The Badfather / Abusive Co-parent

[@melmorris9110]

I can see the trauma you went through and I’m just so grateful to you for creating these videos. So brave. Thank you.

[@lucylu2927]

The family courts do not recognise this form of abuse though and will penalise you for understanding DV and living with the dominator. When you try to show that this equal parenting and nurturing relationship is not there you will be labelled as the problem. Sadly this is just reality of the broken family court system

[@Brit267]

So spot on and heartbreaking. Reading your comment made me well up. I feel so broken.

[@lucylu2927]

@@Brit267 stay strong. Court system sucks but your resilient and will get through it no matter the outcome.

[@aaishaaa76]

Unfortunately the courts know exactly what there doing there abusers too. Abusers protect abusers. I learnt this the hard way

[@TreesRgreen123]

You cant co parent with an abuser. It's impossible. The sooner family courts recognise this, the better

[@eponymoususer8923]

The root of the problems family courts have with high-conflict child custody is that they have zero guidelines or understanding of psychological and emotional abuse. These types of abuse are perpetrated on both the other parent directly and on the child directly and indirectly (through witnessing the abuse of the “good parent”.) Family court judges should be required to have training in developmental and abnormal psychology. They need to be able to hold abusive parents accountable and to recognize signs that the reactive parent may not be the abusive one. Psychological abuse provokes mental and behavioral instability. Courts right now are only capable of assessing the Law as it’s written and of taking into account the function of the situation. Hopefully one day, the courts will be able to recognize abusers, hold them accountable, and limit their access to their victims- both the other parent and the child.

[@JavaGeek7654]

I think it goes deeper than that. The courts encourage the abuse: by not holding people in contempt until the 3rd time; by telling the abused parents to be more "flexible" (in order to reduce conflict). Costs are shared: financial abuse even if you hold them accountable.

[@kyleek.cosmos3371]

I’m currently in court with an abusive ex. I always say that he hates me more than he loves her, and I truly believe that. Thank you so much for sharing 🙏

[@mayanova8152]

How can we counteract the abuse? What can the non-abusive parent do to help their child?

[@LadyBoBannon]

Be the healthy parent and therapy. If you can't do therapy I'd encourage the children to confide in trusted adults that are third parties. It seems if the concerns come from you, the parent who is healthier, they aren't taken as seriously.

[@melmorris9110]

You mention that someone raised that the abusive parent struggles to see when their child is unwell, my ex has interim live with/cao on the basis of possible MSBP (mentioned by his GP to SW after he repeatedly raised concerns about me to the GP); he spent six years telling the GP I was making up our child’s symptoms, that I’m the only one that sees them (mild restless legs three or four times a month), that I have severe mental health issues, and that I make up my own consultant diagnosed physical disabilities, and that I’m putting these onto our child, even though I have extensive videos and recordings of her complaining about her symptoms over several years, with a recording coinciding with every GP visit, that he’s raised as me abusing our child and the reason why he believes I must be ISW supervised at all times when contact happens. Unfortunately our FoF hearing has been adjourned from March to mid October, which will take our case to in excess of 100 weeks before any determination can feasibly be made, all the while he has interim custody and I can’t get my evidence reviewed to show I’m not the abusive neglectful parent, this system is so damaging to children who already suffer so much from the abuse they face with parents like this 😥

[@emmawheeler8559]

Some hard truths here, thanks for sharing your insight x

[@alicehopechild829]

That was very helpful. Thank you so much!

[@edanaoharamcaleenan8384]

The courts dont care or listen they believe the abusier 😢

[@kofirandayn945]

The term "why would anyone make up domestic abuse claims" shows an unbelievable degree of naivety.

[@lostincredulity5369]

From a family solicitor as well. It beggars belief when it results in legal aid and problems for the non resident parent. I suppose when all your work comes from legal aid you would want to stick your head in the sand.

[@LadyBoBannon]

Victims of abuse get a lot of pushback. It's actually pretty hard to get protection of the children from the court because family court doesn't fully understand dv or has been numbed to the proceedings from my observations.

[@lucylu2927]

Typical perp response. Getting legal aid is extremely difficult and requires evidence. Sadly thr courts are nore likely to believe that the victim is lying than to look at the reality of the abuse and safeguard children

[@kofirandayn945]

OK maybe your allegations were not good enough. My child's mother made rape and pedophile allegations. Her allegations were found to be false but she got legal aid anyway.

[@skyali6895]

What if the court is dismissing the section7 report from Cafcass, Can they do that? I am not even dealing with a human at this point I am dealing with a monster when it comes to my case!!

[@vstavrak]

Thank you so much for making the videos. How can I reach you re hiring you for legal advice if possible ? Thank you !

[@georginacooper9162]

Struggling so badly and pushed from pilar to post by police and social. Turned completely against me. Broken, questioning my on being and worth and trying to understand the unnecessary hurt towards target parent over own child’s well-being and feelings

[@Soundcloud765]

How can I get in touch with you please ?

[@eponymoususer8923]

I really wish creators would stop pointing out fathers as being the abusive coparent. Mothers are at the very least equal in the bad coparenting department. They alienate and withhold the children. They use doctors and education to exert control over the Father’s ability to exercise legal rights. They accuse fathers of abuse, neglect, and molestation. They absolutely feel entitled to full rights over the child and resent both the father’s rejection of the relationship and the father’s acceptance and love for the child. The courts favor the mother in the US, at least. Not in the word of the law, but definitely in practice.

[@LK--bq3ok]

Exactly I am being made to do this corse because I shout and kick off after getting pushed to braking point by my ex she’s been controlling and manipulating me my hole time with her but the second I get pushed to the point of braking I get looked at like the abuser it’s not right at all this system is sick in the head

[@gracelewis6071]

While Mothers can and do abuse, you are repeating major falsehoods. Domestic violence IS a gendered issue, and it is by far the norm to have the male and therefore father be the abusive parent. I forget the statistics exactly but it is overwhelmingly men who are the abusers in situations like this. The courts do NOT favor Mothers and HAVE NOT since the 50s! The fifties. And have statistically favored Fathers since the 70s. They also favor abusive men in 70% of cases. Does this mean abuse from women doesn't matter? Of course not. But instead of adding your voice to the fight, the overwhelmingly female fight for our children, you are here detracting from the fight for the health and wellbeing of our children with your "what about meeeeee women bad". I have no respect for that. It speaks volumes about your charachter. If you are going to quote statistics be accurate. And consider putting children first.

[@MAXIMILLION2022]

They steal the kids

[@MsKariLola]

People do make up allegations but it’s also frustrating when they are true and you’re not believed because it’s behind closed doors.

[@andreabailey896]

Good evening We're are based please, I need your help

[@bootcampfordivaliciousking1102]

❤️

[@davidonorwood1976]

The title bad father is a so dumb and shows illegally sexism the title should be enough to have you arrested, your guilty of child endangerment