The Daily Bugle’s BREAKING NEWS

J. Jonah Jameson tells you how it is! Spider-Man’s reign of terror must come to an end! Also his alimony! That too!
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Betty Brant voiced by @Dovendraw
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[@41dn]

I like to think Betty kept naming news headlines out of morbid curiosity for how many things Jonah could blame on spidey

[@entity107]

Well would you?

[@41dn]

@@entity107 yeah I'd do the same

[@pauldzim]

"Spiderman makes Betty's voice sound like a man's"

[@privateeyety5735]

For sure

[@juannaym8488]

she's a little mishievous in the comics so yeah its in character

[@theworstghost123]

Can’t believe S-pi-der-man would do this, I’m so glad we have The Daily Bugle to get the facts

[@Damnbro949]

I know right

[@felipecosta-kv2fx]

But what about the time spider man visited and helped the F.E.A.S.T shelter for a day?

[@Burgertimee]

@@felipecosta-kv2fx”Spider-Man robs FEAST!”

[@felipecosta-kv2fx]

​@@Burgertimee*GASP* How DARE he!?

[@TheRealLegoDocOck]

This is SO Disgusting!!!

[@bogdanjeremic5787]

Let's be real, Jameson with a Twitter account would be an Avengers level threat.

[@cornixdemetrius7883]

"Spiderman allegedly rapes an allegedly innocent allegedly virgin alleged girl

[@robertortiz-wilson1588]

The media is already an Avengers level threat

[@minestar2247]

Isn t it why he likes mysterio?

[@irrationalreasoning6368]

He already has a podcast in the games. If honestly love to listen to JK Simmons do a regular podcast in character as JJ once a week. It'd be hilarious.

[@MoHossam94]

Ben Shapiro.

[@Prauwlet213]

I love how this skit unironically really shows the power the media has

[@TheACcam]

JJJ: Fake news, fake news!

[@DaL33T5]

And how it's used in all the wrong ways.

[@GiacomoSorbi]

*the power the media HAD: if you look at the numbers, more and more people don't buy into that, for a good reason.

[@ExtremeSquared]

The JJJ in this skit is an immaculate amalgamation of Fox and NPR.

[@Yezpahr]

.... I guess that's why the artists insist on a toothbrush mustache for JJ.

[@HoV326]

"Spiderman pushes News Head to Brink of Insanity" would technically be a true story

[@Grubleafeater]

Brink?

[@HoV326]

@@Grubleafeater edge

[@DoctorPorkenfries]

Don't be ridiculous. JJJ would never publish that. He knows good and damn well that Spider-Man is hyphenated.

[@Deathmare235]

@@HoV326not on the edge he is insane

[@universalspaceexpeditioner8259]

Spiderman made the Honkai and had Otto kill Himeko.

[@Edujs23]

Imagine if by some weird domino effect, Spiderman was actually responsible for all of this

[@user-vs5gb7pt3h]

Spider-Man did gave people cancer. There is an alternative reality where his wife died, because his "body fluids" were radioactive

[@mhoang2006]

"Spider-man is responsible for the creation of Solid JJ's universe"

[@mwawadoshanga]

Spider-Man just breathed and it spiraled into gas becoming double the price.

[@tommydoez]

To be fair to Jameson, his marriage falling apart is very much the fault of spiderman... well J.Jonah Jameson's Obsession with spiderman but still

[@LowIiet]

@@mwawadoshanga I hate when he does that

[@ninjahedgehog5]

If I remember, in 90's animated series, it's revealed that Jameson's hatred of Spiderman comes from his wife getting killed by a mob boss because Jameson wouldn't stop snooping around. So in honor of his wife he refuses to let anyone "use a mask" to skirt the law. He essentially believes in "if you've done nothing wrong you got nothing to hide".

[@ironmaster6496]

I honestly wish that were canon in the comics since it's a really good motive

[@calebowens693]

Yeah, the 90's Jameson was probably my favorite version of the character. Certainly unpleasant, but a better person than he usually is in the comics. Granted, he did help make the Scorpion in that series, but he also paid for Matt Murdock to defend Peter when he was falsely accused of treason (although he did so anonymously).

[@theunskilledshinigami7623]

​@@calebowens693 Well, to be fair, he does help make the scorpion in the mainline 616 universe and most shows/games. So that still leaves him being the best of them since almost every other Jameson is also guilty of that anyway. It's essentially baseline Jameson.

[@ninjahedgehog5]

@@theunskilledshinigami7623 I remember that dynamic mainly because the neversoft ps1 game starts with spiderman trying to get to jameson b4 scorpion puts him 6 feet under :P

[@aarongoosby5532]

If Jameson had used a mask, his wife would still be alive.

[@netherdominater9960]

Ironically enough the ‘Spider-Man gives people cancer’ one actually happens in some comics due to him having radioactive blood

[@Millstone1985]

And radioactive sperm, as it turns out.

[@laurabeane8862]

Dr. Manhattan Wishes someone would write a catchy song about HIS radioactive blood...😂

[@JPARnum1]

I was looking for this reply.

[@thebiolibrary5572]

Is he strong? Listen, chum. He's got radioactive-

[@laurabeane8862]

@@thebiolibrary5572 Is he strong? Listen Punk, he got Radioactive-☢ 😂

[@tomby_]

"Tagline- she's taking the kids" In that moment, spiderman realised he couldn't web everything back together.

[@felipecosta-kv2fx]

SPIDER MAN USES OLD WOMAN AS PROXY TO KIDNAP KIDS!

[@gunslingergirl2579]

​@@felipecosta-kv2fxIronically, at least one "superhero" has definitely done that (*cough* "Flash").

[@felipecosta-kv2fx]

@@gunslingergirl2579 ... Context? What the fuck?

[@gunslingergirl2579]

@@felipecosta-kv2fx I really have to explain to someone at this point? Ezra Miller, hence the quotation marks, helped a woman flee from police over custody issues by hiding her and her kids at his farm.

[@nugget._.samg0]

He couldn't web Gwen Stacy back together either.

[@OnionSoup-tg7dv]

“Spider man ends marriage of 33 years” broke me, it absolutely broke me 😂

[@felipecosta-kv2fx]

"SPIDER MAN BREAKS POOR RANDOM GUY LIKE BANE!"

[@Walupof]

I knew that was coming after the pause but it still killed me

[@CyanRooper]

Don't forget the tagline "She's taking the kids."

[@felipecosta-kv2fx]

@@CyanRooper "SPIDER MAN KIDNAPS KIDS DISGUISED AS MY EX WIFE!"

[@tomby_]

Bro said my joke louder =[

[@sonofgaming1546]

What I love most about this is that "Spider-Man gives people cancer" is an existing storyline and implies a very interesting relationship between him and the mayor

[@livietompkins4130]

I remember that one... I didn't even think of the implications of it being the mayor that got cancer...

[@seand7042]

Coke and webs isn't the only things he's swinging

[@MyVanir]

@@seand7042 slinging*

[@Goldtiger142003]

"Spiderman hates-" This part had me crying of laughter. I know there wouldn't be slurs, but a little part of me was fully expecting a vulgar surprise.

[@woodsy4698]

"Spiderman hates black" *Cuts to spiderman throwing away Venom*

[@vaggos2003]

Honestly, that part fits perfectly with a good chunk of the rest of Solid jj's Spiderman videos.

[@johndavidtibbetts7320]

Can't believe spiderman poisoned pur crops and put a plague upon our house

[@Taypokemon]

He did??

[@rohanshah7559]

No, but are we going to just wait until he does?

[@tastethepainbow]

I say... we TIP SOMETHING OVER!

[@tkf15]

I say we tip something over!

[@langbo9999]

Mysterio: Yes I wonder how that happen.

[@JJ_R]

I’m honestly surprised Jameson didn’t go “Spider-Man cripples newspaper editor”, when he mentioned he can’t stand.

[@MoostachedSaiyanPrince]

That's only because that's the headline he used yesterday and he knows he can't run the same story on the front page again so soon.

[@CompletelyNewguy]

Knowing Jameson he already said it.

[@kevinirmiter3669]

JJJ didn't tell her, she found out by reading the headline and then immediately called to divorce him because she didn't want to be married to a cripple

[@jaimebustillofernandez3901]

So he really is an ableist

[@xaviersaavedra7442]

Spider-Man helps monokuma spread dispear

[@conradfreidson6420]

The way Parker started defending raising gas prices but didn't do the same for every other fake thing pinned on Spider-Man leads me to believe that he absolutely is responsible for gas prices. Somehow.

[@samuelskinner7704]

He keeps blowing up gas trucks in superhero fights. If you ever played Freedom Force, you'll understand.

[@terminallygray]

And what about those higher taxes !...Huh.... can't forget about paying more taxes !! Or the Drugs....Or your sick & dying Grandma... where does it end ?? P.P. is denying everything !!

[@elysiankentarchy1531]

All sorts of things happen when you go drinking with Venom.

[@octaviusroosevelt7355]

​@@terminallygray Heh. P. P.

[@greywolf7577]

There was another video that said the Green Goblin raised gas prices by 15 cents.

[@andre1999o]

Spider-Man single-handedly lays waste to Carthage and salts its soil.

[@gearguy8360]

"What about all the bad stuff that happened before Spider-Man?" "Spider-Man, time travelling menace!"

[@s.nifrum4580]

“He only time traveled once, and he immediately destroyed the machine afterward” “Why do you know that Parker?”

[@birdmcturd1626]

@@s.nifrum4580”Why wouldn’t I know that the local superhero travelled through time?”

[@CrowTR0bot]

@@s.nifrum4580 What storyline is that from, actually?

[@MultiMario2306]

“Spider-Man giving someone cancer” I thought we all agreed to never talk about Reign again

[@richardarriaga6271]

I figured he had to create Deadpool to save us from the Skrull.

[@patrickstonecrusher]

I hear there's a Spiderman comic where it turns out Peter's radioactive jizz gave Mary Jane cancer

[@X-SPONGED]

Radioactive spider nut😔

[@snaketooth0943]

I made that reference myself... but it appears you did it first. Good job!

[@psuley1977]

I was hoping someone would make that reference. A hat-tip to your magnificence

[@Dice-sickle]

That “…How?” at 0:48 was spoken from the HEART 💀💀💀

[@starxshardsxwonder9652]

0:46

[@ironmaster6496]

People who read Spider-Man reign: you DON'T wanna know

[@quin.cy75]

"Spiderman breaks friends out of prison." What an inspirational guy.

[@andrezzil8909]

this man JJ really just said "thank you" to his wife for divorcing him

[@HMNCLunar]

"Sir, your wife lost the checkbook." "THAT'S SOME GREAT NEWS!"

[@tylerbartlett28]

More news to blame spiderman for

[@LloydTheZephyrian]

I mean, denial is one helluva drug.

[@DescendingVelocity]

Reminds me of that skit from the onion where the White House representatives wife died but he keeps nonchalantly brushing it off for questions for the president lmao

[@kingofcards9516]

Based.

[@Diamond_Aura]

What Peter doesn’t realize is the random woman he saved from getting mugged last week was Jameson’s wife. She became infatuated with Spider-Man after the distance had been growing between her and her husband, but in a cruel twist of fate for Peter, she believes that Joe from the donut shop she frequents often IS Spider-Man. In other words, both she and Jameson think that she left him for Spider-Man, but the actual Spider-Man literally only interacted with her once while saving her life

[@byronrush9802]

Now it makes sense why Jameson hates him instead of just outright jealousy

[@BenjaMan64]

With how Marvel writers love to mess with Spider-Man, that could be Canon in a comic.

[@Tfbrave]

​@@BenjaMan64aren't JJ and Peter related now with May and JJ's father getting married? Or did that get undone too? (for the record the newest Spiderman I've actually read were Worldwide and spiderverse- I know newer writers have really messed him up but that's the extent of my knowledge on newer spidy books)

[@FireFox64000000]

I'm not going to say that would justify all of his hate. I'm just going to say that I would understand.

[@danielferguson5971]

​@@Tfbrave jamesons dad died I dont know how though

[@krizwatcher]

0:40 - Well, there WAS that one time MJ got affected by Spidey's radioactive sperm...

[@RichardHughs-tk4ci]

“Spider man gay confirmed ?” Then add a random red arrow and circle to the thumbnail and its perfect

[@conman_yt7999]

"Hate crimes are at an all time high" "Spider-Man hates-" What were you going to say JJJ?

[@spaciousflame]

Spider man hates minorities.

[@octaviusroosevelt7355]

Well, I mean... Look, he's not racist, but... I mean, he has some friends who are... Uh... Why do you wokes have to cancel me on everything?!

[@zendio6882]

i love the implication he replied to "i'm taking the kids" with "alright thank you"

[@nighthero7]

Gotta appreciate a person's honesty sometimes. Instead of doing it behind his back, she let him know without disturbing his job.

[@AtomicArtumas]

I mean, tbf, if he can't move from his chair, they're better off with her, so he could legitimately be thanking her for not trying to abandon them.

[@ralalbatross]

Well. He's dogged in pursuit of the truth. Spiderman wrecked a marriage of 33 years after all

[@realanimegirl777]

I like how it's implied that JJJ's ex-wife kept up with his shit for 3 years

[@MrDj232]

Probably not his literal shit, I'm guessing there's some poor Bugle intern who has seen too much.

[@Viperboi-qn5of]

​oh god...

[@spiderboy43]

"Here kid, take my shit and chuck it in the crapper, and make it fast, I'm about to drop another deuce in a few seconds!"

[@litterbox019]

solid jjj

[@d4n737]

Okay: Here's an Idea for a sketch - People of New York pretty much get sick of the Bugle's shit and come to protest Think about it. Spider-Man either: - Prevented a crisis that might've potentially been dangerous to you, or at least destroyed your favorite cafe - Directly saved your own loved one from death or harm - Saved YOU directly from death or harm People are going to riot that JJJ is slandering someone who isn't just a loved public figure, like a celebrity on the internet, but a hero who they're directly grateful to, because he has made a tangable impact on their lives.

[@elysiankentarchy1531]

With how Spider-Man is treated these days, the crowd will probably just start burning him in effigy.

[@JayQuelinx]

"Spiderman slings webs, and coke" had me screaming,🤣

[@kingburriyto8515]

Can't believe his JK Simmons impression is just that outstanding. Truly a spitting image of him.

[@CSHummer]

To be fair, it's not outstanding, since he can't stand

[@Reginald425]

@@CSHummerOutsitting impression

[@literallyjustisaac3521]

Wait that wasnt JK Simmons?

[@dometrikschramm5301]

The voices were too similar :/

[@ultima8099]

He’s impression is good as he’s a master of slander like JK Simmons

[@pappabunny]

And congratulations for finally getting a female voice actress. Top notch work.

[@gingerayyle]

They've had MothballsVA for a lot of their stuff in the past

[@tylerbartlett28]

Probably just a man doing a female voice

[@NightWing1800]

@@tylerbartlett28 The VA is in the description.

[@BlackKyurem5]

Hes had some for awhile. It just became a running joke with Wonder Woman

[@terminallygray]

No, no. no I thought Betty was ghetto. It sounded like Betty used to be ghetto.

[@MCDexpo]

"Let's see who you really are, The Daily Bugle!" **unmasks** Everyone: **gasp** "NATIONAL ENQUIRER???"

[@noneofyourbuisness1679]

I'm not saying Jonah's right, but I'd love for there to be a sequel where virtually all his outlandish headline pitches turn out to be true, but in an insanely round-about way ala the butterfly effect that makes Spider-Man question whether or not it's time to begin his villain arc

[@nighthero7]

Spiderman saves Chinese ambassador that later props plan to increase chinese carbon emissions in order to stimulate economy.

[@davidhong1934]

​@@nighthero7 ...which leads to someone's grandma getting sick

[@nighthero7]

@@davidhong1934spiderman supports the death of the elderly.

[@melh937]

"That punk can climb walls. Don't put it past him!" Was actually the most logical line of this vid 😂

[@faislayer.]

If this was canon it would unironically be the kindest way Peter’s been treated by the writers 💀

[@zachg5856]

No I think the kindest the writers have ever been to spider man is he’s dead for those times and doesn’t have some story going on

[@Kaimariification]

Plot twist: Marvel told the writers to make Peter suffer, so they went this route because they lacked the sadism required to make Peter suffer anymore. They use Plot money to keep the Daily Bugle in business so they balance it all out.

[@cassiolins1203]

One of those is actually canon. Spiderman indeed once gave cancer to Mary Jane with his radioative sperm (really, look it up).

[@sdgdhpmbp]

​@@cassiolins1203What about ending marriage? His own to be specific.

[@CyreseParrish]

​@cassiolins1203 That was an alternate universe, technically not in the canon one, but it still did happen regardless.

[@quincylancer]

“Spider-Man’s not mad, just disappointed”

[@cc0767]

1:00 so spiderman isnt actually climbing walls, his constant farts are keeping him afloat!

[@bjchit]

It's impressive how no matter how ridiculous he has the characters behave, Solid JJ still is lore accurate (Jameson being jealous of Spider-Man is a big reason why he treats him the way he does).

[@Deathmare235]

Jealous?

[@quinnv1905]

​@Deathmare235 yeah there are a few reasons that i know of one of them was his wife was murdered by a man in a mask and he doesn't trust anyone wearing a mask or spiderman debut ended up overshadowing his son's achievements, or that he is just jealous of him.

[@bjchit]

@@Deathmare235 Oh yea, as early as issue #10 of Amazing, Triple J was lamenting how he wasn't half the man Spidey is. This is the speech he has in private: "Am I always to be thwarted, embarrassed, frustrated by Spider-Man?? I hate that costumed freak more than I've ever hated anyone before!...All my life I've been interested in only one thing-making money! And yet, Spider-Man risks his life day after day with no thought of reward! If a man like him is good-is a hero-then what am I??...Spider-Man represents everything that I'm not! He's brave, powerful and unselfish! The truth is, I envy him! I, J. Jonah Jameson-millionaire, man of the world, civic leader-I'd give everything I own to be the man that he is! But I can never climb to his level! So all that remains for me is--to try and tear him down--because, Heaven help me--I'm jealous of him!"

[@DanielBotes]

​@@quinnv1905my personal favourite is that it's not Spider-man that he has a problem with, it's the fact that he doesn't have any accountability.

[@markdibuo3756]

In the comics he had an abusive father who was well liked by the city.

[@Bogdanisar]

Ironically, in the moment when Spiderman's existence actually personally affects Jameson in a negative way, he comes up with "Spiderman ends marriage of 33 years", which is closer to the truth than anything else that Jameson said since his obsession with Spiderman is what ultimately killed his marriage.

[@saparapatepete]

but he can't blame his obsession on him, that was his mess

[@danieljames1868]

Betty is having way too much fun with this, and honestly I can't blame her.

[@AesirSW]

I can't believe Spider-Man broke Jameson's legs so he'd end up divorced. What a menace.

[@ZggFghvgGrffht]

The Daily Bugle should be renamed Spider-Man Slander Weekly.💀

[@frostmourne1986]

You mean Daily

[@FlyingKipperEh]

Slander? The Daily Bugle speaks of truth.

[@ultimapower6950]

Technically it’s Spider-Man Libel Weekly

[@sbkeel5639]

​​@@ultimapower6950I see you are also a fan of the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies! "Slander is spoken, in print it's libel." J Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man 1.

[@Unknown_Nexus535]

@@sbkeel5639You don’t trust anyone that’s your problem

[@geardog24]

“Spider Man giving people cancer.” Mary Jane comes forward as a victim.

[@Goodbutevilgenius]

What is this, Watchmen?

[@karimamin2]

"Tag-line, she's taking the kids" Peter: Finally, Spiderman did something right.

[@sketchpixels6255]

0:47 The fact Spiderman ACTUALLY COULD have given the mayor cancer makes this 100 times more funny

[@Dalton_Boardman2000]

This isn't even an exaggeration. This is exactly what he does.

[@TheACcam]

Right?

[@GZilla311]

Hasn’t he gotten better recently since learning who Spidey is?

[@johntumahab323]

Indeed. I still remember way back in "The Amazing Spider-Man #1" when Jameson first appeared. His son's space capsule ended up losing a control module and was in a decaying orbit, so Spider-Man broke into a NASA base and had them fly him as close as he could to the descending capsule with a spare module and, at the risk of his life, he reinserted it so that Jameson's son could safely deploy the chute and return to Earth. Jameson used his newspaper to blame Spider-Man for causing the entire incident and ruining the launch so that he could make himself look heroic. And everyone believed JJJ. :/

[@mwawadoshanga]

Betty: "Mister Jameson, remember 9/11?" J. Jonah. Jameson: "... New headline!" "Spider-Man crashes planes into the twin towers!"

[@MaximizedAnimation]

Well in a teaser trailer for the first movie, he did create a huge web between the twin towers and trapped a helicopter in it

[@zomaz]

"Spider-Man's web can melt steel beams!"

[@Amitlu]

"Spider Man made Dr Doom cry in the wreckage of the towers!"

[@ultima8099]

Bro this is messed up And I was gonna comment that…

[@camerondodge2070]

"Spider-Man Forces Juggernaut to Topple Twin Towers!"

[@obeseoverlold]

Who would've thought that Spiderman was the reason why WW1, WW2 and the Vietnamese War happened? I mean, he wasn't even born yet!

[@RatchVision]

I was really hoping to see this go the other way. Have Jameson actually break down how after Spiderman showed up, all of the sudden increasingly horrible threats started attacking the city and he points out how none of these things happened prior to Spiderman existing. He even busts out crime statistics and shows that crime had increased since Spiderman started "fighting" it. The punchline would be Parker quits his job and being Spiderman, leaves the city, and crime drops dramatically.

[@justin2308]

That’s…a really good point. No hero, no need for a story. No story, no conflict. No conflict, no villain.

[@MeepoolOz]

Can’t believe spider man went and raised taxes like that 😔

[@gearoidoconnell5729]

I believe this one the amount of web Spiderman leaves in the city is going to cost Taxman for all the cleaning.

[@kingofcards9516]

Truly evil.

[@MeepoolOz]

@@gearoidoconnell5729 truly saddening

[@1bridge11]

@@gearoidoconnell5729 The webs dissolve after an hour. That's cannon.

[@ElectricalMatthew]

I can’t believe Spiderman would do all those terrible things and pretend to be a hero but good thing there are people like Jameson who tell us the truth.

[@terminallygray]

Straight from the Fox News playbook..... Oh.....Wait..... So THAT'S WHERE they got the idea. Damn media, always copying itself !!

[@matheusarruda6462]

I'm shocked Spider-Man kept the views of this video below 1 billion. He's truly a menace.

[@SomeGuyOnThisPlatform]

I’m starting to think Solid JJ might actually be J Jonah Jameson considering how many times he puts Spider-Man in situations that paint him as a bad guy or situations that give him a hard time.

[@terminallygray]

And..... have you EVER seen J Jameson and Solid JJ in the same room together ?? Think about it.....

[@justin2308]

Also interesting how both of them have at least two J’s in their names…

[@terminallygray]

@@justin2308 Yea !! 2 J's now there's a clue !!

[@BR-jw7pm]

While I enjoy Jameson, a lot of incarnations definitely fall into “I reject your reality and substitute my own” territory

[@eldorados_lost_searcher]

"Nice! Dungeon Masters!"

[@Poopenfarden]

I was trying way to hard to not laugh when he said "spiderman slings webs and coke!"

[@richardarriaga6271]

Man was just trying to get some kid a soda and this is the thanks he gets

[@davidhong1934]

​@@richardarriaga6271 I mean, at that velocity, he should've seen it coming Spiderman, I mean. The kid probably couldn't see something moving that fast.

[@Brown95P]

@1:03 "Are you trying to say spider-man releases more co2 than the country of fucking china?" Solidjj spitting out the real facts while still making us laugh; what an absolute champ.

[@jonathanrobinson8926]

I can't believe Spider-Man convonced JJJ to report false news.

[@CrocsFortress]

The fact Jameson is so mad because he can’t stand is gold.

[@stephenquinn3447]

0:44 Spider-man: Reign in a nutshell

[@moroc333]

Jameson: "Spiderman gives people cancer" Peter: ... Well, you got me there

[@IncredibleMD]

I still trust JJJ more than the MSM.

[@patrickkenneally3016]

Spider-Man could cough, and Jameson would tell New York he’s spreading the plague.

[@hasanfuad7668]

spider man: sitting in a chair jameson: THE WALL CRAWLING MENACE IS BOMBING AN ORPHANAGE

[@Robert-mx1io]

Spider man driving Jameson crazy is further proof Spider-Man is ableist.

[@Meander_]

You could see the last punchline from a mile away and it still was funny

[@HMNCLunar]

That's JJ for ya.

[@TimorousEye]

Now just imagine if Spider-Man was the villain the Daily Bugle presents him as.

[@richardarriaga6271]

Queens wouldn't stand a chance

[@jotheunissen9274]

Now to the weather Weatherman: "It's raining" J. Jonah Jameson: "DAMN YOU SPIDER-MAN!"

[@eomin]

Well, J. J. Jameson really does love to blame Spiderman for everything going wrong in the world. In one comic, he was literally holding up the Daily Bugle building by himself as the last pillar. To allow the trapped people inside to escape in time. And as his bones were cracking and poking out of his skin, Jameson managed to blame him to the face. Standing 10 feet away from him, as he was crumbling under the building's weight.

[@nighthero7]

In the world of code name super: That right there is what you call true villainry. That is top tier hating. Imagine running up to a guy in middle of saving you & blaming him for everything that's wrong.

[@mothballsva]

why would spider man spilled spaghetti sauce on my carpet.

[@highgrounder]

I can’t believe Spider-Man helped Gru steal the moon

[@RandoGrunt]

Thank you Omni-Man for bringing us the real truth about that menace

[@wolfwind7654]

Can't believe the only voice of reason in that office is JJ, I mean Parker is obviously a spiderman simpathiser and Betty is clearly open to the truth and starting to understand but JJ is the only one with their eyes open seeing the monster that is Spiderman

[@jamesreilly5905]

I cannot believe the fact that Spider-Mann wants to kill my grandmother I'm glad that J.Jonah Jameson is reporting the truth as opposed to the phony newspapers that say he's a hero

[@Vox-Multis]

If I didn't know this channel any better, I'd think this was hard-hitting social commentary.

[@LordTyph]

"Spiderman ruins journalistic integrity of the Daily Bugle" "Spiderman leads slanderous hate campaign against J. Jonah Jameson" "J. Jonah Jameson isn't shifting blame, Spiderman's just that much of a menace"

[@lancecosico9357]

0:09 I AM ADOLF HI-

[@dimancor2925]

Wait, i thought JJ had only one son an astronaut. Does that mean Spiderman gave JJ new kids?

[@MichaelUrocyon]

In a way, he's right. His obsession with Spider Man is probably what drove the relationship into the ground- Spider Man, did indeed end that marriage.

[@vash_the_stampede6570]

1:10 When he said "Webs and Coke" shit had me weak lmao😂

[@54Lie]

That wall crawling menace makes deals with devils. Did anyone not expect the arachnid to do these terrible and wretched things. It is people like J. Jonah Jameson, that keep us from falling into the web of lies that Spiderman weaves.

[@jaidora]

Ironically if I'm remembering this right, there was a bad ending comic where Peter and MJ's daughter was never born because the radioactive spider that bit Peter also made him radioactive. That means in that specific comic book, Spider-Mad did give you cancer due to overexposure. It was supposed to be one of those "if you had 1 wish" type of comic books.

[@DaveMiller6042]

0:50 Well depending on the story, his sperm.

[@igor_kossov]

I'm a news reporter and I've absolutely worked with caricatures like JJJ. One of them had the cigar and everything.

[@metroidhunter965]

Jamison, in the first half is an accurate representation of modern news media.

[@cdldriver2348]

None of those Super Villains showed up until Spider-man came along...

[@chinsaw2727]

“When an animal realizes that its life is under threat, it lashes out at all that threatens its survival. It will not rest until it either feels safe or perishes. This city has an animal loose within its borders, a parasite that fights to stay alive. This beast is called crime. Crime has nested in Gotham for a long time. Without any predators, crime had grown to be spoiled and bold. Until I arrived. Crime see’s me and sees only its demise. To protect itself, crime has lashed out at this city, reestablish its iron grip through brute force. But, I shall persist. Crime is a disease, and I am the cure. These supervillains that have risen in my wake are but only the fever, the last desperate bearing of teeth by a dying animal. This will pass, because I will persist. I promised to never take a life, but I have made one exception. Crime will die by my hands.” -Batman

[@initialssg4379]

When an animal realizes that its life is under threat, it lashes out at all that threatens its survival. It will not rest until it either feels safe or perishes. This city has an animal loose within its borders, a parasite that fights to stay alive. This beast is called Batman.

[@jlev1028]

Funny enough, Scorpion was created as a result of Jameson's influence. He basically paid a scientist to put a test subject in an experimental suit so he could beat the wall crawler and become New York's sole animal-themed crimefighter. Unfortunately, it worked too well, as the suit basically became glued to Mac Gargan's body.

[@gregrowe1168]

Vision basically said the Avengers were to blame for villains attacking. If they didn’t exist, the villains wouldn’t either. The Joker without Batman is relatively harmless. Batman makes him act out.

[@yourweirdplant]

We all know Green Goblin is the true hero, he was trying to kill that Spider menace!

[@raynarksatriawibowo6688]

Spiderman causing cancer is an actual one of his comic book story arc

[@ricardonb6375]

Spider-Man: Reign

[@wolfo11]

1:28 pretty close to home

[@Nash1t0]

That punchline is absolute gold i think i found my favorite Spider-Man parody

[@lordoffreaks8560]

“Spider-Man raises the price at the pump” would be the headline that finally turns public opinion against Parker.

[@captainqwertjr649]

Every major and minor acquaintance of peter parker becomes a super villain. None of what JJJ says is unbelievable in that context.

[@Blake_Stone]

This isn't even really an exaggeration, it's just a normal portrayal of J. Jonah Jameson.

[@Heatrecks]

Remember folks: Paralysis is a valid reason to commit libel!

[@ricardodasilva3161]

Imagine if somewhere in the Spiderverse, J.J is right about SpiderMan

[@MrDj232]

Spiderman became president, and behind the mask is Joe Biden.

[@TheACcam]

And he's a journalist who can't get a job and self publishes his warnings to a public that doesn't believe him.

[@camerondodge2070]

That actually sounds like a somewhat interesting idea, maybe for a one-off issue. Or maybe my sense of taste has deteriorated in the current Spidey landscape.

[@rjfrost7090]

I want a Spider-Man version of J Jonah Jameson that's has a Peter Parker taking pictures of him trying to make Spider-Man look like a hero, but JJJ keeps making his alter ego out to be a villain with the Daily Bugle for some reason. Either that or JJJ has an alternate personality that's Spider-Man he isn't aware of that isn't aware of him either.

[@ironmaster6496]

Spider-man if he actually appeared in the boys

[@Theidiotraccooncatstudio]

2:20 red haired woman (i forgot her name) and Peter just look at him Like *what*

[@castantino]

Totally believable of how an average day should work in the Bugle offices

[@LeiSnows]

These are honestly always a joy to see pop up in my feed.

[@shaunstudios163]

The hair line makes Peter looks like JJ’s son

[@Nikkidafox]

I totally saw something like "Spiderman causes divorce" coming but it was still hilarious. And I can't believe that Spiderman sent all of those missiles into Israel and then had the AUDACITY to frame Hamas!

[@g3nj1]

I'm surprised Peter didn't just say "fuk it", and stopped fighting crime altogether knowing that JJ would never stop blaming Spider-Man for everything.

[@user-Jay178]

Always love your content.