“That’s That Me, Espresso” Is Peak Poetry

Taylor Tomlinson brings Brandon Kyle Goodman, Heather McMahan, and Hannah Berner into the group chat! They discuss the cutest video you’ve ever seen, the most boring man on the internet, and ghostwriting lyrics for Sabrina Carpenter’s next pop anthem.
#AfterMidnight #TaylorTomlinson #Comedy #SabrinaCarpenter #Espresso
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Watch After Midnight with Taylor Tomlinson weeknights at 12:37/11:37c, after The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, on CBS and Paramount Plus.
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AFTER MIDNIGHT is the smartest show on television about the dumbest things on the internet. With celebrated comedian Taylor Tomlinson at the helm and a panel of guests from the worlds of entertainment, comedy, music and beyond, AFTER MIDNIGHT is a late-night comedy series about what set the internet abuzz that day with a game show feel. AFTER MIDNIGHT airs Monday through Friday, 12:37-1:37 AM, ET/PT on the CBS Television Network and streams live on Paramount+.

[@Sleepysleepjr]

Hannah looks like she’s about to ask me if I want any Parmesan on my spaghetti 😂😂

[@batkat0]

​@@HasekDaScudaDoodle writes*

[@savethezombies]

Yea she would ask but wouldn't be the one to give you the parmesan. She'd get the guy that looks like young Adam Sandler to come over and do that.

[@socalkylex]

She’d definitely give you a look when you ask for more breadsticks

[@benlittleforest]

I feel like "Im working late, cuz im a sinGer" is another incredible pop song line

[@KylETISZAI]

Okay but fr thank you for saying it

[@abcd18802]

Wait can someone explain to me the special ness of the line 🥹 I’m kinda slow

[@ia490]

​@@abcd18802 for me it's the way she sings it. so damn catchy and so sassy! 😂

[@benlittleforest]

@@abcd18802 it sounds good and is kind of nonsensical/means nothing. It's like candy for the ears, to me

[@BAYBAY_316]

" They even go to Arkansas "......I can confirm I've seen metal birds fly in the sky above me in Arkansas 😂😂😂

[@cm9241]

Arkansas always catching strays on comedy shows lmao

[@BAYBAY_316]

@@cm9241 it's a long lasting tradition

[@leonnoel9501]

the booking on this show 🤌🤌🤌

[@handyreiter1310]

Hannah the fashion icon without a job meets Taylor the fashion icon with a job! 🎉❤

[@Mare416]

Hannah looks like Brie Larson if she was in boygenius.

[@handyreiter1310]

@@Mare416 Gotta look that up 👍

[@UnderstandingDarkness]

She looks like a server. 🤦‍♀️ I want to giver her my drink order. 😂

[@jae119]

​@@Mare416unbelievably accurate comment thank you for this

[@hoover728]

@@Mare416 So... Phoebe Bridgers?

[@emilym.8824]

I love the little pause at 4:21 😂 yep I’m right there with ya Taylor

[@Raddiebaddie]

Dont fact check that just get angry 😂

[@SeoulDaddy09]

Taylor laughing at the Travis Kelsey comment out of fear of angering the swifties

[@cowboy.likemia]

she's a swiftie herself, she says so in her specials. after midnight's logo looks a lot like the midnights album too I always thought it was a reference

[@alfie6441]

@@cowboy.likemiathere used to be a show in Comedy Central called @midnight with Chris Hardwick they rebranded and rebooted with a 12:30 time slot and Taylor Tomlinson not a reference just a rebrand

[@Frobias]

9:35 Hahaha Taylor got a talkin to. This feels like when your friend would get called into the principal's office

[@kczcb4697]

So Taylor skips rocks at public pools? Learning about her dark side

[@RobinWildlife]

1 Corinthians 4:18: "Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you." 2 Corinthians 4:18: "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." You choose I guess. The 2 Corinthians is probably the best fit(?)

[@sophiemullinix9009]

This is exactly what I did

[@McBlazington]

Is everyone here really into trains? (I did the same thing)

[@leumas75]

Definitely 2nd

[@chaosdream21]

Proverbs 7:6-27: "Nothing good happens after midnight." Taylor was brought up Christian she knew it was an actual quote but probably couldn't remember exactly where it was in the Bible so she just made up a location.

[@Stingrea51]

@@chaosdream21 Sounds like some people I've heard preach lol

[@RegebroRepairs]

"Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you."

[@B.J.Camire]

*Looks it up* Um, actually... At Midnight appears in the bible 5-10 times depending on the translation, but After Midnight doesn't appear at all. (I wanted her to be right so bad I googled 5 different translations to find After Midnight in the bible 🤣)

[@mailman2310]

Hey now, you’re not David Brian Gilbert!

[@BrentDeJong]

I think that might be the joke because 2 Corinthians 4:18 says "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen"

[@christopherporter2459]

Proverb for the Day 7:9 - Momma Said “Nothing Good Ever Happens After Midnight!” …at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in. This chapter is a discussion Solomon had with his son about staying away from adulteress women.

[@eat_pray_porg8450]

"There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." Holy crap!

[@mariaakaannie6138]

9:30 my god the amount of times i get this when i say i've got insomnia

[@ananananabop]

I love Brandon’s colorful jest

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

Jest?

[@Nancy-jc4bv]

Jest or vest? Either way, yes

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

@@Nancy-jc4bv Is a jest a type of vest? Or did OP make a typo?

[@ShouPow]

​@@MatthewTheWandererjest can be used as a noun (think jester) as basically another word for humor/comedy

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

@@ShouPow That's what it normally means, but that's not what OP meant!

[@findlayolson3700]

brandon's snort laugh around 12:30

[@bdwon]

More than meets the eye!

[@christiannoellecharles1205]

12:13 Perfection

[@mikesell123]

Whether cbs or not, i like the use of "fricken" and all its derivates (lookin at you, "frig"). maybe throw in some "heck"s, "dingus"s and other fun alternatives. not because i grew up religiously oppressed, but because its silly and comedy

[@JD_DE]

"if you don't swim, you'll drown but don't swim...honey"

[@JD_DE]

Falls du nicht schwimmst wirst du ertrinken aber bewege dich nicht...Honig

[@Raddiebaddie]

5:55 hahahha 😂

[@alexparadi522]

That's not how you throw a skipping stone Taylor. :p

[@jasperlevien5968]

Lmao thank God I watched her on Stiff Socks last night she's amazing ❤😂

[@louisbonilla6780]

Taylor you have gotten ten times beautiful this past year - Love ya!❤🔥

[@briansneary7535]

[Verse 1] A bear there was, a bear, a bear! All black and brown and covered in hair! Three boys, a goat, and a dancing bear! They danced and spun, right to the fair! Oh, sweet she was, and pure, and fair! The maid with honey up in her hair! He smelled her on the summer air! The maid with honey up in her hair! [Chorus] From there to here, from her to there! All black and brown and covered in hair! He smelled that girl on the summer air! The bear! The bear! The maiden fair! [Verse 2] Oh, I'm a maid, and I'm pure and fair! I'll never dance with a hairy bear! I called a knight, but you're a bear! All black and brown and covered in hair! He lifted her high in the air! He sniffed and roared and he smelled her there! She kicked and wailed, the maid so fair! He licked the honey all up in her hair!

[@claudelorrain-bouchard6941]

Corinthian 4-18 --- 18 There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. 18 So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

[@RegebroRepairs]

That's Second Corinthians. ;-)

[@CM-yz3ze]

1st Cor. 4:18, Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you.

[@claudelorrain-bouchard6941]

@@CM-yz3ze Still don't see how that is related to the show though...

[@JDMimeTHEFIRST]

That duck is judgmental, not sleepy that’s a side eye. Same one my chihuahua gives me .

[@NameRealperson]

5:13 Does anyone else think it seems like Taylor is genuinely afraid of the Swifties?

[@AdrianColley]

Taylor Swift fans look on other Taylors the way Queen Mary I of England looked at other queens: as a theoretical threat.

[@threepiecefishandchips]

as any sane person should be

[@firstlast1932]

I thought Taylor was a swiftie herself. Her Netflix special introduced me to Swift's music.

[@thisismetrying17]

She's already a swiftie....? Your statement doesn't even makes sense...

[@Masonj919]

@@thisismetrying17you need to calm down. The fact that anyone can tell your response is a swiftie’s response is why people think many of you are mentally ill

[@Miss.Tango.]

I've never seen this show till now, but I still miss @ Midnight not gonna lie 🤫

[@Orzokitty]

"18 There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. 18 So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

[@rivka_sos]

HANNNAAAAAAAHHHHH

[@icarusgotooclose]

It 100% depends what kind of bear

[@richpeltier9519]

A few years ago I started drinking honey in my morning coffee to see if it would help me adapt to the allergies I developed after moving into a new area. Then for dietary reasons, I shifted much of my protein intake to nuts and away from a diet heavy in red meat. I'm not saying I'm Mabearn, but most of my friends are wild animals.

[@kirkwagner461]

Holy crap. -> I

[@RoshenCarman]

Wait, what body of water isn’t flat? Waterfall, maybe? I’d still contemplate that rock there.

[@Raddiebaddie]

Ocean with waves?

[@xphienie]

River?

[@xqueenfrostine]

Anything with waves or a wake. Also rivers and streams frequently cover uneven terrain of go down hill.

[@zoomonkees]

Physically human, mentally a bear 😹

[@evankraabel5415]

I looked up corinthians 4:18... What? "18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

[@archangel1of7]

As a semi-hetero man, I too choose the bear. Dudes are the worst.

[@MadAboutBrows]

SRSLY SO BAD

[@churrothiev8387]

Semi-hetero?

[@archangel1of7]

@@churrothiev8387 Yes, that seems fairly self-explanatory. Problem?

[@JonPRuff]

Wait since when did we get planes in Arkansas?

[@fancifuldevices]

I need a link to the Randall smith video

[@shortsismakingmybrainrot]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pnWyd4Wjgp6XaKssi=QGZEBhUUFGTlJGgX

[@NeverSeenTheFilm]

1 Corinthians 4:18- Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you. 2 Corinthians 4:18- So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. Interpret that how you will.

[@richpeltier9519]

5:45 Taylor calls out Hannah for her Toxic Femininity 🤣🤣🤣

[@MadAboutBrows]

Aww y'all can't do literally anything original, poor widdew bebe

[@Chairchuckee]

In case anyone's wondering: 1 Corinthians 4:18. But some of you, thinking that I am not coming to you, have become arrogant. 2. Corinthians 4:18 ...because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen, for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.

[@AdrianColley]

I think they meant Judges 7:19 "It was just after midnight, after the changing of the guard, when Gideon and the 100 men with him reached the edge of the Midianite camp. Suddenly, they blew the rams’ horns and broke their clay jars."

[@delightdelirium1]

@@AdrianColley I need to know if you just knew that, or if you searched "bible after midnight" lol

[@davidstefano2709]

I think it was a joke about their ratings 😆

[@AdrianColley]

​@@delightdelirium1 I went to my favourite Bible website and searched it for "midnight" and then searched the results page for "after". One match!

[@Clarity126]

I've seen so many of these, but i'm still not sure how they get points... lol!

[@gweebara]

That last expresso loop is almost exactly like the song Google that shit ... Go google google that shit

[@reydelcastillo17]

Tommi’s laugh is the cutest 😂

[@angelaglaros]

Mabearn is Grizzly Adams’ grandson

[@YvonTripper]

Was Grizzly Wednesday's father, or brother?

[@seanarmstrong8460]

Taylor’s not wrong about 2 Corinthians 4:18! 🤯

[@richpeltier9519]

Sorry, if you make another panelist snort laugh, that should be points.

[@NeonMosfet]

I look out over night that is burnt the way a pathetic suitor crawls from a basement. They don’t know , they don’t know / it’s just a distraction taking attention from the reaper on the corner, waiting to pull you from your car onto La Brea smearing you with imaginary tar.

[@rainman7992]

on the bright side, the bear will take you out to eat you...close enough

[@Palidine4M0O]

kzbin.infof6P0gS92glk

[@MadAboutBrows]

Aw y'all are so salty bears are safer

[@mariekastler5391]

Corinthians 4:18 obviously doesn't get how the Nielsen ratings work.

[@timothyfloogle]

1 Corinthians 4:18 “Now some are puffed up, as though I would not come to you.”

[@timgrant1274]

3:46 12:25

[@tslehman]

First or Second Corinthians? 1 Corinthians 4:18 [18] Some are arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. 2 Corinthians 4:18 [18] as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. Neither seem to fit here

[@grammar_ash]

Ok, I looked it up, I think she's talking about second Corinthians? II Corinthians 4:18 "‭So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I mean... She could've supported her point more but i guess it's not completely off topic

[@timothyfloogle]

2 Corinthians 4:18 King James Version 18 While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.

[@jaebee1121]

Are women who are pilots also zaddies or no?

[@shortsismakingmybrainrot]

Yes.

[@danish77]

wildn

[@ericfleming5522]

I just realized this show is like Tosh 2.0...2.0.

[@jessicab6723]

Tosh.0 was actually funny

[@Throatzillaaa]

​@jessicab6723 I would say neither are particularly funny. Tosh.0 was at least done at a time when memes and viral videos were still somewhat "fresh" as an idea for a TV show to share comedy. And I did enjoy when Daniel Tosh let people try to fix their video fuck ups. I think Daniel just had the benefit of this kind of show not being played out.

[@orlock20]

The man and bear question is redundant. A bear is a large hairy gay guy so the question is about a man and a more descriptive man.

[@justincastillogayray]

#Mabearn means A.I. is Absolutely Idiotic

[@carina9295]

It has been thirteen months since #CocaineBear dropped on bluray

[@adriaanvanderzee9325]

Corinthians 4:18 - There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.

[@Badusername2000]

weird thing with hannah berner, i find her funny in everything other than her actual standup, if shes on a podcast shes entertaining, her little "woman on the street" bits she does on social media are fun too, but for some reason her standup doesnt hit

[@marywiggins2357]

1 Corinthians 4:18 0:16 or 2 Corintbecaus4:18 because one of them is far funnier than the other..

[@Becktastic01]

Must be 2 Corinthians 4:18 18 There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever

[@DJthehuman]

Corinthians 4:18 There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

[@Phi1618033]

"Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you." -- 1 Corinthians, 4:18

[@_DerdniK_]

Too bad Kam Patterson couldn’t have been a panelist on this episode…missed opportunity 🪨

[@dianewilliams1125]

That Mambearn looks like my Son!😮😮😮

[@jameswest6116]

First or Second Corinthians?

[@rogerniner]

Why does Mabearn look like Daniel Radcliffe?

[@jacoblf]

sry no. C.4.18 nope. But there's a song in the Passover Sedar "It Happened At Midnight". We will, and let it be at midnight On the first night they say: And yes, it was midnight. Because most miracles are a miracle at night, at the head of the guard is this night. Ger Tzedek was killed as he was allotted a night, and it was midnight. You condemned the king of Gerar in a dream of the night, you frightened an Aramean in the middle of the night. And Israel sang to the angel and he slept for the night, and it was at midnight.

[@subman23]

Plot twist: the lyrics make perfect sense..... _in Swedish_ (dun dun duuuuunn)

[@StonedSlug420]

I think every black comic has white jokes on this show....

[@jessicab6723]

0:40 seriously? Did that joke come straight from 1983?

[@sotheresthat7882]

Taylor is seriously one of the most beautiful women in the world. If you listen to her act, however, I don’t think she would agree with me.😅

[@randyc8771]

I checked, and Corinthians 4/18 doesn't say a damn thing about this show. You liars!!,

[@MrAgentAardvark]

Had to stop watching in the middle to check out this Expresso song😮💨

[@MadAboutBrows]

Maybe eventually you'll learn how to spell it ☕

[@AmetafJohora]

its a bop

[@ZaddyOG]

Enjoy this before it gets canceled. It’s definitely getting canceled.

[@laurenk5379]

Hannah Berner is a comedian? Funny I only know her as the girl who got fired from Summer House.

[@KylETISZAI]

Funny, I don't know you because a mad itch

[@sainttaint3585]

Wow a period joke less than a minute in. Girls are smart and funny, get over it

[@LycanLink]

"Straight guys with good taste." Wait, guys who like rock bands like Foo Fighters, Rise Against, and System of a Down don't have good taste? D:

[@cm9241]

System of a Down is like not even close to those other 2.

[@briansneary7535]

Women's rights is the best joke

[@MadAboutBrows]

No your parents' massive mistakes are WAAY worse

[@briansneary7535]

@@MadAboutBrows Unlike yours missed an opportunity for a feminist victory

[@user-ho8br1cw8c]

These people are not funny.

[@milestones140]

This shows gonna get canceled

[@ariellebotwinick1537]

I’m sick about a woman linking her behavior to her period. That’s unintentional sexism. So much of our vernacular is sexist and we are not even aware of it.

[@Raddiebaddie]

Sooooo this is a comedy show and everything they say here is a ✨joke✨

[@rachel5399]

Babe, all this comment is going to do is guarantee someone coming into your replies saying, "well, I guess someone's on their period." I'm calling it out now to ruin their impending fun, but you really have to lighten up, I'm sure that flow is heavy enough.

[@maxpayne232]

Is this the "Let's just shit on men" episode ?!

[@KylETISZAI]

When isn't it tho

[@maxpayne232]

@@KylETISZAI It can be a lot of fun sometimes depending on the guests but with people like Hannah Berner what can you expect ? Her entire Stand Up is 25 % shitting on men and making fun of their hobbies and 75 % trashy sex talk. She truly gives female comedians a bad reputation.

[@cm9241]

I think that's just you, covered in your own shit.

[@nadjak3410]

How many male comedians do you know that constantly talk about sex and about how obnoxious women and their interests are... Be honest. You know a lot. They've probably been accused of stuff, but never of "giving male comedians a bad rep". Lol. That's so ridiculous.

[@maxpayne232]

Not sure exactly who you are referring to. The only one that comes to my mind right now is Louis CK but I've never been much of a fan anyway. I like John Mulaney and Pete Holmes. They've never been accused as far as I know. And they tend not to shit on women in their act and if they would there would be uproar and consequences on social media nowadays. But It's become way too socially acceptable for women to just shit on men and this whole "men or bear" thing has proven that. This shit would never be acceptable if the sexes were reversed and people wouldn't be talking about It in such a light and fun way. It's not only ignorant but It's actually sexist to condemn an entire demographic because a few of them have done bad things. It's like saying "All my muggers were black so therefore... "

[@wiredforstereo]

Pass.

[@MadAboutBrows]

Ditto, ew

[@UnderstandingDarkness]

I guess they can’t all be funny episodes. 😂 🤦‍♀️

[@MadAboutBrows]

Your depression isn't her problem, seek help "darkness" 👎

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

The whole "Man or Bear?" thing is completely idiotic. It overgeneralizes both men and bears and makes no sense.

[@MadAboutBrows]

You're a bad person, congrats I guess

[@rachel5399]

A bear wouldn't say this.

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

@@MadAboutBrows How am I a bad person?

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

@@rachel5399 I bear wouldn't say anything, lol.

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

@@MadAboutBrows You are a much worse person than I am, now that I have seen all the other offensive comments you have made about me for no reason.

[@SheevX66XPalpatine]

I hope it wasnt half-serious because low-key, taylor you dont decide if you are funny, other people do. So like, unsolicited comments on your comedy is kinda all your audience. And all audiences in general

[@ananananabop]

Wow, her joke struck a chord there huh?

[@MadAboutBrows]

OH you think your opinion matters 😂👎

[@MadAboutBrows]

​@@ananananabop he's a delicate little thing

[@cm9241]

Exact target of the joke here, dudes who feel the need to tell women professionals how to do their job. She gets paid to make jokes, you don't. Let me guess, you constantly tell women to smile more and make them take their earbuds out to listen to your unwanted comments.