The All Guardsmen Party: The Xenotech Heresy Part 6

[@willrogers3793]

I just love Jim + Hannah, both of them are living proof that the Mechanicus aren’t *all* a bunch of pricks. And I gotta say, the nerds all hanging out watching the 40k equivalent of anime was oddly heartwarming.

[@CommissarMitch]

Sarge: "There is no Heretek fleet!" Heretek Fleet: "Allow us to introduce ourselves"

[@noellesato311]

I love that one of the biggest hype-ups of this arc wasnt just the mystery of the world-purging, the discovery of the callback necron ship, or the arrival of the Magos, but WHO WON THE BETTING POOL

[@sydvigue824]

And on this day, the Eldar learned that your average Guarsman NCO is too paranoid and cynical for the typical tricks to work

[@darrvenomfier790]

aye that is true laddie(/lass) it works on anyone above the NCO though.

[@darthrevan4933]

Darr Venom Fier well their officers what do you expect

[@orionlogan8114]

Never trust anyone above the rank of Sargent after all

[@Ezekiel_Allium]

I feel like after a certain point, you can be so average you're not average anymore. Sarge is average like a tesseract is a cube

[@berndmanitzky1476]

@@Ezekiel_Alliumunderrated!

[@ST-zm3lm]

Jim and Hanna have earned their toasters

[@gatordragon6140]

Nah they probably dont want toasters, they seem somewhat sane still after all, the toaster doers are the ones who are more like cawl

[@Cypherwraith001]

Aimy. Fricking Aimy. AIM-y. The sniper. I can't believe it took me so long to get that.

[@TheTaleForge]

Funnily enough, not the joke. She's yet another Discworld reference.

[@GundamReviver]

Nice and fortunate coincidence though, especially since she is usually reffered to by last name as far as I remember in the discworld books

[@sartdk9111]

Im never going to be able to unhear that from now on my god

[@PositiveVibesz]

RIP to the PDF who held the line and died so the Inquisitor team could destroy the Archtech. "be sure to save the last bullet for yourself", damn that hit hard. RIP PDF, and general aka guard wanna bes.

[@cypher4783]

I find it kinda of sad. Sarge literally just used and discarded the pdf just like everyone who would've done the same to him and his team.

[@ApocryphalDude]

@@cypher4783 all imperial soldiers are expendable, but not wastable. Those men did their jobs without lies

[@AndrewChumKaser]

"LOOK, IT'S NOT HERITEKS, OKAY?!? I MADE THEM UP TO KEEP THE TECH PRIESTS IN LINE!" *Heritek fleet immidiately shows up anyway* "Well. Congratulations on being psychic, sarge."

[@joefloggg3257]

Never give the DM ideas

[@CommissarMitch]

Heretek fleet: "Hello there"

[@jonathanhamilton6190]

@@CommissarMitch Ah General Sarge

[@timothymclean]

Not only has Sarge been promoted past the rank of sergeant, he's become a psyker! There goes any chance he ever had of his squad trusting him again...

[@AndrewChumKaser]

@@joefloggg3257 I have the feeling that it might've been just a legitimate fluke. The DM had already involved heriteks in the mission, so involving more didn't actually seem that farfetched. The eldar warlock on the hologram had even mentioned them, and so he just took a vaguely educated guess which he assumed was wrong but actually was completely correct. No need for it to be "oh that's not a bad idea" moment. The "demon-servi-knarla-titain" back on the occurrence border definitely had to have been a snap decision though. That's the kinda thing someone makes a joke about, only to put a thoughtful look followed by a sinister grin on the DM's face.

[@JCDenton2012Modder]

I imagine that the Eldar Warlock was literally "banging his head against the wall" with anger afterward. [slowly smiles]

[@singletona082]

Sometimes work is its own reward. Sure I'd rather see the xenos bastard's brains splattered against the wall, but him being left in an apoplectic rage suits me all the same.

[@barleysixseventwo6665]

Nah, this is better! Dead Xenos don’t get to mull over their humiliation at the hands of Humanity’s not-even-best-or-brightest.

[@ThePalatineHill]

"gotta say this for life in the inquisition, it maybe absolutely insane but it makes for some great stories..." i feel this is a totally intentional 4th wall break

[@LostArchivist]

So that is how Prof Oak gets new starters for trainers.

[@ellagrant6190]

This was beautiful. I am jealous of your rpg group. I especially like how there is a lot of drama and character conflict. Rather than a bunch of friends sitting around cooperating because it's a game, you have people in seemingly real danger making realistic and sometimes selfish or confrontational choices.

[@jacobfreeman5444]

Yeah, most do tend to play caricatures rather than characters. Lawful good? I must follow every law, regulation, and code I encounter regardless of paradoxes and conflicts of interest. Chaotic evil? Lul, murder tiiiiiiiime!

[@theenderdestruction2362]

​@@jacobfreeman5444 chaotic evil in teams case is more along the lines of "I CAN MURDER A THOUSANDS PEOPLE but I will help this poor person because why EVIL PLANS" it's pretty much chaotic stupid mixed with evil pretty much like Tolkien's world good can defeat evil but it would take forever but evil is self destructive and will in time eat itself

[@jacobfreeman5444]

@@theenderdestruction2362 where as it is good that gets eaten by evil in the real world.

[@MarkATorres1989]

I swear, as I rewatch these video clips... I honest by the Emperor, believe that Oak is trying to kill the Guardsman.

[@TimberwolfJ1]

If you remember episode 1 of "the greater good" the corpsmen that was showing the guardsmen around said something about the supply officer (nubby) that was sent to get the ship was resigned to one of oaks "suicide teams"

[@jokerledger5400]

that the beauty. Oak send them on basically suicide mission, if they succeed, it would be a great net gain, if they die, he would just send another team. I believe Oak is trying to find trust worthy and capable people to help him. Trust and abilities are hard to come by and very valuable in the Inquisition.

[@charteon9092]

@@jokerledger5400 ya sadly they kinda became his go to team. Because with all their flaws they are weirdly competent. So he knows that he can give them any mission no matter how insane and they will somehow complete it. I mean as shown in the first few missions most interrogators get baby missions to become inquisitors. Then you have Sarge who gets working with Space Marines and fighting against rogue inquisition agents. Not to mention he was put on the team with Bane Johns and survived.

[@KaiserAfini]

​@@charteon9092Plus fought a horde of necrons, two chaos space marines and a dark mechanicum magos back to back. Will the mission be completed how he expected it ? No, but the problem will be solved in a way that is a general net gain, they are scarely competent.

[@charteon9092]

@@KaiserAfini the fact that out of the group of guardsmen, all but one has survived since the first mission, and even then, two of their replacement members died taking out chaos space marines, and their final replacement member survived Bane Jons as well.

[@darthrevan4933]

Ok I think that even the emperor would complain about "not getting paid enough for this bull s*it" in regards to the new assignment

[@ZGuy0fSci]

Oh my gods and by the Emperor's Light, I hope some kind of official/unofficial/official book in hardback or audio is made of these sessions and readings....

[@szylaj]

this is audio is sufficient, isnt it?

[@Snowy123]

Really? Putting a squad of guardsmen against a dreadnaught???? The GM is trying REALLY hard to kill you. Also I find it incredibly dumb that the warlock suggested throwing the ship in an orc infested world(last episode), that’s an easy way to give a warlord a competitive advantage and get a super WAGHHHHH with necron tech unleashed on the universe. Also I got a huge suspicion that what the chaos techies and necron wanted wasn’t the modified necron ship but actually the box which sarge gave to oak, the chaos and necron never got to confirm that the box got off the ship and might be going for the ship to find it or clues of where it is. The reason I sad this was the first chaos techie agreed on giving up the ship for the box therefore showing clearly that the box has more value than a ship. Also oak really has this team on his suicide squad list with the next mission lol

[@RAFMnBgaming]

I suspect that the eldar was being sarcastic.

[@jackmack4181]

Ork: Wat doz dis booton do?

[@quasimofo6811]

I think the idea was probably that dropping the ship on an orc world would then lead the Necrons to ever-so-helpfully raze that planet clean of orcs in the process of retrieving their ship.

[@GundamReviver]

Ork warboss: GET THE MEK ROIT NOW OR I'LL KRUMP YA -5 MINUTES LATER- >orks using the damn thing as a shoot a, or possibly as a drinks maker... Or a hat

[@DemonMankeyMan]

Well this DM does appear, in Shoggy's own words, on the Hitler scale of body count for character deaths. Player characters

[@eilistraeepreistess]

That last line is full of nope.

[@commanderdanielcousland9981]

That plot twist was M. Night shyamalan in his prime level of Awesome.

[@johnl4464]

I still don't get how this series has so few views Love all your stories and story telling

[@IMarcaI]

These stories are just amazing, thanks for a great job

[@darlek_0017]

The liru pic

[@monkeydragonson9851]

Tape good for any occasion, Leaky pipe? Boom tap Need to adhere a nuke-ball to a spaceship? Yep it can do that too

[@theenderdestruction2362]

Duck tape to be exact XD the most holy of tape

[@G4LERNE]

KZbin acting up again, can't see this in my subbox. Thanks for the great content, as always!

[@johnnysizemore5797]

What suprised me the most 'bout this one was that Aimy never became a permanent PC(like Fumbles).....

[@samiraperi467]

"De-peopled" :D

[@Pastafari4]

Finally got to sit down with this one. Friggin great.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

Never give the GM ideas...

[@equarg]

Poor T’au scientist..........what will be his fate? I hope he can make it home....or at least find happiness.

[@jacobfreeman5444]

In the grim dark of the future...that will never happen.

[@ApocryphalDude]

Being embedded was actually beneficial to the greater good

[@theenderdestruction2362]

He can see the show that the guardsmen anime :D

[@mileslugo6430]

The house always wins

[@DeathAngel-ft8oz]

A "Backpack Nuke"? ...I think i'm gonna enjoy hearing what the hell this is.

[@TheAKgunner]

A nuke you can carry in a backpack.

[@RedNovaSun]

I laughed so hard at the end! this is the best!

[@SentientMeatloaf1]

I'm​ starting to lose track over who is PC and who is NPC

[@Hailix4240]

The line is growing thinner, it hardly matters. I like to imagine any of them could be dmpc’s or random friends of the players joining in from time to time with their characters being relevant and present when played, and in the background or out of the picture when not, see Jim and Hanna, as well as aimy.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

PCs: Sarge, Doc/Aimy, Nubby/Crisp (shoggy), Twitch, and Heavy/Crisp/Tink Although it's fair to say the others walk the line between NPCs and team pets.

[@Ezekiel_Allium]

@@RAFMnBgaming aren't there also missions where doc & aimy both get deployed when they go to catch the zoanthrope? In that circumstance (if it even happens?) Is she a dmpc or like is docs player controlling two people.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

@@Ezekiel_Allium I'm afraid I don't know. Possibly both. That's how I'd handle it as a GM.

[@Jesusfsmums]

John Sanders well nubby is also playing fumbles so maybe

[@sanguiniusse434]

Fuck... Threatening to blow up an eldar's gem is one of the few things I would consider a war crime in 40k. Like I get it. But fuck.

[@turtleofpride4572]

Come to Slaanesh little eldar

[@Lord_Numpty]

I _would_ upvote this comment, but... he's an Eldar and not an Exotide. He'd have deserved it.

[@thebighurt2495]

I shed no tears for the Space Elf

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

Zalgana, Malifie... Von Humperdink. A pity none this party have read much Terry Pratchett, that guardswoman ought to be called "Sally".

[@wraithblad33]

Nubby is basically Nobby Nobbs

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

You're right, I only realised later. Somehow, since calling him Nubby Nubbs should have been a giveaway. And the whole feel of the story is Pratchett-ey too. But it still feels like an incomplete reference, even if it's probably better not being too direct.

[@RAFMnBgaming]

@@Isaac-hm6ih Well, i think the idea is it's supposed to be more of a subtle nod than a direct reference. Like how the Occurrence Border is a synonym for Event Horizon.

[@GundamReviver]

To be fair aimy is also a nice refference to her being the sniper.. Aim-y.. While still sounding somewhat like Sally (Sall-y)

[@dogishappy0]

My God, that reveal. Amazing.

[@justacook6858]

13:28 you could say they were rattled

[@submarineinthesky8946]

I cheered when they saved the tau.

[@friendlyredneckneighbor4326]

This is my new jam.

[@markh8673]

Im really loving the The All Guardsmen lol. Just wish I could download them to listen offline, as Im not always around a wifi point to get it.

[@TheTaleForge]

If you go over to SoundCloud, everything is available to download.

[@markh8673]

@@TheTaleForge oh awesome! Thankyou. Dont have time to read but listen instead while at work. The narration is brilliant, great voice, expression and character. I'll check out soundcloud!

[@isengaja]

Oh god, good hunting! lol can't wait for the next chapter XD

[@thebighurt2495]

I mean, it's an Explorator Fleet. Their whole shtick is basically hunting down Archeotech. That sounds like the exact way they'd put "Good Luck."

[@brianrussell2441]

I imagine fumbles doing the buzzlightyear x every where meme with the tau.

[@civosborne]

(only listened partway) Is the bomb's name Helen 3.0?

[@Shatterverse]

civosborne you mean Hannah 3.0?

[@isengaja]

dayum, full 1 hour special!

[@lennoxshepherd3905]

I half wonder if the heretek fleet only got added because the GM thought it was a good idea after Sarge's character came up with it. Also possibly as revenge for the dungeon skipping

[@GarrettCaldwell-Young-gk3lj]

Shoot, man. So it was just a damn Necron ship that actually showed up earlier in the series! All that for a ship they’d already sold, what a wonder!

[@humiecrusher]

How the hell did they manage to enslave a Jokaero!?

[@humanitysucks4025]

It's just an instinctively technically adept orangutan-chimp-thing. It isn't clever enough to plot an escape, and it has an instinctive urge to turn whatever stuff is lying about into new shiny technology. As long as you feed it, and give it enough gubbins to play with, it probably won't care.

[@darrvenomfier790]

@@humanitysucks4025 they don't tend to my Dark Heresy group had one as a "pet" (read as: he made all of our gear and my power armor when everyone else but me had the damn stuff or the equivalent but me because my luck with finding the damn stuff sucks)

[@REDandBLUEandORANGE]

I’m sad I might not get back to the Tao empire YA JUST GOING TO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT ONE THERE BUD

[@karlwikman3874]

aren't spirit-stones supposed to be sturdy enough to handle handheld explosives?

[@zenthedying91]

as I vaguely recall yes, they usually are but in this case it's *Twitch's explosives* not the standard guard issue explosives for demolitionist soldiers. then again I can be wrong since I've vaguely recall the details of it.

[@theenderdestruction2362]

​@@zenthedying91 also it's a nuke that's not a normal handheld explosive

[@toxicmute6379]

@@theenderdestruction2362 that one was not the nuke

[@thebighurt2495]

Maybe, but that Warlock sure didn't seem too confident about it

[@DemonMankeyMan]

It's the same as knowing that your phone will be fine inside its case if you drop it and still having your heart in your mouth when you do I guess? Also, the blast would likely have done the knife head some significant damage even if the gemstone survived. A bomb on your chest is a bomb on your chest even if you are wearing armour

[@Manic_Rat9758]

So what tabletop game is this? I’m interested

[@Condorito380]

1d4chan.org/wiki/Dark_Heresy They have a second edition of the game, but from what I can tell from the (subtle, subtle) mentioning of rules, I think they play first edition. This was actually written by a dude on Reddit, and the person who does the writeups hasn't revealed their main character as far as I know...although there has been speculation. Cloak and Dagger here didn't write the story, but he does a great job with the presentation!

[@charlesmelenyzer8919]

​@@Condorito380 Actually, the author of the writeups stated he played Nubby Nubbs.

[@ItsDeadlock]

58:04

[@TheLolzKnight]

Gonna be honest, I was kinda personally insulted when they killed the Jokero. Poor techno-monkey did nothing wrong. You'd think the Eldar would have more sympathy for the old one's creations

[@ShadeStarMC]

My name is juris...

[@jackstrayfeald1007]

That last line...Fuck.

[@RolandTheJabberwocky]

26:35 Y I K E S

[@chadsims5090]

I love these stories but you know what bothers me? The We, Us, Our. And then no I, me, myself. As the speaker isn't actually one of the guard but speaks as if he is. Still, love the stories but this has been bothering me the whole time.

[@ChromaticCzer]

The Story is wrote like that, and the one who wrote it is, in fact, one of the party members, no one knows who

[@coryen3]

@@ChromaticCzer Apparently, from reading some of the comments on the archived version, the narrator most often plays Nubby. It also seems that their group sort of swaps around what characters they play, or play as the NPCs sometimes.

[@jacobfreeman5444]

I think it is because the story is written from a group perspective. No one individual is supposed to be the narrator. They all are. Thus the need for plural pronouns.

[@Ike_of_pyke]

Jesus fucking christ that God damn ship