that 1 friend whose politics makes no sense

[@ChimeraRanger]

When he took the political compass test, it just showed the dot sliding around like the DVD screen

[@Biscotum]

What happens when the dot hits the corner?

[@coldbinterp]

Lay Down by Caravan Palace starts to play.

[@uncroppedsoop]

​@@Biscotum he votes

[@omancitoreaux]

CARAVAN PALACE MENTIONED

[@fivebrosstopmos]

​@@BiscotumGenocide.

[@JBB685]

“I can’t decide. I just love both candidates so much”

[@BitTheByte]

I love this comment because if someone actually said this to me I’d be more pissed off than any other potential political take someone could have

[@eric_moore-6126]

Imagine even so much as _liking any_ candidate. Such a person is _actually_ insane.

[@mattperry9048]

My brain would just freeze like an old computer.

[@SpaceKadet1454]

To think there possibly is someone out there that thinks this

[@Nekrist._.]

I hate them both

[@ProductBasement]

This guy's targeted ads must be nuts

[@excalibro8365]

he doesn't like nut tho

[@CoverCode]

the ad just starts crying and screaming at him wanting to know what he wants

[@somedude7938]

I feel like when this guy votes, instead of filling out the bubble, he just licks all the print away.

[@AikanaroSauron]

Imagine not using ublock on the internet, LMAO.

[@ProductBasement]

@@AikanaroSauron there are targeted ads in phone apps that ublock can't block

[@ambergorilla6761]

Gotta keep the polls guessing. I’m always two steps ahead

[@agora_the_rapper]

Two votes ahead

[@TrashQueenAndKing]

Fence sitter Nikocado Avocado. At least the fence won't break this season

[@pilouuuu]

4d chess for president!

[@ceterisparibus8966]

@@TrashQueenAndKing Are you fr

[@longiusaescius2537]

@ceterisparibus8966 it's true

[@Entyipo]

The ultimate centrist, so extreme in every way, it all cancels out to the centre

[@ChiefFalque]

Waaaaait, ricochet horseshoe-theory

[@Entyipo]

@ChiefFalque Not really, my comment seems to indicate that they are totally opposite, so not really similar to that theory

[@jzargowinterhold1942]

Not left neither right, forward!

[@barackahilt8595]

"It's not possible No, it's necessary"

[@RTU130]

🤔

[@5MadMovieMakers]

Fun fact, some KZbinrs call those wacky contraptions "Chain Reaction machines" instead of "Rube Golberg machines" because my buddy Steve got a cease-and-desist from the Rube Goldberg estate after appearing on America's Got Talent. That was like a decade ago though so maybe they've loosened up. Anyways it's a key reason why I'm voting for

[@maverick9708]

that's actually kind of a a funny good serious twist 💀

[@macreator9497]

I should recontinue learning english.didnt understand a word 😢

[@maverick9708]

@@macreator9497 good luck! you will need it, English is a mess 💀💀

[@Alochmann]

@@maverick9708 nah its not, english is easy

[@anisatajy9445]

Who's Steve?

[@-brandon.-]

Swing state voter ❌ Mood swing state voter ✅

[@m4z805]

Bipolar district? Nah, bipolar voting.

[@MillBRoo]

​@m4z805 sounds about right. Prob where I was at. So I sat it out, and Prayed for an Asteroid. Unfortunately it didn't win😢

[@filipedias7284]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/b6KsYX-KorilaZo

[@hinasakukimi]

it's all ✨ vibes ✨

[@Jay-ln1co]

I'll have to remember that (I won't).

[@_MrMoney]

"I'm gay. I do not have sex with men" Damn what a coincidence, I'm straight and I've never had sex with a woman.

[@tgkafg]

#same

[@Thedarkknight2244]

I feel you

[@KG01101]

Don't worry boys, your day will come.

[@Neo2266.]

Brother from another mother

[@Frshcuko]

Sounds like he’s the straight one and you’re the gay one

[@Kehwanna]

So many people I talk to are like this, and it hurts my mind. "I like this politician, but if they don't win, I'll vote for the politician with the exact opposite views." I swear they outnumber us.

[@BLZ231]

If I can’t get exactly what I want, then settling for the complete opposite is fine! What… People really need to stop thinking about political candidates like they’re marriage partners and think of them more like picking a bus. If your destination is 1000 miles north, and your options are a bus that takes you 10 miles north and a bus that takes you 50 miles south, you suck it up and pick the first bus, because getting even a little closer to your destination is better then going the wrong direction. And if you don’t vote, you’re just letting other people pick the bus for you, so you can’t complain if the bus that’s worse gets more votes when you didn’t even try to change the outcome. Pragmatism should always be prioritized over idealistic purity.

[@BenM.Davies]

"I am about to state my political beliefs" with that music behind it might be the funniest line ever delivered

[@NOBLEFILMS1987]

HAHA! RIGHT?!

[@thepoetesskhansaa]

Yep, set up the rest of the bit perfectly, I was laughing the whole way through 😅

[@MaxIronsThird]

ever?

[@StudentOfGod]

I like how it was ONLY with that line and silence throughout the rest of the video 😂

[@WistfuII]

Also the slight raspiness as he says it

[@augustday9483]

I'm a single-issue voter that believes in trickle-sideways economics. We need to get rid of currency entirely and switch to a gift-based economy where people are paid in small useless trinkets and knickknacks.

[@ThrarmAnimation]

what do you think a dollar bill is?

[@what-the-blort]

Reject capitalism, embrace crow economics.

[@exotic1405]

I just got off my minimum wage job and got paid in novelty 20th century Bavarian snowglobes

[@invurret9533]

​@@what-the-blortCrowconomics The shiny metal strips stock is up 500%

[@planetcheese]

We should just recreate the Shire's economy in real life, complete with Mathom-gifting

[@zack4719]

I had a friend that thought 911 was fake and the towers were a giant projection that did not exist. His political beliefs were equally insane. This reminds me of him a lot. Thanks for the memories 😊

[@Batmann_]

The moon landing was a hoax and the earth is flat. -probably also things from your friend.

[@SicaCinema]

Go to another country and try 911, it doesn't work. wake up sheeple, the real number is 112. The 9 on old rotary phones would take longer to dial, making emergency services take longer to you. This was big funeral homes plan all along.

[@neonkatt7659]

What kinda memories are those

[@zack4719]

@@neonkatt7659 honestly good, we would smoke in the woods and he would talk about nonsense. It’s an acquired taste but I found it infinitely entertaining.

[@uriah4491]

What happened to him?

[@latt.qcd9221]

Finally, another Far-Center Moderate Extremist, like myself.

[@CasualTS]

I'm going to call myself Far-center from now on 😂

[@zs9652]

Your far center because you go into thw rarely needed depth axis.

[@jacobmonks3722]

I prefer the term "Radical centrist."

[@OPSECHero]

Deep center sounds better.

[@exotic1405]

Bro is on the z axis

[@noahclark7603]

We are a swing state please vote carefully Voter: did you say randomly?

[@MeatbagSlayer]

*TIME TO SPIN THE WHEEL!*

[@elokin300]

@@4546Bean AW DANG IT

[@dbzanappa6479]

ERR AW DANGIT

[@Raven-rv9jr]

Why else would it be a swing state?

[@TheMagicRat933]

*Broke*: They’re swing states because there’s a roughly equal split of Democrat-leaning and Republican-leaning voters in them *Woke*: They’re swing states because the voters there are completely insane

[@xjemimaxjaundicex]

I don't know why but the "I bet you are" at the end really got me

[@jackthereader]

“Also I’m gay. I do not have sex with men.” I feel that.

[@NW-bz1jw]

I have relationships with women. And sex with men.

[@myfootyuniverse]

This comment has 'Tears are running down my face but I did not cry' energy 🥲😂

[@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit]

I'm gay. I'm asexual.

[@zoriox8667]

same brother same🙏

[@princessthyemis]

@@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit Fellow asexual!!!! Hiii!!!! I was gonna say, his sentences make sense for someone who is gay and ace!! woo hoo!

[@M8OfTheNorth]

He’s obviously going to vote for both because he believes in gender equality.

[@Game_Hero]

ok, this is actually really funny

[@sabrinusglaucomys]

I laughed a laugh I have never laughed before

[@Xenos01-lf7nu]

Bilogical gender and its effects on the opposite genders body is different than how both genders should be treated towards, so while female and male are not equals in physique, they should be treated with the same human rights, same opportunities given, same education and same life standards because both genders are humans

[@tigerCola]

That’s made me lol

[@cordbord87]

lol this made me laugh hard

[@dihexa7256]

Believe it or not, some politicians in history really have tried to use the “raise taxes only for poor people to incentivise them to stop being poor” line without a hint of irony, I remember reading about it in a history book, in the context of abolishment of debtors-prisons in the UK

[@AtticusKarpenter]

So while capitalism already make poor people poorer and rich people richer (because you must spend money to make more money - better education, investments, expensive places of recreation or interest clubs where you can make useful business connections, etc. The more money available, the easier to make even more) these 5heads decided to push this effect even more by the law geniuses

[@000-v7j]

@@AtticusKarpenter are you a commie by chance?

[@dihexa7256]

@@AtticusKarpenter what on earth does that have to do with British debtor-prisons? The modern capitalist system hadn’t even developed yet in the UK when debtor prisons were abolished

[@sayorancode]

@@000-v7j YES I AM AND YOU SHOULD BECOME ONE TOO

[@000-v7j]

@ ah yes, I should support an ideology that has only ever failed, making its people poor and starving nearly 100 million+ collectivly.

[@thetvexplorer]

Man Carrying Politics is back at it again

[@speedrunnerthatcantspeedrun]

No comments?

[@kamota8523]

​@@speedrunnerthatcantspeedrunNo replies?

[@qwerty0532]

finally an accurate description of the average voter in PA

[@cookechris28]

Finally, the long-awaited day to see who the dumbest 20,000 people in my state have chosen to be the leader of our country for the next four years, is nearly at hand. I can't WAIT to see what they picked.

[@amandapanda5087]

As someone living in PA, I have to laugh

[@thecheesycookie2767]

yep pretty much

[@JeiElRai]

As someone who grew up elsewhere but has lived in PA for 7 years, I can confirm.

[@3possumsinatrenchcoat]

god it's too true though 🥲😭

[@intellectually_lazy]

he just stares straight ahead while checking off items on a belief list in monotone

[@Brendonforgoop]

Beans! on my foot…

[@phabiorules]

Say what you want, but at least you can’t complain about him being in an echo chamber.

[@jatsko3113]

he is in so many echo chambers that the sound waves cancel out and lead to an effective anechoic chamber instead

[@Proclifo]

He's in every echo chamber all at once

[@nopenahda8617]

Remember, you can always write in anyone you want...literally anyone...

[@Aknight292]

He collects all the echo chambers, breaks down the walls to form one giant exho chamber filled with the voices of all the echo chambers.

[@KyleHamel21]

Or he's in every echo chamber simultaneously 😭😭😭

[@HopUpOutDaBed]

when you're a centrist but actually have an extreme opinion on everything

[@princejellyfish3945]

That truly does describe a larger portion of the electorate than I’ll ever be comfortable with

[@IDoThings490]

"Centrists" don't exist, they're almost always an incomprehensible mess of extremely contradicting beliefs that they never took 2 seconds to sort through

[@iamdigory]

Jreg wants to know your location

[@ekaterinaobraztsova4631]

Radical centrist (this is me fr fr)

[@scarzehd]

It averages out

[@cellulanus]

When he says he's gay he's using the old definition of the word.

[@VapeDeus]

Trickle down economics is the ultimate Rube Goldberg machine.

[@Kekimus]

That doesn’t work

[@Idkpleasejustletmechangeit]

I recently wrote some song lyrics while sleep deprived and after having taken melatonin. It was about Santa stealing my eyes to make eyeball pasta, because Ronald Reagan and his monkey want to trickle down my eyes.

[@jivalchandrashekar9459]

I'm stealing this🤣🤣🤣

[@sozius0]

Maybe the real trickle down economics was the Rube Goldberg machine we made along the way.

[@Dysiode]

Underrated comment of the year

[@Manuel-gk3rv]

This is a man who is about to Pokémon Go To The Polls

[@EdKolis]

More like Twitch Plays The Election.

[@IDoThings490]

We going tuah to the polls this election

[@aussieseal9979]

@@IDoThings490 Wawk tuah the polls

[@DiggyPT]

skibidi go to the polls

[@Se7enth351]

When all your views are so extreme in every direction you end up being a centrist

[@MCFawful]

Me personally I’m a supporter of the Mario Party

[@antoinedube-cote155]

Best party

[@vibrantgleam]

SAME! MARIO FOREVER!!

[@PaleCentaur]

Let's-a go!

[@SnakeOfBacon]

The Mario Party has splintered into so many parties now, there's, what, fifteen? Do you support the Mario Party 1 despite their policy on grinding N64 sticks into dust?

[@TheModdedwarfare3]

Waa hooo

[@trafficispeople5750]

I'm going to watch this on a loop until Wednesday.

[@TheModdedwarfare3]

Love that show

[@awildjack3437]

Unfortunately it’s probably gonna take like a week to count the vote again. Update: I was wrong

[@trafficispeople5750]

@@awildjack3437 Good point. So maybe I will watch it on a loop until Wednesday, November 27 just to be sure.

[@awildjack3437]

@@trafficispeople5750turns out you only had to watch it till Tuesday ig?

[@DylanCampbell-tc9nm]

"Vote for a third party candidate" the third party candidate:

[@e.keough2975]

My dad was on the fence until about a month ago. He’s extremely environmentalist and anti-consumerist, but fiscally conservative. He believes one gay Disney princess would be good but two in a row would be too woke.

[@Silias47]

Based af

[@brastionskywarrior6951]

ultimate radical centrist dad. does he grill?

[@Ranked_Journey]

If he is environmentalist this election is quite simple, one of the candidates believes global warming is a hoax.

[@AFellowCyberman]

Facts.

[@abcdefghij337]

I see no problems here. You can be an environmentalist in that you don’t believe “green energy” and everything going electric is a positive thing. Most of it is money laundering while making the landscape ugly and/or killing animals. And the lithium mining for batteries is terrible for the environment, people, and gives China too much power.

[@TheNomade5]

So basically, Harrier Du Bois from any given run of Disco Elysium

[@martimsousa2601]

Fr

[@thearchitect7650]

Was about to comment that

[@Biscotum]

"Say one of these fascist or communist things, or fuck off."

[@RaphaëlAmbrosiusCosteau-n4s]

His name IS Raphaël Ambrosius Costeau.

[@tweetugwe1270]

He is Tequila Sunset.

[@HaloDoomer]

The brilliance of how "I'm excited to vote in a critical district in a swing state this year" "I bet you are" works in election years and non election years with this character. Chef kiss.

[@antonionavarretetroncoso2839]

Can you elaborate?

[@HaloDoomer]

@@antonionavarretetroncoso2839 Sure. Given that the character has views that are contradictory to the point of confusion, they may not be aware of what years are election years or not. If there is no election "I bet" could be the second character sarcastically encouraging them to vote when no election is happening. If there IS an election that year, the second character could be making a derisive comment about the others ability to reek havoc on the election due to said confused and contradictory political positions.

[@SXR123_YT]

Both sides of the political spectrum have no idea how to appeal to this man. He's the Negative Voter.

[@jimijenkins2548]

The antidemographic, if you will.

[@DiamondKingStudios]

Counting me, that makes two lol

[@idkman3210]

​@@jimijenkins2548demongraphic

[@Krill_all_health_insuranceCEOs]

"I'm about to state my political beliefs" is somehow such a hilarious and epic lead-in I will now start using this everywhere I go even where it's completely unrelated or unwanted I expect this will gain me many friends and I will influence many persons.

[@Kamehadouken]

Many such cases.

[@FreerunningGamer]

Many friends, such influence.

[@DizGaAlcam]

I believe you will succeed

[@Timely-ud4rm]

I hope you will influence these persons 😁

[@benjaminririe2009]

Do it in a job interview. They love that.

[@KirbyIsCute]

"I'm voting for both!" "That's... not possible." "Of course it is, I'm checking both boxes!"

[@drachna]

That's actually how the Irish system works, you rank your preferred candidates in order, and if your first choice doesn't get enough votes, your vote gets transferred to your next favourite candidate and so on. It helps that we have more than two parties, but still. You're on to something.

[@RubensBarrichello.]

​​@@drachna what if you don't want to vote for somebody, could you leave them off the list so that it ensures they don't get a vote?

[@drachna]

@RubensBarrichello. Yeah exactly, you can put exactly as many candidates on the list as you like, from one, to the whole lot in order of preference. If you only put one candidate in though, and they win a seat, or don't get enough votes, your vote is wasted in the next round of counting, so you usually at least put down a few. In my constituency for example there are over 15 candidates running for the Dáil (which is like our House of Commons or House of Representatives.) and we have four seats available. I'm considering putting down 8 or so names. The system is called Proportionate Representation by Single Transferable Vote (PRSTV). It's one of the most representative ways to vote, but it has the disadvantage of returning 'weaker' parties which usually have to go into coalition with one or more parties to form a government.

[@drachna]

@@RubensBarrichello. I've apparently had two replies deleted now, so yes, in essence.

[@RubensBarrichello.]

@@drachna oh yeah Nazi KZbin..

[@wikip3dia1999]

me at family functions trying to punch the bottom out on political absurdity so my grandpa will stop trying to argue with my cousin with a septum piercing

[@longbeing]

o7

[@soymilkman]

o7

[@jenconvertibles]

when this guy did the political compass his result was on the z axis

[@I.am.not.in.your.house.or.am.I]

Bro made a political *cube*

[@borekminer]

guys bring out the cube

[@hansyolo8277]

I believe in rent reductions, but only for people who own their home and live in it

[@sydneyalisonbaker]

That’s called abolishing property taxes.

[@000-v7j]

@@sydneyalisonbaker which is good, because taxes are evil and theft

[@reedy_9619]

In my country homeowners pay what is called a fictitious rent (cuz apparently owning a home is unfair to people who don’t because a homeowner doesn’t pay himself rent so he’s gotta pay rent to the state on top of paying rent to the state for the land he lives in (tax on home/land-ownership) I could agree with that stance

[@PixelKey]

Man fell into the political rabbit hole, farted and voted in a swing state.

[@Flesh_Wizard]

He's a far ting extremist😰

[@UnkoMunko]

My politics are whichever ones get me out of social situations the fastest

[@azliaheaven]

i kid you not there's a political stance called "isolationism"

[@EpicMiniMeatwad]

@@azliaheaven Next we'll say there's a political agenda called Self-cracy, it's where it's just you in the entire state.

[@doubleasworkshop1692]

​@azliaheaven I don't think isolationism is actually weird. It was very common even like a hundred or so years back. I think there might still be a few left

[@coolcatcher126]

@@doubleasworkshop1692 Wasn't pre ww1 USA isolationist?

[@doubleasworkshop1692]

@coolcatcher126 Yes and No. USA had been an isolationist nation from 1789 to 1941 with 2 brief periods of when they opened up. These two brief periods being World War 1 and 1898. USA removed themselves from Isolationism post World War 2

[@ali56]

Thanks!

[@aihf]

The local news desperately wants to interview 9 of this person.

[@nacho.24.3]

"I'm a communist Who believes in the free market" 💀

[@g.f.martianshipyards9328]

Those actually exist, they're called market socialists. It's not actually that crazy, just arguably ineffective.

[@thalesvondasos]

@@g.f.martianshipyards9328 Not all socialists are communists, not all markets are free markets

[@tesserae-c2y]

Lenin tried to introduce a form of capitalism through NEP. It was thought at the time that a communist society cannot be achieved without going through capitalism first. Stalin had a different idea and implemented collectivization instead.

[@Hiljaa_]

Communo-capitalism by jreg real????

[@elcalabozodelandroide2]

​@@g.f.martianshipyards9328 and dumb.

[@missk1697]

Funniest part is such views have a definition, bro is an accelerationist.

[@reedy_9619]

? Like Sonic the hedgehog?

[@marixsunnyotp3142]

He should come to China 😅

[@irotr53]

I didn't expect Kermit to win so i voted for him, now he's president of the United Arab Emirates

[@abcdefghij337]

This is an improvement.

[@CalvinLee606]

@@abcdefghij337 I feel like Kermit would automatically be an improvement in every country.

[@Mikewee777]

> " That is none of my business..." [Observes a frog consuming tea ]

[@slavishentity6705]

Won by 1.5 votes

[@HonorAction-888]

Pretty unpatriotic of u considering his part in taking the towers down. (i sh&t u not, look this up XD)

[@migueldevera5080]

My political compass changes based on who I'm trying to mildly annoy

[@Luchingador]

a fellow internet conservative

[@CatBxtchNami]

Me too.

[@CatBxtchNami]

Reality is, I never vote, I pay the fine every year.

[@dulguunjargal1199]

So a [Ideology I don't like]

[@YouCanCallMeReTro]

I try to be fair to both sides and the result is both sides throwing stones depending on whos side it favors.

[@Gabowsk]

When you need to summarize the German focus tree in HOI4:

[@thelakeman2538]

0:12 victoria II logic.

[@spain2017]

State capitalism>laissez fraire

[@snaifhassnan6348]

Based.

[@WarpSonic]

Cringe ​@@spain2017

[@paloim]

​@@WarpSonicin vic 2 its true as vic 2 is a deeply fascist and communist game as capitalists have 0 clue what they're doing

[@alfonsopalacios2725]

taxing poor people in vicky 2 is bad in the long run though

[@Gigioofficial]

No joke this is like exactly a friend of mine I wish I was making this up

[@bigdongkong1854]

Reminds me of my friend who complains about “woke media” but is also a huge fan of Hazbin Hotel, Steven Universe and other shows with “woke” themes

[@tardybloomer]

i feel you both so hard

[@AstaraBrightwing]

@@bigdongkong1854 There's nothing incongruent about that. Steven Universe handles mature themes like loss, jealousy, identity, parenthood, and relationships of all kinds (including same-sex) with nuance and, for the most part, without stating them explicitly. In this way, it's more mature than most entertainment targeted for adults. The "woke" that people complain about is when agendas are shoehorned into properties that shouldn't have them, or when they are shoved in your face without being appropriately justified.

[@Badficwriter]

@@bigdongkong1854 I feel the same about some comic book fans. Like, Superman was defending undocumented immigrants from cruel agrobusiness foremen before many people were born. Stan Lee knew exactly what he was doing when he adopted the 'Black Panther' college movement to make a black superhero. The woke was there all along.

[@kumbaya69421]

​@@Badficwriterbut when they did it, it was subtle, it was positive. It was good messaging. The media now is just at your face, and people aren't interested in that.

[@devcrom3]

Can't I just vote for everyone to have a good time?

[@Snigel_builds]

This demographic is grossly unappealed to

[@asmallphd9648]

Kinda hard to appeal to people like this. Can you imagine if a politician said "Yes I will be enforcing a plan for immigration, as proposed by Joe in Arkansas who is a communist monarchist, who does not believe in gender and climate change."

[@ryanadams0922]

I feel like people who live in a swing state love the attention SO MUCH the one time of every 4 years the nation wants to know what type of sauce do they like.

[@WandererTheLost]

I love how the room decided to light up as you stated you were a Communist. 0:26

[@hiddenflare6169]

“I don’t want Peace, I WANT PROBLEMS! ALWAYS!”

[@abhabh6896]

- Shao Khan

[@user-qr4jf4tv2x]

can we get an AI voice of it for kamala

[@reedy_9619]

Average lefty

[@cursedcat6467]

@@reedy_9619 average reedy_9619

[@John-qv5ux]

​@reedy_9619 I subscribe to Lockheedism, which is an ideology which supports whatever will make Lockheed Martin the most money this quarter

[@gigachadgaming1551]

My dad used to deal weed in college and grew up with his community using it as medicine. He loved ronald reagan and the war on drugs

[@Xander_Zimmermann]

Your dad just wanted his competition arrested so he could become a stoner monopoly as the competition would be in prison.

[@8LegoVogel8]

Tbf War on drugs makes some good music 🎵

[@marleymars2223]

Laughing and crying inside because there are actually so many people like this

[@JohnLoveson]

Man Carrying Thing for president 2024

[@lagun42]

But what is that thing he's carrying for president?

[@dimitrijekulak3347]

​@@lagun42 The thing

[@CrustyFox87]

@@dimitrijekulak3347 The Marvel one or the horror movie one?

[@brendanhall5581]

​@@CrustyFox87 I would trust Ben Grimm with the presidency

[@CrustyFox87]

@@brendanhall5581 me too tbh

[@robocatssj3theofficial]

love how "also i'm gay, i do not have sex with men" is considered confusing, even though it just means he doesn't pull.

[@hanzolo7687]

It could also mean he's gay, but believes gay intercourse to be wrong due to some religion (or just bc for some weird reason)

[@julianfarnam6246]

Or he's romantically interested and attracted to men but has no sexual attraction to them.

[@b1ab1b-hexcolor]

​@@julianfarnam6246 Or he's gay, but hates the Concept of being Gay

[@robo3007]

He's homosexual but heteroromantic. Makes things very difficult for his wife I'm sure

[@Maxime-fo8iv]

It's really him mentioning he wants to go back to conservative family values and saying this right after that creates the confusion. That makes the not having sex with men part sound like a choice

[@calebdowdy7871]

Bro thank you. I needed this laugh today.

[@thatpenguin9889]

Damn, that was one TIGHT video

[@bestusername1074]

Man directly influencing my already underdeveloped and unresearched political opinions

[@barackahilt8595]

You gotta do it to'em

[@jasonrorrer3796]

This felt like a lamas with hats skit

[@KMO325]

Man Carrying RFK Jr

[@Triadow]

Exactly bro he said so much about breaking the duopoly and being pro-environment and creating a less radical America and then he started backing Trump as if Trump isn't the opposite of almost everything that he had been campaigning on.

[@kevinbabicz]

Man carrying ballot to ballot box

[@DavidDecero]

This time, I'm letting my gut guide me (I have a tummy ache).

[@corruptg5914]

Glad to see that my bisexual conservative, anti - immigrant, free - market loving, pro - republican, pro - trans, pro - third gender, pro - intervention, pro - military friend finally meets someone who he could agree with (except the abortion thing, he hates that).

[@endersteph]

It sounds like you're describing typical homonationalism

[@RasmusVJS]

Based on what you just said, isn't that just a queer-friendly conservative?

[@corruptg5914]

@RasmusVJS Oh yes he certainly is. Not really hating on him, apologies if my comment came across like that, especially as he is one of my close friends. I suppose I just rather find it improbable to find someone who has his sets of beliefs while being that sexual orientation, but I suppose ours is a wide world after all.

[@RasmusVJS]

@@corruptg5914 I mean, not exactly a position that I fully understand either, it just sounded like you were pointing out multiple contradictory positions, whereas this is more of an unusual position than anything.

[@corruptg5914]

@@RasmusVJS Ah I see, I suppose the message did come across as that. My apologies, my intentions was to present my friend as a rather unique outlier and position within the political sphere rather than presenting his beliefs as contradictions, especially as economic views and cultural views don't necessarily have to clash with one another.

[@blakebailey22]

See, the real nightmare is someone saying they won't vote for a candidate solely because they "don't like their laugh," or something equally vapid and asinine

[@siymiz]

I would argue you can tell when someone is snarky or not by their laugh. kamala is very condescending and passive aggressive to those she dislikes

[@sepiasnakesigil]

@@siymizUnlike Trump, whose interactions with people he dislikes are always rooted in earnestness and respect?

[@theAstarrr]

even worse: people who believe what the tv tells them and don't look into things. look at all the evidence around j6. mr. 45 says to be peaceful, both before and after, 40000 hours reveals cops threw grenades into a peaceful crowd

[@AstaraBrightwing]

@@sepiasnakesigil Stay focused, buddy. They're talking about Kamala, not Trump.

[@ryanweible9090]

they can't say its because she's black, so they make up something stupid like that.

[@judykimnguyen8393]

Literally me in all Paradox games

[@journeytotheotherside]

The bear and the alligator were friends you monster

[@deconstructing7307]

What if we start two new political parties, represented by a bear and an alligator and -- oh shit, that's Russia and Florida...

[@barackahilt8595]

​@@deconstructing7307Russia joins NATO as part of the Commonwealth of Florida

[@deconstructing7307]

@@barackahilt8595 Oh god... Let the swamps take them all!

[@timthememer2785]

0:34 overhyped Disney characters every other film be like:

[@the-postal-dude]

proof? the only canonically gay disney characters i can think of are the lesbians in lightyear that got cut out of releases in more homophobic countries 💀 y'all will believe anything

[@anne.andromeda]

Also, how many seconds it then takes disney to cancel the entire project

[@the-postal-dude]

youtube ate my damn reply, but... proof? i can't name a single canonically gay character in a disney film

[@matthewjanzen4837]

@@the-postal-dude google first gay disney character. usually it's implied for like a second

[@Idonthaveausernameyet]

​@@matthewjanzen4837also there are sooooo many "first" gay Disney characters oh my god

[@dumpsockpuppet5619]

JREG would be proud, and pissed, and indifferent and derail hhe conversation with 10 layers of meta-irony

[@1.4142]

As a proud illegal working class disabled veteran fetus, I approve of this message.

[@KimberlyCarter-fe9vh]

Each time you post, I'm excited!

[@TheRealBoyKuromi]

“Also I’m gay. I do not have seggs with men.” Just sounds like an ace king to me fr- Also this video gives me more whiplash than the actual election did.

[@yakkyy]

I was confused about who to vote for. Now it all makes sense, thanks man who carries thing!!

[@davidfisher9252]

My voting decisions will be based on the outcome of the Rube Goldberg machine video I'm watching.

[@TurkishToprak]

this was hilarious. love the "Oh i bet you are" at the end. I had so much fun voting in a swing state.

[@thatpenguin9889]

He continues his journey to Man Carrying Politics!

[@TheKartana]

Least deranged undecided voter

[@humantacos9800]

This is literally how I answered every pollster this year.

[@cyberdemon6517]

man carrying every party at once

[@SpaceflightExplained]

man carrying mario party

[@MidWitPride]

Oh, look. It's Jreg.

[@jjowna]

i love you

[@MidWitPride]

@@jjowna I love you too, honeybuns

[@NotSure416]

Thanks for the vote!

[@nataliearcadia]

"I'm gay. I do not have sex with men." Same, dude. Same.

[@EdKolis]

Would a gay non-binary person only have sex with other non-binary people? Hmmm...

[@kredonystus7768]

If fully support your right as a gay man to marry, as long as you find the right woman.

[@nataliearcadia]

@@kredonystus7768 I honestly don't know how I could make it clearer that I'm a lesbian woman. I'm doing all I can here. Or maybe I'm too autistic to understand your comment idk

[@thekitten_hoarder]

@@nataliearcadia lmao this got a laugh out of me

[@Pandacalifornia]

@@nataliearcadia I interpreted the comment as you’re not having any luck finding someone.

[@nakenmil]

"I bet you are." Ooh, you can FEEL the disdain.

[@munkirtokage4816]

The Rube Goldberg machine videos make a lot of sense actually

[@paperking_real]

Plankton for President so farting and dying can be legal.

[@almitydave]

I vote for whoever sends me the fewest campaign texts

[@Designed1]

"I'm centrist" vs. "I'm *technically* centrist"

[@dimitrijekulak3347]

I was expecting Senator Thing to make a cameo. The absolute legend, he finally missed

[@Legendarial]

bros political compass is stuck in the nether

[@untitled6391]

Bro is the final boss for campaign volunteers

[@justlivin2499]

Real, I voted blindfolded today

[@Badficwriter]

How did you fill out the bubble correctly?

[@AmericanCryptid1]

@@Badficwriterhe didn’t

[@obviousalias132]

Blackout drunk mail in voting

[@comixproviderftw_02]

Centrists be like

[@net6406]

Apolitical people who are just throwing political buzzwords in order to fit in the conversation be like

[@krowbard]

Not agreeing to the full package of a political party's talking points doesn't mean you have inherently contradictory beliefs.

[@IDoThings490]

@@krowbard In many cases it does, since often a party's beliefs is set on top of a principle which is different from another party

[@krowbard]

@@IDoThings490 I can't speak for all politics but I'd argue there is no one uniting idea among American political parties. It's why we have 20 different flavors of left and right winger and they all seem to hate each other to varying degrees. It's probably why there are so many single issue voters, just choose the one thing you care the most about and vote based on that.

[@highlyelasticpunchingbag9423]

@@IDoThings490 lol things are not as black and white as you proport them to be

[@elsisssurana2046]

I'm too confused to be confused. My brain just had a blue screen of death.

[@cjgeminitarot6836]

This was clearly made for your elderly female core fanbase

[@itsfy_]

"I bet you are" 😭

[@Elemblue2]

This is fire. Im mad about how easily I could connect this to people.

[@thetoxicfanbase4756]

Man CARRYING don't make sense! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Zing!