your computer go have a look at the add on "News Feed Erradicator".

[@joeshmoe8952]

I have older relatives who are in their late 50's and they are obsessed with social media. I tried to explain to them the negativity of social media and how there's videos on KZbin explaining why it's negative and they laugh at me. They think social media is harmless and nothing is wrong with spending hours on it. I guess at 40 I'm a last of a dying breed.

[@2GuysBuildaBiz]

Solid content, nice work!

[@lionelkashila663]

This made me think different about social media

[@Ampung21]

okay at the end she is still using social media...basically now it's not the fantasy but personal life with millions.

[@gurdeeprahod1884]

Very nice I had to do an Ted talk assignment on this

[@jnvable]

So good 👏

[@lanierosemangoda1792]

It's how you used it.. If you used it for validation from others.. Acceptance.. Approval and to fit in.. Its bad for you! But if you used it to learn more about people by being observant then it will be goo.. Things will posible if you know how to control your emotions..

[@romeovelasco4151]

Its not what social media can do to us but its what we do with social media. Social media is neutral, it can be used good or bad. We are not what we think, rather, we are what we do with what we think. Good things can be corrupted and bad things can be corrected. SOCIAL is good, its the MEDIA that is bad. Social media favors the market more than man...

[@nitrojanks2977]

Best thing I ever did was delete fb!

[@nupurmukherjee3258]

This talk needs a lot more views.

[@linuxboy007]

Thank you for this enlightenment

[@williamramos3350]

After 20yrs. I deleted Fakebook because it is true that one only sees the illusions of an awesome lifestyle. Trying to keep up with it caused me severe mental trauma. Currently use two other platforms. Only use them to post my completed digital art. KZbin has been a great educational tool.

[@Ktalks100]

If you go to a playground and you get hurt by a ride in that playground, you have the right to sue the owner for that hurt. Social media is for all intents and purposes a modern day playground and the profiting owners of that playground definitely need to be held accountable for all harm caused from now on and in the past.

[@breakingmad2645]

The bad part of social media for me was looking at my friends and other people have better lives socially. They make plans with each other and I’m just there alone in my room because I have no interests or sports to try.

[@ohmy9479]

I’d much rather have your lifestyle…atleast it’s genuine.

[@christajohnson9817]

When you don’t air out personal business but folks get offended and always think something is about them that’s the number one downfall of social media but once you start getting followed around 24/7 without consent that’s when all your business gets aired out think about it

[@opham7388]

I love social medias because They are really my excellent teachers.

[@adamibra3515]

I know I'm very humble and always I'm doing is just right things but social media is kicked me out like I ain't socially

[@ericcheltenham7001]

I keep social media but only for the sake of texting. Anything else is a waste if your life and mental health

[@laibaqamar7973]

AMAZING TALK!

[@09070605uty]

The speech of the millennia! I so needed to hear this!

[@lambolim2178]

I instantly close this video after seeing comment saying she is still on social media, bye

[@sechellemarie]

♥️♥️♥️

[@Evil_pinata]

Feel like the first several minutes were irrelevant.

[@vatsalsaxena8813]

I fully agree with you. They had nothing to do with the rest of the Ted Talk or the larger message that she wanted to put across.

[@missrelaxed3872]

Sometimes social media makes people’s lives rather than ruining it. It totally depends on how you see social media

[@ColHogan-bu2xq]

Truth does not depend on how you see it.

[@naduarteedwards]

I just deleted my Facebook

[@FutureLegend100]

Same

[@FutureLegend100]

@Erik Richey well been about 1 month since I deleted let me tell you. You won't even think about it soon. More time to use wisely my friend

[@FutureLegend100]

@Erik Richey glad to hear that mate , use that energy into worthy benefits

[@alex-wv9or]

deleted facebook a couple years ago and instagram a year ago. social media is really a lie.

[@ali_haidar_313]

@Erik Richey Good To Hear That , I've deleted all social media account about 2 months, and I started to live my real life again , I've learned programming languages , reading books , watching movies and enjoy more time with my parents and friends.

[@madannikalje760]

Just deleted instagram, Facebook, whatsapp yesterday and hoping for best ✨✨

[@seirrakearns5765]

she talks about how it ruins lives but yet she has it

[@ninjapirate123]

are you feeling better

[@mrkimmo1414]

As if this only has 71k views, says a lot. Talks like this need to be seen by everyone old and young. Stay off social media 👍

[@kadecooke9963]

Here in the future it hasnt stopped and its getting worse. Snapchat, instagram, twitter, youtube, facebook, tik tok, ect.....

[@Tigerspencerstrawberry]

Delete your instagram account and trust you'll make the same money, if not more.

[@mercy5628]

How?

[@Tigerspencerstrawberry]

@@mercy5628 Trust

[@kevinlayne8129]

Great talk. I wondered if there was an audience, they're so lifeless. Probably on their phones! lol

[@charleshurstreinvention3959]

It used to be comparing with the Jones consisted of looking down the street. And you shouldn't do that either. Your path is your path. But now people spend literally hours on the social media sites. Two points: First, you still shouldn't be comparing yourself. For instance, I never opened a physical therapy clinic because, yes, I could have doubled my income but I also would have doubled my hours and would have never been able to take four to six months off traveling the world. And I don't envy the ones who did open a clinic with double my salary. And maybe they didn't want to take six months off and travel the world--to each their own. Second--many of these profiles you peruse through are an illusion. People trying to portray fame and social recognition. For example many of us "influencers" are just regular people, some of us, just trying to help other people. And if I did go big I'd still just be a regular person who would still periodically contract in physical therapy. That's my path--maybe not yours. Point being, not only are there problems with dopamine drop on constantly flipping through social media which leads to anxiety levels raising but it is psychologically destructive. Use the net like this channel to inspire yourself, not compare yourself. Hope this helps someone out there---Charles

[@cameronramoly3209]

I hope humans evolve past this SM faze…fast. I just don’t think it’s cool anymore. Why do I care if all these “acquaintances” know how fabulous or not I am. I definitely have less insecurities now, after deleting SM…I don’t miss it, but it’s funny how isolated I also feel…but in a good way

[@glendahood4248]

If you are about to make a business especially online business...just open the social media ( facebook )account and please chose PAGE...not the Personal account....that's all....

[@ArtandKitchen_]

gabby Petito is the perfect example

[@ninjapirate123]

whats she got to do with social media

[@aafaqahmad4536]

It's also a blind truth

[@wanderfonseca4651]

Can you put a portuguese subtiles?

[@annesway5380]

So funny. Ted ex is anti social media, but they want us to follow them on social media🤣🤣🤣

[@chitrakarcosmo]

😂😂true

[@jasonpickersgill2131]

But it pays your mortgage??

[@georgemopo3761]

while his is on instagram

[@ColHogan-bu2xq]

Interesting London accent.

[@aydenroperti1244]

I am not afraid to admit this, but I am a KZbin addict

[@mercy5628]

You are not alone

[@ninjapirate123]

same

[@rsdoyle]

So she found the next niche for her influencer career. Using social media to show that she is the champion of not being addicted to social media. SOS.

[@sarahschroeder4739]

pictures may be 1,000 words, but they don't show everything

[@jared4268]

she's legit on instagram

[@morugofuzuoku2369]

Never grew up with it saw it as useless but now I can tell.

[@ninjapirate123]

The women is so beautiful

[@nflippo6201]

The why is narcissism.

[@boxelder9167]

I should start a FakeBook account so I can post this for my friends.

[@kevindavis4709]

Even posting videos on KZbin can pay your bills no actual hard labor required

[@learn1718]

Social media made her a good living, she is mentioning bad experiences that happened to everyone...

[@Deryasvoice]

Why is she talking about how social media ruins people's lives but then proceeds to still post literally everything on instagram lmao. At least stick to your ideologies. (Coming from someone that stopped using instagram)

[@thisisbob1001]

I spend all day watching youtube 😛

[@likithgowda1996]

Here is your daily dopamine.

[@diondee4890]

500th video like

[@lavishlyenigmatic]

You hubby did a right thing leaving you .He must be a intelligent man .

[@alex-wv9or]

I bet he’s much happier too. She seems very artificial.

[@federikus2928]

The old spit in your plate rant, she’s still profiting from social network and Instagram, I guess she’s using ted-ed for advertising purpose?

[@loni8355]

Pppppp

[@begadshoier2556]

first lol

[@assmeanything2425]

Begad Shoier lol

maybe 0.01 % of World Population know about this threat,. but 99,99% will hold on to this Delusion of Satan.

[@amberv4223]

Hmmmm, yeah I take your point but surely you should just quit. All this posting pics with the bad stuff etc also seems equally to be gaining attention in a twisted way and still profiting from the very thing you are saying is bad..

[@iwillgetaoneclick6652]

The succinct shorts ophthalmoscopically hover because hydrant cytomorphologically contain onto a necessary comma. awesome, anxious cylinder

[@rayons48]

Okey boomer.

[@jerrycannon6940]

Lot idolatry going on on fb.

[@judytat5621]

So much talking about fashion while wearing a terrible dress >_

[@Foxie635]

My god, yawn

[@olsfrancis]

enjoy wasting your life looking at a phone

[@davidfortier6976]

She isn't pointing out anything Earth shattering. It's nothing that I didn't already know. The tragedy is the number of people who can't figure that out for themselves.

[@alex-wv9or]

David Fortier She pointed out the obvious and then said she still uses it for her fashion career. Just a way for her to get more attention/following/money.

[@taegenudy9750]

5 minutes just talking about herself? Okay

[@mordysalem1498]

Awwwww your husband left you?? What a shocker! He’s a smart man

[@rafaelcortez6314]

Mordy Salem your parents are split up . You have no room to talk .

[@OzyMandias13]

Comment posted. Ruination confirmed.