The ESSENTIAL Guide To Being RON F**** SWANSON | Parks and Recreation | Comedy Bites

[@agentember2143]

"I live the way I live, I eat the way I eat, and I'll die the way I'll die." -Ron Swanson Truly beautiful.

[@Bazerk101]

That needs to be on a tombstone.

[@the-anhpham3364]

Samuel Tieman, that need to be a quote people don’t dismiss because it is said by a fictional character.

[@BiggestMeowser]

And he has the toes that he has

[@harshdhiman2690]

Please and thank you.

[@MySonIsADog]

murica

[@KEVMAN7987]

Why Ron & Diane belong together is simple; they both shop at Food & Stuff for all of their food and most of their stuff.

[@moviehermit5631]

I’m surprised he gave so much information about his home with his comment about Food and stuff being equidistant from his home and work

[@lawrencegenedavid2288]

What an outstanding point, a rare mistake from Ronald Ulysses Swanson

[@andremabarnes5934]

Also surprised he let a cab driver take him home after his birthday

[@zacharycollett5456]

That was his "government home"

[@jamestown8398]

But notice that he didn't tell us the address of his home or of Food n Stuff.

[@mozzytrainer]

@@jamestown8398 but his coworkers would know, right?

[@hafyrrochagm7471]

Dwight and Ron, working togheter in the National Park in a crossover.. is my purest dream

[@AP-lf7xd]

I would've said wetest

[@gavinspringer5732]

Ron would get sick that Dwight talking about his farm and his beets

[@starkey101ruby7]

How about dwight from the office and dina from superstore. Or Micheal Scott vs. Leslie Knope

[@part2jotaroandpals567]

@@gavinspringer5732 I think Ron would appreciate the hard and honest work that dwight does, even though he grows vegetables. I can imagine them hunting together and dwight slowly trying to get Ron to watch lord of the rings

[@diegodeluquev1433]

@@starkey101ruby7 everyone would just hate Scott's guts.

[@orengk2443]

The scene with the spinning chair and the old lady will always hold a special place in my heart😂😂

[@arunthiagarajan796]

Ron: "In my experience wedding presents are nothing more than kindling on the divorce bonfire" Words from a wise man 😄😄

[@sydneytilden2341]

He straight up ate that childs entire lunch, that is taxes for you

[@antccantc5594]

Its how I taught my kids about Halloween tax

[@yourmumschancla3953]

and yet people want more taxes. While thinking the goverment which wants those higher taxes is gonna use it correctly yet the same people dont like government then advocate for more.

[@yourmumschancla3953]

@@asimhussain8716 and then its not even taxing the rich its just taxes aside from basics for populations that group together like roads PD, FD, MIL ect are necessary. They need to actually punish for legal violations. And stop taxing middle to lower class at such high rates, stop promoting government dependence. Give grants to those who actually need them and put forth the effort into their educations. So much that could be fixed.but people dont want to do that apparently and they then vote for those things that cause/ contribute to their problems.

[@yourmumschancla3953]

@@asimhussain8716 mhm

[@yourmumschancla3953]

@Joe and yet the tax for the braket of 10G to 15G rn is like 13-20%

[@Akshay-jp3ql]

Ron: When I eat, it is the food that is scared. Also Ron: I have voided more than Tom's body weight in the last 24 hours alone, because of a stupid mini calzone.

[@nickrivas6429]

Clearly the "calzone" wasn't food to begin with.

[@kylepope9795]

He wasn’t scared

[@absolutez3r019]

it wasn't a mini calzone. it was a delicate little dough pocket, filled with tomato sauce,cheese and seasoned meat

[@aldente3868]

The calzone was scared right out of his digestive tract.

[@nameredacted1176]

"Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desert. Be ice cream or be nothing " End of comment

[@thewingedwheelwarrior2206]

0 Stars

[@mjs2016]

0 moons

[@marieantonettel.dumindin6942]

0 atoms

[@the-anhpham3364]

0 quarks

[@Gingenuity]

I would watch a show of Ron fixing up houses.

[@fryncyaryorvjink2140]

He was on an episode of this old house. He made a few jokes that went over the hosts head

[@shubhamchaudhari6884]

Subscribe Van Neistat pls. Your wish is granted.

[@owenlewis7928]

You can’t say that and then not add the link

[@azriel9479]

He needs his OWN series asap.

[@NikopolAU]

"You are on, with Ron"

[@fredbreadbun6277]

I've never even watched this series but the clips of Ron are enough for me to agree sir!

[@sixtynineelephants]

To have a friend like Leslie Knope is beyond the greatest gift to all of us who relate to Ron Swanson. God bless Leslie Knope.

[@Psykel]

Man, the birthday ”party” scene never fails to moisten my eyes. Leslie was such a good friend.

[@austinparker2283]

Sign: Do not drink sprinkler water Essential Oils Lady: “Let’s make tea with it!

[@jacksondavis2548]

bro i swear to god that pissed me off so badly for some reason

[@marcovazquez9397]

@@jacksondavis2548 same.

[@MrMutou]

People like her irritate tf outta me🤦🏽‍♂️

[@eibbor171]

@@jacksondavis2548 its the dumbassery its ok i get that too to bad in this world besides change its a constant

[@PineMountainMusician]

Ya like oh water is toxic maybe make tea out of it even though water is the primary ingredient in tea like how stupid do you have to be she is the perfect example of a karen

[@Kaptson]

Cause of Ron Swanson whenever i pick up meat i give it a slap before buying it, and i'm proud of it.

[@myluckyzippo7169]

I do that every time too. Please and thank you.

[@tommylyeah]

It is required.

[@dylynblue9864]

Gotta spank your meat!

[@CharlonClarke]

as we all should

[@deontaeavila3514]

I spit and cough on to the containers before I put it back where I found it.

[@darthtater6762]

I was waiting for this to simply say “Be a man.”

[@spitfilledballoon]

So was i

[@darthtater6762]

Alexandra Margaret that could’ve been the entire video and I would’ve been satisfied

[@spitfilledballoon]

Darth Tater same here

[@aserdogman]

That is sufficient. Please a and thank you

[@nadiarichy3695]

The worst part is the speech he gave 2 that 1st grader is like 99% accurate

[@the-anhpham3364]

99%? That is insultingly low.

[@FadriqueFM]

100% accurate.

[@briantxcattleskull2752]

Ron Swanson, Al Bundy, Redd Foreman and James Evans are the Mount Rushmore for TV Role Models

[@fort9303]

I like saying no. It lowers their enthusiasm.

[@joe_3105]

ron: "when people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them" april: "that's a genius move!" ron: "thank you!" april: "you're welcome, Lester" ron: **weird smile**

[@humor1012]

"Proud Dad" smile 😂

[@joe_3105]

@@humor1012 true, he's so proud of her tbh 😂

[@thefourshowflip]

I want the same gift Leslie gave Ron Swanson for my birthday...I could care less about the movie, but the peaceful steak and scotch with a ride home later-sounds sooooo nice.

[@sebastianwardana1527]

i laugh at the round desk situation, but really, the women shouldnt have drank that water and he is right in ignoring her plight...

[@anthonygarcia5375]

What's even better is she made "sun" tea or tea warmed by the sun instead of boiled

[@LuckyAJC]

@@anthonygarcia5375 some tea

[@anthonygarcia5375]

@@LuckyAJC _Sun_ tea its real and ive seen the episode subtitles plus it just makes it so much worse instead of boiling it which would kill some bacteria she just left it in the sun for a few hours to brew with whatever tea herbs or mix she put in leaving the water just as contaminated as if you didnt do anything to its the worst tea she could have made with bad water

[@alayablack9104]

@@LuckyAJC no she says sun tea

[@betteldottel]

I can't stop watching ron- compilations. I saw every clip about 20 times by now but i just can't stop.

[@Theantininja]

I will never get over "There's a sign at Ramsett park that says'Do Not Drink The Sprinkler Water,' so I made sun tea with it and now I have an infection."

[@defs8073]

Never?😊

[@yaboimilk]

I can’t believe that Parks and Rec is off of Netflix.

[@saturnsings3471]

i know. i’m so so so so so sad... i’m a little addicted.. watched it all the way through 9+ times

[@Hello-fn4vr]

Omg! You mean soul, why would you tell me that? I hadn't even realized until today! 😭😭😭

[@toolshed7652]

It's on Prime Video now 😁

[@yaboimilk]

Toolshed76 also peacock

[@louisevoelkin249]

Also now tv

[@hetzacoatl]

Really have to appreciate just how well she delivered that line about the sprinkler water and making tea with it.

[@Tiger18H]

Man, there's a lot of Meme content in this single video.

[@littlesignificance7725]

awww Ron looks so young with his smaller moustache

[@mistergio3683]

Someday or heck probably today...this man will be a tall tale hero.

[@phazeflux7900]

“Okay everyone SHUT UP and look at me!” Lmfao!!! 😂

[@CharlonClarke]

definitely and ice breaker and attention grabber lol

[@spartin1173]

Its gender neutral to the point and effective

[@browngone1782]

"Why Government Matters." 😂

[@Suffering-Emporium]

It dosent

[@kryptonavenger2024]

"Well said." ~Ron Swanson.

[@spitfilledballoon]

It doesn’t

[@allendunbar6983]

It doesn't

[@tiernadarcy8594]

Can I just say, I’m going through a breakup.. and Ron Swanson videos are the thing that’s kept me going the most

[@yepok2957]

I love the way Ron runs. Like a little kid.

[@NewhamMatt]

"When I eat, it is the food that is scared." - Ron Swanson going full Chuck Norris

[@unknown_limes]

Thinking back, Ron agreeing with Andy's teacher on marriage being a form of slavery makes sense in context with his first marriage. Tammy 1 was terrifying enough that nobody in town would object to their relationship even though it's implied that everyone had a problem with a 15-year-old boy dating the nurse that helped birth him. Her influence on him when they got back together made him a shell of the man he was. We can only imagine how horrifically abusive she was during their marriage.

[@blahblahblah8427]

Ron swiveling away from that lady in the chair is exactly how I deal with my problems.

[@aaronwibbenmeyer1662]

I don’t know what was more scared the school bus that hit him or the paunch burgers he devours

[@josefstahl2467]

Ron Swanson Guide: Do what interests you. Enjoy your self (Do something to make you happy, Eating, Exercise, Working but don't over do it.) Make jokes and learn to take jokey about yourself easily. I don't know further, I'm drunk and I love Ron Swanson Everytime when I think live is too hard I come here on KZbin because Ron Swanson (even tho he's fictional) is fantastic. Be Yourself Be kind to others others Do what makes you happy Treat people like you want to be treated Nothing comes easily And don't pressure things, you only make it worse. Wisdom from the 24 old Guy totally Drunk on the bathroom on 9pm with over 800,000 Euros loan and Single. Learn to enjoy the things you can't buy, or the things you have because if your honest most don't have them

[@TheRepublicOfJohn]

Das stimmt

[@arunbangay8616]

I realise now that we could work out where Ron lives. Ron said Food and Stuff is equidistant from his work and his house. We know where he works. We know where Food and Stuff is. Let’s say that Food and Stuff is 5 miles from Pawnee’s government building. We know now that Ron’s house is in a 5 mile radius of that Food and Stuff ;)

[@RantingBrummie]

A bit lax of Ron to potentially give away his place of living like that.

[@old.tables1989]

He also once lived behind the bulge, straight up

[@pgiovanettijr]

Ron's "birthday party" is just about the most perfect night-in I can think of...big juicy steak, a plate of bacon, a nice scotch, and a couple of classic movies...where do I sign?

[@evenios2831]

i never seen a full episode but i watch just for the Ron clips

[@viloceraptorx5102]

3:00- 3:05 I just realized what the woman said. She said that she saw the sign that said "Don't Drink The Sprinkler Water" and she made tea with it anyway

[@abigailar3123]

What I love about Ron is how accurate everything he says about government is. The man does his research despite also hating the government.

[@timbuktu8069]

Teacher: "Marriage is a glorified form of slavery." Ron: Amen MGTOW: *AMEN*

[@seta2710]

Can you explain what MGTOW stands for?

[@timbuktu8069]

@@seta2710 Men Going Their Own Way A semi movement where men are tired of trying to meet an unattainable standard set by women and society. They are not misogynists, they just don't want to put up with other peoples nonsense. Hope that helps.

[@seta2710]

@@timbuktu8069 cool thanks

[@timbuktu8069]

@@seta2710 Contrary to the evidence, I'm here to help.

[@Colayith]

@@timbuktu8069 "They are not misogynists" A fantastic way to begin any statement

[@FewerMiles]

Not unlike Mr. Swanson, I did go to a certain uppish grocery store to kill time as opposed to going to the Audubon Zoo, which was up the road.

[@brunesi]

1:42 if that ever, ever happened in my life it would be the most awesome thing. Meaning, that's a bit North of just work/political interests in gift/favor exchanges, looks more like genuinely knowing other's quirks and remembering them. Brings a warm touch to the heart and a small tear to the eye.

[@bravofoxtrotllc6817]

Ron teaching taxes using lunch was brilliant!

[@WaxNvader]

“So there is a sign that says not to drink the water, so I proceeded to drink the water and now I’m sick”

[@peterwagner958]

thats not even the fking line

[@bluespartan076]

National treasure 3: the legend of Ron Swansons' Pawnee gold stashes...

[@John-zilla]

8:09 Satisfied

[@elolife1375]

Ron Swanson is what Dwight Schrute wishes he could be

[@cadenchase3112]

put this show back on Netflix

[@jsbcody]

Okay, the birthday "party for Ron........is my ideal birthday day and I watch the same films but also include "The Enemy Below" and "A Bridge Too Far"........

[@tessflood9551]

leslie and gifts fit togther like whiskey and ron

[@felixjr2002]

Bro really had contingency plans to leave his everyday life. That's Ron Fucking Swanson.

[@S-sense]

“When I eat, it’s the food that is scared…” Thanks for sharing “Drama Nibble”

[@thewatcher5271]

Ron Swanson a.k.a. Nick Offerman - That Lucky Duck Actor Gets To Say All The Things A-lot Of Men Wish They Could Say But Can't Get Away With . . .

[@MP15aug]

What does he say that you don't feel you can say?

[@PaNDaSNiP3R]

Bacon=Meat candy

[@boreborn9728]

Yes

[@the-anhpham3364]

Bacon = meat candy But Meat candy = not good visual

[@old.tables1989]

@@the-anhpham3364 yes it is, it looks like bacon

[@DarkD112]

"When I eat, it is the food that is scared"

[@blairboone914]

The fact that the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness was not included in this video is quite frankly a tragedy

[@eyeseer1]

Swanson wrote the book to living, then he destroyed the book, because he makes his own rules.

[@twanieblack]

God I love Ron he is hilarious a real man's man

[@lamiam4527]

The dislikes are from freakin’ vegans

[@sheryl.sst1537]

I'm a vegan and love parks and rec, especially ron.

[@oofoof5791]

Ron crying when he got hit by a school bus only is believable because he did not even cry when he got shot

[@Sisyphos420]

Hey Mike - what's the worst thing about prison?

[@lsuhutch9570]

The way Ron runs is greatest.

[@kouroshnahid4299]

7:38 Well, after God Of War, I understand that mentality, Freya!

[@jacklame417]

now im wondering how'd they convince Ron to be recorded?

[@Luketc7]

I wish my dad was Ron Swanson

[@pineapple5825]

Dear everyone who disliked You are the equivalent of snails in the animal kingdom and the reason this species is failing as a whole End of truthful speech

[@thelittleagustus.2292]

But snails serve a purpose. They do not

[@talon86blake59]

Food and stuff looks like a great store, kill 2 birds with one stone.

[@juanmanueljimenez2287]

And then Ron buys both dead birds for April. $2 a piece.

[@chucksherron]

Isn't food and stuff basically a Walmart.

[@footballmatters8686]

My daughter says that I am Ron Swanson. I will take that as a compliment

[@mchanson9332]

That "Amen". Perfect!

[@joedeshon]

0:51 Ron's speech at the art show is a foreshadowing of Neutral Janet.

[@LoneHerald]

Not gonna lie, to live the life of Ron would be just fine with me

[@TheFatController.]

I've never watched this series, I'm not even from the USA.. but I relate 100% with Ron, it's spooky. I wish I knew more people like him.

[@ryanbarker5217]

ron agrees that marriage is a form of slavery, just not in the way the 'professor' means it. i agree with ron.

[@katharineblowers5574]

03:00 Cry laugh every time

[@lisachaffin3671]

8:54 The irony here being that Nick Offerman has confessed that back in his collage days, (and whenever he goes back to visit) that he would visit one of these near his collage. According to his interview on Hot Ones.

[@douglasbullet6456]

Leslie: "So here's what's going on" Ron: "Didn't ask" LMAO😂

[@katherinebaker6888]

When April was doing the giant list of things for Ron she talked abt giant blow-up saxophones and that made me wonder if Leslie somehow knew abt him being Duke Silver.

[@jonvia]

When I eat, it is the food that is scared.

[@viktorsilva4017]

Do any of you have dietery restrictions ? "no" *Correct*

[@saltedllama2759]

If there were 300 million Ron Swansons in this country, it would quickly become the best it's ever been for each individual, and the world.

[@willstorts5835]

I wish to one day be like Ron Swanson.

[@TheRepublicOfJohn]

Stop wishing to be. Just be. It is easy and there is nothing stopping you, friend.

[@Cam_isMe]

Who else is here after they took this show off a Netflix?

[@AestheticSloth420]

Its on Peacock for free, comrade

[@Cam_isMe]

@@AestheticSloth420 Spasiba soldat

[@sofiamarta7249]

Luckily they just added it on the UK

[@isuckatgames5792]

Ron's beard is amazing

[@donaldtrumpet1399]

I feel like dwight and Ron would be 2 peas in a pod. Best crossover special episode ever

[@hallowedpossession]

7:41 Freya from GOD OF WAR

[@JacksonHall2004]

Ron is my spirit animal.

[@bumpadump9378]

I love how he runs away at 4:00

[@alexmurphy8837]

The sign said don't drink the sprinkler water, so I ignored it and drank right from it because why follow rules and signs? It's just a metal rectangle. Doesn't mean anything

[@arielbanks5557]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 exactly 😃 I would've done the same thing as Ron

[@ishanbasu6533]

Next birthday I’m having a Ron Swanson b-day good film good food good drink and alone Perfection 👌🏾

[@Ripboss]

2:59 in the video, how to deal with karens XD LMAO

[@dcowan023]

Not going to lie, I was overcome with emotion with his surprise birthday party. I laughed so hard I cried.

[@bartallen6849]

I was thinking of becoming *the* Swanson... Why is this so conveniently perfect timed? Is this a privacy violation?

[@bartallen6849]

@John Barber sure I'll change it

[@buckaroundandfindout]

Love this guy.

[@tomlewis9207]

Shhhh....look at that thing. ...nature is amazing.

[@user-ft2md2gd4s]

"Nature is amazing" bit is savage LOL

[@skyw3419]

Ah yes, 0 dislikes, this is what we like to see

[@dr-wn9xc]

*2

[@saicharan3359]

*83

[@Alex-vq9ni]

4:25 you know he grew that beard naturally. what a legend

[@ICrimezl]

I totally forgot Danielle played the professor on Parks and Rec...I can’t believe I talk to her all the time and I didn’t even remember.