The Easy Way to Dramatically Reduce Toddler Tantrums

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks so much for watching! Do you already use any of these strategies with your toddler to help with transitions? Don't forget to get your free Communication Milestones Chart here: brightestbeginning.com/communicationmilestoneschart/

[@Dana-mb1hd]

I have heard the timer is a great strategy so i’m going to buy one and try it out! thank you!💕

[@carnifaxx]

What was not mentioned and what I found helpful was telling them how things go one after each other - like after you build this tower, we will have a meal and after that we're going outside - three steps are enough to remember and give them some kind of a structure, I also repeated it quite often in suitable situations, so that they had this in their mind. It also helped when one of the tasks was not their favourite (like one of them hated washing hair) that there is another thing to follow, that this unpleasant experience wouldn't last forever :D I need to say that every advice and respect in general works also great with teenagers, they are way more cooperative if you respect they cannot just abandon e.g. the mission in their game and follow your will, but that they can finish it and then go and do something you want them to do.

[@nicksworld8940]

New dad here.. this is so much harder then I thought it would be 😓

[@laridion7901]

Hoping a month later you're having an easier time transitioning your little one!

[@dearbrave4183]

This is why people who want to be parents should be ready. There's too much information out there on peaceful parenting to be caught by surprise. I don't have children but intend to and on my free time I watch these kind of videos to avoid experimentation and know how to deal with complications when they arise. But it's never too late to learn. So, all the best!

[@lifeisgreatx6722]

@@dearbrave4183 with all due respect, you don’t have children. Just because parents are struggling doesn’t mean they wasn’t ready or prepared. Being a parent is the hardest thing in the world, I can assure you no matter how much research you do, there will be days we’re you feel out of control and like you don’t know what your doing. I wish you the best

[@HarrietD-ph7bw]

@@dearbrave4183 Wow you seem to know everything even before you’ve ever experienced it! I hope you don’t have kids, you sound too unintelligent to benefit humanity with your genes.

[@dearbrave4183]

@@lifeisgreatx6722 Parents aren't prepared. That is a fact. They rely on experimentation and ask questions as they go.The common saying is no baby is born with a manual and this is usually supported by we did the best we could to respond to their adult children childhood trauma, whenever confronted. Meanwhile, in real life they study and read books, join seminars before practicing what they've learnt on the job market. They never say a job doesn't come with a manual or we did the best we could and experiment on the job. Parenting just like marriage or romantic relationships that matter the most are met with very little preparation and with a lot of experimentation. Which is why a lot of adults have childhood traumas and a lot of Marriages and romantic relationships keep failing. Just like on a job, in parenting , there might be a new situation that requires experimentation to find the right way. But those incidents are few. Because when one is prepared, most problems and their solutions have already been covered through learning phases or various briefings. So the unusual cases that require an unusual intervention are few.

[@ItsMeDanyell]

I literally just started looking up how to reduce tantrums with 1 year old yesterday. Perfect timing.

[@EmmaHubbard]

Hopefully this helps!

[@sharone8207]

I love this! My mum treated us like this all our lives (not like a toddler-with respect and consideration). If every parent knew this, the difference it would make for the world! Thank you for teaching it!

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@buu.888]

Love these tips! It's all about showing your toddler respect.

[@SarahbearJayne]

Simple to apply, straight forward and QUICK videos. Doing God’s work!

[@EmmaHubbard]

Thank you!

[@gillablecam]

I love all of this, apart from the "it's the timer ending the activity, not the parent" spin - I'm working in child and adolescent psychiatry, and there are a lot of benefits to the parents being in charge and being perceived by the kid as in charge

[@TaviaPinnock070513]

I agree

[@CozyKG]

Those aren't mutually exclusive.

[@Lizzifer7]

You're in charge most of the day, the timer is a way of ending an activity.

[@missbelle13222]

@@Lizzifer7I agree although with the timer seemingly controlling every activity it could seem as if an inanimate thing is making a lot of the decisions

[@kmanccr]

Timer is fine imo, because the parent told the child the activity ends when the timer ends. so the parents are still in control.

[@anitsirk95]

Even if my two year old is still small, she understand a lot. Sometimes I forget and I’m too quick to end something, like bath time or playing. That will NEVER go well. 😂 I try to remember saying «Ok, you can splash the water TWO more times then we have to get out of the bath. ONE more time now! Ok we’re done!» and it really helps. She still doesn’t enjoy being done, but at least she doesn’t get a meltdown. 😊 It really helps. And also giving two choises is a win!! 🎉 «We’re gonna go home now. Do you want mom to put on your shoes or do YOU want to put on your shoes?». She loooves to make decisions herself and I manage to get her home without a tantrum. 😅

[@Evangelina-st8xz]

I’m a first time mum and struggling in this area. Thank you for these tips

[@EmmaHubbard]

You are so welcome!

[@krystleyoung5328]

Your videos are helping me figure out some of the reasons I struggled when growing up. Thank you, i won't be making the same mistakes my parents did.

[@okamichamploo]

This is why I seriously wish Yourube had a search by length feature. So many kids shows are over an hour long and I have press 9 when they aren’t looking to skip closer to the end

[@EmmaHubbard]

😂 So true!

[@ryanwong-hd6kq]

There is a filter option to only show ones with less than 4 mins. So helpful when toddler ask to choose their show

[@Dana-mb1hd]

oh Emma thank you for this! We are deep in tantrums right now and this was so helpful in better understanding my toddler thank you 💕

[@EmmaHubbard]

You're so welcome!

[@OmegaWolf747]

Sounds like a little empathy goes a long way.

[@EmmaHubbard]

It really does!

[@coveredingrace8481]

This is great! God bless you 🙏🏽 ❤️

[@vishnupriyachandra]

On time as always. 😊 I have a soon-to-be toddler and your videos have helped me a lot during his developmental milestones. Looking forward to more toddler videos. Thank you Emma.

[@EmmaHubbard]

I'm so glad!

[@jurisdaughter2009]

Thank you for the Video Emma, great advice as always. I would like to add one possibility, which is playing or singing a well known song. At the end of the song, it is time to move on to the next activity then.

[@EmmaHubbard]

Great tip!

[@LoulousCorner]

I love your videos, they have been a great resource for helping adding to the parental toolbox. But Emma... could you please give your monstera a mosspole, it looks like you've just pruned it to stop it spilling over. A mosspole will give the plant something grab to and grow vertical (they grow on trees in the wild), then you'll have a much nicer structure for a floor plant, and it'll really look great in your home!

[@EmmaHubbard]

Great suggestion!

[@LoulousCorner]

@@EmmaHubbard It is, unless you like the spilling over look, which doesn't seem to be the case for you judging by the look of yours. I've noticed it in the background over time in your older videos. It's a beautiful interior landscape plant, let it shine!

[@victorialasvergnas5110]

Also, I don't think it is safe to leave for lunch while some of the dinosaurs have not been fed and are still starving ! This could result in a disaster. For more info watch the documentary Jurassic world.

[@EmmaHubbard]

😂

[@lauren501]

Lol 🤣

[@sanymatos]

Hello Emma, that's such a helpful content, my daughter hasn't been born yet but I'm already studying to be the best parent I can be. Can you tell me the difference between your course and your youtube videos? What's the advantage between getting the information in here or at the course? Thanks again for all the information 🥰

[@aartiabhyankar4047]

Hi Emma, Love your videos.My 13 month old has started throwing a lot of tantrums , stomping his legs .crying etc and throwing everything he gets his hands on and pawing your face when upset, could you pls advise .We tell him no throwing food/toys or now pawing face etc but its tough to make him understand as he is so young.

[@denisemangan1413]

Tantrums are not always about time. My 5 yr old great niece had a tantrum because I gave her a gift she chose only to later tantrum that I didn’t buy her another gift- which was expensive- I did explained this to her at the time of purchase. She is very intelligent & has excellent memory. She seems to tantrum over very small things which I find puzzling - even her family are flummoxed as to why she so rattled so easy. For instance, if I ask her what she wants on her toast she says strawberry jam- but If I present it to her she’ll have a meltdown & say I want apricot jam & then if I do the apricot jam it just escalates- no amount of reason or care will calm her crying& yelling & hitting. I have worked in Paediatrics & I am a mother. My children didn’t tantrum so I’m at a loss with this child. If I’m one on one with her she has no tantrums but if her siblings & mother are there it happens. Sometimes I think it’s her default behaviour for attention & that she hasn’t learnt to regulate herself effectively yet. She goes to day care.

[@carnifaxx]

I have a child that had similar issues and he was not speaking for a very long time. We had a psychological "evaluation" before he went to school to be sure he could handle it (he was speaking at time, but not esp. well and also was quite small), where they found out he has a very thin, almost non-existent line between reality and imagination. Like that he had built up imaginary constructions about situations in his head and then he went to conclusion that reality deceived him if it happened differently. Huge part of his tantrums disappeared once he was able to communicate, some of them were still there, but this "revelation" helped me so much, I think many of them could have been prevented if I knew it's all about his vivid imagination colliding with reality. It has to be really frustrating. Maybe if you see it this way also for your niece, it may help to find a way how to better communicate to ... lower her expectations. It also helped that he was able to understand that some of the things in his head are just a dream, that they are not real and cannot be real. I think he also didn't know that at first and it was a relief, because not all his "visions" were nice ones (he's now 13 and he sometimes has panic attacks I suppose mostly because of this - he had one when he was watching a scientific video about space and his head just went on far beyond the narrative.)

[@elaineosullivan5614]

Our worst meltdowns are in morning changing nappy & getting dressed. We have to do it straight after getting up so we can get to crèche & work on time. Any suggestions? Help!

[@Lila-BeamMeUpAlready]

Getting baby before they’re fully awake whilst singing softly they’re favourite song? I’m going to try that with my grandson :))

[@janeneprice6815]

This is great Emma thank you!

[@EmmaHubbard]

You're so welcome!

[@vanithavenkatanarayanan6166]

Thanks Emma! I love your videos. Any recommendations on best way to give medication to sick babies who are already cranky as they are unwell . Is there a pleasant way to feed medicines ?

[@amcmos]

What a great video!

[@EmmaHubbard]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@Diana-mu9vd]

What to say and do to help transition to diaper change- 14 month fights the entire process, and also what to say and do for clothing change? Thanks

[@teresaobert277]

My 18 month old grand daughter has a hard time processing new experiences. She seems to get hyper- turning in circles, talking very loud, bouncing, and non stop movement. Today she saw a little boy fall at the park and hit his head. She ran straight to him and mommy told her “he hit his head. He has an owie “ grand grabbed her head and repeated “owie” over and over. Then she ran to the spot where the little boy hit his head and she bent down and rubbed her head in the wood chops and re-enacted the little boys accident. It’s almost as if she has to experience things she sees so she can process things, although she never intentionally hurts herself. Is that typical?? Empathy? My daughter and I are not sure how to support her.

[@missbelle13222]

That is so sweet 🥹

[@Aimzify]

She’s role playing. Normal behavior . She prob benefits from hands on learning

[@hafsahameedali2062]

Thank you!

[@EmmaHubbard]

You're welcome!

[@89taklung]

My kid doesn't care about "break points" -.- she does a break with already a new game in mind. I say hey now you "drank the tea" and she goes " but i also need to bake a cake" me: no I told you we have to go when you are done drinking tea" her "but I need caaaaake" Yeah.... so maybe a timer it is. Never thought of that

[@89taklung]

Ps. She HATES countdowns and WILL throw a tantrum if I start counting because she knows tgat means she is supposed to stop what she is doing....

[@TertiaAnthony]

Thanks for the insightful video. My 12 month old gets easily frustrated and is easily angered. This leads her to throw herself head first on the floor. How can I help her through this 😢

[@catmancooper907]

Thank you so much for this! I will absolutely start this process. Do you have any advice for not letting your toddler charge around in the house. Also any advice on them not going where they are not supposed to (I.e. like a slide that is too big and dangerous for a toddler)

[@hollyyoung9892]

Current situation with a 2yo Charging round the house - she needs to burn off some energy so outside we go (rain or shine). She’s not being ‘naughty’ she just needs to move! Dangerous situations - she’s very much into ‘owie’ so we use owie (small hurt), boo-boo (if there’s blood) and big big owie (like the stove, fireplace, big danger). She understands that (in your example) if you go down the slide you’ll get hurt - a big big owie - for us this works because she’s felt big big owie pain and doesn’t like that!

[@buzzi2k]

Hi Emma, really helpful thank you. Our daughter seems to have started having big toddler feelings at 9 months...! Any advice for how to manage at this young age?

[@EmmaHubbard]

At this age I would start telling your little one what to do not what not to do and model this behaviour. I would also try and model the words and actions/gestures she is wanting to communicate as big emotions at this age are very common as they don't have the words to express what they want. I hope that helps!

[@buzzi2k]

@@EmmaHubbard thank you so much!

[@ramandeepkaur2122]

My 3 year old toddler will always say NO to everything in fact that’s the first word he says when he wakes up in morning. He will get cranky often without reason. Not sure how can I stop him from saying NO every time.

[@swedee5870]

Not sure if this will help, but sometimes if I say something like, “you’re so good at using that word, you said no.” And then I just offer the same thing, so far my toddler goes for it half the time. I got a feeling he was practicing his right to say no, but maybe wanted the thing he was saying no to sometimes. Edit: I see your message is from a year ago, so you probably have better strategies than mine by now! :)

[@malkies6341]

My child tantrums from the moment he wakes up until I leave his room at night. I do natural breaks, follow Montessori and am consistent. It’s been 4years of every.single.day. Every moment and I am at my wits end. I can’t do this anymore. I have literally tried everything.

[@dianemarina1405]

Thank you for these strategies. One question I have is when the child is doing something they are not supposed to e.g. colouring a wall. And you say don’t do that for e.g. and/or take away the crayon. Then they pull a tantrum. What do you suggest in that situation ?

[@EmmaHubbard]

In that situation you would acknowledge their emotions but state what crayons are for and the boundaries. So for example, "I can see you are upset, But we do not draw on the wall. We draw on paper". And if you have decided to remove the crayon you would say "The crayons are going away now". It is ok for your little one to become upset or have big feelings about no longer being able to use the crayon. Unfortunately, you just have to stay in the moment while your little one has these feelings and acknowledge them but stay firm with your boundaries.

[@godalemni6785]

My baby since being 11 months pretends to make herself a formula bottle. I have a formula can with plastic spoon and her baby bottle in her toy area. If i give her a sponge or a cloth she also pretends to clean so cute. Shes obsessed with books though

[@preetkkaler748]

My son is 3 years old, he doesn’t like to hear “NO” I tried telling him nicely also with some warning sometimes bribing too But there isn’t any way I can stop him from whatever he wants to do e.g. if he wants to spill water he wouldn’t stop even after telling him more than 100 times All he would do is cry and ask for water Please advise me what I should be doing because I’m littering giving up and frustrated Thanks

[@itsjustme1139]

Love your videos Emma! Any suggestions for tantrums when my 15 month old has been put on the floor after being asked multiple times to stop standing on the couch? 😅 I use phrases like "sit down please" and "on your bum". She knows what these mean but standing on the couch must be a lot more fun. Same with playing with the heater 💁‍♀️

[@EmmaHubbard]

Is your little one standing on the couch to jump or crash into the cushions? If she is then I would recommend giving her an alternative option to achieve these sensations without needing to jump on the couch. For example if she is seeking the crashing sensation of falling into the cushions make a cushion tower on the floor and get her to crash into it instead. Or getting a toddler trampoline might also be helpful. I would also continue doing what you are doing and tell her what to do instead of what not to do. So when she stands on the couch simply say "sitting on your bottom" and then help her to sit down or stay beside her until she sits down. If she continues to stand then I would take her off the couch and say "We sit on the couch, not stand". It's important to continue following through with the instruction the first time you give it to her and she will soon know that the couch is only for sitting.

[@itsjustme1139]

@@EmmaHubbard @Emma Hubbard thank you for taking the time to reply 😄 Nope, nothing like that. Just standing. Perhaps she likes being tall? Haha There are definitely times where I've repeating myself too much before following through. Thanks for your advice! I, and many others appreciate you

[@missbelle13222]

@@itsjustme1139my son does the same but climbs up the back bit of the couch to slap the wall. He can get right up there in 2 seconds but not back down again safely 🫣

[@QueenLogic87]

It feels like my almost 3 month old is throwing tatrums.. I cant stand all the crying😭😭😭😭 when will it end? He just wants yo be carried around all the time!

[@EmmaHubbard]

Unfortunately, your little one will need you to help regulate their emotions for a few more years to come. The important thing is to be consistent and help label their emotions and provide them with the skills they need to eventually regulate their emotions when they are old enough. I know it is hard but it does get easier with time.

[@essieka1502]

Also try to make sure it’s not something else like colic, must babies cry for basic needs like for food, nap or diapering. But for my little niece experience it was colics that was making her fussy … Hopes this helped a little

[@Lizzifer7]

3 months is tiny! They'll still need you for a long time ❤

[@aurora6920]

my baby was like this, he still screams to get his way, but the more he is learning to talk the easier it is because instead of screaming at me he can communicate e.g. Out, Open, On are his favourite. He still wants to be carried a lot, but a toddler learning tower helps and i just had to stop giving in as he is able to crawl on his own. But yeah it seems like it never ends 😅