The Best of Nikki Glaser

Nikki Glaser’s best bits are finally all in one place, from her rant about maiden names to her explanation of how to use a diaphragm. (Contains strong language.)
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[@youup]

Every week, Nikki Glaser invites celebrities and fellow comedians to dish about everything from pop culture to the dirty details of their personal lives on her show, You Up. Subscribe to the brand new You Up channel for new episodes & clips every week: kzbin.info/door/EVBir9A-WQIOZq4JmAifUg

[@anthonypaduano5298]

Like she's hot but in that black and white dress, why do her knees look like Betty White?

[@florenziasenna5041]

#1hour talking about blow jobs...... #metoo

[@realhusky]

Okay I'll give it a go. Nikki has the best vagina jokes on the market.

[@onlyt82]

"Girls rule. Women are funny. Get over it." - Eric Cartman

[@LittleMacscorner]

I just want you to know that both you and Whitney Cummings have entirely changed my perspective on woman in a positive way. I hope to one day meet and be with a woman as smart and clever and sexy as each of you. Thank you for teaching me woman really are as capable as men. I like it. I hope my daughter grows up to be as clever as the both of you. .

[@storm0fnova]

is it me or is she just drop dead gorgeous?

[@Disciple_of_Cthulhu]

Not just you.

[@fernie2583]

No....not just you cause I think she’s PRETTY HOT too!! 😍😉

[@suburbia8831]

Erocknrolla she’s hot af 😍

[@heyya7464]

Just you

[@tightirl]

she looks pretty haggard except for 7:35

[@azndrgnboi34]

Who's here because of Tom Brady!

[@aprillivelyfe6137]

Yep, she was funny on the roast so had to check out some of her standup.

[@seven.s_stars]

i’m here because of hysteria :)

[@Girintina]

She's like an R-rated version of Eleanor Shellstrop. I love it

[@icymoons]

eleanor would be r-rated if not for the good place censors

[@broth7905]

that's one of the most perfect descriptions I've ever heard

[@kaylar.6437]

100%

[@kaylar.6437]

mazie lmfao correct right-

[@maytrinchi9257]

this comment amazes me

[@newcustoms4019]

"Dad, Chris came inside me. Come here! Mmm, I kept it in." 😂😂😂

[@jasperjenkins7729]

My real name is Chris. I was turned on!! 😂

[@jahsnoke8043]

Actually that joke was the best one of the lot, No actually it was the ONLY joke of the lot

[@guillermosenties.848]

Saw her on Conan, now I'm just binge watching her videos until her special, I mean I'm love with turtle beaver.

[@kumareshn7742]

Guillermo Senties. Same here dude

[@DiscordBeing]

When is her special? I've been looking for one since her roast of Alec Baldwin.

[@sanjikurohashi1548]

Exactly how and why I'm here too! Conan is the best man.

[@pj101]

Me too and I trust conan

[@kodiiayyeee256]

Ahh the micropenis man lol

[@charleskuckel3173]

Her best bits DON'T include her "Roast" appearances. Now THOSE are even better!

[@twuuwttwu]

maybe that's because this video is 1 year old?

[@mahmamia5100]

@@twuuwttwu Not sure what that has to do with it, since her roast appearances are over a year old, so it's not like they weren't around when this video was made.

[@spaceghost5026]

I find it refreshing to see a compilation without the roasts... They have a different feel

[@user-sq2gd9vl7s]

Who here after Alec Baldwin roast?

[@lesincompris5935]

Meeeeeee

[@francisw6993]

Shut the fuck up with all your "Who's here after?" comments. We know all you want is likes... what a sad, pathetic life you list live.

[@owN3CQcFpM3PPaNf]

I'm here after Howard Stern interview

[@briancombs9671]

Me

[@Abel1120]

i was watching porn...

[@markalexander3659]

"He gave me a good philling" has EXACTLY the connotation, though lol

[@rafthethinker4948]

She's so underrated yet Amy Schumer is popular

[@i3k291]

Ikr Nikki is way funnier

[@ShadowsDML]

If people that don't like Schumer stopped talking about her everywhere maybe she would be less popular.

[@jackiefreeborn2563]

Oh. They’re both chicks. I get it. Brilliant comment.

[@afvro75]

Rafael artiga She’s actually becoming very popular. She’s funnier and hotter than Schumer in my opinion.

[@toddgaines9446]

Aside from the FACT that Amy steals all her good jokes from others. Nikki is original, that is the point here.

[@MasterApprentist]

Her legs are as underrated as her comedy

[@markt9614]

God those legs......

[@timothyhaskell8262]

Both of them👍

[@Arriolaa]

The right leg is much more defined. #ilike

[@theriphraff]

Dude! You guys are in my head! Her legs are gorgeous.

[@KaraboLegwaila]

You should see her feet!

[@capcarleone8271]

"Dad, Chris came inside me! Come here!" 🤣🤣🤣 I fucking lost it lmao

[@ducebigga9618]

Lmfaooooo in tears

[@capcarleone8271]

@@ducebigga9618 swear! Lmao I had to rewind it and watch it like 5 times lmao

[@bboyle98]

Take a shot every time someone unnecessarily compares her to Amy Schumer lol

[@marcillioficino4663]

She's funnier and better looking than Amy Schumer.

[@rhettzkie]

She more talented than Amy Schumer.

[@TheWonderfulWino]

I can't drink that much!

[@bboyle98]

Joe Guiffre it’s unnecessary because they aren’t competing with each other any differently than the way she’s competing with any other comic.

[@MovieRiotHD]

I'm even wondering what audiences like Amy Schumer? Why do they find her funny? Her comedy just does not seem well structured and have a lot of depth..

[@NgataNare]

these are exactly my thoughts when I see expecting ladies

[@joshandabradford3144]

Lol..right

[@Frilleon]

Hahaha I know it’s so dumb but same. It’s not even judgement lol

[@happybirthday146]

I silently assess the attraction sensibility of whoever the biological father is: "Oh, he likes the doughy, beady-eyed, officious type. Interesting."

[@DaveWraptastic]

Seriously how weird is it to basically shout from the rooftops: HE CAME INSIDE ME

[@happybirthday146]

@@DaveWraptastic :) For real.

[@shaunbarbee2087]

How in God's name could Amy Schumer possibly be more popular than this woman? Nikki Glaser is amazing, hilarious, talented and freaking hot.

[@alphabanjaxedbanshee7034]

Nope, just you.....she is new wave trash, all these MTV freeload entertainers that are wiggling their way into real entertainment are

[@francisw6993]

They both suck.

[@samij6071]

@@francisw6993 then why are you watching weirdo?

[@Red4350]

@@samij6071 theres many reasons for him to watch this video without him being a wierdo....maybe he gets a kick out of watching (in his opinion) sucky comedians...maybe he couldn't even get past the first minute and went to comment "they both suck"....maybe he said she was bootycheeks last year and wanted to see if she got any funnier...lots of reasons....just cause you commented on a video doesn't mean you watched the whole video...maybe its his first time hearing her comedy...i just found out who she was today....cause to know wether you like something or not you still have to watch it either way to make an opinion

[@kofola9145]

@@samij6071 To figure out why people think it is funny. I am trying to find a female comedian, but so far it is just middle-aged females talking about their sexual escapades.

[@JWelcomeMedia]

I didnt search for this, but I'm damn glad KZbin recommended this. Going on a Nikki Glaser binge now

[@hi5_centipedes874]

"We're having a man!" LMAO

[@LinnicBee]

I thought I was the only one who thought about that when seeing expecting moms announcing their pregnancies to family lol 😂 its a natural part of life but still, you know that thought crosses the dads mind and makes him cringe 😂

[@jasminflowerz1710]

😹😹😹😹😹😹

[@pangometersen8834]

😂

[@angiehunt3152]

Pop

[@markmellon3727]

When my mom told her dad she was pregnant, he asked, "well just what have you rascals been up to?!"

[@LinnicBee]

@@markmellon3727 nooooooo 😂 you NEVER acknowledge it

[@adamkoehler5747]

Her punchline about rogering vs filling was amazing

[@maxmiller5619]

Not even joking....that is the truest joke like ever. I legit called my mom once to ask her maiden name for my bank account....and legit was even like "Can you spell it?" lmfao

[@cookiehustle]

6:15 was soooo me whenever a teacher got pregnant

[@jays-move8803]

Right?! Like...you must have had SEX!

[@guacamoli7]

Everyone’s favorite teacher got pregnant and I was just like....yeah..your favorite teachers GETTIN IT.

[@David-vn2id]

I did not like her at first and now she has grown on me. Nikki, great timing, super funny.

[@OrentholJames]

She is hands down the best female comic in this era

[@5Ci0N]

Iliza Schlesinger is better

[@imanf3882]

Lmao nahhh. She’s funny but I prefer Ali womg

[@josefrisch8776]

No, that would be Ms Pat.

[@NebulaWolf01]

Correction: Whitney Cummings

[@darkplasmo7921]

that doesn't mean a lot 10min and all it is is mild amusement and its 4am it shouldn't be that hard to male me laugh

[@RollingThunder20]

1:14 “Why couldn’t you stay a baby?!” 😂 I’m dead 🤣

[@HereToComment24]

Best female comedian right now.

[@austinchristian7936]

She is better kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJSwepivn8yamK8

[@showtime951]

How do you know? Where is she right now?

[@Johnny-tq9no]

Which isn't saying much because she's trash

[@jukie102]

Nikki Glaser is so funny and seems super chill. Probably one of the top three female comedians out there. I would love to see her concert and I'd definitely give her the business.

[@deveryshepardson3640]

bigg playa do you meaning you’d give her a good fidgeting? Lol

[@rogerlmoore4544]

@@deveryshepardson3640 do you meaning bigg playa would give her a good Roger-ing? Lol

[@xgullafter9590]

You'd probably shit your pants if you were within 10 metres of her. Appreciate her comedy and I guess looks too maybe but no one needs to know that you'd do her if you could.

[@hollywoodshopaholic]

@@xgullafter9590 it's so funny that men only seem to approve of female comics if they find them sexually attractive

[@xgullafter9590]

@@hollywoodshopaholic I agree, a lot of dudes do this, but it's mainly because that's what they think is normal and appropriate to do, give it at least a decade and I'm sure this whole toxic dynamic will fade away for the most part, at least concerning female comics because theyre being given more of a platform and importance in society nowadays

[@donnelljunior4198]

The Tom Brady roast brought me here

[@kyriesanchez4122]

Bro I love watching her. Jesus she's so fun and funny.

[@hollywoodshopaholic]

I lost it at "I took back the night"

[@coliedeekenzo]

This is gold! I laughed soo hard! Probably the best laugh in years! Thank you Nikki Glaser

[@staytight6340]

You laughed?

[@TheDWB]

I'd not heard of Nikki Glaser before Baldwin's roast and now I'm low key in love with her.

[@LeeHarrisdj]

She’s a breath of fresh air and her comedy feels very British, always a step further, love her!

[@andydunne3349]

British? Er no....very American

[@staytight6340]

British😂😂😂

[@taxpayertaxpayer6569]

It's dry, a lot of people can't get dry humor.

[@BrandonTurchiano]

I enjoyed that. She's great.

[@alanthompson4912]

Wow, awesome,laughed out loud multiple times,I will be looking forward to more

[@gregoryneale8288]

Wow I don’t know what I just listened to but sometimes it’s not times to try to be funny. It’s important to listen to real things and not use a defensive mechanism. Wow. Brilliantly said 🙏🏼

[@aadamusman7980]

First time I've heard of her, definitely going to watch more....

[@nisoldi]

Never heard of her before she was on the JRE, and now I am glad she was, because she is insanely funny.

[@Elmalab]

fuck joe rogan though..

[@johnjones2nd667]

Is it just me or does she look absolutely gorgeous and cute in that dress?

[@grindcoremaniac]

She has some wonderful legs.

[@i3k291]

she does

[@aatuvaan7563]

Not you, it's Nikki who looks cute in a dress

[@joeyvast]

The front row can look right up her skirt. Must be nice lol

[@rickfrompawnstars5550]

ChallengingAtrophy 2nd who gives a fuck

[@Katie_TheNorthernCaNotary]

The bit about a woman's last name being thrown away is one of the funniest things I've ever heard

[@timbastiaans3212]

kkr op

[@sumeunggai5665]

Rip

[@mikk01975]

But thankfully no one uses those "security" questions anymore! Good riddance!

[@sarahklein210]

@@spankbuda3084 why dont you honor some bitches

[@AcidAroma]

I’ll marry you and give you my last name sweetie ;)

[@rh3426]

'what's that sonny?' lmao

[@markbrynteson5141]

I bet Nikki would be a blast to party with, she’s funny

[@nevaehlheaven]

That's so true! I remember being in middle School and my class found out that our teacher and her husband were having a baby and I was like: Teachers have sex!?!?

[@fanofeverything]

The maiden name thing is so true. Never made any sense to me.

[@TheJoergenDK]

I am having the greatest laugh in a very long time!

[@billyblackattacks]

when she discusses sex it flows very naturally from her and doesnt seem forced or corny or just saying it for shock value "YEA A GIRL IS SAYING SHE LIKES SEX! DEAL WITH IT MEN!" she is a very funny comic and I demand more of her! she needs to be super famous

[@kenuprotada8048]

I mean it’s literally because she’s had tons of sex lol. You need to be experienced at it to let the jokes flow off like that. Hard to talk about something and make it believable if you aren’t experienced at it.

[@brandonjohnson2350]

Not only is she super talented and hilarious. She has to be the prettiest comic of all time. Smoke show lol

[@shamell32]

Iliza Schlesinger is better looking

[@m2goofy760]

@@shamell32 that's a tough call between those 2. I wouldn't kick either out of bed till I was finished with round 3.

[@xgullafter9590]

@@m2goofy760 oi buddy calm down, you'd need to have a chance with them in the first place

[@DavidSmith-pg1ob]

Oh please, Phyllis Diller was the prettiest comic of all time!

[@Darksagan]

Whiteney Cummins is funny asf and hot.

[@FTulumello]

I love her sense of humor as well as her bod !

[@Gabrosoft]

love her stories

[@mahimahi3991]

So funny, witty, and beautiful too 😍

[@georgephilis]

Absolutely love her comedy!!!

[@richcornell3229]

She killed at the Baldwin roast.

[@stevestringer7351]

She is pretty darned funny. Great timing and delivery. She has the looks that allow her to say what she does and still be very attractive.

[@___wij]

Her curveball jokes are great.

[@seanlange378]

I had absolutely zero idea how much talent this lady has she is absolutely hilarious.

[@henghour7084]

Naw man

[@manicmurderdoll]

This is the first stand up comedy act I have truly enjoyed since like, Christopher Titus. Nikki Glaser is so funny I almost peed my pants and that is just...awesome. I'm manic depressive so if someone can make me laugh that hard....This woman is comic gold.

[@Eskey__]

I love coming out so I’ll love going in...... get in there cowboy💀😂😂😂

[@althausz1]

I love her look in that pony tail

[@martyjohnston397]

Hahahahahah some dude named Doug

[@robertscott501]

6:00 I once saw a t-shirt on a toddler that said, "I am living proof that mommy puts out" lol.

[@Tripp393]

I’m mad I didn’t know about this comedien until now. So good.

[@dlmason93]

I don't get why people are default comparing her to Amy Schumer. Same thing with Dave Chappelle and Kevin Hart...

[@sarcasm-83]

Because Nikki proves the style of comedy Amy does CAN be funny... But it just isn't when Amy does it.

[@Mrgorilla73]

no it's not the same thing. The girls are Jews and the black guys are funny

[@duggiedug9148]

@Jay Jones No your wrong asshole. They compare them because they're both blonde. And compare Chappelle because they're both popular black dudes the same age. Let's be real you idiot. Essentially people are comparing the 2 because they're not smart enough to understand the difference between both

[@supaman7832]

David Mason Literally no one compares Kevin Hart to Chappelle my guy.

[@seanscanlon9067]

@Jay Jones You do get that the words "why other people are" were quite significant words in the OP's comment, right?

[@tan116A]

0:00 Pause there and admire how perfect that face is. How perfect that nose is. God damn.

[@ieltswithshaaho]

Nikki, you’re amazing!

[@squirewellsrealtor]

Hysterical Brilliant!!!

[@cindymananzalamartinez6679]

10:48 My favorite part

[@alecnewman6052]

she's one of my favorite comics lmao always makes me laugh great podcast too

[@maiac8406]

Alec Newman I didn’t realize she had a podcast!!! Just found it and subscribed!! thank youuu!!

[@gregoryneale8288]

I am sooooo happy I got to be alive at the same time you are and watch you on TV. You made my life dude and I am sooo m fin proud of you. I don’t listen to the podcast much now because I am trying to write and I have to find self inspiration if that makes any sense.

[@japhetphiri8753]

I LOVE THIS GIRL

[@chrisaiston5405]

She's great! And those legs!!

[@jensjensen9035]

Simp

[@natn41r]

She's not LOL funny for me but I love to watch her because she's so well-dressed...which is really rare for stand-ups.

[@user-zl5rh4qj4p]

🎉 absolutely perfect! So gorgeous as well

[@happybirthday146]

6:19 :) So life-affirmingly, joyously adolescent in the best, most blissful possible way.

[@jeremyguthrie2539]

"Fooled around" is key for "didn't get laid"

[@leratophali9281]

July, you were getting it, you like it, you should be ashamed of yourself😂😂😂

[@nogoogleplus]

Haha great stuff……By far my fave female stand up comedian

[@srevans777]

Such a great comic

[@jupiter_9999]

Ugh she’s the besttttt

[@starfoxx3398]

She is hilarious😂

[@teresacueto]

0:18 that’s why in Spain and most Latinamerican countries we have “long last names”, because first our father’s last name and then our mother’s last name. And when women get married they don’t adopt their husband’s last name and that’s why they keep their last name (last names in this case)

[@jamesjohn9183]

I kept it in hahaaaa😂😂😂😂😂

[@MAINYGAMERS]

How is she not a bigger star??? She's funny af

[@alexphllips]

I just found out about her and she's really great. So funny!

[@Eyedonutno]

No, you are straight up wrong. Some say comedy is subjective, but this is objectively unfunny.

[@alexphllips]

@@Eyedonutno I guess we have a difference of opinion.

[@Eyedonutno]

@@alexphllips, opinions do not work here when the conversation of this persons funniness meter come up. It’s like trying to use a ground type move on a flying type, it just doesn’t work.

[@alexphllips]

@@Eyedonutno great

[@stevenfarrington5406]

She was sooooo hilarious, totally killed it, in the Brady Roast.

[@theshreyarawat]

I LOVE HER 😌❤️

[@brianagrant7009]

I love her so much lmao like 5:58-6:44 is so me. I thought I was the only one who thought like that

[@jaimebarba2814]

Love this woman 🤣🤣🤣

[@leahrubin1809]

I love her she is amazingggg(:

[@TahtahmesDiary]

Girl you should look up the Caya diaphragm! Diaphragms have changed since back then 💜🤗

[@katharineforsyth1870]

Tahtahme Xero what a pure comment

[@sinabonz8108]

Here in the Philippines. Everyone’s middle name is their moms maiden name so my name would be “name, moms maiden name, then surname “

[@nathanielemmons1924]

I'm a huge fan . always funny

[@julienrocher1]

So funny and so lovable

[@abhi7936]

So, in reality, everyone is better than Amy Schumer.?

[@bagofcorn7434]

Yes

[@Real_SkyRipper]

a dead Dog is funnier than that shoe.

[@mateoslab]

amy who?

[@Beefeater911]

“So, in reality, everyone is better than Amy Schumer?” Why is there a question mark at the end of that sentence?

[@HunterBidenCocaineBag]

Unlike Amy, not every one has an uncle who is the lead democrat Senator (Chuck Schumer from NY)

[@Bluemgwes]

She reminds me of Teri Garr. 1970s Teri Garr that is.

[@adorable3817]

Yes! I see it! Like in Mr. Mom 😁

[@nope_no_nunya.]

Yeah so true!😄

[@viralbuthow000]

Good eye

[@toddklempan105]

Agreed

[@matthewalexander1211]

I just can't get over the mad crush I have on this hilarious woman lol

[@gregoryneale8288]

Jeselnik got me tickets up close in the handicap section 😂😂😂 at Balboa Theatre

[@christopherrenzulli1418]

she's the new greg geraldo...that's how good she was roasting everyone!!

[@robertotamayoiii1434]

That's what I got out of it RIP Greg... she's fking ruthless hahahahahah just like him.

[@JV-tk9yn]

Unlike some of the others who won't be named, here you have a genuinely hilarious AND gorgeous female comedian! ❤️ ...and I'm totally stealing "rogering"

[@ianblake815]

I love this woman 😆💯❤️

[@shadowprince4482]

I loved that diaphragm joke.

[@mort8568]

fooling around bit got me good there, had to pause an everything