The Deprogram Episode 30 - Confused non-American screaming

We all know the US is the main game and the rest of the world is a DLC, but what if you only ever played the DLC? Join us in exploring confusion over some key aspects of the American experience.
The next episode, Episode 31: The ideology of not having an ideology is available NOW 1 full week early on Patreon: / thedeprogram
Bonus Episode 5: The Deprogram Would Like To Add You on Linkedin is also available exclusively on Patreon.
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[@TheDoubleBee]

I thought Yugopnik was passed out during the intro banter, but it turns out he was absent completely. Would have loved to hear his input on conversation about bribes.

[@_redmenace1917]

Lmfao same

[@DF-be6pn]

I am from Serbia and don't even get me started on it, it is so fuckin widespread. I was present when police was taking bribes countless times, even tho I could never bring myself to do it, since I'm quite radical and would rather rot in prison than give money to the pigs.

[@Comuniity_]

Fr I need to hear yugopniks opinions on bribery

[@xCobraCommanderx]

Speaking of video games I love that The UK is like evil Tomb Raider. “Local Upper Class white girl steals cultural artifacts and puts them in a museum.”

[@TMAziz]

22:53 Raincheck is a retail term (afaik) when a retailer advertises a certain item at a certain price for a limited time, but the store runs out of stock, the customer may request a raincheck; basically a ticket or coupon written up by the clerk allowing the customer to buy the item at the sale price at a later date when it is back in stock. I switched from PodcastGuru to KZbin to tell you that

[@samuelbutler2566]

So from what I understand, depending on where you are in the US, “glizzy” can mean either hotdog, gun, or penis. The more you know.

[@joshuabryant9845]

Depending on context it can also mean two of those at the same time lol

[@totallynotacommunistspy]

Sometimes both

[@scrumpy8192]

I feel like JT gives Hakim the impression that the whole US is just greater Texas lmao

[@CraigKeidel]

Texas feels the same

[@Hsereal]

3:24 A major reason that cops in the U.S. respond poorly to attempted bribery is that they're paid pretty well (roughly $68,000/year, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics). So unless the amount you're trying to bribe them with is _really_ high, accepting the bribe isn't worth the risk of losing their job and salary. Of course, corruption is definitely present among U.S. police, but it tends to happen at a higher level than street/patrol cops, and it tends to be institutional, rather than individual -- the department might be making a ton of money from civil forfeiture, or the police chief might have an understanding with local organized crime.

[@ericktellez7632]

Exactly, for actual examples do a google search on border patrol, the amount they get bribes for allowing several cartel’s fake companies trailers to cross unchecked is in the millions of dollars a year, usually laundered through a small business on the side or “donations”.

[@fun_ghoul]

$10k will buy a Black man selling crack out of a six-four a pass in Ottawa all day. Don't try passing a hundred for a speeding ticket, lol.

[@RedScareClair]

Bribing has huge negative feelings around it in the US, despite legalized bribing in our government. A cop would probably be extremely offended and feel it was an attack to his integrity and therefore use it as an excuse for further charges. Spot on about the skin cancer, Hakim.. in the US you are less likely to have skin cancer if you're black but if you do get it you're more likely to die.

[@Coridimus]

Why would the cop take a bribe when they could just steal all your shit via Civil Forfeiture.

[@fun_ghoul]

Cops take bribes all the time. You just don't know about it. Carry a full stack of hundreds if you might need to do it...

[@RedScareClair]

@@Coridimus spot on

[@nondescriptname]

Holy shit my joke became an episode. I know this was very likely already planned before I made the joke last episode but I feel pretty cool for predicting it.

[@NevetsTSmith]

I like that profile picture, good dig on the three arrows.

[@DevanK-rg3td]

Nice pfp

[@NevetsTSmith]

I'm always thrown off when Hakim searches for a fairly common english word because it's so easy to forget that it's a second language for him. Plenty of people I know who have worse grammar and pronunciation.

[@nowhereman6019]

It's so wonderful hearing Hakim ask JT like a wide eyed child about this magical nightmare land called the US of A.

[@alkmibeats2133]

As a usa-born Japanese Korean from the suburbs of Midwest US America, I absolutely love hearing such an intellectual and culturally-literate outsider and scholar such as hakim probe and grapple with our American paradigms that we so often take for granted as reality on a daily basis. Both intellectually stimulating and culturally satisfying

[@wakeupsaudiiii]

17:50 JT’s ability to change accents and do them properly is underrated

[@RedScareClair]

An entire episode of Hakim asking JT questions about America is absolutely epic 🤣 Thank you for this. Hakim *has* to visit JT in Texas so we can get a debrief episode. That would make my life so happy. Also you'd have to go to Florida because I'd love to know the look on Hakim's face when he sees Florida Walgreen's have liquor stores in them. Lastly, JT clearly doesn't know the struggle. As someone that grew up black and broke I don't know anyone in my family that didn't save oil in their homes 🤣

[@atticuscb]

Need to get Yugopnik to an honest to goodness carne asada and get him blasted off modelos, corn in a cup, an all the tacos Al pastor while Hakim plays loteria and JT gets drunk and sings a duet with Yugopnik of some mariachi songs.

[@strawberryJen711]

oh btw for hakim, fried ice cream is both hot AND cold, hot fried contents and cold ice cream ^^, yes it is an attack on the arteries......worth it!!!!

[@sqaudrenlead2542]

I love how Zimbabwe Is a case study of how geopolitics and western control can ruin a country

[@ericktellez7632]

The entire global south is a case study.

[@Jane-oz7pp]

anywhere in the Imperial Fringe is a great example tbh

[@snerpletiger8761]

why do you love that

[@mushymass9716]

35:25 This was a perfect opportunity to inform Hakim of the legacy of John Harvey Kellogg, and I'm disappointed that this did not occur

[@Blackrain7070]

Hearing the questions about weird ass American cultural things from an external perspective is super interesting!

[@ThrowingCrunchy]

From experience working for Target, it's just a palette swap of Wal-mart. Affluent neighborhoods get cleaner, better staffed stores. I worked at one in a lower income area where we had less than bare bones staffing and the store itself is just as scuffed as the stereo-typical wal-mart.

[@fun_ghoul]

Target had a brief stint in Canada; the closest one to me was in a former Zeller's (defunct Canadian discount department store), and when they folded, it became a Wally World...

[@Praisethesunson]

Lol JT explains Murica to an Iraqi.

[@maksschmidt]

I think you guys should do one of these style episodes like once per quarter. I love the usual topic focused episodes, but a whole episode of JT getting grilled and having to answer for the entirety of America is pure gold.

[@Comuniity_]

Hakim is gonna be mind blown when he finally comes to the US, its so much more insane then you can describe in words lmao, especially Tennessee, where the grand city of Chattooga is

[@CraigKeidel]

THE NOOOOG

[@Hsalf904]

39:00 blue collar Italian workers in Canada actually used to call English Canadians “mangiacakes” (cake-eaters) to make fun of them for eating sweetened bread

[@johnp4876]

I'm from Houston and I gotta say hakim go to anywhere but Galveston for a beach trip, its got the unique oil mud beaches that no one needs.

[@brookemoore4816]

Same, if the Galveston beach isn't an oil slick then it's piled high with sargassum and man-o-wars. And you'll smell it before you see it 😣 The side of the island facing Texas proper is rather nice though, A&M has a marine biology center there dedicated to studying the ecosystem and protecting the turtles that nest there. Just stay away from the seawall and you'll be much happier.

[@nathandrake725]

Glad to see another Based Houstonian here 🍻

[@monochromeboy]

Eyy I'm happy to have found my houston people. Yeah, Galveston is TERRIBLE. Avoid at all cost. The only people who like the beaches there are people who haven't been to another beach before.

[@atticuscb]

True...that one weekend in 2019 when Galveston had the perfect combination of wind and tides and for like 3 days the water looked really good.

[@gumerzambrano]

They should come to Southern California for beaches! They're amazing here

[@robmoney]

While taking a walk to the store I thought it was weird that some Black dude was wearing long sleeves on a bright day but Dr Hakim proved me wrong

[@atticuscb]

Lolol as a Texan I'm waiting for Hakim's disappointment when he sees what Galveston water looks like 🤣🤣🤣

[@danger_design]

Hakim: "I don't trust them if they don't take bribes' Shots fired!

[@danger_design]

Ease up Hakim. The irish are colonised, but we are also "white" - that's why the british let us join the army, and the other indentured labourers stayed indentured.

[@fun_ghoul]

@@danger_design That's not what "white" means, and Irish were "allowed" to become British cannon fodder and/or imperial bastards even as they were routinely called dogs and barred from decent employment in London, New York, Montreal, Sydney, etc. That said, I hope you enjoy the story behind the Montserratian March 17 holiday as much as I do! :-)

[@danger_design]

@@fun_ghoul Help me out here, Joe. I don't think I know how to speak in riddles.

[@fun_ghoul]

@@danger_design What do you think "white" means, clown?

[@Hsalf904]

Quite sad to see how much of this is the same in “Canada”. A couple differences though: -I will eternally thank the Lord that I have never seen a “glizzard”. -We thankfully don’t wear shoes inside though at least on the East Coast -Don’t have food in pharmacies -Instead of saying “it’s a dry heat though” we say “it’s a dry cold though” -We thankfully don’t use Fahrenheit -We use metric except for human height, human weight, and alcohol for some reason -Lastly my American friend’s car literally just broke down on Route 66 two days ago lol

[@comradeinternet467]

Food not being in pharmacies must be a thing out east, because American-style pharmacies are common in Ontario.

[@LeoiCaangWan]

Contractors tend to build in imperial feet and inches because most of our lumber gets exported to the states.

[@Tetragrammaton22]

I've seen food in pharmacies in BC, Alberta, Sask, The Peg, and Ontario

[@fun_ghoul]

@@LeoiCaangWan No. It's because there's no legal requirement to use metric, and changing would cost (capitalists) money.

[@fun_ghoul]

Alcohol is all sold by metric measure in Canada. I presume you mean the tendency to informally say "twenty-sixer" (Yanks actually say "a fifth"), "forty pounder", etc...?

[@wister8528]

i love how there's a dedicated american hate episode as if the regular ones didn't do it enough

[@sentientnatalie]

Honestly, you can never shit on the west enough, speaking as someone from the west lol.

[@wister8528]

@@sentientnatalie that's true. as if making their own country a shithole wasn't enough, americans have decided misery needs to be spread around the world through coups and military invasions

[@recmuralartcommission1993]

41:04 I am a proud 30%-120% tipper

[@anonymous0269]

Can confirm southern Italians are considered a minority by the ruling class of northern Italians

[@justanormalyoutubeuser3868]

As a northern Italian I confirm, that view is pretty common here.

[@blede8649]

Some northern dude, before the unification (I don't remember the name) said that Africa begins south of Rome. Luigi Carlo Farini, one of the Sardinian military governors of the Two Sicilies (right during/immediately after the unification) wrote Prime Minister Cavour that the south wasn't Italy, but Africa, and that the Bedouins, compared to Southern peasants, were examples of civic virtue. As a Northerner, I've personally met many people with similar views (all repulsive fascists and League supporters, as you can imagine).

[@bacicinvatteneaca]

True, despite the fact that southern Italian languages and the Tuscan (standard Italian) language are more closely related to each other (both in the family of southern romance languages alongside Venetian and Romagnol) than to northwestern Italian languages (which are part of the western romance language group alongside Spanish, Portuguese, Catalan, Occitan), and despite the overwhelming majority of cops being southern. Northern Italy literally decided to colonise the South and, at the same time, commit self-cultural-genocide.

[@Comuniity_]

@@blede8649 then Italian Americans be like " and that's why we're POC and you can't make fun of us, ay I'm walking ova herea"

[@mek101whatif7]

Perché in sto thread si va d'inglese?

[@syd5380]

Despite being an American myself the America Q&A was insightful for me but then again, I live in a place where the only business near you (in a lot of places) is usually a small corner store with a free for all, chaotic parking lot that sometimes has ATVs in it. I truly can’t conceptualize what it’s like to live somewhere that isn’t at least partially rural. It’s fascinating how much stuff I straight up just don’t know about in terms of how a lot of other Americans live.

[@Hsalf904]

Not from the US but both the US and Canada are HUGE countries so there’s considerable regional differences and definitely a strong rural/urban divide

[@fun_ghoul]

@@Hsalf904 Indeed, the OP probably has more in common with hicks in the Prairies than in his state's metropolis. Cheers from Kichisipi (a.k.a. Ottawa).

[@syd5380]

@@fun_ghoul I’m in Maine but I’m honestly sure you’re probably right about that

[@fun_ghoul]

@@syd5380 Cool. WRT your state's metropolis, I just learned recently that Portland, Oregon was named after the one in Maine. Also, in the 2000s, several Canadian cities were amalgamated with their surrounding suburbs, villages and such to create "megacities". I'd say the most salient example is Halifax Regional Municipality, which I think now covers 20% of Nova Scotia. Ottawa is similar: You can drive due south from Bank and Wellington (a.k.a. Parliament Hill) with all green lights, and still be in the city of Ottawa an hour later...but it's the boons.

[@fun_ghoul]

If you can't tell Irish and Slav apart, Hakim, it means you're turning into a 19th C. Amerikkkan...

[@Tetragrammaton22]

Route 66 predates the Interstate Highway system. The highway was just a really big federal highway that connected the east and west together. Canada has Highway 1 which is basically the same thing. There were a lot of businesses that popped up along the highway and small towns would form around these businesses. When they made the State Highway system all these businesses and towns basically closed out which is why it now looks like a post-apocalyptic highway.

[@goshohgosh4568]

I hope Hakim reads this

[@DominusCaedis]

Grits is nixtamalized corn (same process used for making masa harina/corn tortillas) dried and ground, then cooked like porridge/oatmeal.

[@Juva96]

Hello, Hakim talked about the brazilian Passat, it was the first brazilian Volkswagen with water cooled engine. The Iraqi version, know here as Passat Iraque, was built under a agreement with the Iraqi government. We sold the cars to Iraq and we were paid in oil, during the oil crisis. Iraq officials came to Brazil to choose the car and the acessories. After the oil crisis, the Iraq government choose to sell oil for money instead of cars and the cars that didn't gone to Iraq was sold in the internal market, the Passat Iraque is know as one of the best Passat models sold in Brazil. My nonno had two Passat standart and my father had one. Thanks for this amazing podcast!

[@fun_ghoul]

For a fun related story, look up the Iraqi taxi Malibu made in "Canada"...

[@Juva96]

@@fun_ghoul I just read the story. It's pretty fun to know that some cars are unbreakable in some countries and in others the car self disassemble if the sun is too strong or if rains. Well, not the Malibu's case, most reviews say the car wasn't good even when it was rolling out the factory, but I think is the same for the Fiat 126 in Europe being a good car and the brazilian version (Fiat 147) being the opposite.

[@fun_ghoul]

@@Juva96 I'd argue the Malibu was a generally fine car, but hampered by shitty engine/transmission options chosen by Iraqi bean counters. A-bodies are well-regarded by drag racers, for example.

[@Juva96]

@@fun_ghoul Yeah, it was more of a orchestra problem than the musician. Drag racers go after a sturdy chassis, but engine and transmission are one of the first things to change or tune up.

[@MeansOfProduction209]

Grits is made from roughly ground up cornmeal. Generally speaking it's really only eaten in "the south" united states or by people who's family are from the south.

[@fun_ghoul]

In Italy, it's the other way around. 🙃

[@vitaminluke5597]

I'm surprised they didn't talk about how Cosco is actually one of the few big retailers in the country that treats and pays their employees relatively well (maybe someone with experience can correct me, but that's what I've heard).

[@ah_libra]

It's just Hakim's reaction to deep-fried butter and deep-fried ice cream 🤣🤣🤣 any rational non American would understandably be like WTF!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@linden6756]

Grew up below poverty line, live at the poverty line rn. Both my partner and I pay 25-30% for tips.

[@leroitiaks]

Covering your skin with cloth is better for you and the environnement that putting sunscreen. There has been great research on the impact of sunscreen on corals for instance in very frequented beaches.

[@DenisRicardo]

RE: the sketchy racially insensitive depictions of Mexicans on the side of a hold in the wall taqueria I have no idea why but most Mexicans have a weird affinity for stereotypes like Speedy Gonzales. We just think it’s kinda funny.

[@DenisRicardo]

Also, I used to live on Route 66, parts of it are desolate but it goes through huge cities.

[@ericktellez7632]

We do the same in our taquerias in Mexico usually a cactus with a mustache or a DBZ character with a sombrero as well

[@DenisRicardo]

@@ericktellez7632 that shit is so hilarious to me, like a Mexican Goku.

[@ericktellez7632]

@@DenisRicardo Naruto is a very popular one usually with a mustache and a sarape doing the clone jutsu sign and the name is like Taqueria Los Ninjas or something lmao

[@royalyoung9170]

This episode is such a vibe, I love having some non-political episodes like this too.

[@Rocinante0489]

This is hands down one of my favourite episodes

[@goblinbastard603]

happy pride month comrades

[@fun_ghoul]

Yep...especially for the sponsors!

[@stugeh]

I thought deep fried butter was a joke.

[@Coridimus]

Fair Food will fry anythjng.

[@Offline219]

This is my first time hearing the term cut the mustard. it sounds so strange.

[@Matzu-Music]

I'm an American, and I've never heard of "Cut the Mustard"!

[@marceldefreitas860]

very interesting for us nonamericans. I actually checked the "rain check" and this is just info i read online but apparently they would cancel baseball matches in rain and give everyone affected a free ticket for the next game, a rain check. Not actually gonna check the veracity of this but its a funnier explanation imo

[@marceldefreitas860]

this was a while ago so don't take my word for it

[@eleSDSU]

Great episode

[@misterfuzzyflippers]

Fun fact about Pepsiman. The 3D modeller for the game went on to write multiple Sci-Fi games, my favorite being the Zero Escape trilogy.

[@TheMosayat]

This gave me so much nostalgia 😂

[@Moody.Smiruai]

WHATTT THATS FUCKIN SICKK

[@AndrewGillard]

48:00 omg carpeted bathrooms are awful 😣 I'm in the UK and the house I've been renting (of course) for the past decade has carpet in the bathrooms - which I don't think I noticed when checking the place out before moving here because _that's such a bizarre concept that it never even crossed my mind to be something I should look out for!_ I guess this place is new enough that mould and such isn't yet a problem, thankfully. But it means that I've covered the bathrooms in bath/shower mats/rugs everywhere - essentially a _second layer of carpet,_ but one that can be just thrown in the washing machine. I just _do not get the point_ of bathroom carpets. I'd have individual mats in front of the shower/bath/toilet/basin anyway, so carpeting the whole room doesn't _add_ anything except irritation 🤷‍♀️

[@seneris]

The restaurant server voice is just baby talk for Boomers

[@JenniferKitzman]

RE: Counties in the US - they're all squares (or 'corrected' attempts to make squares...) from west of the original colonies because, in the 1800s, we underwent a nationwide geological survey. So imagine many, many geologists with early surveying equipment canvassing the nation to try to 1; verify our maps and 2; mark off and inventory the land in a 'rational' fashion. I know a lot of boring things!

[@podemosurss8316]

34:20 Pure symbiotic relation with the medical university: that place gave cheap food to medicine students, and the medical university also got free patients!

[@sonjahyvarinen7692]

This answered so many questions I've had. Anytime I see something odd about the US I try to think "surely they can't be that weird, its just media bias. In reality its quite a normal country" but no. This just confirms that America is as strange as it seems. Thanks from Finland!

[@troywalkertheprogressivean8433]

Strange is a kind word. I would label it evil. But as an american I might be biased.

[@sonjahyvarinen7692]

@@troywalkertheprogressivean8433 I agree but some things like making small talk with strangers, which is arguably a good thing, just seem so weird to me especially as a Finn. It's funny, we even have a game we call Finnish bus stop where you stand in a circle and periodically look up at a random person and if you make eye contact you fall out. Although this no talking to strangers doesn't apply when everyone is drunk, then it's a free for all. Even I as a very introverted person had a long conversation with a stranger last Sunday when we won the hockey gold against Canada. When that happens Finns will just pour onto the streets all drunk and happy and talk to anyone and share drinks and smokes with strangers. On any others day though, we keep to ourselves.

[@troywalkertheprogressivean8433]

@@sonjahyvarinen7692 in america, at least for me, there's a lack of sincere meaningful connection. to people, to systems. good luck being a broke male and finding companionship. good luck getting adequate healthcare. everyone has ulterior motives and hidden agendas. very few are truly honest.

[@sonjahyvarinen7692]

@@troywalkertheprogressivean8433 America sounds ruogh :/ I'm almost surprised we aren't seeing massive emigration to Europe. Where I live I wouldn't say it's easy to find friends and relationships because it's never easy. We might be a timid people but once you start talking it's no bull shit and people are very genuine and honest. As for the healthcare it must seem like a dream to you. When I broke my arm for example I had to get painkillers, x-ray, local anaesthesia, a cast and they had to pull my arm in place. All in all I think I spent at most 4h in the ER and walked out with a bill of I think 20-30€. Same with mental health, it's obviously nor perfect but I went to see my school psychologist a few times, got a referral and when I went to the doctor I got antidepressants on my first visit. And the pills only set me back about 10€ a month. Not no mention that if your medications are so expensive that you'd spend over 600€ a year the rest is free (not sure on the details exactly so don't quote me on it)

[@troywalkertheprogressivean8433]

@@sonjahyvarinen7692 it's rough for people like me who are awake/aware. I think I may have $150,000 in medical debt floating around. Appendix. Lost a kidney to cancer. Substandard healthcare. Understaffed overworked nurses and doctors. They're closing hospitals here (as opposed to building new ones. But the military and police have infinite funding. Most of us are too poor to emigrate.

[@danha3107]

31:06 I can’t get over JT’s “damn you lookin good tube steak” 💀💀💀

[@Moss-ec2hd]

i was gonna say, we never use carpet in the bathroom. that's just a disgusting thing i see on the internet. but i have never left the north east. bruh is that shit really common elsewhere? ive always had carpetted rooms up until recently, but bathroom has always been tile.

[@fun_ghoul]

You're right that it's gross. Hard surfaces only! If you can't bleach it, it's not clean.

[@helenahrebeljanoviccipras]

omg yes the carpet thing is the weirdest to me especially combined with the fact that most people don't take their shoes off. and that carpet is fixed onto the floor it seems so i don't know how they can wash it i don't get it. it seems very inconvenient.

[@ThexDynastxQueen]

You vacuum it or use a carpet cleaner. Many rentals don't have carpet tho as they're harder to upkeep for this reason so fake hardwood, tile and laminate are very common. I prefer carpet as I have health issues so I need soft surfaces especially in case of a fall so I have a very very large rug in my room. Rest of the house is tile.

[@nusquamnemo4780]

Tile is so much more hygienic. It's the same in Britain and Latin American me was *aghast*

[@emmasilver2332]

Have you guys learned about Comradery? It's like a commie version of patreon, and it's awesome. Luna Oi is on it.

[@fun_ghoul]

Is she still a reflexive China hater?

[@sanguinoid8919]

working my way through all the past episodes this one was fantastic 😂 i missed yugopnik though! 😭

[@dogestcreature]

Stay strong JT!

[@Coridimus]

Hakim, just FYI, a Quart is a Quarter of a Gallon.

[@fun_ghoul]

But how many hogsheads???

[@waspwrap1235]

4:14 I think it’s something where, since cops believe they’re better than you, since they can easily overpower you, it’s sort of like an unspoken sign of disrespect. Personally, if I was a cop, I would take that bribe instantly, considering I live in New England, and everything is very expensive here.

[@dbteepo86]

As a Texan, my father taught me that doubling your sales tax (8.25% in Texas) on a receipt was a quick way to figure approx. 15% tip.

[@drasco61084]

The people's hot dog I'm crying 🤣 😭

[@crazygrape]

26:50 In most Costcos, the food court is towards the exit of the building, which is also near the customer service desk where one would get a membership in the first place. Point I'm getting at is that you're unlikely to get your membership checked going through in the back, and I know several people who don't have memberships but frequently sneak into the food court to take advantage of the legendary $1.50 hotdog+drink combo (or other cheap food, the chicken bake is also really good and only $3).

[@ericcarabetta1161]

48:41 This is the exact reaction everyone has to seeing carpet in the bathroom, a design trend that came around in the 80's and for whatever reason some people have not removed.

[@fun_ghoul]

My grandparents carpeted their main level -- including the kitchen (!) -- ahead of my mom and dad's shotgun wedding, not because it was trendy, but because it was the only affordable way to make it presentable for the reception. (Italian family, so...yeah.) It was basically ruined within a few years, but would stay for several more decades because my grampa had poverty brain real bad...

[@bacicinvatteneaca]

If you live in a home with very annoying flooring, you may want to protect it.

[@dripster4424]

The reprogram is the only show where an Iraqi boomer asks his friend what a glizzy is

[@ChrisSudlik]

Rain check - retail institutions used to issue these if they were out of stock as a priority on new inventory coming in. You'd get a rain check, come back in later with it and if they had "held" inventory in the back you could pick it up ahead of the floor displays. As profit maximizing took over this practice went by the wayside and inventory in back and space for it shrank dramatically.

[@theoldbear4213]

RE: hot sauce holders - some Scottish dirks(fancy daggers) have built in holders for a fork and a food-sized knife attached to their scabbards, with the handles matching the style of the dirk, complete with matching gemstones on the "pommels". I think those are cool...

[@Nolanrooney17]

I feel attacked by Hakim on the AC. Me and my roomate used have the AC set to around 14 and in the winter turn off the heat in out apartment and still found it too hot and would open the windows when it was -10 or colder out

[@fun_ghoul]

In so-called Canada, you don't need to register a trademark if you're the legal owner (i.e. the only one to use it, or the first if more than one current user), and you can use the ™ symbol -- but not ®, ofc -- without registration. *It's Taco-rific!™*

[@XandarionSunrise]

Funniest "cut the mustard" story ever: I used to work with this guy who was ridiculously funny, and was a paraplegic. He used to flirt with the ladies so much it was ridiculous. One day he told a woman "come on home with me and I'll show you a good time!" She was like, "Not to be rude, but can you even, like... Do the deed?" And he replied, "I might not be able to cut the mustard, but it's still fun to lick the jar!" 😂

[@adrianjohnson2282]

Wow, I got here quick! Salom, comrades!

[@emmasilver2332]

benefit of the trout i died XD

[@theletterw3875]

32:30 I swear Hakim is describing Lunchables

[@thepooplord592]

deep fried ice cream is delicious

[@joshuabryant9845]

Just wanted to point out that fried ice cream is mostly seen in Mexican or tex-mex restaurants in the US. It's cold on the inside, flash fried on the outside. Usually they do a sauce over the top like a chocolate or caramel syrup. It's actually quite good. But yeah don't eat it often if you don't want diabetes lol.

[@ericktellez7632]

That’s 100% tex mex because we don’t have fried ice cream in Mexico lmao

[@joshuabryant9845]

@@ericktellez7632 The wild part is, even the more authentic places here serve it. Probably just something they do to cater to american consumers/diners.

[@colonel__klink7548]

On dry heat: One day you wake up and there's a literal demon staring at you. "Welcome to hell! today it's a balmy 400 degrees! But don't worry, it's a dry heat so it's quite bearable and pleasant!"

[@Comuniity_]

Glizzy is originally African American vernacular English, if you ever hear an English slang word there's like a 90% chance it was an AAVE thing for decades then white people were like "hey that's pretty cool" and started using if

[@Comuniity_]

Black people really make everything in America and get 0 credit

[@igobytony]

I wonder if "cut the mustard " has anything to do with the plant?

[@podemosurss8316]

Fun fact: the city of Galveston was named after Spanish general Bernando de Gálvez, who was the military commander in the area at the time of the American War of Independence. He supported the revolutionaries first sending weapons, ammo and money. Latter Spain declared war on Britain, so he attacked towards Florida, defeating several British armies on the way despite being in numerical inferiority to the Brits.

[@Task32]

This reminds of that old cold war era movie trope where the American main character is being interrogated by a Soviet officer and they're like "tell me American is it true that in Capitalist America there are drive through movie theaters" or some shit.

[@KaDaJxClonE]

Southlake and Trophy Club are rich af. I worked at the Deloitte campus nearby. Its amazingly rich. Lamborghini, porsche, and Mercedes everywhere. I felt so poor and outcast in my top of the line VW GTI.

[@Jane-oz7pp]

Hakim roasting white people for not being able to stand in direct sunlight is hilarious and I love it

[@Shinji_Dai]

Hakim's right, McDs doesn't use a quart of oil for its fryers--they use gallons.

[@fun_ghoul]

A twenty dollar bill to bribe a $200k/year pig? Lol. Cop bribes start at one stack (that's $10k, squares), paid in cash on the spot. No, you can't go to the bank to get it! 😂😂😂 EDIT: Also, don't hem and haw and let the cop type things in. You have to pay AS SOON AS THEY COME TO THE WINDOW! "Is there a problem here, officer/sergeant/trooper?" {rest hand on door sill with stack partially obscured} Cop will usually count it on the spot, and if satisfied, will "give you a warning" and let you go. Ofc, having the guts to drop a big bribe also tells the cop you can pay other people to do other things...so they should just take the money and be on their way. Caveat: If the cop is spooked for any reason, they might still fuck you over.

[@fun_ghoul]

A $10,000 bribe to an Amerikkkan cop is not unlike $20 to an Iraqi bureaucrat, relative to their salaries.

[@estevaodealmeidasilveira3822]

my uncle had a Brasilia, he loved this car so much that he only got rid of it when the hole in the floor got big enough for a kid to fall on the track

[@XandarionSunrise]

Hakim & Yugopnik in Borat banana hammocks 😂

[@pixie7349]

As someone who was a waitress and is now a nurse in the US, I get worse “I pay you, therefore I am superior and you will please me” type comments a nurse in the US healthcare service than I ever did as a waitress.

[@hoboroadie4623]

U.S. 50 is the road that you want to check out. Does some serious middle-of-omgwherearewe stuff. (Sand Mountain is far from town) Route 66 goes by Behringer Crater, and you totally have to make a stop for that. 👍

[@kee-rockrandom1079]

27:12 Target is a boujie Walmart that feels like it's for people under the age of 30 with no kids. Walmart is a small Costco for lower to middle class people of all ages. Costco is a big Walmart for middle to upper class people who are over 30 (or want to feel like more of an adult) with medium to large families.

[@kee-rockrandom1079]

Oh, and nothings wrong with being 30, lower class, and/or having kids btw. My assertiveness may sound rude, but it's with no ill intent👍

[@CraigKeidel]

If yall take a Deprogrammed trip from Texas to The Noog, ya gotta stop at Memphis and try Black Sheep hot sauce. As a former Buffalonian, that sauce is LEGIT.

[@shadeaquaticbreeder2914]

25:26 you forgot about the corporate areas that just have lathe corporations where everyone has to travel to or you have cornfields lol

[@pallingtontheshrike6374]

how do you peel tangerines? i always peel it into one spirally shape lol

[@emmasilver2332]

I hate smalltalk. I like to talk to people, but only if it's interesting conversation. The whole "nice weather out there" nonsense just grates on my nerves. I usually don't take shoes off in the house, mainly because I can't be barefoot for too long without my feet hurting. I have had fried ice cream, and it's pretty good, but I have to be in the mood for it. When I am, I usually do the shortcut version by sprinkling rice krispies and/or corn flakes onto some vanilla ice cream, because I don't know how to make the real thing, nor do I have the money to get it anywhere. Also I am both disgusted and thoroughly not surprised that some bozo came up with the idea of a "glizzard".

[@gumerzambrano]

Haqeem if you come to the U.S. you should come to Southern California! Much better weather than the Midwest and beaches for days along the coast

[@ThrowingCrunchy]

I've been out in west texas during the late spring early summer when it's hit 130+*F

[@emmasilver2332]

I absolutely love eggs. And yes, I do eat very sweet breakfast most of the time. My ideal birthday breakfast includes the following: churro muffins, sausage, bacon, eggs, and strawberries.

[@sleepinthemorningcalm]

In Canada we all take our shoes off. You track in show (which melts) and mud everywhere. The idea of wearing shoes insides is nuts to me