The 5 Most Common Manipulations of the Narcissist

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HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist : Ultra

HG Tudor - Knowing The Narcissist : Ultra

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 96
@ElizabethWildy
@ElizabethWildy 8 ай бұрын
At 15 I got into a verbal altercation with my father. He was lying and I called him on it. He told me never to speak to him again. I tried not to but my mother came to me 4 months later begging me to apologize, so I did. I have never forgotten that humiliation. Disgusting empty cruel people.
@tracieyudichak2315
@tracieyudichak2315 Ай бұрын
I ended up scumbing to groveling out an apology one time in order to satisfy one of the Narcissists in my life. Once that apology was suitable for acceptance and things went back to pleasant, I knew that was not the answer and never would be as far as healthy amending process goes. It felt undeniably empty between us.I learned that it was only a means of control over me. It was not taken as proof of my remorse. That Narcissist didn't care how sorry I was. That Narcissist enjoyed seeing me in the most weakened and powerless state a victim could scumb themselves into just because the Narcissist willed the victim to. I vowed to myself to never do that again because it is not the answer. If the Narcissist cannot accept a healthy apology, then that is not what they want. They want a sick and twisted apology that controls the victim, not heals the relationship.
@remembermyname718
@remembermyname718 8 ай бұрын
1. They keep your text messages even if they pretend to don't read them (they read them and enjoy them) 2. If they blocked you before, they will have backed up everything (the smear campaign) 3. They have an agenda where they write down your reactions or moments that they find important to use against you (if you find it, don't read the contents) 4. They use silence both to punish you, and to make you feel guilty, and to manipulate you, and to make you suffer. (They are looking for a way to restore the balance: you at the bottom, they at the top) 5. Denying is the same as lying (they are pathological liars, never challenge them)
@urutherford
@urutherford 8 ай бұрын
I found my partner was reading our children's teenage diaries. And searching their rooms for any evidence of wrong-doing or 'sneaking'. I was shocked by him not allowing them their privacy. He would bring 'evidence' to me and demand I did something about it - he wanted me to punish them. I couldn't return items to their hiding places because he wouldn't tell me where they had come from. I didn't want to destroy the children's trust in me so I needed to be subtle. But I never knew when my partner was lying to me. I had previously been shocked by his underhand methods of tricking his employees to enable him to sack them. I was genuinely shocked by how manipulative he was. He seemed puzzled I didn't support him.
@tmking7483
@tmking7483 8 ай бұрын
My parents did this to me together. They read that I was having a basketball game with 5 of my friends in my drive way _ I was 12 years old. When we were playing my dad came to the game and accused me of something and pulled down my pants and spanked me in front of my friends. I lost all my friends that day . He gave my gay friend ( a male) at 15 years old- a bottle of rhy and raped him in our house. These people are really devoid of morals and ethics_ and having to be raised with them is just pure agony for a child.
@remembermyname718
@remembermyname718 8 ай бұрын
@@urutherford I'm sorry, this attitude of theirs is truly incomprehensible and can be explained with a simple word: control mania! They appropriate not only personal objects but also the thoughts of others. It is very likely that he has taken other things, perhaps he has a small treasure buried in the garden.
@urutherford
@urutherford 8 ай бұрын
I didn't think of a treasure trove! Luckily I haven't seen him for 21 years and I live in a new place now.
@parrishjeanmoore387
@parrishjeanmoore387 2 ай бұрын
Narcissists are Lucifer's children
@joannturi3968
@joannturi3968 8 ай бұрын
Being surrounded by them from family to friends to foes I've learned master their manipulative ways and in return use it against them, meaning I don't necessarily lie and manipulate them I've just learned the little tactics to use when dealing with them.....such as future faking, acting interested etc., etc. My dad taught me to let it go in one ear and out of the other. I now pick and choose which narcissist I'd rather communicate with. Like I said I'm surrounded by them and unfortunately most of my family members have luckily been the ones to discard me first. I consider the discard to be a blessing in disguise. Their rejection is God's protection. Yes it's been an eye opening journey but quite frankly it doesn't take a genius to figure them out. I used to get puzzled as a child and shrug it off but as a young professional and adult their abuse takes it toll. It's beyond being bullied. The sad part as I've learned and become educated on this there's not a good prognosis for them. Meaning no cure. So it is what it is. I feel sad especially because the main one and most dangerous one happens to be my very own sister. We as a family become immune and enabled her to behave that way since childhood. She was even rewarded half the time by aunts grandmother's cousins....etc., etc. But it's crystal clear now that she used manipulation. She's a master at it. She's the worst of the worst. A real nightmare but I'm not afraid of her. I never was and should have been for the violence that she exhibited towards me. No contact is what's best for us. And it's mutual. When both parties agree then life becomes much easier. What a ride is all I can say and quite embarrassing for them. Shame on them.
@kr8882
@kr8882 8 ай бұрын
Ditto, agree with every word.
@cassandratq9301
@cassandratq9301 6 ай бұрын
Not "a blessing in disguise" - a blessing, full-stop.
@KarinStrong-k4j
@KarinStrong-k4j 8 ай бұрын
I used to ignore the silent treatments. They were so strange to me that I just pretended it wasn’t happening. Now that I know what they were all about, I see that I wasn’t providing the reactions he was seeking.
@ld3418
@ld3418 8 ай бұрын
Detachment, detachment, detachment. No contact for malignants. Detachment for those from whom one is unable to extract oneself, and daily detachment.
@callalilly1988
@callalilly1988 8 ай бұрын
Bringing up the past, revised edition of course, was my narc's favourite. Which lead to circular conversations that would last hours. In these conversations would be a buffet of manipulation techniques. Including but not limited to, projection- "you're so materialistic," "you're revising history." He didn't often use pity plays because he believes he is this great invincible being. His pity plays were more along the lines of "I've survived so much hardship." The future faking was extreme. Even for small unnecessary stuff, he just lied like a rug. Absent silent treatments as well when he was out of town.
@mariastewart9861
@mariastewart9861 8 ай бұрын
I think we were married to the same person! Tick tick tick
@rachelfranks4450
@rachelfranks4450 8 ай бұрын
Complete 🎯 I’ve experienced every single one!! Ugh, insidious
@pickle9753
@pickle9753 8 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. Brilliant and very informative. I wish I learned all this in high school. My life would have been very very different if I had known all this.
@foxywhitetip7387
@foxywhitetip7387 7 ай бұрын
💯💯
@reg4211
@reg4211 6 ай бұрын
Same!!!!!
@clydesmith2676
@clydesmith2676 4 ай бұрын
The silent treatment no longer affects me. I love it. She used it too many times on me.
@valeriespeed
@valeriespeed 8 ай бұрын
I may have met my first narcissist behaviour, experience, when I was about 4/5 years old.Now Some many years ago. I came home from the park with a stray cat.Who had found me,singled me out from my siblings/friends. I told my Dad the cat was thirsty and hungry(no, we can't keep it)So, after I'd fed and watered it, begged, cried, grovelled to keep it.(still no) The cat then, looked up at me, with a big smile, then dug it's teeth into my arm! Quote my father "Never trust a grinning cat" When I look at Meghan, she often brings back that childhood memory for me!!.
@meredith2803
@meredith2803 8 ай бұрын
Excellent work HG, number 5 was spot on. I had someone do the pity play on me recently. Nope I’m not setting myself on fire to keep anyone warm (except my kids).
@applen.ginger8489
@applen.ginger8489 8 ай бұрын
I experienced all of the above and more. I was waiting for Sex to be the number one manipulation though. The “I love you”s and sex are the most potent manipulation.
@SkylarK_x_bk_0
@SkylarK_x_bk_0 8 ай бұрын
This thumbnail prompted me to think of 'respite period', manipulations 'easing' off (or maybe not really yet started).... it also reminded me of HG's article 'You Wear Guilt'. I look forward to this video HG, thank you 🤍
@mrmegachonks3581
@mrmegachonks3581 8 ай бұрын
That economic aspect of the Narc, cost to benefit all the way. Narcissism comes across to me now as a form of husbandry, nothing is to be wasted - until the lifeless husk is tossed aside.
@captainotto
@captainotto 3 ай бұрын
Effective parasites utilize some form of anesthetic and immune suppressant in order to disable detection and elimination. Aren’t they just doing the same thing but for the mind?
@mrmegachonks3581
@mrmegachonks3581 3 ай бұрын
@@captainotto yes. I think you are quite correct.
@ivanaveltmeyer6373
@ivanaveltmeyer6373 8 ай бұрын
I have to say HG about number 1 - pity play. My ex was lower mid range narcissist, and pity play was there too but it wasn’t on the daily menu, it was rarely used ( maybe 1-2 in 6 months time), Amber Heard was lower mid range narcissist too and she liked a jolly good pity play. Also number 5- denial is leads to gaslighting and I experienced very often. Than silent treatment- I have to agree with you HG, it’s effective and devastating for the victims, I experienced this very often and later, I mirrored silent treatment back at him ( I didn’t talk, I didn’t do his washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning and kept myself away from him), and that prompted him to break out and came to me with pity play and apology. Now I’m laughing and free, thank you HG for the tools to my much wanted freedom!❤
@mikeramos4608
@mikeramos4608 8 ай бұрын
Daily. Especially the pity play. The most annoying of my famial middle midranger Type B is constantly saying how much the world has robbed her of any chance oc a good life! Nauseating really....
@GG-ch3vz
@GG-ch3vz 8 ай бұрын
I believe I may have been involved with an aware Narc. He lost all his money and literally made him much worse I am sure. I learned a lot from him but enough to make feel good that he came into my life. Thanks to you I have finally blocked his number. It’s been two months and I know it was necessary as it was a black hole with him and I prefer the light. Thank you for helping me and I am sure thousands like me…for real.
@ivanaveltmeyer6373
@ivanaveltmeyer6373 8 ай бұрын
Blocking isn’t enough! You need to change your number! Mine was ringing me from different peoples phone ( so I wouldn’t recognise the number) or phone boxes ( as shown in as local number), when my ex wasn’t successful to get in touch with me and didn’t know where am I, he rang my family as Queensland police service and asked if they knew where I’m and my phone number ( he used some male, so he wouldn’t be recognised by voice, switched mobile phone as unknown number, because all government agencies use unknown number). When my family asked for what happened? “ we can’t tell you, it’s confidential “- so next day I rang the police and asked them if they were looking for me? The answer was NO- why. I’m not kidding, he had no limits. Please change your number immediately and be very careful who you give your new number!
@user-ue8mp7dt7q
@user-ue8mp7dt7q 4 ай бұрын
Loosing his Money will have most certainly of made his behaviour much worse. It made the ex Narcissist i was once with exelerate his abuse towards me a million times worse when he lost all his money through playing the stock market extremely badly. He may as well have put 3 million pound On a roulette board on one number it was that psychotic. He gambled our home away. However it gave me the strength i needed to leave and find a bedsit. I couldn't take it no longer, he began to sit next to his computer screen watching porn 24 hours a day, snorting drugs and high on speed beating me up, as well as the mental abuse. I got used to the silent treatment, , I'm talking 3 months at a time he'd do this. At first I'd go mad and be very mentally ill by it. it was part of the relationship from the beginning and he was the first man I'd lived with, i just went silently crazy Inside, eventually buti think it's served me well as i sit in vertual silence most days now and it doesn't bother me. I had no family around i lived 300 miles away at that time so very isolated. He got very psychotic once he lost his money As well as all that he was convinced their was parasites crawling in his scalp underneath the skin. I'd come home from work and he'd be sitting in the bath, with a Stanley knife cutting lumps out of his scalp, bath water bright red with his blood, saying look, look it is an insect, can you see it. Their was nothing there just flesh from his scalp hed cut out of his head. Omg when i think back i shiver. The danger i was in with this disgusting creature. The things he did to me he should be in jail. I only realised he was too a narcissist some 20 years later after escaping another psychopath Narcissist and started to research that behaviour, once 8 fled from him and was 8n a place of safty i had time and distance to Google the shit out of what had been a horific 3 years with this other freek of a sicko.Then it all fell into place. My mother my step dad, my sister, ex so called friends a few bosses, some teachers i recaled ect ect all narcissists. I still attract the narcs now, even though I've learned so much and listen to lots of HG's teachings. I have been sucked in by one recently even though i knew he was a full blown narcissist. I let myself be used and abused again. Briefly but its having a bad effect on my sense of worth. Full of shame. No more narcissist's ever again please.
@eringobragh7
@eringobragh7 8 ай бұрын
You’re really spoiling us! Thank you HG ❤
@CamCam-mq6ji
@CamCam-mq6ji 8 ай бұрын
Yes, these factual videos are the best, I'm Very grateful 🙏🏼
@Michelle....B
@Michelle....B 5 ай бұрын
I have been victim to all these...The worse type of abuse EVER...What took my entire soul was being tricked out of my savings...
@chloesmith4401
@chloesmith4401 8 ай бұрын
My narc ex would say “whatever happens… deny, deny, deny” …. Turned out to be a lower mid range.
@QTimeOut.
@QTimeOut. 8 ай бұрын
Times have changed. Wish them well.
@danistark781
@danistark781 5 ай бұрын
It's extraordinary how much your videos can calm the mind.particularly when in interaction with toxic individuals. I'm questioning myself on things right now, but most of these five behaviors have been repeatedly exhibited by the person in question. Others, too, from your excellent title "Manipulated".... a must read for anyone who finds themselves against narcissist.
@esthermoor3875
@esthermoor3875 8 ай бұрын
Very precise and very true! Thanks.
@kimberlywind2418
@kimberlywind2418 8 ай бұрын
“ someone is always not talking to someone in my family.” I should have listened ! I didn’t know what it was and thought he was dead or in danger when it occurred. Once I learned, I no longer cared. How awful.
@amybethmorgan6825
@amybethmorgan6825 8 ай бұрын
As I was listening to number five, four, and three, I kept thinking oh well, maybe my husband is actually not a narcissist. But then I heard number two and number one and those are dead zingers. Every time all the time for 14 years.
@irisjasmincook6918
@irisjasmincook6918 8 ай бұрын
The covert narcissist apart from denial because I believe we weren't let in close enough to observe But we did observe other forms of manipulation. It is after now no contact visible and it makes you feel dumb not to have noticed sooner. This specimen is older but equally aggressive. I made my peace and I feel empowered now whenever there's the slightest encounter
@DarkForestAtmosphere
@DarkForestAtmosphere 4 ай бұрын
Oh you are delicious. Exactly why I'm in hibernation/solitary confinement mode. Despite hoping I'd learned so much since my early exposures, I fear that one such as yourself would enchant and enthral me. Sigh! Guess I still need more education. Thank you HG. Thank you for allowing me to access one as dangerous as yourself, as a test to see if I could resist and if my alarm bells are in working order, without actually being physically exposed to your kind. Very grateful indeed.
@YouilAushana
@YouilAushana 5 ай бұрын
Painful to relive the life of a narc magnet and first born son of two narcs
@christinajackson6520
@christinajackson6520 8 ай бұрын
Once I was strategising my escape, I did indeed the silent treatment. So peaceful. (It reminds me of a Comedienne who suggested not to give your male partner the silent treatment as punishment, as it’s indeed the opposite/respite, but rather talk all the more incessantly.)
@AccioPadfoot12
@AccioPadfoot12 4 ай бұрын
I was onto the silent treatments and simply applied myself to other matters, thankful for the reprieve.
@obiefuletochukwu2074
@obiefuletochukwu2074 7 ай бұрын
HG you are a general in the study of narcissism, not flattering you at all. I say this because since I became aware of narcissism and been observing especially the ones very close to my life, this is perfectly their play book. thanks HG
@malaika4960
@malaika4960 8 ай бұрын
What is the difference between future faking and down right lying?
@urutherford
@urutherford 8 ай бұрын
Denial, oh yes! He had all his family convinced I had an extremely poor memory. Worse than that, he explained I not only forgot things which had happened but I also had 'false' memories of things which had never happened. It was many years later that I believed I could trust my own memory.
@Anne-fi2tc
@Anne-fi2tc 6 ай бұрын
Gas lighting
@pinkkittyize
@pinkkittyize 8 ай бұрын
We all have triggers...Mine was the future faking. I grew up with it, so it became normalised to an extent, and I put up with it...The silent treatment, which I also grew up with, again on a daily basis, is like water off a ducks back. .However, future faking drove me insane !!
@tracieyudichak2315
@tracieyudichak2315 Ай бұрын
F: All of the above. All of them have been used to control me. They have all worked on me, until they didn't. They were very effective and now, they are just tale-tell alerts. They could work, thus mental alarms; since I know, then I assess until the Narcissist relenquishes which allows me more time in freedom from narcissism.
@lizp5449
@lizp5449 5 ай бұрын
Flip the script on these people they are immature,there is nothing of significance or value with them,except use them as the catalyst they are meant to be.If you must interact go the witness mode,in this state you can see it all,but cannot be manipulated, you may feel emotions,hold onto self and flow freely.The emotions you feel in any moment are for you,they are feedback for you,they tell you about you,it really never is about the other person,no one can make you feel anything,you must control your emotions or someone else will!
@kimberlywind2418
@kimberlywind2418 8 ай бұрын
Great message! Funny 4&5 is both the past and pity play. Constant crisis arising out of dramas his family and work. Always in need. Crisis
@freeindeed3635
@freeindeed3635 8 ай бұрын
Q: why is the mainstream media, indeed, ALL media (apart from KZbinrs, socMed) refusing to address TOW alleged fake pregnancies? Even after lady c included a damaging moon bump photo in her new book?
@CrankyAuntyLinda
@CrankyAuntyLinda 8 ай бұрын
They are allergic to being sued.
@freeindeed3635
@freeindeed3635 8 ай бұрын
@@CrankyAuntyLinda 🤣 indeed, but if it’s true, There’s no grounds to sue… Unless there’s some type of NDA all of media signed?
@Cekatu
@Cekatu 8 ай бұрын
TOW must have something on the media head honchos. Maybe from back in her yatch days. It's just odd that mainstream media seems so afraid to touch her. Look at how they went in on Catherine POW.
@tmking7483
@tmking7483 8 ай бұрын
Your my favorite psychopath _ Thanks
@bevmarder8059
@bevmarder8059 8 ай бұрын
Thank you so very much, HG. Trying not to beat myself up but have been involved with one for many years, attempting to extricate myself. In particular, this video has been extremely helpful.
@cindycryderman3628
@cindycryderman3628 8 ай бұрын
Spot on!
@neveragain733
@neveragain733 8 ай бұрын
I was with one for 7 years. The amount of lies was unreal. Cheating. Lord the non stop hidden cheating and gaslighting was intense.
@helenhoward5346
@helenhoward5346 8 ай бұрын
What an ideal video for your best hits/essential info playlist HG... like HG 101. 🤖☠️ but it's like you add unique variations to your insights with these newer educational presentations... HG is going to be the next Jung or Nietzsche... 🌋🌪️
@danistark781
@danistark781 8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. It's helpful to have that list of the most common manipulations to be on the look out for. It gives a starting place to more quickly know when to get out.
@kattatonik2075
@kattatonik2075 8 ай бұрын
Thanks for your work HG. Wish I knew this in my youth 🎉
@christinajackson6520
@christinajackson6520 8 ай бұрын
Thank you HG, much obliged.
@No-Name-f8p
@No-Name-f8p 3 ай бұрын
So true!
@BethDoyle-p7g
@BethDoyle-p7g 8 ай бұрын
Thank you HG
@MindBodyStorm
@MindBodyStorm 8 ай бұрын
💥😎 Awesome information‼️You got yourself a new sub‼️
@brookeerdman8338
@brookeerdman8338 8 ай бұрын
so excellent. thank you.
@cassandratq9301
@cassandratq9301 6 ай бұрын
The narcissist is really good at using past history inventions to wrap you around the axle by utilizing your empathic truth-seeking trait.
@ananonym1617
@ananonym1617 5 ай бұрын
Bleh it’s a gross and exhausting idiocy carousel. It just became weirdly boring after awhile. What amazed me most was how the pattern was EXACTLY as this, and other video examinations state. To the letter! What great videos sir! Morally bankrupt they are indeed…but they will financially bankrupt you too if you let them. Be very very careful. Watch your back folks!
@dianemallon7207
@dianemallon7207 7 ай бұрын
The 2nd and very transparent and short lived ex narc briefly tried the top 3 during his swift rejection 😂
@teshastevenson8950
@teshastevenson8950 8 ай бұрын
Actually....daily. It's like he was never even there for the conversation
@amathenderson7318
@amathenderson7318 8 ай бұрын
RESURRECTION OF THE ZOMBIE NARCISSIST !!!😅😅😅
@amathenderson7318
@amathenderson7318 8 ай бұрын
ALL 5... ALL THE TIME...
@KR-pp7wp
@KR-pp7wp 8 ай бұрын
#3. Future Faking. 'I'll pay you back next month' It never happens. He owes me alot of money. I see YOU... Harry D.
@susanrike7476
@susanrike7476 8 ай бұрын
Question. Today a KZbinr described MM as an empty shell. That she was incapable of human emotions. It confused me. Although narcissists lack emotional empathy, they do have human emotions such as anger, jealousy, envy, and other "feelings." So, is it correct or incorrect to say that MM is incapable of human emotions?
@IBelongToH.G.
@IBelongToH.G. 8 ай бұрын
It is incorrect. She is capable of emotions, just not as many different ones as non-narcissists. Happiness is missing, for example. You can watch HG's video "7 Things the Narcissist Does Not Feel" for more.
@susanrike7476
@susanrike7476 8 ай бұрын
@@IBelongToH.G. Thank you!
@RV7lK
@RV7lK 8 ай бұрын
❤❤
@JeniferBass-b8v
@JeniferBass-b8v 4 ай бұрын
You dont love me, whats wrong with you, youre this youre that, im sorry, i love you, im in dire straights hahaha
@sharonhainesNumber1Red
@sharonhainesNumber1Red 8 ай бұрын
HG Tudor, it appears you are not a true Narcissist because you seem to care about your readers’ feelings. You help us, by giving us information. Am I wrong?
@cassandratq9301
@cassandratq9301 6 ай бұрын
Yes.
@HellBelle666
@HellBelle666 5 ай бұрын
My so called "father" was a narc, my husband, then partner were narcs, my now husband maybe one, funnily enough im an empath. I wonder, is it me that looks for them or them me? 🤔🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇬🇧 @HGTudor-TheUltra
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