Confused, Broken & Craving Validation After Narcissistic Abuse - Now What?

[@astrialindah2773]

Michelle you were born for this! You have such a calming but articulate way of getting this information to those that need it❤❤

[@jenifersnyder8778]

Michele thank you for addressing my email with compassion and straight forwardness. I think I know where that wound lies and what opened me up to susceptibility for this sort of drawn out toxicity. I've never experienced it to this level before and everything you said I was like OMG yes that's right and yes that's exactly it..you have given me the reason why I feel I need validation and that's so helpful bc I didn't understand that either! I felt like what on Earth has happened to me? More importantly, you gave me a direction to go moving forward where I won't need that from anyone other than myself.. This has been eye opening for me. Thank you so much for all you do.

[@dianadundidit5343]

This is also my story! Except he didn't carry me to the loo. 😊 In fact he'd avoid me when I was sick!

[@Eyeamthewitness]

Thanks for sharing. Have a similar story

[@christianemarshall9691]

Delete delete delete. That explains so much. I even deleted when I was on my way to journal it. I could not remember the words within 5 minutes.

[@jennifernunez220]

I was left cause I expressed that I don't feel valued. I now realize I didn't feel safe. He ended up blowing up for stating how I felt and for asking for us to have a heart to heart.

[@lindsayrichmond7500]

Yes! You don’t feel safe.

[@princessmorningstar7666]

20 year marriage . . . I am divorced. Jen if I can do this, sort through the madness, truly accept, understand it all . . . YOU can too! You’re already almost there! Couple more steps . . . And you’re home free! Love Yourself , grieve the loss of what this has done to You, truly honor YOU! You got this!!!! 🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊🕊

[@jenifersnyder8778]

Each day that passes I feel a bit more self assured..then I have days where I go back a step or two but I try to rebound and one day there won't be any more back steps. Thank you so very much for your kindness and encouragement

[@jeremydavis6751]

It took me 2 1/2 years of feeling invalidated, confused, and feeling crazy. It was not until someone that was not connected to me or her came and told me everything. They told me they were called and text when my process got started. They showed me and told me everything. Things that the average person could not know unless told specifically by my ex. That was the validation I needed and it's what sparked a fast track of healing! Not knowing how, what, ?????? You can't get an understanding was the most torcher I had ever experienced. But I am so thankful to how God set up my Godly encounter with a person that finally validated and brought clarity!

[@DatDyme980]

Self esteem is super important. It prevents us from allowing others to think for us and create OUR boundaries. Trust and create YOUR OWN boundaries. YOU decide what you're going to settle for. YOU decide "how it goes" for YOUR LIFE.

[@racso1160]

After beeing in a relationship like this , left broken into pieces .. started dealing with the same type of abuse and manipulation by my own family . Lies , blame shifting projection ,.. it his the worst feeling ever .. beeing broken and questionning your own mental health ! I went to therapy and they told me i was in a narcisstic family ... the people i loved the most .. spit at me when i needed them the most.. try explaning this to someone .. still to this day .. everyone thinks im crazy .. i just stop'ed talking about it ! Its crazy .. life will never be tje same !

[@kimgordon3695]

Everyone here believe You! You are not alone. Stay strong. Be Love. 🙋

[@kimgordon3695]

& yes never let life be the same again 🤗

[@racso1160]

@@kimgordon3695 tanks for the positive vibes i apreciate it .. its a new begining for me. Its unreal but i have to face it . I hope you are doin well and wish you all the best 🙏🏽

[@Reafawaz]

It’s confusing at first. The feeling of being unsafe in my/our home without being physically touched. The emotional abuse has caused me to have felt fear enough to lock my bedroom door and avoid leaving it. He has only laughed at me and says that he is afraid of me, that I’m awful, crazy, and absent. Causing more confusion. Leaving me feeling disoriented and anxious. This has been a life long relationship and I have only woken up to his cruel abuse recently. He completely stonewalled and alienated me for years. It’s like being in a horrifying twilight zone seeing and recognising this demon for what it is. It’s hopeless. It has fundamentally changed me.

[@SavedByJesusHeimatLiebe]

please plan your leave, respect yourself enough to allow yourself to live free from his abuse, you do not need his permission! or to justify yourself in any way. You are responsible for your own Life. You can not change or controll what he does only if you allow such bad treatment, do not explain or justify, take your freedom and life back. You are lovable just bc you are! And you deserve peace, happiness in your Life, we must be the parents towards ourself we never had-Gentle, Patient. You are NOT responsible for his emotions, deeds or life-He allone is.

[@kimgordon3695]

& you can change it back 💞🙋

[@tbacon2784]

I used to tell everyone I was not afraid of you 2nd husband as he did not physically abuse me like the 1st husband did. Now I realize I am afraid of 2nd husband, it's just a different fear, he always made me feel crazy when I did anything, like when I jumped and appeared nervous around him. He would get upset and tell me he wasnt like my ex-husband, so I simply learned to ignore the fear, to deny it. I am realizing that though different, I am still afraid. He mentioned (plenty oftimes) that in the army he learned to hit /hurt people without leaving any kind of visible marks, bruises, etc. and that IF he wanted to hurt me he could. After 27yrs with this man, I am working on being gone by Chtistmas, if not before. He has alienated most of my friends and family and took full control of my income many years ago as well, so it is taking a while, but I have made up my mind. His children were never supposed to be expected to help around the house or be expected to treat me with respect. If we aren't a team, and I'm not supposed to leave the house since I retired so I won't spend any money, then I need to look for happiness somewhere else. I won't find it here. I need space, and I need to go places, and be allowed to have fun. Right now, if hessees I am happy, it seems to upset his balance, so he has to raise his voice and chew on me, telling me all the things I do wrong...

[@sunnyadams5842]

​@@tbacon2784Hey You!! Christmas is Coming. It's🤔 still before Thanksgiving 2023. I just found Michele a few months ago, so I'm just reading your letter now. How's it going for you?? Are you going to make your goal?? All you said in your letter is SO CLASSIC. I just wanted you to know that to me, all you are saying is very clear headed and logical and kind. You owe him NOTHING. I VALIDATE YOUR Need TO LEAVE AND GIVE You PERMISSION - if that is needed, please use it😂 What she says here is very helpful!! 27:24 Best of luck with all this. I feel some connection and am curious and concerned. 💚

[@sethguthrie9672]

OMG this. I forgot about being denied having my own money or possessions. I was told I was selfish. That I was causing us to be separate. That since I called my car my car. Nothing was to be mine anymore.

[@mariaolson251]

You’ve explained this situation better than most Thank you ❤ Clarity brings peace, calmness in a world where nothing made sense

[@shelbythorne2473]

My heart goes out to this woman. I'm so grateful she had the courage to share and Michelle- Omgoodness, thank you so much! Your videos are literally a life saver and I sincerely appreciate you answering questions directly. It makes me feel connected to those hurting and returns some of my life force with each story shared because often I feel so alone with this. Knowing others are out there makes me want to get better and not feel so helpless. Thank you.

[@seaofsolace]

Hello Jen! I validate you. I have been with someone who was 2 people in 1 body too: kind and mean. So warm and loving, attentive, caring but also so cold, distant, mean, angry, rigid, manipulative. It was so confusing. I felt like my world had been turned upside down and could not figure out which way was up. I had to take a leave from work too. It hurt so badly. I validate what you are going through. I know what it feels like. I try to remember that when someone is making me doubt myself and my own reality it is the sign of a very toxic person. No matter what. Stay strong. You will get through this. 💗

[@alleng9755]

Jane I validate you also. I went into my narc relationship because my dad died when I was young and my mom was often in the hospital. It has taken me decades to figure this out. Do your childhood work find where your weakness is and protect it. God be with you as you recover.

[@jenifersnyder8778]

Thank you for this. I've never experienced such highs and lows. I don't have experience being entangled in such a relationship as it was. Thats a very good piece of advice you gave about a red flag about doubting myself. Once I get back on steady ground I will definitely remember that. Thank you so much

[@jenifersnyder8778]

@@alleng9755 when she said that I froze...I knew exactly what it stemmed from...or I think I do. Now to try to figure out how to heal that wound so I can recover and be confident. I thought I once was confident in my life but I think I was walking around susceptible to this sort of thing without knowing until it happened in such a drawn out manner. Thank you, I'll be focusing on healing that little girl and trust myself more

[@livfreeali1481]

Michelle I think you are the few who understand the way abusers use projection. It project it's nonsense onto the target not just in romantic relationship though. The way they do it you really have to be tuned in to see it!. Jealousy is the root cause of it. It's Like why should you have it or feel a certain way if I don't have it or feel that way kind of thing!. Instead of I want what you have too. This is normal healthy. They mentally do an exchange so you become them and they you kind of thing. It's powerful this method and it works. The victim doesn't even have a say in the matter. It's crazy!. The victim ends up looking like the crazy one. They really do get off in your suffering the sadists. It's a form of narc punishment. Hope everyone is keeping well

[@cathychase663]

My ex bought expensive suits while I was the provider and a teacher and couldn't buy anything for me even before marriage and it was my money - I had to hide things I bought during my marriage. Money that I earned. I have had so many emotional flashbacks from that awful abuser ex of mine that I self isolate.

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

I so relate!!!

[@kevinm7370]

As a man who has been put in this position many times in my life, it hurts to think that so many people pin narcissistic abuse on men like it's just a disease men carry or something. The majority of that abuse that has been used on me came from women in close relationships. Yes around workplace many men act that way, but in the home my experience has always been that I am not enough, and it was women that mostly did this to me.

[@tomgillotti]

You're not alone, man.

[@marybeasley2704]

Quite the contrary in my experience. I would say 80-90% of the narcissists in my sphere are female. I find men to be much more stable and approachable.

[@bunnyboo6295]

Makes sense if your straight male Narcs have a fake self for the public, it's the one close that gets the abuse. It's likely more common for women to get trapped due to female nature of wanted to nurture and forgive Men are less likely to put up with any disrespect plus finance wise women are more likely to be stay at home parent so don't have the money to leave.

[@azaleaslight7243]

Hearing you, I've had Both, growing up was surrounded by narcissistic Histrionic females, few males, ive been more used abused scapegoated by more females than males thats for sure, its also easier quicker for a female one to get trap a man, they use Sex much more be the mans sexual fantasy, not looks wise, but low down dirty wise, they use the Im a poor victim of all males please save me protect me, play on mens sexual side protection side Funny its what the government uses & how they emotionally manipulate men to go to war too !

[@azaleaslight7243]

The Female of the species is ALWAYS the most cunning & Dangerous of the species, something everyone forgets Ps how narcissistic do you have to be, to create your own tv show with you yourself as the STAR Producer director Getting lots of narcissistic supply & attention money Just saying ...

[@izawaniek2568]

Once we start validating ourselves and we use the left adult part of our brains to lovingly parent our inner child, the exterior changes as well. It really works. Thank you Michele❤

[@B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786]

Im honestly very tired of being tired. Away from this presence in my life for a while. And still feeling bad. Considering how narcissistic the world is now. I get the eww feelings when im socializing. Because theres no loss in this world for marcissists. Im tired of being put down. Its as if the world is full of the same man. With a different face.

[@cecilyhenderson]

I’ve lived with one for 25 years. I am now broken. But it is very validating to listen to Michelle and others. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@guillaumecds5833]

Spot on 🕺🏻

[@cathychase663]

You sure give it your all in each video- you look great, and your background is lovely and you are well-put together verbally and cognitively- calming presence and you even in put a lot of actors to show things. I know that is work! Thank you!

[@peterknyk1942]

So sad to hear this! 😔 it’s so difficult to let go of and understand the need for validation! Thank you so much for sharing with us! 💕 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 thank you so much, Michele, for helping this person! 💕

[@jeffreysherman8224]

Hey, Michelle. 👋 30 minutes. This is gonna be a good one. When we're in an emotionally abusive or invalidating relationship, so much common sense and reasonableness goes out the window. Thank you for how logically and compassionately you explain it. It's such a huge wake up when we can look at things rationally. We can see how our thinking has been warped over time. Whew. Toxic relationships are such a mindscrew. My default is to dissociate. I need to be reminded of this info a lot. Great video! Thanks, Michelle. ✌&❤

[@bunnyboo6295]

It doesn't help when you are also being poisoned. Having a mind that's unclear makes you seek help more.

[@sunnyadams5842]

​@bunnyboo6295 well!! You've hit on the thing that makes the abuse cycle just keeps spinning and spinning and spinning and what keeps us in it and people don't understand that. People don't understand that after a while you aren't bringing your normal, full self to the table to deal with this person anymore. IT's a process of diminishing returns. As you say they are poisoning you and that poison is acting up on us while more is being shoved into us. So, you end up having less healthy you with which to solve the problem and bigger and bigger problems to solve. That's where I started to always feel like I was drowning. There was no longer any way to win, it seemed. But I was wrong. There's Always a way out... Till there isn't... Edit: PS: this gets into the need for external validation. Michele has alot of good stuff to say about this!! Just nuke it all - no need for external validation, approval or permission. Ever!!

[@Joshdifferent]

Yup holding them accountable is impossible. Same thing with My ex of 5 years. We would Break up. She would say sorry and then we would get back together. And she would change for about 2 weeks and then be back into her sneaky abusive ways. Nobody in my life understood it. Considering I was the narcissistic family scapegoat. So I had to go no contact from My ex and my family at the same time 2 years ago. I understand the seeking validation. And wanting people to understand you. I tried. Uncles,cousins,ect... it was “all my fault.”

[@kimgordon3695]

🙋🙏

[@mariaolson251]

One way I know that I’m onw to thriving and healing is the thought of this cycle repeating in my life by his return is disgust I know 100% healing is on me - every day process Not needing validation is the side effect I’m working on Eyes wide open - heart and brain healing ❤

[@kimgordon3695]

Michele's segment on addressing the shaming changed everything!

[@jenn5639]

I have issues with validation, over explaining, etc.. working through it.

[@janm9610]

My now ex husband told on himself when he told me I was a covert narcissist!

[@patricestar6510]

I am laughing as I hear this because I just attempted to have a conversation with a narcissistic friend..? Attempting to express my feelings about her violation of my boundaries and myself...SHE DID EVERYTHING YOU ARE MENTIONING ON HERE!! PROJECTION...BLAMING ME AND TOTALLY TURNING THE CONVERSATION ABOUT HERSELF BEING THE VICTIM AND ME BEING THE UNREASONABLE ONE TO REQUEST RESPECT!! IT SHOWED ME WHAT A WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY IT IS TO BE IN ANY NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIP...FRIEND, FAMILY, OR LOVER !!💝

[@andreaarias2085]

May God bless you in your recovery! I am going through counseling when I can afford it. Just once a month. Helps to have someone to bounce ideas and thoughts off of. Journal and read the Bible every day

[@chadkrantz2741]

Lauren

[@chadkrantz2741]

If it is you please contact me . It is nice to have someone to bounce idea's off of.

[@ldbobay]

I need somebody to validate me because everybody invalidates me. That's what happens. Every time I say something there's always a devil's advocate right beside me. I constantly have to explain myself and defend myself to the narcissist. "But why are you doing it that way, " they ask. My mother-in-law always made me feel so stupid for the design options I chose. Her favorite phrase was "I would've picked this one not that one". And she would always talk about other people and there ugly choices of clothing in hair design. But I did that too. Am I that bad? I got caught up in being like her and wanting to please her! No because I always say I'm sorry if I hurt somebody's feelings. I ruminate over hurting someone's feelings. I can't stand it until I make it right. So I'm not a narcissist. I worry about it all the time. Being confused broken and craving validation hurts so badly!! How do you get over it and make it stop? I want to get away from yucky people and be myself. I always feel terrible around nasty people. I have to learn so many new strategies and how to parent myself. This is going to be a long hard road.

[@deannabirdsong5660]

Wow. You take a very intricately nuanced problem and break it down so well. Your videos are a treasure to people recovering from emotional abuse. Your scapegoating recovery video is also amazing. Thank you for the resource of your insight and excellent ability to communicate these precious truths, in a non-victim-blaming way, which is SO rare these days.

[@destinyterrell9785]

I think that you have a big heart by your personal email response and God has a big mansion for you. You are a good example of putting people over profit.

[@paulasussman6414]

This video is brilliant M. My whole life in therapy due to narcs and you are really breaking it down It takes a great deal of effort to get rid of the bad programming. As I am learning the power of not reacting I got off 2 blood pressure pills. Two more to go. I also think fibromyalgia is caused often by narcissistic abuse. No proof just theories from experience

[@wms72]

I don't want to "get out there again." No man is worth the risk of getting another narcissist. My health is broken from the one I had.

[@kimgordon3695]

Start w Yeshua as your next male Friend. He will become the model for your next partner. 💞

[@kimgordon3695]

Matthew 11 : 29, 30

[@gingerlee5329]

I suggest a dog.

[@lisahill182]

5:28 ... what if you do need them to know, ...because they're doing those things too, ...though you sense it's not the same with intent, ...but they do gaslight and other things without maybe realizing because their upbringing wasn't wholesome either, but their temperament recieved and translated it differently...? But they harm you none the less...!?

[@dianadundidit5343]

Jeezussssssss.. this sounds just like my story! I hadn't lived with another man since my ex husband, lived with my young daughter. Ex narc wanted to move in, I really didn't want him too ( gut feeling). Six year relationship with a covert narcissist, he was also TWO people in one! Glad it's done. The discard was definitely rough though!

[@carli2472]

Beautifully, beautifully explained......fantastic insight and real, practical ways to move on from this.....🙏 thank u

[@Kolby2004]

Such a great Video. So much amazing info in this! I experienced all of these as well, it is sad how often this actually happens. But thanks to Channels like yours, people are waking up and healing :)

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you so much for your expert advice and immense help through those free video coaching sessions. You are saving people’s lives as there are many who can not afford to pay. God bless you.

[@HaleyMary]

I love that you made a longer video! I've experienced that intermittent kind and unkind behavior before from a guy in the past. It made me wonder whether he liked me or was just faking those feelings. Of course, if he was on the scale of narcissism, odds are he probably didn't care. The part of the guy leaving because the woman saying she didn't feel safe reminds me of a time when I told a guy that his friend making sexual comments about me that weren't true and he told me not to take things so personally, he had a tone to his voice that made me feel unsafe. Thankfully, this guy decided I wasn't worth his time and left me alone. I guess I dodged a bullet there, but ever since that incident I have a hard time trusting that a guy won't say one thing and do something else.

[@kimgordon3695]

Trust is established over a healthy amount of time. Take your time & keep healthy boundaries from the start. It elevates & protects You! 💞

[@staceyroberts3207]

Thank you again, Michelle! You are amazing!

[@kilpel2]

Another great video Michele!

[@destinyterrell9785]

So helpful. I have listened to four different podcasts and I can really relate to you and your beliefs.

[@ladyoftheveil8342]

Sounds similar to my ex narcissist boyfriend. Every problem was my fault. I recorded my ex too . These recordings give me strength in hinds sights not to contact him .

[@kimgordon3695]

23:00

[@28105wsking]

Wow! What a web that spider spun on you until you were totally confused and bound by confusion. I'm so glad you got out! Trust your common sense and cut your losses! You were right and he was crazy. Thank God you got away! He was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You became attached to the one who tortured you and flipped back and forth to confuse you and bind you tighter and loved doing it to you. Really evil.

[@carolcottle8157]

Every birthday, anniversary, Christmas, a huge bunch of beautiful flowers and tiny loving message inside a beautiful card so all his friends will see "how wonderful he is" - NOT!!!

[@jennifernunez220]

Omg I want to cry hearing this. I'm feeling the same thing, more or less went through the same and was broken up via text too after 2.5 yrs! Ha!

[@Cellia836]

In order for mine to get close to me. He did all kinds of housing projects for me at first. Just so he can earn my trust and for me to lower my guard and get me to like him. It's scary what they do just to get close to you, just hurt you for no reason at all.

[@justme_brentg]

Ten years. Ended in an instant. I'll never be the same.

[@new_hampshire]

With nothing particular going on as far as arguing or anything else the person I have been living with for 12 years got angry with me and moved out suddenly and then broke up with me in a text. Can you believe that? I knew there was something wrong with him, but now I can put my finger on it.

[@A1Happy777]

I was dating a guy who said i was selfish and that I should let him live with me for free because he helped a friend for 3 months who lived with him. I said , then find your friend and live with him, because I never lived with you supporting me and I don't owe you. They really like to confuse a person, don't they?

[@marcomoon6062]

My ex told me I was her person and asked if it was the same for me. I told her she wasnt my person and she said that hurt her. I thought "shouldn't she ask what can she do better to be my person?" But naw. It always felt off that she made it about her and not about validating my emotions, which is why she wasnt my person. And of course I ended up trying to comfort her 😢 lol

[@Carvajalh1987]

Thank you for sharing this video. It’s helping me understand my experience. Thank you

[@imsaltylit3101]

Yup… hindsight… From the very beginning he started criticizing me for calling my Jeep “my Jeep”… he’d say “why can’t anything be ours?” …. and to this day he will tell people he used to have a Jeep . Grrr 😖. It was mine! I was a young single mother of three, had just got out of my horrific but very brief first marriage, and left my narcissist mother.. I got a job, bought a used car and built my credit, finally I bought my dream car by myself. And he took it all from me from the start

[@ЛюдаЛ-ж6л]

Thank you! :) ---- Jen, I believe you & understand how painful such experience is (I've been through smth kind of similar). I wish you to heal and meet real happy reciprocal love. And I wish the same for me & everyone who is lookind for it :)

[@heidis7811]

How do you use your adult mind to validate your child mind?

[@sapphiya]

You consciously identify the child parts of yourself and what your inner child needed and therefore still needs to feel heard, safe, whole and happy, and speak to your inner child exactly as you would an actual child of yours to provide those needs and wants. A mirror helps a lot to speak to yourself, or a picture of yourself at the ages of those needs too. Works with holding ourselves accountable also.

[@azaleaslight7243]

Do a video on, when your Discarded but KEPT your kept in the relationship with Gaslighting Because this is what confused me, I was never "discarded" left for another, yes he had others, but he discarded me but wouldn't leave me or let me leave when I'd bring up how its like I we didn't exist, talk about how he obviously didnt want me like me want share himself his life with me id get Gaslighted hoovered then discarded again He litrelly Discarded me on our wedding night Won me threw me on shelf used abused me little bits good thrown in to manipulate carrot stick carrot stick type He distorted my reality so much was left a doubtful confused mess, I stayed thinking no he mustn't be a narcissist because he never discarded me left me for another ect Now I understand he did discard me was absent not there lived in bedroom, was a ghost, stopping me from living having a life stopping me being happy, while he lived a Completely separate life outside our home with many many other women and men

[@kathpercy7941]

This could have been written by me in a 30 year physical emotional and financial abusive marriage discarded cycle continuously absent in mine and our daughters life we didn’t exist only to serve his needs taxi maid services he was doing what he wanted to do with who but never left until I had found out about the infidelity but worse was to come with death threats in front of a witness still trying to get through a divorce with his father taking over as he has always enabled his addictive lifestyle of alcohol gambling and found out after cocaine so leaving with physical ailments all due to stress just wanting to find some peace Thankyou for your sharing and the podcasts they help so much ❤❤❤

[@freeflyer151]

I would love you to go through my story, I have never found anyone yet with a similar story. My nm would lock me up all the time for no reason. I am still very traumatized my ex was abusive too but the only thing I still have nightmares about is my mother.

[@brooke11158]

Wow!!! All this💔

[@nikkidull6346]

Going through second discard also. First one was 8 years ago and now going through it again. It is just as painful as the first. However, our son is now 9 years old and knows the discard. He has not called or asked about our son in over 30 days. I have been so lost and broken

[@jenifersnyder8778]

I am so sorry. I can't imagine going through this and also shielding a child or helping a child through emotional suffering. It really saddens my heart that people can do these things. You wonder what could they even be thinking? I pray you have support and kindness from family and friends to help you through this. We all are stronger than we know. Hang in there

[@nikkidull6346]

@@jenifersnyder8778 He has smeared my name to everyone in our small town, including his family. I have zero support system as my family is in another state. Everything is absolutely my fault according to him.

[@kimgordon3695]

This evidence is your tool for sole custody & wage garnishment. You will be in our prayers 🙏

[@janaejohnson9090]

Do they know they are covering up their trauma? That there is something wrong with them and they are just in denial?

[@kimgordon3695]

It's their methodology so Yes Control is their priority.

[@marymccormack2317]

Don't believe ur iner cricket. That what the narcissist wants u to u. U are a fab person and I send u ❤️

[@lindavincent678]

Physical, emotional, psychological and financial gaslighting 23 years and I’m feeling real sick inside right now because I think it’s trauma bond . C-post traumatic stress syndrome. How do you tell the difference between the two?

[@KJDogluv]

I’m crushed beyond belief. I feel so stupid. I thought he loved me.

[@delviestevez2605]

Thanks.

[@foxiesavai8547]

This doesn't have to be just couples right? It can also be family?

[@kimgordon3695]

Family bosses co workers neighbors community leaders most of Hollywood... YES everywhere. 🙋 (2 Timothy 3 : 1-5)

[@carolcottle8157]

So how do I validate my child memory?

[@cairosilver2932]

It's not her job to hold him accountable.

[@roxievalentine5909]

I lived similar story.. he's 20yrs older than me... N he withheld intimacy affection conversation.. had porn addiction n rather solo play.. dangled like a carrot n front of a bunny

[@janm9610]

He wanted NO consequences!

[@patricksicard_psy]

@kevinm7370 The unfortunate reality is that narcissism is more prevalent in males than in females. That’s a fact. You may not like it. It is what it is

[@B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786]

This thing about sex. Sone would say sex is just sex. I say its the glue that binds us to trying to hard to please these unpleasable men. Now i withhold just to be sure i dont get into another decade of damage. We only have this 1 life.

[@carolcottle8157]

... I fell for similar c..p like "you wouldn't have liked me in my younger years" and this idiot swept it under the carpet. Now I'm paying for it.

[@reettaelina]

My ex-husband didn't allow me do any mens homework and even if he was rude to me I should have been have to call him only honey not by his first name or children's daddy

[@swatiahuja6040]

Michele are you still reading people's mails. I don't know who to ask, how to save myself. I just want to die. I have two kids so I can't. Can anyone please tell me if this is narcissistic abuse : The person made me count my previous abusers ( parents, ex). And said that he was not hitting me. This person was critical of everything I did -like shamed me that I use paper tissues to wipe my kitchen. I do it because I have two kids and work full time. I know I shouldn't but I have no help. He gaslit ( i know it was this )me nonstop for 3 weeks , with me begging , pleading, giving proof but he didnt stop till I blocked him on whatsapp. He was unkind to my children - in the way he talked about them to me. Very unkind. I feel scared of telling him anything. He never helps out, not with anything but expects everything. Please , this is different from my ex - he was loudly abusive. This one hurts me and it looks like he did it only to make me better - but it is not so Can someone please help me

[@cathychase663]

why do people do these things? I don't have energy to be this way - ugh - it's so weird (I am a victim and am lonely but just stay alone bc I hate being treated this way - abuse cycle, the trying to get a reaction etc)

[@karenholtzclaw3135]

Not understanding I would've loved you and now you hate me...is that from you...what prompted it...

[@karenholtzclaw3135]

Is it my X

[@oceansoflorewi]

Without forcing the other person to follow suit- I do agree with the 'ours' thing. Our society is so anti-partnership and independent its shattering the traditional loving dynamics of the past. We need to be reconditioned into the idea of a loving partnership. Otherwise well all be singing WAP live on a giant bed twerking in disgusting outfits.

[@Dazz3881]

🙏Thank you.. r u, Perhaps an Hybrid come here to Assist us?.. I recognize U...From somewhere... much RESPECT! 🙏your r so very Correct.. INDEED. Hindsight a Wonderful Thing.💯🙏Helping US Empaths?

[@deneallclarke5229]

I Ish KZbin had a lovey button

[@janm9610]

Of course he was on a dating site immediately OR perhaps before.....!

[@janm9610]

I think it's just in the generic ....can be either sex obviously

[@janm9610]

Generic

[@JusttRaquel]

How do you keep from becoming a narcissist after so many years of conditioning. And you start noticing that you are reactively abusive?

[@longstoryshort8657]

♥️♥️

[@yoshascott2708]

Yes

[@karenholtzclaw3135]

This from you...😳

[@FromSurvivingToThriving]

ok

[@jellybean3599]

He would block me if I said something he didnt like and say Ill be back in seven days and I kept texting him while he wasn't speaking to me and a month later he would be back and I would take him back because I would remember the good things...which now I realize wasn't really love. He always had a back up person and would move on very quickly and when it didnt work he would return. My hair needed to be dyed back, I wore too much perfume, I hate that restaurant, your landlord needs to cut back the trees, you could have cleaned your bathroom if you knew I was coming over and at least put your clothes away in your closet, no man would ever want you if you keep acting like this, do you have split personality disorder?, if I was making good money he was interested in me, if I changed jobs and wasnt, he distanced himself. I was good enough to be intimate with but not good enough to marry. He never ever said he was sorry about anything. Finally he says to me, I can never love you the way you want to be loved. This lasted 1.5 years. Its like you see the abuse, but you miss the conversation of not being alone. On the outside looking in I would say thats so sad and he clearly doesnt love you, yet I find myself having a hard time letting go even though he doesnt talk to me right now. Im embarrassed I even text him. Everytime I do, it just empowers him and makes me feel like crap. Wish I was stronger.

[@SgtD1981]

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.