The Enneagram: Help For Type 3

[@lifet.6604]

Sitting here thinking what comment would make you appreciate me... what a 3 I am. Thanks for the insight into myself. Spot on.

[@Notstoowarbjustme]

🤦‍♀️ I do this too. I heard him say babies are loved for their innocence and purity and I’m thinking “I must become pure and innocent” smh

[@tylermcintosh5198]

I FELT THAT

[@tylermcintosh5198]

Fucking chills

[@dorotheaanna2290]

“Help for threes” did you mean: “i thought this was supposed to be a motivational video but now I am damn near sobbing at the fucking gym”? BECAUSE IN THAT CASE YOU ACHIEVED YOUR GOAL

[@vtheory7531]

I was literally thinking about why I want to achieve things so much, and I literally said "I just don't want to be a Nobody" and then you said that this is exactly a type 3's biggest fear! Like wow, you are just stating my whole life right now!

[@ArleynH]

"People don't want to lose" My immediate thought: "well, then DON'T LOSE"

[@hectorotis512]

i know it's pretty randomly asking but do anyone know of a good website to watch new movies online?

[@calvinjoziah8788]

@Hector Otis lately I have been using FlixZone. You can find it on google =)

[@dereknoel6353]

@Hector Otis i would suggest Flixzone. Just google for it =)

[@elisage5300]

@Hector Otis try FlixZone. Just search on google for it =)

[@nanditamenon2219]

Soooo pretty sure these three people above are all the same person on different accounts right? =) (brb just joining the weird happy face cult)

[@sechale]

Omg another one. “What do you see when you look inwards? Emptiness. There’s a black hole there.” Dr. Tom slaying all 3’s lol

[@research1982]

Everyone living in the U.S. should watch this.

[@motosojourner]

Haven't felt like myself in a few years, since moving overseas, and thought I was a 9w8 the whole time. Turns out I'm a 3 but was adapting to a 9 culture (had a major fear of failing at that) and thought that was my identity. This video explained so much - thank you!

[@klauschamberlain7600]

very familiar with that, we also disintegrate to the 9, so a lot of us when we're unhealthier but don't know it can easily mistype as 9's or 2's

[@motosojourner]

Yes, exactly. I have been in a very unhealthy place for a few years and was defining myself based on that.

[@purvab1683]

7:00 😪 I ended up thinking too much about this and now I am unmotivated because nothing feels worth it... any help?

[@klauschamberlain7600]

This was very eye opening and helpful, also finding this combined with finding my subtype truly brought tears to my eyes, but I am at least finally on the road to recovery :)

[@Eleolius]

"Every day is a masquerade." -Life as a 3. The hard part is that the masks we make do something important. *they play the part.* Its hard, because all I find looking inside is a hollow. All I ever feel like is a 1st place cheat. But... I know I'm not cheating. I'm just acting well. Its infuriating. Especially when there are those parts of life where I just can't build a mask to work, and I'm useless at so much.

[@ashablaine]

This has super helped me. I used to think I was strictly a 4 but I am definitely a 3. They are a tie according to my enneagram test.. definitely as a child I felt only loved if I performed well, so naturally, as an adult, I am a music performer who always craves the next gig just to feel importance.. you hit on some major things that I’ve never thought of before, because like I said I only thought of myself as a4. Thank you so much for these videos

[@brandihester7194]

Asha I’m also a 3!!! I can so relate. 😘

[@joyce_leej1010b]

As a 3w4, I am STILL SO AFRAID OF FAILURE sometimes even after years of work since first learning my type in 2015. The frequency has definitely lessened, though. And I am more frequently able to face the fear, although I still have many days of avoidance that I am ashamed of. On the better days, I painfully brace, flip the 90-second hourglass I have on my home desk and cry/fear/feel like dying under the shame for 90 seconds, then I am better. But not sure if it will ever go away.

[@HealingHouse88]

Contemplation has helped me a lot...still these drives come up constantly. Thanks for the video. Still love and hate the enneagram 😅

[@twlahue]

Yes, I understand.

[@chitsuy]

A perfect question that can help type 3’s like me “Is an emerald suddenly flawed if no one admires it?”.

[@user-ic7bn8ns4m]

Yes it's just a stone then

[@roiiitruster]

@@user-ic7bn8ns4m wrong it's still a rare emerald.

[@charlesb-philosophy]

So I took a more detailed enneagram test and it gave me percentages. 98% type 5, 96% type 3 This makes sense when I look back at my life. As I listen to this video I feel so convicted. I was on a fast trajectory upward in my career as a performer before covid shut us down, and now I’ve been forced to spend more time at home. I’ve been asking myself that question more and more of what do I really care about and what’s most important. I’ve had this slight fear of becoming like Nicolas Cage in The Family Man before his “glimpse”; as I’ve historically always made my career and achievements the most important thing to me. I’m literally trying to be more healthy in my choices right now... but I feel like I don’t know how to change without sacrificing my ideals.. Anyway, these videos are helpful. Thank you

[@livjaho1983]

I am a ENFP, 3w2. Dr. LaHue, this was spot on! It was helpful to learn that when we are healthy we adopt traits of the six. I can see that :) I am wondering if there are any traits of the 9 that a three emulates when they are healthy? Or is 9 simply a stress place for threes?

[@maladroitcolors]

Same!! It feels good to be understood 😎

[@Melitta-zx4sf]

Yes, you can take on positive or negative traits from both.

[@deannadicostanzo362]

I am the same as well !

[@angelpalmer2247]

same as well!!

[@davidtrig]

We move to the healthy side of 9 when we rest

[@laurenhutson9784]

If I’m Gonna fail.. I wanna look good failing. I have more chances of success at whatever I’m doing if I look the part and look good in that part. People will have something negative to say about me if I fail but they will also have something positive to say about my looks. Sometimes I really feel messed up.

[@Thabs101]

Why I inexplicably put make up on for a meeting I didn't prepare for 😅

[@patdomond7632]

wow I felt you were talking directly to me!!! Many thanks, keep doing what you do, it is deep and helpful.

[@twlahue]

You are so welcome

[@debbiecollins1127]

I know this was long ago, but I have spent so many hours this week immersing myself in the wisdom you have shared surrounding Enneagrams. Someone at church asked me months ago....what number are you? and I was stumped. Been a Christian nigh on 40 years but hadn't come across this before. Sobbing my way through this video as my husband is a 3. He is struggling with his faith and won't watch this but this has opened my eyes so much as how I can love him better. Thank you, so grateful for your time spent sharing the knowledge you have gleaned on this topic. BTW, I am a 2w1. :)

[@kaitlin6300]

I won 13 filmmaking awards and I asked myself that same question after my wins 😂. Do I even care? So what? Back to the drawing board! I actually thought I was a 4 for a while, because after my success, my 4 wing kicked in. My 4 wing likes to make itself known sometimes and it comes in strong when it wants to be seen and heard.

[@dragonm4364]

wow I've been looking into 3 (guessing I'm a 3w4..) and man that spoke to a lot in my life.. Thank you for your comment!!

[@deborahsaunders9477]

So much wisdom in this video. Given me so my insight into myself as a 3. Very grateful

[@shaneaverystarr]

What a wonderful and helpful video!! Thank you Tom!

[@cosmiclve]

Not me crying over this video after I just wanted to casually watch something

[@aleishajuliet994]

30:00 I sobbed

[@sechale]

Oh man I’m a serial commenter now. “They want financial success because they don’t want to” (checks notes) “disappear into a chasm of emptiness.” I literally laughed out loud it is the troof

[@BrendanVickers715]

This really hits hard, a lot of food for thought.

[@imjustrambling]

Truly eye opening. Thank you for sharing.

[@ashleyching3166]

A touching, tear-jerking video

[@stunningscenario5606]

I actually cried at the end of the video😳

[@AlexisDavis16]

I feel the change because of this, thank you

[@MarySmith-pq9zt]

I just want my doctor to be good at what he's doing. I don't care what motivates him.

[@lifeoftinsley]

This is amazing! Super helpful.

[@crystalreed59]

I've been mis typing myself for a while now. I've thought I was a 4 then I thought I was a 9. Nothing hits harder than this. I realize I am a 3. This video has made me feel so exposed. Every thing i ask myself about my core, I automatically think, how is that perceived by so and so... I must create a to do list w check boxes to help me identify w my true core. Lol just kidding! Thanks so much for this work.

[@Leadpest]

i really resonated with a lot of what you said, and now i'm convinced i'm a 3

[@koekenbroodje]

It's a little painful to hear when you are a three yourself but I stay positive thinking that you are a seven and sometimes say too much😂

[@rafaelbreno2981]

Nice video, thanks for sharing!

[@twlahue]

Thanks

[@caitlyns5804]

34:23 no, unfortunately this is not just a metaphor for my 3 life 😬

[@Enfpmom]

I lost my job and can’t even hang out since I don’t have anything going for myself

[@ankitvats9780]

Very helpful man! Felt like you scanned my brain!

[@twlahue]

Glad it helped!

[@ankitvats9780]

@@twlahue What's your type?

[@koekenbroodje]

Ankit Vats he’s a 7 :))

[@linabulakh9890]

This is hard to hear... I don’t know what to do with all this: “you don’t know what to with you and who you really are”...

[@nancydavidson7306]

Terrific explanation. Thanks

[@bystreetsky]

Thank you so much for this talk.

[@tcewmg3430]

I am struggling with hearing "do your best" but your best is better than those around you?

[@dlyamenialubimoi1599]

So truly... I'm crying

[@missytauler]

Interested to know if enneagram type relates to birth order.

[@julianbailot1]

Yes, because we were attracted to the parents that will help us to wake up. So, from that paradigm, your personality was set at birth because your environment was already waiting for you to build your personality so you can transcend the aspects of the ego (the false self) you couldn't overcome in your previous life.

[@ashleyching3166]

This confirms I'm a 4w3, I think. I don't think I could deceive for these reasons...

[@ashleyching3166]

Asian parents, do you love your children because of what they've accomplished? LOL

[@天靈靈地靈靈-l2d]

Thank you Dr.!

[@rogersabubakarr1]

wow, thank you!

[@bodyatwar]

Every video I just want rip your curtains down and iron them. Your image is important to me too! (True 3 😣😂)

[@faithlynnjoy2980]

😂😂😂

[@davidtrig]

Podcast?

[@twlahue]

I have considered it. Not planning on it at this time. Thanks.

[@victorperry1265]

Thank you.Right on

[@Gchili]

This is so real that I'm sick

[@nazanin85]

Hello Dr LaHue; I hope you see this comment About diagnosis famous people, can we say Emmanuel Macron is also type 3 Thank you so very much for informative videos💐

[@koekenbroodje]

Nazanin Karvar I personally think that's really hard to know about celebrities because you always know yourself differently :))

[@JohannBBravo]

he has most definitly a very close 'type 3' (if something like that exists) in his life.. i guess his brother

[@AnnieHugie]

Ouch! 😳

[@NickOnPar]

Does this mean 3’s are inherently selfish?

[@gwendolynboone8996]

Sure sounds like he thinks so.

[@sechale]

Holy **** this is a NECESSARY BOLLOCKING lolol. Bring on this bollocking.

[@sechale]

Hahaha. “You may be a miserable failure at life, but this one area you focused on ... “ take the slap 3’s (am a 3)

[@ashleyching7894]

Charming people

[@ashleyching7894]

Admiration is not the same thing as being loved by others.

[@ashleyching7894]

How can they love me if they don’t even know me?

[@ashleyching7894]

I may be a miserable failure at life and still be a success at work.

[@ashleyching7894]

3s believe they are their image.

[@ashleyching7894]

3s inner core is broken just like everybody else, no matter how the outside looks.

[@hanaamr3685]

Wow

[@worthtryingonce]

I usually don’t comment because I don’t get noticed 🤣

[@missytauler]

🤯

[@aodhanodonnell2148]

37:28 Donald Trump lol