the desire to be sad: "tragically beautiful" art & romanticizing mental illness

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i used to document my moody preteen life by writing diary entries. as i read through my past diaries, i incorporate philosophy about the pleasure in causing self-pain, the importance of meaning, and research about the effects of sad art.
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: i'd love to hear what you all have to say *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 intro
6:16 the search for meaning in suffering
15:35 sad art
20:17 are mentally ill people more creative & deep?
24:00 why do we enjoy sad music?
27:53 the morals of sad art
29:51 closing off my diaries
★・・・・・★・・・・・★
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★・・・・・★・・・・・★
SOURCES:
Arens, E. A., & Stangier, U. (2020). "Sad as a Matter of Evidence: The Desire for Self-Verification Motivates the Pursuit of Sadness in Clinical Depression." www.frontiersin.org/article/1...
Dunn, E. (2017). "BLUE IS THE NEW BLACK: HOW POPULAR CULTURE IS ROMANTICIZING MENTAL ILLNESS."
Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Mina Le. "the tumblr girl is coming back." • the tumblr girl is com...
McCloskey, I. (2020). "“I Saw It In A Movie”: Film Representations of the Mentally Ill Community & its GIF Transmediation onto Tumblr."
Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
Nietzsche, On the Genealogy of Morality
Noetic Films. "Viktor Frankl: Why Meaning Matters." • Viktor Frankl: Why Mea...
Philosophy Tube. "KZbin: Art or Reality? | Philosophy Tube." • KZbin: Art or Realit...
Vidamaly, S., & Lee, S. L. (2021). "Young Adults' Mental Illness Aesthetics on Social Media." doi.org/10.4018/IJCBPL.2021040102
Vuoskoski, J. K., Thompson, W. F., McIlwain, D., & Eerola, T. (2012). "Who Enjoys Listening to Sad Music and Why?" doi.org/10.1525/mp.2012.29.3.311
Waddell, C. (1998). "Creativity and Mental Illness: Is There a Link?" doi.org/10.1177/0706743798043...
Zembylas, M. (2008). "Trauma, justice and the politics of emotion: the violence of sentimentality in education, Discourse: Studies in the Cultural Politics of Education." DOI: 10.1080/01596300701801278
MUSIC:
Abel Korzeniowski: "Table for Two"
Chopin: Prelude Op.28 No.7
Mozart: Sonata No. 12, K. 332, 2nd mov.
Ravel: Pavane pour une Infante defunte
tags: tumblr girl, tumblr revival, tumblr is coming back, 2010s tumblr era, sad girl, sad aesthetic, romanticizing mental illness, glorifying mental illness, romanticizing depression social anxiety, nietzsche, foucault, girl interrupted, social commentary, internet analysis, video essay, analysis video, philosophy, movie film tv show, social media, sad music, mitski, lana del ray, tiktok, shanspeare, jordan theresa, cj the x, tiffany ferg, alice cappelle, contrapoints, philosophy tube, madisyn brown, chad chad

[@JingYuans_sparrow]

My Buddhist Lama told me "sometimes we become so attached to the battle of the illness that we don't want to heal anymore because that battle gives us meaning" and this hit me, still processing it.

[@takeshikovach5165]

Did the Buddhist told you that Buddhism is like any other religion. Conducting genocide in Myanmar?

[@shadowfluffylion8291]

Ma'am, you have no right to hit so close to home

[@folaback46]

Exactly .. how do I keep meaning without recalling my pain and using it to improve?

[@Chymistry]

Reinhardt felt the same way

[@caputinodelamour5983]

Kinda what i feel Im in love with sadness and destruction, its everywhere, theres no reason to try So why not feel sastifecion in sadness?

[@mimimousie]

the most common thing people say to others with mental illness is "it's okay not to be okay", but god so many people need to hear that it's OKAY to be OKAY.

[@psm3333]

omg THIS! sometimes the feeling of being ‘okay’ becomes a state of dissatisfaction and i’ve seen this happen all around me. “it’s okay to be okay” is such an important phrase to remember.

[@polly_nah]

I'm not the biggest fan of this saying (as someone who is clinically 'not okay'), but I think you need to acknowledge and accept the fact that you might in fact not be okay to move on... And that's what it's about - at least imo. It's okay to admit to having a mental illness and seek help despite it being heavily stigmatised. But yeah, I don't really like it bc sometimes people read it as 'it's okay to stay in this state (of anxiety/depression/anything else you're struggling with) forever and not do anything about it' - like take your time, of course, but I don't think it's a healthy mindset to reject recovery in general

[@gianna526]

I can't stand that phrase. I don't want my mental illness to be validated, I don't want to feel comfortable with it. I want it to go away, and I want to stop having it. So many people have told me like "it's okay not to be okay" and such, to the point where now I feel like I shouldn't try to heal from my illness.

[@user-0X5673]

for reaaaaallll we need more people who can give us positivity for the world is already full of negativity 😭

[@Tea12456]

@@gianna526 it's normal to have illnesses but the quote Is logically empty similar to the quote that if you help people success will come witch in some extend ture but in some cases people will milk your time to help them and take way opportunities that you could have had in some cases you have to let go of people who may possibly bring you down and it's not easy to help and not realistic.. so as I say it's an empty quote it needs more information and it shouldn't be only one small sentence living the reader confused.. Life isn't always white or grey in some cases you will be one of the unlucky people who may face ture darkness and that can break you mentally things that people don't imagine happening in there lives and fear if it did happen.. in some cases they make it feel so easy to get out of this state but it really it depends but Surely with determination and hope you can get better day by day .. but remember support is important to get away from the state we are humans and we need one another support.. you need to mentally get medication that's what I did and did help and some support in your suffering because burdens can be hard on one person to carry and mentally understand that you can use this problems to grow and as a challenge that you need to overcome.. I hope that hopefully Helps and if I said something incorrect I would love to know.. I don't want to bother or hurt people.. and I hope to understand more about it and stay safe ❤️

[@Stardust_42]

When I tell people that misery is addictive they never believe me at first, but it’s true. This video really does well to explain why it’s so addictive.

[@princesslady93]

I indulged in self pity once- I sat in the floor in my room and drank for three days straight. I absolutely LOVED the feeling of feeling sorry for myself. After three days I got up and lived life a new woman. Four years sober today ❤️

[@mattata-san]

@@princesslady93 feel you gal ♥️ stay strong and make your life the best it can be, no exceptions!

[@fakiriayoub8087]

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

[@FabioPioFersini]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

[@HAMZAPINE]

Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@HealthyPriestessSophie]

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

[@FabioPioFersini]

Is he on instagram?

[@HAMZAPINE]

Yes he is dr.porass.

[@nathanfacteau9312]

"There is nothing wrong with a simple life of peace and prosperity" -Uncle Iroh

[@bangtan_sonyeondan8]

Do you perhaps know what season or episode this is from?

[@nathanfacteau9312]

@@bangtan_sonyeondan8 it’s from the season 2 episode where the gaang is all sleep deprived

[@blahblahbear1429]

ATLA is truly a masterpiece

[@kedarunzi9139]

Don't know the episode number but it's called "The Chase"

[@evviemarie]

hate to argue with Iroh, but… isn’t there if not everyone can have that?

[@someguy165]

Artists are not responsible for people fetishizing their art. I can't stress that enough.

[@SatoriWazHere]

A lot of my friends were like "Oh don't draw ur child oc with a short shirt. People will sexualize them" and I was like "is that my fault???" and they were like "It is if you let them" like bruh

[@_Definitely_Not_A_RobloxFan]

@@SatoriWazHere omfg a CHILD and its a goddam short shirt not stripper clothing serouisly that is gross

[@BeanBeanMcBean3000]

@@SatoriWazHerethat’s messed up, how are you letting them do anything when they are strangers and you don’t know them? plus if they are that mentally deranged to sexualise children I don’t think it makes a difference how you draw the clothes.

[@SpeedKing..]

What does fetish even mean anymore i swear yalk KZbin essay wannabe high scholar new York University philosophy major say it in everything

[@GuyGamer1]

@@SpeedKing.. I think you have some other basic parts of English to learn about before you learn about the meaning of "fetishizing".

[@loraserafimova7750]

this is such an interesting topic, in 9th grade my native language teacher gave the class an essay assignment on a similar topic - "do we romanticise pain" and the discussions in class really made me question the media we consume; the main character always has a tragic backstory, or something tragic must happen so the plot moves on, etc. it's like we're not interested in happy things, like we crave sadness, agony, tragedy...

[@avenged7peep958]

In psychology It's called the negativity bias

[@cheese__cake]

You can't just have a happy ending without having to suffer for it, thats how life goes. You have to fight for your happiness, because whats the point of the meaning of happiness if your just gonna ignore the opposite of it that makes it special in the first place?

[@user-pi3hd2bt3f]

​@@NerdTheDemoni don't think it is appropriate to call having a tragic or traumatic past a "flaw"

[@LentilSoupGirl]

​It's called real life, nasty shit happens to people. All of us suffer, that's not the end of it but it surely happens and needs to be expressed.

[@bologna3464]

Conflict is always required for a story, otherwise there is no story. That’s not romanticising sadness, that’s just basic storytelling.

[@muchomabbq7785]

Don’t fall in love ... with your suffering. Never presume that your suffering is in itself proof of your authenticity. A renunciation of pleasure can easily turn in pleasure of renunciation itself. -Zizek

[@mattata-san]

Zizek sucks

[@irenep5160]

That's what exactly happened to me when i was like 15...

[@Julia.sbr06]

Well i did. We are in a 3 year relationship now. We talked alot and he helped with listening and giving little advices i can follow do get out of my hole 🙏 Now- most of the time i feel good. And if not- we talk.

[@mattata-san]

@@Julia.sbr06 stay strong queen ❤️

[@MaFTB]

I remember this quote. Thanks for reminding me! I need to go listen to more stuff from Zizek

[@upsidcs209]

I used to hate when people said that “trauma adds spice” and “trauma creates character”, because, as someone who went through very traumatic experiences during my childhood and preteen years, I wondered why anyone would want to be imprisoned by their own mind and not be able to do anything about it. Then I realized, I might not say it out loud, but I unconsciouly think this way too. I remember when girls at my school with “perfect” lives and “perfect” parents and “perfect” houses approached me, I had no interest in becoming friends with them, because I thought their little bubble of privilege wouldn’t allow them to understand “real life”, that money and college and clothes was all they could ever want, that they couldn’t have meaningful conversations because “they were boring”. Read that again. I unconsciously thought having a privileged, happy life made you boring. Even in relationships, I always felt attracted to people that needed “fixing”, as if their trauma made them more interesting to be around, and “spiced up” our dynamic. I think that people don’t want to be sad, they just want to feel like they have a distinct personality with traits of their own. People like to be unique, and they like to feel as if they were in a movie and they like to be able to cry to sad songs just to validate their own feelings. There’s a voyeuristic aspect as to why girls like crying with mascara on and reading Sylvia Plath, as if someone was actually watching them and they were a character in Skins. There’s a reason why people look for love “like in the movies”. There’s a reason why the most famous artists and musicians and writers all happened to do drugs or be depressed or live sad lives, and usually had very unfortunate deaths that we now romanticize. We’ve commodified feelings like sadness and love so much that we now think the only way of having an interesting personality and a life worth telling is by being depressed. And of course, anyone who went through a mood disorder knows it’s not like in the movies at all, and it doesn’t spice up your personality. It ruins your life.

[@lolhi1204]

you have a great way with words and i absolutely agree with you! i hope you‘re doing okay

[@DaleKamp]

I relate a lot to this post.

[@jasminepandit9861]

Extremely well-said!

[@raynacarraway440]

Edit: Parts of this comment are sorta null now considering I recently realized I actually am heavily traumatized from my time in distance learning (was so much fun coming to that conclusion /s) and suffer from both the same situational depression as before and anxiety in general with my tendency to overthink things. My feelings from before aren't any less valid and some of my points still ring true for me, but I just thought I'd add that onto here if anyone new manages to read this :) I can speak on this from the privileged side of things, kinda. I'm about to graduate high school and up until the pandemic the worst "trauma" I've experienced was my parents divorcing, but even then it happened when I was 3 so I was basically unaffected by it the way it does to people it happens to when older. I live in the suburbia of suburbias (we literally don't even have a proper sheriff's department and just use the overall county's) and the biggest personal "problems" I'm dealing with atm are Prom and trying to get tickets for a concert in July (also trying not to procrastinate finishing my term paper any longer cause it's already past the initial due date lol). However in 2020 I had to go through distance learning for my Junior year and as it was literal hell on earth, I experienced my first and currently only time with depression or any mental illness. Heck I didn't even believe I was depressed when it started up because it didn't feel as serious as the way my friends and the culture around me had described it. I didn't experience a feeling of numbness or no desire to get out of bed, just crying and a huge lack of motivation I felt specifically when thinking about/doing school so it wasn't even my own thoughts bringing me to this state but simply a way of life I wasn't prepared for (plus the fact that I literally couldn't write the smallest paragraph and had to leave the Zoom room of a standardized test once because I was just staring at my computer screen unable to type anything, leading me to be consoled by my mom and have to lay in bed under the covers to try and calm myself from whatever kind of attack that situation brought up. This was the worst it probably got btw, and it was months after my initial diagnosis). I also wasn't the only person experiencing depression from the pandemic, and while I was put on medication, by the time I was on it my symptoms were basically fading (aside from the whole "I can't write" thing, which lasted for the remainder of the school year), though I do still see the therapist I started going to because of all this, which was probably the only positive takeaway. I was able to move on relatively unscathed from the whole experience, and since so many kids my age are actively dealing with multiple mental health problems on top of school and life and whatnot while I just have my one experience and the most I worry about being my self esteem problems, mainly about my body, and desire to be seen as desirable and not feel as average as I do, I constantly think that my life has been rather boring. Then I remember I have nothing to complain about because I haven't had to struggle much and I shouldn't/don't want to go through those things but if that's the case, why do I still feel that everything about me is uninteresting and I'm just going through life day to day? Why do I feel a strange sense of pity for not having super exciting things happen to me and not knowing if teen parties are actually a thing where I live because I've never been invited (and wouldn't even want to go as I'm an introvert so that makes things even more confusing) when one of my best friends is staying up till 4 am sometimes working on AP homework and being put through that gauntlet daily? Wow I spent way more time on this than I should have/intended to but oh well

[@flamingaish]

you and i might be the same person

[@icchasaki]

One of my favourite quotes, which feels relevant: “Art should disturb the comfortable, and comfort the disturbed”

[@Kiokatz_]

Yes. Absolutely yes.

[@aurum1235]

yup

[@InsertNameHere911]

Yeah

[@1337ik_]

one of my most favorite quotes 🙏🙏

[@KMICX]

Literally my fav quote that’s for mentioning it queen

[@bettered7]

Some people find comfort in sadness because that’s all they’ve ever known.

[@mariayousuf6911]

Exactly that's the last attachment to feel emotions for them

[@user-wg8ge1ee1w]

I think that the desire to seem like an interesting person and depression as a medical diagnosis are two different things.

[@Suspicious_Soul]

As a teen, this video really helped me understand myself more. Being depressed or having any mental disorders have become a "trend" and it feels that if u r not "relatable" or don't have any problems, u r boring.

[@mattata-san]

You are boring either way don’t worry woman

[@mariayousuf6911]

Exactly all my insta feed is full of these. I just turned into 19 and I'm suffering from anxiety disorders Not to mention, I Hella romanticize it...this video really described me wholly....the thing is it feels like if you can't relate to others, you're no different and humans are suckers for attention, so do I. Now I think I should work on my real behaviour and mental health

[@unbearablyyours]

I have been depressed since i was 14. I am 22 now. And let me tell you, depression is a soul eating void you dont want to get yourself into. It's more than the shallow, superficial pop culture potrayal of a "hot mess". Depression is the gut wreching feeling of never reaching your potential because every day is a heavy rock upon your chest that you lie squished under like an insect; it is the withdrawal from reality into a personalised hell you carry with yourself everywhere; it is total helplessness that engulfs your existence. Everywhere you go, it goes with you. Do not romanticise this hell.

[@bdfwhhsb]

How do you get out of it?

[@unbearablyyours]

@@bdfwhhsb i didn't get out of it. But i AM trying to improve my life. And perhaps the only way to do that is professional help aka therapy. Seek therapy if you're depressed.

[@wonderstruck.]

@@bdfwhhsb I got out of it. You have to rewire your thinking. You get so used to certain thought patterns (you mess something up -> “you mess everything up” -> “you’re bad at everything”) that it becomes a habit. Your brain takes that easy, convenient, well-established shortcut over the hard work of actually thinking. And it gets easier and worse the more you let yourself think that way. (“you’re bad at everything” might turn into “you’re a bad person,” for example.) You have to actively fight those thought patterns to break out of them. It might take a long time, but it’s doable. This is the basis behind cognitive-behavioral therapy.

[@ceooflonelinessinc.267]

​@@wonderstruck.But what is if you really tried, and still fucked up?

[@wonderstruck.]

@@ceooflonelinessinc.267 then you fucked up, and it’s normal to feel bad. What’s not normal is to then blow it out of proportion or let feeling bad about it dominate your daily life, instead of recognizing it as a single, isolated fuckup. To be clear, this is not a conscious choice, since your thinking itself is compromised. Fortunately it can be fixed

[@sanaa5961]

I'd like to add, glorification only happens to "mainstream" mental illness e.g. depression, anxiety, ADHD etc. Meanwhile illnesses such as schizophrenia or personality disorders are villainised. The glorification of "mainstream" mental illness results in a large group of people judging people for actually being depressed, "you're TOO depressed, you're TOO negative, you're TOO angry, you're TOO much, TOO hard to hang around with", because the reality does not match the persona. Glorification hurts, it is the exact opposite of representation.

[@cryptogeist6233]

Piggybacking off that, another example is how EDs like anorexia are romanticized bc it’s associated with “positive” traits like scarcity and general thin beauty standards while others like binge-eating and bulima are considered gross bc of associations of gluttony, waste, etc. They really do pick and choose.

[@Homodemon]

Hell everyone claims to have ADHD nowadays. To the point their symptoms just sound eerily similar to just having ASD (they share a lot of traits but there's always a moment in which one turns into the other) But will you ever seen anyone admitting they're Autistic as earnestly as just having ADHD? No, that shit is reserved for the "odd" 40 year old man with Thomas the tank Engine pfp and extensive knowledge on sonic the hedgehog lore, that shit ain't cute, you see, I only hyperfixate (god I hate how popular clinical language has become...) On quirkier prettier stuff, like Netflix shows, and anime.

[@tumultoustortellini]

I almost feel like an element of this was kids back in the 2010s not understanding irony and creating a culture of unironic mental illness while also not having the ability to "embody" the less easy to fake or less "fun" mental illnesses (the most you see in common culture about schizophrenia is schizoposting, an ironic interpretation of schizophrenia which only arose since the pandemic, and no one dares associate with the actual label while common culture loves ironic, unironic and all other sorts of depression)

[@manwhoismissingtwotoenails4811]

@@cryptogeist6233 yeah and binge eating with depression is ignored because it has doesn't work with that skinny quirky aesthetic like when I literally can't stop eating food that disgusts me and Catch myself making food I won't eat and have depressive episodes and stuff it's not pretty and I don't feel like talking about it online with a cute filter. I literally can't stand how it gets represented and I'm working on it and it's getting better but Everytime I see someone saying "Im quirky and depressed uWU" it just feels patronizing.

[@kvdrr]

personality disorders are first and foremost thrown around like insults. "psychopath" as a colloquial term is so watered down in its meaning that it might as well be synonymous to "callous douchebag".

[@rennash2]

i think that the reason we enjoy being sad is because we can comprehend the emotion and understand what it means to be sad. happiness is sometimes foreign, and oftentimes fleeting. sadness can be achieved easily, happiness however cannot be fabricated within ourselves. we often need to look for it from an outside source.

[@carolinaamber3355]

ive been saying this. sadness is in my comfort zone while happiness is not

[@kittycat3589]

SO true

[@Syno_Phobia]

This

[@codyroach1268]

Thats a really good point I haven’t thought of actually… for me personally too sadness became a safety net. Like if I feel sad, I know what to expect and be prepared to feel. The thought of being happy and something terrible happening seems more scary than just staying sad sometimes.

[@chaitra8321]

I feel like it might be the opposite. Happiness is expected from everyone else in our lives. So maybe people want to experience sadness because it is unknown and more complex than other emotions and if everyone around us is feeling happy I should be sad. Because it's different. I feel like that might be the mindset.

[@MKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKJ]

Its feels SO good to be the constant victim. Such a feeling to be right person who was wronged. To revel in the feeling of having an audience to your pain. But fight the urges, fight the feeling. The state of peace is so much more worth it than the self-assurance of being the victim.

[@solarsystemresident]

Why didn't I get the "sad cute girl crying, listening to sad music under the rain and making deep beautiful meaningful art" type of depression and got the "can't eat, shower, losing all my social circle, ruining my talents, hobbies and my entire fcking life" type of depression instead?

[@dxv62]

Nerd

[@Wonkess_Chonkess]

​@@dxv62 Yea mollucks understands it

[@xx-fz2ll]

Real 🗿🗿 last week I didn't shower at all lmao getting I'm better though... Slowly

[@Aj-nd4kl]

@@xx-fz2ll proud of you, you’re doing great ☺️🫶🏼

[@crismondragon6045]

Do you not realize the video is about people like you? 💀

[@kejsida4921]

I've always found it kinda weird when people say that their trauma is what makes them "funny"...like it just pushes the idea that people who aren't mentally ill are boring or not funny which is why for a long time I felt like I had to have some kind of traumatic back story to be interesting. I'm not trying to blame these people but I just wish mental illness wasn't so romanticized like it is

[@kejsida4921]

on another note I still find myself trying to validate my own sadness which is why I'm so drawn to listening to sad music and also making sad music myself bc it gives meaning to my life in a way. idk what it is about sad music that I prefer to listen to it over other types of music, which I feel the same way about sad poetry and art in general. don't think it's immoral to do so but sometimes this type of art can cause the listener/viewer to romanticize being sad or mentally ill

[@JeanPKlaus]

I'll be frankly honest and say those who have never had to face adversary, often do not recognize their privilege. I too have CPTSD, and a slew of trauma. I'll give you what I mean I say, my trauma made me funny: It allows me to laugh in times of other people's adversarial ideas. As a bi-racial person, who is disabled, and still fighting to not to be oppressed by the law, by the system, the only way sometimes you can fight Eugencist, Abelist, Racist, and any other form of ism is to make fun and laugh at the thing harming you. I would rather not romanticize my sadness, but my sadness is being implemented by the environment. Until our society changes, I'll never be able to live to thrive. Only just survive.

[@chukyuniqul]

It's just that trauma causes people to seek ways to cope, and humour is one of them. Normal people don't always try so hard to be funny and lack the needed irreverence by nature. It's like basketball:you cam be a good player regardless of your height, but height does help, even if it comes with its own pains.

[@suicidalalien6298]

@@kejsida4921 you make sad music? You got a mixtape? I would like to have a litsen...

[@brekkiezoe3865]

i remember reading a tweet like "i don't wanna go to therapy, what if i lose my swag?" 💀 this is probably sarcasm (or probably not since i've never know the context) but it's a real case in so many society. i kinda worried for people that actually need some real (medical) therapy to be healed from trauma like those who got SA, saw someone got accident/killed, got threatened, etc. i legit saw people joking about them being sexually harrassed and i went like 😟.. "coping" is almost always become their reason, but i still hope people with trauma have their chance to receive help and use it, and not reject it for the sake of being known as a cool people with a life-disrupting experience...

[@halliethealleycat]

I had a bit of an 'emo' phase when I was about 12, and I won't lie, looking back makes me cringe quite a lot. Realistically, I was still recovering from my parents' divorce and I think I used to embody sadness so much to feel like I had a reason for people to love me and comfort me. It was a way for me to validate myself and my problems in my own eyes.

[@lunaa143_]

"(...) I think I used to embody sadness so much to feel like I had a reason for people to love me and comfort me. It was a way for me to validate myself and my problems in my own eyes." Why are you calling me out like that-

[@halliethealleycat]

@@libracynthia couldn't have said it better

[@karl2480]

​@@libracynthiahow do i know if i'm romancizing or enjoying? mmmhh actualy i know but 🙈 without all thos i'm nothing and i went "nothing" for a while and it ended up being the worst time of my life bye bye i go back to listening to Lana 👨‍🦯

[@thumtak_]

@@karl2480 what

[@giovannaangotti6971]

I remember to watch queen’s gambit and think “I wanna be like her” and DESIRE to be alcoholic because the scenes of her drinking alone with all her geniality, her beauty and the makeup are so beautiful

[@LanaDelBouquet]

THISS!! I remember watching and crazing a life like her's because it looked so aesthetically pleasing and I had to constantly remind myself how horrible it must have been and not romanticize it

[@mattata-san]

Women 😂

[@_Definitely_Not_A_RobloxFan]

@@mattata-san great way to bring sexism into this

[@idworxaudio]

Men do the same. I thought about lil peep and juice wrld all over this video. How "aesthetic" they looked, how good the music was. Also the romantic relationship they had with xanax, which caused their death. How many young boys got influenced by that shit?

[@user-hg1le2tc4g]

@@idworxaudio fair point

[@Alexeon]

Man, it takes real bravery to put the cringe of your youth front and center on the internet. Props for that.

[@harpreetsinghdhillon8577]

Mfs will put literally everything on a pedestal

[@shon4157]

@@harpreetsinghdhillon8577 I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with the comment or hating on them💀

[@elyace]

@@shon4157 Same 💀😂

[@chrispeace4181]

She looks good tho.

[@vilmoshamar9230]

My thoughts exactly!!

[@yaro42]

After suffering with depression for about 5 years, I gotta say, it's a phenomenal feeling to wake up and feel all right, and doing good. Feeling joy, happines from small things etc. Being happy is what we all deserve

[@heyfella5217]

Same. That feeling of happiness is gold to me, since its so hard to come around.

[@abdou.the.heretic]

How? How do you just wake up and feel okay? I just wait till I get that surge of activity of about 4 days to clean my house and make just enough cash to live.

[@heyfella5217]

@@abdou.the.heretic that surge of energy is happiness to me. The ability to think clearly and face the world past all that dark fog and physical fatigue. Its like a little blessing for a day or two every few months. But that's my "feeling okay" moment. You gotta define yours. :)

[@ScholarofProspero]

The desire for happiness isn’t bad like people say everyone want it

[@LexyLexer]

Based. Keep that head up king. Day at a time, we ball we ball

[@douglashoughton2179]

Art is all about expression. Those who enjoy that art find something that they relate to in that artwork and lets us know that we are not alone with these dark feelings and that it is ok to have them.

[@petermj1098]

It is hilarious youth pretends to care about mental illness while the same time making Patrick Bateman edits lol Maybe you should choose role models who aren’t mentally ill criminals. And those people who make Patrick Bateman edits ironically miss the artistic satirical point of American Psycho lol

[@babyblue3717]

As a preteen i wanted so desperetaly to be depressed, sad and miserable because of tumblr. It was so easy to make myself cry while listening to a song i didn't really relate to, just for the aesthetics of it... Then when i was 13 two of the most important people in my life died and my best friend committed S, then my schizoid personality disorder started to hit alongside visual and auditory hallucinations and suddenly i was actually miserable. i still remember how disappointed i was when i realized being miserable wasn't poetic, or beautiful, or meaningful, how it was just... bad. just bad.

[@wren_.]

i remember hating being truly sad because it wasn’t like the pretty girls on tv, it was ugly, messy, and nobody came to apologize or comfort me so that my problems would go away, i was just miserable and couldn’t do anything about it except hate myself more

[@KevinJohnson-cv2no]

​@@wren_. "No one came to apologize or comfort me so that my problems would go away" Because they're *your* problems, and no one gives a fuck. Welcome to the real world, it is not kind to weaklings; never has, never will be.

[@spanklie3142]

I think that most people dont want to see someone just being sad, or just being depressed, or just being apathetic, because realistically we look at media with the usual intention of feeling good, at least by the end of whatever it is we're consuming. Because of this, people post situations that fall into the vast minority of situations depressed or miserable people experience, that being the days where you feel genuinely good, the days where someone legitimately comforts you, etc. Eventually, people who have never been depressed begin to believe that because most of what they're seeing about chronically miserable people are desirable situations, they desire to be the primary subject of those depictions: depressed. Just another shitty thing brought about by the natural human desire to be happy, I guess.

[@owendubs]

Some things just suck in ways that aren't aesthetically pleasing. Past a certain degree of intensity for a trauma dump there's a threshold where people go "Dang that's a lot." and anything lower is just background noise. Are people projecting art onto real life by seeking out the fantastical? When people look at me I'm not fantastical but I can dress the scene by curating specific details about myself and my life before arranging them in an aesthetically pleasing order. Would all that be a picture of me or a piece of art made up of curated life experiences as my choice of medium? It wouldn't be objective in the slightest since there's things I can't be succinct with and many of those things I'd rather not engage with long enough to be not succinct, so what is it? I had a lot of dumb and bad things happen to me and that's the farthest I'll generally let myself go into it but that's not compelling to other people. What's compelling is people like me written about by other people who aren't like me because people like me need a translator since we generally don't have the energy to go into it.

[@joelarmando9187]

Ok

[@clitorispilled]

this reminds me of the situation with mitski, who is known for her sad girl persona (can probably tell just by her teenage fans). her new album has been heavily critiqued b/c it being different from her typical sound. she specifically mentioned that she wanted to end off the album with this one song that's our lamp on a happier note. it reminds people that shes also a person who is healing but her fans want her to stay the same struggling, sad girl she was years ago. its like just because they discovered her recently means they can dictate her music career + make her rely on a persona from YEARS ago.

[@hache9626]

Same with Lorde :(

[@Emily-pp3yd]

I mean, isn’t it the same for billie eilish?

[@SunnyBunnyyy]

Yeah it’s the problem that comes with making sadder music, once you start to get out of that and want to make more positive music, the fans still want your more depressing songs. If at first making music is your way of coping, now it’s what traps you in that depressed mindset because if you start making happier music then your fans won’t listen to it

[@denim4938]

omg not even just mitski but the weeknd too along with every other artist who makes sadder/darker music. it’s sickening that their own fans want them to be depressed. fans saying “can’t wait till someone breaks their heart so we can get a new album” is crazy to me. it’s so sad, selfish, and dehumanizing.

[@demoonized]

same thing happened with twenty one pilots! their newest album is alot more upbeat and people were so furious about it,, like the lead singer is literally a father now and the drummer is married, of course they're gonna want to write happy things when they're happy and a majority of things in their lives are making them happy, people treated it like it was the biggest crime on earth because their album wasn't the same as blurryface

[@--hydra]

when i'm on my "off" days, i always justify to myself that i deserve to be sad. man, being miserable is addictive.

[@mariayousuf6911]

It feels like I'm safe and I'm under my control....but being happy seems like it's a foreign emotion and I need to be home ( sadness) soon

[@AmberPatoc]

Be careful and control it...Otherwise,you'll have Antisocial Personality Disorder

[@Lauren-wp2pz]

​@@AmberPatoc that can cause ASPD?

[@AmberPatoc]

@@Lauren-wp2pz Yep,and also a sadist

[@late-Commenter]

It seriously pisses me off when people romance mental illness. I’ve see many books with romance AND mental illness. However, it’s a HUGE misconception. You shouldn’t feel the desire to be ill because the point is that they heal. The point is that the protagonist is HEALING. It’s saying it’s better to be happy so care for yourself. It’s not saying to be ill for attention. Relation ships are stronger when their happy.

[@mattata-san]

A woman criticizing relationships 😂

[@katherinenesseth6684]

I think part of it is wanting that kind of love and fierceness over your own feelings that the other person has. Like you want to be taken care of and loved so you put yourself in a place of suffering so someone can save you and want you to get better.

[@mattata-san]

@@katherinenesseth6684 no wonder this video attracted so many women; reflect on your misery and become a better person pls. Modern women

[@janibii_608]

I think for some, or me at least, there can be this sense of “I’m not bad enough to heal”. You don’t feel like your pain and sickness is valid yet, so while you do want to eventually heal you feel like you need to get worse first

[@codyroach1268]

@@mattata-sanu good?

[@jimascreama]

I've also heard that the human brain is biologically hardwired to remember struggles and negative things to stay safe and survive, so sad things are just more memorable. I think that's part of why we hold onto them more than happy and neutral ones

[@keyaparashar]

wow

[@amethyst4578]

frick human instincts. all my homies hate human instincts.

[@brzt4256]

I'm not sure that's true. The fact that most people's lives are not that great, coupled with the fact that suicidal tendencies are uncommon, makes me believe that people actually overestimate the quality of their lives.

[@kt2246]

@@brzt4256 it's true. that's how human brain works, why did i know this? well.. i studied psychology. that doesn't correlate to suicidal tendency because suicidal tendency has many factors behind it. every person cope with their life differently and we also have different threshold too. hope it helps.

[@alishaanimations3058]

That’s why you remember nightmares!!

[@hankwicklund2182]

As a Nine Inch Nails fan, Mitski losing fans after writing less sad music reminds me a lot of what happened with Trent once his addiction and mental health improved, people wanted him to be in pain again so his music would be "better." When his dog died and he posted how he felt about it on the NIN forum some people were celebrating cuz they wanted him to be miserable again.

[@Wonkess_Chonkess]

I'm listening to them as I'm writing this comment;) and yeah that's horrible

[@marinakesawa7470]

That's dumb. But personally, that's not why I stopped listening to NiN. For me, somewhere around "With Teeth", Reznor's lyrics became less nuanced and powerful, and his musical arrangement became too simplistic and new wave-y for me. I tried to listen to Hesitation Marks, and I couldn't make it past the first four songs or so.

[@Wonkess_Chonkess]

@@marinakesawa7470 Around with teeth you say? That's personally my favourite album, the songs are definitely more linear but I don't mind it. I never really looked at him as lyrical genius nor do I really pay attention to that in general and the instrumental structure of the songs I didn't mind that much. But I didn't listen to any albums after that so maybe then I'll look at it differently. I should specify that the only reason why with teeth is my favourite is because it stays the most consistent. I can select any song from that album and I know I will like it. I love reptile and closer those are without a doubt my favourite songs of theirs but there are just some songs on the downward spiral I physically can't listen to that really bring it down for me.

[@Wonkess_Chonkess]

@@marinakesawa7470 oh and I love the drums in with teeth

[@trumanburbank96]

as a bladee fan i don’t get pussy

[@papastummyfuzz9281]

I was so excited to get put on anti-depressants as a teenager. I’m 26 now and I want off of them, but I’ve been on it for 8 years. I have to have a medically-supervised wean off that I can’t know the end date to. I consumed romantic depression content on Tumblr non-stop. All the girls I followed and looked up to were sad and did drugs. I couldn’t wait for the day I got to be like them, free from my parents and all on my own. I consumed content from kink Tumblr and got into an abusive relationship that I adored because he would act it out with me. I even had a password protected blog where I would write diary entries after every session. I loved stoner content, and convinced myself that getting high was so cool, even though I was doing it alone with my computer. I had to Google how to smoke with a pipe because I had no friends to teach me or awkwardly learn with. I would browse pro-Ana and tweaker content to peek into the ugly underbellies of disorders I didn’t have, but drug Tumblr showed me how much bliss people felt from heroin and I wondered how something could take over your life like that. Today I’m five years sober from heroin. All this isn’t to say that every mistake I made was Tumblr’s fault, but just to give you an idea of the influence Tumblr had over me as a 14-22 year old. Once one of my phases was over, I’d always return to Tumblr because of the nostalgia for whatever phase had passed. I’d find some new thing everyone on my dash was into, and since they were my parasocial best friends, I’d do it with them. People say the internet isn’t real, but I think that rings more true for the old internet where we didn’t give out personal information or show our faces. Today the internet is more real than real life, and what you do every day eventually becomes your life.

[@deniseb.4656]

I was never on tumblr tbh but I believe the same content was on various blogs before that. I was on a lot of Pro Ana sites despite being slightly overweight and I still have phases of fasting and wanting to become anorexic. Still looking for an abusive relationship and I still want to do hard drugs. I'm pretty sure part of it is the influence of all those internet sites, blogs and boards where these things were romanticized. Also: I believe a lot of the content there is and was actual kink content written by old men. There are men with anorexia kinks and men who get off from influencing young girls and making them suffer.

[@gustavus0013]

As a teen who’s currently in anti-depressants. I’m constantly thinking if I’m faking my illness or not lol

[@Angela.Mirafuentes]

@@gustavus0013if you need anti depressants I’m pretty sure it’s because you need them

[@marioprendi8312]

I deleted all my socials 2 weeks ago and I gotta say I haven't felt happier and lighter for a long time. I started training even harder and learning new things such as Portuguese and the Morse Code. We are so much more than what social media paints us to be my friends. We are better. You have so much in you. ❤

[@chaettos]

i thought you deleted all your socials whyre you on yt

[@iluvme77]

​@chaettos well yt is an important social and you dont get easily influenced like in tiktok or twitter,instagram etc

[@Flupirkedep]

@@chaettosKZbin is not half as toxic as TikTok, instagram or twt. I think it’s also because you can also choose your content on KZbin. On something like TikTok you can’t chose if you get a depressing video on your feed

[@Jenna_Talia]

​@@FlupirkedepI tend to try and argue that youtube isn't social media because you're not communicating anywhere near as much as you would on Twitter or Tiktok. Comments tend not to take precedence as much, but from my experience, youtube comments are a much more hostile place a lot of the time. Partly due to the fact that a lot more children are on here who will act edgy and fail to understand anything you say.

[@TwoDollarGararge]

I did that myself. That is only temporary. If you delete all your social media and don't replace it with some other positive form of social interaction that emptiness and itch will come back

[@pierrexo]

suffering has a weird way of convincing us that it's more real than any other emotion. incredible video olivia!

[@jamesayewale5695]

the interdimensional fuckboy strikes again. good to see ya Pierre

[@kikithepupper6774]

and interestingly, suffering is more memorable. At least to me, it is. And also an emotion more immersive than other ones.

[@miomiomio56]

My favorite youtuber supporting another one of my favorite youtubers ❤❤❤ I'm here for it!!

[@e9ari]

@Clément BRAVIER was just about to comment this

[@hellgal88]

Xoxo🤗✨

[@PeyloBeauty]

I’ve said this my whole life. People are addicted to being sad. They actually enjoy being sad. People WANT to watch sad movies, listen to sad songs, look for sad social media content and openly state they want to get their heart broken again. And I am like that too. I don’t want my heart broken again but at night I want to listen to sad music to get sad again.

[@yuktaagrawal9890]

i like to think that we love the happiness that comes after being sad I feel all emotions are necessary if there is just one , if we are happy all the time , that would kinda make us lose importance of being happy idk

[@sassyqueen9739]

No, they just enjoy feeding of the trauma of others.😊

[@anan-ko9vt]

anddd what's wrong with it? sadness, in general, is an emotion that motivates the creation of art. there's a certain feeling to it, a sense of comfort. it feels honest.

[@PeyloBeauty]

anddd where did you pull that from? I never talked about right or wrong.@@anan-ko9vt

[@redacted_problems7089]

True. Honestly, just be. Being is the hardest part. Being is the most unreachable part. Just be.

[@R0tting.K1tty]

I’ve been struggling with this mindset for YEARS. I think I’m gonna explain this to my therapist. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO OPEN ABOUT THIS! it was eye opening as fuck!!

[@Calencrops]

I never experienced it with mental issues (since I do already have them), but I had asthma since i was born and as a teen, a part of me wanted to keep suffering from asthma. To me, being sick was the only way to get someone to care about me.

[@AJ-ms2pm]

One of my psychology teachers (shes an expert in emotions) refused to say "negative or positive emotions" because all emotions have values and downsides. There are just comfortable and uncomfortable emotions and.. most people find sadness and pain uncomfortable. Here it seems to just be the opposite.

[@LunarWind99]

Honestly, I agree ! I've found many of my 'negative' emotions have brought me great comfort and have actually supported my journey through certain endeavours etc Without my sadness and whatever I don't think that I would really be on the path that I'm on now, not to say that its not without its downfalls by far. But romanticising my mental health problems is really what helped me to cope when I was living in an abusive household and it felt like the world was against me because it kind of was hahah ^_^;

[@jakebustillos9]

I think your teacher just watched inside out

[@iregretthis]

Yeah, for me I find sadness and such comforting because it’s like a safe space for me. I’m used to being uncomfortable and hidden away (anxiety be ruining me), so if I stay in that sad little bubble of misery, I get a sort of comfort I wouldn’t have if I went out and about smiling and making friends. Plus, when I feel extra sad or depressed, for no discernible reason, I reach out through the internet to find pieces of art that give off that same kind of pain. Same with songs that make me think of all the little bad things I’ve done or experienced, or shows where the characters can justify their suffering. It’s comfort in relating to what others feel, just it’s sadness because it’s easier for me to simulate than happiness. That or it’s just my artist brain hating myself and everything I do so much that I want to make things that show that hatred, and use others’ pain as reference.

[@nikemaraje5]

This is interesting

[@KevinJohnson-cv2no]

There are negative & positive emotions; these can be measured by the outsized beneficial effect (or lack there-of) on their user/external environment. Sadness generally tends to inspire mediocrity, self-pity, a lack of productivity and a general lack of achievement. This is bad. Your teacher sounds like one of those losers who seeks to "equalize" everything in order to avoid hurting someone's feelings or facing the objective truth (I.E "This isn't THAT bad.."); so she filled up a bunch of impressionable dumb kids with the idea that depression is acceptable because it's "comfortable" to some people lmao. The crack addict is comfortable when he's high, is his habit all of a sudden not unhealthy? LOL

[@Marianna-nj3zo]

Just like Kurt cobain once said: "I miss the comfort in being sad"

[@bakugo9761]

This is kinda how i feel a lot of the time. I'm recovering from my depression and work9ng on it, but there os something comforting about being miserable. It is very comfortable and familiar.

[@Jo-sx8yi]

@@bakugo9761 ikr, whenever i feel good my brain just goes "ayo your entire mental illness is made up n youre faking it" and i just go back to being miserable

[@arden563]

@@bakugo9761 I think its more like its comfort in the known. As someone who has had depression all my life, im currently working on and trying to better myself, and to be quite frank, im terrified. who am I without this depression clinging on always in the background? Its terrifying. I felt better much of this week i think because i graudated and never have to go to my shit school again, but then I started gaslighting and worrying, did i even have depression? what if i just had it because of school, everyone else can get through school without wanting to die, why can't i? and despite desperately wanting my depression to go away literally all the time, i had to be worried that it was only there because of school and that somehow made me weak. not to mention the fact that i survived highschool while being rank one in my class, but i just HAD to focus on the negative and who and what i would be without my mental illness, being wrong is also a scary thing so most people. i really think its a comfort in the known type of thing. i don't know, thinking that way makes me feel better, i'm not ready to think i find comfort in my suffering.

[@cococoffee2305]

@@arden563 Hey, I’m sorry about that. I hope you’re doing alright. But I also want to say congratulations on ranking top in your class. That’s super impressive! Take it easy, alright?

[@cococoffee2305]

I hope all of you are doing well! I don’t believe I have depression, but I think I can kind of relate. When you’re miserable, your expectations are also very low and you kind of stop caring for a little while.

[@Julia.sbr06]

When I listen to sad music, I feel like I can let out all the feelings I've suppressed throughout weeks. It helps me accepting that im emotionally and reflecting my emotions.

[@matija160]

I think that there is also a fear of change, for me it was that my "friends" wouldnt like me the same if i changed and started being happy. Even tho real friends would accept you however you are as long as it isnt harming others around you. And having no friends because you're "different" can really help you hate yourself and drive you to wanting to be sad, just because you feel like you dont deserve happiness because you were told so by your peers.

[@daisyrocks770]

I feel similar.

[@damondominique]

from my pov, it seems that people "like" being sad means you've *thought* about life on a deeper level and have convinced yourself that you are able to see something others can't (even though this is just our ego talking), whereas being optimistic means you're blind and ignorant to rEaL LifE. idk, just some thoughts as i devour some penne pasta at 1:17pm

[@lucyandecember2843]

o.o

[@Gabriel-qq6gi]

that's so true

[@immanuel7925]

yueahhhhh, I remember being this type of idiot. Like I had issues, but to cope with those issues I thought "I have a unique understanding of my own issues". Ironically it was Stan Lee's Spider-Man comics that woke me up and realzied how pathetic that thinking was.

[@yodelrekishi]

not "deeper level" per se. It's just means, you're in the current phase of inflated narcissism that the world revolves around you in your own brain. Wanting to feel special in some way. Just straight facts. This is like being in that phase of puberty

[@thepeatboggy]

This is a basic concept about “preterite and Elect” Elect are the chosen ones, burdened by “success” intellectualism, and so on. And they go on to worry about the world , for meaning and so on The preterite are characterised as the unsuccessful, or lower, unchosen and average. But they are also characterised as simply happy, they are not burdened by so called “higher knowledge” Theres a poem that shows this, in which a pig farmer is the elect, burdened by knowledge of life outside the farm and the guilt of his pigs inevitable demise. His pigs are the preterite, who simply enjoy living on the farm.

[@sapnasana6804]

I remember when I had a really bad day or got into argument, I would get the urge to write it on paper just to make sense of what I was feeling. But when writing, I would catch myself change details to make it more depressing, to justify my anger/sadness. Then I would stop, throw away the paper and try to write again but was ashamed of the reality which was that I got angry/sad for a simple, normal reason. I now understand the confusion I felt before. I guess I wanted my sadness to be cool, aestethic and when I would realize it wasn't I would get frustrated.

[@soggyshrimp]

i’ve never related to something more

[@Naharu.]

Hi, hello, who gave you the right to write a biography of my life?

[@Alain_Du_Bois]

damn you're strong

[@sithiboo]

I've done the same thing before 💀💀 what I usually do now is acknowledge that on paper. If I was going to write about a bad day but make it sound ✨poetically✨ worse, I'd write that in my entry too. Writing is a nice way of channeling the frustration so being meta about my feelings in moment helps me keep writing c:

[@LunarWind99]

Same thing happened to me when I tried journalling that kinda stuff

[@GthDissterBi_Gblin]

I gotta say, as someone who has struggled with an Anxiety Disorder and Depression (found out as an adult it's related to myfinally diagnosed ADHD) , I remember being disgusted, appalled, and cringing how many peers I saw overtly pretending and glorifying online Depression and Anxiety as some kind of cute quirky traits. It honestly made me so internally angry and offended because I would give anything to not having those disorders and seeing peers long for something so life debilitating felt like a slap in the face. Thank you for talking about this and growing from the cringe 🖤

[@phychomaniac26]

As somebody who suffers from CPTSD, I listen to sad music when I'm having a flashback. It's an important way to cope for me because i need somebody or something to sympathize with my intense emotions. It's one of the main things that calms me down when I'm like that

[@Daemonussy]

I feel like for me I romanticized my trauma and mental illnesses as a way to escape having to confront them. As a result of this, I’ve become disconnected from my true feelings.

[@stefaniarosca13]

i am exactly like this.i couldn’t explain it ever but you did instead

[@karen-sm4gw]

i’ve never been able to put this into words before

[@annalindgren2946]

I definitely understand where you’re coming from. I only started getting better when I realized that I wasn’t allowing myself to move past my trauma because I had grown accustomed to being sad. In a weird way it felt like an addiction, being sad felt more meaningful than it did being happy.

[@richie8127]

real asf

[@trivia000]

same but then i feel wrong for it

[@thomas.thomas]

"I'd rather suffer with meaning, than have no suffering and no meaning, since meaninglessness is the worst pain"

[@scottf5791]

But isn’t meaningless in itself a form of suffering?

[@thomas.thomas]

@@scottf5791 yes it is, so i struggled to formulate a good sentence but i hope i got across the point

[@scottf5791]

@@thomas.thomas No I thought it was a good comment. I was just posing another question

[@thomas.thomas]

@@scottf5791 then i misinterpreted it, I'd say total meaninglessness would be some kind of depression where you suffer a lot

[@Singehog]

This is the egos defense mechanism, when you let go of your ego and accept everything for how it is, all suffering fades away :)

[@webcambitch]

watching this now, i realized that i subconsciously romanticize my depression. when it’s at it’s worst, my art, my life, my music, my mindset, reflects on my depression and it’s so hard to get out of. it’s been happening since middle school when i started romanticizing it and it’s now something i go over with my therapist. im currently still breaking away from the cycles and healing myself and it’s interesting to see the parallels of not being okay to actually being okay.

[@iRekishi]

in middle school and high school i did genuinely have a very hard experience and was actually bullied and the victim of a lot of rumors that weren’t true. But looking back on it now, for all the genuine pain i had i see where i was trying to amplify it and i actively tried to make my suffering a cornerstone of my identity. I knew i was doing this too and im ashamed to admit that i lied about having traumatic experiences in my past to others or cutting myself when i never did. One day in therapy I realized i hit a brick wall and thought to myself that “if i want to actually get better, and not just keep saying it one day im gonna have to stop going to have to drop the depression from my character and drop the fact that im in therapy as a key part of who i am”. I realized that day that i was sabotaging myself and i was stalling on getting better because to get better meant my shitty behavior couldnt be excused if i didnt have the depression part. I remember feeling so angry then and i hold so much resentment for that version of myself today. Everyone has a choice to make their circumstances better and although of course depression and anxiety are real things, you have the choice to indulge in them or try your best to fix them. Greta vid olivia

[@BeingElainey]

I remember Bella Poarch. Some people heavily bullied her since they believe that she doesn't deserve her popularity and success. However, some do respect her and give her a free pass when they learned that she was abused when she was young. How about people with "normal", "boring" life? Don't they deserve to be respected when they get in the spotlight? It's crazy.

[@letsalllovelean478]

I would agree with you, but Bella had a racist tattoo :(

[@marthas9255]

Less so because typically it would be easier for you, almost like what are you even doing if you aren't doing somewhat well. Why? Consider how trauma affects the wiring of your brain which affects your perception. This has severe sociopoliticaleconomic etc. etc. consequences. You would likely operate in a manner that is not acceptable to your local consensus, maybe you think differently to the point of irreconcilable, you react inappropriately to something given your local context, you cannot participate appropriately in certain things which will close many doors for you. It sounds very light and silly and easily rationalised away, the way I say it here but many people out there are excluded, shoved into the proverbial pit and paying for the way they are in reality. If you have to ask what you just did, you don't know a whole part of human reality that exists out there. To highlight this mechanic at play, you can look at an indirect topic (aside from topics directly relating to the subject matter of course), search "‘Wild West’ mentality lingers in US mountain regions" - high gathering of certain personality traits and the impact it has from the heavy concentration of certain behaviours. It's also very hard to discuss these intangible matters in american culture. American English treats all of these things as shit from thin air when even the layman recognises the weight of these undercurrents let alone scholars. There's lots of interesting reads (by american scholars) about the people having their intuition gutted from them, how to develop that god-given human sense etc. And again, if you have to ask and feel like your query is very clever, rational, logical, know that it is reflexive based on your whole upbringing. You know what I do with my stupid questions? I look them up and find droves of insight instead of slyly looking for agreement from the group.

[@after_care]

the persecution you must face for being so mediocre

[@BeingElainey]

@@letsalllovelean478 Not a fan of her, but I've already done some research about that tattoo issue before. It was purely a matter of misconception/misperception.

[@user-kk4vi2jy6c]

Not a huge fan of Bella, she''s both overrated and overhated imo, but her haters are far worse. If you're so angry about her popularity, then just ignore her. Not like she's forcing other people to watch and like her content. Lifeless behaviour.

[@lixesque]

the word "depression" is definitely overused, and thrown around WAY too easily. people need to stop aestheticizing these serious mental illnesses that people ACTUALLY suffer from

[@timeisathing2361]

exactly

[@trippie.bleu_]

Ikr people say “oh no I’m just depressed” like you mean sad??? They act like depression is an emotion

[@korkingg]

Knowing how fucked up is the world right now it shouldn’t be a surprise if everyone suddenly feel depressed

[@kavaop2121]

@@Imtheproblem722 What is the difference between being depressed and sad?

[@trippie.bleu_]

@@kavaop2121 the difference is sadness is a permanent feeling while depressed is not really a feeling but more like a wall that blocks you from being happy

[@OnlyLadyChimera]

I had major depression, social phobia, and anxiety disorder as a teenager. I found my own diary recently, all of the entries from 2005 to 2014... and I mean all of them, simply said "I'm sad again".

[@milaeyx5129]

When I was twelve, I struggled fitting in with the other kids. I generally was a happy kid all throughout my childhood. However, when I hit middle school, I noticed that everyone seemed depressed/had a dark sense of humor and I wasn't/didnt. Looking back, I wished I hadn't done what I did, but I decided that I was going to be depressed too so I could fit in. I grew up in a wonderful household with loving parents and a better home life than a lot of the kids I was around. They would talk about their "trauma" and how much they hated themselves and I decided that I had to hate myself too. I began to look for areas in my life that I was "traumatized" and began thinking and doing everything I could to "become depressed". I kinda made my parent's life a living hell(they still loved me throughout, idk how they did it) and basically became an entitled b*tch. I thought that everything I was doing to "fit in" wasn't that big of a deal and I could stop anytime. Little did I know.... 7years later struggling with suicidal depression, going to therapy and all while still harboring the mindset that "it's not okay to be happy. People won't like you." I'm twenty now and recovering and realizing how it ISNT better to be sad and how wonderful it is to be happy. I'm telling my story just as a reminder that what you think about and surround yourself with has an INCREDIBLE impact on your perspective. Especially on a child's. If you're in middle school and reading this, know that if you're happy and enjoy your life it's a good thing! You are WONDERFUL as you are and you will become a blessing to others in the future, if not now. It's easy to be sad and find reasons to stay there, but a rare and beautiful gift to be happy.

[@aslakaln2842]

This topic reminded me of a quote from south park, I don't remember which episode it was but I remember Butters saying it after his break-up with his girlfriend: "Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human."

[@Wonkess_Chonkess]

I like to say I live a very happy live but if I do feel down music always helps, my way of feeling alive.

[@Shingeki__]

The hard part is when it stops making you sad, and you have to find new things to make you sad :/

[@Wonkess_Chonkess]

@CHASINBENS It is;)

[@taylorthedestroyer9581]

Such a good quote 😭 I remember that

[@ktmccormick9447]

Episode: Raisins from Season 7 Episode 14. Butters is the best.

[@Itsjettondon05]

As someone that’s clinically depressed I went from a happy teen to a sad middle aged man in less than a year. It feels like you’ve already lived your whole life and there’s nothing beyond now.

[@reidhartley9093]

Same

[@casuals.3.19]

I have a lot of suicidal problems and it’s like being in pure fucking despair, I don’t understand romanticism. Being suicidal is like a fucking disease, it crawls into every grime and groove in your mind and even when you sitting. Talking with your friends even in that moment you still feel as hollow as you do before. Even when I just talk with them the thought still is in there. Sometimes it makes me worry the last time I’ll ever text someone. I worry if the next day I’ll just suddenly by impulse die. I don’t understand romanticism of depression and suicide. It’s fucking gross, wanting be the person who is battling the line between living and dying is fucking gross. I don’t understand it, it hurts me.

[@jewel987]

@@casuals.3.19Hello, I recognize these words a lot, I felt like that for years. Let me say that you are suffering, there’s no denying it, and it’s a suffering that is so hard to escape because it’s in every corner of your mind, building up your foundation to live. I assume you’ve thought about therapy, or seeing a psychiatrist, but part of you thinks you’ll never actually be helped. I assume you might even feel attached to the suicidal mind that you have, maybe you feel like it’s all you have left. I’m commenting this for a far more important reason though. If you can believe it, i was changed. My thoughts were changed, gradually. The messed up things I never planned to stop doing changed. You know, the things you know are wrong but you justify them cause you just can’t stop. Those things changed and they stopped. Not because I had some epiphany, or because I got enough therapy to want to live. Not because of any meds because jeez that won’t fix the actual problem. I didn’t even changed right away, it took months for me to actually notice how I was changing really. I sought God, and I changed. Jesus, you’ve probably heard that name, I suggest you look into Him. I know in my heart that if he could change me he could change you. By the way, don’t think this is all on you. He’s the one who will be doing most of the work, and you’re the one who will start noticing. Ask Jesus to help you, I mean it, and trust me when I say what you’re dealing with right now wont be forever, it might not even be in your life three months from now.

[@avavavaa]

@@jewel987not a good time to push ur bible

[@jewel987]

@@avavavaa I shared my experience in hopes it would give the commenter hope. I don’t believe his suicidal thoughts should continue to devastate his life, I know that there is a way out of it and I chose not to hide that from him. If he does not agree or if he thinks everything I said was complete bs, that’s up to him

[@nalaa9618]

I had a friend who would always bring her thousand mental illnesses into every conversation or how oppressed she is for being Bisexual. I just had to cut her off. She was so in love with being the weird one, or the victim that she would fake scenarios etc. just to stand out from everyone else in the friend group. Worst 3 years of my life.

[@Familliarsurroundings]

There’s a comfort in being stuck.

[@Itsatragedeigh]

When i was 15 there was a night where i prayed for something interesting to happen to me. I was a freshman at a new school in a new state and i felt dumb. I just wanted something to happen so i could feel something and get some attention. My dad died the next day. I know what happened wasnt my fault, but i feel like it was.

[@maubie3028]

Wow...im so sorry for your loss

[@not_pretty_anymore]

so sorry :(

[@Chymistry]

Sorry

[@riyaarokiaraj3927]

I can’t imagine what you went through and/or still going through, I am sorry. Nobody deserves that, and just know, it wasn’t your fault at all.

[@anymoose42069]

I'm so sorry

[@sofiapelle1150]

I can't belive I foud someone talking about this. I've been through similar things after the pandemic and when you said that you was't depressed but you were sad I just couldn't help relating to it. I live in Brazil and I am brazilian, but the same thing happened to me because of tik tok community. The video is just amazing congratulation!

[@leov6148]

First Time in my Life i see someone explaining what i’ve tried to explain to people for my entire Life

[@mariayousuf6911]

Trueeeeeeeee

[@cecerats]

the online culture around mental illness has caused me to want to be more mentally ill, but not because i think it's glamorous. i feel like my struggles aren't valid because they aren't as bad as others' (who often exaggerate their own). it's like i need to start participating in self destructive behaviors to prove to myself and others that i'm depressed enough

[@stelloola]

youre not alone lmao, i feel the exact same way

[@currybread5298]

I feel like that too, even before I started to use social media

[@cecerats]

@@currybread5298 me too, but it got worse after i started using social media. i try to avoid content like that now

[@currybread5298]

@@cecerats that's wise

[@anormyeon]

felt that.

[@blorfgur5430]

“The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist; a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain.” - Ursula LeGuin

[@nope8083]

Wow, this is such, such a good quote.

[@heathersaxton8118]

As a depressed bitch, I can confirm that pain is extremely fucking boring

[@dafnemuller3427]

@@heathersaxton8118 yeah im so done feeling sad about myself and punishing myself

[@Homodemon]

@@dafnemuller3427 Fuck self pity, all my homies hate self pity

[@matbmp8996]

Sounds like something a woman would say

[@IZenI00]

Hope this video gets what its worth. If youre a young kid and going through a tough time, remember regardless of what youve done or how you feel, youll always have meaning if you strive to be better and happier.

[@aresstef]

When I was a little younger I was in a friend group who lived lives more unfortunate than mine. Other than helping them and supporting them through hard times as much as I could, subconsciously I was overdramatising and making my life experiences seem more dark than they actually were, in order to feel more connected and relate to them more. I learned from that mistake and appreciate my life as it is without making myself seem like a troubled kid with shit parents. So if you have friends who are going through rough times, don’t make yourself a victim if you’re not and support them. Because your luck could shine more brightness into their shadow.

[@kaltemoehn9684]

Its scary how comforting sadness can be just selfloathing its so harmful but at the same time is a way to shutoff all the noise around one.

[@pastaslut]

fr

[@DogofLilith]

the first step is accepting just how much you honestly feel once you're able to accept that, you don't loathe yourself as much it's like a paradox when you allow all the parts of your self to be who you are and stop looking at it as a flaw to be scorned and shunned you feel a lot better and can let the intrusive thoughts go a lot more quickly

[@karlokarloo4658]

Its your brain trying to get comfortable with being depressed. When i was at my worst i wouldnt shower for months. It got to the point where the stink i got after not showering for a long become comforting. Even today when im doing better, when i dont shower for 3, 4 days, when i get a whiff of that smell its like a demon luring me to do nothing and just lay in bed all day, because that was a "safe space" for me. When i smelled like sh1t and got bed sores it meant i didnt have to leave bed aka, i didnt have to deal with anything.

[@TalpaTulpa]

@@karlokarloo4658keep fighting man

[@kl0van835]

Should I quit this loop of sadness? Or should i quit it ? If I need to quit it can you please say me how by sharing your experience if you escaped

[@senh4944]

I've once heard a good answer to "your trauma made you strong" that boils down to "No, I've always been strong. Without it, I would have had the energy to become strong even sooner"

[@imadeyoureadthis1]

It's not that simple. You don't get stronger for the sake of it, you need a reason to adapt into a better version of you. Confronting your trauma is a powerful tool, it's a stimuli for growth. Through resistance we become stronger to overcome the resistance. But of course you need the desire to become better, that's the tricky part.

[@yaba1]

@@imadeyoureadthis1 me man 👌🙌

[@brzt4256]

You wouldn't need to be "strong" if life wasn't so difficult. Don't call those who succumb to life "weak"; instead ask why life must be so hard on them.

[@PyaePhyoHtet350]

It's GREAT that people start to speak up about awareness and acceptance. BUT people also need to speak up about ACTION too. Depression isn't just about being aware. It's about letting go too.

[@mysticbeatz2922]

I find it almost absurd how accurate she manages to be about everything. Among all the garbage that is online nowadays, this channel is a true jem, and I am so glad I found it. This is the philosophy the world needs right now.

[@mariayousuf6911]

I've never felt nakedly relatable before I swear to god. This girl really splits things that most ppl do not

[@hereforthechaos7614]

I was really depressed as a child and teenager, and it took me a really long time to stop viewing myself as "a depressed person" because it did become my identity. When you are sad for such an extended period of time, during such a crucial part of your development, it really screws with you.

[@arfa6924]

same , I get it although Iam still struggling to get rid out of that rut

[@mist3995]

I think I was depressed as a kid, not because of genetics but a lot of events relating death happened one after another in my early years, it has taken me so many years to separate my real personality from the symptoms of depression. Another thing that has been difficult is friends resisting my "change" to a healthy person because I met them before I was as healthy as now, I know they miss 'the person I used to be', which is what they know, but sometimes it feels like they preferred me sad and quiet.

[@annalavender6489]

How did you do it? I'm trying to try since forever...

[@avamaria0715]

i’m going through it currently and i can’t say i’m ready to get help. i’ve tried some methods before like therapy, medication etc. nothing has helped me get out of this contestant negative mindset. i hope someday i’ll be able to separate myself from my mental illness.

[@cendre4605]

I had a so bad time healing from depression, even if I hated being depressed, because "if I'm not sad anymore after all these years, who am I now ?"

[@ohsock.5501]

That's a big mood, i'm currently in therapy trying to heal from a really bad depression and anxiety. I'm definitely happier now and i genuinely enjoy being alive, but sometimes it feels like i lost a part of myself it's a weird feeling

[@feramirez9660]

same! I just didn't want to get better. I would tell myself "why are u happy today? people will think you're better, you're happy. you're not. that's not who you are."

[@bloomenvogel]

As a fraud like Olivia, I kinda feel that way too. Its hard to dissociate myself from being "depressed" because since the pandemic being sad was how I garnered attention to myself. I feel like people would start ignoring me if I was just being happy and being myself. Its kinda weird.

[@cendre4605]

@@thekaren1111 It's what the way people on the web made me think for a while : that it had to be my identity and that I didn't deserved any attention or that all of my problems weren't importants if I wasn't depressed anymore :/

[@SodicCan]

I really do understand that, I also have trouble detaching myself from that (yet) fictitious and tragic version of me because I'm so tied to it. Kurt Cobain knew what he was saying when he wrote "I miss the comfort in being sad"

[@MLESoup]

This is such an excellent video, I cannot stress that enough. I lost several years of my late teens and young adulthood to depression. It wasn't profound or sexy, it was painful. It was losing interest in life, being unable to get out of bed, eating too much, crying without the catharsis, pushing loved ones away, missing out on life, and wanting to die at all times. During that time, sad songs, art pieces, posts, etc. were comforting but addictive. Mental illness was a taboo topic, so engaging with that kind of art made me feel like my feelings were legitimate. That there were other people like me, and they weren't crazy. However, eventually I created a negative feedback loop. It went from seeking comfort to instead reaffirming that I was "right" to feel sad, and that things wouldn't get better. I was "deeper" than other people because I was suffering. I don't blame artists for this, they can't control how I chose to engage with their art. I also don't blame teenagers who created moody gifsets to try and express themselves. I really don't blame people for trying to portray and share their experiences. It's not cut and dry. But what I am critical of, as your video gets at, is making the illness seem sexy and deep. It's just not true, and is a potentially dangerous belief.

[@Lau-fr7lh]

i read one day that sadness feels like a comfortable blanket and i think it's true, once you get there you get used to it

[@mariayousuf6911]

Yea sadness makes us believe that we're on our own and happiness thus makes us uncomfortable

[@railos8315]

With how romanticized mental illness has become on the internet, it became confusing for me to be able to differentiate the two. Like I've felt like shit for as long as I can remember, but I never know what to do with it cause I can't tell if it's real or not.

[@tobortwo3697]

Me too. I think therapy could be helpful either way though

[@arunima8138]

i was thinking the same thing because i feel like i have mental health issues but looking at videos like this makes me question myself and i feel like a fraud for claiming mental illness when it could just be me over reacting. on the other hand, if i am actually mentally ill I'm pretty sure it would convince me that i am a fraud and don't deserve help

[@ohgodohgodhelp6152]

@@arunima8138 I used to be in a situation like you. To be honest, if you are wondering if you're overreacting you aren't. I think people who are sad for one day and go say they are depressed don't doubt themselves because they want to be for whatever reason. If you do your research properly and it seems like you have something going on yet you still question and put off getting help somethings up. *I think its the mental illness that makes you question so much.* I recommend getting therapy (if you can) or talking to someone you trust (like a close friend etc) about how you feel. That's just my experience personally but yeah I can basically say for certain that i had bad mental health problems even though i wasnt officially diagnosed with anything so i dont know how helpful my advice truly is. I didnt have a sad tumblr girl phase but i did spend a lot of time doubting a real and serious problem :P

[@noneyabusiness3239]

Thank you

[@lenarauendy4460]

If you are confused, then you need help. Don't blame or doubt yourself.

[@dudough1022]

When I do feel horrible, i start gaslighting myself into thinking I was only doing it for attention. And when I stop feeling horrible, I wonder when i'd start feeling that way again because my peace feels fake and wrong. Like wtf is wrong with me. I make no sense.

[@joypearl7843]

Literally same and like someone kinda called me out on it so now I’m trynna figure it out and be better for them 😭

[@archermadsen7744]

Maybe OCD.

[@Melimop5178]

It’s also really hard when you can’t figure out the reason for your depression and you think that others have it worse and your just faking it 😞

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

It's not uncommon for mentally ill people to feel like this, it's something similar to imposter syndrome.

[@ryannishikawa1356]

I resonate with this a fair amount; or at least, the younger version of me does. I have OCD and while I sought treatment for a very different set of intrusive thoughts, I'm familiar with this pattern of thought, of obsessively checking if my experiences are real or valid. And no matter what happens, whether good or bad, I find myself wondering if what is happening is REALLY what is happening and check over and over again. Even if I come to the same conclusion 14 times in a row, maybe the 15th will reveal something new. That's the root. For the general public, this might not seem like OCD but that's because social media has greatly distorted reality. That being said, there was no way to tell through a KZbin comment. It's something worth seeking help for.

[@munii.a]

I think that having been sad or even having developed a mental illness does give you deeper self-aware in some kind of way. Most of the people who suffers those experiences, tend to think about their feelings and question their thoughts. So when you are "finally fine" you realise it, because you know what it is to be "bad", you know how that feels. But a person who has allways been "okay", just takes it for granted, and doesnt usually think of the idea of feeling bad. Thats just my experience

[@v1nzaro]

I’m 13 and I’ve been having these thoughts for a while now, your old diary entries feel so relatable. I always feel that I’m more mature than my peers and I have a better perception of life, yet I know that sometimes my sadness really isn’t real and I’m just trying to be sad to be sad. To be special. I really like the quote “the pain of not having enough pain, still pain young men”.

[@rinibunny4576]

It’s nice how you opened up about your embarrassing habits you are definitely not alone (and makes me feel less alone in some of my guilt) really refreshing with your openness

[@audreyrose1114]

me too i was so embarrassing

[@KISSES41D]

honestly i looked back on some of my old journals and it was just depressing and embarrassing

[@skew5386]

Madoka Magica pfp checks out

[@cococoffee2305]

Yeah I cringe at some of mine too >_

[@yumi4160]

I was recently diagnosed with depression, however I believe my symptoms have been here for a very long time. Being on the internet constantly ever since I was a little child (18 now) has really shaped my reality in many ways. The way mental illness is glamourized online as this mysterious and deep thing makes the idea of being mentally well almost weird or off putting, as if people don’t have character to them without a label to stick onto. And I feel this has applied to me too, I’ve fallen in love with my mental illness, I almost don’t want to get rid of it because it almost feels like I’m going to lose the thing what makes me “special” or different, because it’s what i’m made to believe. Glamourizing mental illness can in a way help people cope, but in the end it’s a trap and it only makes it harder for you to get out of it. Also causes people to take you less seriously, because “””everyone is mentally ill these days anyways”””.

[@kachuleinchen]

I totally agree with that. And I also feel like when you live with a mental illness for years, it becomes part of your reality and so it can be even more difficult and/or scary to choose the way to recovery because you can't really imagine what your life will be like when this big chunk of it that was your illness is suddenly gone. There's a song that talks about this fear and questions "who am I supposed to be when my mental illness is gone? What is left of the real me - is there even something left of me?" I think that's another difficulty of mental illness - it can consume a person to the point of identifying so much with your illness that you don't know who you are anymore without it. Or alternatively, it takes control over your life and changes your lifestyle to the point where you're scared of how your life is going to change once you've gotten better. And it's really sad how romanticized mental illness is, especially online. Because I feel like, even if we fall into this trap ourselves, we can still think about it and realise "wow, imagine how much happier my life could've looked like if I hadn't struggled with this mental illness for so long" (or at least, that's what I sometimes think when I look back and feel sad over "the years I've lost" due to my anxiety disorders).

[@joana.a4981]

I relate to and share every single thing you said. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for explaining this so well.

[@prim_manga9885]

I really relate to this. I know people usually use this as a joke but the amount of times I see people add that they give their characters in writing trauma to make their characters more interesting, just always felt like you need to be mentally ill in order to be interesting.

[@yumi4160]

@@joana.a4981 Hope u get well soon ❤️

[@flamingaish]

this really resonates w me

[@Haven0nline]

28:37 I would of related to this so much almost 2-3 years ago. I remember sitting in my room and honestly sulking and being petty for myself, listening to sad music and rejecting spending time with family. One family member came me to and said something along the lines of 'You are letting yourself feel bad, you let yourself be negative. Its a choice.' and at the time, i didnt understand nor did i want to, i felt angry that they didnt get me. But they did. I didnt get myself. This video realy explained to me why i was what i was like, because i went through almost the exact same things and always focused on the negative. Only recently am i trying to be more optimistic and try to control my emotioms more positvely, and it works. I still listen to and enjoy sad music, but i feel more free when i do this time. Thank you for this video❤

[@Celatra]

this is why i listen to power metal. to combat all the sad i have in my life. the contrast between very sad and depressive music and very fantastical and hopeful is something beautiful.

[@narwhalebatterycum]

that’s actually so real

[@vixo551]

How is power metal sad? Maybe I just haven't listen to enough of it lol

[@Celatra]

@@vixo551 no thats the point It's the opposite of sad

[@vixo551]

@@Celatra oh

[@gianna526]

Something that helped me get over romanticizing being sad or depressed was Anne Of Green Gables. (the book as the movie doesn't mention the particular thing) Anne romanticized tragedy, sadness, depression, death, heartbreak, and fainting dramatically. Anything poetic she really loved and wished to experience, which is kind of how I felt. Then she fell off a roof and fainted, and afterwards she mentioned that she no longer romanticized it as it actually isn't fun. As she gets older in the book she becomes more mature, still enjoying poetic tragedy but not wishing to actually experience it. That helped me a lot, and I just wish more kids who feel this way would read it, or something similar.

[@gianna526]

@Aprikosche you should! It's a great book.

[@AmberPatoc]

When we were traumatized for the first time.Our brain would make an urge even if we don't want to...And I sometimes doubt myself for it

[@Booksandstrawberries]

If these people had really been depressed, they'd knew depression isn't "sadness". It's a dark cloud of numbness following you everywhere you go and not letting you enjoy even the smallest things in life.

[@feramirez9660]

it's like a black worm in our belly eating who we are :(

[@qtpatootie.787]

depression isn’t one thing, it looks different for everyone. for the longest i denied i had any mental illness, because i didn’t act how normal depressed people did , or didn’t feel that, i was a functional depressed person and have diagnosed ptsd. it’s because of people saying that i wasn’t depressed i never got help for years. please don’t paint a one size fits all, picture.

[@hugo_the_waffle]

depression isnt just, "WAAAA!!! IM CRYING IM ALWAYS SO SAD!!! WAA!!!" its so annoying to people see depression as that way.

[@r8bb1t24]

Its different for everyone

[@dont_know_my_name]

@@qtpatootie.787 Thank you so much for saying this. A lot of people including myself need to hear that.

[@11ZY]

people being addicted to sadness is one of the most truly sad things :(

[@AmberPatoc]

It makes people become sadist and have Stockholm Syndrome.Society is doomed

[@los-lpsas]

One line from Feel better by Penelope scott feels to sort of sumerize the part of it, like feeling sad, now wanting to feel better and being mad if someone tries to help you feel better. "And god, no, of couse I don't wanna feel better. CAN YOU F*CKING IMAGINE?!"

[@AiYa.Ya15]

Whenever i daydream about being famous in the past, as a teenage girl does, i hsed to think," Nah, i dont have as bad of struggles as celebreties, how could i ever be famous lol." I genuinely thiught that you had to have a sad back story to be famous or successful. This world runs on pity.

[@brunoactis1104]

Shit i'd be the fucking president by that logic lmao

[@thebusybeanhomecafe4035]

​@@brunoactis1104man sthu

[@sutomuarashi]

I used to wish i was famous but my dumbasa thought all celebrities were american so i couldnt be one I feel ya

[@zainabalzangana238]

@@sutomuarashiyour so real for saying this ‼️🧚‍♀️✨

[@fern1550]

@@brunoactis1104😭

[@jerryrose9472]

My new kink is having my emotional dysfunctions and mental health conditions broken down for me in video essay format.

[@dkxeno]

freaky 😳

[@Speed001]

Tell me more.

[@achild5864]

bruh SAME

[@tttttt4546]

Wow dude ,amazing information we didn't ask for

[@justagull1498]

Damn, that's nasty

[@user-kc1sh7lj3w]

I remember several months ago when I got to know the beauty icon, Marilyn Monroe, and how interesting she was in all the moments when she was sad or happy, and Elena with Damon. I think that the sad scenes and depressed characters entrenched in our minds the love for this type of art because we are thirsty for attention.

[@inanitas]

Honestly I have "real" mental issues. Got multiple diagnosises, was in the clinic a few time (sometimes even with the "grippy socks" people seem to romanticize). This was reeeeally hard to watch for me because I actually do the opposit sometimes. I'm gaslighting myself into believing "Oh I was just tired/hungry/whatever". Like. I've been off meds for years and discontinued therapy (I live in Germany, it's not about money as it's free here. I just wanted to be normal). And I pushed it all down and started to dissociate from my issues and just a few weeks ago I started to realize that daily suicidal thoughts, extreme mood swings, unstable relationship, mild psychotic symptoms, etc. are not normal lol. So to anybody watching this who is now gaslighting themselfes into believing they are just pretending: Get the help you need. Please. Also. As a german I have never before heard "gut" means "man of godly race"? Are you sure this true? 😅

[@besserwissersmartass1170]

Danke, versuche Hilfe zu bekommen, aber alles ist immer voll und es ist zum Kotzen! Ich hab Angst...

[@inanitas]

@@besserwissersmartass1170 Hast du Telegram? :D

[@thundamuffinz1669]

As someone who has struggled with depression and suicidality for years, there is another seldom mentioned consequence of the romanticization of mental illness: for lack of a better term, impostor syndrome. Due to all the people faking depression on the internet (whether for attention or to "enhance" their personality) there is a lot of pushback. For example: "These people have never been diagnosed! They don't know what it's like to really struggle." For years, despite having suicidal thoughts, I ignored my symptoms because I thought that I too was just making it up. As such, I never sought a diagnosis, thereby ensuring that my feelings were never validated. After all, everyone must have it far worse than me, right? I was prescribed prozac yesterday and even still a large part of me doubts that I even have a problem.

[@shii9470]

This!!

[@rustythewolf1009]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've been struggling with my mental health, and I frequently feel a similar way. I second guess my thoughts and emotions, wondering which ones are own feelings and which ones are me exaggerating my struggles. I constantly think that my life is too good for me to feel like this. I compare my experiences to those of other people and think that their lives are harder, but they are dealing with it better. It makes me feel like I'm just overreacting. Since I don't have a diagnosis yet, I'm not even sure if I'm "officially" considered mentally ill.

[@thundamuffinz1669]

@@rustythewolf1009 I implore you to seek help, because from what I can tell from my own experience those kind of doubts are themselves a symptom of mental illness.

[@clarelisaromero]

I am the same. When i started taking Prozac, the huge difference in moods and feelings made me realize that it was real. Maybe it's the same for you. I wish you the best on your path.

[@rustythewolf1009]

@@thundamuffinz1669 I am currently getting short-term help from a professional. I plan to get a diagnosis and if necessary, long term therapy. My family and friends are also supportive of me. Thanks for your concern! Good luck with your mental health journey. 😊

[@southernstargazer2006]

Yo, teenage boy here, I’ve felt the exact same way about this topic, sometimes it feels like I’m being over dramatic and romanticizing depression in my head, especially because I’ve never had depression. I don’t go on tumblr or any social media to spread these unhealthy ideas, but sometimes I make up scenarios where I go through Shakespearean levels of tragedy. It’s more of a what if than a way to cope, but still, it’s pretty obvious that some people want trauma to happen to them because we want people to be supportive and have pity for us. Edit: I’m so glad so many people have connected with my sentiments, making up scenarios is a really good way to cope, but I wouldn’t suggest it all the time, since thinking about sad stuff all the time will make you sadder. I suggest maybe taking out your frustrations in art or something like that, personally, I’ve went through a lot of things this year, so I work on films/short films in my spare time for fun. Cope any way you want, just don’t get too lost in your scenarios.

[@SH-zh8eh]

Hmm I do quite get the making up of scenarios and especially creating fake characters in my head and epic tragedies while even listening to a sad song but from my perspective life has been really terribly boring sam old routine of endless studying and stress and anxiety like I don't have any interest in dating, partying and social media either. The only thing that seems to be keeping me intrigued is stories, beautiful stories from books or from dramas with beautiful characters and an adventurous meaningful interactions they have in their life, their purpose in the story etc but however they all seem to have a tragic backstory or a tragic end . I can't say that I want those tragic things to happen to me in real life but rather imagining about such things just makes one escape from their day to day boring life. At this point it really isn't about romanticizing trauma but just romanticizing about a life filled with purpose, a life like in the fantasy or historical fiction books I've read. I might've strayed from the real topic but yeah that's basically it.

[@williamestey7294]

25yo man here. I was exactly the same way my man. I used to crave pity and would go out of my way to take on more pain to get it. Honestly, that only changed as I matured alongside my now wife. She reflected back at me how selfish I really was, and helped me grow into a better person. Surround yourself with people that love you enough to tell you the ugly truth.

[@DoomShrm]

15 year old boy here. I used to and sometimes still do the same thing as a cope but I never took on more pain for pity like William in the replies because I thought it was pathetic. I low-key wanted something bad to happen until it actually did and I went into hs and was bullied to the point where even thinking about being in class made me wanna cry. Basically , yeah it sounds cool in ur head but you REALLY don't want them problems

[@WitchDetective]

Sir, that is depression.

[@actuallyloser1278]

Dude I swear, exact same issue with the making up scenarios here, thought it was only my issue

[@DEADCOLABOT]

I remember the first time I went on SHtwt a few years ago, I was still naive and I didn’t know that it would be the worst decision of my life. So don’t romanticize things because one day it could damage you terribly. ❤️

[@mariayousuf6911]

Exactly like few months ago I thought I should travel for refreshment cz I was always anxious and low But when I went for a tour, I was really the same depressed and naive....cz the problem wasn't the environment, it was me ..and everywhere I bring myself along with

[@yujixc]

As a teen girl I really feel like this I don’t know why but I’m always looking for negative things and I’m not really depressed but I’m trying to be depressed cuz it’s make other people curious about me really don’t know how to explain real myself cuz I noticed every time I’m writing journal im changing my feelings cuz they have to good bad feelings and it’s sad because I can’t even be true to myself , my family is fine but I wish they were a bad family so i could keep that innocent girl image

[@monacampbell3817]

I think the “problem” with sad art is the overconsumption of it. As an artist myself, I know how much catharsis I felt through painting or writing to “let out” that sadness, it was a form of escapism for me but I noticed once I was no longer sad I thought I had to actively force myself to be sad or listen to only sad angsty music to put me back there or my art wouldn’t be seen as beautiful anymore. It was frightening. Sad music brings a form of comfort I think to people but also once you stop only listening to sad music or just sad art in general your perspective somewhat shifts eventually

[@jes1636]

I think it has to do with neural pathways. If you’re sad a lot, your brain gets used to it and tries to revert back to that state since it’s familiar. There’s definitely a comfort in familiarity, but it’s good to change it as much as you can, even if it’s just a little every day.

[@inesscrivo4036]

this literally happens to me too. I remember a few months ago feeling upset cause my life was doing really good and i didnt have any ideas for my art since i always used it to cope w sadness, but at the time i had nothing to feel sad about. it sucks that it feels like art is meaningless without those negative feelings

[@mateuszkrytyk5711]

what in the actual fuck....

[@spicylemon989]

i had the same exact experience but with poetry and writing. when i wasn’t sad, i would try to write a sad poem and get myself into that dark pit again. being 15 was definitely a large emotional rollercoaster lmfao.

[@Jen-uk6ly]

@@jes1636 no but this is literally what I feel happens to me , it’s almost scary how accurate you described it

[@catrina6541]

this reminds me of smth i was talking abt w my therapist the other day. there’s so much on the internet saying “it’s okay if the only thing you did today was scroll thru instagram” or “it’s okay to be depressed and lay in bed all day” or “it’s okay to not shower” and etc. while it’s true that some ppl physically cannot do those things because of their mental illness, that rhetoric also keeps people from pushing themselves to do things that are challenging but essential and using their mental illness as a scapegoat, sometimes without even knowing that they’re doing that.

[@noraaokoj8235]

that is so true!

[@brainwashalpha5495]

there's people on the internet saying that it's okay not to do basic things necessary for a healthy life??? ik from experience that that kind of rhetoric would be extremely discouraging for those suffering actual clinical depression where they do struggle with those things but desire change and to be "normal", not for their depressive habits becoming normalized.

[@brainwashalpha5495]

​@@kine97​ its relieving to know that someone else recognizes the absurdity of rejecting help. but its not like there is no way to help, people often choose (if only out of habit) to ignore those helping. it is tragic and i pity those suffering. in doing so i probably contribute to the idea of the suffering but unique individual. oh well

[@threshold1]

for me its okay to do nothing, just once. is okay to be weak, it's not okay to stay weak.

[@dumgaebich]

I dont think I've ever related to a video more. The same glorifying depression happened to me in late elementary and early jr high, and the combination of the interent, and the fact that all of my friends were mentally ill, i felt that i had to have depression and anxiety just to fit in. I've learned in my later years of highschool that i actually love living, i enjoy the small things now, and while i console my freinds when they are in need, i am allowed to be happy myself. Its not selfish to seek happiness. And thank you for this video for making me feel seen in my expierence :)

[@dumgaebich]

This transition also came along with me rediscovering my femininity, learning that i didnt have to have short blue hair and pronouns to be a part of the lgbtq+ community, and i didnt have to be tomboy, pink hating, and lowkey pick me to be accepted by my male freinds. Its wild how much i didnt relize me desperately trying to "be different" was acctually just trying to fit in.

[@Angela.Mirafuentes]

@@dumgaebichI love how beautifully worded this was 💓. Just be you 💓

[@Chayoo0_3_]

Being a teenager in the 2010's I understand you, but in my case I didn't want to be sad, I wanted to be happy but I felt like I didn't deserve it and I just felt neutral and without expressions, mostly scared because I went out a lot and there were a lot of people but when it wasn't fear it was nothing, my dad was always very understanding with me and showed me the things he loves and supporting the things I love, But I felt like I didn't deserve it, I hated myself so much that sometimes I felt like I didn't deserve to feel, It's a dilemma that haunted me until I was 17 years old where I got a job and I felt that I deserved it in part for having worked for it, then the terror of the 20s (which I'm still with) and that, anyway, feel sad is okay but not right, embraces all emotions even if it's hard

[@icetomatch]

this reminds me of many fans' attitudes towards billie eilish's new music. they fell in love with her sadder, "more relatable" music and persona. on the one hand, it's understandable because billie wanted people to have someone they could relate to, who didn't mask their feelings. on the other hand, now that billie's been getting older and getting help for herself (while encouraging others to do the same), people have been upset with the music she makes. since its "not as sad/depressed" as her old music, they claim its less good. i hope this example makes sense, but its almost like people don't WANT to grow. people dont want to help themselves and get better, and they cast that upon other people.

[@cess8861]

I see this and it saddens me how many artist are called "bad" when they start talking, singing, painting about healing and happiness.

[@calvingrzych3817]

"people dont want to help themselves and get better" HITS HARD, i remember a few years back when it felt like i was "stuck" it always felt that i HAD to feel all crappy and such, its like a rabbit hole where you look up more sad shit and get stuck in a weird cycle thing, it takes a bit to break out of it and i hope that people learn that there is a better time that will come. hell nothing is forever you wont be happy all the time nor sad all the time emotions change as well as people there is always a light as well as a darkness that we are all a part of. light and dark are both intertwined kinda like life if you think about it hard enough.

[@toebag4286]

This with lorde

[@seo5458]

although I agree that Billie Eilish got more famous due to her dark persona, people don't listen to her recent music not because it's not sad it's just that her old music is actually better

[@icetomatch]

@@seo5458 her recent music is actually really good, at least imo 😭 i've seen multiple tiktoks and wtv saying how they "miss the old billie" because "she was more relatable" and whatnot. if its just because you think her old music is better, then that's whatever cause everyone has their own opinions, but i based my original comment on what i had seen others saying.

[@ary_e_martinez]

People love to romanticize the "poetic" and "tragically beautiful" parts of depression they see in media, ignoring the reality of actually having it. How it can isolate you from your family and make you feel guilty over anything and everything. How you can't get out of bed or take care of your hygiene for days, weeks and months. How your floor is covered in trash and dirty clothes and the shame you feel because you can't properly function. Because those things aren't aesthetic enough. They're seen as gross and pathetic, not poetic. People also forget the permanence of it all. Depression can last for many years, even your whole life. SH can leave scars that people will make you feel ashamed of and will judge you for. Death is fully permanent and also harms those around you I have written many things to cope with my own mental illness. Some days I have wished I could trade places with a mentally healthy person for just five minutes to get some relief, then instantly felt ashamed for wishing it. None of my rants or vents are poetic. They are simple and blunt, way different from the poems I've written as another way to cope. I've never been able to see depression as poetic or beautiful because I know the reality of having it. And before that I knew the reality of being close to someone who has it. Every time movies and social media tries to romanticize it, I want to go "you're wrong, that's not what it's like". Even if me and my friends joke about our mental illness to cope, we can't stand the misrepresentation of it because the reality really isn't pretty

[@glowiedetector]

Thank you for your comment. It made me motivated. Sometimes saying the most obsvious thing, something that *should* be common sense is actually refreshing. I, too, wrote poems to cope or at least write stuff down but im doing that less and less. I will start exactly now! Thank you again :)

[@Matheus-ki9zo]

I've been at your place for only God knows how long, and this is something that truly pisses me off about current romanticism of depression. But I don't have anything else to say, as for you said it perfectly. On that note, I do hope the best for you and hope you are in a better place now. Take care of yourself.

[@biosavat9475]

Last Dec I went through the worst time of my life. I cut off from my family, I intentionally blocked all my friends and just locked myself in my room laying in my bed all day. I didn't take a bath for like 3 weeks , I ate food 1-2 times in 2 days and only came out of my room to take a piss. Even after the holidays when I went back to school I was not able to talk to any of my friends, people whom I knew for more than half of my life, I wasn't able to tell anything to them, making me question our friendship and further creating distance from them. I regularly had suicidal thoughts and cut my hands and scarred my face by my trimmer so that I could brush it off as injuries do to my clumsiness and people believed me.These injuries and still very clear and constantly remind me of that time. I felt a bit frustrated when she said that what all she wrote in her diary was actually made up cause that was very very similar to what I felt, penting up all these emotions made me immensely suffocated and alone cause having all these friends I still couldn't trust anyone enough to open up to them, it made me feel any kind of effort that I put in my friendship was worth nothing and thinking like this made me even more miserable. I won't say I'm doing well but it is still better than before. It makes me feel a little better to tell this to someone cause I still am not able to speak about this to anyone and even if its just a random KZbin comment section, it's always nice to be reminded that I'm not struggling alone.

[@kdjoshi726]

Ikr? As someone who lives with a schizophrenic patient, I can tell that too that the way such media shows depression, isn't even close to what people actually go through

[@blergblergblerg1343]

Obviously depression doesnt look like emo media, and is mostly ugly, uneventful, unhygienic even as you point out. Don't you find that there is beauty in the intensity of it though ? Being and feeling dysfunctional isnt pretty, but it is something. Having existential struggles fuck up your life is at least an acknowledgement of them. Doesnt it make you feel like there is something in it which must have value ?

[@joeyrufo]

I do not even get the question of whether it's "moral" or "ethical" to make "sad art." I certainly feel like it's helped me out at certain times.

[@lovelyyluff]

As a teenager with severe depression, I did spend a lot of time trying to make myself feel worse because I hated the idea that there was an opportunity to get better. I spent a lot of time away from people, in the dark, I did this because I didn’t know what my life would be like if I healed, and I was so scared to do it. The next year it started to get better and this time I tried to let myself actually get better and see where it took me. That year was the best year of my life ever. I cannot stress it enough, it’s okay to be okay. Just because you are no longer suffering doesn’t mean you’ve lost who you are, it means you’ve gained who you are back.

[@zyzyx4157]

It’s frustrating for people who are dealing with legitimate trauma and a serious chronic depression to see so many people romanticizing our illnesses. Then people don’t believe us when we are in fact actually suffering. This happened to me recently. The only thing I got was silence and people threatening to cut me off. It feels terrible and people don’t even realize that they have an internal bias that tells them it must be the depressed person looking for attention, and that it must somehow be their fault. It really hurts to hear people tell you that. Edit: wasn’t expecting all these likes. I think ART has a place for talking about sadness and mental illness. There’s nothing wrong with it because that’s the way art has always been.

[@zyzyx4157]

@@softandsmart I also feel like close friends don’t understand and distance themselves from you bc they think you’re “toxic” and then shit just gets worse bc ur brain tells you you must be a bad person

[@geekin7313]

We learn to not talk. it doesnt matter. they wont care. they wont remember.

[@OwsomeVids]

Brah, cut these fake friends out, nonneed to waste time on them. You just need 2 bad mfkers who will be with you till the end and want you to get better. Just as long as you yourself want to get better( even though we dont know how and how long that will take)

[@kdjoshi726]

@@softandsmart Ikr? Then when the said person has had enough of this (since as you said, nobody pays a heed to their actual cries & mistake it for "attention seeking") ends their lives, people go pikachu face & be like "Oh no! They were such a good soul! They always seemed happy I never thought they would end up this way!" Imao

[@okaycandie2270]

(TRIGGER WARNING) Yeah I’ve been accused of romanticizing depression. It’s so hard when you think someone is doing it but you can’t say anything because you know how it feels to be falsely accused of it. Like I know someone who claims to be depressed and tries to act traumatized over an event that’s extremely unlikely to have happened. They obviously have their issues, and I won’t deny they are really sad at the moment because they have stuff going on, but I just can’t believe them when they make those big claims with nothing to back it up. They don’t want help. They don’t have depressive episodes out of nowhere (they’re only sad when something happens, like normal people with normal emotions) they don’t have any kind of flashbacks or triggers due to their so called ‘traumatic event’ (which is in the group of trauma that I have gone through, and I have sleepless nights, constant flashbacks, panic/ anxiety attacks, etc.) they can easily joke about it and genuinely think it’s funny. And I don’t want to say my problems are worse but it hurts knowing what they’re doing. It hurts even more that they started making these claims after I started to try to seek help. It’s like the attention can’t be taken off of them.

[@israwrrr123]

The "love interest" thing hits so hard, I'm a teen and I've gone through some traumatic shit, and i remember from the ages 11 to 14 i always had this imaginary boyfriend as cliche as it sounds, who would take me away and make me forget everything i ever went through, and i only thought of "him" when i cried, i would hug my pillow pretending he was hugging me (y'all can cringe lmao) and overall he was my ult comfort person, i remember when i was 14, i was crying myself to sleep and i hugged my pillow pretending it was him and i closed my eyes and thought "who am I kidding, there's no him" and started crying even more cuz i realised he was just a character of my delusions, and now after watching your video, (I'm 15 lmao) that love interest theory made so much sense to me, it's bcz the media constantly portrays the trope of a depressed person being "saved" by someone and then them falling in love with each other lmao Edit: love yall sm, and also nvm i still do it but I'm trying not to cuz it gets really bad when i realise that persons not real lmao, it does help me cope tho

[@user-dw1iv6wg4g]

hi, i don’t normally comment but i want u to know that that’s not anything to be ashamed of. you’ve been through some shit and u developed a coping mechanism that, at least in some part, has helped u survive. i’m proud of u for that. being a teenager/preteen sucks - it gets so much better though.

[@israwrrr123]

@@user-dw1iv6wg4g thats literally so sweet of u, and omg thank u for understanding

[@bear8767]

I'm sixteen and used to do something similar. I had imaginary best friends and boyfriends and even an imaginary therapist that I would imaginary vent to. It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one lmao

[@noemiethibault139]

I read a lot of fanfic and books when I was younger where they get saved by the boy …. Took me a long time to realize no one can make you love yourself except yourself. Ik my friends love me and my parents love me, but if even they altogether can’t make me hate myself any less, what can a boy do lmao

[@lulu-uw6mc]

same!! i have an embarrassing amount of fanfiction with the "depressed character gets saved by mentally stable love interest" trope I cringe everytime I remember about this. I blame the media.