The Day My World Fell Apart: A Maker's Tale

[@briansbuildsandoutdoors4936]

Thanks for sharing your story and this important message James, I'm proud of you mate. Tragically, a friend and former workmate lost his battle with his demons on Monday night. So, if this video helps one person get help it will have been worth all your time, effort and tears. All the best and keep on keeping on.

[@FixitFingers]

That is not the first comment I wanted to read here Brian... but I am pinning it. These men are not statistics. *WE* are not statistics. We are fathers, husbands, partners, sons, and mates. We blokes are often far too stubborn for our own good. Not every story can be turned around, but if we can convince more fellas there is no shame in raising their hand and asking for help, I hope we can stem the tide. Thank you for your help and sorry for your loss.

[@BootlegBuilder]

Australia should be proud of the Mental Health First Aid courses that were pioneered down under. Anyone watching this would do well to Google it and find a local provider. Lots places do an online version too. Thanks James.

[@dainermade]

❤ the most important video yet! Thanks for being here mate

[@FixitFingers]

Better than "This is Not About the Stool" ;) Cheers Dainsy for all you support and assistance putting this togehter.

[@JesperMakes]

We're not bullet proof! This is the best and most important video of 2024. Thank you for letting me be a part of it James.

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks for lending me your voice when I was struggling to find my own mate. There is something soothing about Danish tones that meant there was no other choice to open and close this story 🙏

[@dainermade]

Watched again. Got me again ❤️😊

[@FixitFingers]

I think up to 10 times, I made it, and it still gets me. Makes me want to hug myself... And wifey 🤗

[@BuiltByChris]

James, you are an inspiration. I have been off work for the last 4 months and seeing a psychologist for the last 3. I had a severe meltdown at work and couldn't bring myself to going in. I started having some really dark thoughts. I haven't been in my workshop for at least the last 6 months and I've lost all my motivation for anything. However, seeing the psychologist has helped. I have started to make massive changes in my life and it is helping. There are days when I feel like I can take on the world, but, they are few and far between. I struggle to get out of bed most days. I feel like my world is crashing down around me. Like you said, a man has to be strong. I have to be there for my mum (she is going through dementia). Work was pounding on me something fierce. I now look for the small things that make me happy. Looking back on my life, I was really happy when I was in the bush. To that end, I sold my beloved "General" and got myself a 4 wheel drive. I sold my van used the proceeds to fully mod the 4x4. I went out to bush a couple of times on my own, and took a really deep breath, and you have no idea how much that helped. As they say, baby steps. I'm also looking forward to the meetup. That always makes me happy. Thanks for sharing your feelings mate. I cried right there along side with you, mate. If we can bounce off our family and friends, we have half a chance of getting through this. I wish you all the best, you truly are a great bloke and can't wait to see you in November. Sorry for waffling on, but writing all this is as cathartic as speaking to my psych. Hope you don't mind. 👍❤🍺

[@FixitFingers]

Mate this whole video was therapy for me so waffle away... it is litterally what I asked for 😊 I miss the bush. I used to head out for days, many times a year. Then is reduced to a few special trips. Then it stopped. Now, wifey and I try to do short walks around our leafy north shore, and I count down the months until daddy-daughter camping can begin. If there was one piece of advice I wish I'd added to this after seeking professional help, it would be to seek Nature Help. Bring on November... but maybe fly. If you think the General chewed gas coming up to Sydney a fully kitted 4bee with a few ton of gear will make it look like a hybrid. Proud of you mate, I hear you also pooped on a stick...looking after both ends! 😂

[@BuiltByChris]

@@FixitFingers My flights are already booked. I'll be flying up with Rob. And when I get there, a hand shake just won't cut it, this time.

[@FixitFingers]

@@BuiltByChris I'll be in the brace position... 😅😅

[@barberspaddockwoodworking]

Honoured to be have been asked to contribute to this most important of PSAs. It's the message that everyone needs to hear.

[@FixitFingers]

I hoped it would be up there with Phil's advice to poop on a stick... both topics we don't like to talk about, that should be everyday kinda chat. Thanks so much for helping mate!

[@andyc972]

Fortunately attitudes to this subject are much improved today, even compared to 20 years ago, which makes it all the more important that people realise it's ok and to ask for help BEFORE things get really bad, people are often kinder and more understanding than you'd think ! When you ask someone if they're OK and they say "Yeh, I'm fine" think about whether this rings true and ask again, let them know you're there for them, you could be saving a life !

[@FixitFingers]

Working in my job for the past decade I have seen improvement even over that time. Short of the military, you don't get much more macho than in a police force. We now have compusary head checks 3 times a year, and extra services should we need them... I am very grateful even a traditionally slow to move organisation has come so far, an encourages everyone to be on top of their mental health.

[@TheWardagh]

Well done to everyone that contributed to this 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@FixitFingers]

I am very thankful for the all the help I had making this video... we have a great community here. 😊

[@annie-centrepiecefurniture]

Thank you for sharing James, and know you have a lot of maker love around you❤

[@FixitFingers]

I sure do Annie, the response has been overwhelming, in a good way. Many sad tales seeing the light of day... but then that was the point of this video. To help people to know it is Ok to talk about these things.

[@tonydewberry3633]

A wonderful video James. You and your friends convey a very important message.

[@FixitFingers]

Cheers Tony. My father may not be an overly emotional man outwardly, but he raised me to be the dad I have become, and he always put his family first. I just needed to learn sometimes, that means putting yourself first.

[@tonydewberry3633]

@@FixitFingers I have no doubt he is a great dad.

[@PriceyBuilt]

Well, that made this old fella tear up. Thank you for sharing.

[@FixitFingers]

Hopefully for the right reasons Pricey. Cheers for watching.

[@LinauLee]

@FixifFingers Jimmy, i'm sending your little family a hug. I knew you were struggling, but no clue how much. @JesperMakes I love your storytelling ways. this takes Steve Ramsey's podcast interviews which are terrific, & adding a video, along hearing about their life, we get to feel like we are there, in the workshop with you. I was smiling & crying right through the entire film. I was surprised to find so many more wonderful makers you introduced us to, I subscribed to each YT channel, Who needs Netflix, I'm set for content to watch for quite awhile. Plus, I hope you don't mind me sharing this with my autistic discord chat group. We experience our own special burnouts. I love this community. Each one of you & your families. hUgz from Ohio, Lee

[@FixitFingers]

Honoured for you to share Lee... and yes, I've been taking classes at the Jesper Makes school of YT story telling :) I really like Steve's podcasts, they are very raw and honest. I am also very thankful for my friends who helped out... couldn't have told it without them.

[@LinauLee]

@@FixitFingers Don't ya just love people? I'm so happy to see you with your sweet little family. Here's a little extra hUg coming from Ohio.

[@the_millwright]

This is a message that needs to be hammered into everyone! It will save lives. Glad you are here to share your story.

[@FixitFingers]

For me, even at my lowest, I could never contemplate leaving my family. I was a non-functioning human, that was bad enough. At work though, I constantly see those who were pushed beyond that point. It is tragic, heartbreaking, and preventable. Thanks for helping share the message 👍

[@JohntheSchreiner]

Gotta admit, this hit me a bit harder than expected. I too have been in a slump the last 6 months or so. Work's been insane with the OT to go with it. Operating on 4 hours of sleep a night for 6 months was definitely taking a toll on everything. Luckily it looks like things are on the upswing now, and I should be getting back to a normal work/life balance again, and hopefully get back to making some sawdust here soon. Thank you for being so open about everything, and I'm glad that you are on the upswing as well.

[@FixitFingers]

Sounds like you are practicing for parenthood John, if 4 hours of sleep doesn't suit you, have the conversation of sleep deprevation if you and your lovely lady ever chat about having kids 😅Jokes aside, glad you are also pushing through it. There is always light, we just need to find the right walls to knock over, and doors to open.

[@JohntheSchreiner]

@@FixitFingers For sure. Just gotta channel your inner Kool-Aid man! Definitely seems like there’s a lot of people going though similar things right now. I’m sure 3 years of global general ugliness hasn’t helped matters. Like you said though, there’s always light.

[@RobinLewisMakes]

Love the scale of this video, both the story and the imagery. Great job man!

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks for helping Robin. I am glad you got to skip this part of fatherhood, I do not recommend it. But on the other side it has helped me appreciate my wife and daughter even more if that is possible. I hope being self employed has given you more daddy love moments with the kids.

[@AngieWilliamsDesigns]

Thanks for sharing your story.

[@FixitFingers]

Thank you for listening to it Angie. It is one of hope, and I hope it helps some people who needed to hear it.

[@twotone3070]

That need to feel needed, required, valued can lead to task overload; never turning down the opportunity to help is sometimes a curse. Understanding why we do it is part of the way to stopping doing it. Thank you for making the video, let's hope it helps someone, I'm sure it will. You're a good man and we value you.

[@FixitFingers]

Learning to say no, and realising it is not the end of the world, has been one of the most important steps I've taken recently. I've given up the building management, and have (so far) not accepted any more commissions. I will again in time... when I have time. I still mow the lawns, because that can be as therapeutic as a counciling session I find :)

[@julianwhitta1114]

And this, folks, is what real courage looks like! Thank you, James, for your courage. When our bodies get sick, we seek medical help. When our heads get sick… we stick that head in the sand. Time to stop that. Reach out. Start a conversation.

[@FixitFingers]

Exactly Julian. I am extremely lucky to get free support from my employer... few people are. Without it my therapy would have cost my family thousands of dollars... at a time we could least afford it. I now dream of a day you walk into a doctors practice and they say "Flu shots, tummy bugs, and infections to the left. Depression, stress, and anxiety to the right." Head care should work like body care.

[@trentwalsh8168]

First woodworking video i actualt cried 😊😊

[@FixitFingers]

It started as a woodworking video about mass production of hooks... it ended as a video on mass normalisation of Dad Life realities... I think this is the better version :)

[@trentwalsh8168]

@@FixitFingers yeah well. Happend to me also. :) happens on the big jobs

[@plankie1965]

I feel your pain. I found out there even more people around to help when you need it than I ever thought. Strong is feeling good inside. Not what it looks like on the outside. We are all here to help each other. We are with you.

[@FixitFingers]

The number of private and public messages I have had in the last 24 hours from folks currently dear to me, and from as far back as my childhood, as well as internet friends and complete strangers, has been overwhelming in the most positive way possible. Humans are much better than we often give them credit for...

[@coolabahwoodworking]

Great message mate. Had a crash myself 10 years ago. When you get help you become way more aware of the warning signs and through that you are much stronger and become a better human for all of the people you didn’t want to disappoint in the first place. Keep crushing it mate.

[@FixitFingers]

You sure do... so what I hope to achieve here is letting blokes know to be aware of those signs _before_ you hit the wall. All it takes is applying the brakes for a while to reasses the course you are on. Cheers Thom :)

[@erykfreethinker7147]

First of all James, congratulations to you both on the birth of your baby. I am so happy for you. I feel for you for what I have seen in this heartfelt film. I have had a breakdown in circumstances not too dissimilar from yours and I did not have the same avenues of support available. I got through somehow. In my 70's I found what I needed and all I needed but how I wish I had known nearly half a century ago all I have learned since and most importantly how to see myself critically from an exterior perspective. I am therefore so lucky to have grown up sons who love and respect me and a wonderful relationship after 25 years of widowerhood. It all took a long time coming but it came eventually. I am so glad you do not have to wait. I have so much respect for you as a craftsman and a human being and I also know that your wife is a very wonderful person. Take care and progress onwards and upwards. Eryk :-)

[@FixitFingers]

We all get there in the end hopefully Eryk, but yes, I am glad I have been lucky to have the tools I needed for recovery ready at hand. In a way, I have work to thank. Due to the tramatic nature of our job, we have compulsary head checks 3 times a year. If I hadn't got to see over the past decade the benefit of therapy, I may have been more reluctant to seek it out as a solution in my hour of need. Thank you for your kind words, and shared experience.

[@569harm]

100% the best video I've watched in some time.... As someone who has struggled with sh1t in the past I know how hard it is to acknowledge there is a problem and then ask for some help, we just try and "get through it" but that seldom works and when it doesn't, we'll, you know what happens. Thanks for sharing your story, your troubles and your road to recovery, again, not an easy thing to do. You sir are an utter star and clearly have a great support network in place, good luck and take your time, we'll be patient. Oh and by the way... Great little family there bud, you must be very very proud of them as they are clearly proud of you.

[@FixitFingers]

Only the second time wifey has let me put her on film... no stunts there, it was what it was, a joyful unexpected interuption to an otherwise heavily scripted and edited undertaking . I had to convince her it was the best part of the film... because it contains everything that gave me something to strive for :) Thank you for the kind words.

[@capermache]

This is just so lovely and honest and important. Thanks so much for sharing it. Also it’s just wonderfully crafted - such good story telling and demonstrating that wonderfully supportive family and community you have around you. Blessings on your family and the rest of your journey.

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks for the lovely feedback Silas. When I decided to tell this story, I also decided to put a lot more effort into its telling than I usually do. My maker friends have made it possible, and have been a massive support. 🙏

[@angelayorba1107]

Thank you for sharing your story. The reality of self care is more than the basics. You hit this out of the park. Thank you!!! ❤

[@FixitFingers]

The cliched but true analogy I hear each time I see a different health care professional and talk about my PNDA is this: There is a reason aeroplane safety drills tell you to fit your own oxygen mask first. You are of no use to anyone if you don't take the time to look after yourself. While I wish it hadn't taken a mental breakdown to learn this, I am glad I now have. 🤗

[@jeffcarr392]

Thank you for making this video. The more guys that talk about mental health the better, to help normalise the difficulties us men have. I wish you well in your recovery.

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks Jeff, the response has been fantastic, so many sharing their stories in the comment and lifting each other up. It's been a great day watching them roll in and trying to reply to them all.

[@christophergrace1085]

Thank you for sharing!

[@FixitFingers]

You're welcome Chris, it is something I wanted to do for myself... but so glad it seems to have reached so many others.

[@thefakemaker]

Mate I’m just so honoured. This is the most important video I’ve been involved in.

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks for taking the time to join in Jimmy. I wanted as many maker dads as I could squeeze in and your name was top of my list. What you do for Scott is inspirational. 🤗

[@Slurgical_3D_Terrain_Channel]

Thank you for making this video. Very true, we are not bulletproof. Life is not easy no matter what you have or don’t have, it’s relative not a score to keep or a scale to measure. There is no shame to ask for help and it’s very hard to do for such a simple thing to do.

[@FixitFingers]

It is hard, but the relief after you've done it is immense. It's taking time, but there are many more good days than bad. :)

[@charliescreations3848]

Thanks for sharing. Very inspiring

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks for watching Charlie, I've been sitting here for hours catching up on the comments... so many mini stories shared here today. It's lovely stuff.

[@martinsmith251]

I don’t normally, but this is getting shared on all my socials. Thank you for posting this.

[@FixitFingers]

Legend Martin, thanks. The response has been amazing, and it is getting to the eyeballs of many folk, a huge number of whom are now sharing their stories here in the comments. It's taking time, but I intend to get to all of them. Projects like this succeed best when shared, and the feedback has been heartwarming :)

[@aussieneil]

That took courage, not every bloke can be that open to a vast audience. I bet your daughter, wife mum & dad are extremely proud of you. Well done mate.

[@FixitFingers]

Wifey is proud... daughter loves her daddy and is blissfully sleeping like a baby (waking up screaming once an hour :P) But that's Ok... just another opportunity for me to snuggle her to sleep. One day I will share this story with her, and hope she forgives me for putting her poor mum through this. I am much loved.

[@MrGeoffreySmith]

Power and strength to you, mate.

[@FixitFingers]

Big man hugs Geoff. Much appreciated.

[@resinatewoodco832]

Thank you for sharing your story James 🤘🏼

[@FixitFingers]

A bit of self therapy, that seems to be going a long way. All the best for you and your dad in the workshop mate.

[@foresttourer2457]

I am kraing😢. Great job!! Take care

[@FixitFingers]

I think I have unintentionally caused many tears today... and shed many of my own with all the beautiful messages of support I've received. I hope they cause self reflection and encourage those who need it most to reach out. Thanks for the support :)

[@JamesManCave]

James, takes a brave person to admit there struggles, let alone publish them on the internet. I lost a very good friend and work mate in 2015 to mental health, i would have never of guessed he was struggling, he hid it far to well. I Applaud you for your honesty and sharing your story. Keep strong, and keep speaking up, you WILL beat this. ❤️

[@FixitFingers]

I see the end results at work everyday James... and usually get a fair idea of their story and how it came to what it did. Most often I think, there were so many other ways out if only they had looked. Anything we can do as a community to support our own, is a small personal price to pay.

[@SujMenon]

Take it easy, my friend 👍😊. Glad to hear things are getting better. All the best to you and your lovely family 👍

[@FixitFingers]

We are on the improve Suj, cheers. Not sure how long the road will be, but we are moving forwards each day.

[@JohnClark-tt2bl]

I honestly don't know how anyone could work 12 hour days and have a child. I technically don't work those hours, but i do spend 12 hours each day, from getting up for work, and driving home at the end. I dont have kids, but even still, it feels like I have practically no free time. If I had that kind of job, seeing those things....man I don't even want to think where my head would be. You're a strong guy James, seriously.

[@FixitFingers]

It helps I do (on average) a 36 hour week... so while I am away for long blocks, the shifts mean I also have long blocks of 4 or 5 days off in the row between rotations. This is how I had the time to start woodworking, KZbin, and manage the building. My mistake was trying to keep that all up... and be a dad. So, the KZbin is now no longer on any schedule, videos will come when they come. I've dropped the building management role, and am at peace that some days... are just for family. 😊

[@damiencoman2821]

It's amazing how fatherhood changes the landscape of your life. Be kind to yourself! You are a hero for sharing your story! Thanks

[@FixitFingers]

In so many more ways than I could have imagined Damien... it has been tough, stressful, and overwhelming... but I'd never give her back. She is my little star light.🌟

[@mikededmon]

Yeah, I'm not crying, you are! This was amazing! Thanks for sharing your story.

[@FixitFingers]

Let it all out Mike, it's good for you :) While there have been a lot of tears the past few months I promised myself they were not for this video... then wifey brought bub bub into the workshop and my carefully scripted story got a much needed real time upgrade.

[@JodineThogmartin]

You lot are fantastic! That was a very touching video. Good luck James 🍀

[@FixitFingers]

They are a great bunch, and very generous with their time. Thank you Jodine. 🤗

[@tweetytroubler]

Thank you for sharing. We need more people like you in this world. ❤

[@FixitFingers]

I feel there are more and more makers sharing this type of content recently... and that is awesome. I was inspired by Gumtree Hill's recent video on his impossible mallet, and many others besides. It seems so common to have stuggles, yet only a small percentage of folks mention it. The more stories out there, the more people will hopefully feel it is OK to get help for these very normal feelings :)

[@SmallFryCreations]

James such a great video and a story that needs to be heard! Well done!!! So honoured to be a part of the story telling. So lovely edited and well put together!

[@FixitFingers]

Thank YOU for being a part of it Ains. Minute for Minute it was the longest and toughest edit I've ever done... but the process was very cathartic. Still a ways for me to go, hoping to be as back to my old self as possible by November 🤗

[@J4Julz]

The best video ever, so important...I'm crying

[@FixitFingers]

Well it's my best video that's for sure, and I am so happy people are sharing it and it is helping others. I've still got a ways to go but knowing the message is getting out there is helping my own recovery. Thanks Jules ❤

[@sunnyrivers]

Well done you guys this video is so very very important THANK YOU💙🙌🏼🇺🇸

[@FixitFingers]

I'm saying 'You're welcome" but it feels a bit odd when I made this for myself as a kind of therapy 😅 I am just glad it has touched so many people. Thanks Sunny.

[@Derek_Lark]

This must have been so tough to make. Well done James for sharing. Our lives changed a few weeks back when my wife injured her leg and hasn’t been able to walk unassisted since, changed our lives overnight and things that had been important went on hold. But the pressure for some things to get done remain and this is the challenge. The quickest path to failure is trying to please everyone. Get well soon mate.

[@FixitFingers]

Sorry to hear that Derek, I wish her a speedy recovery. I am sure when she presented at the doctor and returned home, everyone accepted her injury and she never once questioned herself if seeking medical help was the right thing to do. If we can convince more folks the same philosophy applies to mental health, the world will be a happier place. All the best mate.

[@RiBenjafield]

That brought tears to my eyes. A very brave video and glad your lovely wife and baby, your mates and workplace were understanding. Sounds like you have found a but more balance in your life and stopped trying to be perfect - a lesson we all need to try to take on board. 👍Thank you.

[@FixitFingers]

Learning to say No to the right things has been a massive takeway for me. You can't add something like a child to your schedule and then refuse to give up previous commitments. The hard part is coming to peace with this and realising you are not losing your identity... you are gaining one 🥰

[@samhoban2509]

Oh man, what a great video. Thanks to everyone who was part of it

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks for taking the time to watch and comment Sam. It's the audience who make a video... and this one is proven amazing 😊

[@ablanccanvas]

Great video! Particularly the way it was shot with all your beautiful caring contributors. Thank you. 😌♥️✨👍🏽🇨🇦

[@FixitFingers]

It wouldn't have been the same without them... plus, I doubt I could have told the story alone. Thank you :)

[@mauriciomdea]

Thank you James! It's hard to speak up, even more on an KZbin channel! Wish you the best recovery, directly from Brasil! 🙏🏻

[@FixitFingers]

Obrigado Mauricio... I felt like I had the platform, so it was best to use it to try to do some good. Thanks for the world-spanning love. 🙏

[@robertmadden7536]

On my computer are the words “you are a long time dead”, a reminder of a time I made the correct decision to leave a toxic workplace. My brother’s words but my motto. Take the time to recover and lean on your mates when needed. You have got this mate 😊😊

[@FixitFingers]

Cheers Rob... and wise words. My workplace is very odd. I see the worst and sadest parts of humanity daily, yet the type of person who can survive there tends towards the optimistic and positve personality types. We are well supported, with compulsary head checks 3 times a year, and fantastic crisis care for both work and personal issues. Yes, our rates of PTSD and burnout are scary... and I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be. (well, except at home with my girls exceptionally wealthy... but that ain't happening on a public service salary anytime soon 😅)

[@gregknight3485]

Good shit fellas (and another mate).

[@FixitFingers]

It was like hearding goats getting all these makers organised and edited... but I couldn't have done it without them and love them all 🤗

[@loopinnerthe]

James. You may have rescued more than your mental health. Actually your tears show you what you really rescued. Your relationships, and the most important one of all, your marriage. I thought I had made it through some really hard times and had manfully toughed it out, but in the end I lost everything. Thank you for this video. Thank you for all the people that it will help to fix and thank you to all my favorite makers who helped out and brought the story alive. A risk well taken.

[@FixitFingers]

Cheers mate. My wife has been my biggest supporter, warmest carer, and most patient partner. For a while she was basically raising our daughter single handedly while looking after me too. It has been tough, and now I am focused on supporting her as much as I can.

[@MrMjt888]

Blimey. That’s brought tears. I had a breakdown last December and it’s a long process to recovery. This video has helped me and will help many others. Good on you.

[@FixitFingers]

That is all I hoped mate, thanks for sharing. I made good progress for a few months after my breakdown... then out of the blue relapsed 2 weeks ago. Now, editing this video has helped me climb out again, and trying not look back.🤗

[@MrMjt888]

@@FixitFingers. Relapses happen. I look at how long it takes me to get back on my feet. Hopefully getting quicker each time. But not beating myself up if it’s not. In my thoughts.

[@MelbourneMaker]

Thankyou for having the courage to not only ask for help, but put your story out there in such a raw and vulnerable way. I wish I had seen this 2 years ago and realised I didn't need to battle it alone. Even if it helps just one person its worth it, but with how you have put it together it will help many more people than you know. great work mate. Be proud of who you are.

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks Dave, my PND, like my daughter came at the right time. As a 42 year old first time dad, I think my place in life and years has helped in a situation a younger version of me would have struggled even more with. I am glad you got through it too, and fortunately, many more folks than I expected have now seen it... and I am proud of that, and the people who helped me make it.

[@funkyflips5388]

This needs to be watched by all men and then talked about. It’s OK not to be OK ❤

[@FixitFingers]

At least all the men I can reach in my tiny corner of KZbin. So far... the response has blown me away. Thanks for being part of it :)

[@graduallywizardly]

I love you, man. Thanks for including me.

[@FixitFingers]

I love you too Phil in the most manly of ways... PS Check the chapter titles for a little giggle 😅

[@graduallywizardly]

@@FixitFingershaha nice.

[@PrestosTimberFurnitureAU]

Video with a strong message James. It's good to have such a supportive group behind you as well, can make all the difference. Thank you to all who contributed to the making of this video. Big hug to you mate, we all need one now and then.

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks Glenn. Are you going to be able to make it down to the maker meetup in November in Sydney?

[@NicoleHerrickDIY]

Moved to tears James. You’re an absolute legend for turning this experience into a way to encourage others to seek help. Wishing you all the best in your recovery journey.

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks Nic, it came together better than I hoped and has reached a lot of folks, many who have gotten back to me who are now going to reach out. Can't ask for more.

[@NicoleHerrickDIY]

@@FixitFingers oh that’s amazing. You know that makes you a superhero right? Out here saving lives mate ;)

[@FixitFingers]

@@NicoleHerrickDIY just a guy using a public forum for self therapy Nic 😊

[@millcat20]

You're a good man 👊, thanks for sharing.

[@FixitFingers]

I appreciate it mate, cheers. I am struggling in a great way over the huge outpouring of love the comments are generating to keep up 🥰

[@CathyEbs]

My woodworking helps my mental health a lot. I am self employed for my day job working from home so do my woodworking when I can find the time to fit it in. Life is hard but your kids need you. My daughter has to come first and I have battled for years to get help for her with a broken system with me working till midnight most days as that is when I have to work around her. It is great to see you were able to get the help you so deserved so you can keep looking after your little family. I finally have got somewhere this last few months as she has recently been diagnosed with Autism which I have suspected her having for a few years. She also loves woodworking and comes out in the workshop with me hitting nails into timber. I still have a lot to learn but love watching all the makers videos along the way and have learnt so much and want to teach her the next generation to be a strong young woman. Keep on fighting you are doing great.

[@FixitFingers]

You are awesome Cathy. I apologise this video is very male-centric, but I can barely understand how my own wife copes with the changes let alone comment on motherhood in general... or single-parenthood... twins... advanced needs bubs.. the list goes on. (Honestly, my brain shuts down when I try to even imagine what it would be like as a single mum or dad! Just... wow.) Every day I remind myself how blessed I am I have a loving wife, usually healthy daughter (we have our first real sniffle today😥) and amazing support services around me here in Sydney. (We just spent 5 days at a specialist sleep training centre which was amazing, and cost zero dollars.) I can't wait until Nova is big enough to come to the workshop with daddy and bash bits of wood against each other. We need more girls and women in the hobby 🥰

[@CathyEbs]

@@FixitFingers The video should reach out to men and women who are struggling and need help. Just start a conversation is the point you are trying to make and normally men don't do that. I think it is so great that a hobby I love so much means I get to connect with so many talented people from across the world. We are currently getting over the lovely COVID this week to add to all our other issues. I do hope to make it to the meet up this year in November if I am able to get care for my daughter as I feel I know everyone so well from all their videos and would love to meet them and chat to them in person. 😀😀

[@FixitFingers]

@@CathyEbs do it! It's a great night out meeting everyone 😊

[@warriormonk2611]

Well done fella. Well done to everyone who contributed. It's been 14 years since my diagnosis and there's been fantastic ups and right bastard downs since then. You're a credit to the world sir.

[@FixitFingers]

Wishing you a smooth year then mate. I am ready to level the roller coaster for a while 😊

[@kv-p1639]

James, your story resonated with me on so many levels; I broke down in tears & realized that I needed help. I had to stop lying to myself & just talk about it. This was the hardest part to do but with the support of my wife I was able to at least start the conversation. It's still a struggle & a humbling experience to put ones pride/ego aside to utter the words "I need help". I appreciate you very much, Here's looking fwd to a healthy recovery & much-love to you & your Family. Sincerely Kevin.

[@FixitFingers]

@@kv-p1639 Cheers Kevin, and just as a reminder, just cause you get help, and start to get better, doesn't mean that is the end of it. I finished my first round of treatment a few months ago now. Next week, I'm headed back as things still not quite right.

[@kv-p1639]

@@FixitFingers you're absolutely right . I know I have a long road ahead of me and my therapist has been encouraging me to sit in on one of the men's support groups that are available. I haven't taken that step yet but it's reassuring to know that they are available when I'm ready. My journey is just beginning and I've come to find out that it's a marathon and not a sprint to the finish.

[@Edtopia_upcycling_]

Hello James. You know my English is not good at all, but I'm still trying. I was very impressed by your video and your honest way of talking so openly about your illness and moved me to tears. And I am also always enthusiastic about how well your community in Downunder sticks together. I admire you all. Greetings from Old Germany 👋🏻

[@FixitFingers]

Danke Ed. I like to think we always have each other's backs. We have challenges, and lulls, but overall the Aussie Maker scene is a tight knit group whom I am proud to call friends... even our honourary Dane ;)

[@Edtopia_upcycling_]

@@FixitFingers My, by Australian standards, neighbour Jesper is certainly also an Australian in his heart 😊

[@RolftheRed]

Best KZbin of the Year. Thank you.

[@FixitFingers]

Cheers Rolf. You humble me ❤

[@RolftheRed]

@@FixitFingers quite the opposite. I assure you. Thanks for going public.

[@MitchyLou1]

Thank you for sharing your story, glad to hear you're on the road to recovery and helping to share the message with others too. You have an amazing support network. Your relationship with your wife and daughter is gorgeous x

[@FixitFingers]

They are special girls, my star and moon. I am very lucky to have the support around me, and I am sure most folks do, even if they don't realise it. The number of friends old and new who have reached out today has been amazing. I'd hope most people if they made the call could muster some similar support.

[@MitchyLou1]

@FixitFingers I hope you realise that says something about you too. You're a good guy, so it's understandable that you have good friends

[@rorymakesstuff]

Thanks for sharing. Being so far down a deep hole that you can’t spend time with your kids is the worst experience in the world, but you do need to look after yourself. Take care mate. ❤

[@FixitFingers]

Before becoming a dad I never realised your child could trigger emotions so strong they can lift you up higher than you thought possible. But if the rest of your life is out of balace, that same trigger can send you spiralling... at least, that's the best way I can describe the roller coaster I've been on. She is my little starlight, and I am learning how not to be burnt :)

[@GrumpysWorkshop4]

Wow what an amazing video. Its so good that men are slowly starting to talk about mental health. I definitely know what its like to hit rock bottom. Ive suffered with mental health issues most of my life. After losing my wife to cancer in 2022 im still climbing my way back up. So glad you're getting all the help you need & thanks for sharing. Stay strong

[@FixitFingers]

You sharing your story mate was part of the inspiration for this video. Though we are makers, not bloggers, I think normalising discussing when we have struggles so other can see many people need a hand is a small thing we can do when we are part of a community of common interests. Hope you stay on the mend.

[@woodfather]

Great video Jimmy, I'm glad things are on the up, and thanks for letting me be a small part of it. Also, I think you accidentally married Han Solo? James: "I love you" Wifey: "OK" 😆

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks for the advice to wait a while mate. This is a much better video for the delay to let me clear my head more and be in a better place to tell the story. Wait, does that make me Chewy... or Leia? 🤔

[@annetteolivier721]

Retired from EMS and ending as a manager i can confirm that having ‘the conversation ‘ is vital to mental health , oh and a wood shop is the best, wood accepts a lot of tears and hurt

[@FixitFingers]

The wood has never complained to me or told me it's all in my head :) I made the mistake of turning my happy place into a stress machine... now it is time to take it back. I haven't cut a piece of timber in months, but I finally am excited to get back in there now this project has let me drop a weight off my shoulders :)

[@annetteolivier721]

@@FixitFingers i put my distress into the wood and create, well sometimes make stuff out of junk but it’s my happy place where my heart stills and my life pauses long enough to breath. Never hold on to negative or worrying thoughts let them out whilst you are making stuff, it’s good for the spirit and soul

[@FixitFingers]

@@annetteolivier721 amen!

[@VicTesolinWoodworks]

Thanks for sharing this James. It’s so important to talk about this stuff.

[@FixitFingers]

Cheers Vic. I am trying to add to the support services list for those overseas, as all the ones I have put down are Australian focused. Do you know of any free US or Canadian services similar to our ones I can link?

[@VicTesolinWoodworks]

Not off the top of my head no. 😢

[@FixitFingers]

@@VicTesolinWoodworks I suspected it may be a challenge over there for such things. In many ways, we are The Lucky Country.

[@trentwalsh8168]

Love it! ❤❤❤

[@FixitFingers]

Cheers Trent, it's been very helpful to me making this video, glad you enjoyed it.

[@trentwalsh8168]

@@FixitFingers uve nailed it mate.

[@ookilydookily3410]

We all needed this. Thanks for opening up, James.

[@FixitFingers]

Honestly if you had asked me yesterday what percentage of your male friends had struggled with mental health, either PND or otherwise, I think my response would have been maybe 30% at the high end, with 70% being fine. After the response today, I'd be happy to flip that statistic. Needing a hand at times is so normal... I can't see why we don't have head doctors in walkup clinics like we have body doctors. Treatment should be that accessible.

[@Nedswoodworks]

Gidday James, yes, we are very proud of you mate! It’s not weak to speak. A good lesson for all and sundry mate. Look forward to seeing your smiling face again. ❤

[@Nedswoodworks]

Oh and you had some big hitter in that video which was fantastic to watch mate, friends supporting friends. Great to see! ❤

[@FixitFingers]

I have been on the up Dave, and smiling more. A slight relapse a few weeks ago but this time, with the help I've gotten, recovery back was much faster. It's an ongoing journey, but we are headed in the right direction :)

[@splinters_66]

Awesome vid, congratulations to all involved. Like the song says, we all need somebody to lean on.

[@FixitFingers]

That was the first song I learned to play on the piano... and is still the only song I can play on piano 😅 It was a joy to get so many makers on board to help with this :)

[@RenewRestorations]

James that was an amazing video! Thank you for bringing this most important topic to all of us in this community. We all struggle and unfortunately a large number of us do not have a “conversation” about it and continue to suffer or worse. I’m glad you were able to get the help you needed. Take care my friend!

[@FixitFingers]

That's what this is all about, normalising the conversation. So many wonderful comments here, it has been a joyful mission working through them all. Cheers mate.

[@AussieWoodshed]

Great video to share an important message. I wish you and your family all the best.

[@FixitFingers]

Our shed's are our happy place, but they can be isolating too. Recognising the difference between the two can be hard, but is important. Cheers Luke.

[@southerndime333]

right in the feels

[@FixitFingers]

I hope that's where to hit to convince folks to self reflect on their own situations :)

[@DUTCHHUSKY66Treesandforest]

Well done mate, a great vid, and very recognizable! I've in hospital, had medication, talk to a psychologist every few weeks because I tried to keep too many balls up in the air. Admitting to that is still a difficult thing, yes is still easier than no, but I'll get there eventually. And so will you! Thanks for a great video upon a very heavy topic!

[@FixitFingers]

I've avoided the meds... for now. If I keep making progress I will continue to do so. I am a functional human most days, and there are now just pockets of concern throughout any given week. The road ahead looks clear, and I hope to walking it. Cheers mate.

[@timitii]

Thanks for sharing your experiences and speaking about mens mental health issues. And all the best for you and your family.

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks Tim, we are doing better recently and bub is coming along healthy and well. I can ask for no more :)

[@rosee941]

Amazing... what a creative way to spread a critical message... thank you for sharing your story... all the best 😀

[@FixitFingers]

@@rosee941 Thanks Rose, if it was just me chatting at a camera for ten minutes I don't think it'd have been as good. Very lucky to have maker friends also handy with filming things 😊

[@joculator9820]

Lots of love from the southeast US - as a fellow father of young children and someone who's struggled with mental health all my life, believe me when I say you'll get through it.

[@FixitFingers]

Glad the message is reaching far afield :) We are making good progress, strong willed as little bubba is :P Cheers mate.

[@tazwhitefeather]

Thanks mate ❤👌👍👍

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks for stopping in mate. Appreciate every comment 👍

[@jmwoodcraft7842]

Well done collaborating on this one folks & cheers for sharing James, important message and also a really good video. Sending love & support from up north ❤️

[@FixitFingers]

Much appreciated mate. It took a lot of trust from my friends when I sent them a script and said... read this to camera. They smashed it out of the park.

[@GumtreeHillWoodwork]

SUCH A POWERFUL VIDEO JAMES!! 💪😭 You have (you are 😉) a gorgeous little family & you have taken the most important & biggest steps since creating your family. Every single milestone you share & joy you experience together from here, is entirely due to you going through what you have & discovering that we get stronger when we stop pretending to be so strong. A pain shared is a pain lessened. Pound for pound, this actual video, regardless of topic, was an absolute masterpiece too mate. Crushed it well done ! Cheers for letting little old me contribute.

[@FixitFingers]

So glad to have you on board Sam. The response has been amazing. I am hoping when she is old enough to understand, Nova can learn from it too, and know how much her daddy loves her. 🥰

[@GumtreeHillWoodwork]

@FixitFingers I honestly had this thought after watching it too. Definitely going to be one to withhold from Nova until she hits peak emotional maturity, because I don't even think a lot of ADULTS were ready to watch that ! 😭😆😭

[@jamesmullen287]

Thank you for sharing your story you are one very brave man. Wishing you and your family all the very best of the best. The message its ok to be not ok'

[@FixitFingers]

@@jamesmullen287 Cheers James. We've been making progress and continuing to relax and improve. A little ways to go yet.

[@jamesmullen287]

@FixitFingers This is great news. I lost my partner in January suddenly to a pulmonary embolism there was nothing we could do for her and has hit me and the kids so hard if it wasn't for the understanding and empathy given to me by my boss and work colleagues this year could have been so very different and also friends and family. I have no doubt that things your side will get better. In your case excuse the sense of humour but it's baby steps lol. Stay strong mate.

[@FixitFingers]

@@jamesmullen287 you remind me there are folks out there being dealt much worse cards surviving and pushing forwards. Take care mate. PS - Thunder... Thunder! THUNDERCATS HOOOOO!!! 😂

[@jamesmullen287]

@FixitFingers Survive we have to for our family and you are doing exactly the same. It's always good finding a fellow fan or at least someone who has watched "ThunderCats"

[@lesneilson5632]

yep been there done that myself, but what a wonderful set of friends to support you just lean into their positive support and breath the air of renewal your gonna make it and better than you think

[@FixitFingers]

The maker community has been awesome. There are many who didn't even know, but their videos coming out gave each tough day a little bit of a kick when I found a few moments to myself. I am very lucky, cheers Les

[@WayneVayro-bj8fm]

Don't really know what to say here, but thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes we as males worry that we are the glue that holds the family together and if we don't provide for the family, it starves . It is us who put the weight on our shoulders. We forget that we have right to do what we love as hobbies and to make time for ourselves to do these things. I have the same problem and my kids are 20 and 17. We also need to learn that this time is ours and not to feel we are being selfish by doing the things that we love. We also some time get caught up in making a living that we forget to make a life for ourselves.. Thanks again James. All the best.

[@FixitFingers]

Wait... this doesnt stop for another 17-20 years?! 😅 Just kidding... the challenge remains, just shifts as they grow... well, that's what I am expection 8 months into this fatherhood game. All my professional help has drummed in how important it is to be selfish sometimes, and take time for yourself. Baby learns security by mummy and daddy each taking time away, then returning full of love and cuddles. The important part is to remember that time away can (and shoul) be for fun sometimes... not just chores and work.

[@diyforknuckleheads]

Bloody hell mate!….. think I’ve got some sawdust in my eyes… they appear to be tearing up. Great video lads and l hope you’re ok and getting back on track mate 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@FixitFingers]

So good I get two comments... this one with extra thumbs! 🥰 It's been really well received, hope it keeps getting shared around to dads and makers who need to see it. Already has more comments (and much more meaningful comments) than anything I've ever made... and I now know and appreciate even more the effort you go to to reply to all yours! 😊 Folks are taking the time to share their stories, I will take the time to listen and respond.

[@diyforknuckleheads]

@@FixitFingers 😂… the 1st comment was from my “dummy” channel that l didn’t realise l was logged into 😂 Seriously though, great to see you come out the other side mate 👍

[@chrispage3261]

Good on you mate for the speaking out on such a huge platform about mental health. To many times people let it build and build I myself used to. And thought that keeping myself busy will help keep that black dog away. Fortunately I seemed some help and spoke to others in my circle also. Keep it up brother. Thanks again for sharing your story and speaking out.

[@FixitFingers]

I wish I had this video 4 months ago and could send it to new dad me and tell him to slow the smeg down. I am fortunate my 'rock bottom' was still well within view of the light, and I had my wife and network to pick me up. Many lads dont. I've had the Black Dog lead friends away forever, so if I can play a small part it helping others pat him goodbye and continue on their own path, I wanted to take that opportunity. Thanks Chris.

[@paullobwein1632]

James I want you to know you have been heard loud and clear. I have been through similar along side Compkex PTSD. Some times you can take on the days or weeks without a hassle sometimes it has to be by the hour but we can continue moving forward. My battle has been 7 years now and my daughter is 8. Every day is a blessing and I am grateful for friends that were there for me. Thank you for being open and vulnerable to every person here.

[@FixitFingers]

Thank you for sharing Paul. I am hoping my own struggles don't last that long, but in my line of work, which I've been at over 10 years now, PTSD is almost a given. It's the price we pay for the service we provide... I just hope the steps I take now, limit the damage as I get older. A silver lining of my PND is if I ever start to have symptoms of other mental issues, I will be better equipped to notice them early and intervene before they settle in.

[@julietphillips1991]

I so wish I could give you a hug right now, if I'm allowed. Praise the Lord you are doing well! We are all just human. Don't be superman, being human is the best we can be, flaws and all. Life is a shitload of stress, but you must not allow your cup to runneth over. You are loved by so many and you have so much to give. One day at a time, James. Be thankful and be calm, always doing the best you can, as only one human can. Prioritize and most importantly, take care of James. I send you an internet hug!

[@FixitFingers]

Big internet hugs are always valid Jules, thank you. We are doing well. Just finished a 5 day sleep training boot camp wiht bub and she did amazingly well. Making this video has been part of my therapy and I couldn't be happier with the response. 🥰

[@damo3748]

Having been through my own episode some years back now, this was a very raw video to watch. Thank you for having the courage to be so vulnerable…

[@FixitFingers]

I needed a hand... and time. I wanted to do this sooner, but a friend advised not to until I had reached a better place in my recovery. Those were wise words. Just 2 weeks ago after some great progress, I had a relapse. Luckily, my councilling had taught me to catch the warning signs, and now I am already back on track. This video has been months in the making, and a big part of my self therapy. Thanks for watching.

[@damo3748]

My low point was over 5 years ago and it’s been a matter of self awareness (and the wife being patient, observant and communicative) in order to identify when the signs reoccur. Keep fighting the fight good sir.

[@FixitFingers]

@@damo3748 my wife is my hero 🥰🥰

[@alanswoodthings]

Amazing video it really moved me ❤

[@FixitFingers]

@@alanswoodthings Cheers Alan. Not typical of my content thankfully. Though the next one is a quick follow up before back to business as usual ... Hopefully.

[@Raafman42]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have to admit to a tear when your wife and Bub appeared in the shop and you went off script. A very touching moment and glad you left it in. All the best in your recovery and know that you have lots of friends, even if you have never met them.

[@FixitFingers]

It certainly feels that way today mate with hundreds of comments and messages across many platforms rolling my way. I am glad I got permission to leave that bit in, wifey is usually very camera shy, but she realised it was important to me :) Cheers.

[@brettstooltutorials6017]

Amazing Vid Well done, an important lesson for all It’s ok to be down and it’s important that we talk

[@FixitFingers]

Thanks Brett. We spend ages learning about how to use our tools... but ignore the warning lights that come on in our most important one. It's important to talk, and after that, seek the best help you can. :)

[@ShirleiBarnes]

This is an important story to tell. I’m grateful you all got together to tell it ❤ I love this😊 Off topic 🤭….I love when I find an Australian channel on KZbin with meaningful topics.

[@FixitFingers]

@@ShirleiBarnes thanks Shirlei, while it'll always be Australian content mostly it's significantly less meaningful woodwork and DIY 😅 But I am glad I decided to share this particular segment of my life, people have responded and reacted in the best ways possible

[@dazzalloydy]

Well said fellas ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[@FixitFingers]

Cheers Daz, I was very grateful for the assistance with this film

[@dazzalloydy]

@@FixitFingers im a welder that started making things out of wood instead at home due to illness fair to say i was in a bad place before i built my own space in the shed and started using my skills and my head instead if thinking how terribke my life ended up being. I just wish I could sell what I made for some picket money yo keep me going

[@FixitFingers]

@@dazzalloydy I've not tried to sell too many things, and when I did the return on time wasn't great. Even these simple hooks (which granted was at mates rates) for my friends yoga studio were more favour than finance. I think it is about choosing your products, and being happy with a certain level of finish. Dainer Made has some great videos on rough but fast to build furniture that sells at a decent margin like hall tables. Just be careful in chasing a little pocket money doesn't take the fun out of the workshop :)

[@smartfone231]

A matter close to my heart. Wishing you all the best James. Thanks all for being there. It makes me feel warm... on the inside❤

[@FixitFingers]

I see what you did there 🤗 He is a big inspiration. Cheers mate.

[@brucecomerford]

Good on you mate.

[@FixitFingers]

I appreciate you taking time out to watch Bruce, cheers.