The Geography of Recovery from Mental Illness

Explaining the adventures you'll have as you leave mental illness in the past. If you'd like ongoing resources and opportunities to ask questions, I now have a Subscription channel on Instagram where I share customized recovery resources based on Subscriber requests. You can Subscribe through Instagram: / markwfreeman
You can grab my book, YOU ARE NOT A ROCK, wherever books are sold, like here on Amazon: bit.ly/youarenotarock
(It's called THE MIND WORKOUT in the UK and Australia/New Zealand, DAS MIND-WORKOUT in Deutsch, ENTRENA TU MENTE en español)
Learn more about what I do here: www.markfreeman.ca

[@user-sj5zb8lf4z]

This is the most refreshing approach I have come across Mark. thank you and take care

[@everybodyhasabrain]

😁🙌 I'm glad it was refreshing!

[@dd_97751]

The switching themes thing is LEGIT. That has knocked me down a couple times lol. Protip: when you get to a spot when you're okay enough to pause and look back, you'll see that as you drop these compulsions and live your life through the meaningful actions that YOU want, that "new uncertainty" never actually mattered. For example: if it jumped to hocd and you were weary of knives, you'll be able to look at them after cutting compulsions by living the life you want, as you're holding the knife and be like "woah, I actually don't give a %@$$@." And you'll continue chopping those amazing veggies for the kick ass meal you're about to have. Mark is 1000% right in everything he's saying. The brain just wants something to figure out. Double also: if you ever catch your brain saying "what if?" for example: "what if it isn't OCD?" "what if it's different this time.." "what if.." well, what if we all turn into cotton candy tomorrow?? What if = RED FLAG WORDS. DO NOT LISTEN. You'll be able to catch the monster before it grabs you ;)

[@onyllindoro1361]

I am out of the cliff and headaches and pain are the new stage in this journey, thanks for the advice Mark ❤

[@everybodyhasabrain]

That's great you're taking your brain on an adventure!

[@Zgembo121]

Mark this is great work, huge respect for your work and for helping others. Keep it up as u r hekping so many. Take care.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you!

[@floweryunicorn8888]

currently trying to recover from ocd as a person that also has adhd and tourette's. Thank you for this video, it made me feel better.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@theboogie_monsta]

ADHD and this approach really work well together. It is helpful to remember that ADHD requires things to be kept external - e.g. support structures, information, people - if I try to just memorise these concepts and go through life alone, then it slowly gets warped and things can get small and unmanageable again. It's not the same as reassurance or compulsive obsession over mental health practice - it's just a requirement for mental fitness over the long term - external support structures in the form of experts, peer support, people who can keep us accountable and infused with helpful principles etc.

[@erickk1992]

I wish I had your videos 20 years ago. As I had HOCD for years and despite managing to ‘reign it in’ I always doubted myself and never perished any relationships bc ‘how can I expect someone to have to deal with my problem?’ Even with my recent relapse these videos are useful. I signed up with NOCD and started doing therapy and despite literally saying my goal was to disassociate my physical pains from OCD my therapist didn’t understand that I was having a problem there. Knowing that it’s common now helps.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It is very common to experience physical stuff, and to avoid relationships because we tell ourselves stories like the ones you mentioned. I hope these videos continue to be helpful with making some changes!

[@SmithBrookHollow]

Mark, I love your work!

[@Alrokerthon]

So helpful in so many ways. Thank you for sharing this with the world!

[@majaexploring3801]

This was super helpful! I like the thought of making values less rigid and trying paths out with curiosity

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Enjoy exploring with curiosity and flexibility!

[@stevepepin9009]

Mark - great stuff as always and thank you for your commitment to changing the conversations and education around mental health.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Steve!

[@saraemily7397]

Thank you, Mark.

[@letsgoBrandon204]

I'm recovering from a non-existence disorder. 37 years clean! 😁

[@Alb0z32]

I am very happy for you

[@Ashish-nd3xj]

So Happy for you....

[@ignacioandreszubeldia9831]

Mark, Thank you for all your wonderful work! You are Greatest of all times!!!!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you for the kind words, Ignacio!

[@kristymarie6065]

Great video as always mark

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thank you, Kristy!

[@haneenbany-mohammed4981]

Thank you so much for all your videos :)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

You're welcome!

[@sanjeev1847]

This was actually GREAT stream to watch.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks, Sanjeev!

[@lumpyunicorn72]

This is really helpful video thank you. I especially liked that you gave a couple of analogies with the fridge and forest that helped me get the concept, and the Q&A to share how the skills in the presentation can be applied :)

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Glad it was helpful! You're welcome :)

[@bettina_s]

Thank you for this. These videos help me motivate myself (even though I don't need motivation, right?) trough this cutting out compulsions thing. I have just started, but it's killing me inside. 😖

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Have fun cutting out the compulsions!

[@jacobmorres9817]

Ayooo ur an inspiration dawg i appreciate u Also, I really resonate with your idea on systemic barriers and not thinking it's a complete mind thing. The way I'm interpreting it is that your mental health is complex and affected by many factors so you need to look at all the factors around you that could be affecting you mental health. Like one thing could even be nutrition but if you can't afford healthy food, then that is what im assuming is a systemic barrier (though overcomable). So I think whatre you're implying is that this is a holsitic approach to mental health rather than just looking at solely the mind

[@Kellso06]

For physical sensations look up Dr.John Sarno and TMS ....all of what Mark talks about rings true. The mind is incredibly powerful ans wants to keep yoh in a state of fear trying to protect you

[@originmaple]

Wow 2 hours went by so quickly!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks for watching! Have fun turning the concepts into action now :)

[@Alb0z32]

Hey Mark. I haven't been diagnosed, but in the beginning of this year i got intrusive thoughts and began doing lots of compulsions and ruminating, and while searching my symptoms i came to the conclusion that i had OCD. There are no ocd specialists where i live, so when I came across your videos and they have helped me so much. In the beginning i had lots of anxiety trying to not do compulsions and ruminate, and now 3 months later i keep getting better better. Right now i still get unwanted thoughts but i just ignore them or say to myself that that thought could be true, or not true, and move. Just wanted to say Thanks a lot

[@everybodyhasabrain]

😁🙌 thanks for sharing this! It's great to hear these tools have been useful as you've been taking your brain on adventures!

[@WFE-cl6yt]

Mark I have a quick question. I am a Christian and have always valued my faith. It used to be so much so I had no shame talking about it in public. Of course as with everything in my life I’ve had debilitating doubting over the years and I’ve noticed in order to run away from the anxiety associated with that doubt, I’ve avoided God and everything in between for a long time now. Even when I would go to church again for the first time in a while, my mind would be elsewhere for much of the time. I realized all of these things are compulsive behaviors or avoidance of anxiety. I’ve recently had a tough brush up with depression feelings because of this among many other ruminating issues and anxiety’s. Sexuality doubting, harm fears, existence fears, control/am I gonna go crazy. I understand you may or may not believe in God or hold those values, but what are some ways I can face these compulsions that have made something I loved now something I’m afraid of?

[@lolanaenamilo2395]

I always try to do esp but I never manage to... I always give in to compulsions... I don't know what to do... I have put many of your videos to the watch later list but I never do however I decided I will now... I hope they help me

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Cutting out compulsions is about making changes. So you can start practicing by making any change in life. Just starting to make changes that aren't too distressing is a way to learn how to do things differently and sustain that change.

[@danielstamegna2391]

Same here Malkom, same here. Thanks for the advice, Mark.

[@YouLoveandYouLearn]

Amazing video, thank you so much. Do you have a link handy to the video you mentioned which discusses why it's unhelpful to label yourself on social media as 'vegetable hater' because then you identify with it? searched your KZbin channel for it and can't seem to find - would love to watch. thanks!

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thanks! Yes, here is the video on the Four Stages of Intrusive Thought Recovery: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jpurq6uwfdOVZ6M with lots of vegetables :D

[@YouLoveandYouLearn]

@@everybodyhasabrain thank you so much!

[@dkchetan7496]

How do we deal with intrusive thoughts that aren't ours. Like people doing terrible things that we read in news or social media . And that acts as a trigger to us giving us even more related thoughts and anxiety .

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It can actually help to see that there's no such thing "our" intrusive thoughts. I would approach a thought as an experience, like hearing or seeing something. There's no difference between an image in the brain and an image on TV, or a statement the brain makes about something horrible happening and a statement another person makes about something horrible happening. All we're in charge of is how we interact with experiences like those.

[@ROHANKUMAR-oi6bw]

Mark I am trying my best and maybe feel a bit better recently due to taking your advice, however I can't stop thinking about the past still, I care so much what people think about me and I have come across as creepy and have not been the real me due to this ocd thoughts and the anxiety. I can't stop thinking about the past still and I feel that there's something wrong with me as compared to others with ocd, I may have come across as creepy and bring the mood down and didn't hide my ocd and depression aswell as others did. These thoughts still torture me, will I ever get over these thoughts and will others always judge me based on previous experiences? Thanks

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Thinking about the past is something we can choose to do or not do. You're describing thinking as though it happens to you. We don't control thoughts. If the brain throws up a random memory about the past, that's just like some indigestion. But if we then want to get certainty about that and want to feel ok about so we start ruminating on it, that's a compulsion we're doing. Here's a video explaining more: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJ-npI2JfryIerc&lc=Ugyp-Cy8UWhQM1cmKup4AaABAg

[@fynnsfx5510]

Mr.Freeman, I struggle with the thought that I might be schizophrenic, because of my past drug use. Part of myself believes it’s just anxiety as I do have bad anxiety, but the other part of my myself thinks I really do have it. In a video of yours I watched you said to just accept the thought. How do you go about accepting the thought? Do you just soak in the thought till it no longer scares you?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

We're already very skilled at accepting many things. For instance, you're probably a pro at accepting things like trees and garbage. If I want to walk to the store, I'll pass some trees beside the street, and I keep walking to the store. If I pass some garbage on the street, I'll also keep on walking to the store. The garbage doesn't mean anything about me. I don't have to argue with it. This is the same practice you can bring to thoughts about any illness or losing control. You can go and live your life. Living our lives is also a great mental fitness exercise with these fears because underneath them is a fear of not being ourselves and not living our lives. If we put our lives on hold to chase certainty about some fear and seek reassurance, we're only creating the very problem we're afraid of: we're letting some brain stuff interfere with life. So enjoy living your life and doing things you value today. The brain can throw up whatever it wants. And you can walk right past that to do the things you want to do.

[@aaronvarela8941]

How do you pursue recovery without letting recover become another round of compulsions

[@everybodyhasabrain]

My most recent video is about that: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZSqk5qGo9GlirM

[@Miltonbosss]

Two questions Mark. I know you say to not say this feeling is negative or positive. (From my understanding) to not label intrusive thoughts as intrusive because that makes them compulsions. But how would I differentiate between emotion and thought. And feeling human. Is it Like having happy moments and sad moments but being ok with both of them? Geez I sound like a robot. Second question is what if you work in an environment that is a constant trigger. For me I work construction and it triggers me because I hate conflict or feeling like I don’t belong or rejection. This makes my mind go haywire. Should I leave that field? The anxiety is crazy

[@everybodyhasabrain]

This is just more of the checking and reassurance compulsions we've talked about in other comments. What would you rather spend time on that checking about brain stuff?

[@romantheroman98]

Hi Mark, thank you for your content. I have a question, do you have tipps on how to learn to address things with people that bother us. If there is something that bothers me in my shared flat I often believe I am too picky and cannot address it, turning out I am not addressing anything. Also I am also afraid of losing conflict. So there are multiple things that hinder me of saying it. What did help you overcoming that?

[@romantheroman98]

What I mean is, I have really Problems to decide when it is appropriate to say something and set borders and when not

[@DamsonUS]

@@romantheroman98 That's a really common struggle. You can accept the idea that you may lose the conflict, you may be overly picky, but choose to approach your flatmates anyway. Because you can be right or you can be wrong, either is fine, but talking about it will help you move forward.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

In general, with mental health, it helped me to look at how to be proactive. This applies to boundaries, too. If we haven't articulated a set of values for our shared space, then it's totally natural that things would happen that upset us. So that's one area to look at. And another is just practicing articulating your needs and taking up space. Maybe there are some fears there or painful experiences from the past. You can give yourself compassion as you explore how to have conversations you're afraid of. Articulating some person values to follow can help with that.

[@romantheroman98]

@@everybodyhasabrain Thanks Mark, I think I am roughly getting the theory you talk about. I starting to get it after a longer time recovery ocd when I first saw your channel. Anyway thanks to your free help, it has changed my life more than therapy. Just knowing that I can have any experience without it having a deeper meaning saved my life after some bad drug experiences. The hard thing about values is that people talk so important of them that I feel like it is something that needs a lot of work to figure out. Something like your “true” values, hidden deep inside your spleen as you would say I guess. I will check out the toolkit store for some value exercises

[@aaronvarela8941]

How do you differentiate healthy values from values that have compulsions tied into them

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Values can't be compulsions. I'd would take another look at what you're calling "values" there. Values aren't something like: "I value being clean so how do I stop a hand-washing compulsion?"

[@kristymarie6065]

How do you get rid of the paranoia? When my anxiety gets high then that starts up

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I wouldn't try to get rid of it. It could help to see that judging it as a problem and trying to get rid of it and control is what's fueling it.

[@kristymarie6065]

@@everybodyhasabrain ok thank you mark!

[@theboogie_monsta]

Around the 48:00 point, the discussion of physical issues and pain - polyvagal theory can help in many cases. Learning how to regulate the sympathetic response, ventral vagal skills etc. There are resources online to do with polyvagal mapping.

[@trevorhitchcock436]

can breathing heavy be a compulsion? is it okay to go from breathing fast and heavy from anxiety about what people might judge of me to just sitting with the anxiety. I may be starting work soon and I don't want to be seen as a bad employee or weird or inappropriate acting because I'm handing someone a meal whilst sounding like I'm having a panic attack. I can control the breathing, should I when it would benefit my values and not when it would hurt them like forcing myself to be calm to fall asleep rather than letting my body and brain do whatever they think is appropriate while I just lay and watch and keep going back to sleeping?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

It could help to see that the compulsions here are all of the stuff around checking and controlling what others think about you and trying to control those fears of being a bad employee or having a panic attack at work. It's very common that a person's fear about panic attacks is actually about other people judging them. But then we start checking and trying to control our bodies and that causes a panic attack!

[@theboogie_monsta]

So underlying your question is another fear. It's not about breathing. What feeling would you have if your colleagues see you as a bad employee, or inappropriate? This feeling is what you're trying to avoid. There's no behaviour which is inherently compulsive, healthy, good, bad, whatever. OCD is driven by a specific fear - broadly some variation of ruining, death, being bad, being judged, suffering. Think about all your compulsive behaviours, and try to work back to 'what will happen if I don't do this compulsion?'. You'll end up at a specific feeling, something that you probably felt at some point when you were young, deeply unpleasant and overwhelming. Cutting out compulsions means accepting this feeling will happen from time to time.

[@Boastinggamer2]

Mark what do you think of mantra meditation? Is jt good for cutting rumination?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

The question about something being good for cutting rumination is like asking: "Is mantra meditation good for not hitting myself in the face with a frying pan?" Ruminating is something we do. It's not a specific meditation that's going to cut ruminating for us. You could do any meditation and also just keep on ruminating or hitting yourself in the face with a frying pan. If you want to change those actions because you see they're not useful to you, then it'll be about changing those actions.

[@dkchetan7496]

17:35

[@gabbieEc]

So it’s not helpful to keep telling yourself “thoughts are just thoughts” stuff like that? Like telling yourself to “accept this” that makes the progress worse ? How do you just not react to them, when you can’t reassure yourself they’re just a thought. How do you accept how to feel it?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

What do you do with clouds or trees when you walk past them? Do you tell yourself: "Trees are trees. That's just a tree." Reassuring ourselves implies that the tree could be something else. One thing that could be useful to look at is if you're doing compulsions around thoughts, including thoughts you like. If there's brain stuff we like to believe is real and we like to attach our identities, too, then it's challenging not to do that with brain stuff we hate.

[@gabbieEc]

So basically stop reassuring myself ? How do you learn to accept without telling yourself to accept it? Like when the anxiety kicks in how do you accept it with out being like “accept the anxiety” ?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@gabbieEc Like I mentioned, I'd look at the mental compulsions that are making it difficult to accept and I'd look at how you interact with thoughts you like. It helped me to see that the problem wasn't with the thought, but with the judging and hating and labels and controlling I would try to do around the thought. Trees would be difficult to accept, too, if you shouted at them and complained about them and went searching for solutions to fix horrible terrible trees that are definitely just trees and don't mean anything about you.

[@gabbieEc]

Thank you for actually responding. I’m trying to see what you’re saying but, right now my brain cannot understand this. I’m two months into my ocd journey. So telling myself not to react , well my thoughts do it for me anyway even if I don’t get up and do my compulsions such as looking in the mirror and telling my self I’m okay, drinking my drink at work even if I think someone did put drugs in it, not getting up every-time I feel anxious.. but when I get the compulsions with my brain and I try not to react , my brain just answers for me anyway! Like when I wonder something, before getting a chance to let it pass by like the clouds my brain jumps to what I think is the answer. Jumps to reassurance.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@gabbieEc Did you see before where I mentioned looking at how you interact with thoughts you like? It really helped me to see that it was the "normal" way I'd be interacting with thoughts and experiences for years/decades that led to OCD. People will often believe that OCD is very recent for them, like being "two months" into a journey with OCD. But working with people on their mental health journeys for over a decade now, I've never met anybody that actually had a sudden onset of mental illness. It's more like a heart attack. It takes a lot of time to work our way up to it. When it hits, it'll be very sudden. But it didn't just fall out of the sky. So it was the "normal" stuff I was doing in the past that I needed to now do differently.

[@theboogie_monsta]

This metaphor reminds me of extremistan vs mediocristan. Engaging in compulsions makes us more fragile and unable to deal with the inevitable surprises and shocks of life. Similarly, many models of mental health treatment make people more fragile - the self-fulfilling prophecies of damaged, diseased, broken etc. kzbin.info/www/bejne/iH67c2x9mMtpmJo this video a good summary of Extremistan vs Mediocristan.

[@anweshabardhan1579]

Will you help me with this.. i suffer from severe ocd. Current theme is rocd and sexual intrusive thoughts about people other than my partner particularly 1 guy whom i find attractive. I get these sexual intrusive thoughts and few times it happened that I kind of engaged in the thought like I extended that scene (it felt like I DID IT n not ocd) to the point where i had to pull myself out of it coz it's morally incorrect for me. It didn't feel like ocd, felt like i actually want it and in that moment i let myself go n so i did in the thought what i really want to do. I don't knw if this is my real sexual urge or just ocd brain making me want this or creating these urges and making me feel that i strongly want it but I'm just stopping myself from wanting it. It's like you don't want to want something but you feel like you want it.

[@everybodyhasabrain]

Do you have a specific question you wanted to ask about cutting out these compulsions?

[@anweshabardhan1579]

@@everybodyhasabrain how to accept and move on without anxiety?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@anweshabardhan1579 I wouldn't see that as helpful. Trying to avoid and control anxiety would just create more anxiety. If we see anxiety as a problem to solve before living our lives, it's like putting ourselves in a cage. It's much more useful to keep the focus on living our lives while having any thought or feeling

[@jacobmorres9817]

@@everybodyhasabrain Sounds like ACT right? I think act focuses on accepting the feelings and then redirecting to things you find important

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@jacobmorres9817 what are you referring to?

[@11ellie7]

any tips for getting over the paradox of "how can i be certain that it's safe to give up certainty?" when it comes to phobias? the anxiety books say it's safe but it's like your friend telling you to fall back and they'll catch you but your life depends on them and you're not 100% sure that you trust them. the only evidence you have is that you've seen them catch other people before, but those other people had to give up their certainty too

[@everybodyhasabrain]

I wouldn't approach it like this. Trying to get certainty about safety is naturally going to create more uncertainty. As you've noticed, you can always think of reasons it's not safe

[@11ellie7]

@@everybodyhasabrain thanks. how would you approach it?

[@everybodyhasabrain]

@@11ellie7 I wouldn't at all. The entire debate around the question is the compulsion. It's the same as somebody asking how they can be certain they've completely cleaned their hands of any dangerous germs. The goal there is always going to fuel more compulsions. This is why my book starts off exploring how to set useful mental health goals.