The Dumbest Things I Ever Heard Prisoners Say In Prison

[@SanDmaNTheFreakTrucker]

This man deserves an applause for keeping this channel running. It can’t be easy coming up with prison related content for years. So kudos.

[@arethouready]

Ikr. And he’s still out here grinding and producing good content even though youtube fucking him over and not pushing his content out to new people. Wish joe the best and that he keeps his hustle up on the legal side!

[@skram841]

Not to mention when he trys other awsome stuff people turn to Karen's and start talking shit

[@taylorjohnson9321]

Agreed some channels run out of things to talk about I think so they venture off doing other content

[@wesley939]

And it's still funny af, my cousin done been in and out of jail and prison twice lol.

[@travismorgan4268]

True been in an out a few times since this channel started still going strong

[@Twitch0331]

I once heard a guy telling his buddy that he had a basement in his mobile home. He was dead serious, too. At this point, another guy walked up and said, "Look here, man. The only way you're going to have a basement in a mobile home is if you park it over a ditch." I lost it. I couldn't stop laughing. Literally, I was worthless for about 30 minutes. I will never forget that, and it was almost 20 years ago.

[@StarrySky-ky2uz]

This 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@mikekeltner4291]

Hey I know someone who buried a shipping container then put a mobil home on top of it, he grew bud in it, said that infared cameras couldn't see the grow room because of the trailer, I've seen him get busted selling weed and they didn't find the grow room because they didn't even look for it.

[@clintdavis9511]

@@mikekeltner4291 I have actually thought about doing that.

[@mikekeltner4291]

@@clintdavis9511 it works, the cops regularly fly planes overhead using infared cameras to look for heat signatures of grow rooms, with a trailer sitting directly on top of the container it hides it, just make sure you have a pump to make sure water doesn't pool in the bottom

[@nervoussips2622]

You do realize you can have a basement in a mobile home right?

[@zealousjay1993]

I'm looking forward to that "many lies people will tell prisoners" now

[@tychodancer]

Here's the first three: "Yeah I'll call/visit/put money on your books."

[@fredl6337]

Joe when you said I should have came to jail sooner if I knew they could smoke cigarettes. That was dumb 🤣😅😅

[@AfterPrisonShow]

Your awesome for remembering that! I didn’t think about that until after I filmed this.

[@night_shift_]

Just wanted to point this out haha 😂😘

[@badangel9592]

Joe, it's you're awesome not your awesome, lmao 😆 🤣 😆

[@austinmccabe-zf9qj]

Yea,and its good and shelter 6you dont have to pay for

[@Number-oo8xq]

The old Joe is back. I like this Joe! Welcome back Mr. Godfather of the prison youtubers. Your spot is here please don't go MIA again! Cheers mate

[@tumors1686]

I had to go away for military service and damn. You got old. Im watching your youtube now after my 18months service. Man. God bless yall

[@missolesoul]

It happens to all of us if we are lucky enough to get older. He is also living and eating well.

[@dorothycatgirl1497]

Deployed 3 times myself Pain in butt

[@rogerrogers8834]

“If I new prison was this good I wouldof came here sooner”

[@stevegames9839]

Was just about to comment that but you beat me to it, gg

[@ArkStar20]

Even the new insted of knew is gold.

[@arminius3808]

Stupid thing to say. Learn to spell. Stay in school kids and don’t think like this. Prison is no joke. Even the low security prisons

[@arminius3808]

Believe it or not joe wasn’t the most gangster in that lvl 2. I believe it

[@ms.sanchez3924]

@@ArkStar20 how can you criticize this guy for not spelling the word KNEW correctly when you made a spelling faux pas yourself? Concentrate on your own spelling INSTEAD OF INSTED.

[@Spuggky45]

The stupidest thing I ever heard in prison was from my old cellie. He honestly thought that the movie "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" was a true story. I'm not even kidding. When I tried to explain to him that vampires aren't real, his comeback was "That's because Abraham Lincoln killed them all". I almost died laughing!

[@wedemboyzzz]

“Caucasian” - ‘ almost sounds italic, like slanted’ 😂😂😂😂😂

[@metalnickoson9318]

I love the prison stories joe. I love listening 2 u and Jay Williams while I'm at work

[@andrewthaman-ey4qb]

the guy in the background on the wall waiting for a pisser to open up...haha i did that the other day in wal mart and thought ''man i havent done this since prison''

[@redoutdoors69]

"I can snort more dope than a snow plow can push" I said that in an NA meeting once trying to be funny and nobody thought that was funny except for me

[@LeatherSoup-c5j]

If everyone introduces themselves in NA how is it Anonymous?

[@hanieldarrington8860]

I’ve spilt more dope than you’ve ever snorted dog

[@TheTechAdmin]

@@LeatherSoup-c5j It's anonymous to everyone who NOT there. AND you're not obligated to use your real name.

[@ms.sanchez3924]

@@TheTechAdmin true but I don't like the way they say (been to some of the meetings long ago) "what's said in the rooms stays there" and that's bs. I used to hear people talk about others in and outside these rooms, so nothing is sacred anymore.

[@davidperez5089]

Not something to brag about. Sad, very sad....

[@zackseverns4326]

I heard a guy confronting another guy about money he owed him and the guy that owed said that he didn't pay because it was the worst crack house he'd ever been in

[@ms.sanchez3924]

Like a crackhouse is supposed to be good? He just didn't want to pay up? I've heard some excuses before but this is a new one! 🤔

[@mass_stay_tapped_in528]

That moment when the crackhead all of a sudden got standards now lmaooo

[@queenambi7278]

Lmaooo

[@8MoneyIzmyMission8]

"Sir your crack establishment is not up to code. I will need a sample crack rock to inspect post haste"!

[@SH-ii6uo]

You should do a video on some of the most intelligent (or wily) prisoners you’ve ever encountered.

[@tundrawomansays5067]

“Intelligence” and “Cunning” are two very different....realities! ;-)

[@SH-ii6uo]

@@tundrawomansays5067 That’s true, but there is a level of crossover. Finding a cunning simpleton is quite a rarity.

[@bradstortch8166]

Canada loves the show

[@michael-reis]

Yup! Montreal Quebec here

[@GoddamnAnge]

Northwest BC here! Damn close to Alaska

[@BabyNommer]

Australia loves the show

[@Djdjyou9326]

Brazil here. I must be the only one, and I'm a former CO.

[@robsalazar138]

Grand Rapids, MI is rockin A.P.S. hard Bro!!!

[@georged7302]

I don’t have something dumb that was said, but I had a cellie who started every morning with naked yoga. A 72 year old black man, naked yoga, every morning, for 16 months

[@BludBubbles]

Man, this stuff is hilarious. You have comedic talent, Joe, straight up.

[@steveo3287]

This channel having a resurgence

[@KPrayfortheworld]

That totally hit the way it should have bro 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@mratay4747]

“I got another bid in me” 🤣

[@spencersonnier1]

I remember you told that story about the country dude once. I remember you said that he said “I come from a place where teeth are scarce, and animals, they’re scared”

[@jimmys2338]

Got to be West Virginia.

[@lindab19901]

🤣I remember that also

[@kpro7637]

"Hay back shower who's got next?" Joe you crack me up! 😆🤣😂

[@pw6447]

"All the smart people are inside."

[@brettdwigans2758]

I was laid off years ago which caused me to fall behind on child support. I was picked up on a warrant round up with no warning. The next day there were about 30 men rounded up. I was one of the last to see the judge and he had already heard every dumb excuse before me and was agitated. He asked me "how much of this debt are you willing to pay to keep your butt out of jail today?" I replied "you tell me, how much do I have to pay"

[@ryanlukz3261]

JOE : video idea. Top 5 or 10 worst charges or cases of fellow inmates you met or knew of in prison

[@Breamarie17]

Worked at a prison and man.. it was fun, and rough! Always treat the prisoners with respect because they are human, and they literally will ride for you half the time more than your own coworkers!

[@michellelucero6654]

Lol "maybe he got em with one of his duck wings" Im dead😂😂😂

[@big3ye378]

The impression of the guy in bible study was hilarious

[@Opethfeldt]

This channel has returned to form and I'm glad to see it.

[@michael-reis]

We need another cooking video! Been a while! Love the content…on both channels!

[@foresttaniguchi3168]

This is the content we are here for Joe. Please remake the “How to make a prison style tattoo gun” video that blew up. See if it will go viral again.

[@andrewdeen1]

oh god I laughed so hard at 'sheep are scared' -- you haven't lost a step joe you consistently make me laugh my ass off

[@kellyalves756]

The chalkboard in the back sealed it. 😆

[@CarsCatAliens]

"When the men were men, and the sheep were scared" Monty Python

[@yelnatsiiistanley7112]

This was my fav aps of 2021. This channels been fire for the past few months!

[@owenriley3688]

do-rag for life tied real tight. " CODY GET THE MIC"

[@StarrySky-ky2uz]

I heard a woman say " I won't be gone long, don't cheat on me" and she was back in less than a month.... Prison love connection lol

[@LizzPaintz]

I'm glad you were mad at ur girlfriend and went to trial. You acted with integrity and it paid off...and true...it doesn't for everyone and that is at the core of why we need serious change withing the system. Joe u made me laugh again. Ur right on point we ALL do dumb things. Being able to admit to them helps. Too many people nowadays seem incapable of that.

[@LizzPaintz]

@@shannondove9029 You ask that question as if convicts were among the most sought after people on the globe, when in actuality, they are probably the most hated people on the globe. Have u ever wondered how as a species, we have so many prejudices about skin color, but notice when it comes to inmates and convicts we have none. People hate them all equally.

[@LizzPaintz]

@@shannondove9029 yea ok

[@KayTooKush]

I was in the hole and the girl in the other cell woke me up at 3 am by screaming my name saying if I was on her papers she would kill me never even knew her

[@Tray-sq2zr]

Lmao wat state

[@KayTooKush]

@@Tray-sq2zr Tennessee

[@matthewengle9554]

Clucking like a duck or a chicken... Dude was Clucking his ass up to the guard 😂

[@Smokeyxz]

Hit him with one of his duck wings is crazy funny

[@brockevans6044]

Glad to see prison content again. I like when he helped prisoners after prison too. Granted alot screwed up but I miss people like rabbit and Shannon and what about the guy who was living in the van that went to jail like a year ago

[@opens11]

12:40 had me weak AF "Hit em with one of his duck wings.. BUNG!" 😂

[@ajaywolf5219]

Awesome content as always love the videos you make keep up the great work

[@AfterPrisonShow]

Thank you. This video has some pretty insane skits. Lol hope you enjoy.

[@ajaywolf5219]

I did enjoy the skits and thank you deffo put a smile on my face watching the skits

[@stuartram5262]

One of the dumbest things I've heard is the word "Library" pronounced "Lie-berry". Didn't hear it in prison though, heard it on a KZbin video.

[@Karmah01]

LOL! My brother always used to call it the lie-berry. Or when he abbreviated it..."the berry"! ie: "I got some movies from the berry". I miss my brother. RIP. 😥

[@lumze7644]

Scrubs throw back. Don't have kids Troy..

[@stuartram5262]

@@lumze7644 Uneducated Wanna Be Cringe.

[@jonathanhunter1350]

I knew a young guy in the early 2000's that claimed he flew in a stealth bomber, he was not ex-military. 99% of this dudes stories where all lies but you could not argue that with this dude.

[@johnathonwebster1142]

Ducks don't cluck. They quack! 😂😂

[@gamingwithpurg3anarchy157]

Video idea: Top 5 easiest to make weapons in prison. OR Top 5 most often made weapons.

[@justtwobrotherspokemon]

This is the og type of APS content I've always loved from Joe

[@Detroittruckdoctor55]

Why is YT recommending this show to me, my phone must know im breaking the law

[@thehardlyboys1115]

Lol!

[@kristenjustkristen9462]

"I can do this time standing on my head." Lol

[@mattelios607]

Just did 40 days of a 90 in middlesex county(MA). It sucked. Now I'm super paranoid wondering when I'm going back.

[@cnote2627]

Dude this was one of the funniest videos I have seen in a long time.. LOL you said that he hit the guard with this chicken wing LMAO! What came first the chicken or the inmate?

[@Blue-lo4cb]

Also when you’re locked up it’s easy to say you’re changed and you’re gonna do things differently when you get out. But like an addict in rehab it’s easier said than done when you’re in that structured environment. And hell he didn’t even make it an hour and was smoking some terrible shit. God bless him. I hope he’s doing better. Him and everyone else that’s in a bad way out here or in there.

[@willbean1573]

I’ve heard the stupidest shit while being on the street, an that’s another prison altogether. It sucks when you can’t see the bars

[@lookingforthebigguyricklas5503]

Keep going Joe im. A flooring contractor from Pittsburgh Pennsylvania its tuff being a contractor I've been doing it for 35 years im 58 years old just keep pushing. 🙏💯. Working out helps with the stress

[@JustAnotherMatt420]

Thank you for editing the GD. It means alot from us Christians.

[@NayNaysvids]

“I didn’t ask you Shit.” Fucking LOL

[@colingomez8949]

My boy Joe making a come back.

[@0dayCTF]

“When I hit the bricks, ima get some yams”

[@yelnatsiiistanley7112]

I don't know what that is supposed to mean, but it sounds like a line in a Kendrick Lamar song.

[@0dayCTF]

@@yelnatsiiistanley7112 hahah it means when you get out of prison, you’re going to get a girl/guy 😂

[@TheSuperAnarchy]

Bro, it’s really odd but I’ve been watching your channel for a few years Your longer videos used to be background noise to my alcohol-withdrawals, I’ve never done time but I appreciate your content and your entertainment over the years. Much love man.

[@TheSuperAnarchy]

I love the more comedic flair you’ve added in the more recent years, funny stuff. You’ve helped to keep me humble in hard times 😊

[@DJ-jx1yt]

7:02 "You called me a what tree?"

[@chadhapps4805]

I heard the greatest response to "hey man how you doing" I have ever heard in my life while in prison.... and I quote............. "Everything all blase blase and whoopty whoop, ya heard me, real talk son, REAL TALK!" To this very day I have an undying need to have that translated

[@MyllCoss]

Prolly meant everything all done carelessly (blasé) and crazy (whoopty woop) you hear what I’m saying that’s the truth son THATS THE TRUTH

[@reverendessinger4146]

There is someone nick named "Big Dumb" in every prison I was at! Also "can't get right"

[@jimmys2338]

Aye Joe your the Goat of the prison shows, I watch all of Jay's videos and of course I rock with ole Death, and Tim Sno but you for sure are the most comical!

[@shortcutDJ]

i get the newest video alerts for your new channel, but the APS ones aren't appearing in my recommended anymore.

[@Marcissus]

You just booked your ticket to hell LMAOOOOO

[@christishields2931]

You are hardcore. Love your humor. Thanks for the laughs!

[@jf5618]

Bro…love hearing the original sign off!! Missed that outro Joe! EDIT: if you brought that back recently, apologies for not catching you in a minute but as a loyal APS viewer, I do know that disappeared for some time. Love hearing it again man!

[@robsalazar138]

Ive been on a aps classic binge all day today. Its been fun

[@DonaldMeyers-v8c]

Ha! Same here

[@joshuamorgan19]

Id like to know when u were in prison or jail about if there were "pod bosses" were there people that kinda ran the block or pod? Is this in all jails or prisons?

[@Dennybartlett]

I always enjoy the show. The humor and the length of video are just how I like it. Good storytelling.

[@beetelgeuse9938]

At a job had a dude show up was just out of prison and his exact words "that shit was easy. Hell i'll go back just to kick it with my homey" a week later cops showed up at work to talk to him. He shit his pants. Funny as hell all they were doing was making sure he was working where he said he was. He thought he was goin back to jail and started crying

[@christopherwoods9830]

I noticed a lot of people in the county would boil water and keep letting it boil. I’m like dude the water is boiling it’s done, he said I’m trying to get it hotter. I looked around and said water doesn’t get hotter than boiling hot. They thought I was lying to them. I’m like F it cant teach an idiot

[@levigrafton6854]

Wow.. that’s amazing you did this video while sitting in lacrosse county jail. That’s so cool. 😂😂

[@geodude7116]

Classic Joe here. This is the content I subscribed to APS for.

[@stewie7994]

I made my court appointed lawyer go to trial and was acquitted. Scariest day of my life. A jury verdict.

[@DubDidit]

I love the back to basics tactics joe. I been tuning in on a regular basis again. I know it hard. But on the koo we just like kicking it with u joe. So keep up the same ol same ol and we will keep rocking wit cha. Don't worry about repeating stories. We like hearing them ya dig?

[@Austensales1]

That last one and the chicken guy had me rollin😂

[@larsulrich3356]

This was actually one of the funniest videos I have seen of you bro. Keep up the good work with the chalk board stuff.

[@hazyperspective]

Hey Joe, I've been watching a long time, so much of what you say is spot on. I did a small bit in CO, and your channel is often a humorous way to look back at that shit. Have you ever done a video on how the families do time with us on the streets?

[@972CHENZO]

Man I used to watch you all the time! From way back before what's his name, you bought him the scooter.. but for some reason your videos stopped coming across my feed but here they are again. Time to catch ALL THE WAY UP!

[@davidtaylor8672]

Hey wassup watching from Ohio really like the content I try to watch daily

[@redoutdoors69]

"all I do is smoke rocks and punch bitches" then gets up in NA and talks about how he's changed and in 180 Day program he's been there one day

[@hanieldarrington8860]

I was in for a gun charge and I’d always say “rather get caught with it then get caught without it” ..... lol dumb

[@michaeltittle7111]

Shhiiiiit maaannn I'm great full fo dis episode shiiiit.... Very funny bro lmfao

[@jameskason8320]

This looked like a classic video so I’m here watching again

[@systemofaslipstatic]

The moustache actually really Suits You Joe.

[@foxfit4904]

With that Moestache someone should check Joe's papers.

[@peeverlogging9950]

When you yelled your shit stank I busted out laughing

[@creepycat8256]

Heard a guy say he don't eat no pork, no swine. Few mins later he likes a good ham sandwich every now and then.

[@brandfranciscassella5356]

Joe, please make a video about the ways prisoners are able to hide contraband from the guards.

[@Radioactive.Panda559]

Damn you had me dying when you said “durag tied SUPA TIGHT”, I’ve heard you say it before but it’s funny cause I’ve been wearing a durag the last few days, I’m tryna get some waves lol!!!!

[@remcovanvliet3018]

If you want waves, go to the damn beach. If it's curls you want, your barber can probably help you out. The only moment you should tie a rag around your head, is when you're painting the damn ceiling. 🤦‍♂️

[@sammehlberg6664]

Lies prisoners tell: literally anything. They (we?) will lie about anything and everything even if it's something stupid or for no reason.

[@naturekid1335]

I had a guy accusing me of cheating at othello cause I would ALWAYS beat him. I don't know how cheating at othello is even possible. I didn't have the heart to tell him he was just really, really stupid.

[@ewfisher89]

I just had my credit card stolen the other day, guy used it for "GTL**INMATE PHONE SERVICES". I'm not even mad, just dumbfounded.

[@ferretwithagun9886]

Lol the Bible study guy... I had a guy working with me that was that ignorant. Every time his mouth opened you just felt bad for his mother.

[@FloridaMan0561]

I’m glad that Joe is still on the outside,doing good and not taking a single day for granted. I heard that once you have been to prison,it’s really easy for a person to get put back in. I was wondering if you could do an update on ole gay Dave and the rest of the guys that you have helped since starting your channel. You are doing so well and I hope that the other guys you have had on as guests have been doing good as well. I hope that they are still out in the free world not taking a single day for granted either.

[@clockhanded]

Oh yeah Imma do this shit different for real man. The old way ain't workin dawg... 1 hour later... Chicken style!! BAWK BAKAWK!! BAWWWK!

[@Dead-Dog-Rising]

Hey are ya done in that back shower! Lol joe stays hilarious. 🤣🏁

[@Djt4848]

I’ve been watching for a while. And I still can’t get over how you say were lmao.