The All Guardsmen Party: The Stealth Mission "Infiltration" [Fixed]

[@TheTaleForge]

I missed a couple of sentences the first time around. The original video is now unlisted, but still there.

[@Frescko]

Cloak and Dagger what parts are new? Could you give time stamps?

[@TheTaleForge]

23:11 I'd forgot to mention the appearance of the other Inquisition team.

[@charlieterry8506]

the new book and mic image looks awesome by the way. your awesome.

[@nyx7694]

Oi. Heard about you getting accidentally screwed by Neckbeardia. Once I get a real job, I'm gonna see if I can at least manage a fiver monthly. Good luck till September.

[@jmantiger5199]

I fuckin love coming around and bringing your channel on long drives

[@timothymclean]

Inquisitor Sisitat: "I am a genius, meticulously crafting intricate plans with every detail perfectly sorted." Also Inquisitor Sisitat: "Climb 241 flights of stairs in 20 minutes and be ready to fight right after that." Still Sisitat: "I can't believe these guardsmen are so incompetent. They can't even follow my orders! Thank the Emperor that I'm such a genius, or we'd be dead." Oak: "Sorry, but you were the only agents in the area who I knew could make do with his 'brilliant plans'."

[@timothymclean]

Also Oak: "...Wait, Nubby sold _what_ and talked to _who_ on your stakeout? Yeah, never mind, you guys deserve the names Sisitat called you." Still Oak: "I dunno, get a leash for him or something. If you can handle a zoanthrope daemonhost, you can handle a gretchin-ratling hybrid." (Oak later apologized to ratlings and gretchin alike.)

[@thepineappelope6018]

@@timothymclean stiiiiill Oak: you mean he MADE A WHOLE BUILDINGs ELECTRONICS EXPLODE *sigh* you damm idiots

[@FreedFenrir]

Screw all that. Come on, you just KNOW Oak reads the after action reports with as much of a shit eating grin as we would. :P

[@timothymclean]

@@FreedFenrir I'm not so sure. He, unlike us, has to deal with the consequences of the AGP's actions.

[@kre8or465]

I got suspicious when they described the other members weapon malfunctions, but the second they described the Krak missile shot hitting a pigeon, all I could think was "No, it can't be..."

[@joefloggg3257]

"That's impossible!" "Search your feelings, you'll know it be true." Wait wrong franchise.

[@munrowrouge18]

@@joefloggg3257 or: That's impossible! Improbable.

[@squidtron-ck9rq]

honestly, the James Bond-style mission objective should've been your first hint.

[@wabbitking]

I have a suspicion that the Inquisition team wanting to use their artifact as a bargaining chip in the poker game was his luck field affecting them. With Sciscitat possibly being out of range or passing a save. Considering he thought it was a stupid idea.

[@carmacksanderson3937]

The poker game had me suspicious, the sorceress mention clued me in to the return of Nubby's Girlfriend, and then I realized that this mission was basically the GM bringing back the Bad Interrogators All-Star Cast (Sisitat included, as he was also one of their sucky Interrogators). This leads me to believe that the AGP might end up getting rescued by the Rupert to complete the callbacks

[@haydenc7826]

I wonder if the terribleness of the plasma pistol is because it's a laminters weapon a historically unlucky space marine chapter known for tragedy always befalling them

[@LordEverlost]

Undoubtedly.

[@thebighurt2495]

It's probably cause of Tink fiddling with an Astartes gun. He's used to a Guard-issue version. Astartes and Guard do share some weapons (Heavy Bolter and Plasma Gun being two particular examples), but there is a key difference. The Guard versions are not only smaller (the Guard "Heavy Bolter" is basically a Boltgun), but modified for more reliability over firepower. Tink is not only trying to use a weapon in a way it's not supposed to be, it's a weapon intended to be serviced by a Techmarine not a Guard Operator.

[@jamesmooers8430]

It's probably a mix of everything. Tink is not trained in the modification of Astartes equipment and is prone to mad science & duct tape solutions, which have probably screwed up the mechanisms. The Machine Spirit is undoubtedly enraged by this man-handling, as Tink is not only making a mess of its internal workings but also not treating it with any respect beyond being a tool (big no no in the Imperium). And, of course, the Lamenters curse runs so deep that their equipment is at least affected on some level. Also Tink's player just has some god-awful rolls lol

[@basilefff]

I am absolutely amazed by GM's ability to bring past characters into the story. Also, I REALLY hope that dead Inquisitor wasn't Rupert(

[@darthrevan4933]

Василий Чай I doubt it

[@victorrunyan1274]

The Rupert is busy running a multi year war as of the adventure they first dealt with Johns.

[@REDandBLUEandORANGE]

He was my favourite suicideal bastard

[@danielpryce7126]

The dead inquisitor is probably the jerk who arrested them then got killed by the demon host zoanthrope.

[@tantalus44]

He sure acts like it, but Rupert isn't a psyker.

[@AndrewChumKaser]

Twitch finally goes full circle and wonders "Were we the REAL orks all along?"

[@pikachufantastic]

Twitch would have had a stroke

[@ryancronwell6368]

Anyone else think Sarge is a nacient phsycer and subconsciously uses all of his mind juice to make an aura of Sargentness

[@tactiti0n]

Warp Ability; Exemplary Sargent Personification. User shifts on every axis towards becoming an NCO of absolute competence and Sergeant-ness.

[@norsethenomad5978]

Nope, the Man-Emperor merely assigned him the rank of Sergeant at his conception, and everyone the galaxy over must respect the rank

[@AllenGray47]

1:05:30 And with Doc's "we are?" I now totally see these guys as the Sanford Police Service from Hot Fuzz.

[@HeckleJeckle87]

Return of friendly (or unfriendly faces). See, THIS is why players kill so many NPCS, you never know WHO might come back as next weeks villain!

[@shadowwarrior1003]

this is why when I play D&D I make sure to MURDER every NPC where my party cannot see nor find out I did it... and I'm the bloody ranger, you don't even want to know the antics our rogue gets up to

[@MagicalMaster]

@@shadowwarrior1003 Even playing a paladin and NPC's don't get much leeway. Everyone is a single betrayal away from being literal dead meat.

[@jacobfreeman5444]

Murder hoboing to that degree is why the reoccurring characters are sprang upon you instead of foreshadowed

[@peridoodle2644]

Rodents of unusual size! Also, carnivorous plants in a sewer? Someone call Inquisitor Mario! Also also, Who throws a reference? Honestly! Also also also! It's time to make like a tree, and get out of here! And now a certain someone has shown up, and all the action movie references suddenly make sense. Fucking foreshadowing

[@jordanhaddix3592]

He conveyed sass, relief, and joy when he said "almost certainly sewage free." 01:38:00

[@generalgarchomp333]

i love how the cogboy is going out of his way to fuck the mission. Just cause he doesn't like the guardsman.

[@timothymclean]

And Sisitat is, of course, 100% unaware of what's going on.

[@onepangaean3018]

That tech priest is an absolute cog sucker

[@gatordragon6140]

Well to be fair they did desecrate a cogboy shrine, not to mention they have committed so much tech heresy that they probably are the embodiment of twisted tech spirits, so him not wanting them to go through that part is pretty justified

[@generalgarchomp333]

@@gatordragon6140 that part sure, but that isn't even half his bs. And it still doesn't justify sabotaging his own mission .

[@harperholbrook7102]

"Couldn't follow an order if there life's depended on it." .....Pretty sure if there life's usually depend on them not follow order. LOL

[@davankrueger1725]

Gramer

[@davankrueger1725]

It is joke

[@tkgaming2385]

‘Far simpler, 27 stage plan” This hurts my brain... just, why?

[@cartermccall5228]

Instantly shouted "That's not simpler!!!"

[@silvonis1]

1:41:20 How that conversation went between Tink and Doc and the street vendor. Tink eyes the grey lumpy masses on the tray. "What's in them," he asks. The vender grins, knowing a sale when he sees one. "Sausages, made with genuine pork product, and very reasonably priced. But for a boys in blue, 50% off and that's cutting me own throat."

[@thebighurt2495]

Wouldn't that be "Boys In Green?" Then again, if they're pretending to be local PDF, they might actually *be* wearing Blue.

[@norsethenomad5978]

Since no one else said it, wonderful discworld reference. Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler is a hoot

[@doomeddm3319]

Damn, the DM must REALLY, want the all-guardsman party to be screwed over

[@CommissarMitch]

God damn unknown cosmic force.

[@Animefan1803]

Nah that´s just a damn good Dark Heresy DM. It´s actually hilarious how this story has the same terrible "BUT WAIT IT THERE`S MOOREE" tune that actual 40k books have.

[@Isaac-hm6ih]

I just resumed listening at 6:22. "A man, a donkey and a squid", I thought I was listening to the start of a bad joke about a group walking into a bar.

[@norsethenomad5978]

A man, a donkey, and a squid bump into a paranoid demolitions expert. The chunks were found for miles

[@krystlvines]

Scisitat must have been outside of Bane's range. Because that poker tournament had "Bane's reality altering bond aura" all over it.

[@Sabactus]

Keep up the strong work. I really enjoy listening to your narrations on my commute. Makes chilling out after getting punched, cussed and spit on by patients a bit easier.

[@nuggies48]

What do you do for work, sounds harsh.

[@connorharrison7160]

@@nuggies48 Probably an old person's home

[@tactiti0n]

@@connorharrison7160 Paramedic maybe

[@CommissarMitch]

Thank you for your service.

[@negspirito]

I knew it was Bane.

[@tsusmildrides4937]

Tink got a tsundere girlfriend

[@Pastafari4]

When will this be adapted into a 40k TV-series tbh?

[@athibi9461]

As soon as GW starts making smart decisions with their lore.

[@yuvalgabay1023]

That will be great

[@timothymclean]

Putting aside the questionable lore-authenticity, the licensing agreement would be a bitch. Games Workshop and each of the (anonymous) participants in the game would need to come together with whoever was whoever was making the series, anyone else to whom GW sold licenses connected to anything the All-Guardsmen Party encountered, and Emperor knows who else to sort out royalties, creative control, marketing, and all the other details that go into any creative project requiring more than two or three skillsets.

[@kitchenjail3546]

I want The All Guardsman Party FPS game

[@GundamReviver]

@@athibi9461 a. K. A never. Just like GW will never pick smart companies to make games for them. (gods its so shit there isn't a space marine 2)

[@allthenewsordeath5772]

Why is this not a TV show yet? Live-action probably as an anime would be a little too ironic.

[@gabriel300010]

do you mean heretical tau vids?

[@Snowy123]

Allthenews ordeath when I listen to it I just imagine it as a show

[@tobymoore2185]

I’d watch that

[@CommissarMitch]

Oooorrr Anime with the Tau Cartoon being live action.

[@bradydonovan6180]

100% gonna refer to ALL anime from today on as “heretical tau vids”

[@kitsunekodomo]

The appearance of judge dread as a traffic cop.lol

[@jordanmanley9172]

I love your work Cloak, and I can't wait to get more AGP content from you. It's a shame that you get barely the exposure you deserve, yet Neckbeardia can just shit out a horrid text to speech rendition of AGP and get thousands of likes.

[@Molsam88]

People man, they be dumb.

[@Caseyuptobat]

No Mr. Johns, I expect you to fly.

[@nerowulfee9210]

1:57:50 What stats does Twitch had? I bet his insanity score was giant at this point.

[@chameon378]

Perception had to be 60. A lot of fans hold the theory he is a psyker, in which case I would presume he has been fettered buffing his team this whole time. Presumably good int, I would guess trashy toughness, decent agility, decent strength, like, zero weapon skill, a fellowship of like, 1, decent ballistic skill but nothing fantastic...

[@krystlvines]

He gets to roll for paranoia. 8f he rolls high the dm let's him get forewarning of events

[@mightyhaegr9362]

​@@krystlvinesso all the times twitch ends up having a paranoid breakdown?....was that him crit failing the paranoia roll and just descending into a ork kommando raid fuel nightmares?

[@estavel117]

I swear the traffic cop is Judge Dredd

[@damnedlegionaire]

He might as well be.

[@kitsunekodomo]

The Judge Dredd universe has being grandfathered into the 40k universe.

[@plink4861]

My little squeal about a new vid.... Then my swift slide into depression Still going to watch it however

[@bwifpunish]

Hah! I love the new illustration man, Zilong did a good job. Your channel is basically my audiobook app, and its great to see you want to improve.

[@todo9633]

The second the poker tournament was mentioned I knew how it would end.

[@friendlyredneckneighbor4326]

I spent the last three days binge watching from the start all the way to here… And I don’t regret not one single second of it. 🤟

[@colonialmustard8156]

hey man thanks for doing this series really been enjoying listening to it while doing work/ sleeping off covid booster

[@connorjames1066]

Thank you so much for reading these, I have loved every second of them

[@Snowy123]

I really like that traffic officer

[@calebblaha7854]

Fast charges, gav jumps, intense demoltion, wave clearing. These guys are built different.

[@RedwoodTheElf]

Sausage in a bun from a street vendor? That vendor's name wasn't "Cut me own throat Dibbler" was it?

[@dok3304]

Probably closer to ‘Burn-Me-At-The-Stake’ Dibulous, considering the Multiple Dibbler theory.

[@camramaster]

@@dok3304 Checks out.

[@phyrofox1641]

Part of me is wondering if they do manage to kill the ticket officer, will he return to help them in a later misadventure?

[@TeamOneDay]

Didn't see the upload (working as intended). Love the new background, really stands out!

[@StellarTempest]

This should end with something cathartic, but somehow, I feel like it won't.

[@angelangelis8362]

Stellar Tempest So far, you would be right.

[@kre8or465]

You had to check with him that the team that screwed up that inquisitors mission wasn't your team. Honestly not surprised.

[@Sentientcap]

I'm pretty sure theres a point where you go from being just Guardsmen used to the suicide charges and become badasses that don't even know their awsome.

[@thebighurt2495]

Any Guardsman that manages to make it to Veterancy is, by Natural Selection, a bit of a badass

[@tantalus44]

As if we had all been replaced by raw PDF recruits. Fuckin' uh oh.

[@GundamReviver]

"genuin meat product, sausage in a bun" hello there cmot dibbler in 40k. :')

[@MrCompassionate01]

I can't thank you enough for spoiling us with such a long and well made video, I had a very long train journey and this kept me entertained.

[@ryanbolitho8716]

I have been Waiting for this for so long

[@mr.quarantine5977]

Love the new picture did you make it, was it a gift piece or a commission?

[@TheTaleForge]

It was originally posted in my Discord server as fanart, and I asked permission to use it.

[@mr.quarantine5977]

Cloak and Dagger well it looks lovely mind telling the creator it looks great if it's not to much trouble

[@stevendaguy8264]

[@FalloutJack]

I knew this was going to happen, somehow. I KNEW, with Twitch-like certainty, that there was going to be a situation where the gorgeous-but-insane psyker was going to be in the SAME BLOODY ROOM as our James Bond wannabe! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!

[@NixonsAppendix]

Opinion of "chunky salsa" through the series: 1-3: Ha, funny 3-10: Alright, getting repetitive 10-infinity: YES! PRAISE THE EMPEROR!

[@CommissarMitch]

Yeah pretty much. It is also rare enough to take me by suprice every time.

[@rosettaelemental7275]

Honestly, if you ask me, the only truly repetitive phrase used in the series is "retard" and its variations. Even if you ignore the fact that it is an actual slur sometimes its use gets just plain excessive.

[@equarg]

2 ex inquisitors...........including FREAKING BANE. WT🤬.

[@griffincrump5077]

That poker game was practically made for Bane Johns

[@kitsunekodomo]

And both inquisition teams almost beating their artifacts was bane's powers at work, think about it. His powers makes everything work out for him, how lucky would it be for TWO of the things HIS girlfriend was looking for?

[@paradoesntcare7275]

I would really love to see these characters in their own long form book series instead of all these space marine super-weapon character stories. I just want books with characters of guardsmen like this doing what they can to survive in the trenches, not get shot by a commissar, and using the best weapon that humanity can offer to survive the horrors of M41... humor and personality

[@nyx7694]

Probably already seen it by now, but have you heard of Guant's Ghosts?

[@tactiti0n]

GW is stuck with idiots for writers and an absolute fixation on Spees Mahrines rather than telling good stories.

[@Okkebeltman]

Nubby and Sarge are quite heavily influenced by characters in Terry Pratchet's 'The discworld' series. I can highly advice each and every book in the series, but for this, look for the ones about the City Watch. Start with Guards! Guards!

[@the_hope_of_balarat1109]

​@@Okkebeltman Heavily influenced to the point that Nubby Nubbs is an awesome expy of Pratchett's Nobby Nobbs, and is just *chef's kiss* perfect.

[@giacomomeluzzi280]

I knew it was her, I knew it! Love their GM

[@crystalalarm3]

Praise the Man-Emperor of Mankind an update, Is it Sanguinella already?

[@atlasomega420]

Irritablemarine I thought angry marines couldn’t feel joy

[@heartysquid]

Smug/righteous/gleefull anger is a thing soooo...

[@MarkATorres1989]

One thing to say... DAMMIT NUBBY!!!!! #DammitNubby

[@Rekishi12]

Sausage in a bun... What were they thinking?

[@that1guy271]

you said sausage in a bun, did you mean an open-faced sausage sandwich?

[@timothymclean]

Dear Nubby, This whole mission, Sisitat has been talking about what incompetent, mission-ruining morons your entire squad is. Why did you feel the need to prove him right? Sincerely, EVERYONE

[@Nyghtking]

I was wondering what you were talking about, and then I got to the part and now I completely understand.

[@the_hope_of_balarat1109]

Ok, this absolutely confirms it: "sausage in a bun, genuine pig products"? The DM also knows Terry Pratchett's Discworld Guards novels well, and is leaning on them to find new and creative ways to torment his players. 😁👍

[@darthrevan4933]

What is the obsession with chunky salsa?

[@timothymclean]

It's a long-standing trope in nerd culture to compare sufficiently messy human remains to chunky salsa, presumably due to both being red and chunky. Heck if I know where it originated from, but it dates back at least to the dawn of the TRPG.

[@ineednochannelyoutube5384]

+Timothy McLean It comes from I believe 1st ed dnd wherein a footnote mentiones that any attack that should realistically be able to reduce the target's head to the consistency of chunky salsa is to be considered fatal regardless of actual numbers.

[@e.dnautilis1618]

Along with the mentioned, and this is definitely not the intention, but it's a good way to avoid saying "gore", which is probably one of youtubes's no-no words

[@KaiserAfini]

1:42:30 "Huh, the person arriving at the poker game in the flying limo and with the twins is very much what you would expect in a spy movie. Wait a sec, this is a Casino Royale parody, which means. Oh no, Bane is here."

[@pacefactor]

Jesus christ I Hope this thing doesn't die!

[@HoundofOdin]

This should be the 40K TV series instead of Eisenhorn.

[@Sara3346]

I'm glad the pink haired goon lady had so much personality inserted in so little time.

[@justacook6858]

1:57:53 achievement unlocked sons of sly marbo

[@kitchenjail3546]

Fuuuug, they were doing so well, and now they're back doing shitty jobs with shitty interrogators. Well they were always doing the former, but they ditched the latter previously.

[@Sara3346]

....yes I think maybe they were the real ork's all along.

[@marfymarf4072]

That better not be the luck draining interrogater

[@camramaster]

I was wondering when Bane was going to show up again.

[@joeholtz5395]

Love these stories

[@krystlvines]

1:41:17 is that a cut me own throat Dibbler reference?

[@Skorak]

I swear to god if the Rupert shows up we'll officially have all of the teams significant interrogators in one place, that can only end well XD

[@griffen121]

Damm that rage in their voice

[@Fredministrator]

I thought I remember you reading a tale about some sort of Wizard in a dark setting paring up with magical girls, becoming their driver and fighting demons while being irritated by the bunch, but I can't find it anymore. Did I remember that wrong or could you help me find your video again?

[@TheTaleForge]

Liars Everywhere.

[@Fredministrator]

thank you very much now I can finally show it to some ppl

[@yasminafarih3681]

1:57:00 Good question XD

[@MrMason-sc1yc]

Sausage in a Bun, sold by CMOT Dibbler.

[@LadyRavenEyes]

i need more guardsmen stories

[@ChiaroscuroxX]

So do you do one take for this or a bunch of short ones cut together?

[@TheTaleForge]

I do long recording sessions, but cut every time I make a mistake. It would probably be better to do it all in one and fix errors after, but that takes a lot more time and isn't something I could necessarily manage.

[@timothymclean]

@@TheTaleForge I don't really see the advantage. The biggest difference I see is that you wouldn't get as many convenient points for water breaks and the like.

[@ChiaroscuroxX]

AH...AHAHA.... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *Ehem* nice

[@fatcoyote2]

BULLLLLSSSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTT!

[@ZGuy0fSci]

*More use of "bloody of fecking course" not used since the days of WoT.....* (really, a pigeon?)

[@thomass2505]

Not this guy again. Please no not him.

[@FourElemental]

You doing alright mate? It's been a while and you haven't even streamed anything?

[@ragingnovice2712]

so the super arbitas was Judge Dredd right?

[@craigkuhlman6869]

Anyone else notice Judge Dredd?

[@RolandTheJabberwocky]

1:31:45 thats... disconcerting

[@Bysentenial]

#BaneJohnsDidNothingWrong

[@SparkB0x]

Thanks

[@StarboyXL9]

me after 2:22:36-38 GODDAMMIT!

[@thewatcher8878]

I fucking knew it as soon as he fell gg luck thief

[@esper6119]

I KNEW IT lmao

[@redman457]

wait who was ban jonas? at the end there.... i forget the name... oh was it there boss because if so lolz!!

[@SunchaserKandri]

He's the Interrogator that the team worked for in "Interplanetary Man of Mystery."

[@knightoflife]

Past Interrogator Psyker who used his powers to steal luck from the people around him and give it to himself i.e. the reason for the catastrophic weapons failures

[@Lorian667]

The name is Jones Band. And he also behaves, yes: like James Bond. Should be obvious ;)

[@Chris-jw8vm]

BAAAANE!

[@rendedspace5606]

Big Roka, iz we da rel orkz?

[@treasonous8777]

MArking my place 1:09:19

[@kingmonster]

Sooooooooo...mission failure...just great...

[@qweweqweqs4305]

22:47

[@stephenb3104]

Fuckin spy, he's back!?

[@ItsDeadlock]

2:10:51

[@vitanidesin]

The fuck is that officer made of and what is he running on

[@ineednochannelyoutube5384]

He is made of the solidified essence of The Law, and runs on pure distilled hatred.

[@highjumpstudios2384]

G-fuel and spite respectively

[@CodexisInkwind]

This is my 6th time listening through, and it's impressive that I still hate Sisitat this much 😅

[@lordcommissarspartan]

Pffffucking... *BANE* This is getting to be quite the kerfuffle.

[@gloryfire2161]

I news the bad luck guy I knew it reeee

[@ZGuy0fSci]

New background after this point to match the thumbnail? m'kay.

[@rodrikforrester6989]

Previously, all his thumbnails matched the previous background. However, KZbin decided to screw him over for "repetitive content" because all his thumbnails were the same, so he replaced every single one with the new version, just to be safe. That included the videos with the old background.