The Acolyte Episode 6 - Revenge Of The Cringe

Well, we had one action-packed episode to distract us from the depressing reality of what Star Wars has become. Now its back to terrible writing, grim acting, lightsaber whips and giant hamsters with The Acolyte Episode 6.
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[@erraticuk]

The best comment I've read "The people who used to bully you for liking Star Wars are now the ones in control of it"

[@rclaws3230]

They also say that nerds were never bullied, when the reality is that nerds were bullied to the point of actual, violent persecution frequently. Short memories conveniently shortened to maintain unearned moral superiority.

[@portalmanHUN]

That's the same for everything. The people that used to call you a loser for playing video games are the ones in chagre of your games now and they're calling you an -ist and -phobe for not liking their garbage.

[@ProudlyShadowBanned]

Yep

[@reharl4953]

I don't think the absolute wet noodles in charge of this turd are capable of bullying anyone.

[@nolilado5452]

Most geek media IP, has the bullies in control now. Gaming, Comics. Animation. They kicked the original fandom out so they can try to profit from it.

[@benjaminlogan8946]

I've seen 0 minutes of this show but listened to every word Drinker has said about it.

[@morganfreeman5260]

😂bguess some people just like hearing a dudes voice in their ear. no shame. it’s 2024

[@murkinsmurff219]

Same

[@Bvggerffpls]

​@@morganfreeman5260are you 14 years old?

[@murkinsmurff219]

​​@@morganfreeman5260we just don't want to force ourselves to watch this garbage

[@ndujamz]

Me too.

[@Jonathan_Collins]

You know it’s a Disney product when they’re not afraid to add a wet shirtless guy as a thirst trap; but simultaneously decide that Leia in a bikini is problematic.

[@melaninking199]

They only scream sexism unless its a female being nude. Its no wonder why men would rather get their passports and go else instead of dealing with western females😒

[@tobylanglois3698]

Literally! Exactly this lol.

[@charlesmuller5162]

Let's not forget that Disney was so offended by Daryl Hannah's naked bum in Splash that they had to use crappy CGI to cover it, but have no problem showing Chris Hemsworth's naked bum in Thor.

[@Archangelm127]

Objectify everybody! Everyone is somebody's fetish.

[@solracstormhunter3023]

"You cannot be racist towards white people, or sexist towards men either!" - Disney, probably

[@jiiaga5017]

You nailed it when you made an offhand comment about "Did she even read the previous episode's script?" . We see these shows in a certain progression, but that isn't necessarily how they were filmed. I have 100% confidence that they did not have an established story as they were filming, things were constantly getting "Brainstormed" and changed. Which is also why these episodes take so much $$ to make, because they are fixing things and adding special effects purely in post rather than setting things up ahead of time.

[@MaciejBogdanStepien]

This theory is highly plausible. Not proven, but the explanation given is (1) rational (2) referring to well-known facts and phenomena (3) draws a coherent, overall picture.

[@ambrar12]

it's hard to understand why the production value and set sizes seem so small despite the $200 million budget. I imagine they wasted enormous amounts of cash on reshoots

[@insensitive919]

They kinda admitted to that. They rewrote the second half of the season so that thirsty women could get more Manni.

[@sdfxcvblank5756]

Taking a unconscious woman to a unknown island? Lezzy headlend sure knows a lot about that

[@glennwatson3313]

Oh my god, you win the Internet today.

[@archangel_josh]

Mate, this is hilarious!

[@mriconoclast13]

This!

[@BrouwerBuFU]

You write what you know.

[@Lord_Deimos]

LMAO

[@devileeg]

Jedi lesbians can make even a lightsaber soft.

[@avalanche8943]

LOL

[@adolfcattler]

Reminds me of this kzbin.info/www/bejne/r4qmkn5-aKxkr5Y

[@secretname2670]

you know, they say, that L's go together

[@magicpyroninja]

Considering Jedis are supposed to avoid attachment, they shouldn't have a sexuality. So, they're not really Jedis

[@kaden-sd6vb]

​@@secretname2670 oh this is gold The layers on this joke lmfao

[@stephenhogg6154]

So, he kidnaps her, takes her to an unfamiliar place, then strips buff naked in front of her? LH is at least writing about something she knows.

[@Scipio_Americanus]

😂😂😂

[@whaguitars]

Oh snap!! 😀

[@mobylure]

it's what "they" like...

[@TheGruntski]

Ohhhh, burn! People write about what they know - in her case it's Harvey and his little games.

[@rhetorical1488]

I half expected Epsnteins sith ghost to be poking its head from behind the rocks😆

[@pretorious700]

No nepotism in casting your spouse in a leading role, ignoring her total lack of acting ability?

[@Roflcrabs]

I'm open to actors not being attractive in every role so long as they're good at their craft, generic hot people who aren't great actors gets pretty boring and I kinda miss having regular looking people like in older movies. Like, no disrespect to James Woods but no way would he have made it in Hollywood today but he steals scenes as a villain. But yeah that green chick isn't good or hot. Without knowing nepotism played a role you kinda already know something is up just looking at photos of her. It looks like a cameo except we don't know the person.

[@Trollificusv2]

@@Roflcrabs If you watch any good British movies or shows, they have TONS more normal-looking actors than we do. Or maybe they just have more PARTS they write for normal looking people.

[@TheBatPunkRises]

Clearly she knows how to handle a lightsaber hilt purple flexi-dildo, so, don't dismiss her entirely.

[@wilfredoUbatuba]

but she can munch carpet real good

[@Cryogenius333]

@@Roflcrabs "SOO you're saying if I point my gun at-at the dirt. And I FIRE...I am not only putting a hole in the ground I'm...*"killing the planet"*. Woods is a wonderful actor in his own cynical snide way. He does play such wonderful villains.

[@J.J.Spencer]

Let us be completely honest. The knife scene exists entirely because the writers needed to remind the viewer she's the Bad Twin, because this actress is really just playing herself - badly - twice. They don't have the ability to show her being false in organic dialogue and they don't trust the viewer to remember the events of the previous episode. So the knife-flash is literally just them going 'Ok now remember in this scene she's the BAD GUY PRETENDING, ok?' I can't even call this amateur hour. Axe Cop has better characterization and it is written by a literal child.

[@YourAlcoholicUncle]

I love Axe Cop

[@joshwongwai3532]

Sharknado 3 has better acting than this abomination.

[@AegisAuras]

Bro I forgot about axe cop. That show was so much better.

[@therealking6202]

She has zero range. The only "acting" is done with the camera and music/sound. She'd play a GREAT zombie.

[@Squall598]

Could've even done the "sees jedi that they have to pretend to be someone else in front of. Takes a deep breath before approaching the jedi." Still serves as a reminder for the viewer.

[@Rembreiker_lychec9257]

Lesbian Headlamp wrote what she knows. Sending women to talk with a man who greeted them naked.

[@anymice]

Heh, how about Lesbian Headlump, like a thing that sits on top of her shoulders. Lamp implies a "potential brightness". There's none of that to be seen here.

[@md_vandenberg]

@@anymice Well you see, headlamps can be broken.

[@leonid123ful]

That is an underrated comment

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

​​@@anymiceI wish I could remember who said Lesbian Headlamp's face always looks like it's in the wrong aspect ration for her head.

[@HanaNoMachi]

It’s just a trick to bait the straight women

[@Swingerfinger]

The only good thing about the Acolyte is your weekly review where you tear each episode to shreds. Thank you for your sacrifice.

[@dmhendricks]

Disney keeps making this slop because y'all keep watching it.

[@montarakid1943]

@@dmhendricks "Y'all?" Not according to the ratings. And certainly not me. I'm just here for TCD to support him taking the hit for most of us.

[@lamontmcleod2]

@@dmhendricks I'm not subscribed to Disney at the moment, so no, I'm not watching it but I'm watching it get torn to shreds by the Drinker and Charlie.

[@stevemaricar4350]

The lazy writing, plot holes and inconsistencies are glaringly obvious. You wonder how the writers could ever sign off on this.

[@jbrisby]

The writers are barely able to sign their names.

[@GothLady1987]

This is why I want to do small time independent screenwriting. Even I write better than this hot garbage!

[@CMONCMON007]

It was Dave Filoni the Bolony

[@billstrasburg384]

The purpose appears to be simply to destroy the franchise and give a huge figurative middle finger to all men everywhere and Star Wars fans. The worse the writing is, the more effective it is at accomplishing the mission.

[@Shorty_Lickens]

they wanted a job and I bet real money they also wanted to push that agenda. Or "The Message" which is of course also why Disney wanted them onboard. George Carlin was right. "Its a big club and you aint in it".

[@mail96]

Thank you Drinker for taking the risk of permanent brain damage to review this “Starwars product” Edit: Thanks for all the likes 😎💪🏼🥃

[@skypiratecaptain]

I think this only qualifies as a “Star Wars Flavored Product”

[@johncadden202]

We thank him for his sacrifice.😢

[@HowToChangeName]

A true masochist

[@JackieBillyTom]

I thought CD said he was done with SW

[@mail96]

@@JackieBillyTom Can we even consider this garbage SW??

[@kickinghorse2405]

The sentence "And then he just kind of walks off screen so that the next scene can happen" is a fine summary of the whole series.

[@asmosisyup2557]

I mean, it's what I did when someone suggested watching the show.

[@333QQQZZZ]

Definitely amateurish - and a billion dollar franchise must be better than an advanced student film.

[@one2toomany]

That's every scene. Thet only exist to make the next scene, whether they make sense or not. Usually not.

[@Lucky_Chase]

😂😂😂

[@Trollificusv2]

Seriously. They only have a basic thin story line, and the scenes just move the characters from a state of "knowing x and y" to "knowing x, y and z" And best of all, the content of the scenes is resolved...by just moving to the next scene. All these years, writers have struggled to end scenes with a revelation or at least some exposition, some emotional release or an increase of tension; OR actually showing action or speech that resolves a plot point or move a character arc!! But Sca-rew all that! Just move along to the next scene. Check the X feeds of the writers and I bet they're finding it to be hella easy.

[@stupidmariobros4117]

At first I thought it was completely malicious, but now I see that it’s clearly mostly incompetence

[@sexistspaghettios]

It's both. Definitely both.

[@bruhdon4748]

It’s malicious incompetence.

[@torrancemoore6152]

First astronaut: "wait, so it's all just bad writing trying to shield itself with the message?" Second astronaut: * raises gun* "always has been"

[@TwiStedReality1313]

Malice disguised as incompetence

[@davidchambers44]

It's both, they have admitted it several times. They have contempt for the fans and the franchise.

[@tacitus6384]

In the EU it was typically Sith/Dark Jedi that used lightwhips BECAUSE they would cause a lot of collated damage.

[@guibox3]

Well, if in fact as some have suggested, that Vernestra and her whip are responsible for the scars on Smylo Ren's back, then she could very well be a dark jedi undercover in the Jedi order. Something seems shady about her as she realizes her sins are coming to light. Most likely the lazy writing will make her as such or she will work to cover this up so as not to ret-con Ki Adi Mundi and his sith comments from TPM.

[@Eppon6]

I mean, her lightsaber is also PURPLE. As far as I know, the purple lightsaber colouring had lore made for it during the prequels because they allowed Samuel L Jackson to pick a colour himself. He chose purple, and with it being a combination of Sith and Jedi colours (red and blue) they made it into lore that Mace Windu could use something similar to Dark side technique and/or bend dark Force skills against their users, being one of few Jedi to master risky skills that skirted the edge of dark without losing his Jedi status or soiling his reputation. But why would I care about adhering to Lightsaber accuracy when the ONLY 2 people who acted like Jedi (disciplined, unemotional, controlled, calm and detached unless driven beyond a breaking point) were a guy who was ridiculed until he had his neck snapped and a SITH LORD. They had fat Jedi, unhealthy looking skinny Jedi, emotionally volatile Jedi, Jedi with intense connections to their past actions...

[@lanetimepditty]

@@Eppon6 That would be a great easter egg, except the director said they chose all the light saber colors based on aesthetics. For this show if you think there's a hidden meaning, it's just shit writing.

[@vermis8344]

The lightsabre: an elegant weapon, for a more civilised age. The lightwhip: "I wHiP mY lIGhT bAcK aNd FoRtH! I wHiP mY lIGhT bAcK aNd FoRtH!"

[@jknop5233]

Those were around in Legends for a while. Not as a great option, but they aren't out of nowhere.

[@masteryoghurt2110]

It was created in your beloved legends. In the 80s.

[@sonofeyeabovealleffoff5462]

In the Expanded Universe it took considerable skill to wield a lightwhip. They were the choice weapon of the Dathomiri witch clans.

[@Filterdeez]

​@@masteryoghurt2110and it was a bad idea then. Nothing has changed, so you don't have the gotcha you think you do.

[@zinogre6225]

@@masteryoghurt2110 the difference was in legends things like Yoda discovering a Sith apprentice before Phantom Menace and the existence of the lightsaber whip were handled well and with care and hood writing. Here they were just jingles in front of the audience with no care as to how they fit into the overall story.

[@CRL365]

Remember when the Jedi were powerful, skilled mystics and the Sith oozed evil? This is like horrendous cosplay

[@Mr.Ekshin]

Remember when a lightsaber could block a lightsaber? Wouldn't a bendy lightsaber whip instantly win every single lightsaber fight we've ever seen? I mean, the first time you tried to block it, it just wraps around and gets you anyways? That whip would basically retcon all the movies and half the shows, making them nonsensical. Kinda reminds me of admiral gender studies turning her ship into a superweapon, simply by engaging a hyperdrive and then taking out a capital warship that was at least ten thousand times the size of her ship... and thus forcing every space battle with destroyers and death stars into retcon oblivion. It's almost like these writers have never actually watched any of the films or shows that came before their own.

[@greebj]

yeah my thought at the hyperspace telefrag was "hmm if this was a thing that worked, why don't they get some random freighter on autopilot to do this to every dreadnought and star destroyer"

[@Mr.Ekshin]

@@greebj - Yup, if any old garbage scow with a hyperdrive and a droid pilot becomes a superweapon capable of taking out death stars, then basically every single Star Wars film up to that point makes absolutely no sense at all.

[@alaron5698]

I don't think Count Dooku "oozed evil," necessarily. Not in the way Palpatine did, anyway.

[@markfranz7313]

@@Mr.Ekshin Lightwhip existed in EU before disney.

[@jonsolo32]

This series is worth every penny it cost Disney. It has spawned awesome weekly content from our favourite creators.

[@insensitive919]

Does youtube give Disney a cut? That would explain a lot.

[@jacksongibbs8998]

It’s also helping the sinking ship that is Disney hemorrhage more money and sink a little bit more.

[@Ponkan45]

We have a society where people hold grudges for supposed injustices that happened to other people by other people but somehow they are ok holding a grudge against you for it right now...

[@azunkor422]

Funnily enough they also demand compensation to them despite not being the one affected by any of it

[@markherring3513]

Are u kidding? Thats the democrat playbook...1st chaper.

[@baryony]

Indeed. I'm not saying that we should forget about what happened to previous generations, but maybe keep in mind that we aren't them?

[@jewkboxhero]

In what world does a hamster stomping on your foot cause so much pain that you have to slowly dance around until a robot squirts you in the eye. 😂

[@pleiotropik]

In Disney World, where a million monkeys are furiously hacking dialogue to fill the void without a brain called Bob Iger.

[@xuvial1391]

The same world as Jar Jar :(

[@kbahrami346]

@@xuvial1391 This show's "writing" makes me want to apologise to Jar-Jar. That says a lot.

[@aleccampbell7707]

Bumblebee Man on the Simpsons is now in SW

[@briankrause2359]

For some reason, when I heard that line in the Drinker's review I thought of 'Sweet Shin Music' and Dude Love... God, that 'jedi wookie' is like the ewoks and jar jar had a love child, and inherited the worst of both... I can't believe how much this license has fallen in the past 40 years... Seeing the original SW as a 9 year old in the theatre was a life changing event I still look fondly back on...

[@surfstarcc1]

"Communist lesbian space witches." I laugh every time I hear that. 😂

[@insensitive919]

It's so beautifully subtle 🤢

[@b_ks]

And finely nuanced.. 😂

[@AllAhabNoMoby]

@@insensitive919 But accurate.

[@darthportus]

I always laugh when big corporation is preaching about communism.

[@MaiAolei]

What makes them communist? I am not watching the show, so I'm asking out of interest.

[@absolutefoot4594]

The fact that there’s just so much sheer garbage to unpack that reviews of individual episodes are possible

[@thenegotiator8414]

People need to rally up and start protesting this crap outside Disney headquarters

[@brandonm4550]

And this was a pure filler episode.

[@Nigels_Wrld]

Watching drinkers videos on this show have been like watching someone review a pile of garbage😭

[@majorpwner241]

@@Nigels_Wrld At least piles of garbage show some life in the form of myriad pests and parasites squirming among them, though I guess that's not far off from this show...

[@dapwn3ritswatido]

I haven't watched the show but your description of the hamster character squirting goo into the bad girl's eye and kicking her shin is hilarious. Hamster gave her "The Angry Pirate!"

[@nowherefool5869]

they do have a consistent rule. male fanservice bad, gay fanservice good. while being morally hypocritical about virtue signalling about it.

[@michaeldoris5180]

As a gay fan, this series is fucking trash. Like, I don't know why they think they're doing "a good thing" when their inclusion of gay characters is in a story this fucking stupid. Just write a damn good story, I don't care if the characters are gay or not lol

[@themarsman5155]

Yeah well I'm telling you now the gay people who like star wars don't like it either, they know when people are hating on people because they can't take criticism for their show

[@alexsurles]

As a gay guy, I have to say, this is not servicing me. Like at all.

[@nowherefool5869]

@@alexsurles are you a lesbian?

[@baryony]

​@@alexsurlesreally? Those guys weren't hot?

[@jeremysolomon1209]

Never in my life have I anticipated media so much, not for interest in watching it but the online trashing of it. Thank you for your service, Critical Drinker.

[@ALForb]

Yes, you're their target audience.

[@karenwang313]

That's what star wars has been for like the last 6 years or so.

[@samus6256]

Same. I cannot look away. I am obsessed with how awful this show is. It consumes me.

[@tomaskcz946]

The more cringe, the better for review and audience obviously. This is already a gold mine. KZbin content creators might be already the only folks watching modern Hollywood at this stage.

[@Kpizzle1289]

You know it's a bad show when even other youtube critics who aren't political in their content (Jeremy Jahns for example) are trashing it, with the same remarks regarding the writing etc.

[@Viddaric]

I love how you barely even have to make fun of this shit anymore. You just describe what happens and it mocks itself.

[@le_fancy_squid]

I began noticing that with Ryan George's 'Pitch Meetings', he'd literally just state the plot of a movie and it somehow sounded like a parody...

[@daviddrabick9018]

Agreed. Critical Drinker is a critical thinker; he identifies and points out nonsense...

[@oniricPrj]

Very true indeed. When I got to "the power of manyyyyy" I lost it. Been laughing ever since. I think as a comedy it actually works great!

[@shaeVettori]

There's no way that she didn't just copy this script from some WattPad fanfic written by a 14 year old "aspiring author"...

[@Cryogenius333]

BINGO

[@kokocaptainqc]

AI is writing this im pretty sure...like every show...100% AI

[@ajanis95]

"But the light whip was in legends!" Again, not everything in legends was good. Further, the person who used it was a dark sider, someone who would definitely care less about collateral damage. Meanwhile, this is a Jedi. Someone who's supposed to be the guardian of peace, defender of the innocent, etc. To give it to a Dark Sider, while it's still a silly weapon, at least makes sense with character motivation. A Jedi would absolutely not use a weapon like this.

[@harbl99]

Member when they dumped the EU? I member. They don't get to zero history something and then appeal to history.

[@lukenestler1740]

Not to condone any part of this shambolic nonsense, but given how shady she is, and that scar across Smilo’s back, I’m pretty certain she’s his ex-master, so probably also not a jedi

[@HookersAndCoke]

I agree. Even the council would probably disapprove the use of it as well. They are very traditional and set in their ways. I don’t see how they would let a master use that when they were so critical on even certain lightsaber forms being used

[@majorpwner241]

Most of legends is trash. Idk why people defend that stuff like their honor is at stake. It's ok to have liked sub-par Star Wars products back when the movies were awesome. We didn't always make the best decisions as kids, but defending some of that stuff now? Yikes.

[@Wright805]

@@majorpwner241 No most of Legends is AWESOME! Legends is what made me a Star Wars fan. I was so-so about the movies but I absolutely loved the books and comics. Nearly all of my favourite characters are from Legends. Plus Legends is what kept Star Wars alive and kept it from fading into obscurity. The Prequel Trilogy would have never been made without Legends. Heck the word "Sith" is from Legends. It's never ONCE spoken in the movies.

[@jackmclaughlin9602]

When strong female antagonist can be defeated by a creature a third of her height stomping on her foot it’s hard to take her seriously.

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

Yep. Known possible threat for revelation. She killed Jedi, snuffing a beaver would not get a second thought.

[@jackmclaughlin9602]

@@Kyle-sr6jm Jedi: stamp on her toes, it’s the strong female antagonists only weakness

[@ThePVTfaszkivan]

This kind of thing is always shit, I still hate the battle of Endor from the original trilogy. Tribal wombats with sticks and stones beating an army capable of glassing the whole planet from orbit is just stupid.

[@gibby237]

That can REALLY sting! 😂😂😂

[@Mangaka-ml6xo]

@@ThePVTfaszkivan I miss back when that was the worst thing in the main series.

[@MrSlowestD16]

That little hamster thing was a direct attempt at copying the success of baby yoda in mando. That is the only reason he exists in this show.

[@rennmaxbeta]

Mission failed

[@douglasmunro5672]

​@@rennmaxbetanot even successful I dare say

[@skyjax96]

Every new SW property has to have a cute alien and a new robot to make toys of

[@mmxcix]

More like a rip on Rocket, except it's a weasel.

[@keithw4920]

It all started with the Ewoks.

[@rafiweisz2364]

the whole show is basically an endless pitch. they don't write anything, the just pitch and pitch and then pitch some more

[@bellesogne]

Pitching is super easy, barely an inconvenience.

[@MrTee-hw7mp]

Having a laser whip might seem like a cool idea for a second… then you realize it’s totally impractical and suicidal. I’m not surprised the idea made it into this script.

[@TheJohn8765]

Having played around with whips when I was a kid, a laser whip is at least as dangerous to the user as the attacker.

[@matthewpatrick7263]

@@TheJohn8765 And I thought Kylo Ren's lightsaber was dangerous to the user.

[@mrdemon__]

It was an idea from the HQs from star wars high republic, and it is a cool idea in those HQs, but I've afraid of what will happen in this show

[@starnerd064]

The lightwhip has been a thing in Star Wars since the 80’s tho?? Also the normal lightsaber itself is suicidal. It just so happens that the Jedi have a magic bubble around them that protects them from chopping their limbs off.

[@No_nameOG]

@@starnerd064that lightwhip was a metal whip with laser blades that could be activated between the metal connectors. It was not a floppy lightsaber blade. This is not Family Guy Blue Harvest. Edit for spelling.

[@thibautisserant]

The physics of "He just steps on her boot, but really really hard and she stays jumping on one foot for a few seconds." lead me to believe that whoever wrote this did not mentally age past 8 years old.

[@somethinganonymous1723]

Tom and Jerry-ass scriptwriting

[@Trollificusv2]

Yeah, they've got a vague, Cartoon Physics 101 understanding of things in the physical world. And the "action scenes" reflect this.

[@franckoliver1899]

The gooey liquid squirting in her eye also reminded me of the Nickelodeon's "Quiet on set" documentary, all those very suggestive sex acts they had the young actors do ...

[@don.keebles]

That wascally wabbit!

[@adzmo5422]

I can see it now - that was one person's contribution in the writing room. Instead of discarding it, they decided to insert it somewhere so that writer would "feel heard", regardless of the damage it does to the overall product.

[@everythingisawesome2903]

Acolyte? More like Acoshite.

[@insensitive919]

I'm the Acolyte and you gotta deal with it!

[@jacksongibbs8998]

How about The Sackoshite?

[@chriswhite599]

I like The Cuntolytes

[@i_basl]

reading these comments made me audibly laugh

[@DerBocki]

Yes that's definetly shite

[@croaton07]

If there's one thing this show has gotten right, it's that women are the villains.

[@michielayers3692]

You can literally FEEL the design by committee in this episode. “I want rat guy to warn Squid game guy.” “NO, he should fight her directly!” Horrible committee fighting ensues. “Okay, since no one wants to remove their ideas, we will to both!” Repeat ad nauseum for EVERY idea that pops in their heads.

[@mystery_reeves]

This is so true lmao

[@Mr.Ekshin]

Committee: A lightsaber whip would look cool! One person in the room who's actually seen Star Wars: Wait... a lightsaber whip? Wouldn't a bending lightsaber instantly win every single lightsaber fight we've ever seen? I mean, the first time you tried to block it, it just wraps around and gets you anyways? That would basically retcon all the movies and half the shows, making them nonsensical !!! Committee: Nah... it'll be fine.

[@gosuprime]

George Lucas is a genius. He sold the franchise for billions, and Disney make stuff so awful that people look at the original trilogy and say "wow, we need George back, Star Wars didn't suck with him here."

[@majorpwner241]

He'll be a genius when he buys it back for $20 and scrubs everything Disney did from existence. Until then I think he's just a masterful troll.

[@TheMarkieGoodBoy]

Disney have tanked it so badly that people look back at the prequels fondly

[@coopdaill]

@@TheMarkieGoodBoywhich is amazing since they aren’t good

[@trollingisasport]

Yeah. At this point, I'd rather watch The Adventures of Jar Jar Binks

[@timmyisthereason]

@@TheMarkieGoodBoy this shit is so bad, they already have people looking back at the sequels fondly.

[@ChrisMisMYhandle]

"Who look like they use safety scissors to open a packet of crisps" is such a great burn. I'm stealing it 😂

[@Holonomics]

Absolute classic that one :)

[@thebigdog2295]

You're not the only one. 😂

[@L0-R3Z]

BAG OF CHIPS The Colonies won. Give up, UK.

[@mattt2277]

I legitimately think the 20 writers in the room are allowed to write one scene each for every episode, and they don't look at any of the other scenes

[@SomeYouTubeTraveler]

That's _the power of manyyyyyyyyyyy_

[@buzmil]

I disagree with the drinker on one item, Rebecca Hendersen knows exactly why she’s there. She’s the director’s wife. And it shows.

[@eyeballtickler]

Gonna be honest. She's fine, not great, not even good, just she's OK. Plain character with nothing much about her shining through. What's really bad are the minor characters like 'Soy Boy'. Poor acting & absolutely zero believability that they are a legendary Jedi

[@sryan9547]

Another thing. There is no plot hole in the Squid game guy not sensing her intentions. Jedi power levels vary a lot and most are relatively weak. It's not clear to viewers since we typically only see the top 0.1% of Jedi.

[@HULKHOGAN1]

Rebecca Henderson and Lez Headland are not wives. They are a same sex couple and that's all anyone in their position will ever be

[@CornyBum]

@@sryan9547 He doesn't even need to sense her intentions; he just needs to sense that she's not his familiar former padawan, and the show has shown him being even more sensitive via the Force.

[@erronblack308]

How original

[@IntoTheFire777]

Anyone else think about Spaceballs when the "limp" lightsaber comes on screen...I should've phrased that differently LMAO

[@VariaIV]

“You mean the force?” “No. The Schwartz.”

[@KritoSkywaker]

*"The Schwartz?!"*

[@starnerd064]

What’s wrong with the lightwhip? It’s been a thing in Star Wars since the 80s.

[@juancabardo21]

You can really tell that Lee Jung-Jae and Manny Jacinto are way too good for this and are trying to hold the show up on their backs

[@lorenzosartelli7557]

Imo Manny Jacinto had the same ability of becoming a great villain as Adam Driver did before their shows turned out to be completely trash

[@mntccd]

It’s basically workplace abuse at this point.

[@aleccampbell7707]

Some jobs you only do for the $

[@margarethmichelina5146]

Especially for Lee Jung-Jae, this is his first role where he has to speak English fully. Guy could have a better English movie or show project instead of.... this shit.

[@itsyourboi5783]

It's so bad bc they're clearly trying their best, but It's brought down by this Abomination of a show

[@brahsumatra]

Disney still hasn’t been able to cancel the critical drinker, score one for the good guys.

[@electricbayonet2]

“[Neither] Amandla Stenburg and Rebecca Henderson seem to understand how or why they got here.” Well, the latter is for the money. But for the former? It’s a mystery. Why would Weinstein’s former assistant give a leading role to an untalented actress, and spend their press junkets pawing at her, cackling at her non-jokes, and talking about being gay? Truly the thoughts and motives of Leslie ‘Of course she was in on it’ Hedland are an enigma.

[@justateddybear951]

Holy fk Rebecca Henderson and Leslie Hedland are married.. it's a nepo role LMAO

[@SINGHDASLAYA]

Wouldn't surprise me if Amanda had to do some bedroom favours for this role. Lesley weinstein clear as day.

[@cool-guycharlie6380]

@@justateddybear951good for the correction. Still doesn’t excuse any of the terribleness.

[@ashroskell]

Interesting comment, that. But tell me? Am I the only one wishing the Drinker could maybe move on now? “It’s funny how we all revert to type, sooner or later, isn’t it?” Says the guy who gave us a really entertaining video about Werner Herzog and then wheels out the safe old Star Wars clickbait. Cue the memes we’ve all seen a thousand times (literally) and the echoing, “the message,” voice, as though we all have the memories of goldfish.

[@nikolaspapanagnou2723]

Maybe Amandla should stick to only voicing Spider Byte.

[@scotscottscottt]

A bottle episode? In a series of 8 half hour episodes that cost $180M? Now I've seen everything... lol

[@almiromeragic9341]

Disney has become a money laundering scheme.

[@pickyphysicsstudent201]

Tis' not lack of budget but lack of imagination. That and runtime has more padding than a teenager's bra on picture day. I can't name a Netflix show which wasn't at least 70% padding between episodes 2-7.

[@samus6256]

Honestly I am baffled at the cost of this, abortion.

[@haku8135]

They have 8 episodes, and so far TWO of them have been fucking skipped.

[@redmask6345]

@@scotscottscottt Lmao Dune 2 is 190M so where did the 179M go in the Acolyte?

[@BikFlofer]

I love that the Jedi whip scene was used in EVERY marketing attempt for this show and it's just an awkward meaningless scene

[@MadIIMike]

I mean... every scene they could have used would just have been an awkward meaningless scene. The next step would be marketing it like Games, where they just show something that ain't even in it.

[@shagrat47]

​@@MadIIMikeHmm, despite "Rogue One" being actually quite good, I remember that there was a dominant scene in all the trailers, where Jin Erso stands on the Comms Tower and a T.I.E fighter looms behind her... that never made it into the movie, as the complete plot ending was changed after the trailers were released. So Disney already did this to us...😂

[@BikFlofer]

@@shagrat47 my thoughts exactly. it's already happened

[@Osprey850]

It was awkwardly forced into the episode to establish that Vernestra uses a lightsaber whip so that it's not such a surprise when we eventually learn that she used it long ago to make the scar on Qimir's back.

[@majorpwner241]

@@shagrat47 Augh that movie is terrible, man. I couldn't even get through it in one sitting on my first viewing. I haven't made it through to the 'decent' battle at the end a second time. Just being the least bad Star Wars production by fuckin' Disney does not make that movie good. Far from it.

[@TheBrubaker2]

I hope this series goes on forever. It is providing some of the best comedy commentary I've seen on the net for years 😂

[@dagrynch]

Amandla Stenberg and Rebecca Henderson understand exactly how they got there Sleeping with Leslye Headland

[@daigneauray7087]

What? I mean, I know Jedi Master Pistachio Head is her wife, but Little Miss Discourse?

[@Adamguy2003]

Stenberg got the role because she's "Diverse" and rich.

[@marsoelflaco5722]

Following in the footsteps of good ole' uncle Harvey.😉

[@giveandtake8428]

It's either who you know. Or who you blow.

[@marsoelflaco5722]

@@giveandtake8428 and that's Hollywood!

[@calciumnugget4114]

I'm only going to say this once. This is not canon, nothing like this is or will ever be canon. Nothing Disney says or do will will make this canon, period. Thank you, have a great day.

[@caronstout354]

Disney+ Star Wars = Anti-canon Star wars

[@anthonyc8963]

Clearly you don't realize these shows are all based on previous books/comics...but I'm glad you're around to declare what is cannon and what is not. Thanks!

[@calciumnugget4114]

@@anthonyc8963 Clearly you don't realize that this show basically contradicts almost EVERY rule of not only Star Wars, but also disregards the basic practices of writing.

[@ItsaKindOfMagic86]

people give rogue one and andor and the 2 first seasons of mando a pass ... lol they need to understand you either have standards or you dont, and disney's SW is not worthy to be on the same level as Attack of the Clones, nor the Holiday Special, the people running disney SW D E S P I S E the fans

[@OhRamos]

The Mandalorian is cannon.

[@John-lo2wn]

Shadiversity did a hilarious breakdown of the fight from episode 5 and how poorly it was choreographed.

[@vincenthu9773]

"safety scissors to open a packet of crisps" fucking help me I dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@brandonm4550]

Cue the next shill media article about Star Wars fans being the problem with modern day Star Wars and not the pile of crap they keep releasing.

[@Adamguy2003]

I think it's CBR's turn to puke out one of those sorts of articles.

[@williamedwards4151]

Watching the Acolyte? Nah. Watching the Drinker cover the Acolyte? HELL YEAH. CAN'T CLICK FAST ENOUGH.

[@jonforris]

That Sith guy was so transparently the Sith because the bad writing made it so obvious, it was laughable.

[@PilotHat]

Hard to believe he’s the bad guy. He killed the poorly written Jedi and that annoying padawan. He’s the hero in this series!

[@williamjeffery9653]

@@PilotHat Clearly, he is one of those illusive 'light Sith' that you can play as in the SWTOR MMO.

[@nathanielhellerstein5871]

Bad writing? Then they're all Sith.

[@DrMundo92]

Remember that he wasn't captured by the Jedi because the "plot" asked for it, because the Jedi had him until they didnt just because. One thing the show is doing well is to banalize the Jedi as a whole.

[@arkantos2227]

just as transparent as him having been the padawan of green lady alien

[@codemaxim3168]

Hats off to you drinker for putting yourself through hell so the rest of us don't have to be tormented by burning garbage like this.

[@stevephillips9695]

Acolyte Episode 1: The Cringey Menace Acolyte Episode 2: Attack of the Cringe Acolyte Episode 3: Revenge of the Cringe Acolyte Episode 4: A New Cringe Acolyte Episode 5: The Cringe Strikes Back Acolyte Episode 6: Return of the Cringe Acolyte Episode 7: The Cringe Awakens Acolyte Episode 8: The Last Cringe Acolyte Episode 9: Rise of Cringe

[@ALTDOK667]

Wow, original!

[@samus6256]

The cringe is so strong it single handedly created episode 9

[@chriswhite599]

​@@samus6256😂😂😂

[@OzymandiasWasRight]

Maybe the Cringe Christmas Special will redeem the entire franchise.

[@w12266]

Acolyte Episode 10: Somehow, Cringe Returned. Acolyte Episode 11: The Power of One, The Power of Two, The Power of Cringe. Acolyte Episode 12: It's Cringing Time.

[@georgehouliaras7239]

I cried when Spock showed up and said "That still only counts as one."

[@rogierb5945]

I cried when ms headland led me to her office and this weird dude started touching me.

[@zackrodriguez6653]

When Season 2 Homelander unplugged Tom Holland from the Matrix I stood on my bed and clapped.

[@edmundtrummer3182]

Dude I couldn't believe it when Jon snow finally laid down the law and said "do not cite the deep magic to me witch! It's jonning time!" And snowed all over the place. Badass episode!

[@joe9739]

Lol too far

[@pickyphysicsstudent201]

"The power of the many outweighs the power of the few or the power of one." - Spook, 20

[@ReignSupreme2014]

I know how Amandla and Shrek got their parts in this show: One got the job because Headland WANTS to eat their pie. The other is there because Headland IS eating their pie. Simple.

[@georgedavidson957]

the casting couch got more stylish with a prettier trim but its still the casting couch.

[@Cookie_gobbler141]

My friend told me “brazzers has better plot and character development then this” 💀💀💀

[@Shorty_Lickens]

Your friend is a liar. Brazzers has shit writing. Now VCA.....

[@freddiebozwell7049]

I agree, also my friend said, harrumph!,

[@SavouryGalette]

I've read gay PWP fanfictions that have better character development than The Acolyte.

[@rhenmerchant5715]

Best line of the last 6 years, "Fuck off Michael Burnham". I actually laughed out loud.

[@LarsLoveToMosh]

Same Star Trek Died for me before Star Wars I abandoned the Fandom early in Discoverys Livecycel. Same now with Star Wars

[@hipNrip]

Sigourney Weaver in Aliens and Emily Blunt in Edge of Tomorrow are two excellent examples of real “strong female” characters. How does Disney consistently get this wrong.

[@arcavius4498]

Don’t forget Linda Hamilton as Sarah Conner

[@Juhno]

Winona Ryder in Stranger Things was also in a way an extremely strong female character. Or at least she was before her character was changed to an annoying comic relief.

[@emorsi]

And Charlize Theron in "Atomic Blonde".

[@caronstout354]

Disney only knows about writing "princess" characters.

[@varathiel]

Olivia Dunham from Fringe is a great strong female character.

[@startthebengine]

Wait, green woman of exceptional social status has a WHIP?? Well, that’s it. She was Smylo’s master and gave him that scar. There’s literally no reason they’d show that whip, have her hide this from the council, and even entertain the notion that Sol would murder his friends for ZERO reason. God, that’s… that’s just awful. What an embarrassment it must be to have your name attached to something so awful. Wait, Leslye was WHO’S assistant?!?!

[@drewfuller8660]

Yep, I thought it was super obvious that she's the big bad, framing Squid Games.

[@GeraltofRivia22]

She's the one who murdered the lesbian space witches.

[@startthebengine]

Yep. Like the FIRST thing you say is “Oh, Sol def murdered them with ZERO motive”. Not the dark, assassin that’s missing, not the sith apprentice, and not the unknown quantity that is Osha. It’s DEFINITELY Sol. The writers of this show, my god.

[@majorpwner241]

@@GeraltofRivia22 "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most Sapphic of them all?!"

[@Wright805]

As much as I hate to defend this show I have to be fair. Vernestra's use of a lightwhip was established in the novel she debuted in. They're just maintaining continuity.

[@MustBeJoKin65]

“The Holiday Special” is made more epic by the week.

[@jacksongibbs8998]

“The Holiday Special” starring Jar Jar Binks as every single character would be better than the Sackoshite.

[@reignman30]

Smilo: this helmet is perfect Osha: it will be, when it fits a whaman

[@casbyness]

Next she'll demand he calibrate the Force for her.

[@vinylated]

"It's mam!!!"

[@CT-1975]

Just not what happened at all but hey. I shouldn't expect more from a star wars fan

[@allmycircuits8850]

Then it will be OSHA approved!

[@CornyBum]

@@CT-1975 just a joke but hey, I shouldn't expect more from some rando acting humorless for the sake of some cheap smear

[@heartysquid]

I like how they carefully made it a completely rounded, unsegmented whip without any stuff that suggests careful plasma sheathing to make a lightsaber whip actually look plausible.

[@mbob4337]

That pip robot really does everything. Including have a charging port on its broken head. So if we break a smart phone in half. It will have a second charge port too?

[@ColdWarAviator]

😂

[@archangel_josh]

I liked that it operated like a smart phone - pressing the top and side button at the same time. I groaned when that happened.

[@DUKEzors]

Absolutely, maybe 4chan can get the marketing materials out again. They did a great job informing everyone that iPhones recharge in the microwave.

[@MatiPryjomko]

Makes you wonder why the fuck did they have massive droids like R2-D2 a hundred years later if they could do less than the Pip palm pilot thingy

[@jamesstarks7630]

I mean they literally showed him being 2 separate pieces in multiple episodes. You just got brain rot

[@5Mariner]

“Go away now”, never gets old.

[@beowulfsrevenge4369]

Smilo Ren: "Would you like to see my yellow lightsaber?" OSHA: "I see your Schwartz is as big as mine." Smilo Ren: "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!!!"

[@RandomlyDrumming]

😆😆 made me chuckle

[@JackieBillyTom]

"...and you want to be my latex salesman..."

[@Сайтамен]

Pip: Virgin alarm!

[@kultur-vultur]

You mean schwantz not schwartz? Unless you're're talking about schwartze schwantze.

[@AntediluvianRomance]

​@@kultur-vultur Maybe it was his little Arnie?

[@THEINFINITIVERSESAGA]

*Here We Go Again*

[@jt4317]

“Seduced by the dark side” took on a whole new meaning with this episode.😂

[@lordofthepizzapie9319]

Giggity.

[@Lonovavir]

Fifty shades of force lightning.

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

"What tipped you to the Darkside? The red lightsabers?" "Yea, his 'lightsaber' did it."

[@Herr_Affe]

Well, they already got the whip lightsabers...

[@aleccampbell7707]

Jason would take it too literal

[@homoduplex]

They do have a consistent rule. It's that everything is to be viewed in terms of the hierarchy of oppression and to be dealt with accordingly. Men can't be objectified like women can because they have "all the power". Objectifying women is oppression, objectifying men is levelling the playing field, i.e. liberation.

[@duncanpaton7344]

I will never watch Disney Star Wars especially the acolyte, but I really do look forward to a Wednesday, when my favourite critics come out to “discuss” / “shit on” lol, the acolyte! I want to thank the Critical Drinker, AZ, Gary, RK, Geeks & Gamers, drunk3po, Star Wars theory, Disparu, Chad, Jeremy Jahns and many more for their services and putting themselves through this sludge to come out the other side and give us actual entertainment worth watching!

[@samgrant83]

You need to check out Let’s Review Crap Writing. His reviews are awesome, brutally funny.

[@veronicahispana]

@@samgrant83 The Despot of Antrim is also going to review this crap once all the episodes have been released. I honestly can't wait for him to eviscerate this garbage!

[@vinylated]

Don't forget Snarky Jay! 🔥

[@jacksongibbs8998]

What about Dr. Disaster?

[@TransformersBoss]

2:00 “anyway, Smilo Ren challenges Strong Female Protagonist to touch his lightsaber” Written by Harvey Winestein’s former personal assistant

[@caesarjergens]

The saddest part is that even by these snippets the difference in acting ability is so clear... Many Jacinto seems to command the screen whereas Stenbeg looks like a rabbit caught in a headlight.

[@aleccampbell7707]

Manny and Sol hands down the 2 best actors

[@DUKEzors]

Bortles would be so proud.

[@caesarjergens]

@@aleccampbell7707 I know Jacinto from The Good Place and from the snippets I`ve seen he plays a complete different character here and it looks believable, same for Lee (Squid Game). Charlie Barnett (Lord) was good in Russian doll, Dafne Keen (Jecki) was ok in Logan. It feels like they both need a good script to get a good performance whereas Jacinto and Lee can even get a good performance out of crappy writing.

[@333QQQZZZ]

She cannot handle two roles but she is non-binary. That’s enough for Disney.

[@jedielder7970]

The Acolyte is like watching a Tesla Cyber Truck in slow motion about to rear-end a Ford Pinto.

[@nunyabusiness9433]

Can't be. They fixed the problems with the Pinto and it actually became a decent product. There is exactly 0% chance of that happening here.

[@jedielder7970]

@@nunyabusiness9433 LOL... at least you get the metaphor. This show is a train wreck. 🤣 PS: If they can also fix the Acolyte I would be pleaseed.

[@GearShotgun]

7:20 The light whip was banned, or at least heavily shunned, within the jedi order. It's a purely offensive weapon that forces the user to be highly aggressive, and is completely at odds with the Jedi's philosophy. As for why they choose to include a weapon that no jedi would have, I've got two theories. 1. Someone liked it and decided to throw it in, purely for its own sake, regardless of whether it broke canon. Or 2) Its an excuse to let Rebecca Henderson's character do cool lightsaber stuff, without her needing to learn or perform the choreography. She can just stand at one end of the set and swing a baton, while whoever she's supposed to be fighting pretends to parry an invisible rope. EDIT: So apparently her character had the light whip in the novels that came out before this, so that answers that.

[@barrrre]

Option 3. She's the Sith master. Smylo-ren scar looks like inflicted by a whip right?

[@Funaru]

​​@@barrrre This is so stupid it has to be true. I think I remember the actress even said in an interview that she wasn't really a Jedi in the show.

[@whaguitars]

Option 4 Lesbien Headlamp writes what she knows and is into this sort of stuff.

[@Wright805]

Vernestra (Rebecca Henderson's character) uses a lightwhip in the novel she debuted in. It's actually a plot/character point within the story; she built the thing after receiving Force visions (she decided that if the Force was guiding her to build it then she should do as the Force intends) and keeps it a secret from other Jedi precisely because she's uncomfortable about how they'll react (it can switch from a regular lightsabre to whip mode and back). To be honest in the novels/comics Vernestra is actually a pretty cool character. Her getting butchered here is just another of this show's problems.

[@GearShotgun]

@@Wright805 Okay thats fair. Havent read the High Republic stuff, and i dont know anyone who has

[@darrylferguson3622]

The writers are basically so focused on telling their "amazing" story, that they seem to write the plot first, get to filming, and then try to retroactively figure out how the characters would fit into it as the actors/actresses perform the script - however, instead of having the plot change around the character's actions they just give the characters "light" brain damage to push the plot along

[@Mopark25]

It's not even plot first, it's propaganda and the message first. Everything else is derived from that.

[@brownronin]

So in episode 5, Smilo Ren force heals Rick James, but then in Episode 6 she has a dressing on her wound?. The writers can't even keep consistency from one episode to the next smh.

[@nicknice2904]

They cant keep shit consistent from scene to scene

[@johnhoran9840]

@@nicknice2904 Force healing is a Light Side ability. The flushed the lore right down the toilet.

[@dionsutrisnawijaya8554]

Writing under influence

[@movinon1242]

@dionsutrisnawijaya8554 ... Don't you dare bring booze into this. There's plenty of evidence that suggests drunks can turn good writers into great writers. I'd say that kambuchka tea crap, soy, and possibly whatever Mr. Headland had leftover from Bill Cosby's cocktail garnishing tray are the more likely culprits here

[@stuartspencer2161]

@@johnhoran9840 Some would argue that Palpatine did the same trick on Anakin on Mustafar, that Obi-Wan did to Luke on Tatooine. It wasn't however the same Force healing we saw in the sequels. As for flushing the lore down the toilet, you are absolutely right.

[@gpsywolf]

The Jedi Council in the Prequels: "The Sith havent been seen in a thousand years." The Acolyte: "Hold my beer".

[@chuckwagon9923]

What is with the modern writing that is “Bad guy kills dozens to hundreds of innocent people; here’s your forced empathy of them”

[@Paulafan5]

Maybe because the writers identify more with the villains than the heroes? lol.

[@333QQQZZZ]

Qimir is a murderer. Why would OSHA trust a person killing 7 persons?

[@HaymesMichaelC]

@@Paulafan5That much is certain.

[@CT-1975]

He's not being redeemed at all. He just happens to be focused on and you brainless Gen Z kids immediately thought he must be trying to be a good guy

[@northeastcorals]

@@CT-1975 I think they were on about dreadlocks bad twin

[@EatTheMarxists]

I would never be stupid enough to actually watch this show, but Lord how I love the ‘reviews’ from you, Nerdrotic, and Disparu. Always hysterical.

[@samus6256]

Same, bro, same. All 3 are 100% go tos especially for this show

[@jonathanhaynes9914]

The Little Platoon is great to.

[@F0XRunner]

This show is a content competitor to Velma. Low effort, terrible product, and it shows immediately.

[@TheBatPunkRises]

And both show runners blame the audience for its obvious failure.

[@This_awesomeguy64]

@@TheBatPunkRisesfr fr

[@Scripture-Man]

Velma and that time when She-Hulk twirked then come out of the TV and spoke to the producers of the show.

[@h.a.9880]

The idea of having protagonists and antagonists end up together this way is not a bad concept in and of itself. It gives you a chance to get more complex interaction than just exchanging banter/exposition during a fightscene and you're able to give a much more interesting portrayal of the personalities and motivations of your characters. That being said, this show has not just failed to take advantage like that, it actually exposed a key problem with the writing: There are only very shallow personalities and motivations involved. The manga Blade of the Immortal has done the "protagonist mingles with the antagonist" masterfully (spoilers ahead): It's a story set in feudal Japan and features a 16 year old girl named Rin, whose family ran a swordfighting school. One day when she was 14, her parents were killed by a swordfighter named Kagehisa and his henchmen, so she's out for revenge and tries to hunt him down with the help of a hired bodyguard named Manji. Kagehisa, meanwhile, has started attacking swordschools all over Edo, trying to erradicate them and establish his way of swordfighting in their stead. In one chapter, Kagehisa manages to catch Rin while she's alone, overwhelms her, pins her to a tree... and they talk. Rin explains that he killed her family and that she wants to take revenge, Kagehisa explains his own background, his family's history with her family and his motivation behind attacking swordschools. It's a pivotal moment in the story, since it adds many layers of complexity to Kagehisa as an antagonist, you can understand what his motivation is and even though you might not agree with his methods, you can at least appreciate that he's not just a one-note badguy and has his own reasons for what he's doing and why. It's a very fascinating exchange of the different motivations of those characters. Kagehisa lets her go and the way it's explained, it's perfectly in character for him to just let her go, even though she's a threat to him. In later chapters, there's another plotline where Rin and Kagehisa actually end up being forced to fight a mutual enemy for a time. The uneasy alliance is very fun to watch and adds much more to the character dynamics. Of course, giving this cliff's notes description doesn't do the writing any justice, it's a great read and the way it's written you understand that the two characters are essentially victims of circumstances beyond their control, stuff that happened generations ago, that made them end up on two different sides of an unavoidable conflict.

[@VygoShorts]

Im starting to think they are purposefully making shitty shows so when they release a mid movie it wont look as bad in comparison

[@nathanielhellerstein5871]

Or as a tax dodge, or to launder money, or to ruin Star Wars for monopoly purposes.

[@dp2901]

Jar-Jar Binks: "Meesa the most weetawded character in the franchise!" Basil: "Hold muh beers!"

[@deultima]

I would rather watch an entire serises based on Jar-Jar than this crap

[@cidmontenegro8225]

I was told once that 'tv' shows are so much better now because writers don't have to come up with 20+ episodes of material anymore. Meaning they needed a lot of filler to create so many episodes, so you may get 2 great episodes, 6 good ones, 10 average, and 7 would be bad. The implication being in 10 episodes you can cut out all the bad and most of the average and it will be an overall very good show. I told him in theory he makes sense, but let me introduce you to reality. please meet the acolyte.

[@Herr_Affe]

Ha! If they cut all the bad material, they won't have enough material for 2 episodes, let alone a season. The Sopranos had what, 14 eps per season? Even the "side-quest" episodes (except maybe for the Kevin Finnerty ones), such as Pine Barrens, were entertaining. There's no fixing or remediating incompetence.

[@qtasma]

Tv shows back then were so much better, because they had 20+ episodes imo. They would include so much in 40 minutes and had enough time to flush out the story and make us care for the characters, without rushing anything. We also didn’t have to wait over a year for the next season since it took like 5/6 months to complete 1 season 😭😭

[@Trollificusv2]

@@qtasma What appears to be the "story" of this show would make a tight, densely-written script for a two hour movie.

[@lizesan]

Drinker, I've been following you since the early KZbin days and I beg of you, enough with the Star Wars now. Yes we know it's utter garbage. So please can you get back to reviewing movies and OTHER shows?! PLEASE!

[@earthtotom]

I have zero intention of watching any of The Acolyte, but I'm tuning into the Drinker's review every week!

[@Teh509]

I get the the impression creative writing courses at universities are now just safe spaces where no one can be criticised, leading to this utter bollocks.

[@m.c.martin]

As someone who went through Creative Writing at a University, that’s basically all it is! Nobody tells you what ideas are shit, they just tell* you what to improve and what to expand on. I didn’t feel like I learned anything about Creative Writing in the 3 years I was at a University. I’ve learned more from KZbin. The only thing University helped with was where to get your work published and where to go. Other than that, I learned nothing on how to make my work better

[@m0-m0597]

You are just afraid of strong diverse creatives

[@Teh509]

@@m0-m0597 Yes, that's it. I'm shitting my pants because a trans fridge magnet spend has last three years studying creative writing at the highest level but is still incapable of stringing together an involving plot.

[@m0-m0597]

@@Teh509 *how dare you*

[@Teh509]

@@m.c.martin I recently went back to Uni as a 40 year old, studied Brewing science. I think it might just be the generation gap but fuck my life it was eye opening. Nothing is challenged and all is permitted. They're terrified of offending each other like their feeble psychological defences couldn't handle even the most gentle of slights. I went with a group of other mature students. I honestly didn't think uni was this bad until I saw it for myself.

[@williamjeffery9653]

So the 'lightwhip' was technically a thing from the Expanded Universe...but it was always considered cringe by all but the most diehard fans. It was also supposed to be more of a physical whip surrounded by an energy field rather then a floppy noodle version of a lightsaber. This is one aspect of the EU that they should have left buried, but Disney Star Wars is so creatively bankrupt that they had to cherry pick aspects of the EU that they destroyed to put back into their 'new' Star Wars, even the dumb ideas.

[@Dave.Angel.Eco.Warrior]

I struggle to understand the physics behind it. Light travels in a straight line. Lightasabers are straight.

[@sonofeyeabovealleffoff5462]

​@@Dave.Angel.Eco.Warrior Fairly easily explained. It was a segmented series of cylindrical emitters emerging from the physical whip's hilt which acted as emitter/ conduits for plasma energy.

[@leonrobinson8180]

@@Dave.Angel.Eco.Warrior It could work. It is a physical whip. Maybe it has microscopic LED bulbs on it or something.

[@draxianhyserski1654]

@@Dave.Angel.Eco.Warrior The ones in legends or at least in SW TFU games were more like a electrical whip, so same as weapons of Grevious Magna Guards - not cutting, electrocuting & with ability to stop light saber.

[@sonofeyeabovealleffoff5462]

This lightwhip in this series shouldn't even work. There's no section of segmented metal-emitter tendrils that emit any type of energy as was stated in the New Essential Guide to Weapons and Technology.

[@AkuTenshiiZero]

We had to listen to these tourists go on for years about Leia's slave outfit, which was MEANT to be dehumanizing because she was Jabba's SLAVE, who I will remind you she strangled to death in retribution for everything he did to her, Han, and Luke. But then those same tourists turn around and display these guys like slabs of meat. Unlike how Leia's situation was to put her at a low point to fight her way out of, these scenes serve no narrative purpose and no meaning can be drawn from them.

[@Wismic]

the way Critical Drinker has a fresh and unique trash talking session for the first 60 seconds of every video is a Leonardo-tier art form

[@cappadocius9379]

I like how his back has whip marks on it and we just so happen to see a lightsaber whip in this episode. Subtle

[@TheSuperappelflap]

A lightsaber whip wouldnt leave whip marks...it would cut through someone. A regular whip however...

[@machinedieselx4767]

Darth Gimp is into the kinky. Jokes on you. He likes that the whiplash. 🌶

[@machinedieselx4767]

@@TheSuperappelflap This is Disney. Disney lightsaber whip would do whatever the script needed. 🤣

[@thepalerider9635]

@@machinedieselx4767 wait they actually have a script for this garbage?

[@joak9992]

@thepalerider9635 Of course they do. You can't have a story this bad by relying only on improv.

[@wht-rabt-obj]

OSHA screaming "Because I failed"! Was literally the worst acting I've ever seen.

[@fight_and_die1573]

There was a blooper in the prequel trilogy of Natalie saying “let go of me” when there was no action between her or Hayden (essentially she just said the line) and that’s how that entire exchange in this epsiode felt to me lol

[@IstariAzul777]

I really don’t get why this Amandla is getting such obviously extra special treatment

[@williamflowers9435]

@@IstariAzul777because Lez-lie has had her eye on Amanda since she was 17… and Harvey taught his apprentice, ‘er… um, assistant everything he knows 👅 🦪

[@KaoticReach1999]

It literally looks like a poorly written, small budget Star Wars parody you'd see on KZbin back in 2011

[@MTB571]

“This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.” - Elegant like a whip.

[@shagrat47]

A whip - the weapon of a slaver... Jedi? 🤔

[@LinuxVeteran]

On that note, wouldn't you basically kill any typical lightsaber wielder in a duel with this thing, as long as it didn't kill you first? They'd block your attack, and the thing would whip right around them and cut them in half.

[@Biosynthnut]

Lumiya in Legends(old EU) used a light saber whip.

[@tylerulfmann4586]

@@LinuxVeteransomething something force controls the light Sorta like why don’t jedi and sith just turn off their opposition lightsaber via the force It’s dumb since again you can do all kind of cool ridiculous stuff like a lightsaber spin shield or even better a chainsaw

[@adamlucas4753]

Yeah: A laser-whip - All the clumsy inaccuracy of a blaster combined with the limited range and potential for errant self-harm of a light saber!

[@Raithial]

the story-issues feel very AI to me.. "write me a tense scene where character A threatens Character B" "write me a scene where Character A tries to interrogate Character B" etc

[@lamontmcleod2]

And the thing about people who would even think of using AI to make something like this, is that they're not competent enough to know that this not actually very good. They're the same sort of people who would watch a show as bad as this and say "Yeah it was pretty good". On some level, they get that it's not great but they don't really know why... They just think that all scripts are scripts and it's just a matter of filming them.

[@dirtpeanut1820]

I could gen AND write a better script than this

[@movinon1242]

There's no way AI would write something this terrible.

[@19JSC92]

"the power of one, the power of two, the power of many" is a perfect example of dialogue created by AI

[@majorpwner241]

"Write me a scene where a space hamster tricks and then does battle with a Sith."

[@thepat4006]

Agree with all your points Drinker. One additional laughing stock moment was when she restet the droid to factory setting by pressing and holding two buttons exactly like you would on a smartphone ...

[@mntccd]

You can picture the moment in the writers’ room when they came up with that. Just awful, embarrassing, mid, cringe.

[@gammafrost]

@@mntccdit’s ridiculous 😂😂😂😂😂 and somehow the budget is almost 200 million.

[@henryslager9406]

Yeah that was very cringe as well. Another additional moment not mentioned is when Osha takes the guys lightsaber during the nude scene and then points it at him like it is a gun. Except a gun fires a bullet you know. You won’t hit him by turning on a lightsaber from that distance.. not to mention it is laughable that she thinks she would stand a chance against a guy who just killed a lot of better trained Jedi than her, with all those Jedi fighting him at the same time.

[@thepat4006]

@@henryslager9406 I stored this one as a strange not so subtle feminist messaging: Girl points an oversized dildo at half naked guy to show that she is in control. Of course she isn’t. So the message is: „Girls, just because a powerful guy points his dick towards you doesn’t mean that you have to follow his orders.“ I might be in over-interpretation mode, but just the fact that I’m considering this in a StarWars show illustrates how far down the drain the franchise has gone.

[@barfyman-dm6zx]

I fondly remember when that hamster dude and his buddies were trying to sell us Kia Souls