Terrible Animated Lovecraft Movies for Kids (Yes, Really...) | Cynical Reviews

[@CynicalReviews]

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[@makairidah8354]

Dude were did you got th at chtulu hat

[@whitemagus2000]

I hate to rain on your parade, but Abdul Alhazred was a pseudonym of Lovecraft. Something of a tribute to his childhood love of the 1001 Arabian Nights. So whitewashed isn't really accurate. You could call it cultural appropriation, a century before that was a term anyone had invented. The best thing about judging historical figures by modern morality is that they all are found wanting. So racist Lovecraft ends up in the same ash heap as racist Mark Twain, racist Abraham Lincoln, and racist Gandhi. Yay

[@monkeykidd420]

@@makairidah8354 look on etsy

[@greenhowie]

Seamless ad transition, top tier

[@goatymcgoatface3575]

Have you actually read 4 or more Lovecraft novels? I honestly think he is extremely over rated. All of his novels that I've read have always left me wanting. I get that the point is humans can't comprehend the true horror/ leaving the ending more or less open to the imagination makes it more terrifying but to me it just seems lazy. Writing a satisfying and good ending to any story is probably the hardest part of any story. An ending where every detail of the story is important and every set up is paid off take an amazing amount of time and effort. Examples are count of monte Cristo, voices of the fire, glass castles, and for TV shows one that comes to mind with an incredible perfect ending is code Geas. Lovecraft endings, or at least the novels I read never had an ending like this. Let me know please. I always wanted to discuss on this with someone

[@RealJohnnyAngel]

Courage the Cowardly Dog is lovecraftian horror for kids, but good.

[@Milky_Mercy]

I’d rather watch Courage and give myself nightmares tbh. At least the nightmares from Courage would be worth it

[@comyuse9103]

return the slaaaaaab

[@matilde_5]

_Return the slab..._ That episode haunted me for so long, I had so many nightmares about it-

[@GrandORdEr40]

@@comyuse9103 or suffer my cuuurse

[@juliankirby9880]

@@comyuse9103 RAMSES!!! The man in gauze, the man in gauze!

[@varto07]

Fun fact, i worked in this movie. Actually in Kingdom of madness, the third movie. Although "work" is not really the word for what we did. We spent most of the time arguing with Arcana about technical issues. We were actually hired by a spanish company that was hired by Arcana, so you can imagine the communication problem there. In the end we were tasked to animate around 15 minutes of the entire movie and to this day i really don´t want to check if they even used our work at all.

[@morale.9330]

Which scenes in particular were you guys involved with?

[@varto07]

@@morale.9330 I animated a scene where Howard and his uncle/future self are talking whle travelling on a zeppelin. Half of the takes were not used because the character i was given turned out to be the wrong one (it was the uncle, but it was not renderable, technical stuff). Also i was given a scene where Howard escaps to a balcony and then falls, but i was told they didn´t used half of what i did. Again, for technical reasons.

[@eliasjakemoran6434]

You absolute legends

[@takashi.mizuiro]

wow

[@Craudio171]

I also did some works for Arcana a few years ago and I am well aware of their carelessness you mentioned.

[@PossumReviews]

I found the second movie at Dollar Tree.

[@genericname2747]

Imagine paying money to see these movies

[@MrPobanz]

If this isn't my favourite garbage seeking KZbin mammal! I expect a review than.

[@PossumReviews]

@@MrPobanz I already reviewed it a year ago.

[@advictoriamsshitposts8689]

I fucking knew you'd be here!

[@richardbeaudangles2559]

I was hoping to take a peak into a possum's home, good day

[@salt8044]

Imagine a 7 year old watching this and then going through a goth phase.

[@Caffeinated_Bard]

south park

[@p3chv0gel22]

Imagine a 7 year old watching this, reading lovecraft and be like: "What even was that crap, i watched?"

[@scudthedisposableassasin1775]

Ugghhhhh please don't make me think about it

[@sarascott201]

When I was around 4 or 5 I became obsessed with the adams family (this was my autistic special interest at the time) and wanted to be Wednesday or a goth princess or some shit so for 2 years straight I only wore floor length black velvet dresses and black lipstick. The photos from that era of my life are shocking to look at to say the least considering I wouldn't smile and stared into the camera like there wasn't anything behind my eyes lol

[@PetitTasdeBoue]

To be fair you have almost all the cartoon movies from Laïka (Coraline, Paranorman...), Tim Burton (Frankenweenie, Jack), the Adams Family, so many many cartoons about monsters from Hotel Transylvania and Happy Family to The Suicide Shop (not really for kid tho but lol). Damn you even have entire series like Monster High.

[@NattyNuke]

Who looks at Lovecraft’s work and says, “Yes, this is for children.”

[@wanderingoryx3710]

Twitter

[@LordSandwich27]

@@wanderingoryx3710 Judging by his views I would rather guess the Parler would think this

[@Gilgaemesh]

Probably a big fan showing it to his kids.

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

Those of us who grew up in the 80s

[@ethangellman4563]

Hacks

[@hunterfox6176]

"Cthulhu, this is Sara. Sara, Cthulhu. Cthulhu here eats reality, and Sara once ate a whole chicken. I watched, it was amazing." This has no right to be as funny as it is.

[@JonathanThe501st]

Hey, good line delivery can save a bad line. Half of what Ash Williams says can be total cringe if not for Bruce Campbell's S-tier performance.

[@TheBonkleFox]

Legitimately the phrasing and delivery belongs in Phineas & Ferb, not this pile of crap.

[@tultsi93]

What does he even mean with that? Did he get sexual satisfaction by watching his wife eating a whole chicken?!

[@raspberrycrowns9494]

@@tultsi93 You are reading way into it

[@mazadancoseben4818]

@@raspberrycrowns9494 , he should. That is what makes it good

[@nateds7326]

"Cthulhu for kids" sounds like a throw away in cards against humanity.

[@TylerJayWalker]

I thought it was for kids

[@alinastanescu4430]

Also against Cthulhu

[@wheatleythe_bigmoron_1179]

@@alinastanescu4430 wtf

[@cursingtomcat3713]

I think I actually got that card once, but it was worthless compared to Help my son has become a mf sorcerer!

[@dinglebees]

Kill me.

[@nalinea18]

The kids are never too young to be sacrificed to the Great Old Ones!

[@babygotbackpains2290]

you right

[@boxface6485]

If their age is on the clock, the great ones can absorb their inner being!

[@babygotbackpains2290]

@@boxface6485 took the words out my soul

[@davidbosy4275]

Does Cthulhu even take sacrafices? I mean, from what I have heard, he views humans about the same way humans view insects. He steps on them. Doesn't care about them. Do you think there are germophobe great old ones that are afraid of humans like germophobe humans are afraid of insects?

[@babygotbackpains2290]

@@davidbosy4275 yea

[@FireroseNekowolf]

Sure, near the end it's brought up how Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, and Azathoth show up and nobody is driven mad by seeing them, but the bigger deal here is... *Azathoth* shows up. Y'know, the one where it's insinuated we're all part of its dreams and should it ever awaken then all of realities and existence itself will cease to be.

[@enderkatze6129]

I Wonder what the Azathoths Life is Like in it's Universe. Like, does He get up, groan, have breakfast, Dress, and Go to His boring 9-5 that He hates?

[@darklord884]

@@enderkatze6129 Technically, he is also a part of this universe that he created in his dreams. So he is there, just always sleeping, kinda like Cthulhu. Though he does turn and snore, which causes all kinds of shit to happen in our universe supposedly.

[@enderkatze6129]

@@darklord884 yes but that doesn't answer what's it Like for him in His awake Life

[@darklord884]

@@enderkatze6129 Well because his awake life is emptiness. Eternal abyss with nothing but his own mind's creation. At least in this world. There are interpretations however, that Azathoth is the reader who brings these stories to life through their imagination. In that sense, you know as much about Azathoth as yourself.

[@ravennevermore8247]

The issue isn't that Azathoth is there, it's that the flutes and drums aren't.

[@andusz5518]

"C'thulu here eats reality, while Sarah once ate a whole chicken." actually made my monke brain laugh

[@elot5146]

yeah, it was actually kinda funny. too bad for the context

[@ironnoah9461]

The "I watched it, and it was amazing!" line was the icing on the cake for me

[@frankisnot1148]

I think the delivery is what sold this line for me tbh, because when i read it to myself it's like. Okay. But when that dude did it, it was absolutely hysterical lmao

[@goldenyam3010]

It is legitimately funny

[@another-niko-pfp-holder]

timestamp please?

[@PossumReviews]

21:41, Nyarlathotep was voiced by Doug Bradley, who played Pinhead in the Hellraiser movies.

[@VoxisProductions]

I love that guy.

[@HappyCynic]

How the mighty have fallen.

[@aligatorterminator8277]

POSSUM?!

[@Milky_Mercy]

That makes me sad

[@hellishhybrid1839]

@@VoxisProductions What the hell is this, a cynical and jaded critics convention?! Just kidding, love you ya senile old shit.

[@krashandburn]

Your child is never to young to talk about their lord and saviour, Cthulhu.

[@estebanperez2557]

We all need to make time for him

[@krashandburn]

@Julen Artano Garin it's not in my name, it's a members badge

[@krashandburn]

@Julen Artano Garin yeah when you've joined for a while you get a badge. It changes depending on how long you've stayed

[@kevinmorrice]

cthulhu, the one true hentai

[@mr.scarecrow5544]

@@kevinmorrice Okay, that's were I draw the line

[@senbrandybuck4492]

“Sarah once ate a whole chicken. I watched. It was amazing.” God I wish I was as cool as Sara.

[@wyntertheicewyvern6226]

I wonder though... was it like a full cooked rotisserie kind of chicken that she ate in one sitting? Or did she eat a live chicken whole?

[@pancake_crab4457]

@@wyntertheicewyvern6226 ^ asking the real questions.

[@zombieguy4444]

That’s probably the best intentional joke in the movies

[@inyrui]

that was honestly pretty funny

[@WillieManga]

I could do that, as long as he meant rotisserie.

[@Retrosteampunk]

I don’t mind macabre things turned cute, if they have dark humor. Like Lenore the cute little dead girl, invader zim and so on

[@darklord884]

I recommend the anime titled Haiyore: Nyaruko-san. It's set in a world where Nyarlathotep is a silver-haired girl who protects the world from invading aliens. It's hilarious and has tons of subtle references to the actual mythos characters.

[@esotericschizoidoccultconjurer]

@@darklord884 Is it currently available on Crunchyroll?

[@darklord884]

@@esotericschizoidoccultconjurer Not in my country, but I'm not in the U.S. so it could just be me. A quick Google search should help though.

[@maltssie7864]

@@darklord884 I mean, quite a few of the references are about as subtle as a brick to the face in a typhoon. Still, fantastic series. Hilarious as fuck.

[@darklord884]

@@maltssie7864 Sure, but it has tons of subtle references too.

[@dittodude6569]

Isn't lovecraftian horror meant to be read due to the fact that his monsters are so indescribably gruesome that a single glance will send you into spiraling into madness and then if so HOW IS THIS KID JUST RIDING ON HIS BACK LIKE A GODDAMN HORSE

[@themostbritishpersonalive868]

According to Lovecraft himself he's a descent of cthulu but like real distantly to the point where even some of the less human looking entities in his bloodline aren't even considered god's and where was I going with this

[@shikitohno1756]

I mean even in lovecraftian works, for some of the more ridiculous ones, some of there WERE used as servants by some characters. Then again the end results weren't pretty

[@itsathing3369]

@@themostbritishpersonalive868 no no no no no that was a joke between him and his friends, he made a latter to them, which had the family tree that they joke about, but he never sent the letter, it was found by the lovecraft historical Society

[@themostbritishpersonalive868]

@@itsathing3369 interesting

[@itsathing3369]

@@themostbritishpersonalive868 I meant to say Lether instead of leather, Sorry.

[@wartrix6046]

Lovecraft: Nihilistic, Dark, Existentially Terrifying Sounds like the perfect children's movie

[@MforMovesets]

You forgot racist. Incredibly racist.

[@PIB2000]

Yes, the man who inspired other famous children's authors like Stephen King and Junji Ito.

[@notmyrealname1526]

I mean, Watership Down and Grave of the Fireflies is "for kids", so yeah...

[@PIB2000]

@@notmyrealname1526 PG was kind of different back then. They did have a bit more freedom when it came to tackling mature themes(I mean, Texas Chainsaw Massacre was originally intended for a PG rating). If either of those movies were made today, they'd likely get a PG-13, if not an R in the case of Watership Down. A lot of PG animated movies are comparatively saccharine nowadays.

[@genericname2747]

@@PIB2000 Junji Ito is pretty much a nice version of Lovecraft

[@crinsombone5380]

The idea of combining Lovecraft themes with child like innocence could lead to something creepy and twisted. I mean I know that's nowhere near what they're going for, but there's an interesting idea buried somewhere in there

[@mlpfanboy1701]

May i introduce you to the kirby lore?

[@probablyondryland7142]

Gravity Falls.

[@iamsinistar8971]

Good idea for a few video games too.

[@Xar_Khan]

H.P. Lovecraft is spinning so fast in his grave, we could power the whole earth for the next 100 years.

[@Criminal_Turtle]

Oh damn I nearly suffocated on my food when I read your comment

[@udabudha2867]

No that's what's moving the planet.

[@zachflag6506]

Oh he was already rolling when the Voting Rights Act of 1965 got passed, let the bastard spin

[@genericname2747]

@@zachflag6506 He rolls in his grave whenever someone immigrants to America, and also whenever an air conditioner is turned on.

[@riatorex8722]

@@zachflag6506 imagine how fast he be rollin once Twitter finds out about his cat's name

[@wyntertheicewyvern6226]

"Are you afraid of the dark? Because my darkness has no fear of you." Okay, if this line had been delivered with more energy, by a menacing villain, in a different movie, it would be a very cool line.

[@christianp.7675]

"It definitely had more of a horror vibe. So what happened to that? Oh yeah, Gary's Mod couldn't handle that!" That's a line right there that could sum up so many children's cartoons lol

[@deathancompany9249]

Aaaa, nothing says like child friendly like, Cosmic Horror by HP lovecraft.

[@warbosszotgoss4908]

Sorry mamm but your child is long gone now ya see he's seen cthulu hes now insane theres nothing you can do

[@francis32025]

and dont forget the extreme racism

[@CaesarTheTzar]

Lovecraft's Cat

[@gonzaloperez4618]

Y dont remenber name anime become the cosmik horror in harem comedy

[@WillieManga]

Apparently Maxwell Adams agreed with that statement.

[@Transmission_Rory]

Funny you should mention children being read Lovecraft stories. John Carpenter's dad read to him Lovecraft stories before bedtime.

[@cursedalien]

And yet when he visited a mental hospital in college, some poor drugged 12 year old scared him so shitless that he made up Michael Myers.

[@archangel9363]

this explains so much...

[@genericname2747]

Yeah, you can definitely see some Lovecraftian elements in his movies

[@azel7056]

@@archangel9363 yes...yes it does 🤣

[@ssharkbait]

@@cursedalien really?! What a pussy. I’ve both stayed in and worked in a mental hospital. It’s not that bad. Maybe in those days...

[@shadowgeneral2]

Cthulhu: Has wings and has been shown to be able to fly in the movies. Also Cthulhu: "Oh no help me I'm going to fall into this pit.

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

Cthulhu what the fuck? Cthulhu:: it’s my day off dammit even old gods need saving from tiny humans

[@SynthMusicWorld]

Coming soon: the kid-friendly version of Stephen King's Pet Sematry.

[@tultsi93]

I would watch that. And also wish they recreate Spot's story more book accurate.

[@WorshipperOfKhone]

Coming soon: I have no mouth and I must scream... THE KIDS MOVIE!

[@jowbabadook8530]

@Bot the bot So basically Portal

[@eliasjakemoran6434]

@@WorshipperOfKhone 😂 That's even better! So dark not even his sponsors can shine light on it

[@lightninjohn5651]

They turn Sematry into Cemetery, because they don’t want to promote incorrect spelling

[@kristofgriffin384]

Here are some fun facts regarding H.P. Lovecraft: 1. He was good friends and pen pals with another famous and influential English writer: Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan the Barbarian. 2. Lovecraft actually regretted many of the racist things he said, and even married a Jewish woman. 3. In Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated, Jefferey Combs voiced a recurring character that was based on Lovecraft himself, although his name was changed to H.P. Hatecraft.

[@tultsi93]

Sorry for being nicky-picky, but do you have any prove Lovecraft regretting his racism, like a letter written by him or something? And what did you mean with "even marrying a Jewish woman?" That he regretted marrying her? That sentence made no sense.

[@slimeslaggagedon794]

@@tultsi93 He regretted being racist, and he married a Jewish woman

[@tultsi93]

@@slimeslaggagedon794 Oh, that's what they meant. The sentence was grammatically incorrect so I didn't know what it means. However I want to see an actual prove him regretting his racism. Otherwise I keep it as a myth and whitewashing.

[@daryno9073]

@@slimeslaggagedon794 actually his wife would have to remind him that she was Jewish when he went on his anti-Semitic rants and according to her he said “i rescue you from those mongrels” or something like that. Now his racism did die down by the end of his life but i wouldn’t call it a “coming to Christ” moment either

[@punishedbarca761]

@@slimeslaggagedon794 he tried to force her away from her Jewish friends and family and refused to allow them into his house. He was extremely racist until the very end, but he's also a brilliant writer with a complex history.

[@AnAverageGoblin]

Howard Lovecraft and his cat named [REDACTED]

[@genericname2747]

Lovecraft and his Cat. Who will remain nameless.

[@thedeliveryboy1123]

"[DATA EXPUNGED]? [DATA EXPUNGED]! Ugh, where did that cat go?!" *SCP-096 has breached containment*

[@Bruh-fv4lo]

I looked what Lovecraft's cats name was- and um- guys just don't look it up 💀

[@Cesaryeyo]

Lovecraft's cat name is the eldritch horror man was not meant to know. Do not unleash this unholy knowledge on the world. Save yourself from the madness.

[@kentuckyrex]

The name of his cat is also the name of the cat in Rats In The Walls..... which is a great story..... just giving a heads up.

[@KyleRayner12]

Is it me, or did Billy and Mandy do a better job of adapting Lovecraft in 15 minutes than this franchise did in 5 hours?

[@gillianc592]

Billy and Mandy was an outright amazing show. I miss it and wish they made more. Mandy was and still is my spirit animal.

[@WillieManga]

The Prank Call of Cthulhu. I think that is a very clever parody

[@rentokawaii1216]

@@gillianc592 no, i think they better leave it like that rather we got trashy reboot

[@YogSothothEdits]

I didn't see that show as a kid, can someone explain it?

[@thejasminedragonmerchant6843]

@@YogSothothEdits" The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy" was a Cartoon Network cartoon where the main premise involved two kids (Billy, a kind-hearted moron in a red baseball cap, and Mandy, a dark-hearted cynical child genius in an ironically pastel-themed flower dress) who enter a limbo contest against the Grim Reaper for the soul of Billy's insanely-old hamster Mr. Snuggles. Naturally, the kids win (Mandy exploits a loophole), and as Grim lost the contest, he now has to be "their best friend forever", with all the indentured servitude and blatant abuse of his powers that the kids could ever want. The "Prank Calls of Cthulhu" premise is an episode where Billy and Irwin (a mutual friend) get summer jobs working for Chthulu by making prank calls that turn the call recipients into monsters. There's a fairly impressive amount of body horror involved for a kid's show, so if horror and dark comedy are your thing, maybe give it a go? It's pretty good!

[@Szyperak]

Lovecrafts mother being a terrible parent is also pretty accurate

[@Zach2003]

I'm sorry, but "Cthulu eats reality, I saw Sarah eat a whole chicken" together with the bad voice acting is just perfect

[@mitchelltheawesome1]

Can't believe they didn't include his cat. Genuinely pissed that the best character in the Lovecraftian universe was axed.

[@hildegunstvonmythenmetz6095]

Seriously though, naming your cat… that name… as a racist is very weird. It‘s almost like Lovecraft was Sam Vimes but in real life. Like, he was very racist, but almost… Lovingly so? Also, the cat‘s name sounds a bit like a rapper superhero.

[@drtornado5251]

​@@hildegunstvonmythenmetz6095 Well, he did love the cat, and cats in general looking at his work. Although that cat in particular was named by his father.

[@dr.anderson1847]

Can't wait for that G-rated I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream adaptation

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

Ooh yeah I met be amazing movie!

[@WillieManga]

Maybe that already exists. I mean, G-Rated Lovecraft does exist; it's called Kirby.

[@InfinityOrNone]

@@WillieManga Kirby is what happens when Nyarlathotep decides it'd be entertaining to have one of his spawn raised with human(-ish) morality, watching on as the rest of the mythos has to deal with a being just 2 steps removed from Azathoth but without any of the cosmic indifference.

[@Snekfan88]

There is a web series coming soon from the creators of Murder Drones called "The Amazing Digital Circus" that's practically the plot of I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream but with a creepy circus theme.

[@Radechanicalarsonist]

*coughsin tadc*

[@dionysustheaceson3457]

“Do not look up his cat’s name” *Looks up his cat’s name* Idk what else I was expecting

[@idolevin8795]

Yeah. N******* man. Lovecraft was extremely racist.

[@hoshihime9835]

Dude was so racist that even other people in the 20s were like "Can you maybe chill? We all hate immigrants and my grandparents owned slaves but yiiiikes dude"

[@Ghos7lyKarma]

What else do you call a black cat that keeps running away 😕

[@neunleben1358]

@@Ghos7lyKarma I don't... Is that even funny?

[@comyuse9103]

@@hoshihime9835 the dude was so hateful and terrified of everything it had to be some kind of mental illness, but that did fuel some good stories

[@rebeccascott2197]

Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated did a fairly good job of Lovecraft for kids. I don’t think I’ll be searching this out though

[@swagromancer]

The novel Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero does a decent job of reconciling the Scooby Doo brand of horror for kids with outright lovecraftian cosmic horror.

[@gracekim1998]

Agreed

[@ashleythetrashley1726]

They literally had an episode that was about someone who thought that Scooby Doo's version of Cthulhu was actually real and got mad whenever someone dissed it by saying it was just a silly book. They also were a fanboy of the writer. I love that show.

[@hollowolfpup9958]

Okay, so the "Sarah. Once ate a whole chicken. I watched. It was amazing." That was actually kind of funny. Nothing else was good, naturally, but that one bit made me laugh.

[@egon2499]

Me too. And at that point I wondered, why didn't they made it a comedy?

[@mach2223]

Lovecraft: Cthulhu is such an ungraspably titanic being that merely looking at it will instill such an enormous amount of terror in a man that it drives him insane. this movie: more play

[@Jokoko2828]

Well there's that and the fact that he's got passive mindrape powers, just in case the giant scary thing wasn't scaring you enough already.

[@bigbawlzlebowski8886]

Why does the animation look like they mixed those 1940 stop motion Christmas specials with Fanboy and Chum Chum?

[@critica77y77]

Honestly, that's an insult to both of those. It's more like a lower-budget version of the Fleabag Monkeyface cartoon.

[@tiamystic]

Fanboy and Chum Chum: Lovecraft Halloween Special

[@anthonykeller1957]

@@tiamystic I'd take that over this

[@sonicfanboy3375]

​@@tiamystic Lovecraft *BUT AWESOME*

[@misterzygarde6431]

I heard Cthulhu Saves The World is a thing. It does a heroic Cthulhu but it’s much more different from the Cthulhu in this film.

[@lucifercon4868]

i have the game, it is fun

[@leress]

The game is pretty good and so is it's sequel Cthulhu Saves Christmas

[@greenhowie]

It's legit good though - a lot of fun, great dialogue.

[@KS-PNW]

It's simplistic but a fun game. Working security night shifts that was my go to game for a bit, interesting enough to keep you awake at least.

[@Sigismund697]

yeah it encompasses why Lovecraft's work has kinda gone down the drain

[@TitenSxull]

"They turn Cthulhu into a Funko Pop." Me: Looking across the room at my Cthulhu Funko Pop, which is a thing that very much exists.

[@MarquisLeary34]

S'okay. My ceiling fan has a plushie Cthulhu hanging from it as the switch.

[@amaterasu1222]

@@MarquisLeary34 I have an enormous plushie of Cthulhu. He is my favourite.

[@p3chv0gel22]

@@amaterasu1222 now i want a cthulhu plushie. That sounds AWESOME

[@TheAirBear2000]

I literally did the same thing when he said that.

[@cjgray8825]

I did the same thing...

[@Quackervoltz]

The kid in the thumbnail looks like that one rich kid who would call you a slur and then cry when he gets his ass beat for it.

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

That’s pretty accurate to Lovecraft’s actual life

[@Quackervoltz]

@@gregjayonnaise8314 PFFFFT

[@redwarrior2149]

"Seriously, do not look up his cat's name" Me: I am four parallel universes ahead of you.

[@ghazghkullthraka9714]

OH GOD, THAT NAME!

[@reluctantfollower5099]

Icantomg

[@esotericschizoidoccultconjurer]

I am not going to say it!! Please do not make me say it!! [ R E D A C T E D ] M A N

[@raspberrycrowns9494]

feline of african origin homo sapien

[@wolftitanreading5308]

Fun fact his uncle named the cat that lovecraft didn't have the heart to change it cause he was afraid it would confuse the cat

[@elegantcat1496]

"He remembers that his mommy loved him" Oh God, If you know anything about the guy and his relationship with his mother...

[@darrelsam419]

His relationship with his entire family was pretty bad in general.

[@enderkatze6129]

@@darrelsam419 as was His relationship with Most of humanity, wasn't it

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

@@darrelsam419 wasn’t his mom locked up asylum as well? I mean common knowledge that his family life wasn’t that great which lead too his issues

[@darrelsam419]

@@RAC00NFANGIRL I think so? His entire family seemed to have various types of untreated mental illnesses, which was common back then because they don't treat people and just locked people in asylums. He was raised by two very paranoid aunts instead of his parents, which is believed to be partially why he hated everything and everyone as an adult.

[@MasoTrumoi]

"just barely managed to banish the Dunwich Horror. Here he's a master of Kungthulhu" Ah, the Van Helsing effect

[@koichidignitythief7429]

Van Helsing was already an experienced vampire hunter in the book and very old.

[@MasoTrumoi]

@@koichidignitythief7429 It's more that Van Helsing was never a fighter. He was a doctor who would locate coffins and stabs sleeping corpses. He got turned into a superhero Belmont by weird "adaptations"

[@mksabourinable]

Van Helsing in the book: old doctor who was all about that garlic and kinda just... Had knowledge about vampires and how to get rid of em. Van Helsing in popular media: BAMF VAMPIRE SLAYER who is usually in his 30s.

[@gantzllat]

@@mksabourinable he was also short, a little chubby and bald. Describe as having an "imposing presence despite his short stature and gentle demeanor that inspired you to trust him. As any old mentor ought to have."

[@Garrison_the_Barbarian]

"Traveling through Mountain Dew piss" and "fewer last names than a village in Alabama" were the money lines of this video. Thanks for the laughs, Chris!

[@CynicalReviews]

You're welcome!

[@Nictheidoit]

;)

[@bonedude666]

​@@CynicalReviewsSo is "Oh yeah. Garry's Mod couldn't handle it."

[@katziliaf]

Gonna be honest: the first movie's beginning isn't even that bad. Children's movies don't have to be all happy & nice. I remember a lot of dark stories written for kids, like f.ex Goosebumps or "Geschichten vom schwarzen Schiff" (German book) and the set-up of "boy meets his dad for his birthday...in an insane asylm", has the same sarcastic energy like these stories. Had the first movie a better build-up story, better, more (Tim Burton) grotesque fitting imagery with dark humor that's not too strong, while not dancing around the issue of Lovecraft's stories either... ...yeah, could have been something, maybe.

[@marquiniopinio]

"...the cast in this has fewer last names than a village in Alabama..." BUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRN!

[@bambamriot4460]

"Are you Father Dagon?" A question I never thought I'd hear a child's voice ask.

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

Well technically he kinda is? I mean he made some humans part fish.. soo I mean he kinda is?

[@PIB2000]

It's hilarious how despite them quoting the original story when describing the Shoggoths, the Shoggoths look absolutely nothing like Shoggoths.

[@hebanker3372]

They look like Bruce from Finding Nemo.

[@xakirax_8864]

@@hebanker3372 Fish are friends not food

[@snakeboy2017]

@@xakirax_8864 Name me one fish you are friends with.

[@PIB2000]

@@hebanker3372 Why would you insult Bruce like that?

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

@@PIB2000 Nemo!

[@waluigiisgod3978]

Look Cynical, I don't care if it's only a Cthulu _mask_ it still makes you a furry

[@greatclubsandwich5612]

I'm sorry, but what fur does a squid have?

[@genericname2747]

That's his squid-sona

[@jordanshaw9941]

@@genericname2747 hmmm now I'm suddenly craving calamari

[@Bruh-hq1hx]

@@greatclubsandwich5612 squid slime is just fur but in a rush to go somewhere

[@jordanshaw9941]

@Marcus Mysteriously I just wanted food

[@ancapftw9113]

Most parents to kids: "Good night, sweet dreams." This guy to his kids: "when you sleep you enter the dreamlands where the Nightgaunts can hunt you to enslave your soul."

[@kingwashington4044]

I legitimately found this at my Aldi's (local grocery store). They were selling this for $2.99 and it was already at the bargain bin so they were selling it at 79 cents

[@Alondro77]

"South Park's" portrayal of Cthulhu was the best of all. Combining it with a parody of the theme song of "My Neighbor Totoro" was faboo!

[@Sleep-is-overrated]

And here I thought that the Titanic animated movies where the strangest kid movies based off of dark source material...

[@genericname2747]

Well, I think Titanic is definitely worse, because that was a real tragedy that was turned into an animated movie.

[@randomtinypotatocried]

I think the rapping dog is still a bit worse

[@TheBonkleFox]

No, Tentacolino is still somehow weirder

[@genericname2747]

@@TheBonkleFox Ah yes. The sequel to the animated Titanic movie.

[@Sigismund697]

@@genericname2747 you know what's the weird thing? that's not even the worst adaptation the very first movie adaptation of the event happened less than a month after the sinking the lead actress was an actual survivor and she had anxiety attacks during the shooting but goddammit she finished the damned movie

[@fairiedragon999]

There's a children's book called Sweet Dreams Cthulhu. It touches on how everyone gets scared sometimes. Cthulhu is depicted as a child in the book.

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

Funny enough, that actually seems to fit with one possible take on cosmic horror that I’ve read about: namely, if the universe is that vast and everything is meaningless, then who’s to say that the abominations lurking out there are any more significant and invulnerable in the grand scheme of things?

[@ollie_last]

I will say this: In my personal opinion, the character design itself isn’t bad. The artstyle does have a sort of odd charm. The main problem here is basically everything else, with the animation, script, environment, voice acting and... yes... the source material. If this were only *inspired* by Lovecraft they could have had a lot more creative freedom here. They wouldn’t even have needed to change all that much. It’s a shame. If this had been made by a more competent studio and had only taken inspiration from Lovecraft it could have been a classic. I’m still surprised this is even a trilogy at all with how bad just the first movie is.

[@sahildahal5523]

Kid: So, I heard that Lovecraft also had a cute cat! How nice of him! I wonder if he called it Cat-hullu or something? Adult: Ah....um.....yea....err....HOW ABOUT SOME COOKIE!!???

[@gr4ve-desecr4tor]

He really should’ve named his cat that. Shame he had to be racist

[@stevepalpatine2828]

@@gr4ve-desecr4tor The cat in question was actually HP's Father's cat. Howard just inherited it, he didn't name it himself. The cat in his story _The Rats in the Walls_ was names after the actual cat.

[@Torvar]

I just realized how much Lovecraft looks like Zuckerberg, from that picture.

[@pastelk]

Wait, That wasn't Zuckerburg?

[@mazadancoseben4818]

@@pastelk ,disappointing! There is no difference between Mark Zuckerberg and the people in Lovecraft's stories. Terrible

[@user-oy8vu3xb2y]

Isnt Zuckerberg a lizard robot?

[@Conwera]

@@user-oy8vu3xb2y yes and cuthulu is basically a giant lizard coincidence I think not

[@nobodylikesyou4161]

Hp Lovecraft must be rolling in his grave seeing his nightmare fuel terror become a children's animated move

[@rozmarinideas5340]

Honestly if he rose from the grave in this age of social acceptance and racial mingling, he'd probably have a heart attack, roll back into his grave and never stop rolling.

[@MrConredsX]

Also Black people being responsible for movie and video game adaptations of his stories

[@nobodylikesyou4161]

@@rozmarinideas5340No he wouldn't have a heart attack he, would probably explode

[@rozmarinideas5340]

@@nobodylikesyou4161 then reassemble and explode again.

[@greatclubsandwich5612]

He'd be rolling for a lot of reasons...

[@danieltreshner4955]

From that brief glimpse of the graphic novel, it seems less like it was a children's adaptation, and more like a medium that easier to digest than its original prose.

[@DarkArtistKaiser]

Every time I see Howard and his teeth, I keep thinking "This character looks like a gender bent version of Nina Cortex from Crash Bandicoot." It almost makes me feel like it wouldn't be crazy to introduce a occultic magic cousin/brother for her that is basically a N version of Lovecraft.

[@WillieManga]

Dr. N Slave?

[@cheesymoon2004]

i watched the frozen kingdom this halloween and my parents who are excruciating lovecraft fans bought it. needless to say i was in physical pain throughout the entire thing.

[@alexandresobreiramartins9461]

Well, when we have an anime called Nyaruko: Crawling with Love where the protagonist is a pink-haired anime loli that's an incarnation of Nyarlathotep...

[@HyoureiKyouran]

You also have the manga _The Elder Sister-like One_ where an orphan makes Shub-Niggurath be his big sister.

[@Sigismund697]

yeah but wasn't her hair silver anyway it sucked

[@erejnion]

@@HyoureiKyouran Ane Naru Mono is pretty scary overall. Also the official hentai sequel is great.

[@mr.nutcracker8957]

I mean, posing as a harmless girl to get followers isn't that out of character for the crawling chaos

[@Explorerofshadows]

To be fair I could see Nyarlethotep doing that, he may be evil in our eyes but in truth he just thinks of us as funny toys to mess with, much like a child playing with ants, he would probably do everything from that anime just for the memes.

[@lazarusthibodeaux]

Don Bluth believes you can show kids anything as long it has a happy ending.

[@genericname2747]

Honestly, he does have a good point.

[@corvus4350]

And then Richard Adams started to laugh maniacally.

[@blarg2429]

A "happy ending," you say? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@velveteenv76]

Work for me watching Fire and Ice at the age of 6 or 7 when it came out.

[@turma8eac]

He is right

[@cryseantheblue4327]

Nothing says child friendly like Lovecraft's cat or the ever increasing existential dread as you realize the universe cares not for anyone and we are mere specks in the cosmos

[@tgiacin435]

This should’ve been 2D animation with a more Jhonen Vasquez art style with a similar type of dark humor. Or make Howard similar to the Addams. Like how he sees these horrors, but he doesn’t see them as bad, more like intriguing.

[@Regigigas_YT]

I would LOVE to see a guy who just stands before Aztoth himself and just says: Cool. andwalks away

[@BovineDesigns]

I love that movies like this get sequels but Guillermo Del Toro still hasn't been allowed to make his Mountains of Madness movie.

[@TheMrDrProfGamer]

That was actually a quality "Lovecraft was racist" joke. You just keep reinforcing why I subbed to you.

[@wildfire9280]

Lovecraft was just based.

[@krimsonkatt]

@@wildfire9280 No he was racist, racist. He literally had a cat named "N-Word Man" (uncensored) and wrote a short paragraph filled with racial slurs saying the black people aren't human and that they were created by God to serve as white people's slaves. Crap's messed up.

[@1Thunderfire]

@@wildfire9280 Honestly, he was seen as messed up even back in his day which is kind of an achievement.

[@chriwehl7173]

@@1Thunderfire No sane person would ever come up with the stuff he did. Or most insane for that matter.

[@geardog24]

Who better to teach children the magic of friendship than unearthly abominations.

[@HyoureiKyouran]

My Little Cthulhu: Friendship is Madness

[@thewarnerchannel7285]

"This is actually from the second movie..." THEY MADE A SECOND ONE!!!!!

[@enderkatze6129]

They Made a third one

[@toasterenthusiast8023]

My parents put this one for me and my siblings when I was ten and I remember being pleasantly bewildered by it although I doubt many kids or adults would feel the same

[@visassess8607]

When you were 10? Holy hell, how young are you

[@sonicfanboy3375]

​@@visassess8607 16 probably

[@comiccat4650]

Wait wait wait! They just... killed Cthuluh in the third movie? Aren't the old ones like that thing in the code of the game that isn't meant to be seen but can't be taken out because the rest of all the code relies on it?

[@MarquisLeary34]

That and the whole, ya know, not bound by the physical laws of the universe thing.

[@themostbritishpersonalive868]

@@MarquisLeary34 unless azathoth says they are because he's basically the one above all

[@MarquisLeary34]

@@themostbritishpersonalive868 Which would be oddly coherent for a blind idiot god.

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

@@MarquisLeary34 Cthulhu cannot die period the old ones locked away! Meaning if their released than world is fucked! Cthulhu would kill us or drive us all insane either way love cannot save us! Cthulhu just stomp on the child! Also how is every adult and child not going mad just staring at Cthulhu this make no sense

[@MarquisLeary34]

@@RAC00NFANGIRL *SIGH* To say nothing of the presence of OUTER GODS who are just as if not more sanity blasting to human psyche.

[@breadbin4833]

Now that we have a children's adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's works I want a children's adaptation of either 'Saving Private Ryan', 'Full Metal Jacket' or 'Platoon'.

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

Children adaption Hell raiser Halloween I have no mouth so I must scream Yes let’s make all horror movies into kid adaptations and books so than we can corrupt i mean show them wonderful world of less scary stuff.

[@WillieManga]

I think those kinda exist in some capacity. Mostly as parody. R Lee Ermey had a few roles in kids media whrte he pays homage to his drill sergeant character.

[@Regigigas_YT]

add and S- to the beginning of that last one and were talking serious movie buisness

[@mrcritical6751]

Books: The Deep Ones are deformed monsters that are malicious and cruel who’re so terrifying to look at the sight of them in their true forms drove the author to insanity Howard Lovecraft: a group of four fairly normal looking kids with small fish like traits who’re friendly and want to help out the lead

[@caodogao4327]

Imagine that in a deep parental obliviousness, someone lets this become a formative part of a child's childhood. The kind of formative part that makes kids rewatch a movie over and over and over again. What kind of child would they be? What kind of adult they are right now?

[@xakirax_8864]

That is something I'm not sure i wanna know

[@petabread5096]

Hey! Richard Stanley’s mom read him Lovecraft when he was a child, and we all saw how good Color out of Space was

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

Explains his insanity

[@Shupey]

I work at this company now as a student animator, they have definitely improved a lot in recent years as artists /animators as the new project they are working on is very well done

[@laurenwoods4199]

This reminds me of how Universal refused to let Guillermo Del Toro do At the Mountains of Madness because they wanted to keep it PG 13 and he wants to make it R.

[@gvtterslag]

Him: Cthulhu for kids Me, an intellectual: Kid-ulhu!

[@tyrannapusandfriends6254]

“Maybe if he had some raycons, he’s be less rac-” *idk why but that got a good laugh from me*

[@reizak8966]

CR: "Seriously, do not look up the cat's name." *Immediately googles the cat's name Out of all the things this man is responsible for... this is the most disturbing.

[@tomnook7828]

I know the name, not pog

[@JoeNoshow27]

I immediately looked up the cat's name. Knowing what little I did about Lovecraft, I wasn't the least bit surprised.

[@WillieManga]

I was a bit surprised. I knew he was racist but that is a really weird name for a cat!

[@VoxisProductions]

Competition Time! You can win a cash prize and a dinner date with Cynical Reviews himself for answering one simpe question. What was the name of H.P Lovecraft's cat? Answer in the comments below! 😊

[@Targisvear]

[Redacted] Man.

[@genericname2747]

Man. Just man.

[@gameboyterrorysta6307]

Adult owner of exxagerated swagger.

[@Milky_Mercy]

*sweats nervously*

[@cellperfecto421]

Gamer Man

[@UlshaRS]

HP wanted other writers to build on his mythos. Welcomed them to. I think this would have caused him to retract that invitation

[@dark_fire_ice]

The SCPs are the modern hier to Lovecraft. And insanity is a legal term, usually the inability to feel guilt and/or recognize the wrong done.

[@noahnoah2747]

Heir. Just tryna add clarity :) And have you read, for example, Thomas Ligotti? Maybe try *Grimscribe*

[@dark_fire_ice]

@@noahnoah2747 I haven't. However, his format seems wrong. Lovecraft wrote his works like the character was a Victorian Gentleman Naturalist, which today would be a clinical data sheet

[@janainaicbeuamericanspace4315]

Not all scps are actually Very few ones have little details that remember lovecraft I think scarlet king is the closest thing to lovecraftian horror, but still

[@dark_fire_ice]

@@janainaicbeuamericanspace4315 or the Hanged King, Syncope Symphony, the Watchtower, anything Sarkic, ect. The point is regular humans are powerless against the universe and it's abnormalities, so some have become that which they protect from to protect everyone else (and usually die, horribly). Lovecraft himself isn't all that scary if you spend five minutes thinking about it, because the man was ignorance made manifest; non Euclidean which every practical geometry, for an example. But damn if isn't entertaining to read

[@Scottyno101]

H.P lovecraft's Cthulhu: the source of constant subconscious anxiety for all mankind who can end humanity once awoken Howard lovecraft's "Cthulhu": S N O W M A N

[@tultsi93]

🎵 Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman! 🎵

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

@@tultsi93 Cthulhu snowman!

[@mr.skeltal8687]

"Sarah are a whole chicken. I saw it, it was amazing" okay that delivery made me bust out laughing

[@Jahsizzl9]

“The world is indeed comic, But the joke is on mankind”

[@JefferyEpsteinOfficial]

Yeah.... he used that in the video

[@genericname2747]

the Ancient ones are just playing a prank on us

[@HyoureiKyouran]

@@genericname2747 The Great Race of Yith are the premium pranksters in the cosmos.

[@genericname2747]

@@HyoureiKyouran Haha, classic Yith. What funny dudes

[@GrandORdEr40]

First thought of everyone who click: wtf is this animation

[@TVClaireBear]

Pretty much

[@debzykvids]

Now seeing this animated character in action makes me think it's definitely HP's Dudley but older and from Devil All The Time.... .... Also CJ, that Cthulhu wig is a depression mood on another level.

[@itsclemtime2357]

If HP Lovecraft could see what his lovechild has became he’d sob to death.

[@iKadaj]

and deserve it apparently, from the kind of asshole everyone is saying he was.

[@RAC00NFANGIRL]

@@iKadaj Ehh I wouldn’t go that far man had issues But he lived in family that went insane and barely had family! I’m guessing his father was racist in front of him soo explains lot. But than again I enjoy the art not the artist!

[@egon2499]

This animated boy looks like he's cosplaying a vampire with lots of maskara and some lipstick.

[@joshuasmith147]

"give your ears more lovin' than Lovecraft ever received" - possibly the sickest burn of the decade

[@dynamosaurusimperious6341]

*remember the Good Ol Days of Lovecraft books,where pictures in books were scary?*

[@ambustio9807]

Remember when xenomorphs were scary

[@dynamosaurusimperious6341]

Yes

[@granite8236]

and racist

[@dynamosaurusimperious6341]

Yep

[@ambustio9807]

@@granite8236 Oh wow orginal you mean to Tell me people 100 years ago were diffrent in mindset

[@khathaway414]

I never noticed that but Lovecraft and Zuckerberg do look alike. So Zuckerberg may not be a robot, but a Lovecraftian Horror in a person suit.

[@Niobesnuppa]

Maybe Zuckerberg was Nyarlathotep all along!

[@prismatica_official]

It’s funny how they have Azathoth awake in the third movie but they forgot that if Azathoth so as much breathes funny while sleeping he can destroy the entire universe in a single moment.

[@carolfromhr9900]

Can't wait for "Young Chucky Palahniuk vs. the Doomsday Cult" or "Maggie Atwood and Her Adventures in the Republic of Gilead."

[@chilkootsailor492]

Cthulu: PG Monty Python Life of Brian: Rated R absolute bruh moment

[@TechnoLily25]

Well I mean there is nudity is the movies sometimes so idk

[@someguy9893]

Monty Python is usually rated pg or 12s here in europe

[@TechnoLily25]

@@someguy9893 wowza

[@chilkootsailor492]

@@someguy9893 in the USA Monty Python Life of Brian is R

[@jasarigames4481]

Biggus Dickus

[@LeuvahkTrigger]

I feel like they ripped the whole ' three journals being the McGuffin' from Gravity Falls.

[@wanderingoryx3710]

Gravity falls sucked

[@morale.9330]

I second this. I definitely noticed the similarities between mcguffens.

[@JRexRegis]

@@wanderingoryx3710 I hated the ending especially. It teaches kids to give up unique opportunities to fulfill their ambitions for the sake of flighty family members that do nothing but cause hardship.

[@FrenchFryCheese04]

@@wanderingoryx3710 nigga what

[@FrenchFryCheese04]

@@JRexRegis bruh

[@williama2349]

The fact that Azathoth showed up should have destroyed the world

[@gantzllat]

Yes. After all, the whole universe is azatot's dream.

[@williama2349]

@@gantzllat Yes, and if a person was to see Azathoth it would be a mass of infinite random creation and maddening sights. If he woke up existence would end, and if he appeared in the world it would just become a weird twilight zone. It is one of my favorite parts of the Lovecraft Mythos.

[@TylerJayWalker]

@@williama2349 I enjoyed it too but pls don't reply because notifications

[@OfficialEdwardNewgate]

@@TylerJayWalker reply

[@OfficialEdwardNewgate]

@@TylerJayWalker reply

[@ClockworkChandelure]

Not gonna lie, I grew up with horror/dark cartoons, so the idea of a lovecraft-inspired series or movie for children is something I'd absolutely be interested in. Also I kept imagining the "do you wanna build a snowman" scene from Frozen, but with Howard and Chtulhu... it was great.