The doctor who walked away | Maria Phalime | TEDxJohannesburg

[@GenerallySmiling]

I left my nursing career. Our stories are very similar and I left for all the same reasons. The wisest words were spoken at the very end - "The world needs us at our very best". So if you are dying in your profession, then you are doing more harm than good. Find a place where you thrive and that thriving energy will ripple out to infinity effecting all in its path in a positive way.

[@cieradavis4807]

Megan Paterson I wish I could like your comment over and over again it’s a fact!

[@rahmad4137]

It's hard to admit this, but it's upsetting to me to hear about people who quit healthcare. Perhaps I'm still too young and haven't seen enough to understand. No one should lose who they truly are, but I feel like there's an ethical issue if carers quit - the very people saving other souls. Then again, I'm a biased medical student :) All the best

[@docko2529]

Megan, when we find the moments in healthcare that help us strive, then we receive the energy we need to serve the next patient, then the next, and the next. In what seems like no time at all, we have been able to serve people for 30 years and we can look back on that with some sense of satisfaction, and fulfillment. It's those moments when patients reach out to us and connect with us that give us that energy.

[@caileysmotts7190]

I very recently left medicine as well, and this video brought tears to my eyes. I think there's this generalized understanding between medical professionals , we know our stories are so similar. It was and still is painful to leave and I am in this weird phase where I feel pretty directionless after years of being so devoted and driven. But I also feel relief, I feel emotions that I have suppressed and am finally able to feel and let them go. I am finally able to take care of myself. So I feel empowered in that way.

[@GenerallySmiling]

The problem is, is that I did feel I was serving anyone. I knew there was a better way. I stopped believing in the western medical approach. Because it is not working. I saw things that were working elsewhere. I started learning things and seeing how what we were doing wasn't working. I knew of other ways of handling situations that worked and that we were not doing within the confines of the medical establishment. I simply did not believe in the system any longer.

[@maproda]

She is so articulate and has a great voice projection too, i can listen to her all day long.

[@larrysmith647]

@ Farai Chingono-----she is one of the most intelligent people whom I have ever listened to !!!!!

[@memorymalunga670]

She really is very articulate. Very brave as well.

[@TheSouthIsHot]

“Don’t Cling to a Mistake (or life choice) Just Because You Spent a lot of Time Making it.” - Aubrey De Graf

[@ellaloc4]

Thank you for saving my life I am quitting med school today... I am just like you I came form poor reservation and how you explained your dreams is how I felt. I am the first native medical student in my family but idc anymore and I am done. I am getting my life back medicine is a dark hole and I will not waste away my life any longer.

[@MariaPhalime]

All the best!

[@Chimonger1]

It can be utterly soul-crushing, working in corporate, cookie-cutter “health” care! ...Because it’s based on things like that flawed germ theory, governed by corporate-think, toxic-capitalism business models, barely a nod to ethics, or actual humanity. I had to keep working in it, but with some traumatic nudges, gradually chose my way into what’s commonly called “alternative” medicine. Grandma warned, “it’ll ruin you for working in regular medicine!”. I asked, “How is that a problem, specifically?” (She had no answer). I ended up in that for over 10 years, compared with barely physically/emotionally surviving a year at a VA hospital, & a year at a Kaiser, a couple nursing homes, some temp work. What mind-exploding, tangled craziness! The nightmares witnessed, in how patients were treated & processed, were legion. The stress levels for all, were deadly. I finally had to stop trying to pump-up a deluded mood daily, just to get in the car to get to work, at regular hospitals or clinics. It’s Industry pressures towards minimal staffing...which fails to be able to deliver even basic adequate care. Pharma & treatment protocols pervasively lie about safety & efficacy. Forget charting truthfully... ...industry forbids that, to prevent lawsuits. It was still a challenge working in an alternative med. doc. office, because of still having to deal with some insurance, some helping patients navigate the disability system, the long commutes in heavy traffic. But it was also more humane, compassionate. There was a learning curve, but that’s one of the things we do...learn. I really hope you find just the right niche, so you can know that there ARE ways to do it better, being a Doctor....it’s not only facilities anymore! There are MANY ways to be a Doc, and nurture yourself, while doing something you started out liking. ==> Figure out specifically what it was that got you to go towards Doctoring...that might point the way to a niche that uses that education in a way that fits you, much better than corporate medicine. Even if you stop formally being a Doc., though, if you have training in medicine, you’ll probably find it leaking over into other things you do...like the ex-surgeon who quit doctoring to hands-on run his own mechanic shop; or the Doc who quit to play piano. I finally quit, disabled...but kept doing Volunteer Advocacy (helping some poor folks get their health & living needs met...there are so many who fall through cracks in systems!). There’s no paycheck. But, I get to do it as much as my limits allow; it helps them, & helps me...so everybody wins!

[@Chimonger1]

You must have had had good reasons for wanting to get into medicine....remember what those were! Then look around your situation...if you used those same desires, but fashioned into a form that makes your heart sing...what might that look like? For me, there was a realization that there had always been a knowing that plants, foods, were medicine. But, in this world, to do anything legit with what I believed, it was necessary to earn an actual, accredited license, then do at least the minimum time in an acute hospital setting, to make others believe the paper was real. THEN I could step sideways into natural health care (what most call “alternative”). It was terribly Brutal, surviving school, much less 2 yrs. in acute hospitals. And worth it. I just had to keep remembering why that process was necessary, therefore why I was doing it. Know that there are a couple adages...one about knowing that hardships teach us what easy paths don’t, and, look out for the path of least resistance. There has to be a balance of those. I hope you find just the right niche!

[@prayerpower1585]

@@Chimonger1 All things will come full circle to the truth. As of last year there is a new US MD specialty called Lifestyle Medicine that purports to do the things you mentioned. One does not even have to be an MD to be certified, as there are different levels of certification based on previous training. I don't know how it's different from what the NDs do. All the best to you!

[@Chimonger1]

@@prayerpower1585 It might be a good thing. OTH, Over decades, I’ve seen various things pop up, and become something certain persons profit hugely from, while many who take their classes, don’t. There are usually plenty of ways to learn to be a “Lifestyle” coach. It’d have3 been disastrous if the State suddenly required me to have a Lifetstyle Coach license, as well....that would really reduce people getting helps they needed. I call it, “Volunteer Nurse Advocacy”. Using knowledge and experience I've gained over a lifetime, to help others. Nope, there’s no paycheck. But it feels good when someone else get help they need, instead of being bullied by Agencies, or falling through other cracks in systems. It might not be much; might be small things or large. Bottom line, those in need, get some help. IF I were still raising a family, I’d need to get paid...but how might that interfere with many who need help, but cannot pay for it? Could really help, getting some extra income. But, for the ethics, for the returns in Joy and Gratitude, it’s a win.

[@darrenlawless4568]

15:52 "Believe me when I say this, it's not easy when you realize that some dreams must be allowed to die"...That is such a powerful and profound statement and is wholly applicable in a variety of situations.

[@gleemay2726]

It is indeed profound.

[@HELPforPain]

"dreams" clarified 3-year-old common sense simple 1-2-3! Explained based on Einstein laws of the universe and Newton's Laws of animal planet muscle movements; dreams are sparks of electricity generated in your brain matter by your Chi, ricocheting of the inside of your skull you and only you can witness in your head, only you can behold, you must learn how to control your behaviors. mind + muscles -> one way equation; you pulling the trigger of a gun aimed at a child's head sound blast explosion ( 2 types duality)-> permanent prominence, reverberating, ricocheting, vibrating, resonance, E= mc2 = 1 outer space. F= ma = 1 interspace within blue planet. 1 DNA that's us we're the only creatures that can separate energy and matter creating a nuclear bomb specifically designed by males to blow their mothers children up into minced meats.

[@sneeksism]

"...But out of letting go, something else becomes available.." So powerful...What a lesson in giving oneself a second chance!!!

[@thndythemedtech2143]

The way she articulates herself it's out of this world. I can literally see 👀 the story as if I was watching her real life story from a distance

[@beverleybrangman2191]

This story resonated with me so much. I am not a doctor, but a nurse who left my profession for 15 years. I had only practiced nursing for 1 year, when due to burnout and overextending my self,I was all DONE. I went back to school, and decided I would NEVER go back. However due to self reflection, maturity, and better self care,I returned to acute care in 1992, and with new vision and purpose I stayed for 25 years, my focus being to first make a difference every day. It was tough when I returned at age 40, but GOD had prepared amazing mentors for me. I still remember their names, and am forever grateful. I consider myself a nurse educator, and mentor to other struggling nurses, and seek to give back still at age 70 all my days. God bless you on your journey.Thank you for your transparency.

[@kegomoditswemathobela8855]

'It's a powerful act to put your hand up and say "I'm struggling"'...the truth of this statement, wow. Thank you for sharing your story.

[@MariaPhalime]

+Prudence M Thank you!

[@ashokmevati8098]

Kl╭∩╮（︶︿︶）╭∩╮Σ(っﾟДﾟ；)っ(´∀｀)♡

[@zandimdluliskhandzisa4722]

This isn't just for those in the medical fraternity...but for everyone. We all at some point are enveloped by disillusionment and doubt. And yes we fear being convicted and conform to what society expects of us - hold on, even when our arms weary. Profound talk. The world needs me at my best. I am taking that everywhere I go. Thank you Maria.

[@maihernandez1202]

i feel you doctor as im also a physician working for the government.. i admire your courage to walk away from what you loved and sacrificed for.. god bless you in your endeavors.. once a doctor is always a doctor.. 😇

[@GroudFrank]

This is easily one of the best Teds out there.

[@janennabuchi6667]

The world needs us at our best. That is the basic truth which is easily forgotten while we struggle to impress the world

[@amyt6254]

It really spoke to me when she said letting go of something not working can open us up to other important things.

[@otienoagiro]

Viewing from Nairobi. Very good command of language with no L1 interference. If she spoke in Kenya noone would tell if shez South Afrucan! Excellent good poise...spoke from deep reserves.

[@silindokuhlemalaza7658]

I am an attorney leaving the legal profession. My last day is 31 May. I almost cried when watching this, it resonated with me profoundly. It is painful confronting the truth of knowing and understanding that law is not for me. I struggled in my short lived career.

[@MariaPhalime]

+Silindokuhle Malaza Thank you for your kind words. I wish you all the very best with whatever life has in store for you after 31 May. Take care!

[@atlmprof1]

This talk was right on time. I am a teacher. I am also struggling with burnout and overwhelm. I felt I have a bit of PTSD from dealing with troubled and aggressive students.

[@a.citizen7668]

It's still a good degree for industry. I got one to enhance my business degree and have been eating nicely every since and I have not practiced law one day in my life.

[@pamelag7553]

Altmprof1, teaching has to be one of the hardest jobs in our country right now. Thinking of you and praying for the best. Please make choices that protect yourself and look after yourself. You are important too! And there are other ways to give back and help kids these days that may be outside the classroom. You clearly have a lot to give but you must also look after yourself! Best wishes to you.

[@sdottin2841]

@@atlmprof1 I left teaching. Don't miss it. Just make sure you're financially ready for atleast a year while job hunting.

[@stephenkuria9477]

U hate these words" I wish I had left my earlier employment earlier time than I did" but the truth is very few people can walk away from a milking cow to the unknown world out there. It takes an unprecedented event. In my case the hotel Diani went bankrupt and we employees had to go find livelihood elsewhere. The obvious first move is to find another similar job which I did over the next 3 years in a neighbor country Uganda, but it's when I strucked out to find own business in construction industry supplying material for hire is when I truly thrived. Being happy and spreading the same to others in your journey of life is so precious and satisfying it has no competitor. Thank God for this beautiful times were born in where you can work in the house at hours of your choosing. Thank you.

[@katebanks4122]

As a girl who wants to go into medicine this was very eyeopening. Such a calming voice and inspiring speaker!

[@martharinebiseko1457]

I too quit for pretty the same reasons but with no guilt. I felt I had served to my best

[@dr.dermixgirlmd7479]

I wish I had been able to walk away from surgical training rather than self sabotage my career as a way to get out...walking away is brave

[@Totalavulsion]

Have you left medicine? I feel trapped.

[@roymendez9054]

Totalavulsion im on my second year and i feel trapped too

[@angeleyeselsieshikwambane1199]

Roy Mendez it wont get better..am in 3rd year and its wooorssseeeee😭😭

[@dr.dermixgirlmd7479]

I didn’t leave medicine but it was mighty hard changing directions. I am in Dermatology now.

[@anonymoususer-t7r]

@@angeleyeselsieshikwambane1199 oh my, I'm really sorry to hear that. Which country are you located in?

[@SiyaSpeaksNgema]

This story deserves to be seen by almost every healthcare worker. it is inspiring and the voice of the speaker alludes as it teaches.

[@annebrearley6121]

Found this very moving. You were probably speaking to the majority of people who are afraid to let go x

[@tamaradaka9393]

I was 17 when I started my 7-year medical training. I had so many hopes and dreams, but only a year into intership, all my dreams have come crushing down. I loathe going to work everyday and have wrestled with the big question, "is this really for me?" Thank you for sharing your story...it'll help many of us avoid making the wrong decisions❤

[@hombo88]

It was an extremely hard decision for me too...I felt guilt and shame and even had to deal with anxiety and panic attacks .I even sometimes felt that I had let my society down as doctors here in india are expected to make an impact on people's lives especially the poor and downtrodden..I'm still struggling and I needed to hear this..thanks

[@MariaPhalime]

You're welcome. There are many ways to make a difference in society; all is not lost. I wish you everything of the best.

[@hombo88]

Thank you and wish you the same

[@ayri02]

@hoishey may i ask you what you are doing now?

[@fragrancedeparadis1275]

What a woman! May the LORD grant you success and blessings in your new endeavours. God's will be done

[@maltibweh]

Amen

[@dikehuchendu5827]

Quite an inspiring story. It takes more than courage to stay away from identity you've grown accustomed to. Ultimately, the world 🌎 needs us at our best

[@laromkashy3136]

As a struggling doctor who's also thinking to leave the profession, I would like to thank you for your courage and honesty. You explained everything so very beautifully and it was truly inspiring. I will keep thinking and processing what you just said. Thanks

[@tlcSerenityScents]

Listening to her and reading these comments is such a reality check and at the same time liberating! So real on so many levels and life paths. I must share this.

[@alicegauteng2358]

I am South African living in Canada. I am a social worker and I HATE IT!!!! I am sick and tired of people doing the same mistakes over and over and expecting different results. I am a social worker not a miracle worker. Lawd give me the strength to quit.

[@2011WN]

Very, very powerful testimony even for me not in the medical profession. "I'm struggling", "Hellish", but most of all, the words "Believe me when I say this, it's not easy when you realize that some dreams must be allowed to die" - these three speak to me in more ways than I thought they would before I listened to your whole story. It helps to know that one can wake up and leave what looks like a dream job even when no one else but you understands why you must do so. Thank you for sharing this with us, Dr Maria Phalime.

[@teresagarcia5315]

Many physician & nurses are going through this as we are going through this hellish covid pendemic. Lots of burnout! Our prayers are with you. We, the public need to do our part & stay isolated. Stay home,people !

[@AfricanLolly]

What a fantastic insight and great message. Haven been a patient at a SA Govt hospital I can only confirm first hand the shocking state of Govt Hospitals. From not having equipment that doesn't work to Nurses who don't care a damn. It's now just a job and not a caring career! I witnessed first hand a Dr in Emergency Ward trying to use at least 7 different blood pressure monitors and none of them worked!! .In frustration he threw the last one on the floor and shouted "I can't work like this! Nothing works". From hospitals not having pillows as all stolen!! To someone else's information in my file!! I just wish I had reported this, as the nurses on 2 occasions tried to give my high blood pressure tablets... I'm not on any medication. When it happened again I requested to see a Dr. She asked me how old I was... The file said 88!! Wrong I go in my file... So I could have ended up having wrong procedure!!! How scary is that!!!

[@OmarAbdulMalikDHEdMPASPACPAPro]

This is an AMAZING STORY!!! I really enjoy medicine as a Physician Assistant/Associate However, I see so MANY doctors that are ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE! They hate what they do. It comes out in the quality of their work and their attitude toward others (even their OWN patients!). I applaud this young lady's decision!

[@pauld4355]

listen to how they talk, especially her, it's always about themselves.Glad they leave

[@goldenazucar3726]

Omar Abdul-Malik DHEd, PA-C Hey I've seen a video or 2 of yours before. Im struggling to find my path in nursing or PA school. Can I email you?

[@docan5248]

Paul D Either you’re a Dr. yourself who doesn’t like what he’s hearing, or you’re being too dense to understand what’s being said. Like it or not, he who cannot help himself, cannot be expected to effectively help anyone else. This is epitomized in the field of medicine where all too often the business of healthcare prioritizes profit over the physical and mental health of healthcare providers, unfortunately contributing not just to burnout of the employees themselves, but increases in medical errors and deterioration of the quality of healthcare provided. Try filling another’s cup, when yours is empty. Tell me how that goes.

[@okotray4577]

Yo right, don't force yourself for something if you can't give your best for it.

[@docko2529]

@@docan5248 That's the key, Sam - fill someone else's cup, and give first. There is a Rule of Reciprocity that kicks in and that rule has been noted over the millennia by some of the greatest thinkers, and leaders.

[@davidcoen6553]

What a sober, balanced and non-judgemental talk. I'm reminded of what my former psychotherapist said to me in a session several years ago: "You've built yourself this fantasy world that revolves around medicine, and you're using it as an emotional crutch. You don't need it." I think that there are very very few people who are truly selfless when choosing medicine as a career. It's undeniable that doctors have a degree of power, and prestige. Part of the problem is the outrageously high cost of studying medicine and the commitments/sacrifices required to stay in it. This is changing somewhat, at least with the introduction of Less Than Full Time training here in the UK. I don't care what anyone says - why should you work crazy hours like a dog? Why should you almost never see your wife and kids? Because of some crazy notion of a "vocation"? No way. That's how people are sucked in and kept in. For some people, switching specialties or reducing hours might be a solution. For some, though, an exit is the solution, and it really is all about the question "Is this still working for ME?" As an old colleague of mine used to always say whenever I'd gotten into trouble for some reason or other at work, "Iss not the end o' da wewd". (It's not the end of the world, but in a Dagenham accent! 😉) NO, it really ISN'T the end of the world, and it STILL won't be the end of the world tomorrow.

[@MariaPhalime]

Indeed! Thanks, David.

[@jamesm.9285]

Wow, thank you for sharing this. I myself am from right next to Dagenham and am age 21, super passionate about health and nature, and meant to be starting an Access to Higher Education Course for Medicine and Medical Sciences this year. I've seen so many positives mentioned, but at such incredibly crushing personal cost throughout one's student and professional life, and I'm honestly already scared. My long-term goal is to start my own business anyway, but working as a doc in Australia or via Telemedicine is one of the goals I have dreamed up, too. My alternate thought is to do the Access course and then maybe use it to actually study Business at Uni if my heart isn't n this field. For me, LIFE and travel and balance and personal health are priorities, but so is helping others. If I becoming a marketing director or start my own business I the healthcare field, perhaps I get the best of both worlds, but I know no one in the medical field I can speak to. Would you say it's really not worth the personal and financial burdens for most doctors??

[@davidcoen6553]

@@jamesm.9285 Don't be scared. There is at least one thing I know of: Less Than Full-time Training. That's in specialty training for hospital docs, but I mean come on, if there are part-time GPs all over the place (for example), surely surely surely there can be reasonable adjustments made for any individual. Also, not every specialty is alike. For example, I did discover that rheumatology is nicknamed "rheumaholiday" and perhaps dermatology likewise! 🤣

[@jamesm.9285]

@@davidcoen6553 Thank you, really, for the reassurance. 🙏 I'm still torn because I see so many doctors and med students confessing falling into burn out and depression and ill physica health and basically regretting their path. At the same time, if I REALLY want to have a big impact, maybe biting the bullet and trying to go into business to market and grow a functional health clinic would be the actual best way. If I can strike a life balance in medicine, I will do it, but I vowed years ago after my own health problems that I would never take on a role that sacrifices my health - it's not worth the money, time is our most valuable asset, and if I can't take care of my own life and family and health, how on Earth can I sustainably do the same for anyone else, you know? 🤔 At the same time, my childhood dream has always been to travel the world and work in my calling (to help others with their health in a holistic way), and it seems like I'd be delaying that opportunity for at least 10 years! It's tough to make a decision... Really tough. I'm not sure if you have anything to add, but thank you once again for shedding light on the positive potential. 🙂

[@kdoc19961]

This is one of the best talks I have seen on TED. I can relate to her story but I am just not brave enough to walk away. It was expected that I would become a doctor because I said that is what I wanted to be while in kindergarten. My parents latched on to that declaration and my life track was set. I always wanted to please my parents so I never even entertained doing anything else. It wasn't until early in my post residency career that doubt started to creep in but I pushed forward. I thought that the next step would bring me happiness and fulfillment but it did not. I went from academic to private practice to hospital employed thinking that the grass was greener on the other side. Becoming a mother has just added to my discontent with my career choice. I feel like I am missing their childhood but at the same time my income from being a doctor has allowed us to live better than I did as a child or at least that is what I tell myself as motivation to keep going. I am not totally miserable as a doctor it is just not as fulfilling as I thought it would be. Unfortunately, I don't have the courage to say goodbye so I will find the strength to keep going and hope that my children's lives are better because of my silent suffering.

[@kazee3661]

There is so much we sacrifice for the sake of our children but they grow up and have lives of their own. Your spirit is speaking to you and I hope you follow your heart. Peace and happiness comes from within.

[@rosalbahamer994]

Stop buying luxuries find your tru passion n follow it slowly .

[@kdoc19961]

@@rosalbahamer994 Believe me I have stopped. My main luxury now is my kids current tuition and college savings. I no longer feel the need to drive a BMW or have expensive clothes or a larger home. I am hoping that in the next 4 years that I will have enough saved to cover the cost of my kids college tuition and then I feel like I might be brave enough to retire from medicine.

[@cieradavis4807]

May you connect to the true desires of your heart, it is then when you connect the real you. Wishing you all the best! 😁😁

[@rahmad4137]

@@kdoc19961 I'm still only a third year med student, but already I'm afraid I won't have enough quality time for children some day. As someone who grew up to parents never spending quality time, it's painful and it's made me realize how insecure I am at 21 not having enough to look back on. To this day my emotions don't carry me well because of it. As long as your children receive undivided attention they'll grow up happy.

[@ABirdOnTheMoon]

I just left my profession as a medical scientist and a clinician .. I am in my 30s and it was so hard because I didn't leave out of luxury but out of necessity to save the last brain cells I was left with. My mental, emotional and physical health got affected and I decided to choose myself, my health and my life .. instead of my work. It is so scary because in a way, it is leaving financial stability and because I have no plans. I was reduced to a ghost and I wasn't living so there was no space for me to process it slowly; it was a sharp incision / cut .. I look forward the day everything makes sense and I am a happier person.

[@MariaPhalime]

Wishing you everything of the best.

[@boitshepogopane1064]

I can feel your energy through this talk😭. I am in the same boat of wanting to quit but influence force me to stay. I can clearly attest to your story because its costing my health in all forms (mental, physical, spiritual). I believe this video was meant to awaken the truth in me, the year 2014 was the toughest year of all my life but I never gave up.

[@princessfaithful6539]

Just needed to hear this, celebrating my 50th birthday preparing for my speech on why I quiting worldly lifestyles. Now leaving at the village free and peaceful, naturally and off technology lifestyle.

[@jamesm.9285]

That's amazing, well done! 😀 Would you mind if I asked what career you did before that enabled you to make the change?

[@Prudence229]

I’m so glad I pressed play...

[@brianmwakio1977]

Unfortunately what they call passion is just hanging in there. Proud of everyone who walked away, how brave of you.

[@lean9709]

Well articulated, beautiful eloquent speech. She is well spoken, I like her English!

[@siyamthandacindi1942]

What an inspiring story. I'm so happy that I came across this. I'm a junior doctor and doing my second year of internship and I'm really dreading clinical medicine. I've suffered from extreme anxiety, major depression ad suicidal ideation. I pray that for community service I can be placed in a non-clinical department where I can thrive again. Nevertheless I'm grateful for this video because it gave me some very useful prayer points. Please keep me in your prayers.

[@dumisanitshabalala1571]

Cindi will definitely pray hope you stronger

[@kwamesarpong1925]

The take away is " The world needs us at our best" . What a talented woman!

[@KeloKubu]

One of my favourite talks from TEDxJohannesburg 2014. Thank you.

[@MariaPhalime]

Thank you so much for the opportunity!

[@zedriz8538]

+Maria Phalime Very powerful speech, im also on the verge of quitting pursuing medicine. This has spoke volumes for me. Thanks.

[@MariaPhalime]

+Zed Riz Thank you! Wishing you all the best on your journey.

[@funkemusicministry]

I am so happy I was not able to pursue my medical career, being a registered nurse is a big challenge on its own. I am now in Seminary College, am also giving my attention to my music ministry that I had abandoned for so long. I am grateful that I am multitalented. Medical world is a sad world, diseases and sicknesses just rule our days except the Maternity units- happy babies. You have to find a balance.

[@carolmunro4293]

U made my day, because I had to deal with if I was correct on giving up a childhood dream and all I had gained from it, to live the truth of who I was. Just me

[@bajone02]

If someone does not want medical care after getting the best care possible in that situation and won't accept more offered help, it is not this doctor's failure to let him get into the taxi. For her to feel like it was her duty as a medical person, she is assessing her duty too highly. She has very many good points about failures in the system, no matter the country.

[@gloriabukachi1]

This is the decision I am bout to take. The world needs us at our best. I must do something that can thrive.

[@kitelouma2721]

Hello Dr Maria. Love your talk. And 25 years from now your story will still be relevant. You are very wise. Wish you all the best.

[@varunthedoc]

I am a anaesthesiologist from india. Other than my income nothing else interests me now. I was so enthusiastic earlier in med school, internship and as jr and sr resident in one of the best hospitals of the country .But now I just think of quitting medicine before going to sleep but I just don't have the courage to do so. Attempted suicide multiple times. I just don't know now .... anaesthetic drugs, frustration , depression....bad combination. I just want to lead a peaceful life...away from the never ending expectations of a doctor.

[@MariaPhalime]

Hi. Thank you for being in contact. I'm sorry that it is tough. Please get some help before it's too late. As doctors we must remember that we must also heal ourselves, not only our patients. I wish you all the very best.

[@kamilebalciunaite3532]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. How about trying out some other area of work? Please take care of yourself and get some help. Talk to someone professional who can help you with your problems. Life is made up of so much more than doing something you're not interested in, try finding something you love doing. I really care about you and hope you will get through this. Good luck, I really hope for all the best for you. :)

[@reniseidman9613]

Walking away is a better choice than suicide. I wish you well.

[@edatatu2739]

Excellent talk. Doctors and other professionals whose careers expose them to trauma on a regular basis, would greatly benefit from professional supervision. This enables them to debrief about their their traumatic work experiences, that is often worsened by unresolved trauma in one's personal life.

[@leboganglekunye6721]

Maybe I needed to hear this. On the first of august this year I filed a resignation letter as an Internal Auditor Assistant, the career that I once loved the most. I couldn't take it anymore. I love your words where you say, "The world needs us on our best"

[@smileyt7581]

While reading the comments, I was literally considering going from being an analyst to an auditor. But then I saw your comment... 👀😅

[@leboganglekunye6721]

No don't, Auditing is a beautiful career, mine I think it was because of toxic work environment. Pray for healthy work environment.

[@Sherirose1]

In my 10 year experience in the NHS, 99.9 % doctors are so dedicated.Well done for recognising your strengthens and limitations and sharing your reflections.

[@MariaPhalime]

Thank you!

[@thora87]

And how many of those dedicaded doctors are actually really suffering in silence

[@Toodlesbug]

I go to doctors every so often -- high blood pressure, anxiety, a benign tumor, a recommended colonoscopy (a disaster -- the laxative almost gave me kidney failure; the doctor doesn't seem to care) -- I would say that about 10% of doctors are particularly dedicated. Many certainly do not have the moral character the speaker has. They are clearly interested in becoming well-off financially. I don't react at all well to your implication that this woman is a rare failure in the system. Seems very much the reverse to me.

[@flinger22]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am currently finishing up my first year of medical school and I'm in the middle of deciding to quit because of how I can't seem to find it in myself to be passionate about the field.

[@MariaPhalime]

Hi Mel. Thank you for your comment. This is not an easy decision; I wish you all the very best.

[@adrianlamb4637]

Wow! I'm currently off work with burnout and depression. It's the third time...A GP in U.K. I haven't seen the same horrors, but living up to the expectations of the profession and the public with resources so stretched and a constant internal strive for perfection in all I do - it is never sustainable. I feel all your emotions: guilt, shame, disappointment- I'm giving up security for something I don't know yet..but it had to be done - and my only regret is taking 26 years to face up to a decision I made at 17.....

[@MariaPhalime]

Hi Adrian. Thank you for reaching out. I'm sorry it's been so rough. I wish you all the very best - first with your healing and then with whatever path you choose next. Take care.

[@caterinasiatat]

I hear you. How have you been, what are you doing now?

[@ማኑኄሞዓ]

wouldnt you have changed your mind if you have worked overseases such country as Australia ? Becouse acute cases in here aren't as gruesome as SA

[@kwailcamp]

I am the same. I graduated in 2000 and new by 2003 that I felt totally unfulfilled and frustrated by practicing medicine and here I am still " soldiering on" in 2018. I think I am on autopilot now and have managed to convince myself that ok days will get me through. I don't even know what to say....

[@Ad-Lo]

አሹLikeableVideos ታጋሹ do you have evidence to support your assumption?

[@kkmbugua]

The World needs us at our best.

[@brayan9645]

Wow, this is a strong TED talk. Much respect.

[@MariaPhalime]

Thank you!

[@fifimsp]

As a teacher I see a lot of this happening as well. Not as dramatic as in medicine, but I see it happening for many of the same reasons. Your intentions and reality and the inability to deliver on your intentions bog you down.

[@MariaPhalime]

Indeed! It's a challenge that many people in the helping professions face.

[@ShoshanahShear]

Thank you so much for sharing this Dr Phalime. I worked at GSH in the early 1990s and I can definitely understand why you walked away.

[@MariaPhalime]

Shoshanah Shear Thank you! 🙏🏾

[@excatholic6392]

I am in the medical profession myself and have signs of burn out and depression. In fact am at. a crossroads in my life because I cannot live my remaining years in depression and unhappiness.

[@DrStemBeEncouraged]

ex catholic I pray you will find support for the burnout and depression. You deserve to care for yourself just as well as you have cared for others. Lifting you up

[@Never_Give_Up_88]

You will; just make that choice you are the most afraid of doing, your happiness is behind that fear 😊

[@janennabuchi6667]

Please stay safe....

[@rahmad4137]

our lives depend on calmness, and there's always a way for whatever we choose. keep going. I've a deep respect for those in medicine, and every one of us counts more than we will ever be able to perceive.

[@jennyhughes4474]

ex catholic: there are so many different ways you can help and care for people, it doesn't have to be (traditional) medicine - sports coaches, teaching assistants for disability/teachers, volunteer driving for those who can't, gardeners, mechanics, farmers etc. ALL help people, almost all jobs are catering to people's needs so you could get a sense of satisfaction from helping (which heals) in so very many ways: holistic health, you know. All the best to you and all those here who have found out the realities of working in healthcare now - it must change for the better = for all who work in it and all patients = all of us.

[@zimmiizinosisqo8282]

wow I like the part"some dreams must be allowed to die"

[@xabeke.]

F

[@DrMinaGhaly]

yeah we're taught that we have to never let any dream die, but sometimes we should let a dream die.

[@mariawoo8619]

Beautiful powerful words.

[@TGGTheGloryofGod]

Very deep

[@paulinegodding9680]

Wow!We salute all of you in the health care!!! Thankyou for all of you who put everything in your line of work.👌👌👌❣️❣️❣️

[@erykah9454]

She does sound like a reader.Great talk.

[@thabisavili6245]

Maria, you are such an inspiration, soo authentic, I admire you and am very proud of you! I wish I can meet you one day......

[@faithspecialjoy]

She is an inspirational speaker. It takes more than desires to make our dreams work, especially in disadvantaged countries. I applaud her for decision and sharing her story.

[@arlinegeorge6967]

Great great soul. Courageous amazing honest to accept your inner soul. Very very few would accept of not helping beings when with folded hands begging for help. You are indeed a brave soul. That man was not aware of the help given. Pray more n more souls like you not only in the medical field but people with power, multiply and make this universe a place for loving n serving humanity. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.

[@sheilagooding1384]

What a passionate talk.Thank you for your honesty and allowing others into a world where so many things have gone wrong but where good people persevere to be the best for humanity.Thank you

[@alexzandz]

As someone who is struggling through the Saale transition. This is so true. Thank you

[@keneilwemohlabane1288]

What an eloquent and courageous speaker you are. I wish you can choose to go into medical journalist or medical advocate if there are such careers. May God bless you with powerful opportunities that will be a powerful voice for our overworked and sometimes unappreciated doctors. Wow, l salute you, your journey will give unique fruits at the right time.

[@eliastalks7411]

Medical journalism and advocacy are definitely possible careers. You could retrain in law and do medical ethics / human rights w a focus on healthcare. You could go into teaching for example in public health. Medical sales rep/consultant. Or start a non profit. Or go into informatics or healthcare management/leadership. Or something completely unrelated like computer science or forestry. The good thing about medical training is that it offers a really strong foundation to do just about anything both within and outside medicine.

[@patriciapadgett3715]

Thank you💐 Your talk is helping me to make a very critical decision. Yes, the world need me well if I am going to be effected. Thanks for saving lives through your story. Continue to tell it; it saves lives. God Bless You🙏🙏🙏

[@Gismho]

Go well Dr. Phalime. What an exceptional discourse. You deserve to excell in whatever you decide to do. Loved your talk. (After listening to your wisdom, I'm glad I spent my life as a profession engineer!)

[@orca21fernando]

Its so difficult to part from the identity of being a doctor. The prefix you worked so hard to earn. Its just a shame that we are treated so badly in the profession and I just cant put up with it any longer.

[@Manish00333]

She is so well-spoken

[@kwandangubane9419]

pachirisuXbaby2005 that is such a white thing to say

[@Manish00333]

I'm a PoC tyvm

[@pauld4355]

such a reverse racist thing to say.

[@pauld4355]

check your privilidge

[@pauld4355]

you are the racist

[@juliettemacdonald5792]

I understand, as you so perfectly explained, why you had to walk away. Whenever any Dr or nurse starts to feel overwhelmed by the pain + suffering they see daily- for their own emotional health it’s time to walk away. It is sad that the profession has lost such a strong intelligent woman but you alone cannot change the world you see on your own. And the many more needed to see that there’s a problem either don’t see clearly, don’t care, or don’t feel they’ll be heard. Good luck in life.

[@lazarusmfula7194]

She is powerful!

[@Soo_Blessed]

Thank you for this talk and your bravery to walk away I did not walk away from my profession I believe others suffered because I was so burnout I was not in the medical field I know now the guilt that I feel that I did not leave I was not seeing it clearly either after many years almost 25 I was supporting children by myself and was afraid but thank you so much for your bravery and this TED Talk people need to hear this maybe if I would have heard this back then I may have had more faith to step away God bless you

[@carmelogiuseppe3805]

It's a powerful and courageous act to acknowledge when something is no longer working no matter how much was invested. The gift is walking away in love knowing that you served it your best. Now you must let go🤔🙄

[@Meglagoof]

“What right do you have to walk away” “how dare you” how about it’s not your life and I don’t owe you any explanation because I have the right to control my life in whatever capacity it requires.

[@stacyscott5270]

Powerful!!! Well stated♥️♥️♥️. Thank you for sharing your story. I myself walked away from my medical dream because "it no longer was working". I love how you expressed and shared the bigger picture. Life changing.

[@MariaPhalime]

Stacy Scott 🙏🏾🙏🏾

[@RisPerTinManNdaMal]

Multifaceted being, storyteller,Dr , Human, individual , observer and etc.

[@ednadarko1529]

wow, I am touched, I am in tear. well-spoken

[@norxgirl1]

Wow! Excellent talk. As an aside, love the SA accent....listen to several preachers from SA, simply because I have to pay a little better attention to understand the thicker accent. This lady speaks very clearly.

[@cayennesinivassinel6977]

So on point to having a peaceful journey... Live life for you and teach others self responsibility 💯... Too many depend on doctors and take them for granted when they need to create a better lifestyle....know ThySelf 🙌🏼 and be responsible for the life you live...

[@medicalmadeeasy4769]

A day when I was doing junior residency in ENT, I was on duty for 24 hrs. I started attending patients from 8 am. Then at evening around 6 pm I went to my hostel which was in the hospital campus to freshen up. While I was in the hostel, our nurses called me and informed me that a patient is there. Since the patient was not an emergency patient, I told them to wait for a while. When I came, they start shouting and that they ll put me in Facebook and all. They don't understand that I was the only doctor working for our department that day. And I would have attended earlier if it was emergency case. A doctor can in operation theater or attending other serious cases. Everything doesn't occur smoothly in a hospital. We have to attend patients according to there severity what is called TRIAGE. These incidents make up more fearful, less opened up to public, contribute less.

[@kambrose1549]

Brave! I'm sure you have splendid things to offer!

[@nonhlemkhize9772]

I'm really inspired by your talk Doc,it's been a helish ride and I've lost many if not all of my family members.I still want to become a medical oncologist even though by the time I achieve this I will have no one to celebrate with.

[@MariaPhalime]

I wish you everything of the best, Nonhle!

[@senpairu2182]

Wow y'all are strong! I hope you still enlightened

[@berniejaylea]

Well said Maria. I wish you the very best in your endeavours.

[@azanda02]

Powerful speaker and I love how she moves about the stage as she orate. So many South African physicians/clinicians move to other countries such as America due to lack of resources. Doctors are given a load too heavy to carry and are paid mediocre salaries to do way beyond what is humanly possible.

[@matlhatsisehole9262]

Very inspiring, this is critical for those who want to pursue any professions. Take a look at the day-to-day in that job and be sure it is what you can keep up with before investing too much time. This happens all the time and it is ok to leave and start over.

[@sheenr6193]

I am going through that same stage. I wanted to leave medicine for years now but I keep on rationalising why I should stay. I am not happy. Staying in medicine is sucking the life out of me. I have internal struggles as well as external pressures from family and colleagues. It's clear that I do not want medicine anymore but I do not know where else to go.

[@MariaPhalime]

Good luck with your decision. It's a tough one. X

[@sheenr6193]

Thank you. Your talk inspired me that despite the difficulties, it is still possible to get out and live a different life. God bless you.

[@urabanashi]

Leaving medical school after 4 years was definitely one of the hardest decisions I ever made, but I've never regretted it for a second. I also struggled with pressure from friends and family not to give up, and feeling like I was being selfish and ungrateful until it got to the point where I felt like I was doing patients a disservice by only being able to work halfheartedly. After a similar experience that made me scared of who I was becoming, I just knew I had to leave. I took about half a year on a leave of absence to think about what I wanted and decided on a Masters of Public Health so I could still make use of my medical knowledge, but focus more on systemic issues and addressing social determinants of health, which I'm more interested in. It's been about 2.5 yrs since I left and I'm so much happier with my life now. I'm finishing my MPH now and it's been rewarding finally having the time to act on my passion for social and climate justice through activism. What I didn't expect was the overwhelming support friends gave me when I left. People opened up to me about their own career switches and it's actually been really liberating to be open about it instead of hiding it. It's sometimes hard for some people to understand it, but whenever I've shared my story, people, including doctors, have always been supportive of my decision...well except my dad, but he's getting there slowly. The realization that gave me confidence was that you can't live your life wrong. You just have to take some time to get to know yourself better, try things out that interest you and make the most of the opportunities that present themselves. I also found my university's career workshops pretty helpful in thinking about what to look for in a career and what my priorities were. Anyways, sorry for the long post. I wish you all the best in your future whatever decision you make!

[@aquamarinedream8304]

+urabanashi How satisfied are you with the MPH? I'm in California and struggling between an MSW or MPH. I would like to be a therapist (can do with msw) but am open to other possibilities, I also care about social and climate change. I am interested in health, did some nursing prereqs but have no degrees in the subject. What opportunity has the mph offered you?

[@urabanashi]

It's still too early for me to tell since I'm just about to graduate now, but I've seen positions for research, policy and project managment/evaluation. I think it helps if you have a focus going in that you're interested in pursuing, but that might depend on the program you apply to as well. In my program I concentrated in global health and we learned a little bit about everything, so I don't feel like an expert of any particular area. At the same time I focused a lot on climate change with my practicum and Master's project, so I'm hoping to find something related to climate change and health. You'll have to decide how important doing one on one work is to you because I think that would be harder to find with public health work unless you do public health nursing. It might also help to look up public health jobs in your area and read the job responsibilities to see if those are the types of things you'd be interested in doing.

[@cotton-xb1xp]

Beautiful.♡ May you be blessed with abundance of love , happiness and peaceful mind.♡

[@debbiecrosbie9796]

I commend you on your honesty and your bravery to tell your story God be with you always 🙏 ❤

[@Vee-ls5pu]

Wow What an Inspiring Story! Thank you for being a living example of "Bravery"!!!!

[@SquilliamFancyson808]

The topic that Dr. Maria Phalime spoke on is a topic that desperately needs visibility in the medical community. The courage, self-awareness, and compassion (for both herself and her patients) she displayed when she detailed her experiences that lead her to stepping away from medicine is nothing short of admirable. I am a firm believer in the importance of everyone knowing their limits, and this is exactly what Dr. Phalime so eloquently expressed. The healthcare field has evolved in so many different ways as time has gone on, both for the physician and patient experience. However, I believe at this point in time, this evolution has heavily favored the patient experience side, while the physician’s quality of life has decreased. Although I believe that medicine should indeed favor the patient experience, due to the fact of medicine being a field devoted to service, I also believe this change should not be so one-sided and that our doctors are being swallowed into the darkness that is our healthcare system being left with no support and are expected to fend for themselves. As a result of this changing landscape, we cannot be surprised at the increased amount and rates of physician burnout. Regardless of the many different solutions that have been purposed to correct the burnout epidemic experienced in this country, I personally believe that in the very moment of time what Dr. Phalime did was the correct choice to make. We as a society have to stop putting such unrealistic expectations on our physicians cannot shame doctors when they decide to put themselves first. This can be executed by physicians in a variety of different ways, from taking more time off to recuperate to demanding policy changes on a national level. However, making the choice that medicine is no longer for you is just as equal of a choice. What Dr. Phalime did not only put herself first in that moment, but she indirectly was putting the health of her patients first as well. She knew in that moment that she wasn’t herself anymore, and that if she were to continue practicing medicine that the change in her attitude and outlook could potentially cause patient harm, and thus removing herself and the possibility for it to happen. I believe her quote “Believe me when I say this, it's not easy when you realize that some dreams must be allowed to die” summarizes this perfectly as well as demonstrating her using the ethical principle of non maleficence. I believe more physicians need to take these same steps to perform a self assessment and determine if they are currently still “mentally fit” to practice medicine as to avoid causing any harm in patients. Which is why I feel that the disillusionment she felt at this moment should be rewarded not demonized, as she was responsible enough to put her health first which consequently put her patient’s health first as well.

[@AshleyKnightCompany]

Beautifully iterated - well said & thank you for sharing your story. Yes! The world does need us at our best!

[@aloul441]

It isn't too late,!

[@maqangazamanyezile218]

Thank you so much good young lady. You have simply directed the Professionals to serve purpose in their Professional practices Or give themselves the opportunity to Re-assess their dreams And Purpose against the practical Current Situation. You've inspired more

[@TGGTheGloryofGod]

I'm happy I watched this video. So many of the professions that I let go of, and I thought something is wrong with my life. But I am happy in the profession that I chose now.

[@nolabartholomew8939]

What did you choose now?

[@bibichloe]

Bravo, Dr. Maria, hat off! And lots of success in your current & future activities! My partner has a similar story, she quit academic teaching in 2012 (at 49, after 12 hard years in the business) because she felt everything was to no avail under the given circumstances in the Romanian educational system. Just like you, she is about to invest her knowledge, experience and passion into connected domains, exactly where her skills are needed. It is hard, but rewarding. All the learning and the sleepless nights were NOT for nothing -- only they had to be invested into something else that made REAL sense... Some people are like that!

[@MariaPhalime]

Thank you so much! Wishing your wife everything of the best on her new journey.

[@UpNfamish2]

Most enlightening self understanding but it’s also painfully obvious that by not letting go, one is doing more harm to oneself.

[@rsmith1820]

Too bad people in the Healthcare profession here in the States won't listened to this. They remain in a place that eradicates any trace of their humanity because of exorbitant loans, familial expectations, and the misconception that walking away is synonymous with failure. I WAS that patient left alone while doctors, nurses, other staff ignored me. It would be years until my declining health FORCED me to go to a hospital - a building of overworked, bitter, disinterested people tried to care for thousands of people while trying to hold onto whatever soul they had left. BRAVA to her for knowing what it truly meant to Do No Harm to others AND herself

[@rahmad4137]

This is so incredibly painful to read as someone who's on their way to working as a doctor (same country as the speaker). I am honored to see your perspective. Hopefully more of us will be better than to lack care in that way.

[@fhenlizhao5406]

Those student loans and expenses often do ppl in.

[@sharonckipchumba]

You look fabulous Dr. Thanks for Sharing. Sometimes it's too hard to let go of what you LOVE and the more you hold on the more it harms you. I recently walked away in a job I really loved and tressured since it was affecting my health , now I looked back and Iam proud of myself, that was the best decision I ever made! Anyone in such a situation as mine, especially if its affecting your health, mentally and emotionally,? Think twice! Health is important, I highly encourage you to share, speak to someone about it, don't persevere All the best!