The Factors That Create a ‘High Value’ Partner

Romina writes, “You touched on this in a recent video, but I'd love for you to speak about the topic specifically: the process in which we value a person/romantic relationship. When do we start placing that value? Once we value them in a certain way, does it change? How come we find ourselves overvaluing people when we felt that at the start, we're both valuing each other the same (or was I just disillusioned)?”
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Relationship Expert and Bestselling Author (Allowing Magnificence, Older Women/Younger Men, and Breakup Triage) Susan Winter, writes, speaks and coaches on evolutionary forms of loving partnership and higher thinking. Media credits include: THE OPRAH SHOW, THE TODAY SHOW, GOOD MORNING AMERICA, ABC EVENING NEWS, THE LIST, CNN HEADLINE NEWS, BBC, COSMO, HARPERS BAZAAR, FORTUNE, FORBES, BUSINESS INSIDER, PEOPLE MAGAZINE, NEW YORK MAGAZINE, THE LONDON TIMES, MUMBAI MIRROR, IRISH TIMES, THE TIMES OF INDIA, and THE NEW YORK TIMES. In radio, Susan is a frequent guest on NPR, ABC, BBC, and CBS NEWS RADIO. Public speaking includes keynotes at the WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM, THE INTERNATIONAL MENTAL HEALTH FESTIVAL, and the CORE CLUB NYC. Her Podcast, 'The Susan Winter Show,' can be heard on Spotify, iHeart Radio, and Apple Music. www.susanwinter.net

[@charliewebster7726]

Try and be patient. Let somebody else tell their own story, even if it means you asking them for details over time. Don't tell their story for them. You may inaccurately fill in gaps, create in your mind a fantasy version of them...and then be disappointed/disheartened when they're not that person! It's happened to me!

[@Jocelyn_Jade]

Whoa this is great information, thank you. It felt like I needed to hear this today. I had become disillusioned with the online dating scene, so decided to reevaluate and start dating with intention and have strong boundaries. I will get the relationship I want, just have to be intolerant of BS!

[@SusanWinter]

Bravo! Boundaries are the key to unlock what the universe has in store for you!

[@Helyballa]

Susan, I can never get enough of your content. Every time I visit your page, I find myself enlightened and incredibly empowered. You are a true blessing. You deserve way more subscribers and attention. The material that you are presenting is incredibly profound and and real. You should write a book!

[@SusanWinter]

Hello there! Thank you so very very much for such a humbling message! I really appreciate all the love! I have written a few books that are available on Amazon! Check out Allowing Magnificence! You might really enjoy it!

[@happythoughts444]

Thank you again auntie Susan! You always know what to say that brings much more clarity to my personal growth. Sending a warm hug of thanks. Have a beautiful day 💚

[@SusanWinter]

You’re so very welcome! Your kind message truly touches my heart!

[@lano9112]

You are the wisest and most intelligent relationship expert I have ever come across. You are truly a gem. Thank you!❤️

[@user-yv1fh3fc8y]

A high value woman is faithful and affectionate. A high value man protects, provides and reciprocates fidelity and affection.

[@kaizen3039]

Proverbs 31 for a virtuous woman and Job 29 for a Godly man

[@DennisNowland]

Trouble is love is deaf, dumb and blind. But in the end you can see people for who they are and what they are.

[@bilhanlatino6464]

you have a talent for releasing very important and enlightening information at the moment when its needed the most, thank you very very much for everything you do, you have helped me so much today.

[@SusanWinter]

I’m glad this timing worked in your favor! 🤗

[@BryanPablo6270]

This one hits home Susan, experienced this afew times. I'm constantly learning everyday for my growth and really appreciate your invaluable info and a HUUGE thank you🌹💐

[@Snail611]

What great insights. This makes so much sense. Thanks Susan! Long time fan of you since 2019 😊

[@SusanWinter]

thanks Nuchi!

[@terrybrodsky4948]

Thank you Susan. Your wisdom and insight are so spot on. So well detailed and explained.

[@antilaw9911]

Thing is, people are still going ti judge and overlook red flags because they value physical attraction above all else. So sad. There lies the core of dating

[@SusanWinter]

It can be hard to see those red flags on occasion that’s for sure!

[@jeanp.1303]

Wow Susan! This was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much! Hugs to you and Nikka.

[@avalonmist254]

So there is actually a man that doesn't mind me reading on the couch...

[@kerrymillar1267]

This is one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard, thank you.

[@SusanWinter]

You’re very welcome

[@aleksandrape9240]

Hi Susan, thanks for all your advise, it’s very valuable and reasonable. I enterem the online dating world with hi level of self esteem, a vision of what I’m looking for and with the idea of open communication and honestly. That was 10 months ago. After 10 months and a few good and numerous bad experiemces, I start to fear this is never going to happen. How do I still believe in myself and my dream, when th whole dating proces turnus out to be disappointment?

[@r.y.lee.]

I need to go to SWU (Susan winter university)

[@SusanWinter]

Hahaha! I love it! 🤗

[@roser8911]

Guy think that women who rejected them are high value… women who show so much of love and put guy on pedestals think they are low value. I mean why!? They show you so much of love and think low value… so sad 😭

[@geraldineheil4005]

Love this video so much! So good!! Such wisdom & you always make me laugh so much about the way you talk about these issues and say it like it is!!! Fantastic!! Much appreciated!! 💜💙💜💙

[@SusanWinter]

Aww Geraldine! I love hearing that I can make someone chuckle!

[@geraldineheil4005]

@@SusanWinter You always lift my spirits & are such an inspiration to me!! I laugh with you all the time and one of my favourite things you said in one of your talks was about people at the golf club who were double upset because you not only looked the part, but could play golf', this story is on my mind all the time!! Hysterical!! Love your skill(s) set(s)!! 🏌️‍♀️ 🌺🌸🌺🌸

[@statrunner]

I recommend against saying "High Value Partner". Makes it sound like Female Dating Strategy

[@TravelBug189]

Great video and the last question really resonated with me. I have issues with boundaries and often times I would bend my standards in order to accommodate the other person (ex: he invites me out then flakes out) I’d just tell myself it’s ok, he gets a pass because I really like him and since he has a very stressful career he’s probably just busy or maybe doesn’t feel great that day) But that would teach him that I’m accepting his wishy washy behavior so why would he change it? Every time he invites me out I say yes and every time something comes up I just let it slide. I wouldn’t with any other guy, just for him. I guess I put him on this pedestal but I don’t know how to stop

[@AlwaysTryingToBeABetterHuman]

There's nothing wrong with crying. It's frustrating that people act like it's a bad thing but when you self reflect all the time and the crying is a result of strong emotions it's cruel to shame someone for it.

[@anni.3898]

Hi Susan! It's always lovely to listen to/ find someone very eloquent and at the same time very insightful. Many thanks for this, wishing you a great day!

[@SusanWinter]

Many virtual hugs to you! Thank you so much!

[@farhiaadeed2227]

I actually think I am queen of creating how ever I will not allow dissing me

[@azmike3572]

Still had to fire my director...😊

[@susansherman9929]

I will listen to this many times over. This is a thought provoking video. Susan you nailed it. Thank you!

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you much Susan!

[@ww21943]

The timing of this video couldn’t have been better!!

[@SusanWinter]

Happy to hear it!

[@erintraylor6794]

so articulate. Thank you

[@Maggie1952]

Great topic. Love you Susan. Greetings from Madrid, Spain.

[@SusanWinter]

HOLA Margaret!

[@Maggie1952]

Hola Susan! Un abrazo 🤗

[@billydandthehoodoos]

Your hair looks great 👍 This is the first recent video of yours I've seen.. love your advice ❤ Thank U!

[@anirbansen6597]

Does physical attraction evolve over time ? I believe romance can evolve, however compatibility doesn't...Would love to hear your opinions

[@AngelGrey_]

this is such a good video I never even thought about this and it's so interesting

[@Kay-ln3kx]

I love the bangs!😊❤

[@debralondon2402]

Very good and helpful video. Thanks

[@SusanWinter]

You are welcome

[@anushkafernando7046]

Thankyouuuuuu i learned so much .. and am able to stand on my ground.. thankyou sussan so much.... being a person with develomental trauma.. and abandonement issues... i naturally didnt have higher values for my self... doing therapy together with videos like this helps

[@elmaswanepoel1598]

Thanks Susan. Funny that my new partner and I under-valued each other initially. I guess previous experience brought that along and that age matters (53 and 62 respectively)

[@lilyvega7450]

This was terrific. Keep the dream, just change the partner. This makes so much sense!

[@SusanWinter]

Glad it resonated with you!

[@claudias1661]

Love this! 💖 What zodiac sign are you? I am leo 🙋‍♀️🦁😊

[@lloydjones3371]

As is true of all your videos, your understanding and articulate expression are amazing - thank you.

[@andyphuong3102]

Susan as a new comer to this channel and subscriber, how do I navigate a new healthy relationship or things That I should know?

[@richardkelly6390]

Did is the final truth, and key. This is called common sense reciprocation, you need the self respect to expect and have faith to find reciprocation and the standards you are looking for, period.

[@GR-rk2fi]

So good, again! 🙂

[@ChrisLT]

Yep, I think you covered everything on this topic. Listening a second time now!

[@SusanWinter]

I’m so glad it resonated with you!

[@vanessamarlenesanchez2213]

I am struggling with this at this moment. This is very good for me. Thank you very much.

[@jeanp.1303]

Awesome Q&A!

[@alana2998]

What if physically they are not exactly what you wanted or what you find super attractive? Can that attraction grow over time? Thank you, Susan💟

[@SusanWinter]

I believe it can if there are other aspects of that person that you find attractive either emotionally, intellectually or spiritually!

[@alana2998]

@@SusanWinter thank you so much 💟💟💟💟💟

[@saycog1084]

Perfect

[@briana14333]

Susan, I just love your voice, energy and content. Thank you so much 🥰

[@cleopetra87]

I went through this big time! Thank you for shining light onto the subject 🙏 🥰 ❤️

[@SusanWinter]

You’re very welcome! Glad I was able to help!

[@cleopetra87]

@@SusanWinter you help me with everything Susan and I feel I'm a more wiser person because of you ❤️❤️❤️

[@Laurasfive]

Wow! Timely and true. They get in the gate and then low investment/ low value creeps in… they get comfortable or they don’t care. I don’t like holding on during this phase, so I align with his effort. No effort from him… no effort from me.

[@SusanWinter]

I’m glad to hear that you know your self worth and have established your boundaries!

[@laurenmcgrow7042]

Do you ever visit Australia? You should, we need you here for your wisdom. Always helpful Susan, thank you!

[@SusanWinter]

I would love to again but it’s not on the agenda for this year just yet!

[@catherinegardener9511]

Thank you Susan you're right on ❤️

[@eftipef2]

Excellent and timely advise

[@acd1168]

Wow I had that question too. I ended up leaving that relationship when I felt like he was starting to downgrade me but for the future I know what to do.

[@SusanWinter]

I’m glad you took yourself out of a negative situation! Many virtual hugs to you!

[@chrissycollett3679]

Hello 👋

[@SusanWinter]

Hi Chrissy!

[@eminek8526]

one of your best! ❤️

[@SusanWinter]

Thanks!!!

[@fine3023]

Thanks so much Susan! Helpful as always 💕

[@JemIsMyName-o]

Susan, you are the absolute best but I can’t find the KZbin Live on dating younger men. Help!

[@SusanWinter]

Have you searched in the search bar?

[@JemIsMyName-o]

@@SusanWinter Yes. I only see old posts, nothing recent.

[@daviddickenson1243]

Hello Jeska

[@ZenPepperClub]

Very well explained

[@patriciaessl8493]

I really needed this today! Thank you so much

[@SusanWinter]

You’re welcome, Patricia!

[@JM-cp6ei]

Well said, Susan!! 👏🏽❤️

[@SusanWinter]

🥰

[@evelynrenish4248]

Beautiful sound advice

[@SusanWinter]

🤗

[@queenjee8570]

❤

[@SusanWinter]

🥰

[@deevamuir8106]

Thank you🙏💝💋

[@SusanWinter]

You’re welcome!

[@mlantieri]

Hi Susan ! Ask your date in the beginning what value do they bring to the relationship?…..men will have no problem with this, women will struggle or just walk away.

[@radio7970]

Susan, I love your videos, and don’t mean to put you down by any means, your content has been such a help. But would you please look into your audio recording? It’s not hard to hear, but your audio setup captures a great deal of ambient mouth noise which isn’t pleasant for me. This could be an individual preference, but I just wanted to throw that out there if you have someone who could help to setup that new mic rig.

[@afrodite9801]

Love you but not digging the bangs