The Best Way to Handle Negative Emotions

The Best Way to Handle Negative Emotions
--------------------
The best way to get up to speed on my concepts surrounding pain and getting well can be found on my Getting Started page at: www.PainFreeYo...
If you'd like some help on your road to recovery, check out my online course and group coaching program. PainFreeYou.com... - Hope to see you in the program.
Not a KZbin subscriber yet? Please subscribe so you don't miss any of the videos. Check out the video archive here: / painfreeyou
If you'd like to make a donation to support my efforts and free daily videos, you can do that here: paypal.me/DanB...
Want to join my private Facebook Group? Come join us here:
/ painfreeyounow

[@Inge508]

I don’t consider my emotions as negative anymore! They are just emotions..Emotions I could never express in my childhood or later life because it was dangerous at that time. Today I’m following you for exactly 2 years Dan ! I’m not free from pain but I’ve moved to a safe place in my heart to deal with everything that seemed ‘ undealable’! I also have taken the responsibility for things I might have down wrong in the past which allows me to let go of the injustice from what some people did to me. I also used my empathy to imagine how those who harmed me, must feel now .( or did then) I have evolved from very traumatized person to a happy balanced one. Time for me to take the next step in living larger and leaving my chronic - ill - identity behind me! I’m sure my body will follow, I’m not in a hurry! In the 19 years of dealing with all of this , these last 2 years finding you , learning and interaction with you and others, was a god sent! Thanks from the bottom of my heart Dan! Wishing you a blessed coaching and private life, full of love! I will always root for you and your channel ❤

[@PainFreeYou]

Thank you again Inge for your never ending support of me and my work. And again for consistently sharing your journey with me and the others here. Always thoughtful. Always honest. Always wonderful. Thank you for being you.

[@nancyrussell6598]

COULDN'T AGREE MORE WITH YOU DAN ABOUT INGE. SHE IS A STRONG AND GENTLE SPIRIT.@@PainFreeYou

[@RiaandBobby]

Thank you for a great daily wisdom on emotions, Dan. It made me appreciate that I have been storing my emotions to the point of them coming out as an outburst. Like the other day when I took the dog for a vet check up. Vet said an eye ulcer. He poked and prodded in dog’s eye. When vet was done, the dog was spot on expressing how he felt, he run as far as he could from the vet, shook off and howled. I on the other hand kept it all in until later that evening when I burst into tears sobbing about my dog’s vet experience. Something to be learnt from animals for sure.

[@LilyOscar333]

Dan I do believe that trapped emotions are the cause of a lot of illness and pain. I understand that John Sarno recommended journaling to his patients, in addition, to getting back to all activity. I have found journaling and crying 😭 very helpful in eliminating by back pain. I now don’t think about those old negative emotions/traumas anymore 🙏 they are dealt with. Now working with an injury and in addition to my rehab work I am also sending messages of safety to my brain and journaling. I find it’s good to get those negative thoughts about my injury down on paper and let them go. Thanks Dan 💚

[@PainFreeYou]

Excellent - thank you for sharing your experience and insight.

[@sarah430]

Helpful as usual! I believe you were the one that said “ They’re called feelings not thinkings”. That has really helped me to get out of my head and truly feel my emotions instead of ruminating.

[@PainFreeYou]

Haha - yep. I did say that.

[@bethfowler4473]

Love it! Feel the "now" emotion. No need to rehash the story, the old trauma!

[@kelsangzopa6727]

Thanks again Dan! I would like to add that eventually, following your advice, the adult conversation you refer to can also involve emotion, even intense emotion. I have done lots of work in my lifetime accepting and feeling my emotions and have experienced intense emotion arising with others present. I'm at a stage where it's "almost impossible" for me to not cry if I am deeply moved. I have found that because of my deep acceptance of this, that others around me usually also accept what I'm going through. In one case, I could see that the other person was somewhat uncomfortable but I accepted that and my emotion relaxed because it had already been expressed and I was free to pursue the conversation with that person. I'm bringing this up because I would like to open the conversation to the possibility that expressing emotions need not always be "just with myself" and that once we fully are safe with our emotions we need not fear expressing them, in a responsible manner of course, in the presence of others. Many of those who know us well can feel we are not "dumping" our baggage on them and so do not become defensive when we express our emotions in their presence, but rather become empathetic and very present.

[@nicoleurdang4909]

The first step in feeling an emotion is naming it. Naming it decreases its power and intensity. Emotions are normal, and they can feel scary. Paradoxically, moving towards the feeling, rather than away from it can feel safer.

[@nataliemarie8942]

I view emotions as feedback and our guidance system- they can be there to tell us a need we need to meet ourselves or communicate, or a boundary we need to have, or a decision to make so I think the key is to sit with the emotion and feel the sensation and allow it space to be present without the story, but I think its equally important to then take the action needed ie in the form of healthy communication or whatever it may be. And to know that healthy communication is safe- often its not what we say but how we say it- respond rather than react :)

[@adrianabearzi2006]

Just in time to realize that emotions are OK 😅! Thank you ❤

[@acceleratorulz4105]

Great video as always.. But I think it would be better if you explain the "how". How do you feel these emotions to yourself in safe space and release them? Is it journalling? Is it private crying? Is it screaming in anger in your car? What is your take on it?

[@1STBUCKLEY]

Think we all find our way. Journal, crying Etc

[@kelsangzopa6727]

Accept the resistance. Wish for it to happen without an expected timeline. Relax and observe how it evolves. You're creating new habits. Resistance is normal.

[@PainFreeYou]

There is no "right way" to feel. Have you ever been angry? Do that. Ever been sad? Do that. There's no proper way. Sit with it allow the feeling to wash over you.

[@karped892]

For me it helps to observe how the emotions feels in my body (if you get what I mean) when I ”sit” in my emotion. That helps me to not get caught up in the story

[@1egmont]

Thanks Dan. Once again your common sense rules the day. Cheers man!

[@PainFreeYou]

Thank you.

[@leannemcgurk8523]

Thank you Dan, I needed this tonight. Bless you 🙏😊

[@PainFreeYou]

You are so welcome

[@Bachconcertos]

I dont know how to disappate the rage. I dont like having all this rage. I dont know how to get rid of it. I feel my rage all the time. I rarely scream at anyone - i do myself to feel rage when i am alone as i am usually alone - perhaps i am judging myself for having rage

[@richoneplanet7561]

I was fairly surprised the significant decrease in anxiety when I started taking blood pressure medication. It seriously decreased anxiety and anger. I was really surprised because high blood pressure is the silent killer which suggests there are not symptoms. Not in my case. Just a thought.

[@thelaceygirl]

In my experience, you have to just keep feeling it until it passes. It took me about a year, honestly. But I feel so much better now.

[@claresmith9261]

I think questioning the thoughts with the work of Byron Katie and yes your last sentence is probably the key , rage is a very natural emotion we all have don’t feel guilty for having it Bringing the emotions into the body helps me, like Dan I put my hands on my chest and tummy, there’s something about bringing the emotions into the body that helps dissipate them I love using Dans mantra I’m safe or my mothers alls well, the universe is holding you ❤

[@johncorso3721]

I agree. You are perfectly entitled to ALL your rage. It is perfectly normal and feeling judgmental or guilty about having rage is like feeling guilty about being hungry. But if you’re here, with Dan and his community, you also have access to the sophisticated tools to manage them constructively and effectively. But I wouldn’t expect the rage to ever vanish because it’s a part of us. But with persistence in this community, you can become a ninja at handling them. Good luck!

[@PainFreeYou]

if you are feeling the rage and it is not passing, are you perhaps stuck on the stories behind the emotion? Do you often think of all the reasons to be enraged? That can keep the emotion being created over and over again.

[@jayeshtalpade4426]

Hey Dan, so I was 37 on the TMS scale when I did the test. This was 2 months ago. So I started watching my symptoms when they happened (tough job) like dizziness, racing heart pulse, blurry vision, lack of balance, intestinal issues, vertigo, migraine headaches, panic attacks…and then I started watching your videos, practicing mindfulness (heard Eckhart Tolle) and I actually felt better. And then last week I lost an aunt (she was ailing for 4 years, so her passing was a blessing), went for another funeral, and was told that a classmate of mind passed away due to a sudden heart attack. A doctor who happened to be around to check up on my dad, at random checked my BP, and it was through the roof and he’s put me on anti BP meds immediately. The BP came under check immediately. But over the last two days I've been getting dizziness, indigestion, vertigo at various times and severe panic. You said emotions buried cause this, but I'm not burying any emotions now, I acknowledge the sadness or fear or whatever emotion I'm going through. But the symptoms put me into a panic, and I really think that I'm dying. It is really frightening for me. And I don’t know what to do because this comes up without any apparent immediate trigger, when I'm at work, or driving. And at that time the vertigo, migraine, dizziness or fear are really extremely real and traumatic.....my work is quite hampered because of this…..my concern is that I was doing quite well before last week and here I am now, worse than before and fearing heart disease and all other life threatening illnesses…..what do I do?

[@PainFreeYou]

Perceived danger is what is turning on the symptoms. Fear and attention to the symptoms are what causes them to keep showing up. Watch my fast start playlist over and over. It will help you gain a deeper understanding of what is going on and what to do about it. kzbin.info/aero/PLRJmnkn2kTTIl4frNvmpenr49xcTmVl2H

[@jayeshtalpade4426]

Thanks Dan@@PainFreeYou I went through the list, and I got all that about perceived pain symptoms. These however are actual symptoms, not perceptions. Like my heart beat actually goes up, the BP is actually elevated, the vision is actually blurry...and about my symptoms being about managing fear, I get that. When the symptom arises, without any warning, I am not going through any repressed emotions or sadness or whatever trigger causes it. I'm having a normal, in fact an almost perfect day, and suddenly the symptom raises its fearful head, and before you know it, the day has gone into being a nightmare in a matter of moments. I wanted some clarification...whenever the symptom like a high BP or a racing heartbeat, or fear of dying comes up shall I just internally address that part which is causing this and tell it that relax, its ok, just be with it and it will subside, you arent going to die? Will that work?

[@PainFreeYou]

The symptoms are REAL. The danger the brain is perceiving is not. Yes, your blook pressure or heart rate goes up due to fear. The playlist I shared with you earlier has videos teaching how to respond. Watch the playlist. @@jayeshtalpade4426

[@infinitepossibilities337]

These are all anxiety symptoms. Your nervous system has become sensitized due to stress/fear. You don’t have to feel anxious to feel physical anxiety symptoms. And you’re experiencing health anxiety on top of it because you’re fearing the symptoms are more serious than they are. I struggled with the exact same thing. Apart from Dan, I’d recommend Shaan Kassam’s youtube channel. It preaches very similar things to Dan but focuses on it through an anxiety lens. It saved my life.

[@Stephanie-yu4cn]

Also you know there’s side effects to BP medication, could some of the things your feeling be from that?

[@1STBUCKLEY]

Broken sleep and then woke up with stomach issues. Have got out, whilst driving tight head sensations. Overthinking its a brain haemorrhage! Omg my imagination is running wild. Shoulders so tight so I'm telling myself it's tension. I had to head back nearer to my home. I think I've let go of so much stuff but I reckon I could still cry buckets . I don't even need to try and find the "story" I know deep down there is stuff I can't solve Sat in my car crying. Feck this is so draining. I know it too will pass but..... Note to self " buy more tissues"🙄🤔😂

[@michellem.m.1477]

I hear you ❤

[@maryamighi6834]

I also hear you. I overthink many things and have hard time letting go esp when in fear mode (False Evidence Appearing Real). Today was just a lifey day...tomorrow the sun comes out. ☺️

[@susanogami-vancamp6019]

Thanks, Dan. Very clear and helpful advice. I have been listening to you for awhile now and followed that advice just the other day when I felt hurt by something my husband said. I shared with him that I felt sad and hurt and took a few minutes to feel the emotion. I didn’t need to leave his presence as he is aware that I do this now. The emotion did dissipate and we were able to speak calmly and hear each other with understanding. I do notice that symptoms are gradually lessening. 😊

[@PainFreeYou]

Wonderful. Love to hear that.

[@rajrana4850]

I like this, but I’ve been letting myself become aware of childhood emotions, and am letting myself feel and process these in private too. This has made me much less reactive in the present. Which in turn has lessened pain. So for me, going back into the distant past has proved extremely beneficial.

[@PainFreeYou]

wonderful

[@sallylambeth5313]

I see other people saying the same how to dissipate the rage politely without affecting or someone hearing or stopping it it's not pleasant for myself

[@jenniferbauer3408]

So amazing thanks Dan! We all appreciate you greatly!! This is so on point.

[@PainFreeYou]

My pleasure!!

[@karped892]

Thankyou for this Dan! ❤

[@crashkahuna]

Good stuff here. This kind of goes back to what Eckhart Tolle said - any deep unresolved emotions will come out in the present day and we can work on that in the present. I also agree there is for sure a time where 'an adult conversation' is need like with a therapist where old shame and guilt thoughts are always intruding. I have been cutting back on my regular journaling but do find it helpful when stuck in ruminating thoughts. I like your common sense approach. Some mind body techniques can add to the stress.

[@PainFreeYou]

Agree completely.

[@merildo]

I’m trying to write my emotions. Because I need to share. But have no one to share with. Hope it works

[@sallylambeth5313]

Almost uncontrollable urge to throw things and I have wonderful husband very blessed to have everything I need financially et cetera but no I do have a structural back problem but no good answer for it

[@maryamighi6834]

Dan good topic! I do get caught up in the stories so that was helpful. Where I am having problems is that when I try to sleep (which has been elusive for months) or lie down hoping to rest even during day my past traumas come "unbidden" to my mind and they are disturbing to me and cause me more anxiety as I am already hyper-stimulated for past several months with pain, spasms, digestive issues and muscle atrophy from lack of use due to previous mentioned. Any suggestions as to how to put an end to this would be helpful. I am not asking for them to come to mind they just do and don't know how come. Lord knows I need more hope that I will get better right now.

[@1STBUCKLEY]

Maybe you need to cry and not beat yourself up. Not a great place to be, hope you can find your way out.

[@maryamighi6834]

@@1STBUCKLEY For some reason I can't even cry and I want to. I do blame myself for getting myself to this point and so do others tell me same. Thank you for caring to reply.

[@PainFreeYou]

You cannot stop them from coming, but how you decide to respond is key. kzbin.info/www/bejne/d2e9Z36FbMdjoqc

[@debbieroso8749]

How do you keep from being frustrated with symptoms after having them for 2 decades ?

[@PainFreeYou]

If you have made progress, focus on that, not the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. It's okay to be frustrated, but feel it so you can let it go. If you are feeling it all the time, rumination on the story may be creating that feeling over and over again.

[@rebeccaledam7544]

Thank you Dan for everything you share ❤ I'm wondering how to be with severe anxiety attacks? To me anxiety/fear is so much more difficult than let's say anger or sadness, it feels more undefined somehow. I'm afraid of feeling fear and anxiety, and after a plant medicine session almost a year ago the anxiety has been worse than ever before (it did calm down after 8 months, but still is there sometimes). Any thoughts on that? Thank you 🙏❤️

[@PainFreeYou]

Begin considering anxiety as NOT being a problem to solve. I know that sounds counter-intuitive. Anxiety is just another symptom coming from a brain perceiving danger. Teach your brain you are safe and the anxiety can fade away. But don't try to fix the anxiety as that just puts more focus on the anxiety. Check out my fast start playlist for more on what is going on and what to do about it. dansfaststart.com/

[@rebeccaledam7544]

@@PainFreeYou Thank you so much Dan for your reply, I greatly appreciate it! ❤️🙏

[@swgeek4310]

I have done a great job repressing a lot of emotions for decades. I have known it for years and "express your emotions" meant nothing and I am still a ways off from figuring it out.

[@PainFreeYou]

If you have symptoms, my fast start playlist will help for sure. Watch these over and over. kzbin.info/aero/PLRJmnkn2kTTIl4frNvmpenr49xcTmVl2H

[@sallylambeth5313]

But what if the emotion the frustration whatever it is anger requires a loud response of vocal loud response a cry a scream a crossword this is the dilemma for me with chronic pain and frustration of not being able to drive and work

[@pramodsharma7284]

Yes i always cry in the front of god, frusted by emotiions angry to cercumstances ,the people. But there is only way accept accept and allow these emotions to paas out pls keep calm prctise after practis you theach these are only nusense . The symtoms the feeling the emotions and the thoughts are make you fool.

[@Jsanata]

I have this horrid situation... binge eating has caused my nervous system to go into intense fight or flight. Feels like my nervous system perceives food as a threat..so fight or flight all day. Hard to have safe spaces for it all. Wonder what you would do?

[@PainFreeYou]

Begin to tell yourself a better story. Your brain is a learning machine. Choose what you give it to learn. kzbin.info/www/bejne/rqWlpmOmZrB4sNE And... If you haven't seen it yet, check out my fast start playlist. It will help you understand what is going on and what to do about it. DansFastStart.com

[@clairebaker2314]

When I have a bad day, is it ok to cry about the pain?

[@Creationhorse]

What about when I'm feeling afraid? Should I stop and feel that for a while? Rather than brush it off?

[@PainFreeYou]

Feel any emotion that is coming up. But try not to live in that fear all day. If you are living in fear all day, you may be stuck on the story behind the fear. KNOW you are well. This fast start playlist will give you a deeper insight to what is going on and what to do about it. kzbin.info/aero/PLRJmnkn2kTTIl4frNvmpenr49xcTmVl2H

[@Creationhorse]

@@PainFreeYou I've listened to about half or more of the Fast Start. I'm trying to focus on the 24 tips for safety. I had a couple better days but then the sound of people's voices, or me trying to speak, is escalating symptoms. Listening to some if your videos where you stop your calm voice, to illustrate someone getting up set.. I get an onset of symptoms that don't want to leave. So, it's been 2 days of big abdominal blimp, just from Listening to someone on the phone twice. Hearing to much stuff, rapid talking, too much input. These are triggers. Getting more fearful.

[@PainFreeYou]

When the brain feels more safe, these reactions will become less and less intense. How you respond when they happen can help to settle them down as well. Try not to be afraid of the automatic response. @@Creationhorse

[@nicoleprue1295]

I've been watching your posts out of order but I'm concerned...are you speaking of a new acronym for ECT??

[@PainFreeYou]

No I am not. A good way to get a foundation on my concepts is to watch my fast start playlist. DansFastStart.com

[@8aNda1d]

🤚❤😊

[@throttletorque8837]

Hi dan. Have you ever heard of incidental findings of disk herniations or intrusion in kids?

[@PainFreeYou]

Anything is possible. It's rarely heard about because kids rarely have MRI's of their spines unless something is wrong. Adults have way more MRI's than kids.

[@tonyfletcher1718]

Not sure if frustration is an emotion. I suppose it leads to anger. Im not sure how to feel it. I am feeling both these right now after another sleepless night of pain. Sitting here trying to feel the emotion but dont no how to really do that.

[@PainFreeYou]

If you sense frustration, you ARE feeling it. Allow yourself to feel it without questioning "how" you are experiencing it. Just allow it till it starts to dissipate. No judgement. No story behind the frustration or anger. Just feel.

[@violetbrinkman7161]

Is anxiety an emotion? Thank you

[@PainFreeYou]

Yes, sort of. Underlying that is fear. Anxiety is the bodily sensation of stress hormones in our body often accompanied by anxious thinking. Anxiety is just another "symptom" coming from a brain perceiving danger. Teach the brain you are safe and the anxiety can fade away. This fast start playlist will give you a deeper insight to what is going on and what to do about it. kzbin.info/aero/PLRJmnkn2kTTIl4frNvmpenr49xcTmVl2H

[@violetbrinkman7161]

@@PainFreeYou thank you.🤗

[@nicoleprue1295]

I apologize, I'm watching videos out of order and without prior knowledge and research so I mean no disrespect.