The #1 Trick For Bringing A Narcissist To Justice

[@nancykay4128]

My ex-husband knew my biggest fear was lack of money so he’d yell at me that I’d soon be homeless with 3 kids and living in the most dangerous part of town without a car- all this after 20 yrs of marriage. I learned to stop taking his phone calls and blocked all communications except thru attorneys. I went to therapy twice a wk and found my own power deep within.

[@SangeetaGupta-ov3rq]

Thankyou for sharing your story,i hoped it was more explained if you were comfortable as i am going through the nightmare and peoples's stories help other people believe me.They read comments more than watching the related video

[@SangeetaGupta-ov3rq]

Try to be happy as i am trying too!

[@rachelj3933]

One thing you might not be aware of is the fact that your ex-husband has (perhaps unwittingly) has put a "curse" on you and your three children by stating that you all will be homeless, which make those in that situation attract bad elements and thereby much more vulnerable. Such curses are ill-wishes pronounced by the spoken word. Unless they are broken, then you and your children will most likely wind up like he predicted!

[@SangeetaGupta-ov3rq]

@@rachelj3933 give hope please as we need it...don't scare the person who is wide awake as its useless....why would you say that?no one will end up having bad destiny or whatsover you are saying,they will have a healthy,happy and wealthy life...

[@SangeetaGupta-ov3rq]

@@rachelj3933 shame on you! IF YOU CAN'T HELP HER THEN don't TALK RUBBISH.YOU ARE a lady YOU SHOULD SUPPORT A LADY!

[@kingdomwomenaftergodsheart4328]

The best way to bring a narcissistic person to justice Be successful without them.... Act like they never existed..... It kills them

[@mrmopar8939]

This true, I did this to my brother, he went crazy and then the first time we spoke in 4 years and he starts yelling at me and putting me down and trying to Bragg about his life. Piece of crap

[@whygohome172]

@@mrmopar8939 I have a brother JUST like yours!

[@whygohome172]

@@bluecrystalwolfqueen9268 narcs don't put up with boundaries. They get butt-hurt if you try to have boundaries.

[@ariessoldiersmilitaryaffil6656]

Yes my Nieghbor vandalize my car she Park’s In our parking spaces and she comes out the door stands by my door talks loud and she lies , and talks loud lies to the landlord

[@HerbalND]

It might drive them crazy but unfortunately they just abuse you more in response to get you back.

[@sazzy2121]

Not seeking justice anymore. I just want him completely out of my life! I’m starting not to care anymore. I hope that means I’m healing.

[@zwerina56]

No contact is the only solution - no matter who they are.

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

I so agree zwerina56, or strict modified, which can be done through 3rd parties in the case of legal battles xoxo

[@vickiprazza6533]

Never thought It would have to come to this but here I am. No contact is the only solution! There is no fixing them. No saving them and no loving them , sorry I tried.

[@zwerina56]

Vicki Prazza It is sad but remember the torture they put you through & be reminded that you never want to go there again. They still work behind the scenes trying to ruin your reputation & triangulate friends & family into their quarter but you will learn that those who fall for their lies or support them, have their own issues with you too.

[@cortesione]

Unless there are children.

[@Ellie0225]

Sadly, I think you are right! :-(

[@gloriannepapolis3191]

emotional neutrality is the key, do not show vulnerability, fear, sadness,... cut off his supply, I love that!

[@katenkaren6692]

Or consideration...

[@ricardoseales6501]

I'm in a court battle now for false accusations of sexual harrassment and sexual assault there is no evidence. Of me doing an of this and I don't have a criminal record at all and two court dates have been cancelled .on me due to a translator the woman needs a translator first it was to be done in Spanish and now after this is to be done in French I think this is all a tactic of delay .

[@ricardoseales6501]

What is your advice please reply

[@srspart]

gray rock

[@srspart]

stay calm show no emotion don't let them break you..easier said than done... document document document everything

[@jonduncan3950]

THE best justice IS getting away from the NARS and heal and GET healthy AND live your life, pitty THEM, and move on

[@jonduncan3950]

Sarah great for u

[@vermontsmostobesetubaplaye1988]

Right on, Jon.

[@neogbfe3587]

You're right, it's a sense of freedom when it's done and over. I went grey rock for 2 years, then I was eventually devalued. I had to turn the tables around in the end, I wanted them to see what it was like If i acted like they did. They showed their true colors. I walked away for good, and it's been wonderful. I'm not judged or admirated by anyone, but myself.

[@Dizzy_N]

@Jon Duncan if it were only that black and white.

[@wizardofahhhs759]

@@neogbfe3587 But it's never done and over, the stalking and destruction of private property (such as seeing your car parked somewhere and flattening your tires, or busting out a window, or setting fire to your shed, or breaking into your home, you get the point) can continue for many years. A lot of narcs are fuckin' psychopaths who the law won't punish or they have a crazy card which basically makes them exempt from their actions.

[@ThePancakeJedi]

The biggest flaw of the narcissist is his/her inability to emphatise. The narcissist is selfish and delusional.

[@danab172]

Spoken like a narcissist. 💦

[@danab172]

@@ThePancakeJedi narcissist are manipulative and make others believe they are selfish and delusional.

[@danab172]

@@ThePancakeJedi You could be.

[@galenyoung8349]

Do you mean empathize? Sorry, i've not ever seen that emptha... word. My bad. Not that ur wrong, just thats a new one on, me? ✌️

[@ThePancakeJedi]

@@galenyoung8349 Yes empathize.

[@deeprollingriver5820]

I don’t want to bring a narcissist to justice. I’m too busy walking away and loving my life without their toxic smell

[@zsazsastratton]

YESSSSS!!! ME TOO LOVE❤️.

[@gammondog]

Yes. Total detachment is best. Justice will be dealt out by another person. One narcissist I had to work with eventually got fired for insubordination. Another got his front teeth knocked out while cutting in front of somebody in a soup line. Both told the wrong target to go f$&@ themselves. Best let another hand wield the hammer of justice.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Justice is they get to live with themselves. Off we go then! ☺️

[@flickeringlight4307]

Awesome!!!!🎆💝

[@donnawaters4700]

Ok but I feel like I don't won't other people to suffer what I am suffering something has to be done I feel I wasted 17 years but I am getting there I did not realise there was such cruel people around

[@penelopelambson9128]

I agree 100%. Never show your vulnerability to a narc, hoping to touch their hearts, to establish connection, to relate. . They will suck your vulnerability ...and you.. in like a vacuum, to sustain themselves. They do not want to connect, relate, attune. They just want control and power. Your narc isn’t special, or different. He or she will strive to keep you weak and confused. Take Melanie’s advice... Turn off their supply. Thank you for these videos!

[@agena1911ify]

Yes

[@vermontsmostobesetubaplaye1988]

Yes.

[@XXXoutlawXXX01]

True very true sadly enough there is no reaching these demonic sick dark evil things

[@ladyb2423]

Wow. Hard to accept all I have been through this is true!!!!!!!! So cruel

[@pebblebeach5126]

Attempting to heal the narcissist's injured true self with empathy and connection terrifies them. Often this backfires with them projecting that true self back onto you. This inability to receive empathy may be why therapy with cluster B's is so notoriously difficult. Sadly, it seems like the best way to deal with narcissists as we inevitably cross paths with them in life is to give them superficial complements that support the image of their false self while remaining emotionally distant ourselves.

[@SB-mk7wp]

Just walk away. And never look back. That kills them.

[@Allsmilelovee]

Yeah that’s easy to say when you don’t have children with one. I can’t seem to escape!! I wake up in a nightmare daily because I have to communicate with my abuser because I’m forced to by court because of us sharing custody. The court and even cps eat out of his hand and don’t see through him. It’s absolutely nerve wrecking 😭

[@221b-Maker-Street]

That’s step two - it’s not justice, though. 🤔

[@anusharanjith6837]

I also do that now😊

[@dawnemile4974]

Tell them you love even after you leave and never look back. This shows them that their cruelty didn't affect you negatively and now they have no access to your love.

[@cynthiayakushev3482]

#2. That was me with my narc daughter who was living with me. When I told myself that I am willing to lose everything, I won back myself 100% in an instant!! I relinquished all my possessions and moved away. Now I work on my new life, my new mindset and thrive on each minute of life and living in the “now.” 101 days no contact today.

[@endswithme555]

Cynthia Yakushev this is the KEY to freedom from anything! Always be ready to lose it all. When you are ready to lose it all is when you get you back!!!

[@charylshiver89]

Turn them over to God Almighty let him judge them Amen because they won't change

[@tyrellwilson9334]

Or better; be their God Almighty and sentence them to hell

[@salehamasood4691]

Will they be punished ? Or will GOD let them go ?

[@paulkennedy6823]

After realising i was dealing with a major narc and after watching narc videos and working hard I had been hoovered back in. I was ready to fight with emotions but managed to stop myself as i was going to write a very emotional email and decided if by morning i still felt like that i would send it. Your video made so much sense about not fighting with emotions but to defeat by getting stronger and i am so happy I watched it. it's put me on a much stronger course and much more focused direction. I already feel so much better

[@wogbornagain]

I've been bringing justice to NARCS since childhood. I SCARED AWAY every NARC that my mother ever dated🤣🤣🤣 I'M MY MOMS SOLDIER👊💪👑😁💯

[@janedoh123]

Excellent I've been listening to his monologue of how he doesn't like drama, yet it follows him everywhere

[@rogerrowe4757]

Melanie, you have strengthened me to take on the narcissist in my life. I was the guy willing to roll over and give up just to be free. We have property with quite a bit of equity that I have maintained for years. She said she will not sell and split the money, that she will keep it and not give me a dime. This video showed me just what I was doing, still being the empath! I am tired of this abuse and will do the steps to expose her for what she is. Thank you

[@shellshellshell5126]

Contact a real estate attorney, she can be forced to sell and split the proceeds with you as long as your name is on the deed!

[@amead5248]

ROGER ROWE It appears thats a favourite tactic of Narcs. It’s so common there should be a real estate firm that specializes in marketing real estate co-owned by narcs. I’ve been married to one for 28 years but I won’t be for 29 years.

[@warrencardwell6706]

I have no desire to bring my narcissist ex-wife to justice, I have forgiven her and released her into Gods hands and His judgement and justice. I do pray for her salvation and to have a blessed future free from being a narcissist.

[@jessekimxx]

what happens if she is born again saved and a narcissist?

[@warrencardwell6706]

@@jessekimxx if she was truly born again and saved then Jesus would have to transform her life away from being a narcissist, as I don't think she can remain a narcissist if she is truly born again and saved.

[@waukivory2756]

I’ve done the same thing. Her justice is in Gods hands - I pity her future.

[@warrencardwell6706]

@JESSE KIM you need to keep praying and asking Jesus and the Holy Spirit for victory in your situation, rather if that means leaving the narcissist and divorcing them, or to believe God to set them free from being a narcissist, but this is almost impossible with most narcissists because of their false pride and fake ego telling them they are never at fault and are perfect. I pray Jesus will guide you on the right path and give you both the strength and wisdom to follow the right path that God has for your life, either with or without the narcissist.

[@imperfectillustration6261]

Warren C interested to know if you had any support from your church? I’m in a similar situation now but well meaning people at church don’t understand narcissism and are telling me to just love her more. They don’t see the evil that I’m privy to.

[@ItsMeSadeNYC]

Awesome! Cut off what they feed off of, especially fear/ any show of emotion. Don't give off a vibe that you are getting bothered by them. They like that energy. They like pain, drama, attention. Get your power back and keep it. Again, awesome video. Thank you!!

[@Markus-gf7su]

It's my second time listening to this video. I just realized I got even more out of the video the second time I watched it. I will be rewatching some of your other videos too. You have a gift for showing people how to heal and look at the narc dynamic in a different light that makes them less powerful. The more I learn the weaker my ex seems. Before I used to think she was all-powerful and to be feared.

[@snayar77]

Melanie, all of your videos are gems. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me heal from decades of abuse. I am so very greatful for having encountered you and your healing modules. I love you loads, angel. Bless you!! And bless all of us working towards becoming our authentic selves.

[@RantTherapist]

g e m s

[@violetrose56]

Narcissists convince you they have all the power but you have 100% of it

[@jimi8fun235]

My brother is the narc in the family and I used to dread meeting him with his sniping and sneering. Now , although it,s unpleasant meeting him I have the power through knowledge not to get emotional that way he has nothing to feed off. It works! He can,t deal with that and adopts a bored and fed up look of disappointment. Thank you thank you. Love your posts.😀

[@vmm5163]

That's brilliant ! I have an older sister like that. She's 63 but will go into a toddler grump and sulk when she's lost the upper edge on anyone. She then expects them to ask what the matter is and why she's scowling. Trouble is if you don't indulge her she says awful things about you to others. It's so much hard work. Keep on !!

[@jimi8fun235]

@@vmm5163 Thanks for the reply. 50 years I,ve endured my brothers abuse and left me trying to workout what I did wrong. It,s unsettling when it,s a sibling as there are family connections so it,s difficult to go no contact. Melanie is right to point out that our own insecurities are the narc bread and butter. God bless😀

[@dickflinghammer7643]

@@vmm5163 That's my brother. Lying backstabbing liar and my mother too. They are the same and enjoy making each other miserable all day. I won't go near them without a camera recording. Fuck them I hope they die.

[@vermontsmostobesetubaplaye1988]

@@jimi8fun235 , my brother, a narc, still bitches that I owe him a dollar from the 1975 SuperBowl.

[@jimi8fun235]

@@dickflinghammer7643 Hey that's what do. I always have a covert recorder going when I know he's coming. Evidence is whats needed when dealing with these toxic people. He push it too far one day and have a visit from the police.

[@teresarodriguez821]

You said it so powerfully from your own experience 'to let go of everything count losses and save your life'. Thank you! for giving us credit on the healing path.

[@stevendeshazo3741]

I let them think whatever they wanted to think. I kept what I had in my bag of tricks to myself. I listened to them in the background. I studied, researched an let them show their cards first. I would simply say NO! When they attacked me physically, the fights didn't last long. They couldn't try me again, they were in no shape to.

[@queenb1181]

well thats good

[@vincentdolente7053]

He keeps telling me IM the one abusing. IM the one that's manipulating and IM the crazy one. Pretty much says hes sorry and want's to change all teary eyes one min then never does it? He will admit to x y and z but never to the main issue that he was doing it in the first place? Only "I did this because you did bla bla bla"

[@ronaldmartino2610]

With all due respect. You don't need to bring a narcissist to justice, you need to bring them to an exorcist. They may know you and you may have shared your deepest secrets and fears with them but you have to remember , you know them as well. It was usually tit for tat. You shared something they shared something. They remember and use it but they don't think that you will remember and use it. They are so self centered that they simply feel empowered because of what they know so, USE IT! USE WHAT YOU KNOW! Disarm and walk away. You don't have to necessarily walk out of their life, just turn and walk away. They count on weakness. They count on you being afraid to loose them. Incidently, if you have identified them as truly being a narcissist and not just a selfish idiot, you defuse the situation. If they are truly one of these defective people, you will NEVER defeat, disarm or bring any kind of justice as they are totally incapable of absorbing and understanding what you are trying to say and they are incapable of any form of empathy or responsibility. Be strong, know who and what you are and you will see when looking at them a person that is slowly driving themselves insane. Their pain and self loathing is so great that you need not seek judgement or revenge. From their own mouth will come their judgement! If you have to heal from being blindsided as We usually are, understand that this attack and attempt to discard that they believe will destroy you is only happening because they have discovered a parachute and have decided to use it. (a new supply) In fact if they leave, you've lost nothing becsuse you had nothing real to begin with. Look back at the service and companionship they gave you, the love bombing and what goes with it and thank them and tell them you wish them the best in their new endeavor. Just because they are incapable of empathy doesn't mean you have to be. You're free. No more walking on egg shells, no more waiting for the other shoe to drop and maybe someone in the future who will appreciate the unconditional love you are capable of giving. It took me 31 years for this to come to a head and still she hasn't left. There is nothing left between us but it was 29 decent years for me and apparently 31 years of me abusing her so she says. So my question is, why did she stay? She stayed because it wasn't 31 bad years, she got all she needed out of it and so did I. So move on. They follow, just don't allow yourself to get sucked into their dark world again. I pity her pain, her self loathing, her alcoholism and depression. I know God can heal her if she'd only ask for healing from him but how can you ask for healing from something you are in denial about having. Pray for them and then pray more. Only the glory and grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ can help them. You benifited from what appeared to you to be real and there was value in it for you and most of it was probably real. Anyway, long I know but I just had to put this out there because I sometimes think the victims of narcissism take on the role of victim a little too soon. Know who and what you are, self reflect on your achievements, understand that your success is why they stayed with you and that their attempted departure is becsuse they can no longer control you and the mask is off and they are terrified. The grass looks greener and they can paint themselves the victim to some poor unsuspecting sap who will wallow in self pity with them. Well I said what I had to say, hate it or like it but be tough, don't be walked on or used as a doormat, your much better than that or they wouldn't have been attracted to you in the first place. Have some fun, explore your newfound freedom enjoy your new life, it's cheaper now, you only have to pay for yourself. THRIVE! I wouldn't look for a new relationship as I believe it would be wrong, premature and will only complicate things. When you look, you find and at the moment it may not what you need. Your narcissist has met his or her match. God bless 🙏

[@norman-ankhlove7447]

Thanks

[@laVIEchef]

Thank you for sharing your personal experience and profound thoughts from such. God Bless, Love and Light to you and all who need it.*.•+•*+

[@ronaldmartino2610]

@@laVIEchef You are very welcome. I find that being open about my experience may help someone else. It was traumatic at first but also a blessing. It brought me closer to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ than I have ever been. He revealed so much to me and I will forever be grateful to him. May God bless, protect, defend and guide you as well. Until his return I lift you up to him as well in prayer, Amen🙏

[@gypsyfolkart]

@@ronaldmartino2610 I have been watching a bunch of tutorials about this subject. I am also in therapy once a week. My relationship lasted 6 years on and off. It was tumultuous. However, I do not have a problem saying that I did once love him at one point. I was happy. The love bombing was flattering although uncomfortable. There is no such thing as a waste of love. Yes, maybe I did waste some time after the love was gone. But I see it as I hadn't learned my lesson, so I continued to stay, even when there was zero respect or love. One day, it just clicked. It wasn't the worst day, and certainly not the best. Can't put my finger on it, and don't care to, but it just clicked. I was done. Tired, Exhausted, empty, drained. It was hard the first 3 months. I drank too much. I couldn't work, I had my pity party....but I knew I would pull through, so I embraced my depression knowing it would be temporary. Praying helps so much. It's necessary. God is Great and will listen to your cries. Loved your comment! Be well, and thanks so much for sharing!

[@jlicav407]

Great post Ron and super great advice! Thanks so much for your post here! I totally relate to ALL of it and agree with you!

[@donnawoodford6641]

Could have used this info three weeks prior when court case was scheduled. Rather than be traumatized in court, I accepted a settlement which was a bit lower. I was exhausted and didn't want to fight. I value my good mental health. Leading up to trial, it seemed my attorney believed the other party, always questioning me based on what the other party said. I didn't feel totally supported, so I decided to let go of the outcome, and trust in the Universe. It was three years eight months in the divorce process. Afterwards, Ex sent our son a copy of the settlement, portraying himself as a victim. Son doesn't understand what is equitable, but in time he'll know the truth. Starting over, I'm relieved bc one individual I know received relief from debt, and not a penny more. Both of us were married to narcs, and the divorce returned to us our freedom and sense of Self. 🌅 Being grateful seems to help me more.🕊️

[@eamonnsiocain6454]

It is uncanny how apt the timing of this video is. I have been falsely accused at work by a narcissistic supervisor. I've kept the emails and have prepared to present them at an evaluation I must attend next week. Thank you for your encouragement. I will stick to the facts without any emotionalism - just professionalism. Again, thank you.

[@kevinbrislawn5918]

My no contact was working well for 5 months. this last Sat. I was hanging up laundry outdoors at 9 a.m. and he just shows up! Weird! I had a small conversation with the parasite " he said something lame and a lie and I said no you don't have a new car..he's once again wasting my time..so I turned around went into my house and closed the door in his face! I didn't get upset to fuel him, no reactions from me, just a tad surprised //he'd been hovering for over 7 days with phone calls and knocked on my door. I handled it calmly..walked in my abode and closed the door and locked it! Yippieee!

[@mariahthomas1584]

I also call my ex a parasite🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 They always come back

[@ebutym67]

I am finally free of the narcissist. One of the First videos that I saw of you said to look inward and find out why we put up with the stuff. I did and I get it and it is over. Thank you a million times Melanie. It feels so good.

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

I am thrilled for you ebutym67, happy thriving hun xoxox

[@ebutym67]

Melanie thank you for your reply and thank you again for you and your time

[@claricetat1578]

Its really funny when i’ve moved on to improving myself they suddenly pay more attention to you lol

[@Busterthecat2009]

Yup mine got mean first

[@nnnnnnnnnnn7292]

clarice tat It only happens if you started improving yourself in a horisontal/material way. When you start growing your soul and empathy they run a mile. They can only use people they can control through their egotistic emotions.

[@lenali1]

This quote, by Alexander Sulzhenitsyn in his Nobelprize speech in the 1970s, came to my mind: "Violence cannot conceal itself behind anything except lies, and lies have no way to maintain themselves except through violence. Anyone who has once proclaimed violence as his method must inexerably choose falsehood as his principle."

[@ladyb2423]

Lena ! Ugh!!!! It’s true.

[@RantTherapist]

And falsehood and lies need constant falsehood and additional adjusting with more lies to keep the falsehood alive. Truth stands solid by itself through all time. Beautiful.

[@khairunishakhetikheti3273]

Helo jj ji nmste u mau na hi lkhu je 6 tei taf hmna ap karo hho ne jelma thda disehi tnej ado e nme hbh patea kare aaj smsa clnechjkri6 aru sri lya nre rhese eli chhokari temj karyu huchali thi skti voarthi batpom ma jhhu m buias6 me tena pase 4krod 5lakh mangu hhu 45ars thya gya hmna maggiya na khinhi dvv ne tremate koj thi tr maru aavahi ma oakhi jase aaj pan mne trpry ajkal ki nthi ye maru srrj joya6 tr komas khu ke aek mans 6 tethi me tene li tmne hiu ytari ichha puri karis cheln diti mardra diktotfaateaer korsnthi huj aamoila rs6 marro bbch mate kryo6 tme tei ja vgr mr bchv karo take nei frmeli jane nhu bdam thav prat o ijjat athana bal jetli hu muslim chhh thakyo hhelp kau te hoi6

[@DeanRendar]

stood my ground and admitted ive seen people outside their isolated stunted growth of behavior, everyone knows they fake misunderstanding when its convenient for petty revenge, and im no longer considering them that unselfaware as they know exactly what they do and it will NEVER be welcome by me in any situation. When I said, "I'll tell the others" that triggered so much emotion in them I knew I found their weakness, the fact I'm not for anyone who thinks I tolerate intentional misunderstanding to manipulate extra abusive emotions from me they are aware they inflict.

[@carloloturco1659]

Me too I left everything to save my life I went out the door and I never came back

[@Ellie0225]

I've had to do that with my only daughter. It hurts so bad...

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Can't imagine, Ellie 💐

[@Visitor-kk8gs]

Very difficult to get rid of them when they are a sibling, but totally agree you have to walk away. Wished I had diagnosed my sister earlier in my life.!! Very informative video. Thanks.

[@kariolsen3525]

I recently had a most painful experience with the narc in my life my ex husband and much to his surprise I was able to provide evidence that he could not wisel out of and I mirrored him to the full spectrum to him and didn't let up until he finally decided to leave me alone. I would never behave in such a manner and really it's ship difficult for me to grasp the truth that anyone could or would treat others in such horrific ways... But it finally put a stop to his voice mails the only area I'm not able to block him. After listening to your video I realized there's absolutely no need to second guess if that was right or wrong it stopped his contact and that was the goal.... I'm grateful for my healing journey I'm thankful no one can ever take that from me I'm empowered the wholeness I'm experiencing everyday as Papa God continues to reveal to me the beautiful being he's created me to be as I replace truth were I believed a lie and as I become more educated on this serious sickness called narcissism giving me the ability to separate my being from his being and distinctly being able to recognize the difference in our beings that's huge for me and really I thank my ex for without that horrible night mirror slapping me in the face I may of never looked so deep within myself to find that healing and freedom I've lived under my whole life... It's my positive coming from such a horrific negative.. My journey is still a progress but with tools such as your videos and many others the light at the end of the tunnel is no longer a veg distorted cloud but a ever so bright freeing realitie I love that and my gratitude is beyond measure

[@JohnBullard]

After 15 yrs. with a BPD spouse, your words here are some of the wisest and most helpful that I've found. Truly inspiring. Thanks for that.

[@deed8367]

What RECENTLY worked FOR ME; Cut them off 100%, expose them, (telling them you will tell others the truth about the fake relationship), and ENJOY YOUR LIFE, even if you live in the SAME house. Also, put yourself in a good position where you can ALWAYS call them ON THEIR bluffs or attempted blackmail. Thank God I finally figured him out. PEACE AT LAST after over a decade of madness.

[@janedoeeyed6814]

Do you live with him now

[@mayrasalinas1367]

same here i figured mine out already im still with him but now i don’t play his game i ignore him i don’t let anything he says effect me i try to be in peace in my own space i will not give him tge power and if he need his supplies to survive he can go look for it somewhere else

[@AllisonKhanAAK]

I live in the same house. My daughter named the Narc. I did the research and realized she was right. When he is in high Narc mode, it is essential to remove myself to another room. He gets the message. After he returns to his senses, everything returns to normal. I do not expect any positive feedback from him for home projects I work on, but if he gives any positive comment, that is just a bonus. I share with other family members instead. I realized that I am very independent by nature and I do not need his approval. Then, like she said, things shifted... It is my job to communicate what I need, but if he doesn’t see it that way, I move on. I always have a few projects on the go. It is very satisfying.

[@ThePancakeJedi]

Trick for bringin a narcissist to justice: You can't! Just exit stage left quietly and never let them contact you again.

[@cortesione]

Unless there are children.

[@sharonlieding7048]

x Pancake Guy x I did that. Quietly packed my things and didn’t say one word to him and walked out of the door and I haven’t talk to him cents and I won’t!

[@spiwolf6998]

Thank you! We depend on us, not our past!

[@crystallinawoy3432]

Thats exactly what I did a year ago and never looked back

[@McDonalds_remy]

You must realize that in many cases you cannot silently exit. Particularly if the narcissist has more money and is willing to use it to manipulate the court system against the other individual. Thank you @Melanie, this video empowered me to heal and to be brave enough to reveal my truth!

[@vermontsmostobesetubaplaye1988]

Thank you. I needed that today. I just had a death in the family and they, the narcs, tried to suck me back in. "Ya know, we all have to come together now". I didn't even go to the funeral of my father because "mom" is such a narc. The hell with it. All the flying monkeys would be there.

[@vermontsmostobesetubaplaye1988]

PS- love your cat, he(?) looks like a really nice one.

[@cheresmith5188]

We Empaths are all trying to heal and go on with our lives while The Narcissist just goes on to their next victim .... Why do the Narcissist get a free ticket to ride ? Shouldn't they pay for their childish actions ? Yes ! Empaths run like you're fleeing a burning building ! Narcissist have no conscious for you or even for their own sick , twisted , mental minds .

[@josephmueller3752]

There are not empaths or narcissists, there are only winners and losers, and caring and uncaring people. Caring for the wrong people will make oyu lose if you don't learn to be smart.

[@guesswho5409]

@@josephmueller3752 That's your opinion but there is a narcissistic personality disorder and normal people have empathy. It's a shame there's got to be mental illnesses in the world, that's just the way it is.

[@josephmueller3752]

@@guesswho5409 There are also people with huge empathy but who also have a huge narcissism. The DSM has simply not yet described well the pathology of narcissism, in fact, NPD is going to be removed in the next edition and get better described. The point is you can't really bastardize and classify so raw the complexity of human personality

[@guesswho5409]

@@josephmueller3752 there's no such thing of what you described lol NPD is a lack of empathy or none what so ever. Unfortunately we live in a world with psychopaths and sociopaths and many personality disorders associated mental illnesses. Call it what you will but some people don't have a conscience.

[@josephmueller3752]

@@guesswho5409 Narcissism is a measurable trait in people, it's more or less the same thing as self-love, too little is pathological just like too much. Not having empathy is a separate thing. NPD identifies those with too much narcisism and too little empathy but not necessarly, as I said it's badly definied

[@InvincibleJ]

I've been dealing with a narcissist. The second I realised what kind of person I was dealing with I was sick to my stomach and repulsed. I've been trying to understand why it happened (hence why I'm here) and trying not to beat myself up over being so naive. So here I am trying to determine the best course of action. I've don't need to deal with this abhorrent behaviour, I've been working on myself for too long to set my self back. His last message was SO telling, self pitying, guilt tripping, selfish. And then he deleted me... blocked me and has now deleted his profile. if he so much reaches out to me, no contact, He's getting no more from me. He's dead to me.

[@maryamidrees8076]

Thanks Mel for this amazing video soon I’ll be facing my narc husband in court so wish me luck

[@maryamidrees8076]

You can't leave this empty Yeah it really takes some guts to bring a narcissist to just as they are soooo sneaky and use your fears against you please pray for me I am freaking out

[@mixedchickULike]

@@maryamidrees8076 How expensive is this?

[@MouthyPrincess]

How did it go? Im going thru this rn. He will stop at nothing and will tell lies to point of lying under oath. Punishable up to felony and he has federal job.. the lies still hurt the children and me. Assasination of character

[@maryamidrees8076]

PRINCESS Dear Work in progress right now let’s see what happens but yeah it gets ugly... May god be with you at every step of your journey but if you stay strong freedom and happiness is on the other side.

[@fionam3735]

Maryam Idrees I’m going through court with a narc husband. Be prepared for lies, if he has money he will get the best lawyer and they will go for the aggressive tactics. He will want everything and if there self employed your stuffed. As for kids they will be the best dad in the world and will go after the kids. They will lie and they will bring everyone into your divorce (there professional victim perspective of course) Think end goal you will be free one day although they will mess you about for as long as they can playing the long game to ware you down! They won’t disclose everything. Good luck your not alone 🙏

[@marcymiller3287]

At what I thought was the end of my rope, I begged my narcissist husband to please make it stop. He said, "It will stop when you stop caring." Justice will never be served when they're an attorney.

[@michaelvlance]

Nice video Melanie. Not dealing with an N for a while now (grateful for that). Thanks for not editing out the tummy growl - I loved it (KZbin first for me).

[@louisejay8334]

Fantastic advice. I feel so much better and have only touched the surface of the Narp programme. I was living with an altruistic narc for 8 years and left with my little boy, even when I was still u healed and since then your healing 16 day free course has helped me so much to do that. I call him "The Thing" now and think nothing of him, all the shame and guilt is going and that's incredible for me. Also I have reconnected with my dad who passed away last year through NARP, which wasnt expecting but very grateful as with living with a narcissist and not really connected to my inner being, I hadn't grieved properly, so this has been a very pleasant and unexpected experience also which is helping me heal so much in other ways. I think anyone who is sceptical, ok that's fine, be sceptical, but just try it. It'll take no time out of your life to do one of Melanie's free workshops and what have you got to lose by doing it? Nothing. BUT everything to GAIN xx

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Louise, I am so happy for you that NARP has helped so much, and that you have had many levels of trauma released and relieved. Kudos to you for doing the inner work! Big love to you xoxox

[@louisejay8334]

Awww thank you Melanie. I say two-three different mantras of yours through the day too and it all really helps. So within so without. Thank you xxx

[@PLEX504]

I am so glad I came across this video. I'm signed up for tomorrow's webinar. I'm beyond ready to take my life back. My narc's mask came completely off almost two years ago, and it's been hell ever since.

[@surgicaltoolboxrnhealthbea3292]

I’ll bring one to Justice as a medical professional I can say I dealt with a narcissistic brother my whole life, The judge and lawyers know what they are and it will help your case.

[@ItsMeSadeNYC]

Heal up your gaps. Treat them as a non-being. Start proceedings yourself. Document, record any dealings. Expose them (their disordered self). Shine a light on that vampire.. lol!

[@ladyb2423]

Saadi X absolutely

[@vincentdolente7053]

Any time I told him about how he manipulated things or tottaly dissmissed anything I felt. I would get insults or laughed at like I was stupid or just crazy. Eventually I slowly researched into this subject and I wouldn't let his tricks work on me anymore. I simply tried to talk about these issues but he would turn it into something it didn't need to be or ignore me. Now he just outright says IM the one taking advantage. IM the one who didn't put any effort into fixing problems...? The more he understood I didn't wanna be with him anymore. The more the mask came off...

[@joebloggs2886]

Some very good points in this video & after my ordeal coupled with my life experiences I would like to share my observations. After years of working security & being a prison officer I've had alot of experience of monitoring behaviours but never encountered what I encountered with the ex wife. My advice is this. I personally found 4 control mechanisms used by the narcs to control you. It sounds simple but the trick is decifering the communication into emotions. The 4 control mechanisms are Love, guilt, shame & fear & will pretty much come at you throughout the relationship in that order. We start with love as the narc gets very physical very quickly & showers you with compliments & makes you feel amazing which hits your love mechanisms. It does make you feel good & has you jumping through hoops for them & you'll be on cloud 9. They'll be something missing though & will feel it. I called it the emotional flatline & couldn't put my finger on it to start with so I'll give you an analogy instead. Imagine your a loved up young pup & you rush home from work furious with cars in the way slowing you down from getting back & spending as much time as possible with this gorgeous being. You bound in through the door tail a wagging looking for validation & return of the same to be met with in my case a criticism over playing my car stereo to loud coming down the street before telling me I stunk of metal & pulling away in disgust as I went to kiss her. This gives you questions & starts to isolate you even though your in the same room as this thing that you once thought the most gorgeous thing alive. Anyway you get past the early knocks as your still very much in love then when the relationship starts to slow or your not doing the things they want they hit you with guilt. This can often be illness & will explain their need for them to slow down or pull back from supporting you in delivering the joint goals you once had. Mine was building structures in the back garden as I weld n fabricate for a living. As you feel guilty for slowing & potentially loading more work onto them you begin to pick up the pace again only to find yourself running out of steam again knocking the nuts out of it trying to deliver. This is where they hit you with shame. Shame as other husbands do it & this is often triangulated by one of the narc community you've come to trust. For me it was the mother in law. Off you go again but struggle & flag then they start having the conversation with you about not being happy & needing to try & reconnect. Mine was salsa lessons chosen by the wife. After being stood up all day in a factory & welding I got to go dancing to reconnect & yes you guessed it weren't the happiest as I would be dancing in pain & aching from work. When all else is exhausted they'll hit you with the disgard when your at your lowest eb. For me this was divorce & then threats of informing the police of me being abusive. The public smear campaign across social media caused fear. Accused of being abusive throughout our 9yr relationship. We were only married 7 so it was really strange trying to comprehend at first what she was up to & with working for the police herself I thought I was guna be arrested & potentially fined or imprisoned. It's only when you decifer the 4 control mechanisms & then do not react to them & in fact do the opposite will you begin to break the one way traffic of the narc. I see mine as a bag of skin that resembles someone I used to love but realise they never loved me so I've set about going through all the paperwork to do with the house, tax & made complaint to the police & basically sung like a bird & it bugs the life out of um & scares um. I've had a whole narc family & it's wider community playing games with me & thankfully I'm on the winning side of it now. Through videos such as this & lots of research into psychology & spirituality I've been able to understand my downfall & deceminate the chronoligy to understand the control mechanisms & how they work. By taking the fuck it mentality & say do something about it you will thrive again. Remember actions speak louder than words. Words from narcs are just bullshit. Use the 3rd party technique to ground yourself. Yours, theirs then the truth. To make sure your judgement is realigned initially seek advice from the experts in the field. Emotional abuse speak to police. Financial abuse speak to accountants. Legal advice solicitors & so on until they reaffirm it's not you being controlling. After the grounding then you need to break free emotionally & tie up lose ends & if possible make sure you disgard your rubbish responsibly. Make complaints & round everything up. Some things you can't leave as narcs may have caused some financial incumbencies. These These beings are not what you fell in love with. They are images of what they know you would want. Once you know that it becomes easy to nail down everything. I must confess a little bit of anger drives mine but it feels good after everything that's gone on to get some payback but only what I'm entitled to & nothing more. The narc community even tried to make out I had 9 good years as if to compensate for the pain. Balls to that... Bloody nail um & expose them & make sure if you can no one else get caught. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Most of all stay safe everyone & stay strong 👊

[@aaroningram2312]

Demonic possession it's an epidemic

[@bobbivaneman1584]

AMEN !

[@bobbivaneman1584]

@Patriarchy Is Idolatry Man Is Not God I can't bring up the video.

[@lilac624]

Many haven't received from narcissistic abuse

[@lauratheexplorer6390]

Shouldn't be embarrassed about tummy rumbles. :) This is huge information to "digest" and the body truly reacts & gives us signals. This is an amazing revelation. Both discovering narcissism & how our bodies react to energetic "attacks."

[@kathleenblust5107]

Thank you so much for your insights,I have begun doing the gray rock,no association with my Nark,I go to work ignore him all evening,go to bed.If he’s says something smart to me,I say oh, I know your mad because I woke up and lived another day,nothing else,I completely ignore him,short answers to guestions,I am hoping he will leave,but he doesn’t,I plan to move out silently,and disappear,I desperately want a divorce,working on everything financially.I am passed the point of caring,hoping,being passive,and not showing any emotion towards him,I am so ready to move on.

[@odette8905]

Amazing insight Melanie and great direction and guidance which is the only real way forward as my own experience echoes. Great work. So grateful for you.

[@marymitchell2014]

Melanie, I want to say a big Thank You, for offering something free to help me heal & become the better me that I know is inside of me. I can't order anything about this because he controls all the money & he only gives me a card to use so he can monitor everything I'm buying. Thank you again, so very much. Your an Angel! God bless you!

[@marycauchon4314]

I gave up everything when I walked away. Cut off all communication and am moving on my own. He has moved on...a coward, non communicative, saying we had nothing in common after 30 yrs. How did he be with me that long, lol. I was a better father than a husband. Sure have an affair and that shows your a great role model. Lie to your children and move in with your gf days after our divorce. I forgive him but deny him of any trust in the future. Knock me down but I have picked myself back up. My friends, god and family have helped me thru this. I deserve so much better!

[@debbiehowes]

After asking for the world & things he had already gambled away, countless breakins & that self-righteous self-entitled attitude, claiming everything in my world to be his & running me into the ground. I stayed calm, reacted to nothing & dealt with only the legal issues & not the "boo-hoo" feel sorry for me because the jig is up & my lies have no impact on her anymore. All of your running changes nothing baby! 😜 I now have my home, good support, awsome life insurance "just in case" 😉 & do I dare say it" FREEDOM" from narc abuse. 20 years of living in your lies & your taking, taking is over!! I did it!!!!! I thank you Melanie Tonia Evans 💞 from the bottom of my heart.

[@agena1911ify]

Yes agreed

[@zsazsastratton]

EXCELLENT JOB DEBBIE❤️. I AM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU ❣️ FEELS SOOOOOO GOOD. PEACE ☮️ AND CONTUNUED HAPPINESS TO YOU FOREVER.

[@debbiehowes]

@@zsazsastratton Thank you & OMG it's the best feeling ever! It's worth every ounce of restraint (grey rock) to walk out with my person in tact. Only truth speaks loudly here! I am very happy for you my friend. We have our lives to live solely on our terms now. Freedom reigns forevermore! 😁😆❤️

[@zsazsastratton]

YES, THE INNER DIALOGUE IF THE NARC IS ALL "SELF SERVING". GOING NO CONTACT IS THE EASIEST WAY BACK TO PURE HAPPINESS. NAMASTE🕉️

[@debbiehowes]

@@zsazsastratton 😍

[@the_eerie_faerie_tales]

Oh.. I'm bringing him to justice alright - with the justice system itself!

[@nilgiridreaming]

I too lost everything, including my children, but I had to leave - . Personal evolution has always been my aim, and I work towards 'soul graduation'. Yes a gift... thank you.!!!

[@scarystarbeing5932]

💜🕯️

[@theresawareness8358]

Many years ago, not knowing what I was dealing with, my sister crossed my lines once too often. I told her she was not needed, wanted or liked. I have never gone back. My mother and two brothers joined her and started a despicable smear campaign. I am free of them all and I have to love them because they are part of me. But I will never return.

[@sunflowerbynight]

I love what you do... we need this so much in this country... so many need this specifically in court.. dutch have so many workers with DT narcisism.. taking their kids with frauds away from them.. you are a blessing to us all going through this... thank you.

[@bl6ckr0s3creations]

Thanks for this video! I am currently going through this situation right now. My now ex-bf kicked me out of my apt. And took my possessions and my baby. I'm waiting to get him served so that I can slowly reclaim my home and my baby back. He tried to destroy me when I chose to stop allowing him to control me.

[@StephSancia]

You have brought down my blood pressure somewhat this Saturday Kiwi afternoon. I'm on the verge of leaving my houseshare flatmate after a whopping 18 years and I have gotten to the stage where I can't be in the same room without extremely high BP even in silence ! The only defence I have is silence of which looks like I'm sulking but even if I acknowledge his false niceties after days of solitude in my space he takes advantage of it and back we go to square one. I've taken 5 years to recover from kidney cancer and he's taken huge advantage of me being dependent with serious surgery complications but I'm poised on leaving but I'm considering homelessness for myself and 10 week old puppy but I'm desperately seeking a new rental ANYWHERE but I'm scared as I'm originally from London and have no friends or family and I'm now in my 60s. This morning was classic, he went out and i relished my home aloneness and felt FREE and FOCUSED and HAPPY and INDEPENDENT and I cooked a meal, lit the fire, watched telly, my puppy was very happy and it felt like my old UK self BUT, BUT he came home early, sheepishly said hello politely (as he knows I'm planning to leave) but I didn't even look at him, gathered my phone and tea and puppy and came down to my end of the very large house BUT my blood pressure was way up, I had bad palpitations and my puppy was agitated and I had what i call a STRESS COMA, ie,. High blood sugar put me into a sleep. Woke up, googled my issue and your video came up but I'm already subbed but I'm willing now to leave most things behind except my fashion design tools and materials as i work from home, and my music hardware and guitar plus my deceased daughter and partner belongings. I can get all that in my Isuzu station wagon but I'm willing to leave my bed, furniture and everything behind. I'm gutted that I've only just found out what all this narcissistic thing is and I've ALWAYS believe tomorrow will be a different day of goodness, SILLY ME, More fool me. I haven't got that much longer in life in the realm of years but yearn to be near the beach for healing of everything. Thanks for being there and yes, I heard the gurgling but hey, it's funny how we all feel awkward at natural body functions but maybe a narcissist would find fault in it 😂 Peace and Blessings ✌️❤️

[@fionam3735]

My four year old daughter is suffering as a result of her covert narcissistic father using her like he did children that he has elsewhere and one that tried to kill herself. I wish the courts didn’t grant him access but he is slippery and difficult to prove. No 1. Is my only chance. I need this for her to grow up sane and healthy. I 🙏 for the strength to take him on.

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Grace please check out my resources if you google parallel parenting and our children and my name. I hope they can help xoxo

[@AllisonKhanAAK]

La whole Wula quita ila bila hil Alee up Azeem. And God has power over everything! When you appeal to God, the powerful, His name is Azeem. He is your protector and your child’s protector.

[@aishaneal1277]

Thank you for this...This is helpful when completely ignoring the narcissist and removing him from my life completely is not possible because of children.

[@richardjones-evans603]

Melanie, Thanks for sharing all your insight and wisdom. I've struggled with what happened and mostly blamed myself , despite trying to approach our problems , the femalw narc would make me feel guilty and abuse would get to be a norm . When i finally suggested we split up after an episode of emotional abuse , she declared h over the ler desire for me . We still did not discuss the issues i felt needed thrashing out. More push me pull you behaviour occurred over the next few days followed by the discard via text . The content of which was contrary to the words and love bombing i hung on to the previous 2 months. Lockdown came a couple of days later and this is where i broke down. 15 months later i am seeking counselling and realise my choices are important and only I can make these choices, I reacted and that was my choice . Now i am Healing and thank you for helping x

[@dawnag7526]

my narc father is a horrific, abusive, demonic sack of... my mother recently had a stroke and he continues to be extremely abusive to her, manipulates her, and hammers away at her how much money her care is costing (ironically, he has refused to pay a penny and my brother and I are paying for all her care). If it weren't for her needing protection from him, I would have chosen to never see him again... living a nightmare right now as we protect our mom.

[@gustavgans7966]

After 40 years i left completely my mother to no contact. I learned to handle my anger from suffer to enlightment after it. Leave and dont give a shit, never look back. Bless you

[@SydMountaineer]

This video gives powerful information! I believe that people like us who are healing, we need a lot of practice to "retrain" our brains/our programming. It takes time, and all of us will have many opportunities to deal with people, whether they are narcissistic or not, with our new mindset, practicing our new found skills. We have to be authentic and repsonsible for our own behaviors (towards ourselves and others) no matter the situation or who we're dealing with.

[@kellyschlumberger1030]

Thanks, Doc. For me, the biggest turning point was learning that my nemesis suffers from NPD. From there did not take me long to perceive the sneaky ways, insults, usery going back many YEARS. I pray for these sufferers. Beyond self-fortification, i now mostly seek long-term strategies to avoid malicious encroachment, especially proactive TACTICS to guard myself. Martial-arts best example. Part of this overall strategy includes damage-assessment to be aware of past "torpedoes" that may be affecting my relationships with family, friends, acquaintances, etc... I am whole now, with a few dents to work out. I will let you know whenever i come up with some successful or promising martial arts moves. Thank You Very Much.

[@ZEC67]

I found a way by accident. My narrssasist mom stoped by to release her poison. Out of just the cluster of yuck, that usually short circuits me and leaves me twisted trying to process everything she says for days. I felt panic from the horrible, untrue things she was saying. I knew if I reacted or engaged she would have her ammunition to retale my reaction in a light of her vicimhood of the loving innocent mom, so abuses by her ungrateful, negectful,, uncaring, abusive daughter. I just picked up a washable sharpy left out by my fiance, that was sitting next to me. I started writing abbreviations of all the nasty stuff she was saying to me, about me. It wasn't planned. I think it was I needed to detach or loose my sanity. I needed to see outside my head what she was saying. Knowing, if I defended anything, She would deny she said it. Then she would twist it again, to say something else horrid to me, about me. One cut down after another. She didn't even know I was writing on the tiles of the fireplace. She was not aware that I had turned my attention away from her, while she was blurting out her subconscious poisonous tapes that usually push me to an emotional reaction I hate myself for. She looked up from her comatose self absorbed slurring of poison. Saw all the stuff she had said. Written in huge letters on 15 squares of the 12x12 fire place tiles in purple. Her eyes started bouncing, reading all her own words and ugliness. She watched in shock as I correctly wrote what was presently coming out of her mouth, slower now, while she was realizing what i was doing. She was dumbfounded, went silent, mid sentence and turned around and left quickly, but silently. She hasn't stopped by to release her poison on me or said anything ugly sense. However, my sharply does have a permanent home on the fire place. Now, when she stops by unannounced, on a whim, I sit down next to it. She watches what she say' s to me, now. She looks at me and watches me like a hawk and makes sure it's all kind and supportive and caring and I respond respectful and lovingly. I took a picture of the fireplace before I washed it off, just so I have proof for my own peace of mind. I know she will eventually come up with a good plan for revenge. But, for now, all is peaceful.

[@paigekost9207]

That’s a good one. I have a narcissistic father in law and his son is on the fence of healing and being in denial.

[@ZEC67]

@@paigekost9207 they are so good at deverting your attention and then twisting on your emotions to keep you off balance. The way the can get other people saying their lies to reinforce your self doubt and self questioning.. Im suprised anyone can get away from the cluches of a narrssasistic parent. They created all the wounds they use for control. It is 10,000 times worse then cutting loose from one you date or work for. I can't get away from my mom and I'm 58. Best I can do is create boundies for myself to not go there with her. Not let her use me to punish anyone. Not let her use me to spin one of her webs. Not let her create suspicion about people. I've tried, she has no boundaries and respects no one's.

[@paigekost9207]

I’m so sorry to hear that’s your life story. Can I ask you if you ever married?

[@ZEC67]

@@paigekost9207 it's not my life story. She raised me in California 1 of 7 kids. I moved out when I was 17, got a degree from SDSU and moved to Texas. I have started and run a very successful business and have shown horses for my hobby, which I love 30 years,. I married a narrssasist when I was 20 and in college and have an incredable Son. After I Lost my husband. I stayed single and enjoyed the freedom 8 years. After my son graduated from college and had his life together I found a great normal man and I am engaged.. 2 of my older sister's moved out here to Texas 6 and 8 years after I left San Diego. My oldest brother moved out here a few years latter because I was able to do so well here as a single mom and they just couldn't work hard enough to have anything in California.. My mom came in 2013 after my 3 youngest siblings fled to other states. I hadn't had to deal with her for so long. It took me awhile to figure out how to keep her from reemmeshing my life and spinning her web anchored on my siblings and me and people close to us. WIth out having to be hateful or unkind to an 86 year old women that in reality actually just hates herself. My story on here was only one of the tools I found accidently to keep her from stealing my peace and destroying every bit of self confidence by isolating me from the support network I had. I went to counseling a year after I lost my husband to get past all the self defeating false beliefs I had from being raised by her and thinking I was getting away from it when in reality I took it with me. The narrssasist abuse continued into my 30's without me ever knowing they were both Narrssasists. After I cleaned myself from the false belief systems and learned to identify and stay away from Narrssasist. Having one come back in my life was totally disrupting and I was powerless a few months in 2013 till I could get my feet back under me. The other tool I developed is look at her with a shocked face and say. MOMMMM, Did you just say?, whatever i heard her say.. She will say No, then change it. But her purpose is the same. After a couple MOMMM's. It helps you get ahead of it before they get too far into spinning their webby facade. I think she at some subcounsious level sees what she is sublimanly trying to plant in my subconscious to trigger me. She fears it will be exposed to counsiousness. So she gives up before she exposes her motives to herself. In my opinion the best way to deal with narrssasist is use our empathy they use against us and realize they are really sick people. We don't want to hurt or disrespect or help them hurt anyone else. Yes, Identify them and do not be used by them. But, that hate for them they can create in us will poison us and will keep giving them power over you.

[@paigekost9207]

That is really great advice❤️thank you. My husband is half in denial and half sees the truth. I don’t trust my in-laws at all and I’m not quite sure how to go on with my relationship with them and my husband because I am afraid. We had a big falling out with when when my son was born. It was the first time in my husbands life that he ever stuck up for him self to his father. It got nasty and of course I was the one they blamed. Now everyone is on talking terms. We have two small children together and we live on our own. But I just never feel safe.

[@YoutubeSun1]

I subscribed *because* I heard your tummy growl! I love you! Thank you for being you! Oh! And also for helping us HSP, stop being manipulated by human-like monsters. ❤️❤️❤️🌟🙌🏼💯🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌻🦋💥

[@deeflowers6096]

Go no CONTACT all the way. Get strong never go back. Never.

[@Sara-lr4ng]

Wow, you have such a powerful way of delivering your message and such an interesting vocabulary! I love the way you explain concepts, you really understand what you’re talking about. What a great channel 💕

[@maureenconroy6160]

Melanie thank you so very much . Your advice is always spot on . 💕💕🍀🍀

[@justingilbert4778]

Nice video, Melanie. In Japan, I happen to know people who worked with and looked after the martial artist you spoke of in Juso. The funny thing is they label him as an arrogant lier and insecure narcissistic.

[@philippahawgood4334]

Nine years since I left the N... Many court cases and a divorce trial that was 21 full days in court. I live in a country where the judicial system be very, very slow. I have managed to prove that N lies and cannot be trusted and the judge even said so in his judgment (which is under appeal). This is a quote of what from the judge: "A man on whose tongue the truth must sit with much discomfort". N is cornered legally but justice will only come after findings based on what happens in the next two weeks. Having watched this video, I am hopeful that he will capitulate even though he never has done so before...

[@creations4030]

Thanks, my narc partner has withdrawn funds and fleeced with valuables kids and has now threatened me with a false abuse complaint. She had started a smear campaign few months back but I ignored it and is now poisoning my kids against me. The elder kid understands this but the younger one is too small to realise this. Inspite of no fault, I have offered to reconcile for the sake of kids future but she refuses to respond. I am feeling helpless, broken and powerless and am deeply concerned for my kids.

[@jakeharper4982]

EYE OPENING EXPERIENCE . The pain I fill form the premeditated actions and lies is unreal I never thought It was possible to walk around in such a living Hell . Suicide was my only option at least that's what I thought but I'm going to try a different approach and give it my best to heal up my gaps and not let her in to hurt me ... I got this ....pray for me !!!!!

[@georgeschoullis771]

I pray for you brother I met a narcissist it's all about them and what they can get

[@AllisonKhanAAK]

The gaps diet will do wonders for your self-esteem!

[@kassindatolliver8218]

There is no justice with a narcissistic abuser. I wish I never drank that koolaide. 😭.

[@Rubester-cl6op]

Same

[@cheresmith5188]

The Narcissist will get anyone including their own family to turn on you . Speaking as a victim that is still healing deep wounds !

[@zohashahid30984]

Yessss

[@AllisonKhanAAK]

Oh yeah, been there, done that! Then we turned the tables on them. I confronted my husband using his brother, who said to my husband: “Maybe you need a doctor...?” Truer words were never spoken! Pray, my friends. God exacts better revenge/justice than we can ever do by ourselves. But it is our job to show faith and ask for His help.

[@nancygreydee2608]

This describes the 30 long years of narcissistic abuse my kids and I endured from my soon to be ex husband. This video is very helpful as he is still abusing while I’m trying to peacefully coparent with him and can’t go no contact. To make matters worse he is an abusive alcoholic. Thanks for making these God send videos.

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Hi Nancy, My pleasure sweehteart. Try parallel parenting sweetheart - there is no CO parenting with a narcissist - blog.melanietoniaevans.com/parallel-parenting-the-evolutionary-way-to-co-parent-with-a-narcissist/ love and blessings to you all xoxox

[@leannem945]

💯 Spot on!!👌 Amazing and Powerful Video! thanks so much for doing these Inspiring Videos Melanie 😘 You’re videos give us (Empaths) all of the insight & Advice that we need. I was in An “illusionship” with the Narc for nearly 3 years! I Discarded her last year and Gone Full No contact! It takes time and lots of insight And understanding and inner self work 👌 Im healed and feel better now than I ever did . I can’t thank you enough ❤️ Thanks so much again for these Amazing videos that you do! 💞💞💞💞

[@renatofoti1]

enjoyed your video, Thank you , My ex wife has remarried to a Narcissist and he is causing so many legal problems now with monies and my 9 year old son. He will not let her communicate with myself for the last 3 years and he is the one doing all the legal maneuvers and threats. Its been very stress full, but I do plan to take your 3rd point and stick to the real facts when the court battle begins.

[@emilygjerstad5032]

Everything she said is the truth!! Do it just like she said!

[@bzz5601]

Your tummy gurgle was so charming and cute. Thanks for the laugh before a heavy subject. Love your channel.

[@jayblue9494]

Hard to do at 62 with no support and ssi took my ssi and handed it to him as he was on the business but did not work for the last 7 years. I stepped out could not physically lift my furnature ended up there all winter just trying to move on a place with no kitchen no sink no cupboards no closets and a broken toilet for 800. A month making 814. 414 ssi and I worked 6 days a week all my life car taken on auto pay with the money in the bank the helper that came along beat me with a shovel and tried to extort me. In court. All was for the favor of all hurt parties but me. I was shown as a tart with a love triangle that was never ever existent. Jury likes the sorted story instead of the truth , He did get a bit over 8 years but I sat with my head in my hands for months and had to return to a home I own out of poverty and a sick father of my son who was dying. He got well, House was cleaned up and I was then the target of that new energy heath brings. So buttons on your underware try try again. Loaned Money it never came back and now my cars broke down and I’m walking and can’t even drive away. Moving out was so hard as handicap person . I didn’t make it.

[@niraerlich3016]

I realized that the most devastating conduct fro the Narcissists is ignoring them , give their pretense no any significance ignoring their super need for grandiose unrealistic importance.

[@humairasheikh9203]

Thank you for this inspirational and truthful video,showing practical measures to handle such people.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

Thank you once again Melanie. 💐 I've noticed I have narcissistic tendencies and am going to work on those. My spouse was way narcissistic w/ zero empathy. I did love her...😔 What a waste

[@bettabelieve2633]

Love this video and the true wisdom offered! I've learned these truths by doing the opposite and having all the narcissist's dirty work amplified because I was still mired in trauma. Thank you Melanie for creating such a clear and empowered system of recovery!

[@dinayando2849]

Thank you for the brilliant advice as it is helpful even when the narc wasn't your own love interest but a family member whose death was abetted by the narc. I have some court work to deal with and I will stand strong against this demon from Hell. My brother will not have died in vain!! May God continue to bless you in your truthful work of exposing who / what the narc really is! Only the truth can set us free.

[@susanralph274]

sometimes we need to be badass and indict them. then relax after.

[@TheImpatientEmpath]

Thank you so very much for offering a free course. I feel like I have an ally in this disturbing battle. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

You are so welcome! xoxo

[@forensicfaithinprofiling]

Absolutely fabulous advice. Thank you Melanie.

[@eddiemckendrick30]

Thank you so much I will keep tuned and keep posted to your channel it’s give me someReassurance and some heading to the and some head until that I thought I lost

[@blas4me50]

I go for the juggler. I've had enough, the gloves have come off. And I'm willing to get physical, they don't seem to like me as a supply anymore. I reverse engineer narcissism, I change the subject, I ignore, I hang up on them on calls, I don't give them definitive answers, I no longer talk logic and reason, I hit them with word salad. I throw their many secrets in the air for all to hear. I make them cringe, and if they want to get physical, lets get it. My favorite that drives them off, I always ask for help or favors, they get the hell outta there. And when they start the cooperation phase to get you to let your guard down, I play along til it's my time to have input, then I ghost. I wipe that narcissistic grin right off their face. They seem confused, what happened to my good little supply, that just wanted validation that I dangled on a carrot. I validate myself, and a year of therapy has helped considerably, now I'm just having some fun. That bewildered look is priceless. Interestingly enough, my therapists dissertation was on NPD.

[@Dr.RivkaEdery]

This is literally brilliant! I saved this video and subscribed to your channel. Filling in the inner gaps + education on NPD+decision for self-care = Soul Graduation❤💚❤💖 THANK YOU!

[@monicanath4859]

It is such a terrible disease. I am myself and I say it how it is. So sad that the police encouraged it, although they really support me now. My GP Practice Manager ensured the doctor bullied and abused me, as much as he could, during a recent meeting. I feel so sorry for them.

[@carinaberinguilho8184]

I've never been into a narcisistic abuse recovery program, I discovered my own recovery method and it's very much like what Melanie speaks about. I can say for myself that it truly works! It's all about our inner world: "as within, so without!" indeed!

[@elenwilliams58]

so tired of the ostracism from former friends who (sheep) have fallen for the story of the victim . I have closed all social media to shield myself what will it take?

[@MelanieToniaEvans]

Hi Helen, Here is a resource that can help: How Do I Handle Smear Campaigns? - kzbin.info/www/bejne/o4bYfGmeecaejZY Love and blessings xoxox

[@ladyb2423]

helen williams absolutely difficult