The #1 SHOCKING secret about your narcissistic relationship

[@danmcdonald8522]

Excellent video. The narc is always miserable and sneaking around for some kind of thrill or pleasure.These creatures are diabolical and impulsive. They have no conscience or regrets. Stay away. God bless.

[@life-rethought]

the lowest and pettiest of thrills. it cant be twisted enough.

[@rkvic1919]

This is the best narc advice on KZbin. Short and to the point 👌🏽

[@lindsay3793]

Exactly this: The nicer that you are to them, the more they think to themselves, "Maybe I could do better." 1:40

[@Merbella]

Yep, because they think, if you were good to them, someone else will be too.

[@thinkingallowed7042]

Instead of appreciating what they have and thinking how lucky they are, when they see how devoted you are to them, they get a hunger for more control and power, then when you don't live up to expectations, they start finding fault with you and thinking that you're not up to their standards, so they really start abusing you then, convinced they can do better. The fact is, with this mentality, they will eventually end up with nobody at all. That's the karma that comes to them. Once they had someone out of their league, then they can't get anyone at all. 😆

[@Healing70x7]

So true. I did everything for my narc, I gave him money to set up a business, which I also helped by working there, I cooked for him and didn't ask him to help with the housework, gave up on my desire to be a mother because he can't have children and in the end he listed me all the reasons why I deserved to be mistreated. He wanted to take more. They are exploiters.

[@AlanBoldt]

My Ex long distance GF , would treat me like garbage and than got upset when I expressed my anger toward her...And she once said...I didn't do anything wrong..in her delusional world...omg....she couldn't believe that I or anyone could ever be upset with her sick behavior... because her words ,even though false ,were what matters , not her behavior...like everyone is stupid... pretending u didn't see what she does...and only believe what she says...Sick Sick Sick... beyond anything I've ever seen in my life...

[@tjfSIM]

"pretending u didn't see what she does...and only believe what she says" - that line really struck a chord. That's exactly what they hope will happen - that we take everything they say as reality, and ignore their actions. It sounds silly but it really does mess with the mind when someone's telling you they love you, while at the same time treating you like shit. The brain simply cannot reconcile the two things, so it chooses to believe the one which feels nicer, and tries to minimalise or rationalise the other.

[@dahliafiend]

⁠@@tjfSIMyeah I feel mentally Ill from the experience. I thought my ex was the love of my life. In reality she doesn’t even like me and I am still trauma bonded she left me when my father died with lies so she could sleep with a handsome taller friend of hers for five months then came back and said she loved me and wanted to try again as if I was to blame for something. She played with me for another year while we lived together then dumped me and had a relationship with a crack addict ( she’d dumped me for being “mean”. Mean to her is calling her out on her actions and lying. She’s now married to a rich older man and did a big smear campaign so her gross behavior never comes to light. I’m just her pathetic ex. I’ve had cancer twice since she left me. I didn’t realize or accept initially the amount of abuse and manipulation she took out on me. So much anger on me. I was constantly apologizing. I feel like I’ve lost my sense of reality. Losing my parents and fighting cancer alone. As she’s gotten married and I’ve realized every word of love was a lie I was just a younger guy to sleep with till marrying her rich retiring coworker. It feels like I’m waking up to a nightmare that’s all true. Her ex before me also got cancer then took his life. She really hurt me. Very covert initially but eventually super cruel.her wedding photos on Facebook had a comment “finally I met a good man”. I’d rather have been beaten then go through the sickening gaslighting again. I need help but feel therapists don’t get it. Of course the big ones on KZbin don but the average every day therapist my insurance pays for just act like it was another breakup. Basically I’m living in her reality. She’s won because she’s popular and pretty. I am going to leave my hometown hopefully for good so I don’t have to risk seeing her again. She came into a cafe I was at with her husband and her whole sweet wholesome act she used on me is now used with this rich senior citizen. She replaced me like a new iPhone. I’d thought she was my soulmate she was so believable until I got sick and I saw she didn’t care at all. There’s no love there. She can only fake it for her benefit. Sex or now that’s she aging: money and a lifestyle.

[@life-rethought]

he kept telling me "its not personal". but when someone is screaming and spitting and calling you the foulest of labels possible.. I couldnt let him vent on me. or more like vomit on me :). they still clearly choose when where and with who they show their true filth to.

[@dyoung2739]

Narcissists are lower than snakes 🐍.

[@dodibenabba525]

This is the most astute video I've seen on narcissism. 3 minutes of pure golden facts!

[@Adam-xs3ng]

You are correct, the reason they got with you is to leave you, no matter what you do. It's crazy making, it's nothing to do with you or your behaviour. It's another chance for them to try and separate from a maternal figure which they were unable to do as a child. That's their driving force, it's a repetition compulsion.

[@elenastathis8675]

Would love to learn more about the need to separate from a maternal figure. My ex's mother was very controlling, and he was codependent on her financially at times into adulthood. Thank you.

[@charlottemckenzie5259]

the analogy of the worst partner being treated the same as the best partner is so healing

[@davidemm829]

When they treat you like you are someone else, your jaw drops, this is their internalized version of you, which is really them..crazy yet ....true😮

[@Mindboggle100]

Danielle deserves recognition for the Public Service she provides with her astute advice. Learning from her uploads, literally can save your sanity, in the mad world of narcissism...

[@tarekahmad2978]

Facts on facts, starting to realize the level of evil I have escaped from narcissistic family and ex spouse, thank God, just thank God everyday. Pour into yourself and connect with others who understand each other.

[@Healing70x7]

Thank you for sharing this! I am in no contact with my family, escaping my narc husband now.

[@Freespiritedqueen]

​@@Healing70x7same

[@lindak8447]

Okay, this view has been running through my mind lately. No matter what I would have done to try and save the relationshit, it would not have mattered. The abuse was going to happen whether I was a saint or a sinner. The love bombing stage is really the only time the artificial affection happens. It’s not about me or anyone else. It’s about him being the demon in the flesh that he is. Any body can get it especially if you cause a narcissist injury (saying no to them). I guess that the bottom line is don’t take it personally which is sometimes hard on me after being narcissistically abused for 30 years. GOD WITH HIS MERCY AND GRACE IS HEALING ME IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, Amen.

[@anneyoung2310]

Wow! Thank you! I have no desire to reconnect with any narcissist, but it's still nice to hear that it is not about the victim, where the narcissistic perpetrator is concerned.

[@JN3-16]

Great analogy as to why the narc, narcs. It’s akin to a random person on the street yelling at you, for no reason. It’s NEVER about you, it’s Their disorder. Keep moving forward and enjoy your peace.

[@kilpel2]

This is exactly what I needed, thank you sweet lady!

[@athalyerajan2823]

I notice this with my narc Wife. She can try to be nice only so long then the scorpion comes out. Thx to what i know now. I just walk away plug my ears !! This has been protecting me for a while now along with therapy. I cannit wait to someday walk away from 30 years of living hell though.

[@life-rethought]

why wait? give YOURSELF the gift of dignity and respect...

[@ep3629]

You just described the narc that's terrorized ne for the last few years!

[@tnmantn8938]

Absolutely correct…you cannot love a narc to recovery….

[@Doodlefisher]

Thank them for their revealing themselves to you early.

[@Imnotyourdoormat]

Danielle must have been the inspiration for the girl in the Rascal Flatts song "Fast Cars and Freedom".... "I know you think you do, but baby you don't need it"

[@irene-jo3qh]

I agree you never get it right with them .they will suck the whole life out of you.very insightful. Thank you

[@Ravencef]

I spent 30 years... I would never regret my children, but I regret all the years I spent and going through 4 discards and 3 hoovers before I woke up.

[@km-my4un]

Both of my parents were narcissists, the supposed love of life was a horrible narcissist, I suffered so much from them. at least now I am mature enough to see the warning signs and take precautionary boundaries.

[@heatherbowman9450]

649 likes advocate queen👱‍♀️👸🧜‍♀️🧚‍♀️🏃‍♀️💃👯‍♀️

[@melanieholmes3316]

Great insights. Thank you for all your efforts and hard work to post these videos. Yeah, I died a thousand deaths trying to relate to and befriend a new supervisor at my dream job. It was a brutalizing experience to go through. They are heartless people and only want to excel in Their career ambitious for self-glory. You are 100% right in your insights. Your words will save people a lot more than three years. I lost more. Thank you Danielle!

[@cleanslate2247]

OMG this is hitting so close to home. My wife and I have been separated for over a year now. I initially tried being extra nice and doing even MORE than 80% of all the chores around the house. Then I left and went grey rock. She missed me and wants me back, but with NO extra effort on her part. Then I tried being kinda standoffish, I told her I was seeing someone else, and I did get SOMEWHAT better results back..... But still no fundamental change, and now she's pretty quick tempered about "the other woman". It is just really hitting me that this is a dead end and she will likely get worse as she ages.......

[@lindsay3793]

Well no 💩, if there's another woman she will be mad (translation: HURT). That has nothing to do with being a narc. Are you the narc? You seem to lack empathy on that part.

[@CroisMoi]

They do only get worse as they age. They become even more mental. Ignore anyone who says otherwise.

[@CroisMoi]

@@lindsay3793. Why are you abusing this man? You need to be supportive or shut up. We have all been abused enough.

[@life-rethought]

absolutely will shrivel up into the essence of evil.. I saw my father shrivel up like the wicked witch in the wizard of OZ... " im melting !!!:)"

[@racebannon96]

Be careful making a narcissist jealous, they will retaliate against you. I would not be giving her any info on anything. Anything you say or do will be used against you. I went through this years ago. The ex-wife went nuts after she moved out and no longer control the kids and me. I got the divorce done as quickly as I could, it took 5 months. She was always trying to get info on me by using our kids during her visitation. She married her affair partner. Now she is his's problem.

[@steffiekensley8743]

Precisely! But, they will tell you they're not like this with anyone else and that you make them rage at you. No, you don't make them do anything. They do what they want when they want because they feel entitled to. So, what exactly do you have to do with that? Nothing but they want you to believe you have everything to do with it. It's magically all your fault and they are blameless for choosing their own actions. Huhhhhhhh?!?!!!!! 🤯 Honestly, they're responding to the dialogue in their head, not you. But, instead of employing a modicum of self-awareness to figure this out, it's easier to blame the objectified human standing next to them than to crack the simple code on their own lunacy driven projection. Narcissists can choose better even with their disorder but They Don't Want To! This is what makes it so impossible. How do you continue to support someone who's trying to annihilate you? You don't. You escape that hell as soon as humanly possible by finally choosing you. You're not a lost cause. You can heal and it all starts with one lucid moment of clarity and usually a lot of divine intervention. ✝️💞🆓️

[@Freespiritedqueen]

Same realization came to me sister! ❤ Love to you and yours. 😊

[@charleswells4822]

Damn girl thats some cold sht'they resent you for loving them' it is what it is thank you for that..

[@EXSlimShady8798]

I lost my 3 years. Watching this now

[@billyjean2960]

I totally get it and have contemplated this deeply! I have been saying if I hadda a million bucks and could offer the world I speculate the relationship would go the same; maybe even worst! They are what they are and they do what they do miss cutie pie :)

[@billsix]

Taylor Swift wrote a song about "a narc is gonna narc narc narc" but it didn't rhyme with the rest of the chorus

[@nicholecornes1915]

😂 they could gain the whole world and still be miserable

[@Kaif08610]

This is gold. Thanks Danielle.

[@MrNatural73]

100% True.

[@charlottemckenzie5259]

my narc mom tells me I treat everyone the same, she sanes I'm exactly the same to her as a stranger on the street. ITS NOT PERSONAL PEOPLE. if the treat their own daughter like a piece of garbage they treat everyone like that. they are only nice if they want something from you and then you go into the trash

[@diontillman3132]

Thank you sweetheart😂❤❤❤❤

[@lindatallon9217]

How do we ban them from society.........

[@LittleLulubee]

Thank you 💙

[@ramanank9273]

Thank you

[@bobspamail]

You can’t have a rational conversation with an irrational person.

[@larrystrange-i5c]

Good information

[@annwe6]

Narcs play narc games and win narc prizes. Just look at older narcissists who have either completely lost or never possessed the most precious things in life: love, care, loyalty, kindness, and a warm spirit. It's really quite sad.

[@danielskyles6184]

Great word Danielle!

[@Justice55339h]

Point taken but I'm sure if you wefe much worse, they would treat you much worse. With dangerous narcs they could become much more abusive or deadly.

[@atsyed87]

Damn this hits like a sledgehammer lol

[@cowboynohorse]

I can still love my narc ex. I just never want to see or speak to her ever again.

[@soulsurfer5531]

TRUE about the Narc’s Behavior having Nothing to do with You. But ROAD RAGE IS REAL. People get into accidents & get killed. Growing up in Boston it is part of the culture. We’re called Massholes for a reason. Call us all Narcs on the road. But out of the car it’s the exact same percentage of Narcs as anywhere else. Do NOT even think about driving from/to Logan Airport.

[@hallorthodonticsTMJ]

It really isnt personal with a Narcissist. They never attach themselves to someone, so their partners are like possessions, not humans. I am sure you are educated, but much of your knowledge seems to be "first person" experience. Thank you for the messages.

[@davidm4566]

She knows too much to just know it from a book. She is always so accurate.

[@hallorthodonticsTMJ]

Exactly. Possibly she has experience with more than 1 narc relationship in family or personally. Or, she discovered that she has narc tendencies, and thus has remarkable insights to motives, patterns and cycle behaviour? @@davidm4566

[@GoogleUser-kl7qu]

They actually prefer bad partners.

[@davidemm829]

I'm ( was ) a washing machine stuck on spin cycle.. briefly...appliance it is..then they partially break it, so they have problem, which justifies their inner emotional landscape which also justifies their superiority..blah..

[@officiis10]

Aesop!

[@casperinsight3524]

💯💥🎯

[@jdf3434]

It helps and hurts to hear the truth.

[@joannlove3414]

excellent POV

[@danovangrinnell4479]

On all spectrum especially sex 😊

[@Doodlefisher]

You’ll always be the bad guy!

[@casperinsight3524]

Its not you 🤯 Phew 😅

[@rwdchannel2901]

A lot of people probably don't live in your democrat controlled city so they don't know what its like to be yelled at by some psycho when out in public, but your point still stands.

[@emmarae4322]

Leave politics out of this.

[@lovelyoungman]

💯👍

[@jamesduffy3729]

Thank you 🙏

[@ep3629]

Thank you!