ROCK BOTTOM (My Story with Drugs) | Patrick Marano

Camh is a mental health and addiction centre in Toronto
www.camh.ca
416 535-8501 or 1 800 463-2338 toll-free, staffed 24/7
The Recovery Village
www.therecoveryvillage.com/dr...
855.763.8664
American Addiction Centers
americanaddictioncenters.org/...
866.343.4521
I know I'm not alone in this. Too many members of the Queer community struggle with substance abuse. It's way too acceptable and used too often to numb the pain that many of us carry around.
But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can conquer your addictions because I did! I hope that in sharing my story we help soften the stigma around substance abusers and can be more empathic to their journey.
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[@montanalove8411]

As a heterosexual male, I wish I could spend time with Patrick and just cuddle & talk. He’s such a smart and wholesome person.

[@PatrickMarano]

Hey thank you, that's sweet of you to say

[@KevinFuller7]

I dated a meth head for 3 years and thought I was going insane with all the lies. I had no idea what he was doing nor about the double life he was living... until the county called me and said I needed gonorrhea treatment... then everything fell apart. I recently found out he died last year. Glad you lived, Patrick.

[@notreallydavid]

My God. What a time. I hope things are less alarming and draining for you now, and that the loss is hurting less than it did. Regards from the UK

[@joejames2167]

Wow, you must have quite the incredible inner strength. Thank you for sharing not just your past but your present. Keep shinning!

[@markhendersonamodelofsurvi5771]

Patrick Marano- Saving Lives

[@joemiller1312]

I am so proud of you for doing this vid and sharing your journey with us. It is so important for people to understand. My husband went thru almost the same scenario as you described. He had a few near rock bottoms. Even after I did an intervention with his psychologist, he continued. The part about doing projects, OMG he redid everything in our house! And the voices, he saw people in trees, every car was following him. He heard the neighbors talking. He even called the Police to report them!! I was terrified and we fought for nearly 3 years. But I love him and I stuck with him. Only did he almost get caught by the police and like you, his dealer cut him off was he forced to stop. Unfortunately, his rock bottom finally hit when he was diagnosed HIV+ and was in the actual AIDS range. Then the pandemic came. He stopped smoking and drinking and is taking his meds. He has a long way to go, and I can only hope he recovers as you have. We have professional help and I encourage everyone to get it if they can. Bless you. I know this was very exposing for you, but you are a good soul. It is clear to me. Many people told me to just leave, but that is not always the answer. I chose to stay.....we will see.

[@PatrickMarano]

wow Joe... your husband and I have more in common than you think

[@williamjones7163]

I never admitted this before, but it only took 2 heart attacks, 1 stroke, and a heart event to get off of meth. Still recovering. The sex was unbelievable. It doesn't help that you can get meth for cheap. After my last heart event and I was in the hospital, I had my buddy sanitize my apartment so I could have people come in and take care of my cats. I told him where my shit was, my pipes, baggies, torches and lighters to remove it all. GOOD LUCK ON QUITTING ALCOHOL. I still have a glass of Zero Sugar Cherry Dr Pepper with your name on it. One day at a time.

[@PatrickMarano]

wow, thank you so much for sharing that with us! You are a warrior too!

[@thefilipinojoe]

You’re very lucky to still have your mind. The worst thing drugs can do is cause brain damage. My brother was normal growing up, and we had a normal sibling relationship. After drug use, he eventually turned into an extremely immature adult, and in his 60s, acts and communicates like an immature young teenager, communicating in ways I simply couldn’t stand or understand. His communications were so senseless that I ended up blocking him on social media, which was how I was communicating with him. Sad, I know. One of my best friends was an alcoholic and the saddest part of her addiction was how it sidelined her otherwise success. I mean she was mega talented and had accomplished so much but her alcoholism eventually sidetracked her from that focus into a state of survival instead of thriving and having more life successes to enjoy. She was not a good steward of the talents, education, opportunities, and stellar reputation she’d been blessed with. Otherwise, she was a wonderful person and one of my dearest friends. You obviously have a bright future ahead of you. It’s yours for the taking.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you for sharing your story with us! xo

[@thefilipinojoe]

@@PatrickMarano you’re welcome

[@marklamp8354]

Hey Patrick. Day 12 here and still going strong. Like you in your 20’s, I was totally addicted. But not to meth, but coke. Growing up in South Florida was Miami Vice /cocaine central. Super cheap (as compared to up north) and very high in potency. Did it for years. My friends all gave me the nickname of “Mark Jones” because I was always jonesing for my next high. Learned to make freebase (thanks Richard Pryor) and then onto making crack. OD’d twice where I thought my heart was going to explode in my chest and had to be rushed to the ER. Destroyed six years of my life. I had a great job, but ultimately I lost everything: my apartment, my fancy sports car, my guitars and basses and other music equipment, and worst of all, my family and friends who wrote me off. Luckily, I had a few very close friends. They took me in off the streets, policed all my contacts, deleted all the bad ones from my phone and life, got me eating and exercising and eventually living a normal life. And here we both are in the drinking abstinence challenge. I always said to myself, “ If I can beat cocaine, alcohol will be a breeze!” But it hasn’t been up to now and as you and others said, it’s absolutely everywhere. And that’s ok. We just need to maintain the willpower and fortitude to politely decline and still enjoy our lives and have fun along the way!

[@PatrickMarano]

Hey Mark, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I'm so happy you had friends around to help you out during those days. Keep us posted on your alcohol challenge (like you I have confidence because I kicked meth)

[@Taopuppy]

I am happy for your recovery. Sending you a virtual hug.

[@rickgarms7656]

I understand completely Patrick. IMHO, the ability to share your (our) failings as humans (regarding addiction) is an absolute requirement to any sincere recovery. Thank You and Take Care.

[@jamescraggs7764]

I’ve been clean from meth for 20 years … when I reflect on that time of my life I cannot believe the stupid and risky behavior I was involved in. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@rethablair6902]

Thanks for opening ur heart to us all 🤗 U have a story to help others and thanks for sharing

[@hiyahandsome]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are so brave, resilient, strong and smart. I was not a meth head but I did tons of coke in the Roaring '80s and finally realized the same thing you did: I would end up dead or in prison. I quit cold turkey and in hindsight, it much easier to quit cocaine than it was booze, because booze is so pervasive in our culture. It took me five years to quit alcohol but I finally slammed The Iron Door and have been sober ever since. And like you, I have been in situations where I have been offered drugs and booze, and politely declined, because I know I have an addictive personality and I deal with it every day by staying strong and sober. Good luck to you, Patrick!

[@rickwallace4226]

Yes Patrick I agree with this gentleman,,,,,,, You can do it Pat,,,. RICK. 😄

[@rickwallace4226]

Loo k and sercth your soul as I feel like youl DOIT. Rick,

[@rickwallace4226]

Loo k and sercth your soul as I feel like youl DOIT. Rick,

[@terenceburke2945]

Patrick, stick to your guns. Our world cannot afford to lose you.

[@johneonas6628]

Thank you for sharing your story.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thanks for listening

[@anonyarena]

I am sure your story will help many people who are struggling. So, glad you overcame this horrendous crisis.

[@josephddudgeon9604]

Thank you for sharing this! I hope people who see this will be able to quit or get help. You are inspirational!!

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much! I hope so too

[@khalidhaniff2106]

Thanks for sharing your experience, strength, and hope. At 3 years sober here.

[@bigd3037]

This story is so inspirational thank you Patrick

[@nachoojeda5493]

Wow!!! It's so great that you can share such an experience!!! Most of all for those who may be right there where you were back then!!!! Thank you so much for being so brave and honest to share your experiences!!!

[@gdby44]

Thank you Patrick for sharing your story.

[@jgn6003]

This is why I love your vids. Your honesty about everything is absolutely amazing. I have never done any illegal drug, but I have known someone who tried meth. Fortunately, it was a one-time thing. But I love the matter-of-fact approach in this video. Thank you so much. 😘

[@kentnyc]

Bravo, Patrick.

[@jburchel]

Love you Patrick... ❤ You're a good person and courageous.

[@handyman9298]

were all so proud of you and were here for you you got this one day at a time

[@ernesto7145]

WOW Patrick I really appreciate you Thank you

[@ricsegers193]

You have a strength to do it on your own. WOW...thankful you kicked it.

[@arfriedman4577]

I hope your video saves many lives. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@andrewtaylor7593]

Lov you! ❤️❤️😘. Stay strong man

[@surfsideRox]

Thanks 🙏 for your honesty and testimony 💚

[@PatrickMarano]

Always!

[@josepinard30]

I am glad you survived these experiences.

[@ryancheckel8278]

Hey, thank you for making this video, and having the courage to post it. It isn’t easy, making life changes.

[@vannshuttleworth4738]

Thank you for sharing. I'm glad for you.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you!

[@dennisolarte1739]

I just want you to know that this video triggered my need and want to recover. You helped me big time. Your my angel

[@PatrickMarano]

You don't know how happy that makes me! Please keep me posted on your progress. You can absolutely do this! xo

[@jefflawrentz1624]

I’m thankful you lived to tell your story and are able to share it and help others.

[@PatrickMarano]

Me too!

[@jefflawrentz1624]

I’ve heard it said that “ determination occupies a vacuum”. And you certainly have that determination. 🤗

[@recurse]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's amazing what you went through and overcame, and I think your experience will help a lot of people. Also, I am living for your nails. 🙂

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much!

[@Jusell]

You are so brave 💐 I admire you even more now 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much!

[@craigmoreland4406]

God Bless you for telling your story! I have been watching your videos all day and just love them! This was inspiring from someone about to celebrate 3 years of sobriety!

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much! and congrats on the sobriety!

[@srituah]

U have a beautiful soul. Thank You for sharing. ❤️💚💛💙

[@GregNotPaul]

You’re 50 Shades of Fabulous Patrick, be proud of yourself. Thanks for sharing

[@PatrickMarano]

Wow, thank you!

[@Deojuvante379]

You are a brave guy! Great work! All blessings to you! 😇🙏

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you kindly

[@Deojuvante379]

@@PatrickMarano 💓😁👍

[@salvatore2004]

Thank you for sharing this. Loving the content recently. Cruising in the cinema video next?

[@PatrickMarano]

Possibly! hahaha

[@keitha.neubert3063]

Thanks for bringing this issue to the fore. There is good perspective in the presentation. From Maine USA.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thanks for watching! I appreciate the comment

[@donmills4261]

You sound like you are on a much better path today. I hope you are able to continue to maintain and move forward with a more positive lifestyle!

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you, I will

[@bettermost]

So sorry to hear this

[@Solambulist]

Congratulations Patrick! You are one of the few that fought off the threats of this world. You are a warrior! 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

[@PatrickMarano]

Wow, thank you

[@dickgunstone4167]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm 9 years clean and sober. I hope your video helps others

[@PatrickMarano]

Great to hear Dick, congratulations!

[@donald6787]

I am assuming you didn't slam. I too was addicted to meth for 2 1/2 years. I was spending between $500 and $1000 a week. If I couldn't find someone to slam me, then it was a booty bump. I lost over 35 lbs in one month. I would go 3 or 4 days without sleep. And then, like you, I realized this was going to kill me. I was one of the very few who was able to quite cold turkey. I've now been clean over 10 years.

[@PatrickMarano]

Congrats Donald that is amazing! (but yes, I did slam from time to time but not often)

[@bravein1]

Thanks a million for sharing such a vulnerable, valuable lesson with us Pat, It takes more than courage to accept the problem and come in terms with it. I truly appreciate you sharing this story, I do! I was doing grass back in my 20s and when I really got fucked with finances and relationships, I stopped by realizing that I don't need this to survive, as you have said. And boi!! about the drinking, it is so true !. Its literally a social thing and its on our face most of the time, celebrations, marriages, birthdays, breakups, parties, omfg as you said MOVIES!! I am still struggling with it, but have come so far as to say NO in most occasions to it for the sake of myself!! and cutting all "friends" and people out of my life as much as possible. Still lot of work to do.

[@PatrickMarano]

That's amazing work! congrats

[@kevinb9146]

You know, Patrick, you have been through a lot, and you have been very lucky it appears. You succeed because you always find a way. You put your mind to something (and kicking meth is not just something)-WOW, and you fight until you get it done! I admire the way you pick yourself up and you tell yourself…this is enough for me…this is it, and you make it work for you. Everyone has their ways of breaking bad habits, getting out of tricky situations, but you have found a way to do it and keep yourself healthy, kept your fabulous looks over the years, etc. Your stories have to be soooo helpful for all who listen. I really admire your determination! Keep going, Patrick. You’re on the right track!

[@PatrickMarano]

thank you so much for saying so Kevin

[@davidselby353]

I am so inspired by this. It is so wonderful that you turned yourself around and you realized that you can have an amazing life without this path.

[@PatrickMarano]

I'm so glad!

[@shannonphillips8759]

Hi Patrick, thank you so much for sharing this video. Although I didn’t suffer addiction, my brothers and sister had similar experiences that you described. It pained me to watch their journey, but they overcame their addictions and became stronger. This is while I’m 14/15, so I didn’t know how to help them. When they’d ask me for money, I didn’t think it was for drugs. When I wouldn’t give them money, I was threatened, and once assaulted. But, I don’t hold this against them. They had a problem, and all I wanted was for them to be okay. Again, thank you for starting a conversation regarding this important topic.

[@PatrickMarano]

That's a lot for a young girl to experience. I'm glad you seem to have your head right about it and made it through those days. Thanks for sharing Shannon

[@wernerbergh2593]

I must admit myself I also had drug addiction in my late 20's till my beginning of my thirties, What you described was exactly what I went through. But how I did I get off well my friends who did it with me just decided to stop after we almost got caught and secondly how another friend got really bad so much that he turned to other hard-core drugs which gave me a wake up call and I just stopped. When I het 34 i changed my life by going overseas where drugs is so against the law it was almost impossible to find with my new job and life style things just became clear how I see and do things, I am fourthy three and am in good health strong minded. The truth is all about choices but at the end is what choice you make. But the truth is when you hit rock-bottom is when you realize this is enough. YOU made that decision very good and look how your life turned out. You are the perfect person now and most importantly you are happy with your life life as it is now. Congratulations what you achieved and still going to achieve. We love you Patric you are a great example

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much for the kind words Werner and I'm happy you kicked it too!

[@wernerbergh2593]

@@PatrickMarano for sure girl my life now gives me more perspective and we have lot in common,

[@michaelturner5722]

Wow! Patrick. What a story….. So glad you are getting your life together. I agree, booze is everywhere. Do you remember “ Bewitched?” Darren had a martini in his hand all the time. It was really the first time I saw a bar…with ice bucket always full, on TV.

[@rlrober]

Patrick, this video was profound. I am so glad you were able to change your course. I have a friend in his 20's and another one in his 30's.....both addicted to meth. I don't know how to help them other than leaving them alone. This video gives me some hope that some day they might be ok. They also might die. Thank you for posting this. Great Video.

[@PatrickMarano]

They have to decide to stop for themselves... that's the hardest part of watching someone go through this

[@ovh992]

You can help them by telling them to their face "I know you are a meth addict and you need to stop". This is like throwing cold water in their face. Once they know the jig is up, they will start thinking about quitting.

[@rlrober]

@@ovh992 I know that sounds good.....and I wish it would work......but it just doesn't. Until THEY decide.....nothing will get better.

[@georgerivera8834]

I can relate very well to your story I party so hard throughout my twenties into 30s I had a great time during those years and then one day I just woke up and stopped

[@dmnddog7417]

Thank you for your candor. I never had a problem with drugs or drinking, but I've been around people who have. It's always been a bit of a mystery to me how it happens. Your "no-drinking" challenge videos appeared on my YT a few times, but I must admit I haven't watched them. I may have to go back and see what your purpose was for making them.

[@PatrickMarano]

I can tell you. I did the challenge to change my drinking habits. I was consuming way too much and was looking to change that. Which I did

[@zaferatik6632]

Thanks for sharing your story. I wonder how can you look so good after years of meth and alcohol. 👌🏼Inspirational.

[@ernesto7145]

Thanks!

[@PatrickMarano]

You bet! And thank you so much for the beautiful tip Ernesto! I appreciate it very much.

[@arfriedman4577]

Beautiful home too.

[@vincentbarnes7839]

It’s so true what you say I gave up drinking buy saying to my brain no more I do not need drink any more ,been clean five years now. Thanks for great video,your Englishfreind

[@stevenk.1333]

That took guts telling your story and let's hope people are listening. May you never go back to that dark lonely drug life which only leads to destruction and ruin lives.

[@FLsheepdog1]

The Navy Seals have a saying: THE ONLY EASY DAY WAS YESTERDAY

[@notreallydavid]

Congratulations on cutting loose, Patrick - and on not looking ex-meth-y at all. Keep being healthy and safe. I suspect you've helped people you know to kick meth since you turned your back on it. Well done if you have.

[@PatrickMarano]

'ex-meth-y'... I know what you mean. I hope I have helped others by telling my story

[@davidkuhl9838]

WOW, but now you are moving forward to make changes and become better. Keep it up.

[@PatrickMarano]

Yes! Thank you!

[@vickythefist7062]

It feels like the sky would come crashing down if you dont have gear .its a horrible feeling . Man you look so healthy now and so young for your age !!

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you

[@ovh992]

Dude! Great video! It should have been longer though. More details please! No relapses? No CMA meetings? You made quitting seem easy. Was it really that easy? Do a part 2! Congrats by the way on quitting!

[@PatrickMarano]

It wasn't easy by any means... lucky I'm one of those people who can turn the page and not really look back. I think it's harder for some people. Maybe it's also because I was doing drugs out of pure enjoyment and not necessarily to run away from my demons. Does that make sense?

[@ovh992]

@@PatrickMarano yes. But I think the trick to quitting drugs is will power. You apparently have very strong will power.

[@robertjr3460]

Omg 😱 how I can relate!! My twenties were the same. Thankfully there over and I / we Survived:))

[@jamescrawford4388]

Thanks for sharing. Most of my 30's I was a twirl boy at the time the saying was gym, tan laundry. For me it was gym, tan, XTC. What was interesting was how many people who believe X is perfectly safe, at 42 made a trip to Miami for a big party, rolled 7 days straight came home had a brain aneurysm managed to live through it, barely, partially partialized. Now no gym or dancing on speaker, at least i can tan. Just a cautionary tale.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you for sharing your story. I remember the GTL days of Jersey Shore too! No drugs is 'safe' when we abuse it... which we all do eventually. I'm glad you made it through to the other side of it

[@sams3015]

I never had a drug addiction but I had severe undiagnosed and untreated OCD that went from a quirk to an all consuming thing around 24-25 yo. Unlike the classic version, I had no “habits” everything was internalised inside my head (OCD-O). It’s frightening but I relate so much this. I actually felt like at the time I was on a drug. I’d Imagining people talking about me esp spending hours obsessing what someone “really meant”, having sensations and mild hallucinations related to illness (thank god monkey pox wasn’t really a thing then, I got obsessed with lice once and plucked all my hair out), not sleeping and really just behaving bizarrely. The “addictive” part for me was indulging the intrusive thoughts, encouraged more intrusive thoughts. I’d spend hours googling trying to disprove something, what ever I convinced my self was wrong with me or something bad that will happen, I’d have to use the internet or talk to someone in circles to disprove my fears. So while this wasn’t substance driven, the mania of it all you’re sharing is helping me realised how malfunctioned I was. I felt like other people “couldn’t see it” but I know now people could tell something was wrong. It’s just amazing how we have these periods of our lives that can shape us and we can learn so much from them. I knew it would end (or at least not be as bad) someday. I always feel like I’m recovering. Honestly before this happened to me I couldn’t symptomise with “crazy addicts” as we are conditioned to see people on drugs but I feel now I’m some shared experience that’s made me understand drugs and their effect on the brain better. Telling myself nothing was wrong and it will go away was my version of the drug taking.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you for sharing your story Sam!

[@BrandNerd23]

Thank you for the sharing! Do you mind sharing what did you do when you are using it? What is its effect? Thanks for sharing!

[@PatrickMarano]

It makes you feel good, alert and very sexual

[@imhoned4532]

You need to talk about sex addiction. It’s rampant in gay society. Cruising perpetuates it.

[@wernerbergh2593]

Yes it is all about the mental aspect that is how things change

[@londona9862]

Our story is so similar. I knew I didn’t want this to be my lifestyle. It was just a time in my life and I sure wasn’t trying to experience prison… To this day I have no criminal record (by God’s grace) and I wanna keep it that way.

[@gatewayz75]

What an ordeal! After seeing a couple of friends go through a similar experience with one no longer with us I was determined not to start drugs, I knew I’d absolutely love it because I already smoked and drank. I was always an outsider on the gay scene in the 90s not doing drugs. I’m so glad you made it through and well done with the drinking

[@PatrickMarano]

I'm glad you resisted Andrew

[@martinbeckmann9376]

Same here! I’m sixty four, back in the eighties, even at my worst drinking, I knew it wasn’t forever. And I believed it. Haven’t drank since 91. Some of us seem to be born with more mojo than we can handle or deserve.

[@vickythefist7062]

Ive been on hard drugs for 30 years . Just coming up to 2 weeks now without crack cus really had enough it just aint fun anymore and make me panicky and horrible everytime i have it

[@PatrickMarano]

Yup, it's fun, till it's not... and it never will be fun again. Congrats and stay strong. Your life is better without it, trust me! Email me anytime if you need support

[@kenken6550]

I'm glad you're safe. Meth was not for me. X was and we had a great time. Luckily, I never wanted meth and the few times I tried coke I knew it was something I would quit everything for, lol, so I stayed away. I still love X and miss having fun (responsibly) with it. Stay safe everyone

[@PatrickMarano]

Thx for the comment

[@glennjones6574]

Oh the shit I would hear in my head as well. it's funny now but ABSOLUTELY terrifying as it's happening.....

[@jeffreypeterson9280]

Wow I didn't see that coming I tried it once with some guys off a grinder and must have got eight guys off because when you are doing drugs you will do anything with guys you usually won't have sex with and because I have control issues I stopped doing it never put yourself in to a into a situation that you can't get yourself out of

[@Teesbrough]

Thankfully, I never got into drugs but this is a powerful story. Yes, I do drink but in moderation. If, like me, you switch to watching KZbin videos (mostly about model trains haha!) instead of movies and tv dramas, you’ll find you can avoid watching anyone drinking for your entire 90 days of abstinence. Good luck!

[@PatrickMarano]

haha that's a good suggestion actually

[@Teesbrough]

@@PatrickMarano Thank you. Be careful though. If you thought drink and drugs were addictive and expensive hobbies, don’t get sucked into building a model railroad!!

[@kenken6550]

That's rough. Where can I get mdma?

[@PatrickMarano]

lol

[@rockymarino6921]

Bro you are dead ass! On point with just about everything I feel like I'm listening to myself while I'm watching your videos LMFAO 😂💯 but FYI like for the record I know millions of people who get into projects when they're tweaked out I am just a lazy ass me and my ex and we do the "phone zone" where you get high AF and literally stay for hours zoning out on your phone like a zombie going through millions of profiles on Grindr/scruff are like my ex this goes on plenty of fish and this looks at obese females profiles LOL and any event I'm loving your videos

[@PatrickMarano]

thx for sharing with us!

[@zook838]

The odds that I met you at Oz or TigerHeat or some gentlemen’s empty mansion in WeHo or weekly motel in NoHo are exTremely high! Haha But, for real bromo, I’m glad you survived and thrived. You exactly described the alpha and omega of 2000’s/2010’s gay culture for so many of us.

[@PatrickMarano]

exTremely high indeed! I would've been at all those place for sure. Happy to be on the other side of it now. Glad you're alive!

[@zook838]

@@PatrickMarano 🫡♥️

[@zakatista5246]

Sounds hot.

[@adamr8543]

My last day of meth came after using for maybe three years straight. That day I heard hundreds of voices screaming at me to kill myself all the while I thought I was being followed.. Which I was. A good samaritan called in my behavior and said I needed help. A police ambulance eventually found me crying in an alley and took me in. I was crying/screaming for hours on end. I had drugs in my pocket that I consciously chose to leave in my pocket as I heard the sirens approaching. If I faced consequences I felt at that moment it was the only way I could stop. They found the drugs and I wasn't charged with possession. Thinking about it terrifies me still. I never want to be that person again.

[@PatrickMarano]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. How friggin scary to hear let alone live it. I understand completely and I'm glad you survived! xo

[@danielimpastato3466]

Patrick. Wow. You saved your own life. I tried meth once. Never again. It’s interesting that “you knew” you had kicked it when you “stopped counting”. Aren’t we counting with you now? 🤔 Stay strong, young man. You know I like to joke with you but I can’t this time. I am so grateful for your successful recovery. It’s so brave of you to put this out there so I will put one out there for you. I feel like I’m a together guy…but…never have I ever…had sex sober. 😔. Love 💕 you. That was an amazing baring of your soul. I know this video will help someone who is struggling. Thank you from them because they are probably still a hot mess today.

[@PatrickMarano]

You're right.. we are counting the days right now LOL.... but maybe we'll loose count?

[@danielimpastato3466]

@@PatrickMarano another weekend is here. You can do it, buddy ❣️👍 The Gay Universe needs to hear more of your uncommonly clear sense. 👏😁

[@vickythefist7062]

I once filled a paddling pool in the house off my head cus it wss too cold for it outside (makes no sense now that im straight). And when it came to empty it god fed up of emptying ot with a plastic jug so just tipped the whole thing out onto the carpet . Took days to dry out and absolutely stunk the house out . Hsppy days 😂

[@PatrickMarano]

yup, sounds like something I woulda done too! We can laugh at it now

[@kevini4295]

Well Patrick maybe 10/15 years ago I really thought I was "pure" and better than everyone else. Oh how I was mistaken. Never got into the circuit parties, it was never my "tribe" but about a decade ago I had a pretty bad problem with Xanax. Had good doctor help me off it it. Almost ended up in in-patient rehab! Now let's talk about gambling. I went to University at Buffalo, had a bad breakup, started going to the casino in Niagara Falls, Ontario. That spiraled into 15 years of gambling. Bankruptcy, etc. 12 year GA member. So I guess we all have our demons

[@PatrickMarano]

wow thanks for sharing

[@gigi2292]

The trigger thing is too much ❤

[@armandodesousa6375]

CONGRULATIONS! Thank you for those you will also help. You at least have rretained your good looks.

[@verleguntrumjr.2787]

I stopped drinking and smoking after law school. Booze Made me a nasty person. Don’t miss it.

[@verleguntrumjr.2787]

I lost most of my family to addiction, either by the inevitable disaster headed your way or OD. The saying was almost exactly as my dad would tell us and his sons with addition, he said Cemetery or penitentiary. Never tried beyond cocaine. Never wanted to. You’re the exception my friend. I’ve heard that shits terrible and so destructive on the body that shows up sometimes a decade or 2 later.

[@twerkinthecityhuh6340]

Those were hallucinations

[@asherroth2086]

Ya, a bong makes everything better, a nice healthy choice 😅😂🤣. I hate to tell you Patrick but you’re not so special…your story unfortunately is an all too common one. What DOES make you stand out is your determination and your success to date. I can’t think of many things that are as difficult as breaking the numerous addictions that you had, which is why the success rate is so low. By sharing your journey you help so many people who also have addictions but just don’t know how to change. I hope that you take great pride in your accomplishment to date but keep in mind that it is a life-long process. I quit smoking (not quite the same high as meth) 40 years ago but still would never attempt to put a cigarette between my lips (I KNOW what you’re thinking…don’t go there…it’s been too long for me😅😂🤣). You are bright, strong, young and in the prime of your life. Just know that the best times are ahead of you and NOT behind you. I might be an old fart but I know of what I speak!

[@PatrickMarano]

Thanks for the kind words Asher

[@Version9ex]

Did you go to rehab?

[@PatrickMarano]

I didn't. I did it all myself. That's not a brag, it's just what happened. I had to use my logic mind to remind myself constantly "you are better off without it, even though you are suffering right now, it's temporary"

[@miguelpaul1164]

You are so lucky it didn't wreck your looks and age you by 10 years .congrats on kicking that ish it's so gross!! Alcohol is my demon and I cannot touch it. Tried the.uppers but not my thing especially street stuff. I like my sleep!!!

[@Chubbylito11]

Was on meth for 6 months. My trip before was when im low, i take weed. when im super low, i take meth. when im too high, i take weed. repeat. hahaha. im worried my brain cells got fried during those times. good times

[@twink127]

Sounds like me. Im 29

[@PatrickMarano]

did you quit meth?

[@twerkinthecityhuh6340]

I have never smoked or taken or injected anything I didn't want to taint my body w any of that!!!!! Nancy Reagan (ur too young) told u ..... "just say no"!!!!!

[@ghayath2011]

Good video 👍👍👋🏻👋🏻👏🏻👏🏻