The Acolyte - A Failure In Every Way

The Acolyte has no redeeming qualities - for $180 Million Dollars

[@mikeh5635]

Lesley Headland's face looks like a Lego person come to life.

[@jamied1579]

A bit unfair to strap-ons, I thought... lol

[@mikeh5635]

@@jamied1579 Dildoes go limp for her.

[@mikeh5635]

Strap ons go limp in her presence.

[@reemerger]

To me she will always be Legoheadlamp.

[@cattrucker8257]

I hope it at least comes with the handy ability to swap her hair with the simple click-unclick of the pip on the top of her bald head.

[@calvinmasters6159]

"...blunt force inclusivity..." gold.

[@danielbertola7868]

Every single shot is a "cool" pose. Everyone struts when they walk. Every face is stoic. Every cloak is splayed out or billowing constantly. It's all "trying" to be cool, without any cool moments.

[@arson135]

Lame people don't know how to be cool. We are seeing a caricature of what they THINK cool is.

[@hotfroganimations]

Yeah that’s a big factor about this. People slagged off Reva in kenobi but that actress was leagues beyond amandla stenberg.

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

​@@arson135Yup. Describing it as a caricature of cool is an extremely apt way of putting it.

[@caronstout354]

If everything in a project is trying hard to be "cool and relavent", then nothing about the project is...

[@your_name_here2158]

Back in starwars' old days cool was Mace Windu in the Clone Wars Animated series of 2005 punching his way through a thousand battle droids

[@tjimicole2677]

Should have ended with the other bit of Ash's speech. "There's only one thing I could say to some sort of devotee of Disney+ Star Wars who would have the perseverance and the will to watch this show all the way to the bitter end: 'I can't lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathies.'"

[@EchoChamberlain]

Good point.

[@jmace2424]

I love Echo Chamberlain’s descriptions of his hypothetical debating partner 😃

[@davidmarsden192]

I heard someone call it "A mystery-box, in a dumpster fire, in space!" LOL

[@josemanueldetemmer4495]

Paint a karen with green and you have a jedi master.

[@MrsMacLover]

Marjorie Taylor Greene

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

​@@MrsMacLoverBad joke about an alright woman.

[@johnsteve39]

Give karen power and you have star wars The acoltye

[@TaoScribble]

Unless I'm mistaken, she doesn't even look like the character she's apparently supposed to be. Like, that illustration has _hair._ Why is she _bald?_

[@impactsuit9871]

​@@TaoScribblerepresentation... bald women are no longer excluded

[@Quazi-moto]

I don't think I'll ever stop wince-laughing at Amandla Gooberberg's "dancing". Egad.

[@scifiguy26]

The green Leslie headlands husband/ wife acting skills comparison was hilarious 😂

[@AdamKadmon-cg5qs]

Everyone is calling him "Squid Game Guy", poor thing. He's gonna be SGG for life.

[@cattrucker8257]

I think it's a tad better than Master Sol Korea. Seriously, whoever named his character had to have been doing that on purpose.

[@vincestapels2022]

It's too bad they gave him such terrible material and story to give him. And he's probably the best part of this bastardized propaganda show...

[@TunezCottage]

I, also, admire its purity. And how committed all the writers are to writing their scripts in less than a day. It's really impressive if you think about it, considering how many writers are on board for this.

[@brianburton1843]

I think less than a day is a stretch. Maybe before lunch is more likely.

[@1977curt]

I admire its purity, a perfect organism.

[@markiangooley]

You can see when George Lucas rushed things into existence in the prequels… but in retrospect he didn’t do all that bad a job.

[@GaudiaCertaminisGaming]

I think it takes longer to print the scripts than write them.

[@ian8477]

A day? Hell, they could have used an AI story generator to make it in seconds... but that's unfair to the quality of the AI generators. I mean not to insult our AI overlords.

[@jagmd]

At this point, we need to all stop hate watching it or reviewing it. Just let it fade into obscurity and just let the 25 actual fans talk about it amongst themselves.

[@UPTAUT]

I really admire Echo's delivery. As an Australian, I really appreciate the New Zealand accent. 🇳🇿 ANZAC.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

Psssh. USA! USA! USA! USA! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[@crimsonking70]

the English language diaspora is united in its disdain of all things Disney Star Wars. Echo Chamberlain (New Zealand). Gary from Nerdrotic (USA), Critical Drinker (Scotland), Robot Head (Australia), Reaper (England), the list goes on.

Very articulate and crisp.

[@peterkotara]

As a Kiwi, I really appreciate the Auzzie accent. When I am abroad, it takes me home. ANZAC forever.

[@rogerborg]

"She was a child." "You brought her." That one exchange - and _only_ that one - demonstrates that the writers _could_ do better, but they _chose_ not to. They set out to produce this swill.

[@ThespianPrince13]

*What could’ve been:* ✅ Sith perspective story similar to Darth Plagueis or Darth Bane novels; Sith warrior and inquisitor stories from SWTOR. ✅ Mature and grounded story similar to Andor but with the mysticism of the Dark Side. In-depth look at Sith philosophy as we follow a master/apprentice two vs an entire galaxy story. ✅ Well-written Sith protagonists part of a two-person organization in a thousand-year conspiracy to upset the Galactic status-quo. ✅ New Star Wars timeline. Reality: ❌ The Acolyte…. “The power of one, the power of two. The power of many.”

[@jamied1579]

I challenge the notion they could do better - I genuinely think they've brought their A-game here. They've already peaked...and missed

[@mikeyh0]

It's great that the writer's strike was settled. It's a shame not a single writer had a dictionary that included the word "canon".

[@alexmuenster2102]

4:20 The maker of this video himself has problems with the spelling of "LORE AND CANNON."

[@saturn580]

"It's like poetry, they rhyme. Every failure kinda rhymes with the last one." -Kathleen Kennedy

[@creatrixZBD]

Argh Poetry doesn’t rhyme. Only rhymes rhyme, and ok they are a form of poetry. And there are five different kinds of rhyme, just to be totally clear about it. KK dumb af

[@Melchiah28]

Lesley Headlands Wife is listed on IMDB as Lesley Headlands Wife. She has no own name.🤣

[@MarvinPowell1]

A show that joins Saints Row 2022, Suicide Squad KTJL, She Hulk: Attorney at Law, and Velma in being in a few rare group of failing at literally everything. What an honor!

[@Resijew]

Echo Chamberlain absolutely savaging the Acolyte is the only thing that brings me joy in life

[@nyetzdyec3391]

This roast is one of the best things to come from The Wokalyte.

[@fionnaitsradag5152]

They had four years to straighten out the script. FOUR YEARS!😦

[@jamesmacleod671]

Probably spent most of those years being morally outraged at the patriarchy and going on protest marches between hanging around coffee shops drinking their soy latte thinking up new pronouns.

[@DiCelloPiano]

4 years on that script , think about that ... 4 years

[@vicmwaf]

It doesn't even make a dent on any starwars history this is like another universe starwars

[@alsmith9853]

Yes this is the Star Wars multiverse

[@spacecase13]

The best thing to come from this show are critiques like these.

[@diquadhumungersaur492]

silver lining.. it has given many of my favourite channels quality fodder to disembowel in order to make me laugh and smile so so many times.. cant wait for "rings of prime 2" next.. :-)

[@MrsMacLover]

totally

[@Hongsta]

The sea is always right!

[@zhouenlai2569]

Absolutely! More cringy woke TV trash to roast!

[@nyetzdyec3391]

I always look forward to one of Echo's epic roasts. Disparu, too... and he's already got one for RoP2

[@sauriel2014]

It's given us the power of maaaaaaany. A meme forever

[@wellingtonmsj]

The comment about Leslie's partner's acting performance was cruel, so cruel 😂

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

*Leslye's partner's acting was described accurately, which just so happened to be cruel.

[@davidlutz2242]

I must say that the new ships that were designed by the grunts at lucasfilm are actually beautiful to look at and I would love to spend more time on the vehicle porn but you get less than one second as a identifying location shot of every ship they're in which again takes less than one second so really I don't even know if the ships are cool unless I freeze frame on them way to go Star Wars. You did all the hard work in the background and didn't even let us see it in the show..

[@dereknewbury163]

Sadly, all true. It is hard to imagine a show, especially from Disney, that fails so abysmally on all levels. No charm, no magic

[@littlebilly8747]

I love the line "[the diversity] ceases to be apparent to the viewer." This is the test I apply to any media nowadays to discern whether the diversity is fake/forced or natural

[@rickbase833]

@littlebilly8747 I feel the same way. Although I recently binged The Expanse.....twice. As a big SciFi fan I don't recall why I didn't watch when it debuted....maybe it was too soon after BSG. Anyhoo, I watched Expanse and never once thought any character or story arcs was Woke. I was immersed in the story from minute one through the final scene. That's what good writing and acting does......

[@edenbreckhouse]

As someone who hates Disney I love the idea of them wasting lots of money on failed projects.

[@leonardmulrooney3806]

30 seconds of dialogue in this critique is infinitely better than the best of all 6 episodes combined.

[@JavierSalcedoC]

the tribe got what they wanted: destroy one of the most beloved modern westerns epics

[@nyetzdyec3391]

Not the tribe, if you mean who I think you mean. What is Leslye Headland? What is the director of the next movie, Obaid-Chinoy... definitely not part of the tribe that I think you mean. What is Kathleen, "The Force is Female" , Kennedy? For that matter, look at several of the "stars" of this specific show... multiple rainbows there...

[@Eidolon1andOnly]

​@@nyetzdyec3391Who put those people in power? Who runs Hollywoke?

[@BigBreadBoi]

The “tribe” is just Disney trying to get ahead of controversy by leaning so far into the message that they forget to actually make a good show. LGBTQ People don’t want this garbage either, is hollow and corporate they don’t give a fuck about minorities. It’s a very intentional choice to hide behind the “haters online” without having to actually put effort in, and if you don’t like it they can just put you in the category of bots and spam. The facade is failing and Disney is haemorrhaging money everywhere.

[@manoz6194]

@@nyetzdyec3391 Don't be so naive, they completely run Hollywood, the tribe are the ones pulling the strings and put the names in you mentioned in "power",

[@aleksander8497]

There's a satanic element to disney, hoping to corrupt or destroy any good in this franchise. How else could you explain Kennedy? They would have replaced her for destroying the company's profits.

[@CyberMonty2077]

That scrawny Jedi looks like he’d struggle to even lift a lightsaber. Maybe even a strong breeze would kill him.

[@mechgouki7999]

Damn! My dog just left a huge pile of acolyte on the couch!

[@joshualeafe3230]

Harvey Weinsteins personal assistant was handed the keys to Star Wars? That’s a question I never thought I’d ever type…

[@seekthevisceral]

Sir Echo, we thank you for every brutal, elegant sentence of this.

[@bellissimo4520]

"Fat Jedi guy needing whole frames to himself." 😂😂🤣🤣

[@marcusclark1339]

one of the biggest offenses are the twins, there's no actual reason they needed to be born of the force, its literally irrelevant to the entire show, the only reason its used is to devalue Anakin, that's it, just "another happy accident" all of the original mythos has been destroyed the legacy heroes broken has-been that achieved nothing the new republic a pointless thing the Skywalker line entirely killed for the sake of Palpatine cause "evil is just misunderstood" that media pushes to allow evil, evil pushing evil no surprise the sith always around now and Jedi are the bad ones there's no value in any of it now

I grew up with Ivanhoe, Black Beauty, Pipi Longbottom, Buck Rogers. Personally I am convinced this is all done purposefully and wilfully. The incompetence argument does not fly with me anymore. We are way past incompetence at this point.

[@alexmuenster2102]

>>Pipi Longbottom

@@alexmuenster2102 You are correct. I will let my mistake stand as is instead of editing. In hindsight there was the promotion of feminism. But even so: way better storylines. Even when I take sentimentality / nostalgia into account.

[@charleshermetix3886]

Jesus fkin christ that thumbnail had me crackin up for like a full minute 4 some reason😂😂😂

[@bryanfine986]

It succeeds quite well at putting yet another nail in the Star Wars coffin!

[@scottmcfadyen-iu6ix]

... Even Ash knew it was better to be immolated.

[@ibidesign]

Has to be the single most level-headed, unbiased burn I've ever watched.

[@kirbymarchbarcena]

I gotta give Disney the credit for giving us crappy projects to make fun of.

[@studiotonkin8454]

I’ve had no intention what-so-ever of ever watching this show…and will continue to have no intention what-so-ever of watching this show, however, I have become thouroughly entertained and laughing out loudly at Echo Chamberland and some other's reviews of this show…and enjoy watcdhing these on almost a daily basis… Thank You so much for the Belley-Laughs!!!!

[@dennishena1399]

“Obi-Non-Binary”!!! LOL!!! That’s the best!

[@Jimmie2429]

It’s the difference between consistency and accuracy.

[@cpdreyer]

Thank you for acknowledging my tone of measured provisional open-mindedness.

[@brothermaynardsbrother]

Huzzah! Unlike the show that is the subject of this piece, your analysis features desirable attributes such as being astute, well-reasoned, wry, charming and entertaining.

[@NoPantsBaby]

Up till episode 4 it was funny bad. As in a group of drunken lads failing to get into their own car. But then they just give up. Things just start to happen because the story needs it. It became insulting.

[@jefesteel]

Parading around in an ill-fitting Star Wars skin suit - the Acolyte

[@mr.k905]

Star Wars finally turned into 2000s Star Treck.

[@survivaloptions4999]

"Funny I don't remember owning any droid named R2D2SLGBTQIAPP+"

[@rickbase833]

I have admiration for Lee Jung Jae in that he is putting his best in for thus show and even learned how to speak English for the role........I also like the Darth Smylo dude........

[@GlenLake]

It's amazing that not only did you know what I would say as I watched this video, you also new the tones I would use!

[@lodrezzon]

Considering 'The Acolyte' is missing two glaring things - Quality and White Guys - I'd say that Diversity is NOT synonymous with quality, and more synonymous with simple pandering. If the cost of empowering marginalized social groups in America is the loss of Star Wars as a whole, then the price paid was too high for what was lost.

[@mrliteral9347]

@4:20 CANON, what you smokin'?

[@wyclef4351]

Haven’t even seen the show but I can tell their line delivery has more life than the voice over for this video

[@edithboote1920]

Sad but true. Well structured, honest analysis.

[@SouthernGentleman]

Pride before the downfall

[@smd1876]

Flat 😂😂😂 in two roles 😂😂

[@richardmusquez5373]

“The power of one…the power of two….the power of many…”. I think they were trying to count the number of different genders in the Acolyte world.

[@iddles2o]

Great video, well summed up!

[@DarthDevorin]

You have failed me, Acolyte. Completely and utterly.

[@fundhund62]

Relax. At least, it's better than Andor. For what it's worth 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@zacmccollum7144]

"I want Ki Adi Mundi in my show, that takes place 100 years before the movie he's in, where he's already old AF. Can I do that?" And absolutely no one thinks to check wookiepedia to see if he would be alive at that time. Lmao no one at all finds it weird that this guy would be over 100 years old in the prequel films. Instead of saying "hold on and I'll check if that would make sense and let you know," they just said "🤔 ya know, Yoda is over 100 years old I think, so I guess age has no meaning in Star Wars....SURE! 😄 Go ahead!"

[@rickbase833]

The Expanse is another series that had naturalistic diversity. That series was awesome.

[@user-yp6yr9te7l]

The Acolyte had naturalistic diversity....up until Episode 3 when they bludgeoned you with vagenda.

[@rickbase833]

@user-yp6yr9te7l Vagenda. LOL. Can I borrow that?

[@Supramedical68]

We could've had a legitimate High Republic or Knights of the Old Republic movie for this budget.

[@WDeeGee1]

Splendid!

[@ashnazgthrakatulukii1165]

In episode 6 they even failed to properly fail.

[@OcarinaSapphr-]

Another issue with the blocking/ shots that Platoon articulated better than I ever could- things like: Characters disappear from scenes (even those where it would make sense for them to be there), & come from odd directions, according to what the previous action has indicated - characters are 'on pause', as though they're pointedly held back until they're needed for the scene - they stay standing still when they should go - do nothing when previous scenes dictate that they would do something - & have no logical follow-through when they have the advantage...

[@thedistracti0n993]

One thing I noticed is that they made all the lightsabers fat and clunky looking, to make them match the cheep trash ones they sell at the park.

[@Billco123]

The soy is strong with this one.

[@bretticus6722]

Well that explains why Jecky was even better than the other Jedi... She was actually trained by a white guy.😁

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

In Marvel Comics _Civil War II_ Captain Marvel takes 13 characters to confront Thanos, with Human Torch being the only white guy. Her group gets absolutely boat raced. She-Hulk is almost killed, ending up in a coma for weeks and Rhodey _is_ killed when he get a hole punched through his chest. Yay diversity!

[@brucealderson9825]

Loved it. The review, silly! Not the show!

[@MrTeamGuy]

great video

[@furrygecko]

It’s extremely telling they had no idea what they were doing when Headland said she made Qimir’s role bigger after seeing how the actor did with it. I’m fairly certain that meant they changed the story in a major way after filming had started, rather than, say, during table reads. And if so, that’s a confession they were just winging it to whole way, which explains a lot.

[@scottwhitfield4218]

Canon, one "n". Don't mind me, a pet peeve. All else good.

[@southpaw7426]

One irony, (or maybe not considering their preoccupation with themselves) is the DEI creators of Disney Star Bores deliberately and openly set out to maliciously criticize the original films , its fans, its themes, and its characters, but cannot tolerate anyone criticizing their own critique of the original work. The fact that they got their way and made their point isn’t enough for these zealots, they need to lash out and use the homophobia label to describe anyone who doesn’t find their work amazing. I guess it’s not a surprise that creators who cannot contrast good and evil in any meaningful way, likewise cannot distinguish a good story from a flat, boring, self-indulgent journey to nowhere.

[@mxvega1097]

It's comprehensive. The mystery is frustrating as the goalposts keep shifting. In a decent mystery or thriller, there is generally one mystery, with maybe a misdirect or two. So what is the mystery now? Who is the real master? Really? That wasn't on the cards for 4 eps. At least now I won't go to my grave without having seen a fanfic Blue Lagoon v Star Wars scene. Sith Helmet Rising... ?

[@WhistleintheWind]

Your review was so clever.

[@barrelrider85]

Great writing. Finally a writer on KZbin. Love the format too.

[@djsj6798]

That green woman Jedi reminds me of a 1980s Annie Lennox.😆

[@alexmuenster2102]

Except that 1980s Annie Lennox was HAWT!

[@Jay-jb2vr]

This channel is so awesome

[@marccountry]

"The Asian market is currently one of the hottest for competition among streaming platforms. And it’s an area where Disney+ is aiming to make its mark against its numerous competitors. The Magical Kingdom’s streaming platform recently reached the milestone of five million subscribers in Indonesia...." I'm not sure why nobody seems to have pointed out that this show is obviously not really for North American audiences. The terrible performances don't matter much. It will be re-dubbed, and Asian audiences will focus on the kung-fu fights between the Asian hero vs. the Asian villain, not the dim twins.

[@EliSkylander]

That's an interesting point. But I also feel the irony in "entertainment made in America" getting the reciprocal attitude of "stuff made in Asia" here in America.

[@inkermoy]

The thing is, it's not really made for Asia either. Generally in decades before they would gobble up cinematic outings with lots of action and little dialogue so you could watch it unsubtitled. From the reviews for the Acolyte I've seen, it's barely this. I don't know what an "Asian" audience would make of the "mystery" that is ploddingly unwinding. It insults viewers' intelligence no matter what country they're in. Lastly, Asia is a pretty big darn place with many cultures, races, ethnicities, and beliefs. But leave it up to you and Disney to treat them like they're all the same. And the critics are the ones being called racists! LOL! PS: I'm sure Headland's lesbian overtones will go big in Indonesia, where the vast majority of the population are Muslims.

[@jusko2565]

I don't know if this is your assumption or if you're speaking for the producers of The Acolyte. Either way, that's dumb.

[@user-yp6yr9te7l]

It's not made for an Asian audience at all. Asians don't like these unintelligent plots and their own shows are lightyears ahead. Asian tv is quality. Squid Game for example. Most think Star Wars is silly now, and unlike Western audiences, Asians aren't suddenly interested or not interested to watch a show because there's Asians in it. They aren't into the whole identity thing

[@Dinoslay]

With this show Sith most definitely happened.

[@FredBloggs919]

The writers have no skill and were hired for whatever not actual experience or skill.

[@JavierSalcedoC]

the writers are r3tards

[@ericzommer5581]

Welcome to diversity hiring. Isn't it great to value representation over merit?

[@dosmatrix4470]

Soy+Milk toast =Soymilk toast.

[@deany2274]

I honestly thought that almost everyone was new to the english language on this show!

[@samhui9517]

This script is the result of the first draft of a single brainstorming session by a dozen 10 year olds who heard of Star Wars once, their intense research of The Book of Boba Fett, Obiwan Kenobi, and Ahsoka, and their committed to checking all the boxes of Disney Lucasfilm mandate.

[@derekwebb7577]

The helmet and bracers are cortosis, which is not supposed to be able to be forged into armor.

[@GaZonk100]

well written roast!

[@matthewgaulke8094]

The best part of these shows/movies being terrible is its made me step back and ask what do I want to spend my time on now that my favorite toys have been taken away. It's made me ask why I watched so much TV to begin with. It was a distraction from having to be alone with my mind and those nagging thoughts that life could be better lived if I put down the remote. Coming back to these shows now is like watching an addict think they can relive the fun days of getting high and the adventures that took one on. It's just sad now to watch people go back for more of these shows when they know what they are getting from it and those glory days aren't coming back so they might as well grow up and listen to their conscience.

[@christopherparkman7486]

urgggh 'Canon'.

[@user-sy9ke8cq1q]

Thumbnail had me dead!!

[@joshuagerber8362]

May they/them be with you.

[@alexmuenster2102]

"May the string be with you!"

[@seanmillette4323]

If his helmet is made from an obelisk shell, then it has been mentioned before in the Darth Bane trilogy.

[@alexmuenster2102]

No one cares!

[@jimmybrook7119]

Well done.

[@user-og2bp2gf4u]

No, he was not Sith, he "Identifies" as Sith.

[@ThespianPrince13]

*What could’ve been:* ✅ Sith perspective story similar to Darth Plagueis or Darth Bane novels; Sith warrior and inquisitor stories from SWTOR. ✅ Mature and grounded story similar to Andor but with the mysticism of the Dark Side. In-depth look at Sith philosophy as we follow a master/apprentice two vs an entire galaxy story. ✅ Well-written Sith protagonists part of a two-person organization in a thousand-year conspiracy to upset the Galactic status-quo. ✅ New Star Wars timeline. Reality: ❌ The Acolyte…. “The power of one, the power of two. The power of many.”

[@zeorhymer6]

The training is complete. Disney has turned Star Wars into a girl brand

[@user-yp6yr9te7l]

No, it hasn't. Because girls don't even like it. Half the YT videos trashing this are from girls. lol

[@noelv1976]

I love how all the Jedi just ran up to him like a bunch of medieval warrior buffoons.