The BEST relationship advice EVER - Jordan Peterson

[@yadusolparterre]

1. Deliver the least amount of information you possibly can 2. Specify the routine you want transformed at the highest possible level of resolution 3. Recommend the minimal amount of necessary change that will satisfy you 4. Have them practice it begrudgingly, badly and in a bad temper and reward them for it 5. Reward - people are very responsive to reward and attention 6. Be patient - it can take months 7. Wait for the person to do what you want and reward them instantly 8. Suppress your response to negative things - a deviation from expectation creates a burst of negative emotions. Suppress your response to the exceptions, even though they stand out. Do not punish someone doing something right - this is the most hurtful thing you can do to them. 9. Teach them to train you - inform each other and be patient --- extra stuff --- 10. Set aside date nights 11. Choose a frequency for your date nights 12. Specify how an ideal date night would look like 13. Practice for 6 months

[@diannewoo4829]

yad Thank youu for breaking down the content of the video! 👏

[@yadusolparterre]

@@diannewoo4829 my pleasure! Actually, I initially did this for myself. Since your comment is the first one you see under a video, commenting is sometimes the best way to take notes lol

[@1up271]

thankyou !

[@devansh3700]

@@yadusolparterre thnx

[@bugeye8749]

Yeh thanks I rather be single af

[@poshdelux]

I miss him smiling like this, he had more weight on him too. Ever since the book hes never been the same, I hope he comes back around healthy and happy. - I am a graduate of University of Toronto

[@danza4519]

Yeah he has opened my eyes immensely, And I’m just a Builder in Australia I am literally speaking more correctly and giving so much more respect to people around me than I could ever imagine. I know I’ve only seen him in videos but I can’t completely agree with your comment

[@poshdelux]

@@danza4519 Hey Tim! You are not just a builder you are THE builder! Professor Peterson always teaches us to be the best in whatever field we choose. And I love your country! Other than that perhaps I should elaborate a bit; From January, 2018 to November 28th, 2018 Professor Peterson and his wife Tammy have been to over 100 cities promoting His book and hosting Lectures. In total he had his foot on the gas for 2 solid years working in front of the media none stop while at the same time being (for lack of a better word) shitted on. Shortly after in 2019 His wife was diagnosed with cancer. As you can imagine that is traumatizing to the entire family, but the show must go on if he wants people like us to continue to get inspired Stressed snd exhausted Professor was temporarily prescribed benzodiazepines that he quickly became addicted to. He is currently in Russia being treated. I hope hes back on youtube soon and continues his teaching!

[@contrarymary7638]

He said he is feeling better since eating meat only like his beautiful daughter. His wife has terminal cancer. He is a wonderful humane being how he tolerates so much ignorant responses....RESPECT ❤

[@shabyheltay]

Rosalina Posh I'm also a U of T grad, class of 2009. How I WISH I would have known about prof Peterson back then! I would have been sitting at the front of every class I could :)

[@agg25gga]

Maybe because the extreme left look for any possible way to discredit him these days. They can't attack his arguments because they're logically sound so they make up their own story and go for the man himself.

[@Austins_Corner]

It interesting actually seeing Dr. Peterson smile and laugh. This whole mess he has had to deal with seems to have sucked all the happiness and energy from him. I respect him a lot and wish him the best.

[@karolinasz.141]

yeah its so sad. i hope it all ends up okay for him

[@errolflynn610]

So true. Hes basically sacrificing himself for the greater good.. :/

[@redrumax]

I was actually thinking the same, I have never seen him smile before this vid.

[@saibotronian1821]

Austin's Corner Its true man, he has such passion, its contagious. But theres such a difference in his behavior, it was warming to see him smiling and joking onRogan's podcast aswell. cool vids man😀

[@laraoneal7284]

Austin's Corner Kudos to u for GETTING IT.

[@donielbrown4643]

What I really admire about Mr Peterson is that I really believe he has no agenda other than to help people which is a beautiful thing in this world

[@livelaughlove4635]

I agree with you.. I think he has good intentions but because of what’s going on they are trying to cancel him. So sad to see. I recommend seeing the documentary on him on Amazon Prime.

[@YS_Production]

1) I think JBP himself would HATE it for anyone to assume he has no agenda - be critical! 2) He makes a lot of money from his content (not directly from this particular video) - I think he gave the actual figures on Joe Rogan show. This goes to say he's not a "good Samaritan" - which has no bearing on whether or not his advice is good! Just as I meant to express in point 1), be on lookout, be alert, be critical. 3) I can't point to a particular piece by JBP, but I have a feeling his philosophy is not such that a person should have no agenda, but the opposite.

[@goodgirl140]

wow. He looks so much healthier and vibrant here. I don't think I've ever seen him smile in his more recent videos. Just goes to show what a huge amount of stress he's under.

[@gerald216]

goodgirl140 He smiles in his interview with Joe Rogan or The Ruben Report, don't remember which but it was the first time I had seem a genuine smile from him haha.

[@PatStarDJ]

goodgirl140 agreed. He actually kinda looks high..

[@ChangCappo]

It was as if he was spirit cooked by a satanic ritual.

[@tommcfadden5232]

goodgirl140 I agree with you. Dr. Peterson is a scholar, intellect, and teacher. By nature, and temperment, he thrives on engaging people in open, honest, and respectful debate. I think his sadness comes, in part, from recent events where so much of what he has experienced is shrill, vitriolic rantings. In such an environment, coupled with the fear of loosing his career, it's a wonder he is still functioning.

[@sofiadorrell99]

great comment, I agree. I really hope he gets a nice holiday this year

[@elonthebass6870]

I love this guy. Society calls him a professor and a clinician. I call him him a heartfelt, profoundly sincere and soulful human being.

[@gmarie4844]

Sure is , truly a genuine blessing to our world 🥰

[@agenfavo2903]

I see him as GOD who is always there with higher level of thoughts to guide me/us.

[@SunnyvaleTrailerParkSupervisor]

I see him as a fool. A foolish fool

[@tlstgrlnthwrld]

it's nice seeing him smile and laugh

[@aniceboy_6192]

Isn't it crazy? He's shown a lack of positive emotion in his recent appearances, understandably so.

[@tlstgrlnthwrld]

CJ C he's just been pretty stern (which is necessary). I've seen a few of his lectures and he's always on the more serious side I think, at least when it comes to discussing serious topics.

[@tlstgrlnthwrld]

david Ela he's been under fire for his resistance to the idea of barring freedom of speech and forcing people to use made up pronouns. he's been in many debates about it (where, I must say, he really holds his ground) and people keep labeling him as an extremist/hateful person because he is against the government forcing this on people. needless to say, he's having a tough time, fighting this insanity.

[@Gravitahn]

+david Ela These videos are good primers on the overall situation: The Agenda with Steve Paikin kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZLWmqKsZd6ne8U Interview on None of the Above channel: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ranWaHZjaJWHgrM Joe Rogan interview (covers many issues in depth) kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZmXaqnqBa9Bpfqc

[@matias.salimbene]

First time i see him smile, and yes, it's nice to see

[@eskapegoat86]

NEVER CURSE THE ONES YOU LOVE. Because telling someone who and how they will or should be in a negative context IS A CURSE. Never put them in a place under you, lest you not deserve them in your life in the first place... REAL TALK

[@drillsargentadog]

This is the sort of thing which should be universally taught in college: how to have good relationships than make you happy, how to become a fulfilled, contributing member of society. If people studied this instead of gender studies and social justice, our society would be incredibly strong.

[@theblackdaria_]

FREEDOMINATOR1776 lol, this is available at my school. It’s called interpersonal communication

[@makecodgreatagain6049]

Brianna Nechelle glad you had a perfect childhood as a black woman! Rare!

[@carolsnook4659]

That requires having commonsense, which is not all that common, that's why!!!

[@sarahf.s.2961]

Why can't u do both?

[@h.boylen6334]

i think it should be taught in high school. too many people have an absurd movie version of what love and romance are.

[@butsirrr]

*Breakdown of comments in this video:* 92% saying how he looks so happy and smiles 8% saying he is a hero 0% negative comments

[@ishkadon-ell4927]

He looks fat boom bitch

[@whyboar]

of course it's 0% wouldn't wanna punish good behaviour

[@gingertrang8686]

so?

[@evanm2024]

"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." - Jonathan Swift.

[@realbws94]

Awesome! I love it.

[@Kryptic712]

well, i guess jonathan swift was more correct than we thought, just look at marten

[@skyler114]

In case you didn't know, Peterson directly talks about Ms as a specific case of how you properly can inject change into the language. It was negotiated in, not compelled by incarceration.

[@jessieje8218]

brilliant

[@ST0RM777iii]

+Marten Dekker I cringed very hard.

[@ltsWaleed]

I just wish his students know how lucky they are for listening to him everyday

[@lordjamal4784]

I know what can work for your relationship contact me Phone number [phone] Email [e-mail] Prophet Joshua God be with you

[@HAZMOLZ]

He seems so relaxed and funny when he's not having to deal with all the pronoun bullshit thats swallowed him up of late. Stay strong Mr Peterson & fight the good fight.

[@Alex.Kalashnik]

Harry Molyneux Politics is very hard on people. It's a real battle.

[@kymberlishea2036]

Harry Molyneux 🙌💪

Such pathetic lickspittle dunces. Don't you feel ashamed at your weakness?

@@oriandthesleepytime You're a fucking moron worshipping a deluded junkie prick. You simple minded fucking dimwit.

[@TheRealTaco]

@ Still didn't answer and question and responded with aggression

[@traceycamm5768]

I love how he talks about conditioning our partners. Teaching people how to treat you. A valuable lesson in that ❤

[@robax]

The point to note in light of current events is that the desired behavior is requested, and then rewarded if received. It is not legislated.

[@NeverWolf]

This is an excellent comparison

[@mariussielcken]

Yeah, it's the old punishment/reward dichotomy. "Sexists, racists" are morally unworthy of reward and only worthy of punishment, while the 'opressed' are the opposite. It's absolutely untenable and irrational.

[@sitkahans]

we can all help him in the battle this is his patreon : www.patreon.com/user/posts?u=3019121

[@dead_again9839]

robaxx W. O. R. D.

[@Cpt.Phenom]

True say. Although, it's fucked how we can still apply this system to the current phenomena of leftism, wherein, the desired behaviour is in the legislative power of government, and their reward: a surmounting approval rating, i.e., the crowd's intent to re-elect. That's why it's an authoritarian movement; the fact that, through a leftist lens the world is viewed as zero-sum, indicates that when they dole out reward, it must be at the expense of another side's ability to also reward--which thus, debilitates them from encouraging the behaviour which they deem beneficial.

[@kathymercer2740]

1:12-1:53. When you come home, if you "don't have enough confidence to just BE HAPPY", that isn't the other person's fault. Rather, it is something the other person could help you deal with. Saying, "I have this peculiarity..." is owning up to your own need. And asking for their help indicates you believe in their love for you, that they will care and want to help you.

[@antimitsu]

That's a really good way of explaining that. I had a similar thought. Thanks for sharing :)

[@danacampbell1958]

It's wonderful to see Dr. Peterson laugh and smile. I've only become aware of him since he's been under fire from the language police.

[@danacampbell1958]

Thanks for the leads!

[@alexglase765]

yeah me too, but it's great that's he's come to light. He actually has given me an interest in psychology and philosophy.

[@bettydeguia3993]

Dana Campbell 8

[@bettydeguia3993]

Alex Glase 8l

[@jerrymarshall2095]

Yeah im sure the neo nazis on the left cant stand him.he blows blackholes thru their kindergarten games

[@PassedTime2788]

Don't stop smiling, Dr. Peterson. You deserve the happiness in turn which you dispense onto the world via your wisdom.

[@Rewwgh]

Peterson is a human treasure.

[@nicholasjames1101]

I agree, but Peterson looks stoned Rewwgh.Me.Enjoy his thoughts and talk. Same age and facing the same problem with a woman ANNA. Who I instinctively-loved. keep listening

[@3cs3hs]

that's cuz we got the best pot here in Canada!!

[@marycullen5750]

The most helpful human and one of the most brilliant minds among us ❤️ Loads of respect fo Dr Peterson’s humanity, kind explanations, and ongoing gift. Thanks JP

[@95TurboSol]

For anyone interested, this snipit comes from Jordan Petersons lecture series called "Maps of meaning" and it is very good, definitely worth the time.

[@unpaidintern7742]

Thank you

[@laraoneal7284]

95TurboSol Thx. I have to get the book.

[@jeffbotelho5035]

Positive reinforcement... Is everything. Lol

[@jordiewalters871]

Thank you for that😃👉🍻cheers

[@McEddyOfficial]

Thanks a lot! :)

[@TheLwinja]

i love this man's brain.. every time a listen to him, he solves one of my problems and his advice really works.

[@bearriver685]

I need to listen to this everyday until it becomes instinctive.

[@mishbishmashpotatoes8463]

Has it become instinctive?

[@masdr2627]

Update?

[@graywarden8340]

@The two comments above mine, Let's flog this man!!😤😤🔥🔥💃 Well has it?

[@mishbishmashpotatoes8463]

@@graywarden8340 I genuinely want to know 🤷

[@arafatdimitry]

We wanna know

[@rey_nemaattori]

I remember coming home with one the of best a school reports I've ever had. It consisted just 7's 8's and 9's for almost all subject (grades are from 1 to 10 in my country, with 10 being exceptionally outstanding), except a single 5 for French. And my parents just didn't stop bothering me about the one bad grade I had, cutting down on computer & tv time, taking away the Nintendo and what not. Not a single slack was given. From that moment on wards I never really scored well anymore. It was all 6's and 7's, never excelling, only putting in the bare minimum effort and frantically trying not to score below 6. Even though I have a degree in computer engineering (so french wasn't a big influence on my career anyways), I still regret my parents completely overlooked the fact I excelled in all beta subjects and scored good in history, geography, other languages like English and German and only gave me a bad time for the one bad grade I had. I could have gotten a lot further in life a lot faster and more confident if they at least acknowledged it was a good report. This is so much like not noticing the good things your partner does, I always compliment my gf on her accomplishments, how small they are. Because I don't want to destroy her self-confidence and most certainly do not want to resemble my parents by only noticing the bad stuff, destroying drive and sense of accomplishment. Very solid advice. On date night I really don't care what I do with my girl. I do not like all movies/bars/clubs she picks, she doesn't always like the restaurants/festivals/bars I pick..but it really doesn't matter, as long as we're together. I mean if you can have a good time together ANYWHERE, what difference does it make if you're not getting your ideal night? Next week the other gets to choose so it's still all balanced. (and if there's absolutely nothing in common, why the hell you're even together xD)

[@warriorfire8103]

Never thought I'd consider my self a fan of a professor. Really seems like a cool guy. So far I'd only seen him with his war face on so to speak, the passion mixed with disappointment. It's nice to see the passion but with more joy mixed in.

[@mandanaweingartner153]

I feel like he is a dad to everyone, I love this man he helped me so so much there is no way I could ever tell how much.

[@veronicabloomers3545]

What a wonderful psychologist/therapist, and genuine human.

[@uppercutgrandma4425]

Veronica Bloomers for sure

[@PFgreenisthecolour]

Marten Dekker so who's better, you can't just give an unsubstantiated opinion without a replacement. I didn't know someone who was a professor at Harvard was mediocre

[@aesthetic3521]

pfcymbaline bish yes !

[@BlueHopi144]

Marten is a troll - i saw it pretty quickly - his or hers problem is resentment / frustration and it often ends in projecting it on others ( a Great classic in this society when people dont want to know their own subconscious old patterns ) .

[@kaibe5241]

So what you're saying is, he's a fool and a catdog?

[@VujoGaming]

I wish I had heard all of his relationship advice before the woman I loved grew tired of my mistakes, his videos have really made me understand where I was going wrong and be able to reflect on myself.

[@iamjurell]

I was introduced to Professor Peterson through videos of his defense of freedom of speech, it's really bizarre, therefore, to see him smile.

[@UNUSUALUSERNAME220]

You are right, it is sad. He appears very tired, and he has lost weight. But he still has a sense of humor and seems to be in good spirits. I hope that this fight does not cost him great harm. It would be a shame to deny ANYONE the privilege of his brilliant insight.

[@iamjurell]

***** I'm starting to see him as a Christian version of either Hitchens or Dawkins. I would love to see him talk to Sam Harris.

[@Gravitahn]

That's partly why I uploaded this. There has been so much footage of him arguing, debating, fending off stupid questions, etc. that I thought the world would benefit from seeing a different side of him.

[@basedbattledroid3507]

iamjurell Same, I like seeing this more, I'm so tired of seeing that video again and again.

[@MusicalDistractions]

Thank you for posting this! Really appreciate it!

[@curiositea258]

God, this made me so happy to see Dr. Peterson having such a good time. I hope he doesn't loose this, with the great burden he is taking on now.

[@bennettwaisbren]

A pure brilliance emanates from this man. A tragedy how much he's being stomped over lately.

[@kylehasgeniusbits]

Trump has taken more public attacks than anyone ever in history, more than you could ever imagine by thousands of people orders of magnitude more important than you. I think he's taking it pretty well. What would a person with a spine do, that he's not doing?

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Trump's probably a sociopath or something, though.

[@nikko.lottsahcocc6917]

yes trump is a sociopathic criminal who gives no fucks and in kahoots with la cosa nostra on the 70s and 80s and early 90s and has since been a partner for the russian mafia in the usa, and highly connected in russia..... peterson on the other hand is a good guy and all this drama is probably making him stressed the fuck out.

[@antiglobaljoel532]

Polite Q Wow! Such an astute observation! And so much empirical evidence to support it!

[@markdanellejohnson3810]

Sure. But he was only one that could contend with the other sociopathic criminal megalomaniac warhawk HRC. Who would have most certainly pushed us into a war with Russia. Yay America. Congress is an utter cesspool of evil people and most of them don't really care which template of thought they represent. Of course America tried to vote against the machine, and the the machine used every resource to destroy Trump and what those votes actually stood for. So votes against congress are now "votes of racists and bigots" And the american left echoes this for them. As does some of the right. Anything to take the focus off of themselves. It's really not that hard to see this has been what's going on. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't let the clown win to say "See what happens when you vote against us America?"

[@elinaoberemok1732]

These are some excellent practices! I love how straightforward and precise are his directions, so all you have to do is simply do it! Great advice from a legend.

[@lordjamal4784]

I know what can work for your relationship contact me Phone number [phone] Email [e-mail] Prophet Joshua God be with you

[@cudreeti]

He should be in dictionary next to the word Genuine. Good fella

[@bellarose8511]

Jordan Peterson relationship advice: “Wait til the rat does what you want and then reward it”. Got it. 👍🏻

[@chrispalmer2312]

🐀👍🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@The_Gallowglass]

That's a big problem, because people have these expectations they make up in their head and when their partner doesn't meet those expectations they become resentful, abusive, or abandon them. People like to throw hints around as well, especially women. If something really bothers you, or you want something specific, just take them aside and tell them. Beating around the bush doesn't help.

[@danieldaniels7571]

I hate beating around the bush. Seriously, ladies: shave that shit off.

[@Nika-yx7mi]

Most people don’t know what they want or how to ask for it. Why? Think of your childhood. How often did your mother ask you, what do you think about that? How do you feel about that? Let’s talk about the ups and down about your day. Please express yourself. Respectably accept your requests? I appreciate your quirks. 😆😂😂 conscious parenting is a new technique.

[@kuunami]

True. Keep in mind thought that this kind of communication only works if you're dealing with a mature partner. An immature person will resent your request.

[@CRFSUIGENERIS]

Totally agree. An immature partner will not show compassion for your request (even when it's objectively valid). They will not only resent you for it, but berate your character as a defense of their superior view of themselves in the relationship. It takes a solid identity to assess the needs of another person as reasonable or not, and explain with care and love that pragmatic changes can or cannot be made to fix the problem. The most important part is respecting the need. Once flippantly dismissed, you dismiss the person- and that hurt is hard to overcome.

[@etherealcatholic5711]

You're asking Western women to be specific and emotionally mature? Hahahaha good luck on that my friend.

[@jamieholmes5443]

I adore this man. I hope he finds his way in his current struggle

[@abby4158]

What is his current struggle ?

[@jamieholmes5443]

abby kzbin.info/www/bejne/eoXadnmXarOKaM0

[@grigoryzinoviev244]

Doesn't seem like much of a white supremacist

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

So is there some secret club of dipshits who get together and all decide to use an ugly frog cartoon as their KZbin avatars, and hate the Jews? You're a bit of a joke, eh? Rather conformist!

[@georgemargaris]

Madam Smellypits , let me educate you on something: Jordan Peterson himself made a great video about this frog (Pepe) called "The Metaphysics of Pepe". You can watch it here on youtube. Look, the frog is like a mirror. It will cause different reactions in different people. You overreacting because of a mere cartoon frog immediately tells us a lot about you and your political views. That's one of the many functions of this frog: to trigger people, make them reveal themselves. People see in this Frog what they want to see in it. If you see in it a hatesymbol then it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy: you have found something you can now hate. Congratulations, lol.

[@samualwhittemore228]

Grigory Zinoviev I bet he has white sheets somewhere in his house though...yep...uh.huh...!!!that's PROOF he is a racist!!!

[@kun-san2122]

Does a real poor job of it tbh

[@kellyberry4173]

OMG...

[@hi.moriarty]

It's powerful hearing Peterson put this into words. That no matter how much good has been done we have a conditioned destructive human habit of focussing on that which is in the negative because what has been done and is positive, is no longer in our way or affecting us for the negative and this becomes invisible to us. It does bring it all back to our personal responsibility as individuals to find ways to communicate with those around us. And to realize, I think, that the majority of people are so conditioned in this previous behavior that they are blinded to the awareness of self-responsibility.

[@bunkaaa8726]

Ah man its so nice seeing the energy in this mans face. The fucking SJW situation has sapped all positivity from him. I 100% stand behind this man.

[@simonholdaway7345]

JP is amazing. A great human with a huge heart. His main objective it to help people. Especially people who will try to help themselves.

[@Najebanski]

Alright, just found myself a new mentor

[@samtavassoli5111]

Best EVER relationship advice! Simple, clear, to the point, and it absolutely makes sense

[@YoungCub]

a deviation from expectations produces a negative emotion

[@macdhomhnaill7721]

Matt Turner Read this comment just as he said it.

[@christolupo7909]

He’s one of my heroes. Helped me, saved my life. I’m not religious but I pray constantly for his health and wellness. I wish that I could give something back.

[@dtbristol]

Better than Dr. Phil by miles.

[@sid6645]

Ozzy Girl Since when was there even a damned comparison?

[@natalieboult4726]

They both have their place.

[@raylenenielsen5943]

There’s no comparison!

[@millard4303]

I dont know how many of you are trying to grab this man from the screen and give him the warmest hug ever,,, i love this intellect beyond possiblity

[@PaperweightBoxing]

I hate to say how much more life Peterson has in his eyes here. All the ruckus has to be annoying. Brilliant man.

[@mermaidman961]

My only problem with asking people to do something for me, is that if they comply I think they they're only doing it because I asked them to, and not necessarily because they want to, and that sticks in the back of my head and makes it less meaningful.

[@sebbzterNr1]

this man.... just incredible how much sense it all makes, no matter what he speaks about.

[@darl4204]

sebbzterNr1 its because he doesn't have to make it SOUND smart like Ted talkers or other idiots do by adding unnecessary blabbering he gets to the point, because the content IS smart.

[@menakamanickaraj]

He is just the most amazing guy ever! So articulate, so sensible, so smart, so honest!

[@pointcuration1278]

This man will be remembered and regarded as important as Louis Riel in terms of Canadian history. The effect of his life's work may not be completely realized for months, years, or decades, but the ideas he expresses and the method he expresses them in is profound.

[@gatogreensleeves]

One thing about reinforcements that he didn't get into (which he surely knows about) is that the most enduring kinds of positive reinforcements are ones where you recognize how much effort the person put into what they did. This is in contrast to many people's intuitive response to think that the best way to reinforce a behavior is to compliment the person in terms of innate qualities (e.g. "you're so smart/creative/strong, etc."). Recognizing their effort (when you can. Get creative) has been shown to help the person *internalize* the behavior (they come to believe that they wanted to do it, rather than or more than that they were doing it because someone else wanted them to do it). It's the same with offering rewards quantitatively. You want to find the sweet spot. Too much reward (like punishment) fosters *externalizing* the motivation (i.e. I only did it for some other reason--not that I wanted to do it). Leon Festinger (cognitive dissonance theory) did a famous study where he gave some people a lot of money for a miserable task and some people a little money for the task, but many months later, the ones who only got a little money were much more likely to think that they endured the task because they wanted to, in contrast with those who got a lot of money, who were more likely to say the task was terrible. WHY? You'd think it would be the other way around. But it's because those who got a lot of money thought they must have only done it for the money. Those who didn't get much money, in retrospect, thought the money was so little that they must have done it for some other reason, like that they enjoyed it more than they actually did. TAKE AWAY: Use the both the type/quality of reward (effort centered compliments) and quantity of reward (not too little, not too much) that inspires *internalizing the motivation*.

[@Loveburningheart]

I'm 19 and I find professor Peterson like really attractive. His courage and true compassion also adds to this.

[@pravinda333]

Your profile name makes this comment kinda awkward, doesn't it?

[@antifeminist1639]

I'm more than twice as old as you, but I'd have found him seriously attractive at any age. I'm surprised more people haven't commented on this. Personally, I think he looks more handsome (very) in his later videos, having lost some weight, and with a neater haircut; but mainly it's all that passion, courage, integrity and brilliance - as well as just being RIGHT. Put it this way: I wouldn't be sorry if I found myself sitting next to Dr Peterson at a dinner party, with the prospect of an evening's wit and repartee. Alas it's hardly likely to happen, since I don't even live on the same continent; but he's an inspiration nonetheless.

[@vasto_boy]

horny bastards

[@yanah.965]

Because if it was just an attraction to his looks the attraction wouldn't be half as strong. In fact it probably wouldn't even be worth mentioning it at all.

[@fransantelli]

look, dr. peterson is hot. his passion, wisdom, and intelligence increase his sexiness exponentially. he's a catch all the way around. what's wrong with that? i'm sure i speak for many women.

[@Cristov123]

He nailed it. A lot of people seem to forget that we are just animals at the end of the day. You can train people the exact same way you'd train a dog. You want your partner to treat you a certain way? Reward them when they do it, like Dr. Peterson said "on accident", with gratitude and reciprocation. Then they'll start to behave that way on purpose to get that appreciation from you. Works great in my own marriage. We've watched most of our friends and family go through miserable relationships and failed marriages, meanwhile we are as happy as can be and haven't even come close to a divorce.

[@colepierson9244]

It's almost sad to me to see how happy he is teaching, and to see him now on interviews and he seems so beaten down.

[@cricketboxmusic]

I come back to this video every few months. Really helped me in my relationship!

[@dumyjobby]

this video should be played at marriages

[@acespec4713]

u mean wedding bru

[@Phyoomz]

@@acespec4713 u mean bro phrend

[@deathvideos900]

Killed me

[@rises889]

what a lovely idea

[@c.c.1366]

Maybe at engagement parties, might be better (just in case).

[@mayorofthenonsense]

I love this advice because it is so damn logical and rational, and I really want to believe that this strategy would work in most male/female relationships - but I think it's very important to remember that there are times when negotiation is pointless, and you either take a different approach or walk away. In this video, he is using scheduled affection as an example, and there are multiple instances throughout his books and lectures where Jordan seems to advocate the idea that things like sex and romance can be negotiated and compromised on in a long term relationship, whereas in truth - any intimacy that comes as the result of a negotiated solution is not genuine and will never last. True desire cannot be negotiated, and trying to pretend that it can just breeds resentment. The only possible solution in this scenario (though never easy and not always possible) is to recreate genuine desire by becoming a better and more attractive person - not by simply asking and/or offering something in return. If a man wants to regain the desire of a woman, the only way he can earn it is by being an attractive man who is happy without her intimacy - telling her that he 'needs' it just kills the desire altogether. I think that if both people already have a high level of respect (and desire) for each other, then negotiating small changes in personal preferences is totally possible, but this is the distinction that Jordan fails to make. Perhaps because of his own unique experience in only having one partner who has always respected him as the successful man that he is. Most of us aren't so lucky. "Sort yourself out?" - Absolutely "State your needs and negotiate a compromise?" - Only when once you have sorted yourself out and secured the absolute respect of your partner through your actions outside of the relationship. Very important.

[@e.manuelgoldstein5034]

Everything in the video is spot on. Dr. Peterson, is showing extreme stress. I have noticed it in his other videos. He needs some time on the beach and several hummers.

[@Dmdm_dm]

true, but what can you do when he's surrounded by SJWs?

[@e.manuelgoldstein5034]

He really can't do anything about the SJW's, but prescribe them some anti-psychotic meds. I am more concerned about the doctor. He needs to take his family to some place warm, and relax, and re-energize. Hummers are a great revitaliser.

[@Dmdm_dm]

E. Manuel Goldstein True. Maybe get a job outside Canada too.

[@e.manuelgoldstein5034]

Dionys84, absolutely not!!. We need more people like Dr. Peterson, not less.

[@basedbattledroid3507]

E. Manuel Goldstein I absolutely agree, I can understand why he's stressed too. Also there would be issues from studying four decades of totalitarianism, I get why he's arguing against that registration but I think he's doing it wrong, the arguments are too aggressive and generally applicable to other matters. It's hard to explain but what I mean is he's fighting against word policing by ONLY focusing on pronouns, when there have been even more previous examples not associated with one group, so it just seems full-on. Also he shouldn't be arguing in such a way with young people because they're little shits and they won't tend to listen, he should just speak to them one-on-one, outside of protests so he's not stressed and they're not cocky. Also it's just SJWs, they want to belong to a trendy group of spurned people because it makes them look "cool", that's why they make up additional genders and get seriously militant about them, because they're not transgender and don't want to commit to becoming the opposite sex nor do they identify with being normal. They also try to hide behind politics because they're insecure, and supporting a political belief might make people like them, but also if someone remotely disagrees with them they can feel okay by exacerbating everything they say and calling them a bigot. Also pronouns are a very minor topic. I'm trans and I've been that way before it was trendy, and pronouns just aren't that important, there shouldn't be this big of a hassle over them from either the SJWs or Peterson compared to other issues, it's not safe for us to walk the streets at day or night, when trans people are murdered it is glossed over and sometimes even considered legal by courts, difficult registration processes, expensive healthcare, we've got SJWs and Caitlyn making mockeries of us every single day whilst giving off the impression that we are now privellaged and we have no toilets, I don't mean a ridiculous list of 80 genders for each toilet either, just an "other" toilet would suffice because we'd get beaten up either way. The other example I was referring to is the controversy around the "N word" and while it is a vile and horrible word, It's not as harmful as someone being shot or suffocated, yet all of the PC outrage has been at the "N word" not the recent murders. Word policing is just wrong, we need to try living in a society where we teach resiliance again, say what we please and don't assault or murder or rape anyone, or at least know when to get outraged at what.

[@lovemecom3832]

If something really bothers you, or you want something specific, just take them aside and tell them. Beating around the bush doesn’t help.

[@datofficial6062]

You missed the point

[@mickeypolouskin]

“I want you to have sex with me.” That always works. Not

[@Raskia]

@@mickeypolouskin uhh..... well if you're not direct it certainly won't.

[@mickeypolouskin]

Raskia that’s not how it works. You can’t negotiate attraction

[@Raskia]

Well, that isn't what I said ---- at all. @@mickeypolouskin

[@credenza1]

So much of this applies to employer/employer relations as well.

[@constancemccoy3144]

He's like a father figure and I'm happy to see him so happy, smiling and laughing

[@Kevin_wiIiams]

Dr. Peterson is so damn wise. I love this video.

[@lelamaciolek1166]

I've always given up when the action I've asked for is given grudgingly. It makes me feel like their mom. This video is helpful.

[@Drew-Dastardly]

This is why he is a tenured professor.

[@gamayun1224]

What a great presenter! Nice to see a person who is ACTUALLY alive and having fun.

[@kingkong5483]

I hardly know a thing about this guy but I like many of his lectures I’ve watched on here. This one was particularly enjoyable! I have no idea about what he’s been doing recently or why it is rare to see him smile and laugh in this vid!

[@U2andColdplayFan]

Is there anything this guy doesn't know on a deep, intellectual, psychological, complex level?

[@carissapenner4860]

Fuckboi and Lavacunt He's a gem. And speaking of gems, Fuckboi and Lavacunt is one of my favourite movies, right up there with The Roomba.

[@U2andColdplayFan]

lel

[@U2andColdplayFan]

Marten Dekker I'm sure you have all the answers to left just hiding in your ass, don't you? Kinda like that statistic you threw out there for no reason. Bravo, you can take a fraction from a whole, want a diploma? Fuck off.

[@thestoebz]

Fuckboi and Lavacunt hopefully just tongue in cheek on his part. Peterson has probably read more books than months the poor kid has been alive. The man is a prophetic genius of orwellian nature; genius attracts attention, including jealousy.

[@U2andColdplayFan]

he's probably just mad that a smart man isn't inherently an atheist

[@kkaterina12]

First Time ever I see this lovely man smile and be free.....

[@lordjamal4784]

I know what can work for your relationship and other spiritual problems contact me Phone number [phone] Email [e-mail] Prophet Joshua God be with you

[@Fuar11]

People need to be more direct to eachother if they want to solve each others issues.

[@maxonmendel5757]

I love JP's "oh boy" happy boi impression. It's A+

[@Red_Devil_2011]

Thanks for uploading this. Peterson is great and can always use more support.

[@wesfin]

Watch whole video. How to have a long, healthy, successful relationship (communicating truthfully) 1:56 2:39 4:20 5:40 be careful of how you are unintentionally punishing someone

[@KD-xf6kf]

For a non-behavior analyst I am super impressed by Dr Peterson's ability to explain behavior analysis! Haha

[@treetrain]

This is enjoyable on so many levels!!!! Thank you for sharing this!! Absolutely just beyond words brilliant and sincere and genuine!!

[@ellieschmitz7837]

Love it , thanks Professor Peterson you changed my life in such a positive way!! Keep up the good work going. with love and support from the Netherlands

[@ZiemniakPospolity]

It's nice I find in Prof. Petersons videos proofs, that I do certain things right in my relationship and at the same time ideas what I can improve. Really nice.

[@jordanromaker]

I fully 100% intend to use this in future relationships. Really great insight.

[@meriemcullen8510]

so im in the middle of my JBP marathon of lectures lol , hard to stop when u binge watch JBP ,,, but it seems to me that jordan was more joyful in those lecture than the one's of 2017/2018 , i don't know what happened to the good vibes in class , and what happened to his smile and laughter , sure he still brilliant and the best lecturer ever nd also he cracks some jokes once in a while , but i really feel like its a different energy , i hope from the bottom of my heart that he's alright because the world still need him

[@lamarionettebleue]

I like the way he's explaining things. He's a great teacher !

[@athief]

This is the best video I've ever seen on my whole KZbin experience, and believe me I have quite some hours to the counter. Absolutely fantastic.

[@chrismumford9206]

Man, I love this guy!

[@Phil..._]

Do your son's love him also, Mr Mumford?

[@courtneyhaubner7036]

Incredible vid! They should teach this in middle school. I know I could have used a head start on that one!

[@charlesbannon6909]

God damn man i was avoiding you cause the air around you was somewhat negative. But your so alive here. Thanks for the advice i have the worst fear of partnerships cause i dont know what to do.

[@Angrycapitalist]

GaiR BaeR Same

[@MultiLukacar]

He has such good and funny examples man. And it's really awesome seeing him in this video cuz he's so relaxed. You can see his passion for the work in his eyes. Not to speak about his work which is obviously extraodionarly awesome.

[@Sonicspeed3000]

The most concise, dense and helpful relationship advice I have heard in quite a longtime. This is what happens when you get your advice from a professional and academically trained psychiatrist.

[@101RealTalker]

Sonicspeed3000 "academically trained" is most definitely not a prerequisite to such understanding and articulation of the mind...it feels good to hear because it's something we are being reminded of rather than discovering.

[@dianag.1997]

I am so much in love with his personality and pure wisdom! He is absolutely gorgeous both inside and outside!

[@alphabetsouptoday]

I took this course way back when and he is a brilliant man. love this guy

[@kellyberry4173]

This is just wonderful. I been married 36yrs...this is so true!... just love you Dr.!

[@SmeagolTheBeagle]

I listened to you on Joe Rogans podcast. Your unique story dazzled me as do amazing videos like this . I will support you till the end.

[@dailywad4987]

What episode?

[@Gravitahn]

+Daily Wad episode #877 kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZmXaqnqBa9Bpfqc

[@mingghuiitann]

This has been the best advice i have ever received with regards to relationships. Thank you, JBP

[@christianperez7846]

I've been watching Jordan Peterson talk about SJW'S a lot lately. It's nice to see him smiling for once. Brilliant dude, btw.

[@alexcrushingap1271]

This is the most sensible video I've seen from Jordan Peterson. The other three I've watched so far have been obscurely-reasoned nonsense, but this one actually has a clear line of reasoning that is applicable to life. Thumbs up on this one at least.

[@xSwordLilyx]

Oh my god, you just explained the reason why the relationship between me and my dad is strained! He loves yelling at me when I do what he asks of me. It's the strangest thing. I cleaned the bathroom absolutely gleaming recently and it's like he's blind how little he noticed it. Completely ignored. Not even a smile. That's really not what you want in response to scrubbing a toilet, possibly the least liked chore. And the comparitive effort is miniscule. What was worse was spending four hours cleaning the kitchen near to Thanksgiving and he comes in and instead of looking around in awe and a pat on the back it was just an immediate stream of nonsense complaints. Really the sort of stuff that forces you to wave away thoughts of how satisfying it would be to hit them. It juxtaposed negatively with my little sister coming home, her jaw dropping, and commenting on a job well done. Snark about me doing dishes for a change (I do dishes all the time, and if I don't, I don't leave them somewhere to mold in favor of bringing them immediately to the kitchen, I just prefer doing *my* dishes and I never wash hot dishes for fear of burning myself or to eat my food hot), snark about not loading the dishwasher when I don't because I am so garbage at it it's not even worth it and it makes me miserable to do. Why are you getting the floor all wet! It's called mopping, dad. Look, I got all the edges you usually miss so your feet don't get sticky. Don't sweep underneath the table! Why are you using a brand new sponge on the floor! I'm not, dad, it's one of the gross old ones from under the sink. Complaints about how much soap I use, 'right' and 'wrong' ways to do things, etc. If you want it done your way, do it yourself. Of course you'll then bitch about having to do it yourself. Really wasn't even listening. I don't care he's upset with me because he always is, given any input. I never actually do anthing wrong, mostly just forget things really, or do things I wasn't told not to, so I have no reason to feel bad if he yells at me. That goes even more to my sister, who, a narcissist, has an absolute penchant for reprimanding. The things she will yell at you for don't ever make sense! I don't even bother responding in any fashion half the time. All you can think is, jeez, man, what will it take to make you happy? Is there anything I can do to get you to say 'thank you' just the one time? I've explained to him how that makes me not want to do it just to spite him and he doesn't get it. He'd be so mad at me if I did the same to him, yelling at him for making me pancakes for dinner when I asked him to or something. I really blame his mom, though. I know how much your childhood affects you mentally. She hasn't appreciated anything verbally in her entire life, worst grandma ever. I don't know if she was otherwise but just the way she talks to people is abusive.

[@quantumaxe6468]

story of my life. getting old and getting out is the only solution. then they start feeling sorry.

[@cleopatrawaswhite4285]

If you are lucky they will start feeling sorry. Good luck

[@karaa7595]

SwordLily you need to know how to do these things for yourself anyway, so now clean that kitchen and bathroom for YOU. One day you'll be a parent and you'll have to teach your child how to clean but also be an example to them by cleaning. You're learning invaluable life lessons so there IS a point. Try to let go of the need of receiving gratitude from your dad for doing these things. I had a similar experience when i became a stay at home mom and my husband wouldn't notice what I had done and managed to point out what I didn't get to (because I had a baby/toddler). So now I clean for myself and to be a good example to my son and I get him involved in the cleaning per his age level. My husband now acknowledges the cleaning more because we talked about it, but I no longer need this from him. It's just a bonus.

[@thatguy9211-q8o]

Jordan is proof to me, that words can have astounding power , for good or otherwise. His videos have all amazed me.

[@Jacky-Boy]

"Not helpful, cause they're stupid!" Gained a like hahaha

[@truthseeker803]

my partner was trying to change and was changing gradually, but I pushed her hard and only noticed what's not been achieved, then she wasn't feeling good.. she finally came forward and dr Jordan was right, since she told me it's hard to change quickly and she's trying but she's the silent type person. But now things are getting better.. and before even watching the video i started to ignore the small negative thing and praise the positives.. Hell guys it works, YOU WILL HAVE SO MUCH HAPPINESS.. BUT IT TAKES SO MUCH PATIENCE.. GOOD LUCK.. AND GUESS WHAT YOU, YOURSELF IS NOT PERFECT..

[@ChanelleFT]

I wish he was my professor . I'd love to meet him. I'm in Toronto, so hopefully I run into him lol

[@maryschultz741]

I love this guy, just discovered him. Blessings, peace & love to you, sir!

[@alexbenzie6585]

Jordan you are a modern day hero.

[@SarahVision]

Love this... love the reward concept... and how he talks realistically about the length of time it takes for couples to form new ways of being with each other. The train each other concept is lovely 😊