The Bates Family's Disturbing Double Standard When It Comes to Courting

#BringingUpBates
The Bates Family have several adult children courting. The rules the family has set for their boys vs their girls reveals and ugly & disturbing side of the world they live in. Let's dissect how Kelly & Gil treat their daughter Katie vs Lawson & Nathan when it comes to courting.
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[@lmccauley7319]

At least the Bates girls have jobs, some of them, none of the Duggar girls have ever gone to school after their high school or gotten a job. Whitney got her real estate license. Josie I think does hair. A couple of the girls have a boutique selling clothes. Michaela is now a nurse. The Duggar girls not a one of them have done anything outside of being a mother and housewife so I will say I think Kelly and Gil have been better parents than Meechelle and Jimboob.

[@AmandaPaige71]

Both Kelly and Gil are also college grads so they put more emphasis on education with all their children more than the Duggars do too.

[@stephanieann8115]

They also seem more real and loving. Like they have children because they actually love them rather than trying to achieve a certain number of them.

[@larissatom6910]

I remember Josh having a chaperone when he was courting Anna... Now Josh needs a chaperone 24/7 😂😂😂

[@melissah1889]

That is what I thought but couldn't remember it was so long ago in Duggar terms. 😂 😂 😂

[@melissah1889]

Josh needs a chaperone now.

[@vernamorales2064]

@@melissah1889 Hilarious

[@gayeyount7948]

Josh needs to be locked up

[@tiffprendergast]

He needs to be in jail

[@jenng2454]

I remember in one of the episodes Kelly and Gil said that they don’t MAKE any of their children wait for anything. They give them advise and talk to them about what they would like them to do, but they have their own free will to do as they please. Their oldest son and Whitney decided that they didn’t want to wait until their wedding day for their first kiss and that was their decision and Kelly and Gil respected their decision. This is where I see a HUGE difference between the Duggar’s and the Bates! I could not see the Gil ever treating any of his children the way JB has treated Jill!

[@kristagates825]

This! And Gil definitely doesn’t act gross with his wife on tv. The one episode of 19 kids and counting when they went mini golfing with Ben and Jessa was so gross.

[@targaghjj]

The Duggars claimed the same thing though-- that it was their kids' choices.

[@jenng2454]

I just don’t know what to believe from any of them anymore

[@shawnperkins8789]

Alyssa didn't wait until her wedding day for the first kiss either.

[@suzanneanderson4750]

@@shawnperkins8789 Josie and Kelton did not wait either.

[@yvonnemcmahan9037]

I love the Bates much more than the Duggars

[@LS-ux3th]

I remember in one of the episodes Kelly said that they don’t send chaperones with their boys (when they travel) because the girlfriend usually gets someone from her side to chaperone

[@Catglittercrafts]

But they showed them without chaperones

[@twwdc]

We say that, but someone is taking at least some of those photos that were not selfies?

[@LS-ux3th]

@@twwdc exactly

[@elizaolsen9532]

@@Catglittercrafts you don't know for sure they don't have a chaperone . They are not always in the photo but how do you know the chaperone is not still in eyesight of the couple. In my family the chaperone was someone in the girls family not always . Depends on where we started the date !

[@Ribcrickett]

@@elizaolsen9532 that was actually mentioned in one episode of maybe Counting On. They said chaperones would be nearby giving the couples space for some form of privacy yet close enough to see them. I wouldn’t want my chaperone in all my pictures and/or videos of my dates. Back when Jill and Jessa were dating they explained how the couples decided what they would do in their relationship then they discussed it with their parents who then held the couples accountable. There was also an episode on Counting On or 19 Kids when Joe & Kendra were courting, Kendra’s family provided the chaperones and they explained that it’s the girl’s family that ultimately decides on whether they are chaperoned or not.

[@zombieloveproductions]

John-David and Abbie didn’t always have chaperones because they felt that because they were older, they were able to stand true to the beliefs they set and trusted that they would be ok..

[@debbiesmithmcconnell9889]

I set my own dating rules . I was a virgin when I got married. Very exciting to wait.

[@carissacarter3377]

And some people want to try before the buy. Compatibility is important what if he doesn't make you c*m

[@mienafriggstad3360]

My husband and I completely agree with you; us too.

[@JessicaJasinski]

I need to test drive the machinery first. Returns aren't that easy

[@nataliedeyton6829]

@@carissacarter3377 you learn together

[@silmuffin86]

good for you if that's what you wanted, not so good if that's what you were required to do because of chaperones and all that cr@p! also, virginity and not kissing are not the same

[@robinhood3951]

John-David & Abbie didn't have chaperones either. John flew to Oklahoma and dated the girl he liked. I'm sure they spent a lot of time with her family, but she went flying with him, and nobody knew he was dating her. He brought Abby home to Arkansa and introduced her ... Here's my girlfriend.

[@CoffeeLover-mz7bk]

It's the girl's family's responsibility to provide a chaperone or not provide a chaperone.

[@purpl4]

I remember them talking about each couple set there own accountability rules :)

[@shannonbrice8012]

While my children don't need a chaperone I do feel better if they take a friend or a sibling with them on a "first" date. This is not about trusting my children, it is about safety. Young people date by apps and one never knows who is on the other side of that. Sometimes when the person finds out my daughter is bringing a friend they cancel and to me that is a RED FLAG. If only going for coffee it shouldn't really matter.

[@ellenwaller2410]

does the friend go with them on the second date

[@shannonbrice8012]

@@ellenwaller2410 no but they go to a public place and must take thier own vehicle

[@maryanndasilva6415]

Then why not allow them to do this on the first date? I can see cancelling if my date was insisting on a chaperone. I’d worry that this would continue throughout the whole “courtship” Just weird. Who wants to try and get to know someone with a chaperone listening in?

[@shannonbrice8012]

@@maryanndasilva6415 I think you may have the wrong impression. When my girls would go on a "first date" someone would go with them sit at a different table (usually with one of their friends). There have been many cases where we live of people going to meet someone in a public place in their own car and they were followed home. It was in the news a person in their own car was SA by the person they were there to meet. Also had a friend's daughter go to meet someone to find out they were 40 years older than they said they were online.

[@gmc7503]

I just figured out Tiffy is an actress and best friends with Bindi Irwin 😱

[@Kayla-Moon]

Teach 👏🏻 your 👏🏻 boys 👏🏻 to 👏🏻 respect👏🏻 women👏🏻 ... and not treat your girls to be submissive!! That's how we change this world. You're the best Katie!

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

Yes!

[@tlh7717]

She looks exactly like Josie!!! Beautiful girls, both of them. All the girls are beautiful.

[@missshaq6086]

We never had chaperones. But my brother that was 3 years younger than me definitely got to do waaay more than I did!!

[@Kirsten-fg8km]

I think it also has to do with parents being more lenient with their younger children. I know my older siblings had strict rules, while with me-- my parents were like, "Do whatever you want. We know you will anyway."

[@juliancain3872]

@@Kirsten-fg8km I was my dad's youngest, and my mom's only, my three older half siblings 1 boy 2 girls were 11-14 years older than me, by the time I started dating they had given up on big restrictions.

[@stephanieann8115]

In High School most of the boys didn’t have a curfew but ALL the girls did. It doesn’t make sense to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@juliancain3872]

@@stephanieann8115 The reason makes perfect sense, it's just unplesent and very unfair.

[@stephanieann8115]

@@juliancain3872 I’m not being argumentative at all I swear. Could you please explain this to me? I have never understood the double standard.

[@deborahburd2253]

I totally think there is a lot more transparency in the Bates family compared to the Duggar’s. They may share some beliefs, but they seem more realistic with their approach and application of their “faith”. There are double standards in most households when it comes to your boys x girls. That’s where you can run into problems with your boys; when there are no boundaries in the homes with the girls they date. Gotta watch that! Just because there are no evident chaperones in the pics with the Bates boys does not mean they’re not there...

[@shionajoseph3248]

When Trace was courting Chaney they always had a chaperone. Same when Nathan was courting that girl from NY. I think it’s because they’re older & they’re not dating girls who are fundie. Also Kelly & Michelle said it’s up to the girls family to provide a chaperone🤷🏾‍♀️.

[@debbiesmithmcconnell9889]

My mother Believed my brother could Hitchhike to Florida at 16. But I had To be in the house on weekdays at 11:30. Not religious reason she just Actually thought my brother was safe? I think it should be the same for male/ female when it’s teenagers. But Lawson is a grown man at 28. I don’t think he needs a chaperone. At that age and don’t think a chaperone is needed at over 18

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

Katie is 20 - so why does she need a chaperone? She doesn't

[@kessiawright1710]

Chaperoning can make people sneak around. What does it say about trust and doing the right thing, if you do not get choose the right thing. Part of maturing is learning to make good choices and learning from your mistakes. They treat their daughters like they are perpetual children.

[@celiamartinez3]

Yeah I had a friend do that w her 14 year old daughter and she ended up pregnant. Ok!!

[@cherikrolewski559]

It is a double standard, I don’t care that the boys are 27 and 28. Katie is engaged they are not.

[@MsLibby76]

Right?!

[@susanmoran692]

Wether they are boys or girls they should hold up to the same standards. Equal rights for both genders! I agree a kiss or holding hands and hugging is not going to make or break it. Have respect for one another and all children boys or girls. Communicate with your children have an understanding with them and a curfew. If you want to do chaperones do it but do it for both genders

[@JuliaEK71519]

I grew up in a cult from age 1-14. I still deal with psychological issues from it and it’s been 10 years since I left.

[@tobykin822]

Keep going!!! It gets better. I left one as well, still working through some things, but each day gets a little easier!!

[@rocketmom60]

The thought of grown adults needing a chaperone is ridiculous. The thought of two people who are engaged needing a chaperone is very disturbing.

[@JessicaJasinski]

Right, so strange

[@marwalh6218]

and what a message of mistrust it sends to your kids. I understand not wanting to be alone in a bedroom, but just go on dates in public and follow your own rules if you set them. It's just so odd. Plenty of couples remain abstinent without ever having chaperones.

[@MsLibby76]

I agree! The parents don't have any faith in how they've raised their own children and clearly don't trust them to make decisions.

[@mienafriggstad3360]

My husband and I believe in staying Vs until married; we did. A kiss and holding hands ect before marriage is fine with us. We have the same standards for our daughter as for our son. We believe it is extremely important for girls/ woman and boys/ men to have respect for and control of their own bodies; to know it is ok to say no.

[@hikenh436]

but it’s also okay for them to make their own decisions in terms of what they want to do. if they want to lose their virginity there’s a way.

[@Catglittercrafts]

Which is great for you, but if your kids decide otherwise are you gonna make them feel like crap about it?

[@juliancain3872]

A good saying but, what if they weren't so keen on staying chaste until their wedding? So long as they're over 18.

[@silmuffin86]

why do you have standards for your (older teen-adult) kids?? no one should tell someone else what to do with their bodies, as long as they are responsible and use condoms. it's their choice not yours

[@tornadospotter9473]

I am not sure why this is a problem, Lawson and Nathan are adults living away from there parents home. So they can make decisions of there own.

[@crossplainschic]

I wonder if it's because Lawson and Nathan have moved out... doesn't mean it's not a double standard, but 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@Megz1794]

Or maybe they still have chaperones and they just don’t get shown on the show since the show can only add in so much in a certain amount of time

[@eliciaeldridge3452]

Yes but the girls do not have the option to move out until they are married.

[@Megz1794]

@@eliciaeldridge3452 that’s half reasonable though for some of the kids half the kids still need their parents. Plus the older girls can learn extra life skills/living like similar to cooking,cleaning,laundry....etc...

[@Megz1794]

@@eliciaeldridge3452 also the kids probably have to prove they can live on their own without asking for money from their parents 24/7 as adults

[@Megz1794]

@@eliciaeldridge3452 also girls do get treated like crap out in the real world which is a lot worse than living with your parents until you’re married.

[@Mamaonamisson]

Maybe they feel like it’s up to the daughter’s Family to oversee that part? So they expect their boys to follow whatever the girls parents set??

[@Stephanievp1]

They discussed this in an episode, the kids set their own standards for dating and the parents go along with THEIR KIDS decision. Please do your research better like you stalk the Duggars🤡 Travis’ family has a rule that they don’t even hold hands while engaged sooo. No double standard. Just giving more freedom to their kids.

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

Lol. The girls do not. They split up Jason & Josie for getting too physical

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

They do not let their girls do what they want at all

[@Stephanievp1]

It’s Kelton...and there was an episode on how Josie was too young. She was under 18. Do👏🏾your👏🏾research 👏🏾👏🏾

[@nodaknorskie1486]

If you believe they set their own standards I have some swamp land to sell to you.

[@tracyredfern8663]

Lawson nor Nathan live at home. So why would their parents tell them what to do? Katie lives at home, so she has to abide by the rules. There is no double standard here. All the boys had chaperones when they dated and lived at home. If you watch the show you would know that.

[@brittanybonnell4769]

Their daughter Josie just answered a question last night on Instagram. Saying her and her husband chose to kiss before marriage.

[@elizaolsen9532]

Exactly. Gil and Kelly have both said they don't force their children to do anything against their will they just give advice and show them the way . It's not a dictatorship it's a family with family values ! My family are christian and my Dad was a pastor of a Full Gospel Church ! We we're asked to always have chaperones but it was still our choice . I was a single mother at 20 , but it was my choice not my Mom or Dad . I still stayed at home until my son was born . I had a job from age 16 for extra spending money . I'm one of eight children . Both of my parents we're married before and divorced their first spouse. So divorce is not the norm but it's not totally unheard of in the church ! It's a choice !

[@hopenorum6501]

As far as I know it’s up to the girl’s parents. Maybe these girls they have don’t have the same thing. That tells me that these guys may be breaking away from IBLP

[@marthashellman1973]

NOT a double standard. Katie was much younger and still living at home. Nathan & Lawson are grown ups living on their own!

[@voniarichardson7945]

I'm thinking it's the girls family who set the rules, and the Bates boys are a lot older. Look at John-David and Abbie, they didn't have chaperones for all their dates. Jana tagged along for the big events, as his twin for support. They've all stated as much..

[@bmcgovern8572]

You know as a mom of 2 daughter's - I kind of like the idea of chaperones when they are out of the house dating --

[@soul_shine942]

During this day & age I actually like the idea too. Also, for me, it depends on how old they are, the maturity level of each individual child/teen, as well as whomever they're going on a date with. That's just me & as far as I'm concerned, the rules & expectations for our children, are solely based on the decision of my husband and myself. Frankly, as long as there's no abu*e taking place, the way people raise their children is their choice and their business!!! We have very open lines of communication with our children, nothing is off limits (sometimes I hear more than I'd like to) but they tell it all & that's what we've always thought our children. To each their own!!!

[@kmills1231]

I like the idea for the first few dates if you dont know the person especially if meeting online

[@louisekirk5718]

would you also want that if you was a boy mum? i mean would you want your boys chaperoned just the same way?

[@soul_shine942]

@@louisekirk5718 As a boy & girl mom, yes both! IMO it really just all depends on the circumstances. Age, maturity level, who they're going with, etc...

[@chimmyfinch8835]

It’s not a bad idea as long as the same standards are set for sons as well as daughters. I have sons and a daughter, and i would like the idea for both.

[@peggysuegiggles9383]

lawson is the one who is supporting the family since he is the only one who is having an income coming in. only income the bates have is a tree business. do not think a tree business is going to support a large family. besides the show

[@ninawest8]

Did u see the video where Lawson had his hand on Tiffany's knee...That NEVER would happen with Katie or the other girls who courted already...And that is bullcrap!!!

[@nancykenyon2778]

The reason for not kissing before marriage is because kissing can lead to you wanting to go farther, I am a Christian, not a fundamentalist but a Bible believing Christian and I absolutely regret not waiting till my wedding night to be intimate.

[@pamhaag1604]

I guess i thought it was up to the girls family to provide a chaperone. I could be wrong.... I also think about Jana. She 30 and how many chaperones does she have to have??? I think its weird and very controlling and if they are courting why cant the couple decide what their boundaries are for them???

[@Daisyjc2386]

When i was 20, had an older boyfriend who had graduated college a year before i did; i was working part time at a clinic, taking upper level Biology courses at a top private university in the nation , and livin it up with my girlfriends off campus. blows my mind that these 20 something girls wake up in their childhood bedroom, clean the house and tutor their siblings.

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

Same. I was in Spain at 20.

[@MelePaasi]

Yeah different people do different things. Big woop

[@eliciaeldridge3452]

To each their own, I was in a situation where I needed to help take care of some family members but I now eight years later I have a strong bond with them that I am really grateful for and I have a good memories with my family that wouldn't trade for anything.

[@juliancain3872]

I stayed at home until 24... and I hate to admit it I only moved out because I got married. Strange for a guy to do I know. Mostly because I went to college during the recession and it was more affordable. My first wife and I did save up for an apartment but I see what you mean.

[@MelePaasi]

@@eliciaeldridge3452 it’s fair that everyone has their own values and priorities in life, it’s a blessing we’re all different!

[@traceymote1079]

I say it,s about TRUST the mum and dad have no trust in there kids

[@patriciastarkey4951]

I was so excited when Whitney ( with Zach) got her realty lisence (sp?). She is pretty much a stay at home mom but she was working for awhile!

[@kzona9621]

I think Nathan did follow the courtship/chaperone rules with his first gf a few years ago, I wonder if the difference now with Nathan and Lawson is because they are so much older. Who knows, be nice if they addressed it on the show.

[@mmprice1275]

He did. I remember his first serious girlfriend they brought chaperones. The Bates never seemed super strict about the chaperone rule and always seemed like an excuse for the younger kids to go out.

[@dawn94762030]

I think Travis had to buy a house before he & Katie could get engaged, which he did do a few weeks ago. And yes. He's still in school. I guess he doesn't graduate to 2023. And when it comes to courtships, Travis's family is even more strict and are why Katie & Travis have a no touch relationship till they get married. Kelly & Gil did kiss before their marriage. And they dated like regular people for two full years before they got married.

[@robinhood3951]

True. And shock! they met in college.

[@Ribcrickett]

Travis set his own goals he wanted to reach before getting engaged. Owning a home was one of them.

[@dorcasescalona1466]

I had a chaperon and I was 25yrs old I am not a fundamentalist but that's how I was raised. No boyfriend till I was 18 and that's my husband was my only boyfriend and I met him when I was 23 or 24 we were boyfriends for almost a yr. Then we were engaged for a yr and we've been married for 13yrs so far and he is a great man of God and Me and my husband are raising our kids now the same way as I was raised. I think just because a person is raised to not date till a certain age or have a chaperon with them is good I've seen girls that are 9 and 10yrs old with boyfriends these are kids and theirs even 11 and 12 yes old coming out pregnant so do I agree with the bates and the Duggar yes they have done a good job with their girls

[@celiamartinez3]

I totally agree. Have a friend who’s 14 ur old son got a girl pregnant bc she said she trusted her son. No sorry but kids need chaperones and to be watched.

[@mrs.b.6908]

I love that you said "b-bopping". It's something I say too! Anyway, I don't like the double standard and I agree with your points.

[@findinggold1463]

The women started a boutique, they are equals, that is powerful. The Bate girls went to college or are in college. I don't think the husbands are putting the women under their thumbs. They want to let them do their thing, even after they have children. I don't think they show the chaperones for the guys. I like the other comment " it's about safety"

[@Catglittercrafts]

What college tho?

[@Mzlily09]

@@Catglittercrafts crowns college I think 🤔

[@findinggold1463]

@@Catglittercrafts nursing, cosmetology

[@namaraguzi1494]

I see you point but Katie had a chaperone because she started dating at 18 and she still lived at home now the brothers that are older than her are like 23-30 and they live alone meaning they can make their own choices.

[@kristinheggen7894]

I probably needed a chaperone more than my big brothers, but in my case, ai was actually allowed to do more than my brothers did. While they tended to get in more trouble and get caught, I was just sneaky about it lol. Glad that I never had to deal with this double standard.

[@cristinayutronich3188]

I think that is ridiculous that girls have to have a chaparron but boys don't have to.

[@vanessas.6893]

The Bates also admit to not adhering to the strict rules during their courtship and engagement. I think they said they did not plan to have as many children. They seem to have adopted the religion or beliefs after marriage.

[@ChillyMilly908]

on the show they have talked about this. it is not a RULE to have a chaperone, but its is strongly suggested by the parents. most of them just do it out of respect for their parents and say they are listening to their parents wisdom based off of their parents life experiences. so the fact that Katie said she wants chaperones means her parents are going to enforce that rule because that is what she asked for. they're not going to enforce that rule for any of their kids who didn't set that standard

[@theresalong6403]

After a certain age they do not have to have someone. They live by old rules. If you read Victorian age, families protected their Daughters, Son's could protect themself's. In this day and age it might be a good thing and we wouldn't have twelve and thirteen years having baby's.

[@ApoloniaJones1976]

Kelly and Gil did kiss before they were married. So did Jim Bob and Michelle.

[@jassray9678]

I may be wrong by putting my opinion out there and if I am I'm sorry but if the duggars keep controlling these kids when they do get out of the house and get married they have no idea how bad this world is and it's totally going to eat them up

[@karimoore106]

Yeah maybe it’s not fair but typically they end up with a girl who also has the same beliefs and even if Lawson let’s say doesn’t have a chaperone his gf more then likely would?! Idk

[@costellosamuel3706]

There is totally a double standard with the Bates girls and boys. I recently saw a clip with Lawson, Tiffany, Erin and Chad Paine, ( Bates Family Chat - Season 10 Premiere). Lawson hand was on Tiffany"s knees , round her waist and shoulders while they were sitting. I was a bit taken back after seeing this because of their strong religious beliefs. I thought no touching until marriage. Here poor Katie is looking for a chaperone to go on a date with her fiancé.

[@warropr69]

This double standard in courting is weird. This past week Lawson and Katey hosting the pre show before Bringing up Bates, I just kind of got the creeps. When she talks she sounds so meek & she’s tiny. He seems over-powering & big compared to her. Just didn’t like the vibe.

[@Nomames6600]

Ain’t Lawson and his girlfriend expecting a baby before they got married?

[@sherriholcombe5428]

This isn't surprising in the funniest world. In the Bible God says Christians aren't supposed to show partiality,so this isn't right. In the fundie world boys and girls are raised with the same teachings so the rules of courtship should be the same for both. It shouldn't be ok for the boys to kiss and feel up girls- aren't those someone's daughters?

[@Yvetteabby]

I personally thinks it sets a double standard when you have Lawson and Nathan in courtships now and they are doing the touchy feely and hugs and kisses they are doing with their girlfriend’s. Along with no chaperone on their dates! The girl’s were also of age and adult but they didn’t have option when it came to chaperone! Katie is 20 so what’s the difference? Sends a mixed message !!!!

[@robertahernandez4871]

That’s messed up bc it’s equal men and women it’s not fair with Lawson and Nathan to run around with there gf and Katie has to have a chapatone

[@CoffeeLover-mz7bk]

The girl's family is responsible for providing the chaperone.

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

I realize this - it’s the double standard

[@CoffeeLover-mz7bk]

Yeah. It sounds like the Duggar boys date girls whose families don't provide chaperones. Their thought process is probably if the girl's families don't provide chaperones then everything goes. It is definitely a double standard.

[@cheryllauscher4804]

Yes with Lawson I follow him on IG and I mentioned that Lawson didn’t have a chaperone. Someone said they did but I’m not sure if I believe that. He’s on the go allot and I’m sure they always can’t find a chaperone.

[@montyollie]

I find referring to it as a "V Card" kind of offensive. Maybe I expect more from you because you are a particularly eloquent feminist who had an opportunity here to destigmatize "virginity" and talk about what a load of crap that is. To use a cutesy term like "v card" to refer to gross inequity between men and women just minimizes what a problem this whole thing is in purity culture. I like that you usually educate your audience about stuff like this, but you missed your chance in this vid

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

I can’t say the word, so I had to use it. Sorry it made you mad. I literally said if a man lost his - it’s not a big deal & that’s why it’s a horrible double standard

[@teresacatherine3811]

I think they do this because the Dads can or think they can trust their own sons behavior because he knows how they were raised but when their daughter is dating a boy the Dads cant be sure how that boy was raised so they don't trust them, hence feel the need for a chaperone to be there.

[@reneepetersen859]

It’s usually the girls to bring the chaperone. So that’s on Tiffany & Esther.

[@reniplayzandsays2261]

I don’t think it it is 100% a double standard. I think it is because the other person’s parents are playing into this. Travis’ parents are very strict fundie and skirt only, so therefore they have stricter courtship standards. Esther’s family, on the other hand , are not strict fundie. Esther wore shorts and had a job. Tiffany’s parents are not even fundies. If Lawson and Nathan courted women from strict fundie families, they would have stricter rules. If Katie courted a man from a more lenient family, they would have more lenient rules. Maybe next time remember that there are two sets of parents in all these courtships.

[@LisaofHopewell]

Esther looks older than Nathan. Is Tiffany still with Lawson? She must be insane.

[@kimmiller1651]

I wonder if it has to do with their age. Katie is a lot younger than Lawson.

[@rebeccaquayle9072]

I would think that it's the girls family who provides the chaperones.

[@rebeccaquayle9072]

And it's quite possible that the girls family doesn't want to expose the whole family on the show just yet so we may not see the chaperones for the boys. We know there are standards for the boys and it doesn't surprise me if they differ for each gender.

[@armourup4876]

The views expressed by Katie Joy are her opinions and should not be considered fact. Aint that the truth!!!

[@patriciabarajas4323]

Nathan and Lawson are grown men. You obviously don’t watch the show

[@cheryllauscher4804]

Lawson and Nate are older and I just thought they wouldn’t have a chaperone. Someone said that Zac did when he was courting Whitney.

[@kathrynmason5702]

Maybe they need to invest in a chastity belt ha ha ha ha ha

[@TheJpep2424]

It's disturbing you think it's any of your business.

[@shellyp_va4047]

Ive been hearing that Lawson and Nathan don’t have chaperones and I’m curious how we know for sure the boys don’t have chaperones? Not all the pics look like selfies. Many of the pics look like someone is taking them. Just curious...

[@WithoutACrystalBall]

They’ve been alone many times

[@Elizabeth-lj1vm]

I love the Bates family!!

[@warropr69]

I think it so strange the way Mama Bates pushes these courtships & engagements of her girls so obviously during the television program. I’d be embarrassed if I was her daughter.

[@lillee0205]

so wanted to share my input......... commonly the girl of the relationship (with her parents) set the standards for the regulations... meaning if the parents don't want them to go unchaperoned its because they actually get that decisions. now with the bates boys.... their girlfriend would set the standards for the relationship.. I imagine that the boy will get a say but maybe not as larger as the girl..

[@fyefamily1628]

I think Josie and kelton also said that they kiss before the wedding.

[@ria75002]

This is more magnified version of something that is prevalent in society at large: we raise our daughters and love our sons. Its very sad but a lot of younger women are fed up with it

[@juliemiller6966]

I went on one date with a guy with a chaperone (his sister). Super, super weird.

[@LS-se3ei]

Why to much judgement going on. The Bates are responsible with related issues.

[@arnagoddard7798]

As christians they should know that a woman was created from the rib of a man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him.And near to his heart to be loved by him. And when they get married they become ONE FLESH. Seems to me they only leave in what they want, and omit the rest. After all a man listened to a woman when he ate the fruit. He obeyed her. lol

[@fitfatbrittrny]

I waited until marriage with no chaperones and kissed my husband...🤷‍♀️

[@kristagates825]

Same

[@lauralawrence4435]

The girl's father is probably responsible for her protection. One Dad wouldn't want to step on the other one's territory. So Icky!!!

[@kathya9522]

I think it is fine the boys have some freedom. I think it is deplorable the girls do not.

[@princeedward9787]

The girls are expected to stay home and have babys 😢 while the husbands out prowling around..wonder how many are cheaters theres gotta be a few 🤔

[@jessicacantrell9847]

I wonder sometimes who will chaperone Josie Duggar since she is the baby. Lol.

[@thelivabug8147]

Probably her nieces and nephews, there’s plenty of them that’s for sure lol

[@aak9563]

I have a feeling it’s also a age thing....they are much older then the rest of them. Not that it is completely right, but I don’t think at almost 30 You should have the same rules as a 20 year old.

[@kryssysmith1486]

Good to know I'm not the only one, who loves to dive into cults :) I LOVE your channel

[@helixmoore7636]

Patriarchy is NOT Biblical. You are not second in command to GOD and women are not subservient to you.

[@kathrynmason5702]

It is not fair for both families to have double standards one for the guys and one for the girls there needs to the equal rights for both the girls and guys

[@rebeccalunsford9372]

Yes it bothers me. Totally agree with you Kaite.

[@TheSillyCanadian1]

So wait, is it that the family of the girl is expected to provide the chaperone to report back to the family if she messes up? Because like that seems like it right. Like those other girls, I guess their families don't care. Or maybe they want their girls to marry up the Fundie ladder? I don't follow these guys particularly so like I know they're pretty high up there, but like yeah.

[@aaaagggghhhh6370]

there's a photo out where Nathan has his fingers in the girl friends shorts..

[@chichimcgee7283]

Lawson found a beard 🙈🙉🙊

[@princeedward9787]

Thinking the same thing! Hes adorable tho and a family fav. Wish he'd live his truth so sad if its true that he cant!

[@triciaboo1204]

I always call it their accountabilla-buddie 🙃😄

[@Ribcrickett]

I like that.

[@triciaboo1204]

@@Ribcrickett it was at some point part of a show in my childhood but during girl scouts camp they legit gave us older (by like 3 years...like that was safe at all) buddys and gave them that name too so it makes me laugh even harder.

[@lynnblack2393]

I have said double standard all along boys hugging up on the girls to much but the girls can only hug a few seconds and sometimes it was when they were engaged

[@ashleyolson9076]

I was an adult before I got married and my siblings didn’t want to go with us on a date.

[@catherinewest6378]

I have a feeling this was a longer courtship because of what happened with Nathan and Ashley with her being “Northern/big city.” Travis’s family is pretty different. I also wonder where they’re going to live.

[@rebeccacaulberg216]

I was my sister's chaperone and I honestly didnt care what they did as long as I got to have fun.

[@SummerLove316]

I had a cousin that decided to wait until his wedding day to have his first kiss with his wife. None of my other cousins went this route it was truly a choice. Also having a chaperone is like having your kid go on a group date minus the chaperones not being on a date as well. Their is nothing wrong with waiting to do certain things, it should be one’s own choice as it has been with people in my family that may have waited & those that didn’t wait. Nobody treats anyone differently over these choices! My parents actually went to a Bill Gothard (SP?) event & found it to be a little much but their takeaway was the few random things they felt had merit that they would have done anyway due to the culture of the faith they were part of. I can tell that my dad wasn’t impressed with Bill Gothard (sp?) at all as he could barely remember anything about it beyond where it took place & that the few things that he & my mom would have done was already part of the organized religion that they were part of, I wish I could ask my mom but she passed away when I was really young!