The Cult Classic Mall-Goth Simulator: A Beautiful Disaster

[@reeree488]

“i used to be gay, but now im fine” -tyler youtube crustbag

[@CynicalMartian]

Also the LAPD shooting you dead for trespassing is 100% realistic

[@benejack666]

As the saying goes, whenever Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines is mentioned, somebody somewhere else in the world re-installs it.

[@benejack666]

I guess I should also add, for newer players, that a lot of the Malkavian lines, pay off, after you've played first as another clan.

[@sarahhyden3424]

I reinstalled it earlier this week and searching for vtmb stuff about the Giovanni mansion actually brought me here somehow. 🤣

[@dopey473]

I call that the F.E.A.R. effect

[@kirarxse8893]

I feel like I'm being watched, i literally JUST reinstalled it bc of this video

[@bodyheat1990]

​@@dopey473originally it was the Deus Ex effect 😂

[@CynicalMartian]

I picked malkavian my first time and got into an argument with a stop sign. 10/10 masterpiece

[@pyroshadow]

Same. and arguments with the TV

[@elios7623]

that's the spirit

[@Draqer]

Man i have played Malkavian 2 or three times and i still find out about wierd discussions you can have.

[@swankmank]

Bloodlines was made on serious time constraints too vtmb still has some of the best character writing to this day the contrast between nines and lacroix in their ideology and methods is absolutely beautiful bloodlines could be one of the best games if they where actually supported by Activision they could have made so much money

[@AccoSpoot]

Best moment in gaming.

[@battypumpkin]

Being a person who's been utterly obsessed with VtMB since the year 2014 and yet somehow still hasn't managed to convince a single person to play it, this video is just balm to my soul.

[@Ryan-vw5ul]

I think the reason more games don't have built in typing is because of consoles. Typing using a controller is usually pretty tedious. More PC RPG's need to incorporate it though.

[@crustbag]

Oooh that's a great point! I didn't think about that!

[@johannesviiiart6574]

I had to pause the video at "you can buy a baton... AND ESTROGEN" cause I was crying

[@knightofsolice1304]

With Snuff Is Enough - the "Demons" aren't demons, they're fleshcrafted monstrosities (that were/are humans) made by the Tzimisce. The Tzimisce are a clan that has access to the 'Vicissitude' discipline, which basically entirely revolves around being able to sculpt flesh and bones. Tzimisce kindred are basically really fucked up plastic surgeons who are known for turning people into some combination of chairs, horrible flesh creature minions (szlachta and vozhd), or some combination thereof. In the TTRPG, they are *super* fun to play if you're in a Sabbat chronicle. A friend did a Sabbat one-shot a while back and I - of course - played a Tzimisce. The Chronicle's story was essentially that the Sabbat wanted to spread their influence to New Orleans, and we were the pack of Cainites chosen to do so. My character was a former French resistance fighter & medic during WW2. During the chronicle, our coterie was ambushed and staked by hunters - and we were dumped in a meat locker to be experimented upon by the hunters. Earlier during the chronicle, she used vicissitude to move her heart to the opposite side it usually is. The hunters *obviously* didn't know that, so she was able to fake the effects of being staked, and once dumped in the locker, she unstaked her coterie. I had taken the merit "Promethean Clay" which removed the need to physically sculpt alterations, which allowed her to insert her finger to the door's keyhole and use it as a key. During the escape, she turned her left hand into a bludgeon of bone, and knocked out a hunter, who her gang kidnapped (and she later ghouled). By the end of the Chronicle, her coterie had ousted most of the Camarilla and Anarchs in New Orleans, and she was established as the Archbishop of the city. She also managed to remove her entire circulatory system and merge into the walls of her pack's haven (which by the end of the chronicle was the basement of a cathedral).

[@Fohogoroh]

Was going to throw in just that info :D

[@Cymricus]

for people who are used to newer rpgs and the notion of being “soft locked” like you said you were in the second quest: this game is purposefully designed to have multiple paths in quests. if you are a strength build, there will be a pipe you can break that others won’t be strong enough for - that’s your path. if you’re a hacker, the same quest may also have a terminal to hack to open an entirely different door. seducers can talk the doorman into moving. it truly is designed like a real tabletop RPG and you may not be as soft locked as it seems. there is no “right way” for quests. in other words, you won’t be able to go everywhere always. not as one character.

[@AClockworkCitrus]

I actually just started playing this game for the first time last night, got Malkavian and bum called me a bitch for saying "I am the biggest pig, but can't spare you anything" lmao. 10/10 experience so far.

[@Blooodhail]

I’ve always known Tyler was attractive, but for some reason looks extra attractive here. Really solid editing, I can tell you worked really hard on this.

[@shaeorsuch]

Vampire Masquerade Bloodlines just makes you hotter, 100% guaranteed to work. I promise. Try it. This is not a plug.

[@notaperson9831]

Was gonna say this lol he’s so cute 🥹🥰🖤

[@kellenphan7198]

Holy shit I can't kill myself now there's a full 50 minute crustbag video

[@vermis0161]

the new bloodlines being good is the last hope i have left in this world

[@CoralCopperHead]

Sorry.

[@Draqer]

Man i doubt that will be the case but hope springs eternal.

[@lickablewallpaper5512]

It won't be.

[@vermis0161]

@@lickablewallpaper5512no! why did you say that noooooo

[@hellaradusername]

Great video essaymanship. So the TTRPG this is based on was amazing, as a goth-adjacent 90's punk one of my favorite things to do was sit in Barnes and Noble and just thumb through all the books for the artwork, which is incredible. The Brujah one has a vampire with 17 different spike bracelets and chainmail gauntlets right on the cover, and the original Malkavian one just has a bunch of kids' drawings of scary vampires for most of its artwork. The Werewolf stuff is amazing too, there's lots of tribal tattoos and oversized silver mall ninja blades. The mission in the end game where there's an 8' tall furry punching through walls really doesn't do it justice. Had a campaign going that ended up a lot like that Netflix movie where there's zombies in a post-apocalyptic Las Vegas and I'm blanking on the name. There are literally hundreds of these White Wolf supplements and they're just this great artifact of this real specific moment in time and I'm happy the vidya game captured a lot of that. That part where there's vampire hunters and they're in trench coats and have katanas strapped to their back, that was originally completely unironic

[@ImGazu]

I just bought it. Can't wait to re-live my awkward middle-school 2004-2007 "It's not a phase" phase.

[@ImGazu]

Update: I haven't even started playing it and I'm questioning my purchase.

[@punk471]

this is my comfort video. I've watched it at least 4 times over

[@punk471]

yearly check in no doubt i still come back!!!

[@matador12ify]

hey man i gotta say, VTMB is literally my favorite videogame to the point where if I see that someone made "Yet Another Video Essay About It Where I Already Know Exactly What They're Gonna Say" (it's a genre, i promise), I watch through it nonetheless because I just enjoy seeing people love this game as much as I do, but you doing a Boundary Break kinda thing on it is possibly the most original thing I've seen someone do with this game in a while. Kudos

[@justanotheranimeprofilepic]

I love that vampire the masquerade bloodlines literally becomes everyones favorite game when they play it

[@V4ND4L1Z3RR]

Me after watching the intro and being overcome with the most despicably aggressive desire to buy this game: 😍😍🥵😚💪💪😱

[@56mice]

You clearly put a lot of love into the making of this video and it really pays off!

[@direwolfgaming4905]

Vampire The Masquerade is a fucking masterpiece man!

[@emo-fish-tank1602]

i remember a teacher of mine recommending this game a few years ago and at the time i never looked into it. I'm definitely glad to see it pop back up in convenient video essay form.

[@rottencoffeecup9330]

I hate this game for how stillborn it turned out to be (and the development hell seems to be a curse looming over the franchise rip vtmb 2) yet it pictures its own little era with so much soul put into it that I honestly can't badmouth it or not recommend it to anyone. Great to see you talking about it with such passion I still listen to the soundtrack on regular basis Also playing as the Malkavian feels like a whole standalone unique playthrough because of how different it is from other races

[@carcanofrio3701]

GOD you are my fave yt and this is my fave game . thank you so much for talking about this it made my week . also one of my fave trivia about this game is that the main menu theme was originally meant to be angel by massive attack but they couldn't, so the menu theme is heavily inspired by the song but still original

[@crustbag]

I included that in the music section as text! It's really cool listening to the tracks side-by-side, it weirdly makes me appreciate BOTH of the tracks more haha

[@useless.b0nes]

i love seeing you talk about something you're passionate about :)

[@burjit]

I always loved the Easter egg when you no clip into the news caster’s room and you can get an envelope of money from the draw of the desk he’s sat at. This is my favourite game ever, I have a Malkavian tattoo and literally chose my new name based off one of the characters. It’s awesome to see some one who still recalls VTMB so fondly nearly 20yrs later.

[@middleofnowhere1313]

As an eldergoth I find this delicious and hilarious XD

[@aylin-q7r]

once again im watching a 40min video essay abt a game ive never heard of but holy shit im such a huge fan of it now thanks to u!! i love ppl being overly passionate abt rly niche silly games u rly did a great job !!!!

[@heros5073]

I was going to make a pun with how bad i am at video games and the fact that it's a game about vampires but that would just suck wouldn't it ?

[@enJoyAblY_stupid]

to be honest, I didn't even really want to watch this video, but then I clicked on it and couldn't stop watching because of how exited and passionately you spoke about this game. Downloading it rn. This video essay is amazing btw

[@paynexkiller]

Man, that ain't nobody's favourite KoRn album.

[@LieutenantRancid]

This is one of my favorite games of all time and I got so excited to see you do a video on it.

[@teodorapetkovic]

My first introduction to Vampire: The Masquerade in general, was an equally long (if not longer) rant someone had about a spin-off comic that was called Winter Teeth or something like that. So the fact you didn't mention the history or the legacy of the whole francize is cool because now someone will hopefully spend several hours searching stuff about it and that makes me happy!

[@Dayman667]

You are such a pleasant person to watch and listen to.

[@messenger5205]

7:30 into the video and I want the game so bad but im TERRIFIED to see how much it is because I’m broke asf rn. also i really like your mallgoth outfit

[@crustbag]

It's pretty cheap I believe! But it also participates in a lot of Steam sales, so there are times where you can probably get it for like 10-ish bucks

[@messenger5205]

@@crustbag thank fuck dude. Wendy’s don’t pay good 😭😭😭

[@cosmicpanda7043]

@@messenger5205 The game is almost two decades old. It's really only AAA publishers who keep old games at near their original price. You can probably pick it up for even cheaper on a key site like CDkeys too

[@fjoa123]

I used to play this game in the hiding to keep my dad from thinking I was gay.

[@lino522]

The pimp outfit sold me. Where can I acquire this fine game?

[@unsystematic-]

Highly recommend getting it on GOG as the download straight from there includes the unofficial patch already - no extra effort needed to jump into the game.

[@popcorntakis]

i finished the game today! im so happy you made a video about this game otherwise i never wouldve played this gem. had a lot of bugs but honestly the game is still 10/10 i'm impressed with the amount of content this game has.

[@OMClyde]

You sure made me watch that Nachtmar dancing video again.

[@twonumbernines8291]

Saw this game and played it about a year or two ago. I'm currently running a Chicago chronicle for some friends that play TTRPGs. Now I also start arguments with stop signs, and often have conversations with the people living in my screens.

[@micharogowski9538]

For some reason I love long-ass VTMB video essays.

[@The_Baron_of_Venice_Beach]

"If you're not buying this game already, what the fuck is wrong with you" Truer words have never been spoken. Also, Rik Schaffer's music goes so hard. It has no reason to, but I am so damn glad it did. The Hollywood Theme if amazing. A Bounty for the Hunter is such a fun quest. I'm still disappointed that I couldn't buy a dinosaur egg from Fat Larry, though.

[@Allison_Hart]

when i read "mall-goth simulator," i was expecting some kinda obscure game where you play a goth wandering the mall, and then it turned out you were talking about VTMB. and basically what that means is, you're utterly excellent, and an immediate like and subscribe. also i would love to see a game about being a mall goth... VTMB is a (flawed) masterpiece. also the music and the architectural assets/textures don't get enough love, when talking about what made the game what it was. you do a great job of communicating that what is truly magnificent about the game is its creation of a very, very particular setting and ambience, using elements of 90s and 00s goth and punk subcultures, and then mixing that vibe with a bunch of other shit...like a sense of, almost, nihilism in the setting itself. and then layering the traditional gothic horror on top of that. it's hard to explain, but the fact that you can go to the Red Spot, or the diner, or The Last Round, or your haven(s), or the Ocean House Hotel, or The Asylum, or Confession, or the beach, or Tseng's Herbal Remedies, or Gary's cave, or the graveyard, or the Sin Bin, or the Lacroix Tower, or ANYWHERE in this dang game, and the feeling truly shifts - plus you could imagine any of these places as real places - is a feeling that hasn't quite been replicated for me in any game since.

[@mayhem4625]

Thank u for understanding that sometimes games take a while. I don't think most of people understand that companies are made of PEOPLE! love this game, so excited for the second one

[@seroqu3l]

i've always knew vampire the masquerade stuff existed, but i've only had my first contact with bloodlines this year when one of my friends showed it to me. i instantly fell in love with it, mainly because of the soundtrack, and i'm really glad you made this video! thanks mr crustbag

[@saint_sanguini]

I'm so glad there's someone out there who understands how and why I love this game so much! Here's hoping bloodlines 2 is worth it

[@etchysketchy7088]

This video came up as a suggested and lemme tell you, I loved learning about this game from you alongside with your overall personality and giddiness

[@hilsdd8194]

I'm a big postal 2 person so this seems perfect, ofc it's right when I have no time to play games anymore lol

[@SakuyaShiomiEnjoyer]

bloodlines is probably one of my all-time favorites, i even got into the tabletop version of it because i was so enamoured by the setting and mechanics

[@notnotline]

vtmb was my first pc video game and i fucking love it so much, i still go back and play it regularly. its perfect and my friends have never and will never stop hearing me gush ab this game (no seriously, i just had some of them take a quiz for what clan theyd be yesterday bc that is how much of a grip this game still has on me). the soundtrack, the quests, the DANCING??? PLEASE, its

[@fafnirvt]

Oh man something I really wish you touched on is how playing as a Malkavian technically makes like a quarter of your dialogue options spoilers if you can translate the riddles. (Like referring to the Voermans as "Daughter of Janus". Janus is a two-faced god foreshadowing the DID.) Great video! This game deserves so much more love! ❤

[@marcusrasmussen8661]

It is so cool that you have a Undergang Long sleeve, thanks for supporting the danish metal scene

[@wepfsr6965]

Babe, Wake up!! New _crustbag_ video just dropped!

[@tarnetskygge]

38:20 "Lightning McQueen went down the alt-right pipeline" might be my favourite description of the General Lee from Dukes of Hazzard 😂

[@limbsforsecond]

I'm really enjoying this video, it's been a while since I've watched someone explain something that I've never heard of and instantly feel immersed in it.

[@kathope6838]

part of my weekly routine is going to a vampire the masquerade larp! if this game is your shit then most def look into local larp communities, my game is connected nationally and there are game sessions in almost every major city!!! I genuinely have the malkavian clan symbol tattooed on my forearm. as passionate as you are in this video im sure you did know that the tzimisce is actually a whole clan of fleshcrafters, they didnt go much in detail in bloodlines but they are actually one of my favorite clans to see original content with lol!

[@kaylaniart979]

I got this game years ago on steam so i dont think i had too many bugs as i play it now. I absolutely love your style with this video how it broken down and Im a new fan. I think one of the coolest things about this game is that you can take a personailty test to see which clan you fit into, which was beyond its time when it came out. Of course I was a natural Tremere, but playing Malkavian was a hilarious ride. I really hope the second one comes through, I have waited so long for that game.

[@linnknutson9523]

Watched the whole thing, am absolutely obsessed both with the game and your brilliant commentary. Never played a video game in my life but if the sequel drops I will try!!!

[@fabianaa.7660]

I watched all the way through, even though I haven’t played the game and maybe will never get the chance, love watching your vids regardless man! Love the look/fits and you always make me laugh!

[@garlicenthusiast2285]

lol, watched the stream back then, which was already entertaining as fuck, just as yer other streams. a light in the dark after a really exhausting week :'D keep up the good work, dude.

[@vermaledijd592]

This wasn't in my childhood at ALL but this video made me excited for this typa stuff..!

[@bethdeva]

i was watching ur game shows while playing some vtmb and clicked on ur channel to find more. lo and behold the video on ur front page. ended up watching this video instead. fucking awesome video and channel

[@zer0delete]

I love this game. The soundtrack is awesome too. Also I really get tickled how Swanped by Lacuna Coil sounds like she’s saying “When you’re druuuuuunk in a fieeeld, when you’re druuuunk in a fieeeeeld…”

[@forestnymph333]

You're absolutely adorable playing your little video game

[@christofferhougaard]

World of Darkness is incredibly fun to explore and play in. Anyone who enjoys the grim dark aspects will find something to suit their tastes in WoD.

[@alexoberdorf1658]

Hay the man the myth the legend is back. I love your videos your my favorite KZbinr keep it up you'll have a million subs in no time.

[@infortunateTremere]

one of my alltime favorite games

[@elios7623]

that a freaking masterpiece dude, matter of fact, imma play it again why not

[@colasupernova2196]

Hi! Super late but I love Vampire: The Masquerade and the World of Darkness in general! The ‘demons’ in Snuff is Enough aren’t demons, they’re called Vozhd! They’re essentially a bunch of living things smashed together to make one awful war machine. The head ‘demon’ isn’t a demon either, he’s a vampire or kindred just like the player! He’s from a clan called the Tzimisce, which are heavily inspired by Dracula! The Tzimisce are fleshcrafters, aka shapeshifters who can also change the appearance of others!

[@anon645]

never have I once been de-wigged with such surgical precision in the first thirty seconds of a video. subbed.

[@jalelale5617]

I always saw the boxes for the game but never played it, this was so cool

[@wygolvillage2637]

HAVE NO CHOICE TO BE ISOLATED STRUGGLING LEFT ALONE APART

[@himbourbanist]

I dig your channel because you unironically enjoy things and it's cool as hell

[@supershrimp1418]

aw man this is like my favourite video you've made so far !!! hell yeah

[@pyroshadow]

My #1 fav game of all time, replayed so often, and the mods to fix it and add things is great to stop it breaking as much xD

[@zombiemidgetable]

Man I’ve always thought about getting this game and you just convinced me to do it. Great fucking video bro.

[@StrigoiVampire]

In my opinion the best thing about this game is the atmosphere, because the atmosphere shows the world from a big city gothic perspective, it shows how the night of a contemporary city is full of life, full of supernatural events happening at night, in fact vampire masquerade is a game that shows that more important events happen at night than during the day

[@Akanesatu]

I see once again you are a true man of culture. I too love this game to bits, it's so special too me.

[@SlyHikari03]

I miss this aesthetic so much. Also, I am a Los Angeles resident, this is accurate.

[@phi816]

The weird legless monster looking things in "Snuff is Enough" give me strong Infant Annihilator Blasphemian vibes

[@sarahhyden3424]

I'm so glad this game is still alive. This video just came out, the reddit is still active, etc. I just redownloaded it this week for another playthrough. This has been my favorite game of all time since I was a teenager and no new game has changed my opinion on that. 🖤 Just got a Toreador tattoo this year. 🖤

[@anothersettlementneedsyour9628]

That sounds like a game I’d enjoy. As you can tell by my Fallout profile image, I love RPGs. My favorite is actually Fallout 3, not 4. I also love fantasy, that is not set in medieval la la land, but in real-life-like environment. And of course, I watch your channel, so here’s that.

[@lunchb0x1986]

"fantasy that is not set in some medieval lala land" you like sci Fi not fantasy.

[@cosmicpanda7043]

@@lunchb0x1986 Fantasy doesn't explicitly mean it's set in a medieval inspired period. Games with a modern setting can have fantasy elements and VtM is a solid example because I definitely wouldn't call it sci-fi

[@cosmicpanda7043]

Also you should definitely check out more RPGs besides just Fallout and not limit yourself based on your preferred setting. Love Fallout 1 and NV, but they are definitley not the best of the genre

[@anothersettlementneedsyour9628]

@@lunchb0x1986 oh, I love sci-fi. I prefer it to fantasy overall. But Final Fantasy for example… has cars, trains, cities. Also there’s stuff that taps into both, called “science fantasy”. I’m just saying that medieval setting is just not my thing. I already played Skyrim and watched Lord Of The Rings, Hobbit etc. I don’t need more of that.

[@miscmedicin]

this kinda reminds me of the nancy drew mystery computer games i played as a kid.. ik that sounds misplaced but it rly does. in one u could crawl arnd in the sewer system but if u took a wrong turn u'd get sucked into a bunch of spinning blades and the next screen is a fountain gushing blood

[@ahsenarslan]

i was literally waiting for this video since you streamed this game on twitch and finally a 50 min video. fuck yes

[@keycatharsis]

I try VERY hard to make this flesh house a flesh home

[@wyattshook2775]

Ngl the hair physics are pretty good for the age

[@firestepher72]

This game is by far my all time favorite game. So much so I have a tattoo dedicated to my favorite clan Gangrel. I have 4 separate installations of this game all with different mods. Some of which you should play BTW. It is so nice to see a younger gen gamer play this masterpiece.

[@shanicecogswell8125]

Never heard of the game once in my life but enjoyed this vid so damn much. Super entertaining and engaging. Nic work dude!

[@Amenlimit]

If you like typing in games you're gonna love Hymnospace outlaw, its based in a computer system from the 90's and you surf the old internet, I really recommend this game

[@AccoSpoot]

My favourite level is the haunted house; I had to keep reminding myself I was this badass vampire I was so shook!

[@jonmarbrey838]

I heard that the main menu music was originally supposed to be angel by massive attack but the secure the permission to use it so they made something that sounds similar

[@corpsegrinder8236]

Guys guys it’s him he did a new one guys look at this one (I’m a curmpburg fan)

[@dimitriid]

I wonder if you ever watched the L.A. By Night let's play of Vampire the Masquerade. It's basically like Critical Role but is set on the future of this specific game and most of the major NPCs of the game are actually played by either the Storyteller or as NPCs played by actual voice actors and stuff so rather well done but well, a bit of a comitment to watch it all (5 seasons total with like 8 episodes each about 2 hours long or so)

[@CoralCopperHead]

I heard about that, thank you for letting everyone know it's similar to Critical Role. Will avoid.

[@dimitriid]

@@CoralCopperHead Hey honestly I don't blame you: it's a step too much into nerdom even if we're talking primarily mall goth/emo kids but that *is* where Vampire: The Masquerade comes from: it's just D&D Geeks in the early 90s going "Actually, Goth was cool in the 80s and so is Anne Rice let's just play vampires instead of Paladins."

[@pineselms111]

Inspired me to try the game myself:> The vibe of your channel is great too, good luck!

[@lupert1221]

I’ve been so excited for this video fuck yeah

[@SerfsUp1848]

You are truly BASED as fuck Good vid. Great game. Wish there was a werewolf the apocalypse equivalent.

[@willowsneverweep]

omg my mom had this game!! i was still a fetus in the late 2000s but i remember watching her playing it and thinking it was so cool. the game and all of her other pc games got sold like a decade ago tho.

[@rampagingshark]

Incredible video bro. You did this game justice. Also this was why when I bought Swansong I was like ...... The f*CK is this sh*t"?

[@sockfullofsoup3165]

i bought the game right after watching this and now i have a very unhealthy addiction that’s not helping my grades in anyway shape of form

[@te9591]

1:45 chef's kiss