Ten Terrible Player Habits in D&D Games

MONSTERS OF DRAKKENHEIM is 300+ pages of eldritch horror inspired monsters for 5e by the Dungeon Dudes! Coming to Kickstarter March 26th, 2024: www.kickstarter.com/projects/... Time to look at the players in D&D and discuss many of the problems and mistakes we can make at the table.
TIME STAMPS
00:00 - Intro
02:27 - Metagaming
10:11 - Cheating
14:34 - Not Playing Collaboratively
19:45 - Refusing to buy-in to the Campaign
26:15 - Stealing the Spotlight
33:44 - Not Respecting Boundaries
40:44 - Arguing with the Dungeon Master
45:16 - Being Unprepared
49:08 - Lack of Engagement
53:54 - Unrealistic Expectations
1:00:28 - Final Thoughts
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[@eyedoc8567]

Kelly, I was sad to see on Instagram that you lost your Mom. I've been down that road. Hang in there and try to remember the good days and not the last ones. Time will help.

[@cconnorss]

You could’ve taken time brother, we who love you and can understand some things take serious time. I’m sorry for your loss brother. Thank you for everything.

[@1970joedub]

I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my mother 12 years ago. It’s OK to not be OK right now, and there is no time limit for the grieving process. Your mother’s legacy will live on in you.

[@spacecocaine1823]

Agreed. Lost my mother without warning 2 years ago, and when it first happened I was broken. Luckily, with the help of friends, family, and a bit of hobbying, I was able to pull through in the end. Here’s hoping Kelly can make it through this trial of his, too.

[@dexlin119]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Hang in there.

[@dizzykincade7831]

Kelly, my condolences. I’m sure your mom loved you deeply.

[@HorizonOfHope]

Another bad behaviour: refusing to lose. The player who tries something - usually takes a while to explain - but after a roll or two it fails and they say, “Actually then I won’t do that. My character would know it wouldn’t have worked. Instead, I will…” Takes up so much time and also isn’t fun since they have no tolerance for loss.

[@shmoga]

wouldnt rolling a dice indicate an action took place? i feel like rolling dice means your swinging your sword or blasting a spell. you cant redo a missed swing so why allow the PC to reroll a different scenario? idk i dont play DnD im just a poser.

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

​@shmoga it does, that's the issue.

[@HorizonOfHope]

@@shmoga Sure, but such players are experts at phrasing things in a way where they get as much as they can for free, so to speak. “If I walk over there… and if I then did this, because of this… would I then?” And, of course, that means they have basically implied doing a lot already and if it doesn’t work they dismiss the entire thing as just hypothetical and argue they didn’t really do it.

[@masonfarrow8655]

My rule: As soon you ask to make a roll, or succeed at a cost, you commit to its result.

[@shmoga]

@@HorizonOfHope i guess dont follow how you allow that to happen. are they discussing how to play the game, or are they just pretending to play the game? cant you just say "good thoughts, what are you going to do?"

[@soldierbreed]

Loved that "in a world where vampires don't exist" analogy

[@jpjfrey5673]

While in concept it makes sense, if you think about it for more than 1 second, it stops. We know about weaknesses of vampires due to how easily accessible media is in our day and age. Internet, movies, TV, books (for those that still read them) and word of mouth in a time when going outside of city boundaries doesn't carry the danger of being attacked by monsters. In the world of D&D, which is typically medieval, the only media accessible to an average person is word of mouth, with books being reserved for higher echelons of society and plays being a paid commodity, in addition to word of mouth being very easily removed by the fact that every time you leave your town/village, you might not survive. So no, a lot of people *wouldn't* know how to stop Regeneration of certain monsters because the way information travels is NOT quick or reliable in D&D settings

[@MsKeylas]

@@jpjfrey5673 bzzzzz wrong

[@jpjfrey5673]

@@MsKeylas just like your opinion, with zero arguments behind it. Next

[@soldierbreed]

@@jpjfrey5673 thats not accurate. i would argue that we knew about vampire weakness long before modern media. There are literally real life examples of villages staking corpse cause they thought people were coming back as vampires because of how decomposition works. (I.e. bloating and red fluids leaking from nose and mouth)

[@tuomasronnberg5244]

​@@jpjfrey5673Yea but vampires and werewolves are not **common** encounters yet folklore of their weaknesses is widespread. So it also makes sense that even though a troll isn't a **common** encounter, peasants would still know how to fight one.

[@thetowndrunk988]

One of the most frustrating things I’ve ever encountered (as a DM), is I was transitioning a group from a home brew one shot, over to Ravenloft. I ended the session with a description of an area they ended up with, and a player who’d already played Ravenloft spoke up “that’s not at all how the adventure starts”……

[@Odande]

OH MY GOD I hate that shit "Modrons don't act that way" "Doesn't make sense that Iarno is from Phandalin" "Um, goblins don't normally get that bonus action do they?" In my game, THEY DO.

[@thetowndrunk988]

@@Odande Yeah, I had to say “you’re not there yet. You’re in a transition area on another world”. Like WTF

[@GonzoEDH]

what a &÷;$>!*×&

[@xxTerraPrimexx]

​@thetowndrunk988 that is just poor show from the player, I am running it for the 3rd time now and I have changed it nearly everytime on how they get there ^^ Edit: I meant for 3 different groups but for the same group I would 100% change it up

[@sipjedekat8525]

​@@thetowndrunk988better to cut it right off by saying you'll play it your own way and won't follow the book exactly. And also mention if he starts metagaming the adventure you won't appreciate it.

[@Xecroy]

The one thing I did in my first and ongoing campaign is I said "When you guys encounter a monster if it's common knowledge I will tell you "you see a Troll" or "You see a Yeti" and that's the cue that your characters will know what that is. If I describe but don't name the creature that's the cue that you might not know what it is and I might allow an appropriate skill check to allow you to see if you have knowledge of the creature. I did this when my players encountered a Wyvern but given the setting one player said "It sounds like a pterodactyl" out of character.

[@adambielen8996]

That is actually a really good idea.

[@Zaximillian]

This is one of the things that makes exotic monsters scary.

[@TA-by9wv]

Pretending to not know that a vampire needs to return to his coffin or that a black dragon breathes acid is more trouble than it's worth. And then it just produces a different exercise in meta gaming where players are trying to come up with a reason for their characters to know the out of game knowledge. Imo it adds nothing to the game and is more trouble than it's worth. The description method can work however, along with mixing in variant monsters.

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

​@@TA-by9wvit's REALLY not that hard, dude. 😂 Like you work off of what your character can know. Easy example with another property, if a pokemon trainer sees a Charmander it's easy to guess based on their fiery tail that they're a fire type. It's a whole other thing to be like "if the flame on its tail goes out it dies! At this level the possible moves it can know are X, Y, and Z!! It has this many points in DEF!!! etc.

[@andrewshaughnessy5828]

I've taken the same approach with some one-shot adventures. I threw a bodak at a level 7 party but just described it instead of saying what it was. They only began to suspect it was a bodak after the half-orc totem warrior went down in round 1!

[@Politizer]

Kelly mentioning how failure can be just as fun as success is very timely, as it reminds me of something that just happened in my game last night. The PCs stumbled across some fey creatures who demanded that the PCs do something to entertain and delight them; my plan was that if the PCs described something sufficiently entertaining (perhaps with appropriate skill checks) then the fey would bestow some blessings on them. So the players described how they put on a show illustrating the great battle they had just fought earlier... and proceeded to miserably fail all their skill checks at it. They decided on the spot that their attempt to put on an epic show ended up coming across as slapstick comedy. The fey loved it, had a good laugh, and gave the PCs their blessing.

[@shixter]

Great Story!

[@lanxreedalenlum3706]

honestly, failing is usually way more fun and memoriable , for example, without spoilers im running drakkenhiem, and me and my players are usually crying with laughter becuase of how bad its going, they just got to level five i think we are at like 10 deaths now, and we are all loving the campaign

[@danzai]

this is my biggest gripe with baldurs gate 3 being a pseudo d&d simulator, it simply does not even try Failure = different story, and instead just denies the player their prize

[@loganmcgee18]

I thought he meant failing in the story, not just on the dice roll. Your example seems more like, how to change a fail into a success?

[@jaybay347]

DM keeps beating my character over the head with info that her father figure is the bad guy. Character doesn't want to believe it. Roll insight- nat 1 with a -1 modifier. "Yeah, this guy is lying. He would never do that"

[@Tomyironmane]

Not playing collaboratively... Reminding me of an awful group way back in 3.5 edition... they treated my character as a utility, and when he died, they were all like "no, we're not going to raise him, we get less loot that way. Now hand over your character sheet so we can divide up your stuff. No we can't take the cost out of your character's share, we want to divide up their stuff, now hand it over." I tossed it in their face and left. It was my first game, and it was damn near my last.

[@BoisegangGaming]

What the hell lmao

[@MrBottlecapBill]

I mean, is resurrection common in that world? It's usually NOT......and it's usually very expensive so if you're in a group of individuals looking to get wealthy by adventuring that may not be too far out of line lol.

[@atherton01]

D&D with the wrong people is worse than no D&D. I’m glad it wasn’t your last game - it could only go up from there!

[@starhalv2427]

​​@@MrBottlecapBill Them offering to fund resurrection out of their share alone kinda implies it wasn't that difficult in this case, they were just dicks

[@stevenclark5173]

@@MrBottlecapBillI would consider players putting money ahead of another player's life to be neutral evil at best.

[@galefromwaterdeep]

What people tend to forget (re: the 'Matt Mercer effect') is that on shows/popular streams like CR... they're all professionals. The players who are doing the roleplaying are professional actors (some 'traditional' actors, some voice actors). They have professional writers writing the campaign, creating villains, plot hooks, and narratives. And at this point, that's their *job* (at least one of them). They're *paid* to do these things. Your average D&D group with an average (or even a really good) DM... don't have that. They don't have the professional experience doing these things, and they don't have the time to dedicate to doing them as much, because they have jobs/school, families, etc. They write their campaigns and play their sessions when they have the time to do so. So it's not going to be 'professional grade', and it's unfair to expect that of them (unless you're independently wealthy and want to pay your D&D group, I guess).

[@Zaximillian]

The very best response for this kind of expectation is to ask "What kind of professional type presentation and execution can we actually pull off without affecting the game in a negative or overbearing way?"

[@vonshroom2068]

I always open with this D&D campaign is more like Vin Diesel running it and then play the clip where he's advertising streetsharks. Its a very succesfull way to set expectations.

[@h0ly208]

​​@@vonshroom2068 wait what? Posting this comment so I don't lose yours when I look up that clip. That sounds hilarious. Edit: that was worth every second I spent looking it up and watching it. Good God what a way to set expectations.

[@kalaweira]

"They have professional writers writing the campaign, creating villains, plot hooks, and narratives." Since when?

[@mrbean3470]

I made a druid with the idea that I would be the stealthy scout via wildshape for the party. When a new player joined our party as a rogue, it was a struggle sometimes. The rogue is supposed to be the stealthy scout, but in many cases the druid can do it better. You don't want to take away from another player's strengths and overshadow them. So I started proposing to cast pass without trace and then (moon druid) bonus action into a small innocuous form to ride on the rogue's shoulder. With their high dex and expertise and the +10 I give them, it pretty much guarantees they succeed. But sometimes there are places they can't get to, which they can tell me to look into in wildshape form. So we both get to be the scout, but when our powers combine, we're like the uber scout. It is still a work in progress. But to fit into the video... Let the rest of the party play to their strengths. Build them up, don't make them feel inadequate because your uberleet optimized badass is prepped to solo the whole damn thing. Nobody likes a Mary Sue.

[@belegur8108]

i can relate to that with my currently played gnome artificer ( with the scholar/researcher background ) in a group with 2 wizards. one of them just plainly doesn't care about backgrounds or active participation in table role playing, but the other IS my problem. He thinks, he is the only legit source of academic information and i have no input into knowledge skill tests, even when our group has a library to its disposal and that it IS my specialty to rumage through tomes and scrolls to find the hint, we are looking for. The same player had an elven druid in our last campaign, but never used any druidic special features, when he got the "Oathbow" very rare magic weapon at character creation ( i very much blame the DM for this and the rest of our group sided with me, because ) and then just plainly played a worse ranger ( of cause taking Elven Accuracy, Sharpshooter cheese feats, but constantly cussing about only having one attack each turn...

[@trequor]

Teamwork is the soul of the game

[@jasonagodfrey]

I have a duo that's similar (rogue and spore druid) and aside from what you describe, the druid wanted to help pick a lock by becoming a roach and creeping into the lock to guide the rogue's tools. It was a very cool moment.

[@rickhamilton930]

As someone that grow up in Florida, i was taught as a child about different species of snakes, how to react to an alligator attacking, how to spot a rip tide at the beach ext ext. If you live in a dangerous place its common to be taught about some of the dangerous things you'd encounter. knowing the exacted numbers of the zombies saving throws is one thing but just understanding that zombies arent known for being smart and probably do badly against int saves are very different.

[@n-a_n-a]

This ^

[@8umber]

Hey Kelly I saw a previous post about you losing your mom. Please know that you are not alone and that we love and cherish both you and Monty and everyone who helps brings this channel to life.

[@PerpetualBass]

I read this comment during the section about spotlight hogs

[@neon9152]

One thing my group did instead of discussing character hitpoints, was describing to the table how our character is looking. It let us play up their injuries and made really dire battles very thematic to the group, and say someone wanted to heal a party member, they would have to base it on what they're "seeing" in the scene instead of raw numbers (we had a means of secretly chatting with our DM for questions etc. and they would keep track of our hitpoints along with us). I don't know, I really enjoyed playing that way. The DM of course did that with the enemies also, it was never "if I roll an 8 we can take it down" it was "this one is limping and bleeding out, lets target it."

[@adambielen8996]

My group also does something similar. It feels a lot better than just being given a number.

[@j.alexandermyersen1176]

Great idea!

[@jasonagodfrey]

This can cut both ways. As a DM, I do this to keep from giving away how far the enemy is from death. I have a player who wants to do this to create immersion but she also bears down on anyone who does mention numbers. There has to be some grace and forgiveness when the mask slips.

[@HeartlandHunny]

Fun fact: one of the guys who DMs for our group gave a sermon for our church that used D&D and rules lawyering as an analogy for not abusing scripture. He even used one of our fellow players as an example of someone who loves rules but isn’t a rule lawyer. It was a great sermon about not trying to bend the scriptures to find loopholes or trying to make it say what we want it to say. There’s about 15 of us in our church who play D&D together through various campaigns and one-shots, and thankfully I can say that I’ve rarely seen any of these issues come up at the tables I’ve played at.

[@ahorseofcourse7283]

Doesn't he know that playing D&D is a doorway to SATAN??? 👹👹👹👹

[@topkapi9351]

This is an encouraging anecdote and I'm glad to hear that you get to have that experience. 😄

[@stevenclark5173]

The problem is that unless your a biblical literalist then everyone is bending the scriptures to interpret what they want it to say.

[@off6848]

@@stevenclark5173not really no. There are times where Jesus tells people to not take him literally most famously “I will tear this temple down and raise it up in 3 days”. So it’s actually Biblical canon that there are right ways to interpret that aren’t always literal.

[@h0ly208]

​​@@off6848 my analogy for religion is we're all just a bunch of people sitting in a room pointing at a lightbulb in different ways, and getting mad at each other for which finger we use to point at it. I'm more concerned with what kinda paint is on the walls, and thankful for the light being there so I can see it, but to me it's just a lightbulb. I don't think it's God or Allah or The Trimurti, those are names we call it. We gave it. Who's to say who was right? Learn what you can wherever you can, be generous when you're able to and kind when you're not, and take it all with a grain of salt. Form your own opinions and know that nobody has the answers. We're all just learning as we live.

[@carlosbaroni1158]

1 hour long video of dungeon dudes,we eating good today!

[@brandonschlimpf-sh1ys]

One of my most memorable moment was in pathfinder. Our characters were having an argument (fit within the character progression) and my friend broke role, asked if I was ok with him grabbing me up by my shirt and yelling in my face. It was appropriate for the role play and I agreed. I felt genuine fear, and it added such a deep level of gameplay. I truly felt connected with my character but he asked permission before crossing that boundary.

[@BlueTressym]

Kudos to all concerned. I've seen someone do that *without* OOC consent and the target (my now gf) was majorly freaked out by it. I was furious. (This was in a LARP too, for an extra layer of visceral unpleasantness.)

[@Zaximillian]

Yeah, there are such things as Method roleplayers, and these folks need to be upfront with the intensity that they are able and willing to portray.

[@guyfromdubai]

@@BlueTressym You'd think some people would consider asking for consent to do something like that to the actual person in real life. The fuck is wrong with some people.

[@BlueTressym]

@@guyfromdubai agreed. Larp can be even worse for toxicity than TTRPGs and the creeps and toxic people are harder to dislodge because it's a paid game. Almost no one is willing to kick out someone who paid to attend an event, so they generally get away with being awful.

[@Zaximillian]

Edit: If you are one of these players (or DMs!) that can emote to the point of tears or hysterics AND be able to responsibly turn it off, tell your tablemates beforehand. Be prepared to turn it down or ask your DM to help Direct you. Do NOT upstage anyone. This is not theatre. It remains a game.

[@Diphyidae]

The only game I have had to leave was when a player decided to constantly attack me for my choices as a DM. No amount of speaking before and after the game seemed to help. If the player triggered a trap, he would yell at me saying his character wouldn't just stand around and let the trap be triggered. He never said his character was actively doing anything and just expected me to know what he wanted to do, even asking "what is your character doing as you are travelling? Is anyone on the look out or helping to navigate or are you all just relaxing while one taking turns driving? " didn't help because the answer would be "we are just travelling". Then they would get ambushed and I'd get yelled at because "well of course my character was looking out for enemies!!" After a certain point I told him I wasn't playing dnd to be a punching bag for him. He didn't seem to thing it was a problem and said it was my fault for not being able to handle it....

[@OgamiItto70]

"Playing in my game is voluntary. Don't like how I DM? Leave." Boom. Problem solved. One of 3 things usually happens then. A, the player straightens up and flies right. B, the player quits. C, some or all of the players quit. Be perfectly happy about and prepared for all of these eventualities.

[@robertbeach71]

Talk about an abusive personality in that player! Jeez

[@Archangelm127]

Throw. Them. Out. That's not a personality type you want in your life generally, nevermind an RPG.

[@xxTerraPrimexx]

Nursery rhymes as well would be a good way to communicate certain common creatures such as troll, shadows, vampires etc. Not to mention, some of them can always be wrong. 😅

[@KaioKenneth4]

“Some of them can always be wrong” is a hilarious idea! It would be so funny to see a party throw a solvent on a slime thinking that it would dissolve instantly only for it to do nothing. The hypothetical look of “oh shit, my mom was wrong?” on the characters’ faces would be priceless 😂

[@belegur8108]

in a German p&p system Das Schwarze Auge ( The Dark eye) vampires work very different than "normal" ... each one was unique in its vulnerabilities depended on its own believes and cultural background... so the goblin vampire we encountered once was unaffected by holy water or religious symbols, that would have worked on a "civilised human raise the right way", but was highly vulnerable to wolves teeth and weapons made of them. The desert troll vampire was vulnerable to cold damage ( and stopped regenerating ), because IT believed so ... was hilarious to find out, what worked against which vampires ( was a minor plot line we had to kill 5 vampires of very different origins and natures )

[@MinnowTF]

I say this as a DM: The “Refusing to buy-in” thing is more often than not because of inexperienced DMs. A DM who does not do work to give the characters ample motivation for the characters to progress the story has done something wrong. That’s why you should always start by either a) letting your players know what kind of characters you want them to play, b) reading up on their backstories and giving them each a good reason to progress, or c) put them in a situation in which the only logical things to do progress the main quest.

[@belegur8108]

actually that is where the famous "Session zero" comes into play, where the DM vagely explains what he wants in his campaign and the players give their input on what they want to play. THEN both the DM and each player should come up with a motivation together, that then can be written into the story. So the DM always has some clues about each character to steer them into a direction that will progress the plot.

[@trequor]

Yes, but also everyone needs to be cool with PCs retiring if they have no reason to adventure. The price of player choice is that some choices lead to losing your character. That's just part of the game

[@spbslinky7381]

From my last gaming group, about 8 years ago, with people who I thought were close friends. It was clear that both the players and the DM didn't know the rules for 5e. They would constantly do and say things that weren't allowed and look confused when I role played using the rules as written. Like saying the fighter class doesn't get second wind til level 5, and letting town guards move 5 times their allowed movement speed in combat so the DM could get his party kill. I was always accused of not using the rules properly, metagaming and trying to cheat. One example: I was called out for not using two hands to spell cast with my druid, when my DM thought he had me trapped in another effort to try and kill me off. He said this is how all spell casting works, even though he allowed the paladin and bard to cast without any free hands (neither had the war caster feat). I said you only need one free hand to cast spells and was then kicked out of the group. It was such a toxic gaming experience that I haven't role played since.

[@theomegapotato370]

At that point you have to wonder why are they even playing D&D if they refuse to learn basic rules. If they want something more rules lite there are a number of different systems they can use. Also what is up with the whole thing of the DM trying to kill his party off like that?

[@spbslinky7381]

@theomegapotato370 the DM had lots of total party kills in his games, he was proud of it. I believe that if he found that someone had a character that was going to ruin his game, he would fudge or make up some rule that, so that he could kill the PC. My last character only survived such assassination attempts because I was too clever for him to get away with it. Every time I tried to explain why I was simply using the correct rules through my role playing, I realised everyone just saw me as a problem player. I'm a pro DM myself and I also own every 5e book, and so I found out every time he had also changed adventures to his advantage to kill us off, not give out magic items etc. The other players had no idea, most of them didn't even own the players handbook.

[@belegur8108]

@@spbslinky7381 wow... just wow... i am sorry you had experienced probably the worst goup ever, that so profoundly killed your fun for ttrpgs. Please try to find another group, because there are enough out there, who search for good players. But that you faced the worst DM, one can imagine... the type that sees itself as the opponent of the party and not the storyteller, that just is a travelling companion through the groups story and mostly just gives the reaction of the world to the players actions is sad.

[@Archangelm127]

@@spbslinky7381 That's one of the textbook warning signs of a toxic DM.

[@helgard916]

Just had to ban two players from my table for several of these issues. We do milestone leveling on a fairly regular schedule, and everyone knows when it happens and to take time outside of sessions to level up their character. (I make time to meet up if anyone wants help.) These two were supposed veteran players but always showed up with none of the work done. They never knew what their characters could do or what items they had. One constantly did the lone wolf bit of "this is a stupid plan" and "I guess I'll pretend my character cares about this." The other would complain about not getting the spotlight, but his character never interacted with NPCs, even the ones he supposedly knew well. He wanted the plot to just cater to him automatically. He also complained constantly about taking damage despite being a fighter who ran headfirst into every combat. They both were constantly missing sessions (they were a couple) for things that supposedly couldn't be rescheduled, but they were messaging another player that they didn't care if they missed sessions and we should just cancel whenever. There was a lot of other stuff too, like constantly not paying attention. It was heavily affecting everyone else at the table, and any time we tried to ask if anything was wrong or they needed a break or had issues with the game, all we got was "everything is fine." My co-DM and I finally sent them a joint message very politely pointing out the issues we had seen and telling them we didn't think our table was the right fit for the kind of game they wanted. We were careful to clarify we still wanted to be friends and they were welcome at group dinners and movie nights. They both freaked out and accused us of a bunch of things, saying we were being aggressive and targeting them and had never wanted to be their friends anyway. It was paragraphs upon paragraphs of accusations and complaints. They also accused us of discriminating against them because they were both autistic, despite the fact that everyone at our table, including both DMs, is also autistic. When we offered to have a calm discussion, possibly in person, they said we were just looking to get more information to use against them. They then messaged the other people at the table behind our backs with a heavily modified version of events to make it look like we had been awful to them for no reason. Thankfully, we had already had several conversations with other people at the table about the issues other people saw and how it would be handled, so one believed them. If anything, the other players were really turned off by there behavior. Everyone has since cut them off, and now we're looking forward to running the rest of the game without all the drama, lol. But it was super affirming to see you guys list so many of their behaviors as actual problems, so thanks.

[@gustaafargoan]

My daughter came home from kindergarten one day and said, "Jeff told me he was autistic, but he can't even color in the lines".

[@helgard916]

@@gustaafargoan That's amazing, lol. One of my kids had a phase when she was a bit younger where she kept saying autistic instead of artistic. Kids are hilarious.

[@nikolasversteeg]

That sounds like a terrible pair to have at the table! Glad they're gone!

[@helgard916]

@@nikolasversteeg We are too. We've had a couple sessions since removing them, and everyone has had a blast.

[@justinroeland6062]

The worst experience I ever had in D&D was back in my 3.5 days. I was playing a bard and another player was a barbarian. After finishing the encounter we go to split up loot. (we roll a d20 and take turns picking items) The barbarian goes first, there was a +2 greataxe and a pearl of power. This player pulls out his copy of the DMG to look up the value of the items and chooses the pearl. Maybe I'm wrong here but I felt like he was way out of line.

[@CountryMusicMann]

Yeah, that's metagaming to get the most profit.

[@Archangelm127]

The operative phrase here is "need before greed."

[@1003JustinLaw]

Yay, time to pull out my “tourist twins” story again! The single WORST experience I’ve had as a DM was with these two completely jackass twin brothers who *say* they want to play an epic adventure, yet every time I present an adventure hook, of ANY KIND, they insist on skipping town and would drag the rest of the party with them and force me to improvise a backwater village where they can then force me to role-play the local milkmaid that they proceed to have non-consensual verbal sex with. They’ve ignored goblin raids, orc attacks, zombie uprising, stories of dragons kidnapping a princess, tales of buried treasure, a fucking magical castle falling into the middle of the town square, and each time these two jackasses would be like “that’s our cue to get out of here!” I talked to them in private, in front of the others, calling out their bullshit during game, nothing works. Until finally I told them that their style is not meshing with my style and that they should maybe consider finding another group, and I shit you not these two fly into a hissy fit, one dumped his frappe onto my laptop while the other one threw a chair through my window, and they started to hurl verbal abuse at me about how I’m a failure as a DM and moreover a fail at being a human and I should go kill myself. I told them to leave my house before I call the cops on them, they do, but they kick my dog so hard as they’re leaving that they ruptured her spleen. They then proceeded to egg my house every other day while I filed restraining orders against them and when I finally took them to court for property damage and nearly killing my dog they kept shouting over me so much that the judge had to order them be restrained. Turns out those two have been having problems since they were kids but always felt justified since “we think the same so we must be right”. What’s worse than a psychopath? A pair of psychopathic twins who builds off of one-another it seems… To all you people thinking of replying“r/thathappened”, I see you, and while you might not believe me regardless of what I say, let me just put it here: everything I’ve written here really has happened, there are three people out there, the other members of this game group, who were equally traumatized by this experience as I was.

[@besthobbit]

Glad your dog didn't die from it :(

[@starhalv2427]

Players skipping town kinda happened to me (They teleported into spelljammer, which wasn't planned by me, tho I did allow it), but sheeesh your story went in a completely unforeseen direction. These two sound like cartoon villains for real.

[@1003JustinLaw]

@@besthobbit she’s an old girl but still a big big girl (Labradooodle) it’ll probably take a truck to kill her. Still, kicking a dog hard enough to rupture her organ is still animal abuse, and while those asses are serving time for aggravated assault, my head canon is they’re serving time for attempted murder (against my fuwa fuwa baby girl)

[@1003JustinLaw]

@@starhalv2427 twins do be like that, they compete and collaborate with each other in everything. At best they both become extremely successful to one-up one another; at worst they fall into depravity using each other as excuses to delve deeper. I’ve met a few twins but these two are by FAR the worst.

[@starhalv2427]

@@1003JustinLaw I only ever had contact with two pairs twins. First twins, sisters and neighbours to my grandma's vacation house, were cool, I couldn't tell them apart at all but they didn't mind and just laughed at it (It was a gag for me to always ask which one they are, even when I knew), we were good friends- eventually they moved out and we lost contact tho. Second twins were a bit more problematic, I met them on a sport camp my parents forced me to go on because I didn't like sport at all. These twins were kinda dicks to me, alongside other kids they made fun of me because I didn't do well at this sport at all, but when at the end of that camp I had a legit meltdown they were the ones, out of all the kids, to actually tell others "Hey, let's stop it, we crossed the line here", sit down listen to me about my issues and share their opinions, even shared a pretty sensitive topic about how they were often made fun of because they're twins in an attempt to make me feel better, so in the end they weren't as bad as I thought. So yeah, you're on point, whether it be at their best or worst, twins are pretty much always together and agree with eachother, whether they're competing or working together.

[@orim]

Went through a lot of introspection and self-analysis in 2023 after a group of longtime (online) friends I'd been involved in a campaign with for years asked me to leave the game. In retrospect, some of the behaviors you advise us to avoid in this awesome video were things I was guilty of in removed but periodic incidents. Granted, I wasn't involved in a session zero, and I wasn't warned when I was making the table uncomfortable in each of these instances, but I had to accept that I was the problem. Not really any horror stories here to share, but personal testimonials or confessions, if you will. Things I found a lot of value in learning, albeit after the fact and at the expense of my friends' enjoyment. 1. Not Playing Collaboratively - I didn't realize I was doing this until after the session. A friend took Speak With Dead and was about to cast it on a long-dead relative of an important NPC. This was in 2022, before the D&D movie highlighted the comic mischief of letting this play out naturally. I was more than vehement and armchair gaming when I warned my friend at great length that a DM could screw you over if you didn't choose your words and questions carefully. In retrospect, it was bullying and trying to decide for a player what they wanted to do. I was worried about them screwing up and wasting the limited questions of the spell, but that honestly is part of the joy of playing D&D and finding out how magic works with the world. I feel bad about this to this day. 2. Stealing The Spotlight -- This was a primary accusation the group brought against me the day I was asked to leave. We had a lot of socially anxious and shy people at our campaign table, even those who were playing mechanically high-charisma characters. Nobody agreed on who would be the party face or the leader, and to be fair most groups don't even need a leader. You wonderfully reminded us that leaders need to listen to others. There were a number of sessions at the campaign where we'd be asked what we would do next, or what major decision/path to take ... and nobody would speak up. This would irritate me into thinking that nobody wanted to take any initiative or was dragging the session out. A lot of the social encounters involved me carefully choosing my words and conveying what the party agreed upon. I didn't see until after I left that I took center stage too often and didn't pass the ball or share the spotlight at all. My perception that I was having my personal questing rp or getting the party moving ended up being oppressive. I've been invited to other campaigns since I've tried to change who I am, and I'm happy to say I haven't been approached yet about being a problem at the tables since. But I'll never be able to forget how terrible it must have been for my friends in the one campaign to have an overzealous and hypersocial ruin the fun they were looking forward to every weekend. Also, uh, new DMs, never skip session zeroes. Especially when you onboard new players mid-campaign. Managing expectations and rp styles and what players want to get out of the game are essential.

[@trequor]

You werent entirely in the wrong. That table might be dead without you. DnD parties need at least one extrovert or the game doesnt work. It cant move forward with a player deciding to DO something

[@danzai]

First point: metagaming, I agree completely, but I'm not sure your examples are the best. I think the better example, is that the DM describes an event that happens away from your party, or imparts some knowlege that impacts just one of the characters that only that particular character knows and has not shared, yet the behaviour of another character is completely a response to the player having learned that knowledge when in fact their character has no clue. It takes some player experience to essentially ignore the information that their character doesn't actuallly know when roleplaying their character. I think the DM in such a position has to call out a player that does this. Not in a penalising way but just so they are made aware of it. I think this the most common and influential offense with metagaming, as oppposed to the door must have a lock scenario or that there's an NPC in a particular location, or a guess about cleric spells, which I feel are much less impactiful

[@sirnoobalot2632]

Why "Notes" is a good thing. Ofc if you play is also a show like the D-Dudes do, it wont work for the audiance.

[@timsindledecker2953]

For that type of metagaming I prevent myself from knowing because if I'm not with the group that something is happening to I simply get ready for it to be my turn. My DM knows I'm doing it and calls my attention to things that I would notice if I were nearby. It just happened Monday we were apparently in the same cavern but I wasn't aware of it, and he literally yelled Boom to scare me into paying attention. Now I'm getting on comes, were playing sw5e, and am asking him what the hell happened.

[@phvieira256]

Sometimes after I give some info to my player, specific one, I tell him to phrase with his own words, so he decide how much he want to share. and the other players can stick with the right amount of information.

[@Nempo13]

Yeah their door analogy sucked. It is a DOOR...there is always a way to open a door. Otherwise there would be no door. Also, requiring disintegrate to open a door like he said is legit HORRIBLE as a DM. That is a DM fail/lazy DM solution.

[@Morjixxo]

Unpopular opinion: Metagaming can be good. Metagaming is just another tool, knowing how to use it can improve the game experience. Having both a hammer and a saw is always better than having only one of the two. 🥸 Here is what people miss: Beginner player mindset: _"What do I do?"_ Average player mindset: _"What would my character do?"_ Advanced player mindset: *_"What can my character do to improve the game experience?"_* You see, the goal of the game isn't necessarily a perfect roleplay, for most groups the goal is having fun through collaborative storytelling. So there is a point in which, for the sake of fun, it make sense to deviate from a perfect roleplayed experience. Depending on the group and the situation, sometimes breaking the 4th wall for cracking a joke is better than staying in-character. Sometimes helping a comrades with meta-knowledge is better than an undeserved death. Sometimes an introverted PC can be talkative, if that means involving otherwise left-out players. Sure, in a perfect world, we should be able to both perfectly roleplay and have fun. But in the real world, that's not always possible, and that's where we need to make a compromise. The ability to calibrate in-game decision depending of in AND out-of-game context IS Metagame, IS exactly what the DM does all the time and IS what separates great players from average players. Metagame is indeed a unique feature of DnD!

[@SeeleyOne]

"My character would not do that." Okay. So stop playing that character and make one that will. Like you were told before you made your character.

[@Archangelm127]

Yep. I have a whole .txt of quirky character traits/ideas I'd like to use someday, but I always make it a rule to read/hear the campaign pitch and setting, and *only then* start thinking up my character. If I can't give a plausible reason why my PC is there and would be involved, I go back to the drawing board. Once this wound up with a beastfolk monk (we were all being a little munchkin in our builds and I wanted the massive DEX buff). However, this gal didn't know anything about beastfolk culture and didn't even speak Beastspeech, because she was raised in a Dwarven monastery. Her first language was Dwarven, she acted more or less like a very reserved dwarf, and it confused the hell out of *every* NPC we met. That was a hoot.

[@abracadabruh7420]

I had a player who would litterally vibe check me to see if I kept track of scientific facts in a fantasy setting like "how does the deathless curse affect bacteria?"(luckily I was always crazy enough to always have something ready like "they don't have a soul in my setting, so they're not affected") and once he stalled the game for one hour arguing just on misty step... And would just not shut up after asking politely for four times or so... Not to mention I usually had to remind him of the game session once the day before and once the day of the session or he would just forget (we never changed time and day, it was annoying...)

[@leahwilton785]

Yikes! Meanwhile, last session my pcs were chatting with a sea monster, and then one player goes "Wait... how is it breathing?" ...I genuinely have no idea how amphibious dinosaurs breathe. So I just told them I didn't know the answer, and we moved on. Hopefully you've found some better players now, or else i'm sending you my good vibes that you will soon.

[@estebangarcia8730]

My answer would have been "how does your character know about bacteria?"

[@richardkinsville-davis5030]

I play with a bunch of geeks and nerds too (and I love them all). "Hey, how does airflow work in this dungeon? There's no ventilation system!" "Hey, how could a giant spider be a giant to begin with? It's weight would crush it." "How does a dragon breathe fire, or acid, or poisonous gas...Is it bio-chemical reaction or is the substance stored in venom sacks or something..."...My answer is always *dramatic wave of my hand* "It's MAAAAAAAGIC...."

[@manuelmialdea5127]

With the one hour arguing... That would've been his last session at my table. You're ruining the game not just for me but for every other player.

[@electronsmove]

We had several DMs as players and the most frequent question during conversations was "yeah, but does your character know that?" We would enjoy doing things the character would do that we knew would not work. "That was dumb." Yeah, but that's what an angry half-drunk dwarf would do. "Oh yeah, true." We had no problem role playing the characters and thought that was the most fun...not trying to "win" the game. To us, there was no way to lose D&D. It was all about pizza and board game breaks, and BS with friends. How can you lose?

[@myleslong92]

I have an anecdote about metagaming which is made especially relevant by your example of "Everyone knows trolls are weak to fire damage." My current character, Penny, is a very unwise sorcerer who is desperately holding onto the belief that she's really a wizard (due to the combination of low wisdom, middling intelligence, and a desperation to impress her absent wizard father). I've been a DM before, so as a player, I have a pretty good knowledge of most of the monsters we go up against; as such, whenever we come up against a creature that I know relevant information about, I'll ask to make an intelligence roll to see if Penny knows it too. On a high roll, I remember the knowledge from one of my father's biographies, and on a low roll, I'm completely in the dark. My favourite example of this was on my very first session as the character. The party was level 4, and got told in advance that we were heading towards a bridge guarded by a troll and four goblins, so I said that Penny would go to the library and try to "learn" about trolls in advance. I rolled pretty low on my investigation check, so we decided that Penny had checked out a whole book called "combat against trolls 101", but had failed to learn anything from it because she had ADHD (as do I, the player) and kept reading the same sentence over and over. Everyone in the party BUT Penny knew that the troll was vulnerable to fire damage, but Penny was the only one with access to fire spells. The most fun thing about this was that all of Penny's spells have something to do with fire or temperature control, so I ended up using fire spells almost every turn... targeting the goblins. Then on the third turn, I had Penny shout, "you guys, I've noticed something. the troll keeps looking scared of me when I cast burning hands, and on the turn where he was hit by the fire, his wounds don't heal. I think this troll is vulnerable... to magic damage!" and I had her cast frostbite on the troll. By the next turn, the rest of the party had set me straight and the battle was over pretty quickly. But I couldn't have asked for a better introduction to my dumbass character.

[@LupineShadowOmega]

That's fun, but I'd expect one of the others to yell at her... "Hey, the troll. Hit him... PLEASE!?"

[@PrimusxPilus]

That's hilarious and I love it

[@Nempo13]

A sorc holding onto the belief they are a wizard? If you have 10+ int they would be smart enough to know they aren't. Int is knowledge, wis is awareness. That whole interaction feels more low int not low wis. Your character noticed that they damaged the troll and shown fear...which is wis, not int. I know being 'dumb' is not a nice way to feel but I would def say the character comes across having more wis than int in how you describe the interactions than low wis and average int. Even ADHD itself comes off that way. You see/notice/look at everything and have issues focusing. "Ooh shiny!" is high wis low int. Being able to study and learning is high int. Lacking focus is low int (concentration is int based).

[@thatguy846]

Hey fellow adventurers, last 'turn' I used my 'action' to cast a spell and the ogre looked scared 🧐 that's some strange rp

[@SamCornick]

@@Nempo13 Psst, roleplay doesn't have to be limited by what stats your character has. As long as it makes sense to you and your table and everyone's having a good time, then nothing else matters. For example, in one of my campaigns I'm playing an elderly cleric. Someone new recently joined in table so I had my character chat with his over supper so we can learn a bit about his backstory. After the conversation I said that my cleric keeps chattering on with small talk for the next hour or so for until it's time for bed. The player wanted to roll deception so his character would appear engaged even though the small talk bored him. He got a 14. My cleric has a 16 passive insight so my character technically should have known the interest was forced. However I said my cleric was oblivious to this since it would be funnier to just keep on blissfully rambling on. No one objected and we all got a good laugh out of the new ranger trapped in small talk with the rambly old fart.

[@Dicequake]

Not a horror story - the opposite. This video really highlighted what an amazing group I have. It’s made up of my two grown sons (in their 20’s) and four of their friends and we play weekly 4 hour session. Two are a couple and out of state, so we play online. We’re just about at our 4th anniversary of our beginning, ready to finish our second full campaign in a couple of months, and they are the most engaged, honest, open, and awesome players I could have hoped for. They embody everything you say people should do *instead* in this video. I love this game, love my players, and, okay, love your channel lol. Cheers.

[@DurandalsFate]

Knowing your setting in detail can be a blessing and a curse to the table. You can help a lot with immersion and having big goals in the world that the DM can use to drive the action. But when the DM presents something that contradicts your knowledge of the setting, you need to have an understanding with them about how to sensitively respond: do they appreciate a quick side message about the canon lore, or are they building a story that purposefully deviates from the lore as you understand it? I had that conversation in Session Zero, and my DM invited corrections on the canon lore for the sake of the players who love the setting, but that's not a license to be a jerk about it. Also, there are plenty of times when I think, "That's not how I imagined this character would act, but it's my DM's take on this world, so let's roll with it!"

[@TheMightyBattleSquid]

Yeah, especially when it's something that relates to your character. It's so touch and go with one of my DMs because dude has the memory of a goldfish for some things and a steel trap with others. So it's like "did he really forget my tiefling is part demon or are these devils at his former home making deals with his father on purpose?" Even just asking some DMs will get the metagame alarms blaring at some tables so I waited it out just to confirm he forgot and by then my arc had been riddled by inconsistencies...

[@stargateproductions]

Arguing with the Dungeon Master hits me hard. I run multiple games for various people and it gets rough when the players are rules arguing. I ended up giving up on a group that just wasn't happy with my rulings or homebrew. I'm doing this for free and I rather do something else than argue with a player about rules or rulings.

[@Nexidal]

Monty and Kelly, I really appreciate your channel. It's fun, informative, and has been really helpful getting friends into D&D. Keep it up, you guys are the best!

[@HughRGlen]

I'm definitely in the "rehabilitate Rules Lawyer as a term" camp; I'm my tables' resident rules lawyer and every DM I have is grateful for it. I advocate for the rules, not the personal benefit. I am pretty good at inserting a quick "that's not the rule" while also only digging in if it's a substantial or important ruling. Just last session, the surprise rules were totally borked by the DM but I didn't even mention it until days later because the outcome didn't really change and it was a wicked complicated scenario. Even chatting 1 on 1 with the DM later took like a solid 20 minutes to walk through the whys and wherefores. NEVER would I tie up a session that long for something so minor. (it'd need to be an intentional unfair PC death to driev me to do that mid-session at which point I'd probably leave the game) I also have had a couple antagonistic DMs who have changed rules mid-fight to benefit their desired outcome and on a couple of occasions reverted the rule back after insisting we abide by their change. To those like Monty for whom the term Rules Lawyer can't be rehabbed... what would you call such a "benevolent rules lawyer"?

[@Valbu]

I’ll call you “Rules connoisseur”

[@Nystagmium]

"White-Hat" rules lawyer?

[@HughRGlen]

​@@ValbuFancy! I like it.

[@sipjedekat8525]

I get what you're saying here. When I'm not DM, I usually fit in this slot. When I DM though, and there's some rules dispute, I'll usually come up with a quick solution to the situation at hand ( just roll an ability check or something) ask if everyone concurs with the quick fix for now, and tell everyone we'll go over the specifics after the game or maybe even in the next session. It keeps the game flowing without stalling. Of course, when it really makes or breaks the game, we bust out our debating skills. In the end though, if everyone had their say I'll just pick the most logical ruling that came forth and declare that to be the rule from now on.

[@eastvanisfun]

ruling justice advocate

[@Gegi1992]

Regarding the "Arguing with the DM" part - I feel like very often this happens when players brew up some insane combo that they either though about themself or found online, and they keept it as a secret to blast it out as a surprise in a clutch situation. And if in that moment the DM says "Sorry but this doesnt work" then that players feels robbed of his glorious moment and might get subborn. People should just tell their DM that they are planning this. "Hey DM, I was thinking about combining this magic item with this spell, and then when xyz happens then it blows up big time". This not only gives you confirmation from the DM, it also gives him an opportunity to set you up for this awesome moment. One great thing I did in my currently going Drakkenheim campaign was that I created a seperate groupchat with each of my friends that is Titled "DoD: Character Name" and anything regarding their character is discussed in their. It makes it easy for them to ask "Hey can me maybe make sure xyz is sorted out soon?" and i can keep track of it easily without Susans Waterpark trip pictures in the way.

[@MeMelster]

That would make things easier, but it also makes it a little less cool if you have told someone your secret mastermind move and you don't have that surprise moment anymore. Also, if the rules used are clear enough and the group agreed to play RAW then I, think it's fair to expect the DM to allow it and not homebrew their own rules on the spot.

[@maybevoldemort8995]

The most annoying thing I’ve seen is people removing other player’s agency by trying to control their character or cast spells that force them to do something on their turn. It makes players feel useless and gives off massive main character syndrome

[@nateleavy5189]

I’ve been the “why would I go on this quest? Why would my character care?” Player before, but it was because my DM had serially ignored my characters motivations. I also DM and I was so willing to work with him to come up with a narrative tie in for my characters backstory or something, but he consistently snubbed me. What sucked is he just liked the other players more. He resented me irl and took it out on me in game.

[@r-serpa]

"If it's something you'd see in a Marvel movie..." Deadpool just dropped a like 😂

[@richard_n]

Refusing to buy into the campaign always makes me scratch my head. Why in the heck are you even playing D&D to begin with?

[@user-fc7sv5ln6m]

So true about the things to keep your hands busy to help focus your mind - I was at a whole day corporate planning day where the facilitators supplied a huge stack of pipe cleaners in a wide variety of colours on each table, and explained a the start of the day that they were there for us to fiddle with so that we could concentrate. It worked very well, although I will never know what the design purpose was of the weird pipe cleaner constructs I made while not thinking about them.

[@CountryMusicMann]

My anecdote about not metagaming was in a friend's campaign, where we were playing Tyranny of Dragons, one of our group had created an artificer who wasn't really good in combat. It was a much more roleplay heavy character in a campaign where you really NEED characters that can hold their own in combat, especially as there were only three of us, I was playing a Hexblade, and the third was playing a sorcerer. When he accepted our advice to switch his character, he decided to switch to a Vengeance paladin, so we'd have a capable frontline fighter. The party was resting in a cave that was being used as a waystop for the cult of Tiamat (we had cleared out a side branch and were resting there). My warlock hears someone coming, so what does he do? Of course, he Mask of Many Faces up as a cultist, since it's much better odds that the person walking up is a cultist. That led to a hilarious interaction where the paladin had my warlock pinned against the wall, demanding to know where the other cultists were, and my warlock was not at all understanding that the paladin was not with the cult. Neither of us were willing to commit to an honest, frank discussion for a good couple of minutes; it was just a storm of half-truths, obfuscations, deflections, and demands until the paladin said something that made my warlock go, "Wait, you're not with the cult?" I as a player new the paladin wasn't an enemy, but by committing to what my character assumed, much jocularity was had by all present.

[@StupidButCunning]

As a perfectionist with ADHD, I especially identify with having unrealistic expectations. I need to learn to not have every single detail of my world etched to perfection before I'm willing to run something. I also have that issue where if a scene is dragging on, or if I find a specific aspect particularly boring, and I haven't been involved in any way for a while, I find myself distracted by other things in my environment or just my own thoughts.

[@trequor]

The most important thing to remember is that you are running a GAME. A lot of very creative DMs forget that aspect when telling their epic tale

[@StupidButCunning]

@@trequor Yes, and I do find it fun though it's not really my tale. Part of it is, for sure, but it's mostly the players' tale. I just endeavor to create a flawless, realistic world with continuity. To achieve this, I really need to up my note keeping skills, as well as my improv skills.

[@zarbonthedestroyer7232]

You guys are great! I've done a few of these things before, and i learned the hard way not to do then. I left my last campaign because they exhibited almost every problem you list here. I haven't played a game since 😔

[@katieisjoyful]

Thank you so much for this video! I would love to see another video about the importance of curating a group with the same playstyle and interests where everyone feels respected. My friend is DMing for the first time and doesn't understand why all of us friends can't just play together, despite the obvious (to me) differences in expectations and playstyle as well as one friend being a problem player who makes others miserable. The topic of group curation gets touched on in videos about problem players and session zero, but it never gets a video of its own - even a short one. I need something I can send to my DM. Thanks for your great content!

[@katieisjoyful]

To clarify: this is different than a video about finding players.

[@RocKaFella57]

Im SOOO caught up on Monty's first example of metagaming. Because out of all the examples he gave one of the player just saying a incorrect statement 😂😂😂. I feel like metagaming is more like you as a player know the other player is a rogue so you don't trust them telling you he is a priest. Even though he's healing (through a feat) and is constantly praying. And you call them out for being a spy etc. Now THAT is metagaming

[@Valbu]

The rogue in our actual campaign introduce themself as a merchant. After the first few sessions he was scammed by another merchant and almost crit-oneshotted a mid-boss with 25-30 damage when the avg was 12. Now the running joke during combats is yelling “do your merchant things!”

[@RocKaFella57]

@@Valbu That's amazing haha

[@Yandarval]

A point about DM ruling about how a spell or mechanic works. The DM must be consistent in it use.

[@TwilitbeingReboot]

One solution I find that helps me as a somewhat forgetful DM, and also seems to help put players at ease (works best on digital character sheets): add in clarifying text. If a decision markedly changes how someone thinks an ability works, making a note to clarify the change ensures that both player and DM remember what was decided. Examples: "When Fireball spreads around corners, its range is based on the length of the path the fire takes, not always a perfect circle from the point of origin." "If a magic item allows you to cast a spell as an action, you can use that magic item for an opportunity attack granted by War Caster." "The lump of brimstone conjured by this spell is a Small, irregularly shaped object with a soft and chalky consistency. It does not fill its square."

[@misslyntheena]

I was getting really frustrated as a player with my first group (we were playing Shadowrun) - one player was a leopard turned human who obviously loved to hunt and didn’t mind brutally killing the bad guys and then feeding them to the zombies we had befriended. The other player was a young, innocent character „I can’t be part of this group if you keep murdering like this“ and we were all like…. This is Shadowrun. If you’re character can’t deal with situations like these it’s going to disrupt the game flow and if the murder hobo type player can’t stop unnecessarily provoking the sweet PC then that’s just adding unneeded conflict over the table bc that’s when things got personal… it really sucked and the campaign kinda just ended then without anyone bringing it up again.

[@ChocolateFishBrains]

This would've been resolved with a session 0 to discuss boundaries and expectations.

[@andrebrynkus2055]

That kinda sucks. Too bad you couldn't work it out. The game even has things like the Boston rule. Somewhere in one of the books it mentioned that Shadowrunning in Boston is a bit different in that there's sort of a gentlemen's agreement that if a party tries to limit casualties that the wronged business will not seek much in the way of revenge. If your team is reckless, murderous, and over the top they will hunt you down for ruining it for everyone. With that sometimes the party polices itself.

[@belegur8108]

we once played 7th Sea and my character was an Usurian shapeshifter (something in the line of a rural raised naive Russian werebear ) and when in the middle of the campaign another player killed a beaten opponent in cold blood ( what was for that character a story arc completion and totally fine ). My take of my charakters morale was, that he would not condone such an action and consequently leave the group for his homelands... i created another character for the rest of teh campaign which the DM helped very much to fit in, giving me and our group fun times with my Eisen Greatsword Master ( a German knight with a very long blade if you will ) and i never looked back. My point is, if you have the right DM and group, there is always a way to stay true to one's character concept, even if that means to retire it.

[@SeaSaltSong]

The engagement one is so real. My group has all four of us with adhd. I set up a pile of fidget toys in the center of the table for us. I also recently a sketchbook because two of my players want to sketch things about their characters, and they were doing it in dry erase. This way they can keep it forever instead of wiping it lol

[@christianschmid1440]

In my field of working there is a term called 'servant leader' and I like that one a lot. It implies that the leader is not there to take charge, makes every decision, but he facilitates the team. He is the face in case someone wants to talk the team, he cares about the team members and enables them to do the best job possible.

[@Polouloubis]

Let me send that to my players to wreak havoc upon the discord server

[@pw3829]

Rules lawyer question: I feel like the most common situation I e come across this one is where a player has invested in a plan of action (either in combat or character development) based on a rule interpretation only to find out the DM has a different POV. Regardless of who I think is right, I feel pretty sympathetic to that person. Any tips for that specific situation?

[@tiffro]

For players: I'd give the guidance to always ask the DM and be honest about what your overall intentions are with a plan (it's not helpful to try to step by step walk the DM into a ruling where you're "tricking" them-- that's just unnecessarily adversarial). I think with experience playing you get a feeling for situations where the rules might be less clear, and you kind of know that you should just clarify it with the DM before you do that. For DMs: encourage your players to act as above, and don't be adversarial when they have cool plans, otherwise they won't be honest with you about their intentions. Try to interpret what they want to achieve, and even if their specific plan might not work with your rulings, maybe there's a way you can offer to them that they could achieve the same thing in a different way that does fit in your rulings. Also, if you're offering a "you can try" with a cool plan, be clear what the likelihood of success is, and what the consequences of failure will be. That way the player doesn't feel that you've ruled them into a disadvantageous situation. They get to make the choice with eyes open.

[@pw3829]

@@tiffro this is good advice.

[@belegur8108]

@@tiffro i am a DM/Player for more than 30 years and i approve this message 😇🤩

[@JasonSmith-cm3gv]

I've had this happen to me a few times as the DM, and I usually offer one of two potential compromises: 1. If the issue is significant, I'll just offer the player a replacement option (like a free respec or feat or boon that mostly provides what they want but in a less broken way) or 2. If the issue is more hypothetical, like if someone wants to play a summoner but I've had bad experiences with summoner PCs in the past that flood the battlefields with summons that gum up the game, or if someone wants to play a homebrew class, I'll straight up say that I'll allow it on a provisional basis subject to these concerns, but reserve the right to make changes if things get out of hand

[@maximiliantagher8290]

Re: the time traveling plasmoid: On Reddit I often find people are too quick to say “it’s the DM’s world you can say xyz doesn’t exist” as their solution I think you can often get a good resolution with reskinning (eg use the Minotaur race stats for a dwarf), or with just creativity. A time traveling plasmoid might not fit in CoS, but a human who was partially digested by an ooze, and somehow merged with them? A mad scientist’s experiment giving a man a body that can slough off and turn into goop, and reform itself? And they’ve been trapped in Strahd’s dungeon for 200 years and just got out, and occasionally provides some comic relief, like Jill’s food puns in the cosmic horror of drakkenheim? This starts to get into something you could work into a CoS campaign.

[@PDilling]

Thank you, for highlighting the fact that it's often the external social aspects that causes issues rather than the content of the story itself, I 100% agree with this and I also love that you are open to exchanging players for everyone's preference. I, personally, often find safety rules/tools to be dumb and/or condescending, but I have begrudgingly started to except their existence. I think one of my biggest problems with many of these rules/tools is the fact that they are often not written as a recommendation or a choice, but as a down-right requirement to even play the game, and that they always heavily favors people who are more sensitive, and forget to respect everyone else who don't have a problem with what is happening and just want to play the game, so hearing you bring up the fact that a player might just not fit into a group, be they one or the other, is a nuance I often feels is missing in the way these systems are often presented, where it's not whether a player fits into a game, but more just "play this way or you are evil". I also think one of the reasons why these things annoy me so much is because treating people badly is so far removed from who I am as a person, so I struggle to even fathom someone doing it to their fellow players. So even though I know that there are some terrible, or just extremely poorly socialized, people out there I can't help but find some of the ways these systems push these things to be condescending. Sorry for the rant, you guys are awesome, and I think that I'm not watching your content nearly as much as I should. =D

[@XenBass]

Safety tools are a good suggestion. I'm going to run a campsign soon-ish and I'll happily add these to session 0. I left a campaign semi-recently because the DM never disclosed being absolutely unwilling to discuss *any* sort of concern or worry any player had. I had to find that out the hard way; basically the DM getting annoyed amd telling me to leave if I don't like what he's doing. This included some odd choices on his part. Making my character a murderer as a cliffhanger, only to start session next time with "lol jk your victim is a flesh golem", while refusing to address my concerns privately for an entire week. Apparently I "seemed suicidal". I wasn't. My character didn't do anything like that, either. He flat out refused to allow me to use an ability my character had, saying it doesn't work that way. Yes, it does. Everyone I spoke to, including strangers, everywhere I read, I even asked on the D&D discord...all said the ability works like I thought it does. DM refused to acknowledge. He also took away all players' rolls for no reason. It didn't speed things up. His excuse was "to preserve the mystery"...all we did was check doors for traps. "But if you roll an 18 then that will influence your decisions vs if you didn't know whether or not the door is trapped" ...dude, if you don't want us to know, there has to be better ways than taking all of our rolls away. I brought that up, too. It was confusing for all of us DM just got really annoyed, again, because apparently he's the kind of person who absolutely can't handle anything that isn't positive or praise. Heavily hinted I should leave and that he didn't care of everyone else left too. The other players did nothing wrong there. I may have brought up a thing or two I wasn't happy with, but I don't think I'm the problem player. He wasn't willing to have a conversation about it like adults. Instead he got upset, blamed me for everything, and refused to speak to me any further. It would be weeks until we'd have next session due to holidays. I left. I don't want to play with that jerk anymore. Led to cutting ties with that group entirely, as they stopped talking to me as well, and kept canceling the sessions I was running for them (minus that DM), while they still had their sessions with him. Guess the DM must've talked shit about me. Whatever, though. I'm better off now. Point is, just be willing to talk to one another. Dusclose these kind of things, even if you aren't proud of them. I mean, the guy has been a DM for years. I do not believe that I'm the first and only player to *ever* bring up a concern, in a polite fashion. This couldn't have been a surprise for him. He just never told us and we'd find out by trying to talk and get shut down with basically "shut up and roll with it, or else just fucking leave". Yes, the DM gets the final say. Sure. But does this include taking away rolls and abilities for no real reason, and then I'm not allowed to try and have a discussion about it? I don't think so. If he could give me a reasonable explanation for why he did these things, ok, fair enough. But he refused to talk about it at all. I do not think "shut up and deal with it, or else" is a healthy attitude for a DM to have. It depends on context, but players are not necessarily "wrong" for having a discussion about it after session, and the DM doesn't always get a free pass just for being the DM.

[@trequor]

The problem with safety tools is that they are easily abused. Not only that, but some of the worst kinds of players are drawn to abuse them. It's just another problem for the table.

[@whoismyult]

In regards to boundaries, my perspective differs a bit from Monty's observations about most issues being out-of-game, player interaction issues. Rather, I have experienced DMs and other players using real-world racist troupes and stereotypes (including offensive voice patterns) in-game, or using the fantasy setting to be able to exercise in-game their mean-spirit and hate towards people who are different than them. Sometimes it has been shocking, enough to make me feel unsafe. So my hope is that DMs also consider not just the degree of violence and adult content at their table, and what their players are comfortable with, but that everyone around the table considers the representation of various communities.

[@werin407]

Thank you for this video! I really appreciate section on social boundaries between players - I hadn't considered that before but in one of the games I play in about half of the table drinks while the other half doesn't and it can be really uncomfortable for those of us who don't drink. I'm not sure how to begin addressing this (especially since DM also drinks) but it's validating to hear that it's a boundary we can have as players.

[@drewfrankenberg6473]

As someone who was very guilty of bossing players around, I have found that playing characters that are much more suited for follower positions (i.e. characters that are socially awkward or naive) and really dig into them, it helps so much.

[@Zaximillian]

I like this approach. Sometimes nerfing your projection into a character forces a player to use different colors to flesh that character out. It's a challenge, but it's rewarding.

[@ColinKillick]

These are all excellent, and I think Monty's point about how most cases of players feeling unsafe are about people acting creepily is really important. The only one I would gently push back on is contradicting the DM; if they're deviating from the published rules *in a way that makes your character non-viable* --something like "you have to be hidden to get Sneak Attack" or "you can't cast any spells while you're concentrating"--then I think it's appropriate to politely say something to the effect of "I understand this is your table, but if we play with things that way it's going to make it difficult for my character to work. Could we do this by the book just for this session, and then talk afterwards about whether I need to make a different character?"

[@angojones3713]

I've encountered the reverse of the "Failure to Buy-in" where the DM tried to force me to play Ravenloft, knowing that I had _no interest whatsoever_ in playing in that setting. The threat was "If you wont play in this campaign, you're not allowed to play any games run at my house." I had no fun, and I'm sure I made everyone else's experience worse for my lack of enthusiasm. That was the second to last straw for me. When another GM in that group of friends had a genocide committed against the elves in his world because they were my favorite race to play, and another player confirmed that was the reason in an online post that was not meant for my eyes, I was done. Couldn't even have an honest conversation with me and say "Hey, like every other character you make is an elf, why don't you branch out?" I'd rather _not play at all_ than play with people who are going to treat me like that.

[@samuelcauser4738]

I'm so excited, I just got my Sebastian Crowe's guide! They have made it to Australia. Beautiful book and maps, great GM screen, minis and cards are excellent quality! Thank you dudes 🎉

[@sephfcuoctasphere1978]

I LOVE YOU GUYS! I have learned so much and have applied so much of what you have shared in our game. Thank you!!!

[@nickkirsch163]

Oh man, the WORST player I have ever DM'd for is a guy who would spotlight hog and generally NOT be a team player. In 2nd edition, he would routinely throw fireball and other AOE spells into the melee without ANY consideration for the other party members. In an effort to salvage the party dynamic, I allowed the players to find or purchase accessories that afforded them some protection. Specifically things like an amulet of protection from Elven magic (the guy played an elf wizard). I had THOUGHT this would be generally appreciated, but instead this player gets really upset that all the other players are equipping to be resistant specifically to HIM... Honestly though, I was already aware this was a problem player at much lower level when he ignored the actual plothooks and instead went looking for unscripted trouble. At level 1, after I had provided the main plot hook for the campaign, he immediately went outside, asked to find the town square, asked to find a post board asking for adventuring parties. I figured I'd give him a couple good low level one off quests and something that we could pick up later. Specifically a dragon lair that had been discovered for a red dragon that had been terrorizing a neighboring kingdom. I figured SURELY a level 1 wizard wouldn't be so stupid as to think they could handle a DRAGON! I was wrong, he immediately latched on to that and practically dragged the entire party there. Actively ignored several signs that this was NOT safe such as the remains of high level knights burned to a crisp outside the dungeon. And when the rest of the party took the hint, he went on in anyway. He repeatedly bragged about how good he was at dungeons and promptly fell for 3 obvious traps in a row. The cleric went in, healed him up, then went back out to rest and he kept just going right back in. Finally I allowed him to find a bit of treasure. A Crown of Brilliance! Except when he put it on without a thorough identification, it transformed into the beanie of idiocy, a cursed hat that convinced the wearer that it was in fact a crown of brilliance and anyone who tried to tell him otherwise was just jealous. It gave him -5 wisdom until the curse could be removed. I will give him credit though, he DID roleplay his character fully believing that had was amazing and it stayed with him until a remove curse was cast on him for an unrelated purpose. Otherwise though, a thoroughly miserable player to have in the party and the fun we had with that campaign was in spite of his presence.

[@TeslaandDragons]

I normally DM, so when I got to play I love to RP my character, but I always worry I am a spot light hog. One thing that is great in the Travelers game is my character rolled in his background that he was a shop captain. It only makes sense for a former captain to engage the crew to get the best person to address the specific problem they are facing. It is part of his character to share the spotlight.

[@jAfr0Thunder86]

I love this video guys. Thanks. It actually taught me some things I’ve done wrong in the past and things I’ve done that were perfectly okay but I had been unsure about them.

[@GoldfishEmpire]

I love that the image used in the thumbnail for this video is Slaughterstone Square.

[@Elleina1907]

Really wonderfully informative content, as always! Have you guys done a video already where you talk about safety tools for D&D? I'm really intrigued by that concept and would love to know more. I'm very new to the game, I'm neurodivergent, AND I'm shy, so having a variety of options to express myself is most welcome, and I'm very curious about what is available for safety tools.

[@jessy5241]

I’m playing in a Tyranny game and I decided to let my hexblade warlock walk away on a different mission because I wasn’t feeling like she was adding to the story. I’m now playing a monk that has more buy-in to the plot. I’ve also noticed it’s been easier on the DM to engage my character as well.

[@Albatross0913]

i would love to see a full-length video on some of these, thanks as always for the great content

[@MombaTrout]

I appreciate how honest you guys are, as a new player to dungeons and dragons it makes me feel a lot better about small mistakes I’ve made here and there.

[@electronsmove]

We frequently derailed campaigns into total chaos. We were impossible to plan. We played with full freedom, but we knew that, and we all were in on it as a big inside joke. Often, we would solve the whole "big issue" of the day in the first hour then we would free play for the rest of the weekend. More often than not we became enemies of the local government and were forced to leave and never return. Of course, we always went back.

[@jaredlocke4300]

It's so good to hear you guys talk about this so candidly. I could have been right there with you talking about this 😂 I too am a DM who likes games ran a certain way, so I DM more than I play.

[@remiwelch6234]

Really loving these longer format videos!

[@SunLovinSolaire]

Me and most of my players are also DM’s. And a thing that we end up doing is asking if a creature is vulnerable to a damage type immediately after we hit it with said damage type. An example we had just yesterday we fought a mummy and one of the players hit it with Necrotic Damage, which it was immune to, and then it was hit with Fire. To which I asked “aren’t mummies vulnerable to fire?” To which he responded: “Maybe.”

[@RronKarahoda]

I'm getting back into the game and have been appreciating and enjoying your advice across this and other videos! Regarding the time-travelling plasmoid example, I'm of the inclination that as DM, I'd probably ask the player and the table if they'd be willing to work with me to make their backstory and motivation fit into the campaign. For example, I might have suggested that their plasmoid comes from a far future shaped by Straad winning, and where plasmoids are used as advanced blood sacs for vampires. If they're a pirate, maybe they're stealling and freeing other plasmoids from vampire control. Here's the idea: You've come to the past by accident when escaping from your vampire tormentors, and you only vaguely know that this is an important point in history, but not much else. Now the adventure has this sense of importance to it, and the player has the fun flaw of being a most enticing treat for every vampire in the area. I forsee a fun tension being whether the player's character becomes the inspiration for vampires targeting plasmoids in the future? Again, I'd want the whole table to be down with this before moving forward, but that's the point, communication and negotiation are key to coming up with fun for the whole group!

[@Qriator]

I want to relate a story that was my very last time being a DM, decades ago, because I felt guilty about it. In hindsight, it was exactly as Monte said, it was a player interaction issue I had no idea about and my simple bar fight to get my players into a scuffle ended up triggering a young woman’s memories of being a sexually assaulted… by one of the other players at the table. After she shut down and stopped playing, the session petered out, she confided in me what had happened. I hadn’t come into direct contact with trauma like this before and wanted to help-but she absolutely did not want anyone running our college to know, and she knew what would probably happen if she took this issue to the authorities. Call me a realist or a pessimist, but I had to admit she was right. That killed the entire adventure, and I think it put me off of being a DM. I am hoping to get back to it soon, many decades later, but the stuff they are talking about in this video is real and we players and DMs need to take it seriously. I wish I had resources like Kelly and Monte make back then. Maybe I would have felt less guilt and gotten back on the horse afterward.

[@user-th8bn5mk4q]

Great video guys im amazed how many problems ive had dming at the table and sometimes im amazed how serious we take a game i think we forget it is just a game and kelly saw in the comments you lost your mom so sorry for your loss

[@2011multisam]

I was playing a game with my ex as another player, the DM stepped away during an encounter to get his daughter back to bed and she said "I'm just gonna check how much health this thing has" I didn't want to be the one to say that she was cheating due to our past but the DM wasn't there and no one else said anything, I talked to her in private later but in the moment I was so disappointed because it meant that I knew that she had that knowledge in front of her during the encounter which took the tension away

[@EstariaValens]

I had a weird situation with the "spotlight hog" situation, last year. I was in a group, and no one ever talked. So I set up a situation to turn the spotlight on two of the other players. One to set up a festival about the other player's efforts to establish a deity. They spent 2 hours gleefully discussing the festival, and I loved it. They were shining, I was out of the spotlight, and everyone seemed really happy. They kicked me from the group for being a spotlight hog, after that session. :(

[@trublgrl]

Almost all of these great points has a corollary or opposite that is also bad player behavior. Not playing collaboratively is bad, but playing by committee, and never making a move based on your character, but only on group consensus is also bad. Not buying into the campaign is bad, but just letting the DM lead you by the nose through the story takes away your own contribution to the game. One thing I find is, rather than stealing the spotlight, no one in one of my campaigns ever WANTS the spotlight, no one wants to take the lead in an NPC interaction, or decision making. There's ultimately no "right" way to play. The trick is to take yourself out of the game and see the table, the players, the group, and do what is best for everyone.

[@starblaiz1986]

Regarding the unrealistic expectations particularly around world lore and plot holes - people need to remember that CR have a literal person they EMPLOY FULL TIME whose job title is literally "Lore Keeper" (Danny Carr) 😅. The cast and even Matt himself frequently turn to her for reminders about details about the world and NPC's etc. So yeh, your average home game is DEFINITELY going to have some plot holes and inconsistancies and retcons 😅

[@JimyRoze]

I forgot to mark a spell slot once and ended up double smiting both at 3rd level and did 100 damage on the dot. I noticed and messaged the dm on the side. He let it go. The boss healed all the damage over the next couple rounds anyway.

[@gerbenwierda9683]

a good tip on being prepared is making standing decisions - basically prepare with a couple of "in this situation I will do this". Refining those over time (experience) may help a lot.

[@Satyxes]

Where I take umbrage with the thought of the "everybody knows how to kill a vampire" analogy is that in our fictional depictions of them (books, film, series, games, etc...) what actually kills a vampire and what they can do can vary wildy. I, both as a player and a DM, tend to use variations of these 'knowledges' to reflect how fallible and fraught with incorrect information this 'common knowledge' can be (Some of my character use fire against trolls, other have bags of salt on hand and are VERY surprised when that doesn't work, for example). Heck, just ask a player who played through various editions of D&D whether or not they need a cold iron, silver, magical or elemental weapon to harm a certain enemy and you'll probably see that confusion of 'common lore' in full effect.

[@Kurgosh1]

Refusing to follow the adventure hook _can_ be a player problem, but it can also be a DM problem. Some adventure hooks just suck. I recall one adventure where we start in the stereotypical tavern, but the adventure hook was that the fireplace mantle had a magic mouth that gave us orders to run a random errand. What? Since when is it my responsibility as a player to make a character who takes orders from random pieces of masonry?

[@AmberMetallicScorpion]

regarding the time traveling plasmoid personally plasmoid is one of my favourite races, but i also understand that as it is, it wouldn't fit into most campaigns. which is why often times i try to reflavour it. maybe it's just a regular slime given sentience, maybe it's a water elemental from the plane of water that wanted a change of scenery, maybe it is that spelljammer plasmoid, but it got stranded in that setting without any of its tech or anything. but in all of these cases the important thing to do is to work with the DM to say "hey. this is the kind of character i want to play, i know that at base it may not work with your campaign. what can i change to keep my vision for them, while still having them fit within your campaign?"

[@TheAzulon]

There is one thing that I like to point about widespread information - We live in a world where information is shared easily, but in medieval times (which D&D try to emulate) most people didn't even know how to read. Yeah, the local priest might tell about ghosts and vampires, and popular stories might be told to put children to sleep, but a lot of th\at information is incomplete of even wrong. You could tell your players (if they are playing les expeienced characters) that somethings they know are wrong using that fact.

[@michaelwilliams6195]

When my team starts meta gaming, I start asking questions like, “Is your character smart enough to come to this conclusion?” “Is your character wise enough to understand the implications of your actions?” If they insist, I make them roll things like investigation, or an appropriate roll.

[@jackoholic0412]

had a campaign end in less than 1 hour into session one. it was the dm's first try at doing his own campaign, the player who caused it played a monk with a drinking problem, we started in a tavern my backstory had me working as the bouncer for the bar, the monk then randomly attacked my characters boss knocking her out. which starts a large bar fight and made it pretty hard to find a way that we would travel together for any reason (and the monk didnt try to make one). right after we came up with a reason that sucked the least we got a quest to kill some monsters causing the town problems. the monk then decided he was done for the day and said he had to leave for some reason. then he asked the dm to play a different online game 10 minutes later.

[@jollyrogers408]

I have massive amounts of anxiety and communication withdrawal from ADHD and Autism and also just trauma. I've been interested in trying to play D&D, or any ttrpg, for years, but I don't have the ability to talk to people in as free flowing a way that these games need (not mechanically, but as a person, just trying to figure out how to talk to another person at the table and assert my choices without feeling like I'm being shot down all the time that I end up shutting down all the time). Like, I'm already roleplaying a functioning person and then I have to roleplay a character in a game with all of these questions and consequences when I don't get it right, on top of roleplaying a functioning person at the same time. I've been searching for more than a year for tips on just how I can work on this and play and this was, honestly, the first video that I've seen that actually addresses some of my concerns and is helping me reframe a little bit already about what I would actually want to see in a table and a game. I don't think enough people actually talk about things like a session zero on every session, which might not be needed for those tables, but that is something that feels better for me and just knowing that it's possible if you find the right people is comforting, since it's safer and limits the stretch of social interpretation that has to be done when you just can't be sure that what's being communicated as intended. Seriously, I paused many times through and realized a lot of these things would help me. Idk when I'll be able to, but I think this is going to help me actually try to play if I can find a table or an online game. I subbed for this reason, thanks

[@SilverionX]

My golden rule of TTRPGs: It's everyone's job, including the DM, to make sure everyone is having as much fun as possible, including the DM. The main tool to accomplish this is mature discussions at the appropriate time and session zero, session zero, session zero. Setting the right expectations and stating your deal breakers are crucial for having a fun game. I've been playing TTRPGs for nearly 30 years now and I've seen and made most of the mistakes mentioned here. I've gotten better and I still have plenty of work in several areas, but I'm making progress. As someone with super ADD, I especially relate to that conversation. I don't know if I can do much about it other than knowing I simply can't do anything on the side because I'm going to get completely distracted. I'm not gonna read, watch KZbin, listen to music or anything like that when driving, so I'm not gonna do it when I play TTRPGs. Sometimes I get distracted anyways (at the table, not when I'm driving) and that's where my friends will just have to cut me some slack. It's tough having a discussion about problem behaviors with people who are hopefully your friends but neither you or they will get better unless it happens. You can't fix something you don't know about.

[@ChryssaBL]

I appreciate the insight into your recording process. At least one of the few valid reason I passed on a really cool offer is crossed off.

[@N0Name_btw]

Great video and advice dudes! Especially on working with the party and other people at the table to avoid these. Just one thing. The example with the goblin boss for metagaming is kinda hard to avoid though. if you know how much hit points the monster usually has, you can't just forget that information. Someone pointing out that the monster has more hit points than usual or that it "should have" isn't a great example. Was pointing it out necessary? Probably not. But it certainly isn't "catching them metagaming".

[@youtubewatcher9469]

I only play, never DM, but I keep track of damage and misses/hits in combat so I can determine what a monster's AC and HP are using information from the game as we play. It helps with resource management and action economy. My DM also gives clues during combat describing the monster's injuries and I've learned what she means ("It doesn't look very good" means the monster is at 1/4 of its HP, for example). My DM knows I do this, and I'm not secretive about it. Some players call it metagaming, but it's not, and my DM says it's fine.

[@thelordstarfish]

"Failure can be just as fun as your successes" That came up in the most recent session I was playing in (where incidentally we were playing Dungeons of Drakkenheim so... hi), where my Bard got hit by Feeblemind and failed his saving throw against it... I spent the rest of the session fully committing to the bit of playing a guy who basically was running purely on base instincts and could neither speak nor reason. We even flavored it once when we ran into some monsters in the city that they heard us because my Bard was basically just wailing like a baby over some random inconvenience. Granted, it was much easier to commit to this bit for me being that I've kinda always played my character as the resident Comic Relief, like, even when he's *sane* he's generally on the silly side.

[@alexanderpitman9433]

When the DM gets mad when the character needs to roll a 20 to hit the monster, or that even rolling a 20 won't hit, or that my hits can't get past the monster's damage resistance. Then doing something else rather than fighting the monster because I refused to just soak damage for the other players. Funniest moment of this was when fighting a Lamia, my Deuragar Monk spent much of the battle under an invisibility spell and gathering up the loot into five large chests that I tied together with a length of rope. The other players were getting thrashed as they faught for their lives and somehow got the boss monster to take the battle over the side of the tall tower to the base. Meanwhile, I get done gathering the treasure together and push the chests over the side right before the Adventurers are about to die. Rolled a 20 to hit and confirmed with another 20 roll. Let's just say that five chests weighing a hundred pounds each will do a heck of a lot of damage after falling a hundred feet to the ground. The Lamia was turned into a smear, and the characters got pelted with coins from the shattered chests... years later, I still sometimes chuckle at the memory.

[@catkittycatcatkittycatcatcat]

I highly recommend taking notes, especially if you have trouble focusing. Not just becuase the notes are helpful, but the act of taking them (forcing yourself to put the concepts into words then writing or typing those words) will do a ton both to help you focus on what’s happening and remember it without even having to look at your notes.

[@corbyrobinson3640]

Seeing a locked door and realizing there must be a way to get past it (switch, lever or key) isn't metagaming. That is reasonable game play. Who, even the most powerful wizard, would put a door in their home that they themselves would only be able to open through the use of a particular spell? If I, as the bad guy, have a stronghold to hold, or a secret to protect the last thing I would want to do is waste a spell slot... or if you are disintegrating the door and remaking it 2 spell slots on the simple task of walking through an opening in a wall. Also of course knowing a monster's AC isn't meta gaming (it doesn't actually change the game at all because you still have to roll.)

[@flutterc4t458]

One reward i love to give out of good roleplaying is for example if there is a clearly more experienced adventurer npc they cross their path with the might share some of their wisdoms with them like what might be hurting some monster more than usual or what instead does not even make them flinch.

[@antharias5369]

So, for about 15 years now I have been a DM and learnt a lot. I was going to say some things but got distracted with My Little Pony and wanting to run that as a campaign with that. I have dealt with all that you have brought up when it comes to games. I am helping to mentor a new DM and a lot of what you have said has been relayed to him as they are all valid points. And as a DM, you are the supreme authority. It is going to sound hard but losing a player because they are being an ass, is worth it. I can replace a player (not to diminish their value) but it will be better for the group to be down that player, you adjust and when they come back, you get to throw trolls at them at their full power. Session 0 is critical. It sets the tone of my world. I have had players who will not join my world as I run with themes that are very uncomfortable to most people but at the same time, my group of players (who just finished their session 0), are happy with what I put them through (I pushed the limits and nobody cracked so it will be toned down a bit as I could see a player was a little weirded out but as a DM, I just won't push them into that environment very often). I just needed to see what the players were like, whether they could handle a very brutal world, whether they could handle the pressure and see what they can do. Thank you for bringing up those boundaries. That was one of the biggest parts of your video and I agree, the gore and violence does not seem to push them too far and logically, you avoid certain topics. The primary and secondary rules that I run with are: In game, my word is final (happy to listen if I mess the rules up) and secondly, no real world shit hits my table. If you need to talk about it, I will offer to speak to you afterwards and if I notice this at the table, I will end the session as per normal and then pull the person aside to talk to them as we are just humans the world exists. I have a 10 countdown rule. If I start hearing umm and aaah, when they have had all the time since their previous turn in combat to do something, I bring up both hands, and start counting down the numbers. I know it may seem harsh but again, we are not in kindergarten (pre-school) any more and you have had to make decisions in life to survive so, knowing two pages of character sheet is something, that in combat, should be close to memorised. Session 0 is difficult with that but once I hit the next session, I need you to know what you are doing. Otherwise everybody else sits there and gets bored waiting for you to think about things. For the phone matter, as I do not allow electronic dice at the table, and I am happy to print the character sheets for them to use, I see no reason for you to be on your phone and phones are not to be touched. I have a character with their character sheet on a tablet but I force them to have physical dice (both are easily manipulatable) but it also cuts down on a reason for them to have their phone with them. I laid this out as a ground rule. We all know you never text during an emergency. You always call. Phone calls in the evening are normally always an emergency so it also does not give them any reason to be on their phones. DnD is social and one of the best reasons to interact with people, hold conversations and step away from their online lives. Sorry about long post. 🥔

[@gupdoo3]

I'm also an ADHDer guilty of losing track of the game and not knowing what to do and the fact that I also have a slow mental processing speed does NOT help. One campaign my mom and I were in together, she pulled me aside during combat when it wasn't our turns and helped me figure out what I was going to do next so I wasn't scrambling during my turn and that tactic has helped immensely (she even drew a flowchart for me to reference lol). I try to be a little more independent in my decision making at conventions bc it's not always feasible or fair to ask a total stranger to handhold me but sometimes I'm still guilty of this (thankfully Pathfinder players are some of the nicest roleplayers ever and have overall been super helpful when I need help)

[@aldrinvendt8524]

My own personal story about boundary crossing happened in my 3rd ever dnd session. I was playing a halfling monk, and the DM had probably had too much to drink. But he thought it would be entertaining? or motivate us? I don't know but he had his necromancer pin down my halfling with a ridiculously high strength check and then proceeded to rape my character. I didn't play dnd for 4 months after that session. Oddly enough though, it did motivate me to be the DM for the next time I played, and I've been the regular DM of my local group here, so alls well that ends well. But sheesh that was just too much.

[@petersmythe6462]

"there must be a way to open it." Me, the DM, expecting the door will be bypassed or ignored without being opened and literally having no clue what is immediately behind it: