The Childs Response To The Narcissistic Parent

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If you've experienced narcissistic abuse, you may feel like you're dealing with lasting damage to your mental health. Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling powerless, confused, and deeply hurt. But there is hope for healing and recovery. In this video, we'll explore the brain damage caused by narcissistic abuse and show you how to reverse its effects.
Check out my website where you can contact me to talk about one-to-one coaching and therapy - www.carolinestrawson.com
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I look forward to helping you on your journey to not just survive after narcissistic abuse but THRIVE
Love Caroline Strawson xoxo
#NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #Narcissist

[@lisablack1280]

My heart is hurting hearing this. My family is broken and this really helps me understand what is going on. This is not just happening to me, it’s happening to my kids and I- all. Thank you for your message. Please keep doing what you do! We need your words

[@Ann-kp3qu]

❤ I divorced from my narcisstic husband 16 years ago and have parallel parented our only child. Two weeks ago my son started college at a small private Christian university. My son is an hour away so he has some freedom to grow and blossom and follow faith not fears. I have broken contact with my Jezebel narcissistic mother. My father passed away a horrible death of Parkinson’s I believe fully brought on by my mother. I have lupus, fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, migraines that battle me daily. I have watched this and one other video in series . Excellent analogy. I want better for my son and I have done , I think, what’s needed. My father was not strong enough to break from my mother and then explained away her evilness. We do need to take care of ourselves, then be that safe place for our children or groups like this and say, You are not crazy, you are worthy, you deserve happiness and that whoever is watching you will see your light and come out of the darkness and heal ! And I must add please, if you are not a believer in God maybe because of what you have been through, be strong, trust in God, & yourself… then watch your world change for the better. It will be muddy, but maybe your kids can get free sooner than we are trying to catch up those lost years. Kindness and Grace I leave to you all, Annie ❤

[@MotleyShrew-iz9ms]

TY ❤for taking the time to write this. It really helped me. God bless you.

[@StaceyHeathxoxo]

Thank you for this video. This is what I go through with my children. I hate trying to deal with the ex narc.

[@rahmafarah5057]

This explains my situation exactly! But now I understand why

[@maryannzapata6927]

Thank you for this explanation. This makes so much sense. My oldest, I think is bouncing from the top to the middle and my youngest is going from the bottom to the middle. I know he is freezing when he is with his father and I see the anxiety fully manifested when I get him back. They are at the top when they are with me but I instantly see my youngest drop right back down to the bottom when were driving to the drop off spot. Now I need to find ways to keep them at the top. It's difficult when I myself am barely hanging on too.

[@MotleyShrew-iz9ms]

Praying you continued strength 💪 and ♥️ so much love coming from your precious children and for them to be lifted up so high by your love. You loved them so much, you found the strength to leave the toxic abuse. One day when they're grown up, they may understand all of this. But right now, you're already on the right track safeguarding their hearts. Children's therapy is amazing and helps so much. And in most schools it is provided for free thru counselors. Give it a try. All I had to do was sign an affidavit saying that I was allowing my daughter to be approached for 1 on 1 time with a counselor, who will get to know your child 1st thru trust exercises, and I made sure I talk to my girl beforehand to make certain she knew she could and was encouraged to speak freely in her sessions, even if that meant taking anything that I myself do that bothers upsets, or effects her negatively as well as her malignant grandiose narcissistic father. We would meet every other week with me present & I get reports from the counselor. But her father doesn't receive them at all. Hugs to you. You're doing a great job little mommy! Stay strong 💪

[@mariamtohamy7154]

OH MY GOD! Caroline you have falling to me from the sky. Thank you 💖

[@katebenedetti6220]

This work is vital. Thank you 🙏

[@amarensvanzwol3685]

Thanks for this video, very informative!!!

[@jasmineburnet9657]

The message in your video is clear, digestible, and so relevant. Thank you so much for sharing!

[@amandacurtiss8759]

Wow...this is my exact situation. I am so grateful I found this video...explains so much!

[@merrilynmoynihan9415]

Thank you. This is genuinely helpful.

[@deadwood-jq7fw]

Thank you for the insight It also explains the current issues a little too because by the child staying higher up the ladder the narcissistic parent is feeled threatened and feel a need to separate me with my child to regain the control.

[@erikawithee]

Thank you so much for this It has been nothing but pure hell coparenting with this narcissist he wasn’t nothing good for my son to just get me to hurt It’s horrible

[@divinelychosen5554]

Wow! You just shade light on a particular behaviour by using the ladder example. This is what am experiencing..eratic behaviour at home.

[@remaininganonymous4129]

My ex is always telling me our 4 year old son is great for him. He even said he doesn't cry, kick off or have tantrums. I replied 'oh so he doesn't act like a 4 year old when he's with you' yet I still blame myself! It's infuriating!

[@JustAmyKay]

Same. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It was 2 years ago, but I imagine it’s not any better.

[@angelmeade6927]

Can you please do another one of these but with my situation. My grandfather was a narcissist and mentally abused me and my mom allowed it and made him a king. Now my oldest son and I are estranged because of my mom

[@Imoenn]

I would also say that validating them is key, let them know they're enough as they are. I grew up in a narcissistic father (maybe mother) and it has taken me years to finally get that self worth and say enough is enough. I don't see my mother anymore because she would always say things like "Well he's your dad." "You know what he's like." and nothing would be done. I used to think that having a mum and dad together was a good thing but, it really isn't when it's like this, to have a father figure in your life is better than having a father who feels comfortable in abusing you.

[@jackilynpyzocha662]

Dad still expects me to kiss his ass. That isn't happening. I am not in contact with him. I am an adult and deserve a better father!

[@lkw80]

My kids are struggling so badly, this situation is hell.

[@RosieLulu912]

MY husband says this EVERY time my girls spend the time alone with them. Interesting!!!!!

[@dianathomas1025]

My mother has always doubted my love yet I’m the only one who works towards having any kind of relationship. I was about 8 when she told me she knew I loved my father more than her. And when we argue now she still says she doesn’t think I love her. Well hell, I’m 49 & have never abandoned her. Not that it hasn’t crossed my mind. But I would never because that’s not who I am. But she sure makes me want to all the time. I dont know what to do. I’m damned if I do & damned if I don’t. @Caroline Strawson.

[@dianathomas1025]

My mother always tried to change me as a child & even now. Nothing I ever did was right. She was always trying to change me. And she loves to use her religion against me. She’s not very Christian like treating me the way she has her entire life.

[@dianathomas1025]

@CarolineStrawson, do you have any videos on adults dealing with a narcissistic parent??

[@oliviacampbell9675]

Thanks for this video. It’s so hard dealing with a narcissist ex. My 7 year old doesn’t want to go anymore but Wr have a court order in place

[@charmaynerobinson8678]

Same!

[@oliviacampbell9675]

I’ve now had to stop contact due to my son disclosing to me that my narc ex has been abusing him emotionally and physically 😓

[@oliviacampbell9675]

@traceyroper did it go through court?

[@oliviacampbell9675]

I’m so sorry to hear about your experience and thanks for sharing that with me. It must be so hard for you. My children are young, my eldest is 7 and I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old. It’s been so hard dealing with my ex as well as trying not to show my children that inside I’m completely broken. Every day is a struggle for me but to everyone in the outside I look like I’m in control. Although I stopped direct contact between the kids and my ex I continued with FaceTime contact but he uses this as a tool to make digs and undermine me. It’s really getting to me and now I’ve decided I’m no longer letting the kids FaceTime. It’s just too much. I will wait for the court to decide what’s best taking into consideration everything.

[@oliviacampbell9675]

Some brilliant advice which I will definitely take. Today is a particularly bad day for me. I’m very tearful but trying to be brave for my children. I have been recording the FaceTime calls but I will now be stopping the calls due to him still continuing to abuse via FaceTime even though part of the court order is that he is to speak positively and in the best interest of the children. He’s just an awful person. My son is petrified of him ans refers to him as the “angry man” the last time he had the children 2 of my children came back with bruises. My son refuses to tell me how he got them ans says he doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s just a nightmare at the moment. I just want peace in my life. At the moment I feel very broken.

[@steveadiska6834]

Do you have a diagram for this ladder? It is an excellent visual.

[@steveadiska6834]

Do you a store or sell T-shirts like you are wearing??

[@milicajovicic2622]

❤

[@phoenixpayne295ify]

Would love subtitles

[@joanieks3945]

Hi Caroline. What are the long term issues children have? My grown up son suffers from anxiety. Is it all connected? Thank you.

[@CarolineStrawsonHealing]

It could be. It’s being there for him and empowering him to feel the control in his life

[@joanieks3945]

@@CarolineStrawsonHealing I think your right. Do you still offer individual sessions Caroline? Thank you.

[@CarolineStrawsonHealing]

I’m just doing one to one Narcissistic Trauma Unlocking Intensives which is like 18 months of therapy in 10 days!!! Drop me an email if you’d like info [e-mail]

[@joanieks3945]

@@CarolineStrawsonHealing Ok, thank you. I will message you this evening.

[@louiseelizabeth9613]

Yes, but how do we do that? Especially with not telling them their parent is a narc / bad mouthing the other parent ... Role model at home, for sure, talk about emotions etc, but that still doesn't seem to be enough sometimes 😑

[@CarolineStrawsonHealing]

Just keep going because it will be enough as they get older