☯The Diary of a Depressed Child | Part 1☯

[@missymorales7376]

You are obviously a very deep person. Those are very mature thoughts for a 10 year old. You're an old soul. Keep on keeping on.

[@iwonasaganek9677]

True

[@errxr6129]

i disagree, people don't realise how smart and mature kids are. They really underestimate them.

[@SUBZNOVIDEOS]

+Felony the-pony yea I see that alot

[@polomint4381]

Fifi-Chan yeah tru

[@Miiicah]

Like me im 10 and i think about suicide every day life is fuckin rough excuse my french

[@WhiteKiDvz]

I wish I had a friend like you

[@camaronious24]

Me yoo

[@bridgettemartins6797]

me tooo

[@valeflowers4598]

me too

[@cyadiya7762]

same

[@juliak7168]

jess pls

[@JJ-jn7sn]

all self harm is terrible but there's something about the fact that she was 10 and cutting herself that really scared me, my sisters are all 10

[@mattspell3289]

That journal cover is nothing like what was written in the journal.

[@musicallystarz3121]

like people... the outside of someone is nothing like what is going on on the inside of someone's mind

[@ramy701]

Musically Starz whoa

[@commandokitten3477]

It shows who she is people think she’s fine but really she’s dying like us all well if you’re not dying I definitely am sorry I wasted your time

[@Leahleahleah4507]

Mine is a fluffy butterfly book. No one knows

[@saidycedano7023]

To all the people who think tonight is the night. Who are thinking of picking up the blade again. Who aren't eating. Who are bending over a toilet. Please try not to. I know it can be hard not to but please don't... not for me, but for you. Because you are worth so much more. I wish I could hug you and comfort you right now but I can't. But know that someone cares and that someone wants the absolute best for you. Remember: you are not fat or ugly or worthless babe and you will be missed. No matter how terrible you think you are, youre incredible. I believe in you and I am so proud of you and the smallest and biggest things you accomplish. even if it's one day without cutting or throwing up. I am happy For you when u smile and laugh and I care for you when you are sad and down. I might not know you but my heart pours for you and people going through things like you. we all have horrible Times and your not worse than anyone else for finding yourself falling apart. I hope this helps you. Stay strong. you'll be so proud of yourself. Sending love your way :)

[@minecraftuperwag8772]

Hi, I actually came here to see if anyone wrote anything to lighten my spirits and you did, you made me smile blade in hand and so I wanted to say thanks

[@minecraftuperwag8772]

+Saidy sedano

[@junosjostrom4401]

Thank you

[@blkbird6439]

Saidy Cedano Thank you, I had a blade in my hand… then I put it down.

[@baileybrewer8551]

idk why but when i read this i started crying :,)

[@nutellakisses1462]

Hey. I just wanted to tell you something. You have a gift. When you speak....and when you tell stories I feel like I was experiencing them with you just by the way you say it. Your inspiring to loads of people. Your my favorite KZbinr and you should have more sub's. Your amazing and beautiful. I guess I'm just another youtuber commenting but I hope you understand what I mean. Your awesome. I have watched all your videos and subbed. Ok. Well have a nice day 💕

[@caitlinamandastewart]

+Alayka 〈3 yeah me too even though I just subscribed today

[@cyadiya7762]

SAME OMFG THIS

[@alicec1892]

oh hey thats my old KZbin account that i lost, ahaha thats wild! ITS ME FROM THE FUTURE, ALICE YOUR STILL LOVE JOSH DUN..

[@es1150]

Git yer own fren Omg hahah!! I love jish toooooooo

[@TheAxecutioner]

It's very healing to look at your younger struggles with new compassion. It's like being your own big sister & healing your younger hurting little sister. It's very inspiring to see you do this.

[@wineychu3673]

I've literally been watching your videos all night :3 And snap, my birthday is also August 6th.

[@BabvBlues]

Winey Chu YAYYY!!! LEOS

[@libertybonin]

Whoo for the same birthdays right?! And same i have just been watching them all day

[@mari-ne6hv]

+Howsenselessdeath Howpreciouslife this is ironic bc before i saw ur response to this person i automatically thought Leos

[@nosnnsioso]

Leos together! Also on August 6th😄❤️

[@bee2092]

August 9th !! 🎉🎉

[@unicornsxkilledxme]

That's basically what my childhood diaries were like too. It takes a lot of courage to open up and share this and I want you to know it's appreciated. If you need anything feel free to contact me.

[@DeisenGaming]

When I started cutting I used to leave my blood on my diary too :)

[@baby2343]

I used to paint with my blood and now I look back that was really odd

[@trinityh.2352]

why a smiley face

[@commandokitten3477]

I should try that i and in my diary I write the things that I’m told by the voices in my head and they tell me ways to commit suicide

[@commandokitten3477]

But sadly they only work in story’s

[@reBornMiles]

@@commandokitten3477 are you doing better?

[@ghotay3]

Gosh you started hurting yourself so young :< I don't know you, but I hope you have a great day :)

[@maddyhaugland269]

Let me tell you something, you are a life changer. Youre making me a different but better person. You're an inspiration. I want to meet you someday but I live in America. You're gorgeous in every freaking way. You impacted my life in so many ways. You need to know I love you and if you ever get sad and feel lonely, I hope you think of me. I love you. Impacted my life, impacted everyone. Love you

[@CharlotteElla]

You could legit be talking about nothing and you could still make it sound so beautiful and I would be fascinated you are amazing

[@pinkllamas7054]

I like the radiohead cover in the background. love your videos x

[@Chloebug15]

+PinkLlamas70 what song tho!!?

[@Tjckkjhdet]

OMG UR PROFILE PICTURE XDDD NOWAAAAY SORRY I'M JUST SO HAPPY ,I HAVE MY PROFILE PIC SINCE 2010 AND U R THE FIRST PERSON ON MY HOLE KZbin LIFE ,WITH THE SAME PICTURE ^___^

[@katestamand-wr8vl]

you are so lovely, truly ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece

[@alecsiapopa1977]

Halsey much???

[@kj4794]

+Alecsia the unicorn lady lol true

[@zanawhite2676]

i was 8 almost 9 when i got depressed im 10 about to be 11 i thought i was the only one this young that felt/feels this way

[@aaliyahbohny8475]

Bramron xx nope :)

[@majedarahman6226]

Me too I thought I was the only one

[@ashercanmakeapun4554]

Thank you Ana, you've helped me through a lot, you gave me advice and made me feel understood when I couldn't turn to my friends because I didn't want to worry them. I even started writing my diary because of you, which helped me overcome my cutting. I love you!!!

[@GOSTIGR]

I want to cut but the pain I want to put myself through would hurt my family and friend as well if they found out but I'm so lost and don't know what to do

[@antoniarusso8946]

Its actually a very good thing that you're thinking about how the people who love you would feel if they found out you were harming yourself. Please don't cut, it doesn't solve things, it actually makes things worse. You can try writing in journals/diaries just to pour out your feelings in it, that helps lots of people, including myself. You could talk to someone about how your feeling, even me if you'd like. I promise cutting, or harming yourself in any way is not the answer to your problems! You can get through this, stay strong!

[@milkgain6197]

I just realised that i felt the same way as you and this made me cry...

[@tf3confirmedbuthv54]

Please don't cut yourself. I will give you a reason, people just like me with permanent depression have insane attacks and I feel like everything falls apart but no. After that it got better and worse and better and worse. It gets scarier. I love you

[@RandomPerson-gw8wr]

She doesn't its her old diary

[@kimbi5523]

Watching how quiet she was here, and how much louder and happier she is now makes me so happy

[@taylorfromstarbucks1125]

I'm binging on all of your videos and pretty much I want to move to Australia now. You're such a good person you don't deserve to go through what you do. No one really does. I go through depression as well so I can relate to you soo much. My birthday is a day before yours. (August 5th)

[@leevadam6686]

this is so sad :(... i dont know if im going through depression or just sadness and i feel guilty for thinking its depression because i cant just SAY i have depression. i didnt cut myself that much, just 8 cuts with a compass, and i just feel like shit all the time you know.. and im always so self conscious and feel ugly and stupid and stuff because this girl in my class "jokes around" and says haha u ugly and shit, like its not funny. and whenever she says something like that, i tell her u know shut up and stuff and she tells her friends that im being rude and mean and stuff. i just cant be happy anymore, i mean i feel like i deserve pain. sorry i needed to get that out. love your videos btw :)

[@troyrose300]

hey you should really tell someone irl. even if it's not full-blown neurosis, you still need help. you have a problem, whether or not it's depression, and whatever struggles you're dealing with, they're valid. don't feel like you're not suffering "enough" to deserve help. please try to get it. stay strong, you are cared for

[@leevadam6686]

omg thank you so much i will try to get through this and get help

[@leevadam6686]

thank you Rose J

[@brighteyes7591]

You shouldnt label yourself as depressed unless you were professionally diagnosed.

[@leevadam6686]

yea i dont and i didnt

[@joceltudtud8633]

this is so sad. i literally cried a lot. all your videos make me sad....

[@bethanygarcia7370]

I think it's so amazing how you can literally just talk to us (the viewers) about your past even if it gets you emotional or gives you flash backs. you're honestly very inspiring for people to stop cutting, I've been watching your videos for a while now..you've kind of helped me when I'm feeling alone and when I think no one understands what I'm going thru but thank you for everything((: and I also really like that song in the background.. what is it called?

[@elenaruston]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/qGfFeK2GituDf8k

[@lilmamagc]

sigh it's hard when you 've had depression basically ur whole life. I'm 26 but I've had it since I was a teenager like 13 yrs old. I kept it all inside all this time.

[@whobeedoobie]

im re-watching all of ur videos and it made me so sad bc u started cutting at such a young age :(

[@niamhtaylor3852]

I'm so happy that you're feeling better hun, you're such an inspiration and you are so beautiful I love your videos. I have old diaries like this :/ btw the blonde hair really suits you. Keep your head up beautiful xxxxx

[@leiamay976]

This is really sad :( but it's interesting to see. Crazy how young you were when you wrote those things....

[@sophiamorgan9431]

Please help me. I don't know what to do. I cut and I tried to tell my mom I think I have bipolar depression, but she said that I was "Just going through a phase" but I seriously think I need help.

[@natalie-hu4zb]

I'm really sorry, that's exactly what happen to me

[@ydeewtinad8217]

You need to find someone who's willing to help you. Someone in your life who's willing to take you to a therapist.

[@anais.s]

I'm really, really sorry about that. You can try to open up to another trusted adult. Try your best to resist the temptation to cut. Throwing away any tools used to self harm could help. I hope you get better. I hoped I helped.

[@lilacskies33]

Omg that last page made me cry

[@chinesepoem2432]

you are brave to share your experience with other people, so we can all learn from it.

[@signingasl9698]

When I was ten, I struggled with depression too. I used to cut my thighs. I don't anymore, thankfully and I am doing much better. I hope you are doing better too! 😊❤

[@RealLyricalMusic]

I wish I had a friend like u cuz all my friends haven't experienced depression and anxiety and they don't understand me but u have been through that

[@alanamarquez7667]

you inspire me to keep on going😍😍 your so pretty love your hair and your style so much I love you

[@romeo3797]

No wayyyyy, my birthday is in august 5th, I suffer from depression too and I actually have a lot of things in common with you, I really want to meet you, your are such an amazing person, keep doing what your doing

[@tychodancer]

Thanks for sharing.

[@bruhwtfslumpgoddessriproac7752]

It's sad that ppl as wonderful as u have 2 go thu this. Everyone is beautiful

[@TheBobmarley113]

Well it seems your doing a lot better theses days which is good. The mystery of depression for is that you feel you are the only one

[@adelhughes5575]

I just wanted to give you a big hug!

[@sonnetrin9029]

i do the same ...write and then cut and mark it

[@geyocortney4862]

Hey i would love to have a best friend like you! Your style is goals! When you tell stories, is like i was there! You're special😊

[@TopShelf69420]

if I feel down I just climb up in a tree and smoke a telescope

[@dodiemartinez415]

omg i have the same birthday as you!! you're amazing ily

[@123Citty]

This video made me want to go back and read all my old journals because I was always too worried to do so Btw what song is playing in the background?

[@jellyrei9881]

i can't explain in words how much i love you. i just want to meet you can give you a big hug.

[@juliannad6091]

I love your aesthetic 😍

[@ApatheticallyPleasing]

This is so sad.. I honestly relate to it

[@ayanoaishi1385]

Keep replaying the first second of the video when she says "hi" 😂

[@paulaardissone6565]

I was depressed at a very young age too and I remember being like 10 or 11 and think I was too old to play w dolls

[@broganburgess9204]

honestly today for some reason I feel so low. The only reason that I am not cutting now is because my razor is blunt. I haven't cut for 1 month! (yay) but that doesn't mean that I'm cured. It's like a nightmare that is relating everyday. I don't know how to tell my friends this ... They would just think that I was a freak.

[@ydeewtinad8217]

Good job on not cutting for a month. But this comment was typed 4 months ago so I hope that you're still not cutting. And you don't have to tell your friends if you don't want to.

[@polomint4381]

Brill Bro that happened to me with the razor but I got another 😔

[@unknownhuman1979]

I look video better inspired me to make my own journal and read it when everything gets better and I have a better life or at least when I don't feel sad and lonely anymore ❤

[@kayahills5772]

you are so so beautiful! stay strong, dear

[@amandaadamcyk5738]

i love your chanel! you are the most beautiful saol ever and i can tell youve bben through shit but i love that you share it for explaining how it feels! can you talk more about hamster

[@isabelleloveAJ]

i cried a little :(. i litterly have a diary and i creeped myself out litterly it was a depressed diary it was scary. 0-0

[@jaylin9923]

I hate that when you want to tell someone you make them say it and not you because you are so ashamed to say it and it so hard to tell someone because they judge you by it. Some people see them and they ask even if they know what it is and they judge you for it because they don't know you like you know yourself. They don't know what has happened or what triggers this but all they know is that what they just saw is a dangerous person if they hurt themselves some people think you're dangerous. Okay I know this doesn't make that much sense but sorry I just wanted to tell you guys

[@avaako]

A lot of people don't understand that younger people can feel depressed too. It's not impossible, honestly i'm not suprised at some of the thingsin here, a little bit the cutting but not the emotions, i'm twelve and i think like this its hard and grueling i hate my mind and i write it all down but this vid gave me a shard of hope that someone out there feels the same.

[@saulgonzalez1645]

don't worry, be happy~

[@TheBobmarley113]

Who is feeling that way.

[@witchyel]

OMG. My birthday is August 25!!

[@maddiep8096]

its making me cry! :*(

[@commandokitten3477]

I really wish she was my friend

[@opop77ful]

Love your flower crown :)

[@colleenvisser2533]

This sounds exactly like my diary from when I was 13

[@vidalchamanec8403]

this is so sad.

[@courtneybbyg5476]

You are so strong 💖💖💖

[@maddiep8096]

i love these videos!

[@Jules-p9j9t]

TRIGGER vent Im 13 i started self harming for the first time who knew cutting my self would be addictive 😢this year has been too much for me mainly the blame goes to my mum but i dont want to believe that she makes me feel so guilty to get what she wants and leaves me feeling helpless its even worse how she always attacks my dad (they are divorced) its not fair maybe im the problem im just too scared to di$ i think about it alot though but will most likely not do it tho im 2 days clean my parents dont know i self harm fake it till u make it i guess only my friends care enough to ask and i told them they are helping me but it doesnt help that im crying and fighting the urges all because my mum yelled at me and trash talked me and my dad long sleeves for life i guess :( anyway enough about my problem i love your videos prob gonna binge them tonight and try to survive another day of being clean bye ❤

[@jemmasan4877]

you are not alone

[@kj4794]

When I was 9 I loved everything about my life except my friends made me mad and I felt like hurting everyone 😂

[@longpplnox9786]

like the radiohead how to disapear cover

[@jeonstudio_6673]

Me and her were the exact same at age ten it’s like we were the same person almost

[@shelbyhaverson8396]

"how senseless death, how precious life" aren't those La Dispute lyrics?

[@danidimitrov3826]

Shelby Haverson Omg yes they are, I just realized! :o

[@haruspex1294]

I can relate. I started cutting at 9 too.

[@brianahines4807]

Happy Birthday ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@ems8717]

that's really sad my sister is 9 her name is also bianca btw

[@kristinj756]

I'm 12 and I deal with this but I don't tell people and I can't deal with it

[@RainbowsUnicornsRule]

Same

[@mariacaplinger1911]

it gets better honey 💙 I've felt like that for as long as I can remember. it isn't better for me yet. but keep believing it will and it will happen. I love you !

[@alexavargas2397]

same :):

[@worldfamousgamer9191]

God bless you sweetheart.

[@maginwonderland3292]

I've been struggling with depression and eating disorders since I was 8. I'm 15 now, I have a family who loves and I get great marks at school, but I still struggle with these mental issues. From June to November, I was doing fine. Then in the December I had a panic attack at school and from that day, I feel like shit. I've started to self-harm, I'm taking medicine to feel better, but they don't seem to work. I'm taking stuff that make sleep at night, because without it I'd have panic attacks all night long. I don't eat anymore, because I want to punish myself for being so weak and silly. No one seems to understand, I have to wake up every morning and I fuckin' hate it.

[@madisonrose6324]

Please get better and sat ay strong. You are beautiful and amazing more than you realise. I know you feel alone and like no one cares but I care. Don't ever self harm again it is not worth it and has no benefit. You don't need to punish yourself your just a young girl and you have a long life ahead of you so keep going and don't end your life. Self harming and drug abuse achieves nothing and it only makes things worse. Please get help and find any distraction you can to stop yourself from harming. Stay strong and keep your head up💕💕

[@maginwonderland3292]

+Madison Rose Actually I stopped self-harming two months ago. But my anorexia got worst and I'm still struggling with depression and anxiety. Also I started taking anti depressants two weeks ago, and I'm already beginning to feel the first effects. Btw thank you for the support, you're very sweet.💕

[@foxminecraftgaminggirl6685]

I am depressed too It's hard in life I cut my arms but every time I pick up at a knife I put it down it's not fair😭

[@pippaks7433]

what song is in the backround?

[@curtis3847]

Pippa KS radiohead how to disapear cover

[@lasbesties_254]

yea me too , I have short term memory ~ pls don't judge me 🙁::

[@sawyer3184]

I've never met anyone with the same birthday as mine!! I remember trying to kill myself on my birthday this past summer and now I'm wondering what you were doing that same day. you're just so interesting and I understand you in a way but much love to you 💖

[@darkanimal2453]

I would do that to don't feel bad I like to stamp my cuts to I thought it was cool though I thought it was artistic. I would draw a person and would use my cuts to actually show the blood on my arms

[@libertybonin]

We have the same birthday!!!!!!

[@mariaeleniNikolaidi]

we have the same birthday!

[@graywalls5024]

OH MY GOD WE HAVE THE SAME BIRTH DAY

[@ImmortalHDizzle]

Wy lagh when I can CRY!

[@michellekhorozyan5055]

Not to be dramatic or anything but like I would step on 3 LEGOS for you girl.

[@littlekym7891]

I finally found someone who has the same bday as me lol

[@lucyluimusic3515]

Omg my birthdays on August the seventh haha

[@svgstarlight]

Aye you're birthday twinning with my brother

[@autumnmicovich5973]

the Radiohead in the background needed a trigger warning fuck

[@tessabrown6987]

Oh my gosh.😭

[@theresafloresca1509]

Diary no one can know . 😭😂👏👏👏👍🏻😏 but anyway thanks. 😂😬😭

[@katelynkritz5232]

Your Depressed too? So am I....Suicide thoughts started happening....(I'm 13)

[@commandokitten3477]

KatelynKritz same her but I’m 12

[@commandokitten3477]

But mine didn’t just start

[@zairavillavicencio234]

Commando Kitten me too

[@sydneylenz5903]

Your so pretty💕💕💕

[@gentryagar4755]

What song is this I really like it

[@michellekhorozyan5055]

How are you the cutest person but like what omg

[@ImmortalHDizzle]

is that how to disappear completely in the background? who covered it?:)