The First Date with Your EX After NO CONTACT (A Step by Step Guide)

[@blacademic]

Thanks for watching! If you want to talk about your situation, book a 1 on 1 coaching session here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj

[@osvaldoalvarado8119]

This video is excellent. Meeting the ex this Saturday after two weeks. Been following your videos like gospel.

[@remorsev6451]

Me too! She dumped me a month ago but she got so angry at me in no contact. Then she came into my work today out of the blue and asked if I wanted to catch up and have dinner with her this Saturday. I know my self value this time so will be interesting. Still love her. However I’m Not desperate at all, just curious to see what she wants and where the conversation goes. Wishing me and you the best luck with this Saturday homie!😂😂

[@The4kidsOPfan]

Thank you for making this; it was exactly what I was looking for. I'm meeting my ex one on one for the first time since we broke up tomorrow. No other relationship or breakup coach channels have videos on this. They're all too focused on no contact that they don't talk about the steps after, so thank you for this

[@НатальяБ-й5х]

How did it go?

[@swolebodydaddy3816]

@@НатальяБ-й5х ?

[@andrewhilastname5822]

Any updates for the rest of us?

[@The4kidsOPfan]

@@НатальяБ-й5х all things considered it went well. It wasn't so much a date but felt like old friends catching up. We've been in contact and are friends right now (we were friends prior to our relationship), but we're planning to have a more straightforward conversation at some point (she is out of the country for a few months so that's been a bit of a logistical roadblock)

[@The4kidsOPfan]

@@andrewhilastname5822 I think it went well. It wasn't really a date per se, but it was nice to hang out and catch up. We were friends prior to our relationship, and this felt like catching up with an old friend. We've been in contact since and hung out a few more times. At some point we plan to have a conversation about how things are, but logistical things have gotten in the way of that (i.e. out of country travel)

[@Mr._FishTailDaCharger]

I needed this my ex girlfriend is an avoidant and we’re set to go on our first post breakup date this Saturday the 29th

[@athlon329]

Good luck make you take Coach’s advice

[@remyd1984]

Hope all goes well. How long was you together? How old are you both? Did she rebound or date someone else?

[@remyd1984]

@@Mr._FishTailDaCharger good for you mate! She could possibly be an avoidant if she bottled it after 4 months

[@Mr._FishTailDaCharger]

@@remyd1984 yeah she’s definitely an avoidant when we were together I would ask her questions to try to get a deeper understanding of her childhood and how it was and she would not answer them for anything in the world she would often get defensive or say she had a fucked up childhood

[@remyd1984]

@@Mr._FishTailDaCharger maybe avoid saying anything about it until you feel she’s committed as much as you can get her then slowly introduce her to attachment styles!

[@unaivanovska9820]

If he's an avoidant, be prepared to not hear from him afterwards. Avoidants just want to check if they still got access to you.

[@chisomoffor6877]

Not all avoidant , but play the gam better , also don’t text them and they will text you

[@tankthearc9875]

yeah and i said to her ok we both have to decide if we get back together , but im not sure she really caught it at the end saying we need to take it slow

[@darlenejablonski415]

Had our first meet up on Sunday. Right after texted me when he got home and mentioned how good of a time he had and is happy to see me happy. Asked me if I’m down to see a comedy show next month. Nervous on where everything is going but I said yes! Trying to not overthink it all.

[@goodvybesbeauty5902]

First date tonight and it’s a comedy show

[@qiffebetty679]

Man, i think you are currently the coach who really understands the polarity vibrations and much more important, it is the way you give the stances. It is clear crystal. Continue w good job.

[@andrewhilastname5822]

Thanks for this video! I went on a date with my ex recently and it went really well. Saw a show, had drinks, and kissed goodnight. The next day I saw her again and she tried to bring up not being ready to move to the next step yet, and I said that's okay, we don't need to be talking about that right now. Hadn't seen this video yet so we did end up hooking up that second day, and I didn't go straight back into no contact after. I probably texted more than I should have immediately after and she became fairly distant, so I pulled back and stopped reaching out. Then out of nowhere she started reaching out a lot more and with more enthusiasm. As of right now we're still in that gray area, but we're going on a trip together in a few weeks - something we used to love doing together. Keeping my head in the game and hoping everything shapes up well. :)

[@RobertNephew]

After she reached out, how did you react? I'm going to have my first date after the breakup, she texted me yesterday and I kinda don't know what to do, don't know if I text her first today. Could you please give me some tips on how I can handle it. The date is set for 2 weeks from now.

[@agustinlopez1821]

@@RobertNephewsame thing with me, its okay to text first if you guys already talked about it, its not really a reach out its more just to follow through with the plan, but if its two weeks from now then dont reach out until a day or two before the date

[@tiffanyburke2785]

How did it end up? I’m in the gray area too

[@Mia-q7n]

Thank you so much for your video. I watched it half an hour before meeting my ex for the first time post breakup and no contact period of a month. I brought back her belongings to her house. She invited me in and after a cup of tea offered to cook dinner. The conversation was flowing and we had a few laughs. I noted intense eye contact and it reminded me of when we first started dating two years ago. After dinner I went home. It feels new again and better. Now back to no contact. Nice feeling coming home... Hope this did the magic ...

[@meme-zv7kw]

NO CONTACT WORKS...my ex wants to get back together and told her mother and brother that we are going to get back together.

[@tena2013]

Hope its healthier now and you're still together

[@meme-zv7kw]

We plan on getting engaged

[@tena2013]

@meme-zv7kw that's great to hear. In my case I lost my engagement. Should I ever have an opportunity like you guys I hope to marry her soon after. Wish you guys all the blessings

[@Randomperson11121]

How long did you do no contact

[@meme-zv7kw]

@@Randomperson11121 4-5 weeks

[@ericwalker6878]

I pray we get back together but I pray we find someone that is best for us

[@francescoitalianman7305]

Coach blac you're among my 2 preferred coaches among all ones I listened videos!! ...so means you're one of the best on YT👍🏻👍🏻thanks so much for all your suggestions and help 🙏🏻🙏🙏🏻

[@sandyskrit]

We had our first date after no contact and I am not sure how it went. Things were very lighthearted and we caught up and laughed a lot. Our conversation never turned to the relationship. When he took me to my car we had a long hug and he went in to kiss me and I kept it at a peck-I think he would have let it be more. This was the second time since the break up that I didn’t let the kiss go on. (Previously I had been breadcrumbed) and decided this time no more. When he was hugging me he said let’s get together again soon, but nothing was set up. Did I or he friendzone the relationship? Should I text him saying something light? Like, “thanks for dinner last night it was a lot of fun.” Should I not reach out? No contact again? Help please. I feel like this is time sensitive.

[@LIGHTBEARstudio]

Let him call you, give him space and value yourself meanwhile, you're worth so much and if he sees it he'll be reaching out. He already showed that he wants to get you back and physically it may be a bit forced, so I would recommend to not go into physical mode yet. Take your time, trust in yourself.

[@mateoaguilar194]

Update please, I will be seeing someone in two days and I would like to know how to go forward based on what your next move was

[@AlFakherFan]

I got my ex girlfriend back after 2 weeks of no contact. Thank you Coach. She made a gift for me, I ignored, same day she texted me and we got back very romantically.

[@rustyrathbun6787]

Thanks Coach. Your words have meaning and wisdom and that's what most of us need that are watching your video's.

[@darnellj.9812]

I think this maybe coming sooner than later . I am now getting random text about things that’s simple

[@brickhouseconstructiondesi8051]

I did the no contact. And followed the principals. She wanted to see me so we scheduled a location to meet up. The date was a success till we got to the end.. So she waited till we had a good time then she tells me that she has all my stuff packed in a box in the trunk of her car. So the date didn’t end up well. She cried and told me she didn’t know what to expect and she didn’t want to ruin the evening so that’s why she waited to give me my stuff.🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️ I felt so stupid for I thought we was moving forward She came to close the chapter for then she says let’s work on ourselves. You never know what can happen.

[@exquisite_f1213]

I’m so sorry 🤍

[@GeneralLocooo]

@@exquisite_f1213I’m so sorry King. May God almighty bless you with a more beautiful, smarter, and loyal woman. Amen 🙏🏽

[@andrewlaird4993]

Going tomorrow, thanks for tips

[@blacademic]

How did it go?

[@andrewlaird4993]

@@blacademic I handled it exactly as you said, by the end of our meet, she was almost jumping on me, trying to make another date right away and all over me!! It worked 😊 thank you so much for the advice coach

[@swagsick6808]

If all goes well this week we'll hang out for the first time in over a month. No definitive plans, just taking it step by step. Talked to personally on the 4th, and she texted me on the 6th, called on the 7th, and came over to talk on the 8th. Shes still a little hesitant, this isnt the fist time we've broken up but its the longest. But she made it clear she wants to take steps to mend the relationship.

[@fordperformanceandoffroada376]

I’ve been in no contact. The longest my ex went without texting me was 10 days . Few days ago after she initiated contact, I asked her out for a date . She actually ignored it . But asked if I was dating anyone, I said not really and ended the conversation. That was Friday and heard nothing until Monday . I went to lunch on Sunday with a few female friends and we posted all on social media the good time we had . So Monday my ex contacted me , I tried to keep it brief but she kept texting . I asked to take her out on weds for dinner and she agreed immediately.. thanks coach I’ll keep the 3 B as part of my date game plan ..you have been a great help

[@LIGHTBEARstudio]

Hey there, bud! How's it going between you two? I hope everything is great now, but would love to read it from you. Peace!

[@Mygfislazy]

Update?

[@babydii3487]

She sounds toxic

[@TheDeathByRainbows]

Love your videos, they always come right when i'm feeling at my worst. Going into month 8 of limited contact because we have a 1 year old togheter. But she left.

[@Spek4life]

Pfff i feel you bro, i got the same with a 3year old.

[@TheDeathByRainbows]

@@Spek4life she now lives right in the apt next to mine. She's 24. I'm 27. We changed alot since the birth of our child. I think she's dating. She told me she has someone new but i haven't seen him yet so its difficult. She's also lying and hiding stuff. It hurts but you can't do anything. We we're togheter for nearly 8 years. Maybe she's post natal depressed. Maybe she just wants to enjoy more of life then being comitted. Time will tell. But i ain't waiting anymore.

[@Spek4life]

@@TheDeathByRainbows those girls nowadays are acting all the same pfff. When you do your best for someone they don't want you. And when you take your distance there will be a bigger chance to work things out

[@TheDeathByRainbows]

@@Spek4life i do admit i saw my faults aswell. Maybe i was too neglectfull or acting weird but its too late now. You can never know if things will turn out okay. Maybe she's looking if the grass is greener. You can't know. Just go with the flow and move on slowly. I'm also already having meet ups with a new girl. We're taking my son to the beach togheter. Maybe it will turn out okay with the new lady or the ex wants to reconcile. Whatever happens happens. Just try to keep being positive

[@Spek4life]

@@TheDeathByRainbows true bro ! I hope the best for you. Thanks for the respond :)

[@LAURANRAMOS]

Hey Coach Blac. This is really valuable information. I love your videos and have been watching for some time. I’m wondering if you could do a parallel video from the alternative prospective. I pushed my ex away to the point that he left the relationship. I was the least invested partner and fully regret it. He’s doing no contact and I’m respecting his boundaries since we both have plenty to reconcile. I want to reach out to him but I don’t want to overstep. What steps can I take to make a connection and prove that I’m invested?

[@LAURANRAMOS]

@blacademic

[@SonuSharma-kv8qi]

I am in the same condition have you done something? She is also stubborn its been 4 months but she's also not contacting me, I started NC first

[@maryjocunningham3596]

Thank you Coach Blac you do an awesome job helps me out every time I listen to one of your talks. Thank you.

[@johnrambot]

Sometimes they’ll post pics of that date in their stories saying I had a great time. Do not over react to that or they’ll run away just say same here and no heart emojis or let’s do it again. Let them reach out to you still.

[@Seephora]

Thank you...I discovered your videos yesterday and they are very useful

[@caseysugden9067]

Such incredible advice! Thank you so much

[@CiluhStyle1]

We kind of got a date on our daughters bday...she reached out days before saying she misses me and loves me but want to take it slow...first time us seeing eachother for 5 months

[@anna_0308]

Great info in this video. It’s been a little over 2 weeks since I last saw my ex, post breakup. We got intimate last time I saw him. We had about a month of no contact before that. What should I do?

[@Bluepearl187]

My ex was supposed to take two of my kids (not his) to the movies as promised before the breakup. He invited me to join them a day before. We just got back, we hugged and I swear turning around and letting him go was hard. Will see if he reaches out again.

[@tiffanyburke2785]

3 months post breakup. 2nd date and first kiss. Hard to wait. What next? What are the odds that a kiss leads to a reconnection? Or was it just a moment in time?

[@AcezClan]

What if she unblocked me on everything as of last night after inviting her for some coffee. She keeps telling me she doesn't want to be friends or get back together yet she decided to unblock my number after 80 emails of talking and she unblocked me on social media.

[@melvenlabitad6233]

Ex g/f invited me to talk with her in person after a back and forth of rapport building/breaking rapport through texting. Met her up and repeated that in the conversation until it went deep and we discussed about how we missed each other and the pain we had to endure without being around each other for 3 weeks. Mind you, she broke up with me so I was ready to move on but something inside me just wouldn’t let me do it ( hence why I said yes to the invite ). She opened up to me and so did I. Grab her hand and hold onto it during the deep intimate talk. We’re both very sexually active and she kept on reminding me how much she’s been on heat. And I also opened up and told her the same about how I felt during the no contact. We said that we would take things slow and hopefully don’t end up doing the same mistake. Invited her to grab coffee with me this weekend and she said she’ll let me know and I respected her for the response. Then we said our goodbyes after spending an hour 1/5 together. Any thoughts or advice on this? Some pointers on what I could’ve said better?

[@cplcaz01]

I’ve been in no contact for a bit now, she reached out to me two days ago, so I suggested we go to dinner, I told her when I was available, said to her Friday at 8, she came and said yes but if it’s only a friendly social thing. Anything else she couldn’t do! I told her it’s only dinner, I think this was just her trying to test me? But we shall see! The 3 Bs sound good to me. I’m just wondering if she just said that or she does want to see where she sits in terms of getting me back?

[@tradingwithkatly2904]

so finished first date with my ex, went reallly well, we kissed we flirted, wi built repore and broke it and created freedom, was reallly nice, she was keen on getting inmate in the bedroom, i still got a sense that she thinks she can still do better than me which i found somewhat arrogant of her and very unusual as happy as i was to see her and be with her, its valentines day on on wednesday and im conflicted if i should do something or nothing i need your assistance here, do i continue doing no contact and making her feel free, or what do i do

[@kuba.brys.7]

Coach, and who should ask for the second Date?

[@MVProfits]

This one of your best videos for sure. The why and the how. Now, in my case it remains to be seen if I'll ever use this, hopefully I will. I knew a lot of this already and yet you had a few good tips.

[@taghazoutmoon5031]

what if we're meeting for "closure"? he broke up over text. i told him that's inappropriate for a 3.5 year relationship and especially after i just came back from an overseas trip. i told him if he had any balls, he would meet me in person and tell me what's going on. it's been 3 months and he asked a few times to meet but we kept postponing it.

[@agustinlopez1821]

I followed through with your advice and my first date went very well, had some laughs some nice moments and ended with a good hug She texted me that weekend (2 days later) and i went to sleep over at her place but i did not hook up i held back she even took her clothes off saying she was hot and i still held back, went for breakfast and later met up for dinner. Also good times, but she mentions how its hard to get past what i did(reason of breakup) I hvent reached out since then so its been 4 days, i feel that she wouldnt mind me reaching out but im still on the path of no contact, i have her concert ticket for saturday that she said she still wanted to go to but with a friend. Should i just wait for her to reach out to me? Or is it okay to reach out if our dates were all good? Confused😵‍💫

[@mejesswilliams4464]

Are you single my man? Hahah great video

[@Cantsaywhoiamtbh]

After the date went good we sent each other some pics and videos we took that same night. In the morning I sent 3 more pics I forgot to send. Did I mess up? lol

[@CPdiscipleofJC]

What a real real help

[@antholynthianjaya5133]

Coach, is it will disturb my no-contact process when I replay text in the group chat which my ex still in that group?

[@dogboydom]

I’m going on a date with my ex from 2+ years ago. We broke no contact last week and have been talking semi consistently. Here and there each day nothing crazy. We’ve talked through our issues and we both show clear interest in eachother I just need to know how to navigate the first date again. It’s been a long time since I’ve dated and a long time since I’ve dated her obviously. Where should my priorities be on the first date?

[@morfdubstep]

What if she agrees to a date or meet up but says she doesn’t want to lead you on because she still knows she will want space after

[@londonanddanielle3875]

Hey, I have a quick question my ex broke up with me after two years he contact me after a month and wanted to see me for a massage. Went over there saw him had a great time now. I did not hear anything back and it’s been a week. what should I do?

[@ninjasteve22]

I'm seeing my ex in a month or so, she said we could get dinner when she's visiting my city. Where she lives far away should I still let her go/feel freedom at the end? I feel like my anxious side wants me to lay it out on the line when we say goodbye/hug. I probably shouldn't if I'm thinking this eh. She's a direct woman.

[@davidkelly7296]

Hi Coach. I wish I had seen this video a month ago. I went out for lunch with my ex and it was going well and so near the end I asked her if she wanted to go for a drink that evening. She said no that we would only get back together if we kept meeting up and that's not what she wanted. I was expecting her to say yes as we were getting on well. I didnt get upset but just said let me know if you change your mind. I also made some small mistakes such as buying her lunch and showing maybe a little too much interest. I texted her 2 days later and she wanted to be friends but I said no I am not interested in friends and I have gone no contact since. Have I blown it?

[@LIGHTBEARstudio]

You didn't blow it, she might still be testing you. Keep the no contact for 2 weeks or possibly a month, she'll see that you really meant to be with her and that you see your value. Don't carve in, remain strong and keep your mind at bay by doing things you love and a lot of exercise. Work on yourself meanwhile.

[@davidkelly7296]

@@LIGHTBEARstudio she has since deleted pics of me from her instagram. A few days earlier I stopped watching her stories and rarely go on instagram now. I didnt respond. I still have her photos on mine and just ignored her like it never happened.

[@LIGHTBEARstudio]

@@davidkelly7296 don't focus on her actions, try to avoid looking her up. Work on you, develop your passions, work out, get really well and don't do it for her attention, rather for your own good. You'll feel really awesome and she'll come back regardless but as I said, DON'T do it for that cause. Because if you do you'll be in a different mentality and you might just end up hurting her and yourself again when your ego answers instead of your heart. Be well, enjoy the process and think about the things you'd change when you get together again. Maybe you needed to much attention, maybe you asked for more time than her possibilities, only you'll know. And LEARN PATIENCE!

[@LIGHTBEARstudio]

@@davidkelly7296 how's it going, Dave? I hope much, much better!

[@li5043]

Update​@@davidkelly7296

[@alijhill]

If it’s a dinner date and should you we split the bill?

[@lostsoul23-sr4du]

My ex has planned to see my godson this Saturday. We have been broken up for 4 months and the talk about rebuilding trust has been had. She says that us going together to see our godson is a baby step to building trust. I'm not sure if I should go for it or not because I don't knownif this is serious or her trying to friendzone me. We haven't gone on a first date yet nor has she asked me and probably won't. Is it on me to set the date up?

[@elicianademinnuggetsofwisdom]

Love your videos! Thank you!

[@Imhotep397]

It would be great to have an explanation of how race and interracial connections play out with no contact. Generally, I don’t mix and haven’t in years, but the last situation was. I’m in no contact and mostly feel that race will be the deciding factor of whether she will come back as I think that drove her away in the first place. It’s long distance, she hasn’t seen a picture of me we had a lot in common, but after I showed a picture of a relative in a mask, the sharing of personal information from her side stopped. There’s a sociobiology titled The Digital Dating Divide that presents a well evidenced case that black men are socially excluded from the dating pool. The question is does connecting break through the social programming of racism or not? Does the fact of someone that’s not black knowing you are supersede a “hacked” connection before knowing the person’s race?

[@MethodiousMind]

It makes no difference at all, in my experience. I don’t even think sex/gender matters as far as this technique.

[@ChynaFearsBuckwheat2001]

Dude, it’s simple. You’re with a racist. No need to over analyze. Drop her.

[@8-bitwhale]

I'm going to be honest I was the one that walked away as a person I really didn't want to hurt her when I was going through some bad stuff is been 4 years since we talked is so odd that we just started talking like nothing happened which is odd to me

[@Sam-us8qt]

Don't waste your time on no contact, they never come back.

[@bluerain9104]

Well that's just not true. Mine reached out after a month and we've been meeting up several times this week.

[@MsTerrell4]

Is it good to block the ex at first with NC. Cause its hard for me to not answer him

[@muzwakhilemlambo6898]

It's been 3 weeks since I've gone no contact..but I'm having serious difficulty deleting her number..please help

[@experiment-im3pk]

I haven't taken to him in December still has me blocked on everything😮

[@kgalaletsompofu9072]

I wish I saw this earlier 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@moniquehodge9976]

Great advice…but you look tired…😂😂😂of us valuable women…😅

[@edwardshaver868]

Very good

[@melissabrzescinski494]

Omg…I think I blew it already 😂 I asked him to be my bf again right before we were about to have sex. He said no, I felt rejected and I asked him to leave. This was a week ago. I can’t believe he’s still talking to me. I’m an idiot. We had an absolutely fantastic time when we went out. Ugh. I’m probably going to ask him out again.

[@bigsmilie07]

Be patient, just flow/vibe

[@BlueAngel2397]

Please don’t ask him out again. Never let a man reject you twice, a woman should never chase a man. Do you see the egg chasing sperm? It’s written even in our biology. If he wants you he will chase you and show you. Otherwise, forget about him.

[@melissabrzescinski494]

@@BlueAngel2397 I’m pretty sure he wants me, he just has a lot on his plate right now. He cares for his Dad who has Alzheimers so he works outside every day then goes home to cook and clean. He cooks two meals (for he and his Mom plus a separate meal for his Dad because he’s picky and easily agitated). I broke up with him in April because I was suffering from excruciating pain from sciatica which caused lack of sleep and opioids for the pain. I had back surgery 6 weeks ago which has made me a new person. I’m myself again. We chat every day for the last month. I’m not ready to give up just yet. I love him very much. Wish me luck.

[@BlueAngel2397]

@@melissabrzescinski494 We all have responsibilities and issues but we make time for what we really want. Please don’t make that an excuse for his rejection. Men love to conquer and chase by nature and are rather simple and straightforward beings. They don’t beat around the bush when they truly want a woman. If he said no, please believe him.

[@bl7817]

I'm shocked that you're posting your real name and all these details about yourself and this man. You need to develop some serious boundaries. I was squirming just reading this! @@melissabrzescinski494

[@goodlord420]

Mine wont go on a date with me. I know its got to be her idea but she keeps asking what im up too and what im doing, so i tell her and she gets jealous and mad. Then i offer we go and do something some time and she tells me no, but that she wishes we would have done more when we were together. But then also asked me to come over her place for sex which i did once since we split and honestly i regret it.

[@CiluhStyle1]

Bro you got a gang of 304s I just know they dying to be with you lmao

[@Mr._FishTailDaCharger]

@coach blac I’ll update after the date this coming Saturday the 29th

[@UnicaAqui]

Dudes and dudettes... They left you before, why bother jumping through hoops and playing games with someone who needs games in order to feel anything with you? They've already made their decisions. Leave them alone. Why go through all this? The avoidants are just going to cycle through and cause damage again when you get too close. And then again you'll be doing the get back Tango. Dating is a joke nowadays.

[@Metamorphosis2.0]

❤

[@MrMarkGoudy]

Damn I wish I saw this yesterday

[@javietespinoza4162]

Do I say I missed you her do I say I love you wen we part ???

[@luisMontoyafit]

I completely blew this one out the water. We talked, we had sex and now it’s like we’re dating all over again. I should have set boundaries. Lol

[@blacademic]

Slow is good. But sounds like you are still on track

[@j.cpeniel2319]

😊😊same here

[@luisMontoyafit]

@@blacademic I took your advice and everything went great but my issue is she’s pressuring me into acting like we did when we were in a relationship which is making me pull away because I know we both need to do the work. We both ignored the walks and now she’s in her feelings pulling back after I addressed how I’m feeling.

[@Metamorphosis2.0]

😂😂😂

[@brandongibson1817]

First

[@PedroLMariano4]

Very good content! Thank you so much for your help! Greetings from Brazil!