The Danger of Sharing Personal Info with Narcissists

[@sheldonbaker9513]

The narcissists in my life 100% used sensitive information against me on multiple occasions. She’s a cruel person.

[@sula1529]

Basically dont even stick around to share a cup of tea, a chat , a smile nothing . Keep the hell away from those creeps

[@Oswaldfiveo]

When it’s your mother, who knows all about you and has gaslit you your entire life, it’s hard. But I’ve gone no contact with everyone and am learning about how AWESOME I really am!!!!! Without that anchor around my neck I’m free to thrive for the first time in my life. ❤❤❤❤ and…I don’t miss any of them.

[@englishrose5483]

Me too. My father was the same, perhaps worse. So are my six siblings. Parents are dead which has been a relief but my siblings continue the abuse if i go near them.

[@Tokolos]

"Just look what you made me do! " - Annie Wilkes

[@lalani888ARTblue]

Nine time's out of ten they look for partner's who have experienced previous traumas in their lives. They use that information to exploit you. Soon into your 'apparent' relationship with them you will discover that they are sharing your sensitive information with everyone. They have ZERO understanding of respecting your boundaries - period. The only things they choose to keep private are the things they are doing behind your back. Your own right to privacy will never be respected.

[@Shadowman...]

Maybe they actually have understanding about boundaries and that's why they like pushing past them. They all love to break the rules of life. It's my bet that they act like that because they couldn't get away with a damn thing when they were bratty self centered kids. I have no doubt that everyone in my family knows all my personal information. My mother simply can't resist betraying me to feel like the queen bee

[@shiftycaponesrh2397]

I wish I could have this woman as a therapist.

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

I'm honored!! Come join me live on zoom each week in the School of Transformation where I meet live with people from all over the world that are doing the healing work together 🤗I'll leave the link here for you to see if it's a good fit for you - for monthly members there is currently a 7 Day FREE trial: www.micheleleenieves.com/school-of-transformation

[@jeremyburmaster596]

You just explained the last ten years of my life/marriage. Filed last week. I still feel like everything is my fault.

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

Leaving stops the abuse but we do have to then take the time to do the inner healing work! If you need help come check out my live weekly zoom mtgs - there's currently a 7 Day free trial: www.micheleleenieves.com/school-of-transformation

[@vampireslayer1989]

Never share too much. They do leverage it .

[@davidhynd4435]

Believing that I had met my soulmate, I opened up about all my hurts, misdeeds, fears etc. She weaponised every single one. Also, she would get a look of absolute glee when she was doing so. She obviously got a huge rush from the sense of power and an equal rush from being cruel. Given that I thought we were a perfect match, the truth is that we are actually polar opposites.

[@ShalomISmyname]

All normal people are opposite of a narcissist! They’re demonic sickos!

[@macoeur1122]

OMG...this is the single most familiar pattern I've witnessed in my sister. She does it with each and every member of the family who will fall for it ...which means my other sister, our mother and (in the past) myself. I made the fatal error of trying to point this out to both my mother and my other sister years ago when I recognized it for what it was. I say "fatal error" because they simply cannot allow themselves to see it. They have been too deeply conditioned for decades. They unconsciously know that seeing anything negative in my narcissist sister will result in being shamed, and then literally convinced that they have been unfairly "disloyal" to my narcissist sister and probably deserve the shaming. This is the hold she has on them and it doesn't appear it will ever change because she "manages" this hold with such "skill"... that she literally only has to very subtly "hint" that someone is about to step out of line to get them to step right back in line...(this is that "training" you were talking about, Michelle)...and then, of course, they are rewarded in just as subtle a way (more training)....so that anyone who tries to point out the pattern finds themselves the target of the narcissist AND of those who are refusing to see and WILL be made out as "paranoid" in return for their efforts. I've had to just accept that this is a very sad story, but that I can't help anyone who doesn't want help...nor can I make anyone see what they don't want to see....and of course I'm no longer willing to put myself in the position of even trying to once I saw the results of doing so. Really, one could argue...,"who am I to want to free anyone from a dysfunction that they believe is working for them?" This acceptance has helped me to focus on keeping my self free from it without feeling "I must" put a stop to this abusive dynamic (the way I once did). I realize now that's an impossibility.

[@radrabbit6946]

Oh boy, very similar thing in my family, and I made the same mistake, though more on the level of asking for shifts in the ludicrously imbalanced family expectations, held in place by what you decribe, I just did not realize the depth of it! Thought I was taking some responsibility for my own needs and patterns- I found out differently 😂. It’s so painful and frustrating though, I’m still working on the acceptance and distance (other family not understanding etc).

[@lorimiller7261]

My ex narc husband would threaten to tell my children about a tragedy from my teen years. He was thinking they would judge me and think less of me. He always brought up hurtful stuff from my past. It was really creepy and sick… this helped me make the decision to leave. Freedom the best thing that ever happened to me 🙏🏻🙌❤️

[@KC-ns9do]

Yeah they are mean people and will do/say anything to harm you. After gaining this knowledge, I'm careful with what I share with people. I remember making up an insecurity to test the character of a guy I was dating, was getting some weird vibes from him. And sure enough he threw it in my face after I told him no when he wanted to take me on a trip soon after we started dating.

[@macoeur1122]

BTW, I love that phrase "hurt and rescue mission" . Haven't heard this one until now. Here's hoping it becomes a well known phrase the way that "lovebombing, idealizing/devaluing/discarding, gaslighting, dogwhistling...etc..have. Such phrases are so necessary because they can save us from having to start from square one when trying to describe these patterns. Not only can they save us time and thus help us communicate more effectively, but just the fact that they are well known, definable terms, lends huge credence to the patterns they describe.

[@johnmaurer2035]

You don't have to tell people EVERYTHING.

[@Shadowman...]

True, but when your screamed at day in and day out for years, your conditioned to feel like you have to tell them everything.

[@Immastarandstudent]

Yes!!! In 2021 I ended up mirroring that same energy back to my ex and after I felt even more shame for allowing myself to go out of character in the moment to a point I couldn’t even process one of my biggest rules “ 2 wrongs don’t make a right “ That was the last time I’ll ever allow anyone to get myself out of character. I was more hurt by what I said eventho I was sucker punched by this covert ex . She tore my childhood wounds up

[@ShalomISmyname]

Every single one of us comes out of character dealing with those weirdos. Reactive abuse is real! It’s hard for them to not rub off on you after spending any significant amount of time around them 😢

[@Immastarandstudent]

@@ShalomISmyname that’s exactly what it was & she was trying to pull me lower than her , I don’t think she thought it was possible so when I did that’s what gave her the green light to light me up with any child hood trauma I shared in love and in confidence. Thank you @shalom.4.4. Needed to hear your thoughts 🙏🏽🤗

[@karabomoncho]

This is my everyday experience 😢

[@freetyme55]

Yes! I said to him once, after I figured it out, that he used what I told against me. He did what he usually did when I hit the nail on the head. He said nothing and left the room. I guess he was regrouping.

[@DMK2CPT27]

💯 Facts !!!

[@monaj33]

Thank you...family members can really suck ❤ to u all

[@RaymondWatson-iw3gn]

It's sad but true.

[@bellbranda]

You know your stuff

[@karabomoncho]

I'm stuck with a narcissistic mother as live with her and have no way out😢

[@redwarrior2424]

For so long, I couldn't accept that my own mother could be so cruel. Why did it take me a lifetime to get it?

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

Cognitive dissonance - the thought that our own mother could be so cruel and intentionally want to harm us goes against what we know mothers to be!! Also - we are dependent on the very person that is hurting us when we are children, so as a result the brain changes - deleting the pain, causing us to become so busy trying to find the secret formula to make them happy that we don't even realize what's going on!!

[@KID_Ludwig]

She is so beautiful.😚

[@dclarke1896]

🫡! Thank you 🙏

[@MissVarghese111]

Narcissist sells our wounds and take advantages out of it.They will not be calm down until destroyed.v

[@ekkamailax]

Have you noticed that the Lion King is a story about how the scapegoat (simba) overcomes his CPTSD after spending years in isolation, then confronts and kills his narcissistic abuser (Scar). Scar used all the classic narc tactics against Simba: 1) Pretend to be loving family member to lure him in 2) Murder his father, Mufasa 3) Run a smear campaign to blame Simba and turn everyone against him Simba developed CPTSD symptoms and core shame, so he ran way and spent years hiding from life. Then one day he realized that he needs to confront his shame. So he return homes, allows himself to feel the physical sensations of CPTSD as the whole pride looks at him with disdain, but keeps fighting for his rights until he sets the record straight, kills Scar, and reclaims his power.

[@reettaelina]

I have used your methods and they are productive.🎉

[@sylvaind9086]

Too late for me. I've already done that. And boy, am I paying for it! (In my 60s, 30 year relationship.)

[@radrabbit6946]

I know it’s not much comfort, trust me I really do, but fight the urge to continue blaming yourself, if that’s happening. If that’s the only thing I can do to stop the cycle at this point, then I’m doing that. It’s hard to figure out when you still have to protect yourself from these people in your life, but the fact that it hurts and make you feel like trash just going there- not on you, whatsoever.

[@reettaelina]

Now I know what my ex is saying to his new girlfriend and I hope she can see that too.

[@blakematthews9608]

"No wonder kids made fun of you in school" is what I got from my narc.

[@benjamin734]

TRUST NO ONE. 🗡️ J3

[@redwarrior2424]

Sadly, I have to agree.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Have nothing to do with anyone you discern as narcissistic. Those people’s behaviour is evil to the core , diabolical.

[@LisaSmith-yb2uz]

Awesome video, Michelle ! ❤

[@reettaelina]

My mom and dad and my ex-husband my brothers my son and my daughter. I am not perfect but it hurts still.

[@wanguibeatrice8978]

But all this starts from childhood from their guardians pass it to adulthood which is difficult to change...

[@DJSmoothie]

I once told her I had friends that were more family than my half brother and sister, who really never wanted to be a part in my life. Ive had 3 kids and neither of the two have made much of an attempt to meet them, etc. She once turned to me and said 'theres a reason your brother and sister doesnt want to be in your life!' of course I know now its because they're narcissists themselves but to be honest with you, even before I knew truly why - her comment never really bothered me - like, I knew it was meant to be mean but at that point anything she would of said would of had no effect on me because I really didnt give a shit. LoL!

[@cindy7733]

Please, Michele, please give us ways in which we can get out of our situations. Some of us have been so isolated and have no support and are being controlled and not allowed to use a car to work a job and save money to get out. How? What can we do? Any ideas???

[@Shadowman...]

This may sound a bit crazy, but try to strengthen yourself physically. Start lifting weights, do pushups, sit ups. Anything that makes YOU STRONGER. The narcissist won't suspect you will be doing something so simple yet effective. Remember that scene in the movie Misery with James Caan. He lifted the type writer over his head to start regaining his strength. Any little thing to get an edge. No matter how jealous or controlling people are, there is one thing that can't control - TIME.

[@BA-vx7gb]

@@Shadowman...Great comment.. 👍🏻💪🙏

[@redwarrior2424]

​@@Shadowman... Great suggestion. Speaking from experience, building physical strength does help a person gain confidence and emotional strength.

[@MimiTells-t7w]

💯+000

[@cairosilver2932]

If you're thirsty enough you'll drink seawater